1HOUR COMPILATION OF HARDSTOPLUCAS [ 2024-2025]

Will this be all for you today? Oh, yeah. Okay. Your total comes up to 34.67. Here you go. And would you like your receipt? Oh, no. You can keep it. Thanks. Okay. Can I see your receipt, please? Oh, I don't have it. I didn't know I needed it. H funny. But seriously, I need to see a receipt. But no, like seriously, I just bought these. You can ask the cashio. Sir, I need a receipt. And I really need to go. And I really need a receipt. I don't have time for this. Let me through. No,

I can't let you through. Who doesn't get their receipt? Obviously, my dumb ass didn't get a receipt. But then your dumb ass won't pass. Why you calling a dumb? Do we have a problem here? Not at all. I was just about to get my receipt, actually. Um, I'm sorry. Uh, I didn't know I needed a receipt to leave. Can I have my receipt, please? Oh, you want to make a purchase? No, I just need a receipt so I can leave with these pants. Oh, so you want to make a return? You got the receipt? No,

I don't have a receipt. That's the point. I'm trying to leave. So then you can't return them. I'm not trying to return them. Look, I just bought these. Oh, so you bought these. Okay, so where's the receipt? I don't have it. I'm trying to get a receipt. Wait, so did you pay for these? Yes, I was literally just here. Wait, let me see those pants. Wait, why? Let go of my pants, sir. I need to see this. Tell me why. I need to check the pain. Check them for what? Give me the pants. Let's go.

I will not. Why you so strong? Release your grip. Release yours this instant. I'm not playing this game. Damn, they still got the tags on them. You didn't buy these. Hold on. Let me scan these for you. Hey, look. I need to go home. Where's the receipt? Look, I got to go. My mom is waiting outside for me in the car. >> What you doing? I've been waiting out there for like 20 minutes. Go get your ass in the car. It's not my fault. They won't let me leave. Move. >> Receipt. Damn. Wait. You didn't

buy those. >> No, of course I bought them. No. He's trying to rob us. Don't you lie to my mom like that. He's trying to do what? Oh god. Close the door. [Music] Okay, now look. Let's just talk this out. Look, I don't talk if I don't see receipts. But you just spoke though. Shut up. You know that's not going to help you leave, right? Oh my god. Why are you being so difficult? How am I being a difficult I'm doing my job? Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Do you think I'm being difficult? Huh?

What are you talking about? I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. >> I said, "Am I being difficult in your opinion?" >> Wait, are are you talking to me? >> Yes. Yes, I am. I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. Difficult about what? >> So, look, it's my job to check people's receipts to verify if they bought the items that they have, and he's not allowing me to do my job. So, I'm trying to like figure things out here. And he's saying I'm being diff Oh, my bad. You can go on through. I apologize. I hope you have

a nice day. Now, where were we? All right. I was saying that I need a receipt because >> Wait, why didn't you check her receipt? Okay. So, what's up with you? Like, for real, we were talking. You cut us off, and that was kind of rude. Hella rude, actually. Just let me pass. Give him a receipt. >> I need a receipt. Oh my god. Fine. Look, can I please have a receipt for these? >> You trying to buy those? >> No, I just need you. Want to buy those? >> Sure. Let me buy these. Let

me buy these for the very first time ever. >> Ah, wonderful. Your total is 4253. Now, wait a damn minute. It was just $34. That's when they were on sale. They're not anymore. Just give me my receipt. All right. Here you go. I hope you have a nice whatever. [Music] >> Okay, here's the receipt you've been looking for. Finally. Look at Hold up. Hold on. Give me a sec. [Music] Hey, can you help me look around? Like, I mean, since you're up there, I mean, I'm just trying to get by here. I can't really find

my receipt. I just had it. That's weird. >> Do you have your receipt or not? I don't got it all day. [Music] Welcome. How are you today? Amazing. Well, let me know if you need any help. >> Welcome, sir. How are you doing today? >> I'm doing wonderful. Thank you for asking. And you? >> Oh my god, I'm doing so great. Thank you. Serious question. Can I help you find anything today? Thanks, but I'm just going to be looking around. Okay. Well, you know where to find me. I'll be right here. Just let me know

if you need any help. Welcome to the clothing store. How are you today? Are you looking for anything specific? [Music] [Applause] >> I don't know if you heard me back there when I was literally a foot away from your ear canal, but I said it. >> Okay. You on thin ice right now, buddy. Whoa. Do we have a problem here? >> Yes, the hell we do. Come here. >> I'm right here. Oh, okay. Now, why are you yelling at my customer? >> I'm apologizing on his behalf, by the way. >> I am not apologizing. So,

it's not on my behalf, by the way. >> Okay. Why are you acting like this? Cuz this is totally different. She won't let me do my job. Look, you know what I said to her? I said, "Welcome. How are you today? Are you looking for anything specific?" >> Okay. As scripted as you're trained to do. >> Of course. And you know what she said? >> No, cuz I wasn't there. >> Nothing. Absolutely nothing. >> Well, that's rude. Very rude. >> But that still doesn't give you a right to raise your voice to my beautiful customer.

Now, get back to your post. Yes, sir. Go. [Music] Now, like I said, welcome. How are you today? >> I know you noticed me. Give me attention. >> Give me attention. >> I'm right behind you. >> I'm right behind you. look at me. Look at me. Do your job. I'm not playing anything. Get your hands off me. What are you doing? I just wanted you to acknowledge me. Can't you see I'm helping a customer right now? She's not even paying attention to you. Not yet, but I almost had her before you bothered me. Turn around.

Oh my. You failed. I gave you an order. I told you not to yell at my customer. But you are the customer. But you didn't know that this time. >> Maybe I did. >> So you were yelling at me on purpose? >> Yeah, I'm thumped. I don't know what the correct answer is. >> See, that's what I thought. You keep your voice down, sir. I'm just doing what I get paid to do. I know that's false cuz you don't get paid at all. You right. This is your last warning. So, can I ask you a

question? Like a serious one. So, where's the actual customer? Cuz I promise she existed. I wasn't hallucinating. Hey, so where did you get this outfit from? We sell this shirt. Where do you think she got it from? But we don't sell the wig. So, you just had the wig, too. Or how'd that work? Get back to work. Oh, hello. Welcome. How are you today? [Music] All right. So, this is going to be the last problem of the day. And the first person to figure this out gets extra credit points for the day. What is that?

Nobody know what that is. Well, y'all better figure it out. Y'all got 10 minutes. No calculators. Where do we even start with that? They never taught us this. We're only in 12th grade. >> Yo, I'm stressing out, bro. What's 6 * 3? I don't know. Mama, what's 6 * 3? What the hell is that? And while y'all doing that, I'm going to be coming around passing out y'all packets that y'all going to be doing over the break. Wait, what? I thought we were friends. You give us a hard ass question to start off class and

then you give us a packet. I invited you to my birthday party. Do you hate us? Shut up. Y'all really thought it was sweet? Don't act like y'all don't know me now. Y'all really thought y'all was going to have fun in your brain. Y'all funny. Here you go. Oh, you want me to pass these out? No, not at all. I mean, I was doing my work and they're kind of in my way. I mean, I can pass these out, no problem. No, that's yours. Yeah, mine to pass out. I got you. No, Kevin, that one

is just for you. >> Yeah, the one on top is mine. >> That whole thing is yours to take home. >> No, I understand. I heard you the first time. I'm going to take mine off top. There is the one on top. The whole thing is one. >> Yeah, it's fine. I'm just going to take mine off top and pass out the rest. >> There's nothing to pass out. I have the rest right here. Wait, then what's all of this? It's yours. It's one packet. That's what I've been telling you. Here you go. >> I'm

not playing these games. >> Oh, you're taking this package. Huh? Hold up. Hold this. What you want to do? What you want to do? [Music] How dare you? God damn. Yo, my legs. My legs. Ah. [Music] Go get your damn homework. [Music] Get it. >> Thanks for the call, Mr. Patrick. >> No, thank you for coming. I knew he was going to try something. >> It's a shame I had to come down here like this. >> Oh, wait. What is this for? >> It's paper. It's for your 400page essay. The requirements is on the back

of the packet. It must be typed. Hope you have a great break though. >> Now bring your ass on here. Had me come up in this damn class making a fool of my damn self. You know y'all could have helped, right? All right, let me pass out the rest of these packets. Um, all right. Here you go. You know, if we have to do all of this during our break, you'll be the one grading about 20 of these afterwards. How you feel about that? Do you think you have the patience and the time to grade

20 of these after we come back for break? Take your time and think on that. Wait. >> Leave the packets on the desk. No homework. >> Yes. >> Someone contact Kevin and tell him the same thing. >> Where the hell is Kevin? All [Music] right, let's start right back off where we left, shall we? No one got this last time, so we going to get it now. >> All right, so who wants to get the ball rolling on this one? Um, just because it's the first day back at the break doesn't give you an excuse

to be 10 minutes late to my class, Kevin. Huh? Oh, sorry about that. Uh, yeah, I was I was up all night trying to finish this packet that you gave us. Really? You just come up in here with some dumb excuse. What packet? I don't even know what you're talking about. You know the packet that you gave us on the last day of class? The essay was the thing that was keeping me up most of the week. Oh, that packet. Oh, no. I took those back. You didn't have no homework for me. I told your

classmates to contact you. What? See, I told you to text Kevin. Who the hell is Kevin? [Music] Where you think you going? Upstairs. >> Why? Why not? You got dishes. >> I already did them. >> I didn't see you do them. >> What does that mean? >> It means you didn't do them. >> What did you do? >> No. What didn't you do? These dishes. Now do them. I'm not playing these games. I already told you I did them. Doesn't look like it. Look. If I do them again, you're going to have to watch me.

Oh, I'm looking. This eye contact. [Music] Done. What are you doing? Huh? Do those damn dishes. I just finished them. You lied to me. How are you doing this? I don't know what you're talking about. I just I just want to be done with this. Well, if you stop playing around and do them, then we wouldn't have this problem, would we? You just got to watch me. Watch me. That's it. Look at me. Look at me. I'm focused. I'm not going nowhere. Then where are you going? What? Like, how is your attention span this bad?

>> Just shut up. I'm here. I'm watching. Like, really? Like, you're good. Do it. >> All right. Done. Now, what are you looking at? Why are you so nosy? Teresa, what'd you call me? >> Mom, >> why haven't you washed those dishes? >> No. No. I'm not doing these again. I'll do anything else. You can take out the trash. I'll do it. And please watch me. I'm right behind you. I'm following. Trust me. >> Don't even know how to do dishes. >> Are you watching? >> What are you even looking at? >> Huh? I thought

you was taking out the trash. >> I did. >> Look at this. What is this? >> Look, I'm very tired and I don't know what's going on. You have the attention span of a 5-year-old, so you'll never see me do this. And I don't want to keep doing this over and over and over because you never look at me. Apparently, if you don't see it get done, it doesn't get done. I don't know how that works. So, is there anything else I can do that you'll hopefully watch me do? Did you clean your room yet?

To be honest, my room's not even that bad. [Music] See? All right. So, I'm about to clean up. So, watch me. Let's do it. >> Finally done. Excuse me. Do you have the time? Huh? The time? What the time? Bro, speak louder. You're whispering. What time is it? Do you know what he's saying? Oh, I wasn't paying attention. Maybe he knows. Hey, what's up? What was he saying? I mean, I seen his mouth moving, but like I'm all the way over here, so I couldn't hear him. Why was it interesting? I don't know. That's what

we trying to find out. Hm. Say it again. Look, it's not that difficult. I'm just asking for the time. >> Yeah, you lost me. That sounded boring. >> What time is it? I'm reading the subtitles and I still don't understand him >> because I think that's in Spanish. >> I don't know Spanish. Yo, you're standing right beside me. What time is it? Anyone else hearing like a loud beat playing every time he talks? God damn it, man. What time is it? I'm confused. Oh god. [Music] Tell us another joke. Make us laugh again. Yeah, funny

man. Wait, what? No, I never said a joke. Then why was I laughing? I don't know why y'all were laughing. I was just asking for the damn time. >> We're waiting. >> Clean those damn tears. I just want to know what time it is. Yes. Nice one. >> Time. Fine. You know what? I can roll with this. Y'all think I'm funny? I can tell y'all an actual joke. Um, knock knock. Yo, really? That's where you going to go, bro? Like, that's where you want to take this? >> Who is this guy? Who gave him the

mic? Oh, so y'all rude. Y'all not going to answer the door? Look, I'm not playing. Like, I was happy. I was way better. You know, you're better. That's crazy. Why is this guy a comedian? I never said I was a comedian. I don't know why y'all gave me this. >> Tell jokes. That's not even That's not even humorous. Oh, it's weird how now y'all can hear me, but when I was asking a question earlier, that was a You know, the bad thing is I was going to show this to my kids. I was filming this

like I was laughing at and now I'm not. You should have never left the house. Really, I should have never left the house. boo. >> Yes. >> Boo. >> Big booze. Little boos. >> The bad thing is I still don't know what time it is. >> Huh? Did y'all hear that? >> Yeah. >> What'd he say? I don't know. H. mother. >> Mhm. >> Close my fridge. But I'm hungry. >> Close my damn fridge. >> But how do I get to the [Music] Mom? What? >> I'm hungry. >> Well, eat then, >> but I need

to open the fridge to get the food. >> Well, do that. Like, why is he telling me this? >> Okay. >> Excuse me. >> What? You need to get through >> my electricity. Close the fridge. But you just said close it. Okay. You know what? I'm done. Cuz I don't have time for this. What are you doing? Yeah. I'm going just go out and pick something up to eat. All that food in the fridge and you about to go out to eat. You won't let me go in the fridge now. Why would I not let

you go in the fridge? Like, how dumb do you sound? Just grab what you need. How do I grab what I need out the fridge when I don't know what's in it? You won't let me look. Oh, I'm sorry. I deeply apologize. My voice. I didn't mean no harm. >> Yeah. You don't want these problems. >> I don't want those problems. Now go. Yes, ma'am. [Music] Um, can I open the fridge? [Music] Close my fridge. That's it. No. Where are you going? Look, I'm not leaving, but I'mma eat regardless. I'mma call something in. I'm going

to get something delivered. So, this is the thanks I get. The appreciation for all my hard work. I'll be at home working over a hot stove for hours just to make sure you have food in your stomach. I work hard so that you have a roof over your head. And this is the thanks I get. This is how you treat me. Everything I do, everything I do it for you. You. And you can't be grateful enough to just appreciate the little things I do. Now that's foul. That's foul. All I'm asking for is a little

bit of love and support. That's it. That's it. Look, I didn't I didn't look at it that way. I'm sorry. I I'll go Gina, get the hell out of here. Um, I'm sorry. What was I saying? She messed me up. Uh, all right. I was sad. Remember, I'm sorry. I'm going to go get a plate. See, I'm grabbing a plate and a spoon. Okay. Now, where is it? Which shelf is it on? Is this it? >> Close my damn fridge. [Music] Why did Why did you put that one back? I always want to save it

for last. No, that don't make sense. Open it now. I I think it could wait. What's the point in waiting? I mean, I already got this in my hand. I might as well just open it. I mean, you picked that one up first. Just open it. Why do I have to open that? Open it up. I don't want to open that. Why are you avoiding it? I'm just saving lies. Why are you not opening it? Because it's soft. It's soft. What does that mean? Which means it's nothing I want. What' you say? See, ain't it

adorable? Nice. Don't put it down. Put it on. Do I have Put it on. See, I don't see what the problem was. It looks nice on you. See, your mama got taste. Now, put your arms up so I can take some pictures. >> I don't think you got this out of the boy section. >> Now, turn around. I can't wait to show all these pictures to my friends at the office. [Music] What are you doing? What? I'm looking right at you. I see you. >> What are you talking about? >> We're not doing this again.

Open the gift. >> Which gift? >> The one in your The one that you're holding. >> Oh, open it. >> You know I will. I'm just saving the best for last. You don't even know what it is. How is it the best? I mean, you want me to open it, so it must be pretty special. Excuse me. All of them are special. You picked that one up. So, open it. I mean, I could, but like open it. >> But it's it's so soft. H. Okay. Okay. [Music] >> But it's soft, huh? I mean, you wrapped

this around it. I didn't know. See, I was going to let you play these games, but no. I don't think you deserve it. >> No. I mean, no. I love it. >> What? Love what? >> What you mean? >> I mean, do you love what's on the floor or what's in your hand? It's not difficult. Answer the question. Tell me which one. Which one? I don't got all day. Both. I love both. Both. Oh, really? Then put it on. Put it on. I can't wear a PlayStation. See, what was the problem? It's adorable. How do

you still not know my size? Now stand still. I feel like this is more for you than it is for me. I'm so putting these on Instagram. >> Cool. Now put on a hat. A hat. [Music] Who the hell was that? >> What's going on? I can't stop yawning. It hurts. It hurts. My jaw is cramping. Ow. I'm only yawning because you keep yawning. And I'm only yawning because you won't stop. >> Stop. No. How about you stop? I will turn around so I won't see you yawn. [Music] That loud ass yawn. Go somewhere where

I can't hear you. Like who does that? That loud ass yawn. Face ass. I can still see you. >> Why are you even looking? [Music] >> Shut up. God damn it. You better hold in that damn yawn. All of that yawning. It's annoying. All right, we're done. We're good. All right, we're good. Everything is over. We're done yawning. God damn. See, I don't lie. We're through. Yes. We can relax. Finally. Breathe. We did it. Yes. Finally. >> You don't have to do it. Let's just talk about this. >> Don't you dare do it. Jesus. Lucas.

Yes. I brought the groceries in. You put them up. >> Johnny's the one who liked this soap. Why didn't you ask him to put it up? >> Because I said so, >> Lucas. I'm hungry. Fix dinner. Lucas, read me a bedtime story. I made up a cartoon where the punch line of every strip is Zooie Mama. I told Raleigh maybe we should just come up with some new ideas, but he just wanted to keep writing Zooie Mama. Lucas, [Music] >> you know what? I'll just stay right here. What's the point? [Music] What are you doing?

Do you need me for anything? How long have you been standing there? I'm asking if you need anything else. >> Get out of my face. >> For what? You're just going to call me? Get the hell out of my face. >> Lucas, what? What does she want? Wait, Lucas. Lucas, I'm not playing these games. How does she know? Am I on camera? Where is it? Mom, I know you're watching me. Lucas, what's going on? [Music] You ain't getting comfortable in my damn house. I dare you. Relax. Relax. Rest, Lucas. [Music] Of course I know the

trip is tomorrow. I'm looking for my ticket as we speak. >> Lucas. Yes, Lucas. Yes, Lucas. Bro, I have to call you back. My mom keep calling me. Yes, Lucas. >> Yes, Lucas. Yes, Lucas. Yes. Hello. >> All right, let's try from over here. Lucas. Mother, I'm cooperating. I'm responding. Please respond back. I'm doing something, but if you could give me a little bit of patience, I'll be Hello. Did you hear me? >> Look, I'm not playing these games. Stop calling me. I'm not playing these games. Stop calling me. [Music] [Music] Oh, hey. Um, what

did you need? Now say it again. I said, what did you need? Nah, say it to my face. I'm right here. Now say it again. What did you need? You're not playing these games. I mean, I'm never playing these. >> Oh god. Now say it again. Say what again. You know what you say. I really don't. [Music] >> Fine. I'm sorry for whatever I said. I'm sorry. I can accept that. [Music] [Music] All right, let's try this again. Lucas. Yes, Lucas. >> Yes. Some stuff fell off my dresser. I'm trying to clean it up right

now. >> Do you hear me? Can you hear me? Please hear me. I ain't got time. I got to clean this up. I'll be down there later. >> I'm busy. Damn. [Music] Oh, hello. Are you here to get your portrait done? >> Actually, I was just looking for the bathroom. >> Please take a seat. >> Thanks, but I think I'm going just go though. I mean, it's free. >> Well, what you waiting for? >> Holy crap. Oh my god. Where did you even come from? You know what? Don't answer. Uh, you're here. Uh, let's get

this picture started. Okay. Do you think so? Like, do you need me to smile or something? Cuz I can do that. Or do you like want me to do my own thing? Oh, no. You're good. Actually, just keep looking straight. And if you don't mind, can you take off your glasses? Sure, I can do that. So, like, are you almost finished? Hold up. Just adding the finishing touches to the hair. I'm done. Here you go. >> What the hell is this? It's you. This is not me. Look, I just draw what I see. So, you

drew the black girl from Jimmy Neutron? I am not the black girl from Jimmy Neutron. That's a lie. You two could be related. And why do her eyes look like the form Pokeballs? Hey, look. The portrait was free, but we do accept tips. [Music] Five bucks. Thanks. I highly appreciate it. Boom. We don't even look alike. You know what? I know the people on Snapchat's going to agree with me, and that's all that matters. Hey y'all, I went to a place where they draw people, and the dude who was there was like, "Hey, you want

a free drawing?" And I was like, "Yeah, bet." But but but look at this. Look at this. This is unacceptable. What is this? He legit played my life. I felt so played. I just wanted to be me. I wanted to be Lucas. Why couldn't I be Lucas? Who is this person? I've never felt so embarrassed in my life. Like, he legit roasted me cuz that's supposed to be me. This is the girl from Jimmy Neutron. I am not the girl from Jimmy Neutron. Like, like look at this. Look at this. Who is this? Who is

this? This is not me. Like, does this look like the normal me? This is Liby's ugly ass. Like look, if I was just to come up to y'all and be like, "Hey, what's up?" You wouldn't be like, "Hey, that's Lucas." You know why? That's not what I look like. Like, do y'all see this? Does Does this look like Lucas? No. No, it doesn't. Like, look at my eyes. Dancing on my damn eyes. Like, damn. Why are they so big, I'm all up in your business. I look so damn nosy. Like, seriously. Like, mind your damn

business. All right, that's posted. So, we're good. >> Who? Hello? >> I don't know who drew that, but that doesn't even look like you. And I'm not playing these games when I say they legit played your life. Like, I wouldn't go like that, but that's just me. I don't see the resemblance, and I'm just keeping it real. I approve of that message. I don't know who you are, nor how you got this number. But look, just expect more calls from me in the future expecting you to tell me how I don't look like Libby, cuz

I needed this. Do you understand me? Thank you. Look, we need more people like him in this world. Hey, what's up? I'm sorry. I kind of made a mistake earlier. I had fingerprints on my glasses, so they was kind of blocking me from the truth. But to be honest, Libby could be your twin sister. Get the hell off my phone. Who the hell you talking to? I could jump through this phone right now and whoop your ass. I'm definitely talking to you. You ain't going to do nothing. Look, we were friends, best friends. I knew

you since like 40 seconds ago and you just gonna throw everything we had away over some nonsense like this. You know what? Damn. Still ugly. [Music] [Music] I'm sorry I kind of have to get that. I'll be back with you in a second. We'll continue this. Who the hell are you? Well, uh, I'm kind of busy with like my own thing here, so I'm going just I'm sorry. It was just some random girl that didn't want nothing. I didn't recognize her, so I don't know her. Um, but where were we? All right. Hey class, let's

quiet down. Quiet down. Thank you. You're the only one talking. I'm about to do roll call. Once you hear your name, please respond so I can mark you off as present. Are y'all ready? >> I'm ready. >> Rodney here. Malcolm >> present. Gabriel. Dave. Hello. >> Kevin. >> Mr. Squidward. Mr. >> Kevin. [Music] >> Kevin. Why you keep calling me? What's going on? What's going on? Kevin, just tell him you're here. Prove your existence. I just not this. He's looking right at me. >> Kevin, are you here or are you not? >> You know the

answer to that. >> Oh my god. You want to get him started? >> What time is lunch today? >> See, that's the problem with this class. Y'all don't listen. >> There it is. You got him started. >> Y'all, >> bro, >> out of all the eight periods I teach, >> what are you about to say? >> Y'all are the worst. I knew it. >> And there's no competition. Why be all that? >> Y'all rude, not smart, do nothing but talk while I teach. Most of y'all fell in my class for real. Kevin, sit down. Huh?

Y'all play too much, mess up my classroom, don't do homework, can't read. Kevin, huh? Y'all sleep in my class. And damn, y'all stink. I'm forever ashamed to call y'all my students. Y'all don't appreciate what I do for y'all as a teacher. And because of that, I won't be giving out any more [Music] [Music] Bro, I know you didn't just shoot a spitball in my damn mouth. Hold up. You're lucky they hold me back. I will drop kick those dreads off your noggin. Turn them into jump ropes for bikini bottom. Have Patrick doing double duts with

your >> And this is the quadratic formula. Everyone, please take the time to write this down. >> And if you have any questions, please feel free to ask. What are y'all learning today? Huh? So, what are y'all learning today? I mean, we haven't really been learning anything so far. >> Math. We're learning math. I see. Remember, next week will be the test on this. So, let's be sure to focus up this week. [Music] man. Where were we? You lucky they hold me back. Let me go. Let me go. >> What? Now, why would you let

me go? You told me to. >> You don't let me go. >> What if you say >> I said don't let me go? >> Thank you. Now, like I said, the lucky hold me back trying to embarrass me in front of my entire class. I'm not playing these games. Let me go for Okay, so you must not care about the well-being of your fellow classmates cuz you must want me to fight. You're right. I don't care. >> You know that is very inconsiderate. Maybe I should be putting all of this energy towards you instead. >>

Right. Clean off your work areas. Today is dissection day. What class is this? >> I'm so sorry. I think I left my clipboard. >> See, I told y'all I could do it. Y'all didn't want to believe in me. Now look at y'all over there looking stupid. [Music] >> My dread. >> Could we dissect this? >> We could actually. But that's my dream. >> Hey, we appreciate your donation class. [Music] Oh no. Come in. Fight the ass. This car about your friend's help. Oh god. No. Don't do it. Okay, time is up. Time to turn your

spelling test. >> What? >> Are you believing any of this? Not >> at all. Come me. Okay. [Music] on the beat. [Music] >> What's up with the bag that's outside of >> Take them off. >> Excuse me? >> I said take them off. >> Oh, no. I heard you the first time. You ain't got to repeat yourself. I just need you to elaborate like what am I taking off? >> Shoes? Your shoes? >> Yep. I'm wearing shoes. >> No shoes in the house. Take them off. >> Whoa. You yelling at me like we do this

daily. Like it's just a household thing or something. For the past 20 plus years I've been living here. You have never done this. Like and plus you know me. I wear shoes. I wear shoes like 24/7. I basically sleep in my shoes. No. Like literally I sleep in my shoes. I shower in my shoes. I just wear shoes. You wear shoes. You're wearing shoes right now. Whole ass boots. Come on. First off, these are my house slippers. If you're going to say something, make sure you have the facts straight first. You are not slipping in

and out of those. You have locks on your shoes. Your shoes have locks on them. How you feel? That's not the point. Like, what daytime television show inspired you to do this? Like, what are you watching? Like, who is this guy? Look, I said take them off now. What is your reason? Because I said so. I know you said so. You've been saying it, but what is your reason? Take them off. How did you off. No, you're right. You got it. I don't know what I was thinking to be honest. >> No, outside. What's outside?

>> Put your shoes outside. I'm not going to say it again. >> Okay, I can understand. I wear my shoes in the house like tracking my outside debris on the inside carpet. But you want me to just leave my shoes outside? Like just out in the open? That's what I said. And that's exactly what you're going to do. What is he teaching you? Okay, look. You're going to have to stop doing that. Or at least teach me. Okay, since we got that settled, I need you to go in there and take the trash out. You

are aware that you just tossed my shoes outside, right? So, you want me to go and grab the trash and take it out while basically being barefoot. You couldn't just ask me to do this h I don't know before I took off my shoes. Are you going to do it or not? No, no, no, no, no, no. Look, I just wanted to understand the logic behind that. I shouldn't have to explain myself and I shouldn't have to put my bare feet to the concrete. Where are your socks? Um, they all had holes in them. I

don't I don't know. [Music] Did somebody knock? [Music] I shouldn't be the one to do this. [Music] I see you put on more shoes. >> Look, I can explain. They're new shoes. I was just making sure. >> Did I ask? Did I say, "Hey, are those new shoes?" No, I did not. I was just giving them a test run, making sure they my size, comfortable. No shoes in the house. But at least my shoes don't track mud through the house. [Music] outside. Do I have to? Yeah. Keep playing with me all you want. >> What?

My shoes. All my shoes. You toss my shoes outside? Do you even listen? No shoes in the house. So, you just threw them all out? >> Yes. And don't bring them back in. >> I can't just leave my shoes outside. >> Excuse me. Some dude just ran off with my shoes. Well, why didn't you run after them? >> Cuz I got no shoes. >> Damn. Tragic. Hey, my shoes. >> I'm not playing these games. [Music] >> Um, I got a question. Are you home right now? >> Yeah, I'm just getting here. Why you ask? I

need you to do a quick favor for me. I need you to take the salmon out of the freezer. It needs to throw out. All right, I got you. Yeah, I need you to do that immediately. Yeah, I'm just calling to make sure you did what I asked you to do. You did it, right? >> I'm in the kitchen right now as we speak. >> All right, I'm counting on you. It's a simple little statue. >> Hello again. >> Hey, I'm just calling to let you know I'm about 7 minutes away from the house. Um,

based on how many times I called you though, um, there's no reason why the fish shouldn't be out of the fridge, right? It's a simple and easy task to get done. I >> did it already. >> No, no, no, no. I believe you. If you said you did it, then you did it. I'm just letting you know. I'm about to be home shortly. All right. Bye. I remember now. They hate each other. >> Hey, want to go back in extreme bear wrestle? >> So, where's the salmon at? Oh, maybe he put it in the sink.

What the hell has that boy been doing? What the I know that boy did it. Since when do we close doors in this house? Hey. Hello. No shoes in the house. Take them all. That's the last straw. >> No, we have plenty of straws, actually. See? >> Oh, no. I gave you one job. >> Wait, I don't even have a job. >> The fish. Where did you put the salmon? >> Salmon? What's salmon? >> I told you four times. Four times to take the salmon out of the freezer. >> I swear you said ice cream.

>> What? Why would I say ice cream? >> I don't know. I was confused, too. >> How does a fish sound like ice cream? >> You know what? Truthfully, I wasn't even paying attention. I just heard you say take something out the freezer. Why would you think ice cream would be the logical choice if I told you to take something out of the freezer? >> Look, I don't know. Maybe it was too cold for you. Maybe you wanted a room temp or something warmer. >> I just asked for one thing and you can't do it.

What do you be doing around here? >> I don't know. Nothing. >> And that's the problem. Also, when you see things need to be done around here, why don't you do it? >> What are you referring to? >> You see this room? The sink full of dishes. Jesus, the trash is full. Mama, it's a trash can. It's supposed to have trash in it. That's it. I'm done dealing with this suitcase. Thank you. I'm tired of this. No more disrespect. I'm done. >> Huh? You don't need to clean my room. I was going to get those.

Hold up. When I said I'm done, I'm missing now. Get the hell out of my house. You can't be serious. >> I'm not playing these games. [Music] >> What you looking at? Who you yelling at? >> Hey, I'm here to ask you for a favor. Yeah. Yeah. Can I just come over to you and talk about this in person? [Music] All right. Now, what is this about? Okay, look. I know this is going to be kind of random, but I mean, we were best friends back in school, right? Back in school? I'm still in school.

What are you talking about? How you ain't graduate yet? We're 24 25 now. >> No, look, I got homework. If this is what was so important, I'm about to go back in the house. >> No, wait. Okay, look. I'm sorry. That's my bad. Um, you know my mom, right? Oh, yeah. How is Miss Teresa doing? Nah, she's fine. Everything's well. But, um, slight problem. Um, so she might have um kicked me out of the house. Wait, what' you say? Kick me out of the house. Say it again. Kick me out of the house. >> Louder.

Kick me out of the house. >> Louder. >> Damn. Kick me out of the house. She kicked me out of the house. [Music] >> So, what are you getting at? Well, you know, seeing how we used to be so close, I thought maybe it would be a great idea if, you know, I could stay with you for a while, possibly. How'd that sound? I don't like the sound of that. >> Oh, you want me to say it differently? >> Hey, why would you do that? >> I don't know. Maybe you like the sound of this

one. See, what I was thinking is I move into your bedroom. Your whole bedroom is mine. It's not yours anymore. You move into the bathroom. You get comfortable in the sink. And what is my last name again? You got one of those? Bet. Get on my property. Makes sense. [Music] I'll wait. [Music] >> And what brings one of my favorite students to my humble abode today? Yeah, Mr. Patrick, sir, I had a favor I needed to ask of you. Okay, I'm interested. Go on. I'm listening. You have my full undivided attention. >> Excuse me, sir.

You got anything to eat? Start >> now. I know you did it. That is rude. Can't seem holding a conversation with my student. >> I'm sorry. >> Do I interrupt your conversation? >> Yes, all the time. We can't talk in here >> because there's no talking in my house. Same as there's no eating food in my house ever. >> Oh, wait. I didn't I didn't know you had kids. Huh? I don't have kids. Oh, so so you teach classes on the weekends, too? No. What gave you that idea? >> I'll wait. >> Excuse me? They

just keep picking on me. >> Okay. What you expect me to do? I know you ain't just snitching me expecting me to help. Danger is scary. Trust me, that 9-year-old packs a punch. Hey, go upstairs and leave. Get your back here. What you think you doing? Huh? You ain't going nowhere. Right here. Right here. Look. Look at me. You ain't getting through me. Huh? I got the eyes of an eagle. No one get past me. Get back over there. Get back to the house. [Music] >> What the hell is that? >> Oh, hell no. >>

Someone get this beast. Get this beast off of me. Oh, damn. >> What you going to do? What you going to do? Shoot. No. Damn you game. I'm not playing these games. Hello. Hello. Where is it? Hello. Can anybody hear me? What the hell? You ain't just seen me out here screaming for my life, running from this big ass panther. Where were you? Look, forget it. What did I come out here for? Um, all right. Look, I'm sorry for appearing on your doorstep the way I did. I know we probably don't know each other. Probably

not at all, actually. My name Lucas. Nice to meet you. But look, I got a very serious question I need to ask you. And by all means, feel free to say no if you know you feel uncomfortable with it because you probably will be. So, are you even listening to me? Cuz I feel like you're not. You're not responding to me. I need you to respond to me in my words. Well, that's different. Is it Is it good? >> What? What do you want? >> Can I please come inside? >> What did I tell you?

>> Come on. You're embarrassing me. Look, we're already drawing in a crowd. >> Don't make me regret this. Come on. You can come in briefly, but you not Hey. What's popping? Who the hell are you? What is this? >> I said no. And when I say no, I mean it. You're not coming back here. I haven't even been gone for a day yet. And you already replaced me. >> Can you please close my door back the way I had? Look, I'm not cleaning up after you no more. >> I can change. >> I've given you

way too many chances as it is. >> One more chance won't hurt you. >> Look, I don't know what to tell you. It's It's over. It's time for you to grow up and move on in a discussion. So, that's it. That's all you have to say. >> I think I got a solution to your problem. >> I need a place to live. How could you possibly help me? >> Cuz I know of a place, a good place you could stay at. Wait, if you know of a place to stay, then why don't you stay there

yourself? I do stay there. This is my damn house. Oh, you thought I was just staying in your attic forever with no other place to go? Oh, wow. Wonderful. I said how you was thinking of me. Now, follow the coordinates. It should take you to the correct address. The back door should be unlocked. But why are you doing this? [Music] Damn. [Music] I said, "Get out of my house." And I don't know who left this at the door, but take this with you. [Music] I mean, this looks like the place. [Music] Damn. Big-headed ass. You

got a dormatory on your shoulders. Don't. How you get here so fast? I don't know if you realize, but this is a skit. I can do whatever I want. I can teleport if I wanted to. Okay, look. I followed the coordinates. I'm here. What am I supposed to do now? Get comfortable. This your house now. This is me paying you back for all those years you've taken me in. >> Years? You was there for years? Plus, we never took you in. We don't even know when you moved in. >> Well, regardless, you got a place

to stay now. But look, I got to go somewhere. >> Wait, where you going? >> I'm going home. >> I thought this was your house. >> The house I stayed at. >> To the attic. [Music] Thank you. [Music] Huh? I guess no one's home. [Music] Thank you, soldiers. >> I knew you were home. Your dumb ass off my pole. >> No, you open this door and listen to my pit. >> Hell no. Move out the way so my food can come through. >> Move the hell out the way. Oh, you're not talking to me. >>

Don't talk to him now. Smell your tongue. >> No, I'm going talk to him and don't touch my tongue. >> Stop it before you spit my food. >> Oh, you lucky almost spitting your food. >> No, he's going to have to go through me first. I'm not playing these games. I got other deliveries to make. I don't care. What product are you even selling? Well, since you minding my business, it's the suitcase. >> Nobody want that damn suitcase. Screw him. Let's go in the garage. >> I don't even know if I can make it. Well,

I would like to see you try. Oh, bet. Let's do this. Let's do it. >> Okay. How about if we start with one of these? Oh, okay. My bad. You didn't see this one coming. Oh my. I didn't know it was going against the D1 athlete. Let's stop. Well, I'm out of tricks. That was everything. You want me to just place the bag right here? Break his ankle. >> Okay. I guess you weren't witnessing what I was trying to do, but okay. I got one more good move in me. [Music] [Music] Break. Whoa. What have

you done to me? Where are you? Huh? >> Not the garage. Where are you? >> You thought I was going to let you go that easily? >> Let me go. I won't. I got it. Let go of the fool. >> Let go the fool. What about me? >> I said let go the fool. You're mine. See, look. I got you now. He's trying to self. It's okay. I'm not trying. I am. Please stop. I can't fit him. Oh, never mind.