So… listen to this… if you’re one of those people who watch Cole Palmer stutter in his interviews and think to themselves “See, he is so dumb”. . .
I got bad news for you, it’s time to lock those eyes to the screen and realize that Cole Palmer is one of the smartest players in the league, I don’t care what goes on outside the pitch! This guy has been pulling outlandish numbers since he was a child and still… check any scouting report and the first thing they mention is never his dribbling or his goalscoring, it’s his football IQ… the kid is a footballing genius… Go back to 2010, when the kid was still back in god damn Wythenshawe, splitting his time between after school detention, watching his father in the Sunday League and playing grassroots football and everyone around him already knew it… just listen to what his first coach once said: “Every game I’d catch myself about to yell “What are you doing? ” only to realize, 5 seconds later, that this prodigy had put in a pass that I would have never even seen”.
. . at that age, Liverpool, City and his childhood club… Man United were already all coming after him and even then he remained cold blooded… the second United told him he’d only be coming in for a trial, he turned their backs on them and joined City instead… he wasn’t gonna allow anyone to slow him down… in fact, hear this story out… In 2018, the Man City academy held a meeting to decide which players to kick out of the club and Cole Palmer’s name was on the list… with all of his teammates growing far bigger than him, his performances had been in decline for two whole season and with everyone looking for the fastest, most dominant dribblers, they were on the verge of signing off on his release when Jason Wilcox, the director of the whole academy stepped in and overrode their decision… when asked what he saw in him, you know what he said?
“He is extremely clever, you guys can’t even see the things he is seeing”. . .
and over the next 12 months, after years of going home lamenting to his father that he “just wished he was bigger”, Palmer jumped up from 5 foot 7 to 6 foot 2 in a flash… Just one year later, not only was he captaining Man City’s under 18s to the league title, putting down 20 goal contributions in 11 hundred minutes… but he had put them in the final of the FA Youth Cup… where he assisted their first to level the match, then scored the winner and lifted up his jersey to show a picture of Jeremy Wisten… his former teammate who tragically took his own life after City refused to help find him an agent after dropping him from the academy right in the middle of the pandemic… as Palmer would go on to say: “Off the pitch, I may not be the loudest guy, I don’t say much… but once there, it all comes out”. . .
and over the next 3 years it would not be any different… the only problem… was that the reward never came… The next season, they got him training with the first team permanently while still playing mostly with the under-23s… but even once the 19 year old completely dismantled guys that should be playing 4 age groups above him, dropping 19 goal contributions in just 12 hundred minutes and taking the league title again… all Pep Guardiola had waiting for him was one league cup appearance and 8 minutes in the Champions League… The year after that, he opened things up with his first goal for the senior team, then came back on, a month later, against Burnley and ran back into the dressing room the moment the final whistle was heard, grabbed his coat, ate a cereal bar and ran out the back door as Grealish and Foden looking at him like he was crazy… An hour later, he was already back with the under-23s, asking the manager if he could still be put in the starting eleven despite having already played a match that day… and by the end… he had banged in a hat trick… but even when the press came up to him asking him about the situation all he had to say was: “If there’s a game happening somewhere, I wanna be in it… this isn’t a big deal, I think a couple other lads have done it too… minus the hat trick” but… even though this whole situation earned him a few more first team call ups, even though he scored in the Champions League just 3 days later and came back in January to take the man of the match in his first game of the year, that would be his last appearance… with a foot injury leaving him out for three months and Pep too busy fighting off Liverpool to notice he had been averaging a goal contribution every 85 minutes he had played under his guidance, he kept hearing the same old promise: “Next year, it will be your turn”. . .
but even though City closed the transfer market by shipping out Gabriel Jesus and Sterling, supposedly opening up the way for Palmer’s full introduction into the team… it wasn’t quite like that… 10 months later, though 21 year old Palmer got to collect a Champions League medal as his team conquered the second ever treble in the history of English football, the reality is that he had virtually nothing to do with it… and he knew it… Looking at his 25 appearances, you’d almost be led to believe that things had changed but really, the kid who a year before seemed to be salivating at the chance to play wherever it may be, was now averaging only 25 minutes of game time whenever Pep let him on the pitch… either things changed or Palmer was gonna have to change them himself… And so, 12 days after the Champions League final, Palmer arrived at the under 21 European Championship and though he started off slow, once he watched Gibbs White miss a penalty in the semi finals, risking England’s best chance at taking that trophy in 39 years… like clockwork… Palmer showed up… assisting the opener, scoring the second and then assisting the third… coming back 3 days later to smack in the free kick that won them the whole thing… Now Cole Palmer was an european champion in his own terms, a Man City academy graduate with 13 years of service to the club under his belt and still… even after he came in late against Arsenal, putting Man City in front of the race for the Community Shield, only for them to choke and let go of the title in the last minutes… not to mention that a few days later, he also scored their only goal in the European Supercup, saving the club from starting their year by losing out on two trophies… by the time he got back to Manchester, instead of being welcomed with cheers… Pep Guardiola, the same guy that had promised that he’d finally be made into a starter the moment Mahrez left… came to him with an offer… a loan deal out to Burnley… Palmer’s answer was simple: “No, and I want to leave”. . .
For weeks, they pleaded with him, tried everything to make sure he stayed but just as negotiations seemed to be looking up… it was announced Man City had signed Jeremy Doku, a 21 year old winger, for 65 million euros… There were about 11 months left before the Euros took place and with Palmer still on 0 international caps and willing to do anything to make sure his name was on that list… that was the straw that broke the camel’s back… Only 4 days later, Fabrizio Romano claimed that after failing to secure the signing of Michael Olise, Chelsea were now in rapid fire negotiations for a mystery attacker… and just as the fans began hyping up half a dozen big name players they believed could be their new signing… It was announced that their mystery man… was Cole Palmer… To say some fans were disappointed would be putting it lightly… they had just paid 50 million euros for a 21 year old kid that still lived at his parents house… they already had Madueke, Mudryk, Sterling and Nkunku in their ranks and now they were paying a fortune for a guy that had 14 hundred minutes of senior football to his name… when Foden was the same age, he was already up to 7 thousand… it was really hard to argue that after spending over a billion in transfers, this would be the guy that was going to fix the most dysfunctional squad in the country, but then… well… then Palmer did his thing… After 3 substitute appearances, strangely even being deployed as a central midfielder on his debut, he was given his first start for the club and straight away, with Chelsea needing to score, he pulled the ball back and put it between a defenders legs, assisting their only goal and taking the player of the match award as he put them through to the next round of the league cup…. Suddenly all the newspapers were writing that “Cole Palmer cannot be kept on the bench”. .
. and Pochettino must have seen those headlines because the game after that he put Palmer on the starting eleven… It started with a goal and an assist against Burnley, then a goal in a draw against Arsenal, an assist against Blackburn, a man of the match performance with another goal and an assist against Tottenham and sooner than anyone thought… the doubters were being forced to swallow their words… as Pochettino himself told the press: “He arrived on deadline day and he’s already playing like he’s been here for 10 years”. .
. however… the next game would be his trial by fire… it was time to face Man City… Going in, Chelsea were, by far, the underdogs but after one of the messiest, most spectacular games of the season… their one chance to stun Man City with a draw… came down to a penalty in the 95th minute… so, with 40 thousands fans holding their breaths, Palmer asked Sterling to let him take it and proceed to smack it into the top corner… when the reporters asked him: “Did you feel nervous? ”.
. . he went: “Hmmm… not really”.
. . You can say whatever you want, but out there there are dozens of dribbling prodigies… but to find one who aside from all the technical skills has the vision and the mentality of a veteran… that is truly special… special enough that only 2 months after being released from the shackles of Man City and being allowed to shine… Cole Palmer was already getting called up to the national team… And once back, I guess it was time to defeat the allegations that he could only score penalties because Palmer went in with a goal away at Old Trafford, then not only carried the team on his back with 2 goals and an assist as they beat Luton 3 to 2 but made sure the second of those goals was an absolute stunner that even got him nominated to Goal Of The Month… before hitting his trademark celebration for the first time which ironically wasn’t even his idea, he was just imitating his friend Morgan Rogers from Middlesbrough though… given the fact the fans had already nicknamed him “Cold Palmer”, it surely made a lot of sense… and even better, with those goals, after just 12 starts for the club, he had already become only the 5th under-21 player in Chelsea’s history to reach double figures for goal contributions, as Cesc Fabregas would say: “Just last year he wasn’t even being considered to play in the Champions League final and then all of a sudden, he gets a move to Chelsea and now he’s the player of the year”.
. . though hilariously, if that maybe seemed like a bit of an exaggeration then, well… the best was yet to come… Look, after starting the year with 3 goals and an assist in the first 4 matches, Palmer went on a tiny dry streak… just one goal and 2 assists in his next 7 starts… but no matter how well he had been playing up to that point, Chelsea had only won 8 out of their previous 21 matches… sitting 11th in the table with a negative goal difference, more defeats than wins, closer to the bottom than they were to the top… not to mention they had just wasted their one chance at a trophy by losing the league cup final to Liverpool in their very last match… the one way of even remotely redeeming themselves that season was to somehow manage to climb up the table all the way to the european qualification spots… but to do that they needed a miracle… or I guess, they needed Cole Palmer… First game, he assisted the late equalizer just as they were about to come out of it with a defeat to Brentford and… by the way, remember when I mentioned he had become the 5th under-21 Chelsea player in history to break 10 goal contributions in the Premier League?
Well, now he had already outright broken Arjen Robben’s record that had stood for nearly 20 years… and the game after that, he pulled off a goal and an assist, clutching the 3 to 2 win against Newcastle… 6 days later, having already scored a goal and started the counter attack that led to the other, he went into injury time, still tied against second tier Leicester, thanks to the fact he had allowed Sterling to take a penalty which he missed… so again, Palmer came out of nowhere with a back heel assist to secure the win… and finally against, Burnley he pulled off another brace to force the game into a 2 goal draw… convincing half the country that unless Cole Palmer’s legs gave out, Chelsea would not taste defeat again… and as for the other half, well… the next game was against Manchester United… It all started off well with Chelsea going in front 2 nil in just 20 minutes with, of course, Cole Palmer scoring through a penalty… but then, Chelsea started playing just as they had the whole season and by the time the game went into injury time, they were behind… still… with everyone believing the match was done and dusted, 6 minutes later, Dalot brought Madueke down inside the box which, as you may have guessed, meant another goal for Cole Palmer though that one stopped looking as impressive once he scored another just a couple minutes later to complete the hat trick and take the win for his team… but yet again… that would not be the peak of his season… The next game he assisted a decisive goal in yet another draw and then against Everton… no words would do it justice… to start things off, a backheel touch to Jackson, then the cleanest of curlers with his left foot… 5 minutes later he comes out of nowhere to head in his second… and only 11 minutes after that, he intercepts it and smacks it in from 40 yards out… it was the fastest perfect hat trick in the history of the Premier League, the only first half hat trick in Chelsea’s history, the first Chelsea player to score in 7 consecutive home games and only the second to score hat tricks in back to back home matches… and even after all of that, with Jackson and Madueke arguing over who would take a penalty, he goes in, takes the ball, pushes them away and sends it in as cool as ever… going level with Berbatov has the second player to score the most Premier League penalties without missing and with Erling Haaland as the Premier League’s top scorer… despite having taken only 60 shots up till that point, while Haaland was already up to 101… as the legendary Alan Shearer would say: “We’re talking about a player with massive mental strength, there isn’t a moment where he isn’t calm and measured”. . .
or in the words of The Athletic: “To watch Palmer is to watch a footballer who thinks at a higher speed and definition than those around him… That’s his football IQ, he slows down the mind’s eye and then he finds the space”. . .
usually where there shouldnt be any… And, of course, to finish off the season… a goal against West Ham and then an assist in a 3 to 2 win, a goal in a 2 to 1 win and an assist for the winner in the final match of the season, completing a run of 12 league matches without a defeat and getting Chelsea up to 63 points… out of which… he was directly responsible for 27… take the points won by Palmer’s goal contributions and Chelsea would be just above Forest, one place above the relegation line… meanwhile… They were instead 6th with direct qualification to the Conference League… In what was practically his debut season, Palmer had contributed to 48% of his team's goals, more than any other player in the league… 33 goal contributions in 33 matches, only bested by Ronaldo and Haaland across under-22 players… despite the fact that thanks to his late transfer and initial doubts, Palmer had only played 74% of the available minutes… make those stats time dependant and suddenly he’d be above every Chelsea player in modern history, except for 2010 Drgba… not even prime Hazard could this version of Palmer… and though Haaland would indeed end up beating him to the golden boot… well… we’re talking about a goal scoring monster… ignore him and the highest goalscorer over the previous decade had taken 23 goals, only one more than Palmer… meaning that, no matter what, when the awards came that was meaningless… Palmer was awarded Chelsea’s Player Of The Season… twice, once by the fans and another by his teammates… then the Premier League’s Young Player Of The Year and the PFA Fan’s Player Of The Year, only narrowly missing out on the main award to Foden… but I mean, would the same have happened if they switched teams? I don’t know, but when they asked Guardiola about Palmer, the one that got away, he said: “If I had given him the same minutes I gave Foden, he’d still be here… that is my responsibility”. .
. but again… and I feel like I’ve said this a million times, he wasn’t done… Palmer had gotten his ultimate wish… with James Maddison going out injured… he was called up for the Euros… Look, no matter what, they barely even considered him… 20 minutes across 3 group stage matches and not a single start throughout the whole tournament… and somehow he still managed to be one of the most decisive players… In the semi final, with the game about to go into extra time, he was subbed in with 10 minutes left alongside Watkins who told him: “Set me up and I’ll score”. .
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