Ricky Gervais: Hosting The 2018 Golden Globes Would've Ended My Career

ladies gentlemen my first guest tonight is an Emmy winning comedian who created the office and extras please welcome back to the show Ricky Gervais [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you nice to see you again thank you for being here my pleasure you look good hey that was real that wasn't sarcasm thank you no no you look I'm wearing black it helps it's slimming oh is it really I'm tracksuits addition to go our he's wearing a tracksuit you must be fit no one way Ivana I don't know about no 10 pounds

over the last year yeah yeah I'm I'm losing the battle well I was I think I think you do look good especially compared to this photo that you put up three days three days ago yeah photo you put up you put this photo up three days ago oh hey why would you do this do I put this photo I put that up and I said I've put on five pounds over Christmas please fat Shane me to help me but my ideas up and they did they it bore like he'll probably crawl they were saying things

like how'd you get Ricky Gervais into a shower grease the sides and throw in a cookie yeah so they really won't but someone said it looks like you're giving birth to yourself they said look at it this way you're harder to kidnap they're gonna struggle they got only bags gone leave it forget it yeah Trump's position just said he's in excellent health 603 239 pounds I'm gonna go to that doctor yeah what the doctor might say about you well I'll have a physical every year and it's always the same they they I mean I have

everything now and I'm in my 50s I have the and the finger and everything right and yeah and it always goes like this and they go why are you you know you're still you're slightly a little bit overweight and they're doing it nicely you know I mean and and they go what so what are we gonna do about it I want to go what doing what we gonna do about it you're the doctor what are you gonna if I take my car to a mechanic and he goes always broke and what we good you're gonna

fix it get in there so you know I mean so uh and the it's Donald Trump's healthy I'm healthy he's like my canary down the mine if he's still around I mean what he eats and it was a story or in England about a guy who went to the doctor because he was out of breath and it's cuz he was so constipated that it was pushing his lungs up right so um and if I did that I'd say I'm not gonna chance it I'm not gonna be able to toilet now dying like Elvis I'd say

you're the doctor getting there with a spoon get it out sort me out I'm not gonna at that point I think I'd have a caesarean I would I'd been fit yeah heaven you're like you're like famous professional carry their big wave I was Fitness I was fit for the first 28 years I'd say oh and then I got I got I think I got fatter and fatter of over 20 years right and I reached my sort of peak of sort of unwellness and blob enos about 48 I was I was lying at home on the

floor right and I was saying to Jane I'm having a heart attack right and I felt sort of powder and hot and clammy because I'd eaten 11 sausages right and I wasn't having a heart attack but Jane said oh you got to get fit and so I sort of got fit but then it's creeping back on and I did it by working out I did like an hour and a half every day worked out like Rocky so I could go home and eat pizza and drink wine every night and I still do that but now

I can't work out enough so I'm just gonna get fatter and fatter and then I'm gonna die okay so it has a happy ending everyone yeah everyone does die he just died yeah hmm this is this is brought the tone down a bit a little bit a little bit okay you made quite a splash over the years hosting the Golden Globes how many times four four times okay this year was kind of the plotting of the court yeah and this year was a was a very prominent year for the Golden Globes I think Seth did

a really lovely job yeah but a lot of people when they're writing about it said like you know given that the me to or the time's up move man oh thank god Ricky Gervais he's didn't host it this year he would have been too irreverent or or I wish he had cuz we would have seen more irreverence like what what what what I was I was jealous of Seth okay they are of an amazing year to do I mean it been the end of my career but who cares again yeah we all died that's what

I think every now now I've evolved it doesn't matter I'm gonna die soon so I honestly it doesn't matter I think that's why I've done the best stand-up ever because I'm so close to death but I think I what's the what's the worst that can happen to me you know I mean someone being offended now is nothing I go so what I'm gonna die yeah so well the drilling the things you wanted to talk about like like but it's a very sensitive subject it's I mean like no sense did the better that's the fun for

me talking about irreverent and sensitive and taboo subject is there's nothing you shouldn't joke about there's no subject you shouldn't joke about it depends on the actual joke and the target and people get offended when they mistake the subject of a joke with the actual target and they're not necessarily the same so and and some people are offended fine you know just cuz you're offended it doesn't mean you're right some people are offended by a quality your president he's offended by a quality it doesn't is right this uh I have to ask is your wearing

all-black is that that's very woke of you is that is that in solidarity with anyone cuz it's slimming that's all it is I'm gonna move your mic down slightly if you don't mind it's caught in your abuse this is abuse it's caught in your neck oh that one again meat a little fish yeah yeah yeah but did I really need the one on my testicles you put on earlier is it you said it's good for picking up the bass is that true is that a real thing yeah yeah yeah yeah okay yeah subwoofer we call

it which is what I call you now would you care to woof me sub no no it's all be careful okay you've created a game show yeah there's a game show it's called child support yes why and what um and if you have time where it's a sort of classic quiz show but with a twist so it's like who wasn't a millionaire and members of public answer questions for money and they get harder and the money gets bigger the host and I'm not the host that's too much responsibility Fred Savage is the host he's got

all the all the drama but if they get a question wrong then it goes to me in a room with a bunch of kids like six and seven eight year olds and if one of them I ask them the question and if one of them gets the question right the the adult is saved and it's just fun for me it's honestly it's the first they insult me they don't respect me which I which I like that's good it's a good thing um I was the one little girl was said are you married and I said

sort of I've been with the same girlfriend for nearly 30 years over 30 years and she went why don't you propose to her then giving me a hard time and they say things like we can see your bald spot and I just laughs they just it's just funny and you can you know yeah it's just pure fun do your arm I don't know I don't know but this is the best of both worlds because I can have fun with them right get them all riled up tease them laugh then I'll go they're not mine I'm

go to the pub someone else's problem it's perfect it's good I'll try that I gotta try that yeah so so what kind of questions are you hitting these kids with are they're really tough they get tougher but it might be a pop question the adult doesn't know or something about Disney but they've been saved without giving too much away by astronomy questions some of them are like little geniuses you know but they're all sort of sweet and all different it's just it's just funny it's just funny to watch them I could just sit there all

day and because there's no filter they're just so honest that's what's funny about it I think I think honesty is funny you know children are unfiltered yeah it's that unfiltered yeah we talk often when you're on here and I love all on your own we've talked several times about God sometimes Joe when you're on not every time but sometimes you're on and it's been I don't know nine months or something since the last time you were on and and you know we're that much closer to death and yeah not just me whole world yeah heat

death throughout the universe and people often as the saying goes find God as they approach their final boards and and now that you're older is it occurred to you again have you given any more thought to God and whether he might be real yeah I think about it every day yeah yeah he's not there was a study there was a study I actually just read the headline but it was just last week and it was studying in England that they took a survey of atheists and they said like you know when you think death is

imminent one quarter of them in row of the respondents who said they're atheists said that they prayed they praised the last yeah I mean but that would you pray like no like Hawaii like Hawaii yeah if that one that when the missiles are coming yeah okay what do you think the missiles are coming I had a 38 minute 38 minute warning where they thought million people in Hawaii I thought for 38 minutes that the the bomb was coming what would what would you do with your 38 minutes I'd watch the first half of my Netflix

special it there it's it streams on 13th of March so okay I think so you might as well go out with a lot I know some people go on saying oh I'm gonna have sex but 38 minutes what we do with the rest of the time you know I mean so so I suggest you watch my special okay whatever queued up all the time what whilst masturbating so close so close to a happy ending oh it was so so lovely to see you again [Applause] [Music] wow what a cliffhanger what's gonna happen in the next

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