Cops, what's the dumbest call you've ever had to respond to?

Police officers have read it what's the dumbest call you've ever had to respond to not an officer but I picked up a few during a couple of police internships besides chasing a pig the mystery goo was probably the single dumbest call I can remember the officer I was with got called to deal with a family issue involving a minor and some healthcare type stuff so I stayed in the car listening to the radio with things like That it was sometimes better that I gave the family some privacy there were three other officers on that day

one was being trained by the field training officer so they together the other had his own car anyway I'm still listening to music and a call comes out if any of you recognized this I forgot the numbers or exactly what was said the call was along the lines of 323 City dispatch can you head to address caller is advising there is a brown goo in his alley silence Dispatch 32 3 uh Brown goo 104 he says it smells bad uh all right I'm still in the car waiting for my officer to get back because I

want to see what this mystery goo is more voice is on the radio dispatch 323 I'm 1023 on scene there's definitely Brown goo it definitely smells bad and more voices dispatch 316 and 324 are going to be out at address investigating that goo as well the fto had brought his trainee along my officer hurries back to the car And we decide we need to also investigate this goo we get to the address and pull into the alleyway now the entire City's police force is sitting in this tiny Alleyway talking to the homeowner SLC caller in

the ground grass between the gravel of the alleyway and the back of the caller's garage is this foamy Brown goo it was baking in the Summer sun and it smelled like a combination of roadkill and a ham and cheese sandwich that had been left Sitting in a hot car for about a week we all stood around making jokes for a while before sheriff's deputy joined the fun I poked the goo with a stick which didn't do much more than release more bad smells the caller had a rake which only spread the goo around further the

fto got this dumb smile on his face and said you know this seems more like a fire department issue he got on his radio dispatch can you start fire to our location for the goo 316 dispatch 104 a Few seconds later we hear a fire page series of tones unique to each department in the county go out over the radio and we start laughing in about 3 minutes two firefighters show up in basically a big Ford F350 with some rescue gear on it they get out demand to know why we called them in and then

also start poking at the goo they start to smile you know one of them says we don't have any water on this truck the other firefighter starts laughing and the First picks up his radio starting engine to address they back their truck out of the alley finally the engine shows up with four firefighters on board and the lights flashing the driver actually pulls this giant truck into the narrow Alleyway and drives up to where we were gathered around the goo they get out and walk up to us why are we here officer points to goo

first two firefighters laugh what is it we don't know God Dam damn it smells bad yes yes it does the Firefighters sit for a moment in silence we could hose it down maybe we tell them that they 100% should hose down this goo the homeowner sler agrees the firefighters unload a hose and attach it to the front of the engine they tell us to stand back and then blast the everloving crap out of this rancid mystery goo they send goo and gravel alike flying into this poor man's yard coating his garage with it now everyone

but the firefighter Manning the hose is Laughing even the homeowner as the firefighters packed up their hose we decided there was no more protecting Andor serving to do so we headed back for our cars as we were leaving one of the officers turned to the homeowner and said remember this is the fire department's fault and everyone laughed again this all took maybe 25 minutes at most such are the joys of small town policing ah small town that makes more sense I was like how are you getting Away with calling every emergency service possible to this

goo sure there are better things to do for a small town Force maybe not hopefully not story two here are a few dispatch to domestic violence qu my oldest son is assaulting my youngest son arrive on scene parties are 8 and six mother insists he got to go as in the 8-year-old had to go to jail for slapping his younger brother both brothers went to CPS and a safety plan was put into place to ensure the Mother was capable of raising them dispatched to theft someone is stealing my tomato Tomatoes off the tomato plant looked

in backyard noticed tops of hastas also missing Case Closed warrant signed on Bambi Prince of the forest from a few weeks ago on a very busy Saturday evening a guy called in a car blocking the driveway of his house parking complaint is a very low priority run and is being held while we attend to car crashes bar fights burglar alarms And the like guy keeps calling and keeps being told police are occupied with priority runs guy calls back was robbed at gun Point waiting for police we respond he doesn't want a report taken can't give

description but hey while you're here can you tow this car blocking my driveway we do he doesn't realize business across the street has video surveillance charged with disrupting Public Services a week later after video reviewed several reports of Burglaries in progress that turned out to be raccoons they at least addressed the part and several burglaries where the burglar put all belongings outside in black plastic bags these often had several notices of eviction from the Sheriff's Department people think by not showing up to the eviction hearing they can't get evicted somehow Story 3 xop had an

alcoholic walk into a parked vehicle fall over blame the driver verbally abuse him and asked for CSI to Prove it when we turned up the driver had just turned on his engine to back out of his driveway and the guy basically heard the noise bear in mind he was paralytic and just sort of followed the noise until he blindly walked into it he had no mark on his leg where he claimed to have been hit no dent on the vehicle not even a Mark or any evidence whatsoever it was a large car and any force

would have caused at least a notable Mark if it was in motion Oh and most importantly the vehicle hadn't actually moved at all out of the driveway ended up telling the alcoholic to go away because he was basically an idiot he tried kicking off at us and almost got himself arrested and another one I just remembered it wasn't me responding to it but it was quite funny to listen to I worked for somewhat rural force in England so sometimes it did get a bit quiet and not much would really happen and anyway one extremely lazy

Sunday the only thing over the radio for most of my shift were updates on a Fallen Tree in the road from a traffic officer yeah I've pulled up to the trees blocking the road yeah still sat here with the tree no cars yet I think I see the council turning up to get rid of it yeah scratch that it was just a tax do we know how long they'll be I've been here for ages now yeah they're definitely here now to get rid of it it went on for hours and it was hilarious H Before

anyone says anything in the comments the accent was abhorent there I said it for you moving on story four as a cop I get asked frequently about the most blank call I've ever taken what's the scariest the creepiest the weirdest the funniest or the stupidest call I've ever taken over my 11-year career with an additional three as a crime scene Tech I've seen a lot when you think you've seen it all you come into work the next day and get surprised again Because of that I usually have to pause for a while to try and

remember what specific story I think they would want to hear when it comes to stupid calls the list is extensive there's the mother who called because her her six and 8-year-old Sons were fighting over Pokémon cards there's the lady who called to report feral cats in her home which turned out to be two kittens less than a month old there's the guy who called to report that the ducks in the Pond behind his home were snoring and keeping him awake admittedly that was my top winner for a long time but I feel like early last

year a new winner arose to accept the stupidest call I've ever been to award the call which was initially reported by a third party came out as a disorder in a parking lot two men were outside of their vles arguing with each other then while I was on my way one of the involved parties called and said that a person was blocking him In that's not too uncommon many people make many bad decisions I think blocking someone in is pretty high up there on the bad decision scale but I've seen it someone takes your parking

space which really brings up the argument what makes a parking space yours and they block them in did someone cut you off tailgate you merge into your lane or do any other traffic movement that led to you feeling offended follow them until they Park and block them in baby mama drum why not Argue loudly outside and block her in so she can't leave before you have a chance to fully Express how upset you are boss didn't pay you on time block his car in with yours until he pays you it's sure to work but see

what people don't realize is two things the person being blocked in isn't really blocked in because they could get out of their car and walk away in fact the aforementioned boss exited his car went into his office and called the police to report that he Was being detained and kidnapped the other another thing that people frequently forget is that there are millions of guns in the US a vast amount of them in my state alone the worst thing you can do to someone who is already emotional and angry is to Corner them it's much wiser

to park elsewhere note the plate and call the police or evaluate the situation in your head decide whether it's really worth your time effort and frustration because they Merged in front of you or maybe just maybe you could head home to your family have a glass of wine and watch the Modern Family Marathon but back to my call as I'm driving I'm speculating on the possible options I could be facing on my arrival I pull into the parking lot it's a grocery store parking lot with an L-shaped strip mall of the anchor store and numerous

smaller businesses on each side along with a gas station on the corner a freestanding Auto parts store and a chain restaurant that serves pancakes of the international variety the parking lot is sizable with Lanes adjacent to parking stalls along with the access roads that run through the lot to allow Ingress and egis fairly close to the center of the lot I see them a Corvette and a lifted pickup truck it's basically a t-shaped intersection in the parking lot The Wider Road I use the term because I don't know what the drivey parts of the Parking

lots are called is running north south from the public roadway to the front of the storefronts the smaller Road tees off of that to the west and eastbound cars have a stop sign now understand that traffic law doesn't exist on private property at least in my state or any state I've ever heard of the only thing we enforce are DUI reckless driving or hit and run that's it stop signs on private lots are merely suggestions the Corvette is on the east West roadway Facing East about 15 ft back from the stop sign the truck is

primarily on the north south roadway in the midst of a right turn on the east west my first assumption is that it was a private property collision and the drivers both got upset and started arguing but as I exit my patrol car I see neither vehicle seems to have damage I contact the first driver of the truck he tells me that he's headed toward the grocery store he starts to turn right Toward the parking area and his truck is so large and the roadway so small that in order to negotiate the turn he takes up

both lanes of traffic of the roadway he's turning onto as he's turning the driver of the Corvette comes up from the west and refuses to yield while he finishes his turn he stops in the eastbound Lane and refuses to back up I clarify there was no Collision I talk to the driver of the Corvette he tells me that he's trying to leave the lot he's Driving eastbound through the parking lot toward the larger road that takes him to the exit as he approaches the stop sign the driver of the truck comes whipping around the corner

and into his Lane the driver of the truck refuses to yield to him and refuses to back up I clarify once again there was no Collision in speaking to them further I learned this hadn't just occurred either the traffic snafu occurred and initially both the drivers remained in their cars Trying to win the Mexican standoff approximately 10 minutes later yeah you heard that right the wife of the truck driver gets bored and exits the truck to enter the grocery store give or take 10 minutes after that both the drivers exit and begin to argue with

each other over who needs to back up and who needs to yield to the other at that point someone called the police and it took me just over 5 minutes to get there so here we are playing Billy Goats Gruff for nearly 30 minutes and to top it off neither vehicle was blocked in either driver could have reversed out of the situation and gone on their way but that's not how you win a dong measuring contest now is it upon realizing that the only crime that was being committed was both these guys could possibly reproduce

I did the following I clarified no crime was being committed I pointed out that the situation was so ridiculous that even one guy's wife wanted out of it I told Them both that I've met kindergarteners with more maturity and that they deserved every minute of waste the time they were spending here but I wouldn't be a part of it I suggested that they should find a way to reverse unless they were too childish to understand how cars worked then I turned and laughed out loud all the way back to my patrol car I left and

got Starbucks to to this day I can't fathom two middle-aged men stopped in a parking lot for half an hour Because each one felt they had a perceived right of way that doesn't even exist Story five obligatory not a cop when I was a journalist I was sent to the home of a woman and her disabled son the woman said someone had stolen their van which her wheelchair bound boy depended on to get him to school as well as his physical therapy and other medical appointments this is the kind of story local news outlets drool

over so on gathered there with a few of my Colleagues At This Woman's hastily organized press conference also in attendance were several neighbors to show support a bunch of cops who had been assigned to the case and the district's Watch Commander who I think knew the family this was well below the kind of event that would require his presence so someone must have pulled the strings to get him there anyway we're all gathered in her backyard and she's in the middle of a tearful statement About how important the van is to her son behind her

the sliding patio door of her house opens and a concerned looking man steps outside he looks at the wife and says something in his native language she answers he answers back and her face goes pale one of the neighbors starts laughing and we all look at him he says he asks what's going on she said the son's van was stolen and he said no I took it to the store to get groceries and stopped by my mother's for a visit And sure enough the van was safely parked in front of the street as it turns

out the father never drove the van unless he was out with the son he had taken it that day to fill it with gas unbeknownst to his wife I was able to turn it into a story about false calls to the cops Story 6 911 operator here call came in as a possible domestic male running down the street in the middle of the night behind a female both screaming and yelling second caller comes in Advises that they have no shoes and the man is screaming I can't believe this is happening to me very atypical verbiage

for a domestic normally you'd expect something more along the lines of screw you you female dog I'll murder you but sure okay we should still go the police arrive on scene shortly after then update with with very monotone voices that everything is fine cancel the ambulance cancel extra cars Etc won't explain further they are audibly trying Not to laugh and only mostly succeeding hours later in the office they explained that the couple had woken up from a supposedly dead sober sleep spotted a dark presence on their back deck and ran outside into the night shoess

and screaming that one made our Twitter feed story seven not an officer but my brother had an incident I will start this off by mentioning that my brother is autistic functioning but I don't think he can ever live on his own Especially after this he was picking out a snack in the aisle when the cashier decided he looked creepy so she called the police telling my brother that she was doing so so he was terrified and ran as he ran out the door he knocked over the slurpie cup covers the cops ended up finding him

outside and went inside to question the cashier it took a while to get from her what he actually did as she was laughing and cracking jokes the cops were not amused we were watching ing all Of this on the body cam footage all she could come up with was that the lids were knocked over they asked if she wanted to press charges and she said yes so thanks to a cashier that thought he looked creepy my autistic brother is going through Court proceedings and it's costing a ton of money and stress I mean I realize

being a gas station clerk can be scary but my brother did nothing from the body cam footage they did not seem pleased with going through all of this For a quote creepy looking autistic kid story eight not a cop but worked at a convenience store frequented by cops we gave them free coffee we were out in the middle of nowhere think of it as an insurance policy especially for third shift third shift it was dead that night cooworker and I notice a car in our parking lot under the light the only one that was working

that week because someone crashed into the other one two people in it car was backed into the Spot driver and passenger were clearly watching the store but never came in they had been there for at least 20 minutes we get nervous and call the non-emergency line for the C CS they say they'll send a squad car over cop takes a few minutes to show up and about about 20 seconds before he does another car pulls up next to the other one and the two start trading something through the windows cop sees this blocks them in

flicks the lights another cop comes by Two they investigate the driver of the first car was an employee of the store who apparently was also a dealer and chose to arrange a deal one where he worked two where cops were known to frequent and three where we were trained to call all the cops for suspicious activity we even had a few local cops sell numbers on the phone sheet behind the counter not to mention sitting for 20 minutes looking incredibly suspicious under the only light cops later said it Was the dumbest freaking thing I'd ever

seen story N I used to be a cop I got a call to an upper middle class neighborhood for a trespassing complaint when I arrived on scene I spoke with the quote victim a 50-some white male who coincidentally was an elementary school principal he informed me that his neighbor trespassed onto his property countless times and he demanded that I arrest the per when I questioned him about the per he informed me it was a 3-year-old neighbor child who was the trespasser I was obviously taken back that he was so adamant that I quote arrest and

punished to the fullest extent of the law a 3-year-old for the crime of trespassing I told him there was nothing that could be done criminally or Civ to a 3-year-old that was playing in his yard and accidentally stepped over an invisible line in the grass and I was going to leave he filed a formal complaint on me with the Department for dereliction of Duty my chief and the town mayor both told me to forget it story 10 when I was a little kid my dad called the police on a man with a gun outside of

our house we lived in the middle of nowhere Georgia and he was off deployment Navy if anyone's curious it was pretty late so the sun had died down and it was Pitch Black my dad went into the kitchen and took his glasses off to clean them very important my dad is nearly blind he looked outside The kitchen window towards the neighbor house and saw the shadow of a man with a shotgun standing in front of his barn instead of assessing the situation for a moment or putting his glasses on to verify he immediately calls a

911 and proceeds to tell them about the mystery shotgun man at the neighbor's house they pull up and he sees them walk around to the back of the barn turn around and go into the neighbor's house and come back outside he sees them handcuff the man And they proceed to walk towards our house instead of the cars at this point he puts his glasses on and goes to the door the police knock and he opens the door with the biggest crappy in grin I've ever seen in my life in a split second it changed from

happy to sad to confused to annoyed back to confused I see stares at two officers and a scarecrow in handcuffs the officers had quickly discovered the man was a scarecrow went to the neighbor's house Explained the situation and asked if they could borrow it for a moment the only words from the officers were no need to worry anymore sir this man's going away for a long time story probably will get buried but eh obligatory not a cop a butt my oldest daughter is very strong willed my oldest stepson is classic Asbergers so we asked him

to go get her at the bus stop she was in first grade at the time we tell him that if her little friend C asks if She can come over she can but otherwise bring her home and I go to take a nap I wake up to my husband saying thank you officer I go to the living room to find that apparently daughter wasn't invited over to C's house and had a fullblown tantrum stepson being the Practical guy he is tosses her over his shoulder and brings her home Kicking and Screaming completely oblivious to the

concerned neighbor filming it all the cops had been combing the neighborhood looking For my kids officer gets to my door younger steps on answers cop says have you seen these two and shows him phone without missing a beat the younger says uh it's for you and walks away older stepson freezes doesn't know what to do or say cue husband to the rescue daugh gets a lecture police officer leaves laughing and shaking his head this is the second time that year that the police came looking for my daughter the suspected kidnap a victim thankfully she Hasn't

done anything to get attention again yeah fair enough from the neighbor to be honest definitely something that you would stop and look at and be like should I tell someone story 12 I wasn't a cop but I was in EMT for about 8 years in a decent sized city with a penchant for violent crime we got a call for a guy that had been assaulted with a hammer apparently a local rambunctious 12-year-old threw it at him and hit him on the toe before scampering off down an Alley my partner had recently found out I can

do a pretty mean Christopher Walkin he bet me $20 I couldn't do the entire call in his voice radio traffic included I looked him dead in the eye picked up the mic and gave him my answer medic 14 on Route partner loses it I had to wait for him to step out of the cab before calling the arrival so it didn't sound like he just plain lost his mind 14 A dispatch we're here at the scene dispatch clearly confused uh yeah on Scene at 1837 I had to give my partner a minute to compose himself

before going inside once he was ready in we went now overall the guy had no reason to call an ambulance for this he didn't have a mark on him no discoloration or deformity or bleeding he even said his toe doesn't hurt but there we were so I had no problem going full walking on him so I hear your toe hurts got hit with a hammer a miscreant no doubt threw it at your foot bang right on the pinky to It's a shame partner buries his face in the med bag pretending to look for something by

now the patient knows something is up but he has no idea what he keeps looking at my partner who is having a bad time of keeping even a remotely straight face then he comes back to me completely dead pan they'll catch him I'm sure this degenerate soon in the meantime my man what do we do about your toe surely surgery is unlikely patient with an unsure smile on His face uh I know man uh you said surgery you think they're going to cut on it partner sounds like he's dry heaving into the bag now refusing

to make eye contact with me or even look in the direction of the unfolding mess patient looks at him then back at me puzzled you misunderstand my good man you see I don't think it's an option for you there's nothing to be done no bruise no marks no broken bones there's no need for medical attention as it were you're Fine uh uh yeah man that's cool you know I was just checking to see you know better safe than sorry I get it I do but I think you'll be okay here at home an ice pack

might help if you want but you don't have to uh yeah all right then I I just get some ice on it so in short order he signs refusal and we get back to the rig partner is wiping tears from his eyes red in the face still getting the occasional chuckle Rippling through him he says it's the best $20 he's ever Spent dispatch 14 patient refuse transport we're in service with the sound of my partner no longer able to keep it in and laughing quite out loud dispatcher didn't get what was going on but our

supervisor did 14 meet me your quarters oh crap we arrive and he's already there I get out looking as guilty as can be partner can't do it never even steps out of the ambulance oh hey Super's name what's up he stares at me through his driver side window with a Look somewhere between amusement and vague disappointment don't do that anymore and tell that idiot to step out of the truck if he can't keep from laughing and with that he just drives off that was the first and the last ride of Christopher Walkin EMT okay I

got to be honest I don't really know what Christopher Walkin sounds or talks like I've heard like small bits I think before voicing this I had looked up a couple interviews I don't know I don't Think I got the full effect of the story but hey I tried my best story 13 not a police officer but I am an Mt my dumbest would have to be the 19-year-old who believed there was an entire shrimp stuck in her throat before I begin let me say this woman had no history of mental illness no obvious cognitive deficits

and appeared to be unimpaired by drugs or alcohol we're dispatched to a local walk-in clinic for choking arrived to find our patient not only Walking out to meet us but talking too meaning her Airway was unobstructed we get the story from her she was eating some shrimp for dinner the night before and one maybe scratched to the back of her throat in her mind the only possible conclusion was this scratchy feeling must be an entire shrimp stuck in her throat when asked to describe the feeling all she could offer up was it's stuck between the

bones and if you do an x-ray on me here you can see it when Informed by my partner after much convincing that we could not in fact perform an x-ray inside of the ambulance and remove said shrimp she settled on a ride out to the hospital to have one done but not just any hospital this woman insisted we bypass three closer more appropriate facilities for the trauma center my partner and I agreed having just come from there and knowing they were absolutely slammed that morning and most likely out of beds we Transport arrive and are

sent to triage post haste all the while miss imaginary shrimp complains and moans about having come to the ER via ambulance yet still getting stuck in the waiting room with a minimum 3-hour wait time story 14 I went to a disturbance in a house once the guy I was working with and I get there and there are two old women in the front room we didn't get any answer so we just walked in the one who lives there greets me as Peter I tell her I'm not Peter but She insists she says yes you are

Peter I want this female dog out of my house Peter gesturing at the other woman who I think was named Alice Alice is this little short fat old woman as wide as she is tall she's drunk and she just starts chuckling and telling me to screw off saying she's not leaving and she'll fight me if I try and make her the householder at this point starts ranting shouting Peter at me over and over again demanding I get her out of the house for Some reason all the abuse and demands are coming my way and the

guy I'm working with who was my tutor I was pretty new to the job is just standing by the door creasing up at this there's a noise from upstairs and quite quickly my tutor cop decides to extricate himself from this bickering based on that he Winks at me and tells me to have fun as he leaves this whole time the ranting is going on and I'm trying to form some sort of diplomatic basis to Diffuse this bull crap because the last thing I want to do is arrest some old drunk through this I've managed to

establish Alice who lives across the road and I'm trying to reason with her to just go home I hear a banging from upstairs so I run up expecting to see my tutor fighting someone as I get up I see him speaking with some guy who's about 6'3 and has the build of the honey monster with thick milk bottle bottom glasses hey man what are you doing in my House this is Raymond my tutor calmly tells him we're there because of the women downstairs Raymond repli something like that pair of female dogs has nothing to do

with me all I do is watch police camera action on my video all day every day sure enough this was on in the background by this point I'm shaking my head in be amusement and starting to laugh my tutor gives me a knowing look and we go back downstairs we're getting Alice out and getting on with our lives Or so we thought we walk back into the room and I'm greeted with Peter there you are get this female dog out I've composed myself now I tell her straight up I'm not Peter that's Peter and point

at my tutor oh so he is she responds and she starts shouting at him calling him Peter over and over and I'm cracking up now we're just about to take hold of Alice to remove her and suddenly Raymond bursts into the room squares right up to my tutor faces 6 in away he reaches into His pocket and brings out a bag of sweets hey man do you want a freaking humbug both of us just start laughing out loud at this totally absurd interaction Alice pipes up at this juncture Raymond I only came over here to

sit on your face again our Amusement turns to Horror in an instant Raymond tells the room to screw off and heads back upstairs Peter Peter Peter starts over and over screaming at the top of her voice this is enough we grab Alice Each taking an arm and start to remove her from the house she is remarkably strong for her age laughing as she struggles with us we get to the front door and she says she needs the toilet I tell her to wait till she gets across the street to her house she is not going

she's adamant she starts holding the front door shut and like something out of a 40s slapstick film I'm swatting her arms away to open the door I finally get the door open and then Alice braces Herself in the doorway at this point everything just stops she stops struggling and we sto trying to force her out the door cuz we realize her trousers have just fallen down and she's not wearing any underwear I guess for the ease of sitting on Raymond's face there's a long pause as my tutor and I look at each other this is

interrupted by Alice she begins maniacally laughing and proceeds to start peeing it splashes all over the floor and her trousers she Laughs harder and leans back her urine is arcing out the open front as this is happening the woman with a no name begins ranting and punching me in the back they weren't powerful blows I'm absolutely powerless by this stage both me and my tutor are crying with laughter the nameless one is shouting upstairs Raymond she's peeing we hear Raymond at the top of the stairs say oh you dirty female dog all over my laminate

floor this makes it worse I'm trying to stop From soiling myself with laughter and the other woman is still hitting me and I don't give a crap my tutor is likewise Alice continues for an unnatural amount of time I managed to push the other woman into the living room and shut the door on her we are still crying with laughter but we compose ourselves enough to try and shut the front door Alice won't let us she's well braced now she was also still arcing out the door as I look up I see two bystanders walking

Past in horror I'm mentally picturing what they can see two cops fighting a fat woman who is peeing out a door this does help me Shut the freaking door I'm saying in desperation finally as Alice's flow subsides so does her strength and we get the door shut it took us a couple of minutes to calm down and negotiate her into pulling her trousers up and take her across the road her son opens the door she is calling us bastards the whole way and just staggers in he gives Us a knowing look I felt sorry for

him he had user written all over him and I think I know why having met his mother at a guess I think he saw the arcs of P from across the road we walk away job done the door opens behind us and all I hear is Alice in the sweetest old lady voice I love you boys followed by more maniacal laughter we hear her son dragging her back inside neither of us chanced looking back we drove away stopped the car just down the road and Began laughing again whole thing was bizarre story 15 I'm going

to throw a curveball here not the dumbest call they responded to but their dumbest response to a call I work in a homeless shelter I probably call or speak to police at least every other week over various issues often we have them called out for assaults or other violent behavior and it can take anywhere from 5 minutes to over 4 hours depending on what mood they're in I guess if it's staff or we Don't have control they're pretty fast but otherwise they take an hour or two so we get a lot of neighborhood complaints being

in a residential area and as such an agreement my manager made with the other locals is that if there is a significant disturbance on the street I the night support ring in to report it on a non emergency police number so if we get complaints we can cite the report and wash our hands of any blame I called maybe the second Night after I got this update non-emergency number told them who I was and that there was a lot of noise some sort of shouting I couldn't see who it was or what was going on

but it was about 1:30 a.m. and a Thursday night in 4 minutes I had four squad cars and a police van total nine officers all outside my building all responding to uh hey there's some shouting over here no urgency nothing massive or violent just a generic shouting at a stupid hour I've Never had such impressive response times again sadly story 16 G some Cop Out There is probably thinking m/ my landlord's calls my landlord called the police all the damn time over the dumbest crap you could imagine I left my straightener on one time and

it shut off not long after I left for work and she called the police for that there was garbage in the parking Lotto she called the police she would present the call as a more serious issue like my Ex-boyfriend he's stalking me and he left garbage outside I think it was him or there's a potential fire going on in my apartment upstairs and no one is home she would embellish what she was calling about just to get the attention of the cops then they would show up and go you called about a bag of garbage

she only knew this because she was entering our apartment when we were working and every single time the cop would explain to her she can't just go into the apartment She Would argue all the time and say but it's my unit I own it and they're so young how do I know they won't set the place on fire I'm just doing inspections when she told the cop she's feeling very unstable having us as tenants he told her ma'am I don't think you have ever been stable edit I just remembered this one of her tenants was

handicapped so naturally she used the handicap space in front of the building someone had a visitor who parked in the handicap spot And my landlord saw a car parked there with a handicap sticker that was not her tenant and guess what she did yeah called the police one day she began a campaign of locking out all the tenants and then called the police on us and the cop basically told her to screw off when I finally had enough of her crap I told her I'm breaking my lease and I better get my deposit back I

had a camera in my room and I caught her going through my things I left work went to the police Station and explained my situation they knew who she was and the cop had to help me move my stuff I took her to court and won story 17 kind of fits the theme Here a coworker and his wife adopted a Chinese baby beautiful little girl sharp as a whip one day she accidentally calls a 911 panics and hangs up the operator calls back and the kid now six or seven answers being right next to the

phone operator asks if everything is okay pretty quickly realizes it's a child and Asks to speak to a parent this is where things take a turn little girl says something like mommy's dead and Daddy's downstairs sleeping instant alarms police dispatched immediately along with an ambulance and rescue squad operator is afraid of a murder self unal living having happened and the little girl might be in danger the first officers on scene enter the house to find my cooworker startled and confused on the couch having just been awoken from a Much needed nap after working a late

night they ask about the mom to which my cooworker says something like she's dead tensions escalate further until he explains she died about a year and a half prior of cancer little girl confirms the story yes Mommy is dead she has been for some time now and the confusion is quickly cleared officers and First Responders leave and my coworker cannot possibly get back to sleep Oh I thought this kid was just Panicking and said something they were telling 100% the truth just in a way that might cause confusion particularly to the police the police were

probably relieved but your cooworker probably freaked out a bit especially after saying that his wife was dead to the police who thought he may have ended his wife story 18 not an officer but a dispatcher got a call from someone out of state at about 7:00 a.m. saying that her friend and her husband were FaceTiming the caller and they were being beaten by a stranger in their home multiple officers are responding lights and sirens and when about six or seven officers arrive outside the house they break inside only to find out the friend or her

husband were not being assaulted they had brought home a stranger from a bar the night before and the stranger was banging with the husband and wife they were all drunk so it took several minutes to figure out what was going on The friend had facetimed the out ofate caller to kind of show off how dirty they were being the stranger didn't like that so he got really upset and arguing started but the out ofate caller didn't know what was going on so she assumed they were being robbed or beaten the stranger was getting drunk and

kind of violent and ended up getting tased no one was arrested but the husband was so embarrassed about being a cockled in front of about a dozen other men at this Point that he refused to speak it took way longer than it needed to to figure out what was going on I can understand being embarrassed at this point but also you got officers in your home just just tell them the truth you may never have to interact with them again just say what happened so you can all go your separate ways hopefully not him and

his wife though story 19 I was a police aid for my Community College a few years ago so basically dorm security and I'm the One who called the situation in one night a group of students decided to overcrowd our elevator and thought it would be funny to jump and get it stuck at roughly 1: in the morning so I radio in the situation to the officer on duty the officer on duty lets out this exasperated sigh and was like God damn it all right I'll be there in a few minutes he gets to my desk

in the foyer of the dorm building and I catch him up on the situ ation and show Him the security footage of the elevator he radios the local fire department to come get it unstuck and tells them that it's stuck because of their own stupidity and it's a non-emergency so they take about a good hour getting to us all the while the students walking around the dorm eventually all Gather in the lobby to watch the live security footage of the interior of the elevator basically everyone who wasn't stuck in that elevator was in the lobby

watching The feed as an aside three of the girls stuck in the elevator took their tops off because it was getting stuffy in the elevator so everyone in the building got a free show they tried to complain about this later but it wasn't against the rules for others to watch my security feed so my hands were clean cut to when the fire department gets here and they're all freed they are promptly chewed out by the officer on duty they were all reprimanded and had to pay Damages to the elevator story 20 UK police officer this

was about 8 years ago on a night shift at about 2: a.m. so I actually had some time on my hands I went into the Rad's office and looked through the 999 calls that we wouldn't be sending someone to I saw one from a man reporting a ghost in his house house so that was throwing objects around his living room I told the RADS I'm going to that one and went along sure enough the guy starts telling me about how his House is haunted by his dead grandmother's spirit and because he was going to sell

the house she had started haunting him as a fan of early Supernatural I did the whole Sam slan thing of walking around asking if he found any cold spots did the lights flicker did he use salt to protect himself I wandered around his house for 5 minutes asking him these different questions whilst making notes of course he says that the objects had stopped Being thrown across the room when I arrived and there were no signs of what he described I believe ghosts could exist but this was clearly not a ghostly encounter he was drunk and

seemed to completely believe what he was saying I gave him contact details of a friend telling him to call for my friend in the morning as he was The Exorcist that the police used I think my visit helped him he was obviously lonely and in a bad place emotionally at least I gave him Someone to talk to and listen to him story 21 just finished up dealing with a drunk men harassing people on a public shock that has a nice restaurant nearby this middle-aged couple has been watching nearby and I think they're just enjoying seeing

their tax dollars at work they look pretty well off from the way they were dressed the couple comes up to me after I'm done with the members of The Malt Liquor Club and I can tell they're not from the area I think They're going to ask for directions or something but I'm wrong the couple directs my attention to what appears to be a very large sea lion that is floating in the surface of the water it's about 100 yard offshore the sea lion isn't moving and the couple tells me they're concerned about it I ask

them why and they tell me they think the sea lion needs help I give a little laugh because I think they're messing with me and they go from0 to 60 in a Flash they Ask me if I think it's funny that the sea lion could be in need of help they ask me what I'm going to do they demand I do something because that's what I'm there for and they quote pay my salary I ask them what they would like me to do they tell me to go out there and help it I point to

my police car and tell them that's what I have to work with they then go off on how lazy I am because I can't find a way to help the sea lion other people are walking by and get These amazed looks on their faces because of how animated and emotional this couple is getting I want to tell them to move along but I pull out my cell phone and call one of the local federal law enforcement agents I know that deals with fish Sea liines and the protection of all aquatic things I'm trying to be

professional about this and not get a complaint from the couple I explain to Federal Officer the situation and the concerns of the couple that Brought it to my attention he starts to laugh and asks me if I'm joking I tell him I'm not and he asks me what they want me to do do they want me to go out to the Sea line and offer assistance I tell him yes that is what they suggested the Federal Officer still thinks I might be joking I ask him if the sea lion were dead or dying what would

or could be done in the situation he laughs and tells me nothing it's the circle of life and that I should tell whoever made such A stupid request to move along I didn't have to though because the phone was on speaker I get loving ocean Critters or Critters of any kind absolutely absolutely I would feel terrible if I thought a sea line or something else were distressed in the water however I also understand that a police officer with a car probably can't make it out there and help it because you know what let's just say

the police officer swam out there heroically what now I don't Think they train them on first aid for sea lions story 22 not a cop but I was working in a gas station Subway in a small town our location was at the intersection of the highway through town and a rail line that went through the town the side of the railroad that the store was on was the nicer part of town with hoboville being on the other side the police would hang out around the store pretty much constantly they even had a Key so they

could come in and use the bathroom at night I showed up one morning to open the store it's about 6:00 a.m. and there are three empty cop cars behind the store all empty I let myself in the back door there are about five cops plus the owner of the gas station all staring out the window the lights are still off and the gas station is closed once they notice me come in they shush me and motion for me to come over there are two hobos running back And forth from their truck parked on the far

side of the parking lot they're going to a small building by the railroad crossing one of those c-shaped buildings with a roof overhead guard shack looking thing anyhow from the highway SL railroad it looks like a regular building but the completely open back of this building faces the store and these two Geniuses are trying to build a drug lab in it in full view of the store with half of the town's police Force watching we must have sat there watching these guys guys build it for over an hour until a trucker showed up trying to

get gas and the owner opened the station after that the cops all went out the back door got in their cars and arrested the two guys and towed their truck story 23 I think I made such a call once smelled smoke in my apartment one night but in my kitchen everything was all right opened the door I lived in a six-story building and it smelled even Stronger ran around in the hallway and tried to figure out where it was coming from but none of my neighbors were home I feared that somewhere a small fire were

building so I called one 122 better safe than sorry right police showed up 1 and a half minutes later about 2 minutes after my call they were already discussing with a young lady on the ground floor how she managed to burn her veggies so bad that a guy living four floors up called the emergency line Apparently I just have a good nose and was talking a bit too much about house fires with my friends since I was the only one who noticed I don't know who felt more Awkward me or her when I went back

into my apartment to get my ID I saw the whole street lit with emergency lights of the police and fire department enough to illuminate my flat in a nice blue color at least I feel protected now thank you guys for getting up at night for people like me I don't think op is Even in the wrong here if they truly believed a fire could be starting like there was a strong smell of smoke and none of your neighbors were home yeah calling seems like the right thing to do doesn't it but hey maybe I'm wrong

too story 24 when I first started as a dispatcher we got a call from this woman who was very upset she explained she just flew across the country and when she boarded a plane on the west coast she she had a mole above her belly Button when she got off the plane the mole was gone so I asked her what can we do to help she said she wanted us to send an officer to the West Coast she wants them to go over all of the archived footage from the cell phone towers and spy satellites

and find out what happened to her mole I was a fairly new dispatcher at the time and obviously was taken about by this request I calmly explained the city was outside of our jurisdiction and she would have to Contact an agency West to conduct the search she was satisfied with my response thanked me and hung up it turned out she's what we refer to as a frequent flyer and called all the time when she went off her meds Story 25 not a story from a cop but about cops being called on me during my last

year of high school my friends and I would volunteer at the local elementary school after volunteering we would usually go play basketball or video games but one Wednesday in particular I said I couldn't because I had to go home and get started on my mountain of classwork my group of four to five friends were driving parallel to me repeatedly asking if I was really going to quote female dog out on them following 5 minutes of back and forth insults my friends parked the car a few feet ahead of me all jumped out of the car

and proceeded to pick me up by my arms and legs with the trunk of the car open they tossed me in And started driving down the hill again what they didn't know was that another car had been driving down the hill at the same time and had seen the whole thing they thought I'd been kidnapped which was very logical to assume given being kidnapped unbeknownst to my friends this heroic couple tailed our car and got the license plate number when we reached the bottom of the hill my friends SL kidnappers let me out I yelled

at them we laughed it off and Walked to McDonald's looking out the McDonald's window a block away we could see two cop cars driving around the area we had just left at the time we didn't think much of it I went home later that night and was working on my homework when I heard a knock on the door my mom opened the door and I heard her talk to someone and then call for me there was a San Francisco detective at my front door checking to make sure I had not actually been kidnapped I profusely

apologized For wasting his time probably the first time a kidnapping victim apologized to the people looking for them and he made me promise to wear a seat belt in the future this happened 5 years ago but till this day my friends still call me trunk boy story 26 not a cop I work as a wildlife biologist at a very busy State Park so I interact with our Rangers and local dispatch a lot I've dealt with quite a few odd Wildlife related calls one night at about 10: p.m. I got called Out to assist one of

the Rangers with a wildlife issue no info on what she needed help with she just told me to bring the biggest animal carrier I could find we sometimes have to deal with 300 plus pound sea lions which is always super sketchy so I had no idea what the hell I was about to get myself into when my cooworker and I get there we find the ranger holding her baton squaring off with a rather mad looking Canadian goose it obviously wasn't injured so we didn't Really want to catch it since the rehab facility wouldn't be too

pleased with us delivering a mad not injured Goose but if we left it where it was it would probably get run over we stood around for a bit dodging Goose bites before my buddy had the idea to just Chase it off the beach into the dunes so that's what we did just after we'd successfully rid the beach of the offending Goose the local game won rolls up looking for it apparently he'd been chasing this Goose All over the county it was clearly used to people probably an escaped quote pet and kept showing up in the

middle of town he'd captured it a few times and relocated it to a lake outside of town where it could be with its Goose from but no it would rather be with people and it kept coming back I left a note for the day shift to keep an eye out for it and called it a night thought that was it I was wrong when I got in the next afternoon I found out the goose had Come back my co-workers decided enough was enough they tackled it and shoved it into one of our large animal crates

they put it in a shed we used to keep rescue to birds in and called The Game Warden to come deal with it I was just walking into the office when The Warden pulled up so I offered to help him load the goose up into his truck we joked about the previous night and how much of a pain in the butt this bird was got to the shed and opened the door no Goose The crate and Goose were gone I called around to try and find out who took it but no one seemed to know

can't say the warden was too upset but I still wonder what became of that goose really there's no security footage or anything I find that hard to believe also you deal with sea liines I know a couple from a few stories back that could really use your help man you should get over there story 27 not a cop any 911 call placed by my husband soon to be ex-husband and it's Not just the calls themselves it's the number of them he's one of those people who will call a dozen times trying to get a fast

response even though nothing has changed the best one by far at least for me was him calling the cops to quote get these cops off my property yep he called the police wanting to say that I assaulted him domestic violence he punched me so hard in the stomach that I threw up on him and then he called the police on me for assaulting him with a Bottle fluids Good Times by the time the police showed up for that call he couldn't remember calling them so he called the State Police non-emergency line over and over trying

to get them to send someone to get the cops off the property you know the ones he called for then he tried calling the city police back and having the call canceled but they were already on the property he had alleged an assault and he obviously wasn't mentally stable so they couldn't Clear the call until they had spoken to both of us and he refused to even tell them his name so they couldn't leave until they tested at his competency by the end of it we had two state officers three City officers two Medics and

a doctor that was on a ride along with them all standing in my living room unsure of how to proceed solution ended up being to remove him from the situation for a psyche Val story 28 how about something I myself radioed in a Dispatch I used to work for my campus police department as a student assistant on this particular day I was working loss prevention which is a fancy way of saying I had to drive around campus and lock up doors with adjust bags and bags full of keys and and key rings so I'm out

loocking a building I come back to my car and well when your whole job is keeping track of keys and the keys you need to get in your car are locked inside of the car well you know so I was Given a radio but never fully trained on how to use it like I never had to memorize the police alpha numeric code and only knew the three or four codes I used on a regular basis I also panicked and didn't think to ask the dispatcher to go to a private channel so here I am a

college student essentially telling the entire police department williiam 22 William 22 go ahead can you send a PSO to location X and Y hoping she wouldn't ask why for what purpose do you need a PSO um I locked my keys in the car 104 Baker 22 Baker 22 go ahead please report to X and Y you get the idea in that brief moment of silence I could hear the entire PD laughing and shaking their heads at the same time when the officer came he said when you work this Beat hit me up with my handle

ask me to switch to a private line and then just tell me which I did have to do one other time story 30 not a cop but my dad was retied one story really sticks out he gets a Call from dispatch letting him know there was a robbery at the local grocery store no suspect description but the victim was waiting for an officer by his car and gave the car description he responds and starts talking to the guy apparently he had just been paid and had about 2k cash in his trunk when he went into

the store he came back out and it was gone my dad asked the guy to open the trunk so he could could confirm it wasn't there and get the investigation Going the guy then got really antsy not wanting to open his trunk my dad let him know that he couldn't do much without confirming it was gone or stolen so the guy asked for Assurance so you're just going to be looking to see if the money's gone nothing else right yeah I just need to make sure that it's actually gone and didn't slide around or get

tucked under the carpet or something after some conversation the guy agrees to open his trunk just so he can confirm The money isn't there he opens his trunk and there is Brick after brick of coke largest bust this small rural Town had seen as my dad was arresting him he was adamant that he couldn't because you're just making sure the money's gone it's not there see which while that was true you can't just ignore a crap ton of coke as an officer after getting the grocery store to turn over surveillance camera footage turns out the

guy had a few meetups in the parking lot selling his Product and one of these customers noticed the pile of cash in the trunk so he grabbed the money and his Coke and left prompting the dealer to call the cops I feel like as the dude you just got to like take the L on this one right surely you have to know that that's going to happen you cannot show an officer of the law a trunk full of an illegal substance this is the same logic as you have to tell me if you're a cop

you can't lie story 31 a few years ago I Was outside shoveling snow with my toddler aged son he was mimicking me using a spatula as a a shovel all of a sudden two cop cars pull up in front of the house Sirens blaring officer pops out of the lead car hand on her weapon stares at me for what was probably 2 seconds but it felt like an hour then starts laughing hysterically while this was happening my boy scared had inched up behind me and was holding on to my pant leg peeking around my thigh

at the Police cars I put my hands up and asked what's the trouble or something similarly innocuous the other officer pops out of his car looks confusedly at the first cop mutters something under his breath gets back in his car and leaves the first cop waves to him as he passes still giggling then asks if I live in this particular house I reply yes and she asks to see an ID to prove it I pull out my license she asks if the child is my son and I once again say yes She responds by Rolling

her eyes giggling some more and then telling me with a huge smile on her face why they had been called someone had reported a quote dangerous vagrant attempting to harm a small child with a a no shovel and possibly abducted the child in broad daylight now at the time I had a very long beard and was wearing a colorfully mismatched outfit as it was a hungover Sunday morning and I was more concerned about being warm than how I looked but I Wouldn't have classified myself as appearing vagrant esque that particular officer and I now wave

when we see each other story 32 my mom came home one day and heard a faint rustling upstairs she figured the cat was playing with something and to let it go she got on the phone with a friend chatted for a few minutes and then then starts hearing Bang Bang Bang from upstairs so she starts calling the cat and lo and behold he was on the first floor the whole time Meanwhile bang bang bang so she says to the friend I think someone's in my house the friend calls 911 while my mom runs outside and

a panic outside she sees a beat up car slowing down as it goes past then speeding up it's the getaway car she realizes but she can't see the plate so the cops are there within minutes as is her concerned friend who lived a couple of blocks away the police go inside and search room to room even bringing her back in to help them check In closets Etc some of the rooms do look pretty messy like they've been tossed but no burglar are found so the cops take a report but aren't sure my mother's friend wanders

into the upstairs home office and notices three things one there's paper all over the floor two the fax machine is blinking three there's no paper in the fax machine turns out someone sent a long fax while Mom was out the rustling was paper running through the feeder the Bang bang bang was the fax machine out of paper and trying to still print the beat up car was lost and trying to read our mailbox number the tossed rooms were just messy my mom was pretty embarrassed she called the 911 on a fax machine and lost tourists

story 33 so this is a story about me making a stupid call to the police One Night in the 1980s my wife and I were laying in bed reading we see a light flashing outside and and decide to investigate we peek out the Front window and see the porch light across the street flashing on and off in three flash bursts we have no idea what's going on so we call 911 we think maybe the elderly couple is in trouble we imagine they're being held hostage and the only thing they can do is Flash the light

for help terrified we crouch on the sofa and wait the cops arrive I step onto my front porch and watch as they wrap on the neighbor's door by now the flashing had stopped and my wife and I had conjured up all sorts of horrible things that might have happened the old guy answers the door I hear the muffled sounds of an officer telling him why he is there suddenly the heart of hearing neighbor says it was a skunk I was trying to scare it off with the light I suddenly feel about 1 in tall the

two cops are desperately trying to hold back what I can only assume are gales of laughter the cop comes to me on my porch and I'm apologizing over and over he Says no don't apologize we appreciate when neighbors take care of each other like that we are happy to come out I shrunk back into my house and avoided eye contact with that neighbor for about a week story 34 I feel sorry for the cop that was sent to my house I moved away to Southern California for college and stayed with my grandmother my grandfather was

a pilot and did well for himself and had luck in the markets so they lived pretty well he died years Prior and when my grandmother heard I was accepted to a school nearby she was elated telling me to live with her instead of a dorm about once a month I drove to my parents house some 400 mil away to visit them and old friends because of traffic I always drive late at night and this evening I rolled in at 1:00 a.m. so I'm unpacking my car which is a POS 1996 Ultima my immediate family is

not as well off and moving my belongings up into my room I was hungry And I went downstairs and made myself a frozen pizza watched some TV waiting for it to be done and there's a knock at the door it's now 2 a.m. and I get worried I've known her neighbors since birth I have many family videos of myself at around 2 years old and all her neighbors holding me and playing with me so I assume maybe one of them had passed since we're all so close in it I opened the door and an officer

was standing there he told me a neighbor had reported A party at my house with underaged people I kindly invited him in and let him tour the place after a thorough investigation he concluded it was a bunk call he apologized and started to head out I asked him why he was sent and he said our neighbors across from us saw a car that didn't belong arrive very late and unload bags of stuff they assumed was alcohol inside moral of my story don't drive a crappy car in a nice neighborhood or you might waste an Officer's

time story 35 now you could argue this is either the dumbest call or easiest arrest I was working night in my local town I had to take a statement off of one of the door staff of a nightclub there he'd been assaulted earlier that night by a member of the public high on coke while taking this statement another dman came up to me and said that anop had just approached him who seemed off his face on what he thinks is drugs I'm thinking sure this is Town late on a Friday night people are going to

be wasted I don't have the grounds to search this guy the doorman then tells me he had white powder on his nose and all down his shirt I mean some people might enjoy a sherbet Fountain I'm not sure if you Yanks get those sweets on a night well I head outside to see if I could find the guy loan behold this guy stumbling down the street I quickly catch up to him and find the door staff wasn't lying this guy had white powder All on his nose and his shirt he even has a little white

powder stash I tell him I'm detaining him for a search and the grounds the object je to my search the powers I'm using all that jazz he's happy with all this as he is completely out of his mind and doesn't care I ask him has he taken anything and he tells me yeah I ask him if he has anything on him and he says no find nothing until I get to his wallet where I find some used wraps of white powder and a small Half-used wrap he gets nicked I get my first arrest he gets

a caution and some drugs off the street win for all unfortunately I find from then on they aren't all that easy story 36 when I was about 14 I was longboarding with my brother around our subdivision at around 11: at night I ended up crashing and breaking my wrist and I had ashalt all through my hands and blood everywhere so I go to the first house I see with the lights on and a knock on the door hoping I could just wash out my hands so no infections would occur no one answers so I go

to the next house and the girl lets me in and I wash up and start to head home a cop pulls up and flashes his lights at me me and my brother stop he gets out and asks us what we're doing and he looks at the skateboard and bike and we say we were skating and I wiped out and I showed him my hands he said ouch that sucks man but we got a call about suspicious behavior and me and my Brother look at each other kind of confused at about that time a truck pulls

in the entrance to the subdivision flying going about 60 M an hour he comes to a stop next to the cop car A man gets out and walks right up to me and gets within 5 in of my face he yells at me about scaring his wife and stuff at that point I'm confused and I'm almost in tears the cop grabs the dude and says you better calm down and walk back to your truck the dude is furious yelling At the cop now about how we were banging on the door and scaring his wife so

flash back to the first house I knocked on I guess we scared the woman and she called her husband at work and the cops it's about 12 at night now the cops end up searching the dude's home and at about that time my dad pulls up he gets out of the car screaming at us asking what the hell did we do wrong and that's when I break down because my dad doesn't even ask what happened he just starts Screaming at us and demanding to know what we did the cop calms down my dad while I'm

on the ground crying with a broken arm still bleeding at this point I've lost so much blood I start to get dizzy the dude yelling at us got my heart pumping so fast the cop looks at my dad and says we did nothing wrong and my dad looks at the cop and finally asks what happened he tells him the story my dad finally looks at us and says I'm glad you're not hurt that's about the Time I fall over on the ground and pass out I wake up back at my house with my arm bandaged

and some ice cream next to me I got to the hospital the next day and get a cast that I wear for 6 weeks never heard from the dude or his wife again but I guess the cop went over there and had a talk with them so that satisfied me story 37 I'm not an officer but I work retail at Ross Dress for Less a discount store that sells mostly clothes shoes and accessories as well as HomeGoods we have a specific return policy that states if you don't have your receipt you can still return the

item but you get store credit and only the amount that is the current markdown price usually only goes down a dollar or a few within a couple of months but if it's been a long while the price it's marked down to could be as low as 49 one day this guy comes in to return a single pair of boys jeans because they didn't fit his son I look up the price on the Computer and it's listed as well 49 he doesn't like it and we go back and forth I show him the back of the

receipt stating our return policy and the separate placard that states the exact same thing eventually he states that we're swindling him and are breaking the law then calls the cops naturally he refuses to step aside while he waits to let me help anyone else and the line backs up even with additional cashiers it was a Saturday during peak hours About 15 minutes go by and the cop clearly annoyed and already not taking the situation seriously comes up and asks the guy if he was the one who placed the call he says yes and the cop

turns to me and asks what happened so I go through the whole rigar of our return policy and process then what went down with the customer the cop asks to see the placard and I hand it to him he spends all of 3 seconds looking at it before he places it in front of the Customer and says he's uh following the return policy that's how it is the customer suddenly sweet as pie says okay he'll take the store credit and he profusely thanks the officer for his time cop doesn't say anything to the guy but

wishes me a better day then leaves later the customer waited patiently in line and when I got him again he acted like I was his best friend I don't know if I respect this more or less than doubling down cuz like doubling down That's being confidently wrong which is pretty bad but this is like acting it never happened or maybe they just thought they weren't even really being that mean to op like they didn't realize in which case I guess it makes a bit of sense but weird story 38 not a police officer but I

was on the receiving end of a pretty dumb police encounter a couple important details my wife is allergic to pot it's to a point where she'll start sneezing up a storm before I can even smell it and by the time I can smell it her throat starts closing up this was in Colorado shortly before it was legalized a few years back my then girlfriend now wife and I were leaving a pool hall and headed home while waiting at a red light shortly after leaving I realized I hadn't turned my headlights on because the road was

well lit and well I'm an idiot I turned the lights on and as Fortune would have it it was the exact moment a cop went Through the intersection in front of us so they got a sudden blast of light right in their peripheral they immediately turn on their lights and cut through a gas station parking lot as at the corner to circle around behind us they pulled us over the moment the light went green for the most part it was a pretty standard interaction asking if I'd been drinking looking over my license and such it's

not looking good and I'm pretty sure based on his Demeanor that he's looking for any excuse he can to ticket me when a second Cruiser stops behind them and it's a driver comes up to the passenger side and knocks on the window my wife rolls down the window and starts talking to him and seconds later starts sneezing like mad the cop on my side asks if she's okay so I reply someone nearby must be smoking pot because she's allergic to it the two exchange a glance over the top of my car and cop one Immediately

hands back my license tells us to drive safe and they both half walk half jog back to their cars and leave I'm 90% sure we caught them smoking on duty allergic to pot huh I've never heard of it before but I guess yeah why wouldn't it be possible at the very least the chances can't be too high right story 39 we've been informed by our supervisor that there's been some kind of happening requiring police's attention near our Current location we asked for more details but supervisor responded that explanations weren't clear so we should be ready

to update him and call for reinforcements or emergency services at any moment we finally got to a little church it was crowded with people in their formal dresses looked like a wedding we went in and asked some random people who called us they didn't know but they told us to go to the bride's home because the family lives here and They usually usually know stuff about what's going on in the area okay so we went to the bride's family's house shaken woman greets us at the door and she let us on the floor she refused

to explain what happened until she showed us the door of one of the rooms turned out the bride panicked closed herself in the bedroom and refused to go to the wedding her bridesmaid mother and some aunts didn't know what they should do to avoid the Scandal so they called the Police lied and then asked us to force the doors we imposed a fine and left but we kind of stuck around to watch the drama story 40 I'm not a cop but hey probably worthy of how close it came to being a police issue way back

in the days of dialup I made a startling discovery that would change my life forever that Discovery was breasts they were everywhere and all available for free on the internet the problem is having a 28.8 kilobit pers second modom Images containing them took a very long time to load and when the only computer located at home was my dad's finance and work machine in the lounge room and ALT tabbing took several seconds you had to be exceedingly careful about not getting caught thank God for creaky staircases well I had already learned from a previous punishment

to clear my search history after looking stuff up but unfortunately my dad eventually grew suspicious as all parents do of my Silence when downstairs and the sudden lack of color ink in the printer industrious as I was I printed every image I found particularly interesting for later perusal one day he puts his plan into action and climbed down the stairs whilst avoiding the creaky ones now being 12 I wasn't interested in women twice my age and had made the mistake of typing in a dangerous search term anyone familiar with Google sorting algorithm will be familiar

with the fact It won't show you illegal material but my dad wasn't to his mind he'd just turned the corner and busted me looking up illegal content using a computer registered in his name with an interet Connection in his name and subsequently using his printer to print copies of the same oh he was Furious he literally dragged me into his car yelling the whole way and drove me to the nearest police station I begged I pleaded I balled my eyes out to ask him to not Turn me in and have me arrested as a 12-year-old

internet Predator but he wasn't having any of it finally we pulled into the car park next to the main entrance of the cop shop and he turned to me and told me to swear on my continued Liberty that I would never use the phrase teen in a search bar ever again and that I was banned from using the computer for a month naturally I agreed until about 6 weeks later when some mates of mine from school Discovered adult content and proceeded to share their Trove of legal content with the rest of the guys in class

I subsequently realized my dad didn't have the slightest clue about internet adult content and that he was in no uncertain terms full of crap still nothing going to scare kids straight faster than throwing them to the mercy of the police story 41 not a cop but watched this go down about a year ago I don't have too many law enforcement interactions Thankfully so this one brandished my favorite line from an Leo backstory duplex across the street a shared mailbox post in the middle and the two driveways are on opposite sides of the property both groups

of residents of the duplex are kind of sketch so there's always cars on the road more often than not there's a car or cars either entirely blocking the mailboxes or at least parked to be a major inconvenience to access of the mail post our mailers Is awesome you all are you folks put up with so much crap from people and goes out of her way most of the time to deliver mail if she can but sometimes it's physically impossible for her to access the mailboxes the night I'm listening to a new to me Explosions in

the Sky album I got recently I was grading papers or messing with an aquarium I start to hear a faint conversation while Not always completely instrumental EIT rarely has many vocals And I hadn't remembered any from the first to listen so I got attentive then I realized the conversation was outside and it's accompanied by two squad cars sneaking a peek through the curtains yeah so what I watched the following go down so what's going on exactly they keep blocking the mailbox and I can't get my mail note there are currently no cars blocking the mailbox

and the Leos quickly noticed this who's doing what I can't get my mail because they've always Got cars blocking the mailbox they're blocking the mailbox who my neighbors they've always got people over and they're always parking in front of my mailbox and I can't get my mail because of it so you called the cops yeah that's not really a police matter that's more of a neighbor matter you should talk to your neighbor I have she tried to run me over with her car last time I yelled at her she tried to run you over yeah

well that's vehicle assault so that's Something we can do something about would you like to make a state statement will I have to go to court and crap to deal with this yes you eventually will since we didn't see anything you'll have to be the one to explain what happened to a judge I don't have time for that crap who has time for that crap can't you just write her a ticket if you'd like us to charge her with vehicular assault you'll have to explain that what would you like us to write a ticket for

If you aren't willing to go in and explain this to a judge hell I don't know she's just being rude as hell h i see we're the police we don't exactly do rude now if you'd like to write a report for vehicular assault that's something we can do I can't write her a ticket for being rude that's something you just have to deal with on your own now if there's nothing else you'd like us to do we're going to have to be on our way they yell a couple of expletives at the Cops turn around

and slam the door as they go back inside story 42 myo and I were coming back from taking the dog for a walk and as we we start to approach our Brick House I noticed a black thing above our door it kind of looked like a cable I asked him if that had always been there and neither of us could remember as we got closer we finally realized it was a snake crawling up the brick of the house following the pattern of spaces between the bricks we really Didn't know what to do as there isn't

an animal control where we live and we just so happened to live across the street from the police department I walked across the street and used the Inc by the door to explain the situation they keep their door locked at all times so people have to be buzzed in about 10 minutes later two cops show up one immediately leaves apparently he doesn't apprehend a snakes another Duo walk up but aren't sure what to do they Eventually take my garden hoe and stand on a chair under the door due to the porch steps there was no

way to approach it from an angle and just kind of toss the garden ho at it no dice so the city inspector shows up and even though he's quite a bit taller than the other guys they still can't get the snake down finally someone goes to borrow a of wasp spray and uses that to get it down things did not end well for that snake I have another instance where I actually Called the 911 for what ended up being a stupid reason I had left my living room windows open for a breeze and we woke

up in the middle of the night to The Sound of Music in our house it was sudden and very loud I immediately call 911 while my husband walks through the house with a baseball bat once we get into the living room and I'm on the phone with a dispatch we realize the music is coming from the sheriff's state that's a diagonal from our house a group Of guys mostly cops were outside blaring music and made me think I had a creepy horror movie Vibe murderer in my house I explained the mistake but the music stopped

very soon afterward story 43 not a cop but I had the cops called on me for a dumb reason and his response was hilarious I had just gotten a new pellet gun really low powerered thing to shoot plastic pellets at the raccoon that kept trying to break into our kitchen wouldn't have ended it just stung real Bad and hopefully discouraged him anyway I was adjusting the sights and using a can in the backyard as target practice my yard at the time backed up to a heavily wooded area with nothing beyond for a good mile so

the odds of hitting anyone with this little plastic pellet basically zero after I'm done two cop cars come speeding up to my house lights and Sirens going off One Cop jumps out saying they got a report that someone was shooting a high power hunting rifle At the neighbor's house after showing the officer the rifle and explaining it was the closest thing to firearm in the house the cop laughed and said wow okay your neighbors are idiots I'll go tell them not to waste our time with this stuff anymore then went and had a long awkward

talk with the neighbor about filing false reports I wonder what Opie's neighbors heard to make them think it was a hunting rifle cuz I mean I'm no gun buff but uh that seems like It would be a little louder than a pellet gun if I had to guess a bit of an overreaction anyway that's the last story we have for today I was would like to thank you all so much for watching I hope you have a wonderful day or night wherever you are and I will see you in the next one