time to pull up a chair we've got another great story for you today in the AR Lounge family the only place where your hard-earned ivy league spot can make you the villain today in the AR Lounge sometimes the very people who should be your biggest supporters can flip the script and treat your success as a threat stepdad wants me to drop off college cuz his son would be hurt and Mom supported him I cut them off okay where do I start I 20 M have cut off my family particularly my mom others don't exist for
me it began 2 years ago when I secured a seat in an Ivy League College it was the happiest day of my life I had worked my butt off for years I sacrificed my sleep my social life and even my mental health to make sure I had the grades and extracurriculars to back it up getting into an Ivy League school wasn't just about the prestige it was about proving to myself that all my hard work was worth something I was over the moon I broke the news to my mom and she was ecstatic they dancing
and hugging me however the same news did not excite her husband and his son yeah my family Dynamic is slightly complicated so my father died when I was 12 my mom remarried 3 years later to this crap bag I'll address him as John I never called him dad though he wanted me to I just couldn't JN never really liked me he's always been the type of guy who thinks the world revolves around him and his main concern was making sure his son Billy didn't feel less than in any way Billy is a year older than
me but a completely loser like his father he didn't work didn't study and had no plans for his future he was just cruising through life happy to sponge off our parents I always maintained a distance from them I mostly kept it to myself I wasn't bothered about him or what he did with his life but when Jon started his dirty games to pull me back from achieving my dreams I had to dig in the dirt and here's where the conflict began so when I broke the news about my selection John gave a weird look to
my mom and all her excitement vanished and she sat down beside him I asked him what's the matter he said no it was just so sudden that you got me then hesitantly he asked me when did I apply for it and how would I even manage the expenses I said my father has left the money for my college tuition I'm going to use that he looked at Mom and said oh that money but you should have looped us in your plans I was in no mood for argument so I politely replied I wasn't so hopeful
for the selection it's not an easy grab hence wanted to wait for the results before telling anyone he asked me if I didn't even tell my mother about this and I said no I didn't even tell her then he was satisfied with my answer felt like I was being interrogated on the charges of securing a seat I informed them about the dates when I would be leaving and asked Mom to liquidate my fund to ASAP ever since I was born my dad put aside money in a trust for my college tuition and after his death
it was under my mom's control until I turned 18 John and my mom were let's just say less than thrilled in fact they were straight up against it they didn't see it as the light life-changing opportunity I did they saw it as a threat the next morning mom came to me and very timidly told me that I should consider joining a community college nearby and drop my idea of going to Ivy League school naturally I freaked out and asked her what's the matter she said nothing just that she was too scared to send me to
a far off place no matter how much I pestered she gave the same answer I broke down helplessly I expected her to be proud I mean who wouldn't be but instead she was asking me to kill my dreams then she broke down and said John wants this he isn't happy about it he's worried that Billy would be hurt I lost my crap and started yelling why the hell is he behind me and stuff like that John stepped inside my room that moment I realized he had been snooping on us the entire time and that's why
Mom was so nervous and careful in her words initially he was calm and said he was proud of my achievements but as a parent they need to be fair to both children hence it wasn't fair that I go to premium Institutes well my brother got a community college education I was stunned Billy who hadn't lifted a finger to do anything with his life was suddenly the victim because I had achieved something I argued that I've slogged my butt day and night for 2 years I've sacrificed all my happiness comfort and Leisure for my dream when
it was my moment to see it come true they shattered it just because it would make his son look like a loser this is not something I'm going to accept John got Furious that I called Billy a loser well that's the truth he's a bum he doesn't move his butt the whole day checks out my female friends who visit me and spreads rumors about me and my friends Billy was also home and he ganged up with JN to Corner me saying I have no right to comment on him or raise my voice at John he
pounded to punch me in the face but I dodged I'm not a junkie like him who would get in these fights so I told him that if he ever tries to do this again I'm going to report the cops about the Shady activities his gang is involved in at his friend's garage he swiftly backed off C Ing and calling me names I told John and my mom I was going to college whether they liked it or not and that's when things really escalated John threatened to cut me off financially unless I dropped out he said
the money from my dad was under my mom's control now and they would make sure I didn't see a dime of it if I went through with my plan he even had the nerve to suggest I take a gap year to rethink my choice and give Billy the time to catch up in life I looked up to my mom for support I was like can you please have my back at least now when he can stand solid with his deadbeat son why can't you back me up for once my mom was such a doormat that
to avoid the heat she started sobbing and said what can I do now I'm torn in between we need to respect his wishes he's the head of the family head of the family my butt I stormed out saying this this was the first time ever I used such words in front of my mom I spent the day at my friends when I went home late in the night my mom came to me she was upset about how things had escalated in the morning I thought she was sorry about not standing stand up for me but
boy was I wrong she told me that my decision was ruining her marriage and if my dream of attending an Ivy League school was even worth jeopardizing her marriage over I was speechless it felt like I was living in some messed up parallel universe where logic didn't exist she' begged me to obey John not for my own good but because she was scared her marriage would fall apart as I didn't massage her husband's Hollow ego I snapped at her that I was done getting manipulated by her sobs and tears I told her it sounded like
her problem if her marriage was that fragile maybe I wasn't worth saving then came the real kicker she got into an aggressive mode she gave me an ultimatum either I choose her and join a community college or I choose my dream school and leave for good it was an impossible choice for most people but for me it was crystal clear I looked her dead in the eyes and told her I had a better option either she chooses me or her husband and guess what she chose him no brainer she and John tried to resist giving
me my father's fund but I involved my dad's lawyer one phone call from him and she handed me the documents and the check I packed my stuff and left for college since then I've never looked back I'm in the second year of the for year program I Won't Say I'm thriving and stuff like that securing a seat in these colleges is one thing and graduating from them is another you literally have to trade off your sweat and blood for the degree and that's why it's so prestigious so all this drama happened 2 years ago and
now from a week back my mom is texting me asking me about my life updates and yesterday she told me she was coming to visit me I replied to her that I don't want to meet her but she sent me her flight ticket she said she was sorry and wanted to mend the fence now I'm confused a part of me just wants to ghost her but the naive innocent part of me wants to confront her and say what she has to say and also heed her about her toxic marriage it's tough when those who should
support you end up trying to undermine your achievements especially when you work so hard to get where you are op if you're leaning towards confrontation it could be an opportunity to express how her choic has affected you and to set boundaries for the fure future however it's also okay to prioritize your own well-being and decide not to engage with her if that feels right ultimately you deserve to be surrounded by people who celebrate your success and lift you up not those who hold you back trust your instincts update one hey guys sorry for the late
update though I gave the insights in bits and pieces in the comments but here's the complete details so after a lot of contemplation I met my mother initially it was all warm and fun I gave her a city tour took her out for dinner and stuff we both avoided the topic then on the day she was about to leave she addressed the elephant in the room she started off by saying it was so fun to spend these two days with you brought back so many memories of your childhood I said I hope it was still
that way it used to be so good when Dad was here after he was gone I still used to enjoy hanging out with you when it was just us just the two of us she interrupted yes but now we have a family and we need to respect each other it would have been so much fun if John and Billy tagged along and we all enjoyed it as a family that moment changed my entire perspective of her I wanted to stop her right there but to let her continue to see where she goes she was in
saying John loves you as much as he loves Billy he was upset because he was scared to send you so far there was one more reason why he objected to your enrollment he wanted to use that money to fund his business but I didn't give it to him I gave it to you I chose you over him that's why he showed the little Tantrums you're a man now you know how men behave when they don't get what they want especially when it involves money they get cranky then after talking some BS and beating around the
bush she said dear I was wondering if you could call John and apologize or probably invite him here over the weekend I'm sure he would forgive you if you make an effort I stared at her in disbelief and she dismissed it saying oh come on be a man just say sorry and iron up things apparently she wanted me to apologize for stirring the pot and causing this tension in her married life I was Furious Not only was she asking me to apologize for something I had every right to do you know pursue an education but
she was also acting like I was responsible for her husband's crappy Behavior I told her straight up I won't apologize to that scumbag she lost it and raised her voice you've grown up to be a selfish brat all you care about is yourself you caus the trouble in my marriage I get to Bear the brunt of your stupid decision my husband is suffering financially because I didn't invest in his business and rather gave gave you the money and now I have to bear his Tantrums amidst all this I just requested you to apologize and straighten
out the things that's also too much for you I was like hold on you didn't do me a favor by handing over my money to me that money was rightfully mine my dad has saved it for me and you need to grow a backbone or divorce your deadbeat husband if he's making your life that miserable if you're in a hot soup as you claim it's because you chose a terrible man as your partner she picked up her bag and left I was supposed to drive her down to the airport but after that argument I didn't
want to have any contact with her I'm just done with her she might have hailed a cab or bus I don't know neither do I care so that's about it I plan to remain no contact with all of them as I was for the last 2 years end of family drama and now I'm back to slogging my butt for the degree G it's frustrating to hear her trying to shift blame onto you for her choices and her marriage problems you have every right to pursue your education and it's disheartening to see her prioritize JN over
your hard-earned achievements going no contact seems like the best option at this point op update 2 hey guys it's been a long time 2 years precisely I'm not sure if the previous folks are around to be interested in my update nevertheless posting it link to the first two posts here as I said I remained no contact with my mom and others however a few months later mom started contacting me again texting regularly to check on me sending cards on birthdays and Christmas sending a voicemail and calling I never responded to her calls or texts but
sometimes I just reply thank you to her wishes I also told her twice not to bother me because I don't want a mother who cannot stand with me against odds but she continued as if she was following some rituals I stopped getting bothered I made my life in college and I'm just about to graduate and have my bachelor's degree but but but drum rolling I already got a job I bagged a fantastic offer in the college placement I can't name the company but it's a big four I'm on my way to building a solid future
for myself but as always my mom and John aren't far behind trying to inject their drama into my life as my graduation day is approaching my mom has been blasting my phone asking me for the invite apparently she and John wanted to come to my graduation to celebrate my success I flat out told her no there was no way in hell I was going to let the two of them who actively tried to sabotage my education stand by and pretend they had supported me all along they didn't get to share My Success after doing everything
they could to make sure I didn't achieve it she didn't take note of me an answer and continued to pester me for the hall pass her texts display all sorts of emotions but anger sometimes she's teary that I don't want her and sometimes she's guilt trippy that she's my mother and she has raised me the best she could yet I have Cut Her Off she says seeing me graduate is like her dream coming true and I'm denying her that moment of happiness but I didn't budge now my final exams are over the results are out
I got a job and my graduation day is oncoming Friday I didn't tell tell my mom about my placement but a week ago my friend posted a story congratulating me on bagging the offer and I shared his story on my insta that's how my placement news reached them and since then JN has been blowing up my phone no texts only calls I ignored his calls for a while then I was like let me face it I responded and he jumped straight into business rephrasing what he said dude I don't know what game your mother is
up to I don't get it I don't care all I know is you owe me the money you took away you used up all the money we had for your college I needed that money for my business and your mother gave it to you I got to know you bagged some fancy job now I want that money back I laughed in his face I told him I don't owe him a single scent that money was of my father and no one has any claim on that not even my mother he got Furious and screamed then
why did your mother tell me she had so much money when we were dating I asked her to put it into my business but she kept stalling and then it gave it to you I was done listening to his crap I also yelled at him him that I don't want to be dragged into their crappy mess all I know is I don't owe anyone anything that money was rightfully mine my dad has saved up for me and it's there in his will he then cussed my mother and said I quote I don't know what that
woman is up to she's been telling me she's coddling you and wants to attend your stupid day to get you to return the money but look my patience is running thin I don't want to waste myself attending your stuff all I want is the money this Revelation punched me in the gut so my mom has been trying to to emotionally manipulate me she wasn't happy or proud of my success as she had been claiming she was doing everything to make me return the money to John I didn't say anything to him after that I just
zoned out and hung up he called me several times after that but I didn't respond and later I blocked him I also blocked my mother but before that I texted her that John exposed her true intentions and now I don't want to call her mom I was so distraught and numb for the next two days I know my mom's a timid woman and she can't call out JN and Billy for their BS but didn't know she was such a player that she would go behind my back and manipulate me for the money glad I didn't
buy her crap Wow way to go op it's impressive how you've managed to stay true to yourself and your boundaries despite all the pressure from your mom and John ignoring their attempts to reconnect shows a lot of strength especially with everything you've been accomplishing blocking both of them is the smartest move keep focusing on your journey and don't let their toxic Behavior overshadow your accomplishments update three hey you guys sorry for not updating this often work has been very hectic also nothing significant happened until recently to give you the timeline it's been 7 months since
my last update since the conversation with John and my last text to Mom things have been silent I graduated no one was there to cheer for me just my friends I started my career I'm doing well financially I'm happy with the choices I made for myself I thought I was done with my family drama for good until my mom showed up at my office she didn't didn't know where I lived but she figured out my workplace and showed up I had to meet her as she was waiting at the reception she started sobbing on seeing
me and hugged me I wanted to shrug her off but I avoided any confrontation in my office I took her out to a nearby cafe she insisted I'd take her to my home but I refused it she told me John had divorced her because she was unable to get the money back from me and now she was lonely and wanted to rebuild our bond I was amazed at how conveniently she reached out to me and expressed her desire to bond as if nothing had happened I confronted her the truth I got to know from John
she said people lie sometimes to save a relationship but this doesn't mean I want behind your back I never intended to give him your money that's why I kept styling it and ultimately gave it to you because it was yours I lost my mind at her manipulations and asked her why then she had to lie to John she said after your dad passed away I've been lonely we need a partner I was hoping you would understand this now that you're a mature man do you think he would have married me if I didn't tell him
about the money I owned you think he would have stayed if I told him I wouldn't give him the money I did everything to keep the family together I stared at her wondering if she was the same woman who gave birth to me who raised me and whom I used to love so much I said you didn't do anything for the family there was no family our family was over the day you brought that bum into our life you did everything for yourself because you were afraid to remain single she started crying that marrying John
was the worst decision of her life and now that they're divorced I should give her the chance I reminded her of of all the time she chose him over me she didn't just betray me once she did it over and over again and when I needed her the most she sided with the man who tried to destroy my future I told her I was done and I didn't trust her anymore she had made her choice years ago and now she has to live with it I'm not responsible for her loneliness or her bad decisions I
have my own life to live and I'm finally at peace she said she came to me with a lot of Hope and now she was heartbroken I stood up saying you reap what you seow I came back to my office and in to the reception is not to give my address or any details to anyone who came looking for me I doal feel bad for cutting her off she's my only family so to say but sometimes you have to take harsh decisions that protect yourself graduating and starting your career is a huge accomplishment and it's
great to hear you're doing well financially and feeling happy with your choices it's a shame your mom couldn't see the value in that before but it seems like she's only interested in what you can offer her now that your situation with John has changed your decision to protect your peace is important you work hard to build a life for yourself and it sounds like you're prioritizing your well-being it's tough to cut ties with family especially when there's a history but sometimes it's necessary keep focusing on yourself and your future you're doing amazing things do you
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