It's been 600 years since the prison. The world is a desolate wasteland brought on by the war between the unions and corporate. When the dust settled, the unions came out on top and they repurposed their mechonoid war machine as a glorified receptionist.
>> Hey chat, GPT, >> I did something really bad. >> I'm scared to tell you. >> But the Mechhive had dreams of being something bigger.
So using its position as general secretary, it slowly filled out the positions of power with people loyal to the Mechhive. And soon the entire union was filled with nothing but mechive puppets. And this is where a man in cryosleep for hundreds of years finally wakes up.
So here we are with nothing to our name but a graph ship. 300 bucks and a dream. A dream of profiting off of capital punishment and destroying Robo Stalin.
But the world has changed since the prison. Danger is everywhere. And right now it's at our front door.
Robo Stalin is coming. He won't sit idly by while we reinstate capitalism. So before his forces can descend upon us like a pack of pitbulls on a small child, we gather what resources we can find and launch into the unknown.
[music] So now that we're back on the rim, we need to expand our tiny ship into a hub of production. A task easier said than done. Right now we only have 400 grab panels, which we used to build the foundation of our ship.
A crew quarters, an engine room, and a kitchen. While we were hard at work building our ship, a starving woman showed up with a knife attempting to stab Sansen in the throat. We promptly captured her.
Her raw blood lust and determination to shank us really impressed me. We could use someone like her on the team. Considering we now had our first employee, I built a luxury apartment complex for our expanding workforce.
But humans make for terrible workers, constantly needing sustenance for survival. Luckily for us, I have a solution. Southeast from our current location is an ancient mechanator complex.
With the mechink hidden inside, it would allow us to control our very own robotic workforce which we can use to keep order on the ship. So, we flew over there to go check it out. Naturally, I was a little hesitant to enter the building as there could be unknown horrors waiting for us within.
So, congratulations, Jenny. You have been promoted. You are now one of my elite employees.
And she instantly found what we came here for. Jenny, I see a possible pizza party in your future. At the moment, we don't have anyone that can actually use this chip.
So, for now, we're going to put it in storage. In the meantime, we've detected an ancient stockpile, which houses a grab core and more grab panels, two vital resources for the expansion of our ship. The only problem is it's several flights away in the middle of a [ __ ] desert.
But we don't have much of a choice, so we began our journey. The first thing you'll notice about the desert is there's no food, or at least food that doesn't violently attack you if you try to eat it. There's also a distinct lack of any organic material really, so fuel is going to be hard to come by here.
If things go south, I plan on using Jenny's corpse to fuel the ship, but don't tell her [music] that. Once the grab drive turned back on, we took off, heading deeper into the sandy abyss, arriving at an ancient stockpile. a stockpile which is comprised of three tightly locked vaults which means hacking through all three one by one.
This is where I became acquainted with the lovely lockout feature. Then I took a look at our food storage and I pray that this is enough to get us through this stockpile. Then Doomfox decided to get pregnant as if we don't have enough mouths to feed already.
So the arrous process of hacking and waiting and then more hacking began. Finally, we were able to crack one of the three saves open. Now odds are whatever's inside wants us dead.
So, I contacted a local temp agency and got ourselves two unpaid interns, which we promptly sent into the dangerous vault. Vault one was completely empty. Vault two was slightly more interesting, finding a biomutation lance than the third and final vault.
This one had to be the one with all the loot. So, my guess is this would be the most dangerous. I was immediately proven right when my elite employee walked straight into a bug nest.
Then, my brain damaged intern activated a hunter trap. Oh, as she was bleeding out on the floor, my second intern was sent on a solo scouting mission, finding the treasure we came here for. I was so distracted by the loot, I failed to see the hunter trap or the wasp trap in the bottom corners of the room.
Both immediately activated. Now, while the wasp trap began to claw out my intern's eyes, the hunter trap completely ignored him, flying to the other side of the vault towards the rest of the crew. Wait, are you serious?
I told everyone to run like hell because a mobile IED is now flying towards them at a high velocity. flying directly into my elite employees base, shredding her to pieces. After scraping up my interns and finishing off the rest of the traps, we took the loot and escaped this death trap.
Using the grab panels we got, I built a brand new storage unit and a graffield extender to support it. Our interns contracts were also coming to an end. They showed tremendous resilience, so I think they earned the spot of full-time employee, but the naked woman decided to go a different path, leaving her friend to go through orientation all alone.
With that, we left the desert. for 5 seconds because our next Grabcore location took us right back in. But before we head back into Satan's butthole, we gathered supplies, executed my elite employee for minorly inconveniencing me by getting sick, and replacing him with a 6-year-old boy that happened to walk by at the time, throwing him into an orientation room.
An orientation room with Jenny's lung still inside left a warning. Do not disappoint me. Inspired by Bergie's willingness to join, say hello to our newest full-time member, Albo.
Since Albido was the only one of us that could craft, we forcibly injected him with the mech link. He will give his mind, body, and soul for this company. And for that, I thank you.
We captured one last poor bastard before taking off into the desert. From here to the graph point, it's all desert. And if we're lucky, an air shrub land.
We made our way to the graph point, surviving off whatever small animals we could get our hands on. Hunting was dangerous work. Senzen almost died to a horde of hungry geckos.
But it wasn't all bad as my glorious son was born, naming him Anton, my first patronon, who is like a son to me. I will raise him to destroy nations. We continue on our journey, landing in an air shrub land, a shrub land with literally no food, so we had to resort to the primitive ways of agriculture.
From here, nothing really happened except when a bomb walked into the engine room, but that's not important. We expanded the ship, harvested rice, and opened an ancient danger, scouting for potential new [music] hires. Congratulations, you're being recruited.
Then we finally made it. Inside that relay is a grab core for the taking. However, it's protected by a series of stabilizers, which are themselves protected by wirebacks.
We took out the first ones pretty easily, hitting the second and third back to back soon after. And because things were going so well for me, naturally, something catastrophic had to happen. Heat.
Heat. [music] [music] Oh. Oh.
Oh my god. No. My son.
You monster. Albido had just beheaded my son. This caused my mental well-being to shatter.
I began considering execution. All right. Okay.
We have to come to a decision. Do we do we execute Albido here for murdering my son or do we keep we kind of need him alive? However, I decided a fitting punishment was to rip out his tongue.
Originally, I felt bad about doing this. Oh, he feels sad. Maybe maybe you're not, you know, completely monet.
But I'm I'm still p Oh, he No, you're way you're way too happy. After digging my After digging my son out of the garbage, I put him in a steel sarcophagus. Do not be sad, my dear viewers.
Anton would have wanted you to smile, thinking of all the good times, such as when we left him on the floor of the dirty ship for several hours, or when he almost died of heat stroke because his bedroom was over 100°. After the death of Anton, we finished up hacking the stabilizers, destroying the mechanoid relay, and taking what's mine, leaving this godamn desert behind [music] forever. Now that we're finally out of the desert, we can take a bit of a breather before flying off to our next Grabcore location.
Or that's at least what I would like to say. But Rim World is an eternal game of [ __ ] and ball torture. And Mistress Randy just brought out the cockander [ __ ] wrench.
A large group of breadliners had smelled the stakes sizzling on our grill and descended upon us. Since we don't have a killbox, it means we're going to have to engage these peasants on equal footing. We immediately began opening fire, but their foul stench and piss jars forced us to fall back, fighting them off while using the front of our ship as cover.
After a tense gunfight with a single man armed with a pistol, we got surrounded. >> Oh [ __ ] >> But then normal warden heroically beat the pissar man to death with the butt of his pistol, causing their morale to shatter. That was a little close for my liking, considering we could have been in big trouble if they didn't run like cowards.
I need more security officers. Lucky for us, we just had a new man get through orientation. [music] He was perfect, aside from the meth addiction.
And with that, we began making our way to our next location, spamming art sculptures along the way for an easy morale boost. Welcome to the mushroom forest. Now, we're not here for the free drugs lying all over the floor.
We're here on business. I won't be seeing you later. So, we immediately got to work using miltors to help clear the way, but we were interrupted by even more breadliners who followed the scent of our succulent beef Wellington, creating a homeless encampment right next to our ship.
Oh, no you don't. Not on my watch. So, I ordered Senant to test out the biomutation lance on one of these peasants, immediately disfiguring one and [music] turning him into a vile abomination.
This sort of backfired on us because 2 hours after the homeless relocation, it exploded, nearly killing Bergie. With the homeless people no longer being a problem, we were able to finish up our work obtaining a new grav core. With the recent breadliner aggression, I realized that the planet is way more dangerous than I first thought.
Robo Stalin has clearly done a number on these people. It reminds me of something a wise man once said. Where there's suffering, there's profit.
So, I built a brand new prison cell block with a makeshift killbox so that I can capitalize off this [music] homeless crisis. If you think about it, I'm doing them a favor. I'm giving them free housing.
Three square meals a day consisting of grill grease and a hard day's work. What more could someone need to thrive? Then a gift from the heavens.
My son has been reborn. [music] Welcome back, Anton. Oh.
Oh. Oh no. Well, maybe the next one will live.
Next stop, LA, where the only thing more dangerous than the people is their animals. This is another simple grab core grab. Go in, have Bergie sweep the premises, and clear out any hostiles.
Naturally, things went terribly wrong. While the rest of the crew was taking a Cheetos and Mountain Dew Break, normal Warden was still inside the building when a lone gear sucker appeared, quickly cornering him. Now, while normal Warden was fighting for his [ __ ] life, you may be wondering why the rest of the crew hasn't come to his rescue.
The answer is because Albido is a little [ __ ] This delay in reinforcements resulted in Normal Warden nearly flatlining. God damn it, you [ __ ] idiot. Alberto, what are you doing?
We very quickly mounted a rescue operation, grabbing normal warden and hauling him into a safe location so we could patch him up. But that disgusting clanker was hot on our heels. It rounded the corner and immediately blew a golf ball-sized hole into one of my employees.
After a brief struggle, it finally went down. Overall, this little incident caused two casualties. It would have been just one if Bergie wasn't stupid and snuck into the facility while I wasn't looking.
At this point, I began questioning Albido's loyalty to the [music] cause. Give me one reason why I shouldn't execute you right now. Give me one goddamn reason why I shouldn't stab him in the heart to death.
But we are in the unfortunate circumstance of needing him alive because he's the only one that can control the despite the drama. We got all the loot we came here for. We even found an antenna.
An antenna that pointed us in the direction of a comet full of plastile. Plast would be another vital resource for this run as it's the primary ingredient for vacuits. Without them, our lungs would implode in the unpressurized vacuum of space.
Right now, only three members of our crew have the necessary equipment to survive this vacuum. So, it's of the utmost importance that we acquire as much of this plastile as humanly possible, but it's a long journey. It's going to take several jumps to get there.
And little did I know, this journey was doomed from the start. And it all started with a single tiny raid. I planned on fully utilizing this makeshift killbox and capturing all of these furries so that I could sell their organs to the highest bidder.
But there's [music] one teeny weeny problem. Henson, why are you out there? The freaks immediately descended upon him.
To even the odds, we busted out the mutation lance, which once again immediately backfired because apparently the peasants have a long-standing alliance with the cancerous flesh mass for the sole purpose of molesting Sansen. Meanwhile, Albo was getting shanked in my poorly thoughtout killbox. After disposing of the trash and capturing the ones that survived, we went and rescued Sansen.
This tiny itty bitty raid slowly snowballed into a mood spiral with my wife hitting the juice hard. And when I say juice, I mean anabolic steroids. This was poor timing because Albido just got an infection from the dirty knife he was shanked with during the battle.
And because my wife is built out of her goddamn mind right now, she can't preach health, which would save Albo from his infection. Normally, I would beat some sense back into a colonist, but considering she's on a combination of two-part steroids and two parts methamphetamine, she's not coming down anytime soon. The entire ship was constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown, including me.
The only one happy right now is my wife. And you want to know why she's happy? It's cuz she's coked out of her goddamn mind right now.
Oh, no, she's not happy. In fact, that made it worse. I just I And then she got food poisoning.
Okay. Yeah, that doesn't make me angry at all. No, I don't even want to punch a wall right now.
I don't even want to. Not even a little bit. Normal Wharton was the only capable doctor who currently isn't dying or overdosing on steroids.
So, in order to keep people alive, I began shoveling beers into his mouth to keep him from having a mental breakdown. Eventually, my wife came down from her steroid induced rage and was able to talk Albido out of dying from infection. Things are only going to get worse from here, and I have nobody else to blame but me.
Right after I saw Albido get mugged by a bunny rabbit, I made the incredibly smart decision to take a quest that involved us getting raided twice by heavily armed LRA members. The first raid showed up almost immediately. To make the mood spiral even worse, apparently my long-lost daughter was among their ranks.
We immediately got into defensive positions with two miltors in the front to stop anyone from running in. But these overengineered toasters wouldn't be able to hold them for long. Slowly, raiders began to trickle in, using flamethrowers at point blank range, forcing a hasty retreat.
With the front of our ship compromised and on fire, I thought the run was over, but I was wrong. The raiders, seeing our tactical maneuvering, made a run for it. My daughter perished in the battle.
I'm sure one of these corpses is her. I don't really know. In all honesty, it was most likely friendly fire that did her in, but it doesn't matter because now the mood spiral is even worse.
In order to deal with our crumbling mood, I began feeding everyone lavish meals. But feeding our crew of seven people a diet of caviar and flemen is not a valid option while in the cold vacuum of space. And since we're one jump away from the asteroid, I made another incredibly intelligent decision to dump the two Imperial guards from the LR quest in the middle of the forest.
Hi guys. Bye. This is a very smart idea that I do not regret at all.
But after all that, we are finally here and I launched into the upper atmosphere. Oh, wait. The front door's open.
With the door left wide open, the entire front end of the ship was immediately depressurized, causing my prisoner's blood to vaporize from inside their body. But that's just the cost of business. We're here for two reasons.
Plast steel and back stone. With V stone, we can make large thrusters, which will increase our jump range exponentially. So, we immediately began harvesting.
We were on the asteroid for all of 5 seconds before we got hit with the second rate of the quest. Oh no. Oh no.
I checked the grab drive. Well, boys, it looks like we're fighting this one. My pathetic excuse of a killbox was once again immediately overrun.
The only thing between us and a certain doom was two lifter droids. Once they started lobbing grenades into the killbox, I chose to commit the reserve. Sure, they don't have space suits, but I pride myself on my employees ability to hold their breath.
It wasn't long before the lifter heads got caved in. With our front line destroyed, the floodgates were open. Enemies began flooding in, hacking molotovs everywhere, forcing our left flank back.
Meanwhile, the right flank, Sansen took a shotgun blast to the chest, shredding his space suit to pieces. But despite raw dogging the cold vacuum of space, he finished them off. With the attackers on the left flank only focusing on the turret, Doomfox and Warden [music] were able to easily pick them off.
Oh my god. Jesus. This is [ __ ] stressful as hell.
We had survived the battle by the skin of our teeth. The only silver lining is that a fresh batch of prisoners arrived on our front doorstep. Everyone's back suits were basically destroyed which caused colonists to throw a temper tantrum or worse take off their helmets while they're outside the ship.
Using the anticlimactic amount of plastile on this asteroid, I had epic nuke begin crafting some fresh drip. Then we got raided again. Shortly after that raid, I escaped this godforsaken rock.
But this experience has forever scarred my crew. Where where my son died. Where?
Where? Where? My I killed my son.
Can you just get to work, dude? I slept in the heat. Where?
Where? It's [ __ ] 30° in my house. My time on the asteroid taught me a valuable lesson on the value of an actual killbox, as well as instilling a hatred inside me for anything space related.
Anyway, we took on two new members onto the team, found out the hard way about opening cryosleep caskets before you're ready, a lesson I will never learn, and had another Anton. Anton at number three, who is now a girl. I hope this one lasts longer than the other two.
This was quite the peaceful time for us, but I knew that eventually I would have to go back up into the upper atmosphere, no matter how little I wanted to. Here, I began exploring space stations, most of which are infested with wirebacks. But I had a new tool at my disposal, the humble shield belt, completely countering the hunter drones.
Unfortunately, if somebody is standing behind you, it seems that the shield belt acts as a conductor for kinetic energy, leaving Senzen at the receiving end of 3,000 ntons. Using the loot from space stations, I continue to expand our ship, switching from chem fuel to nuclear power. I continued to send Avocado to clear out entire space stations by himself.
The only thing that could stop me now is my sheer incompetence. Once again, I made another incredibly intelligent decision to send Avocado, our tank, away and then open up cryosleep caskets. Almost immediately, I realized my mistake.
Dude, that fucker's wearing marine armor. [music] Normal warden immediately got his suit ripped open. Senzen was gunned down and beaten.
Albido rushed in to help his comrades, but was armed with a sniper rifle. So, [music] instead of having him be completely useless, I had him stop the lady who was currently holding what I assumed to be a death ray. Finally, after 30 agonizing seconds, Avocado made it to the battle right as a staking went down.
Normal Warden screamed a rallying cry. Avocado, with his morale boosted, shoved a spear through Sierra's heart while Albido got shot in the face, allowing the death ray woman to get away. She immediately made a run for it.
I can only assume she was gunning for the ship. I feared the worst. If she reaches the ship, she might blow a hole through it, leaving us stranded on this god-forsaken station.
[music] There was only one person that could possibly stop her now. Doombox threw Anton 3 onto the floor and rushed to stop her. She fired a volley, but this didn't even slow her down.
Her intentions were clear. She's going to destroy the ship. So, I made a hasty retreat.
The fact she didn't have a space suit on didn't even phase her. This woman is clearly the most dangerous thing we have faced so far, taking a steel trap to the face without even flinching. But, Doom Fox managed to get a couple more shots on her.
Finally taking her down. Now, this weapon of mass destruction is finally mine. Oh, she had an EMP launcher, too.
She wasn't even a danger. While Doomfox was fighting for her life, Avocado was putting everyone else into cryosleep so they don't die, allowing us to tend to them one at a time. With the loot gathered from our space exploration, our jump distance increased dramatically.
With our nuclear generators, we no longer needed to destroy entire forests just to keep the lights on. We built a hydroponic section in the ship, allowing us to have our own portable rice farm, which we use to both fuel the [music] ship and fuel the people running the ship. Talk about efficiency.
Now, it was here where I started to get dissatisfied with this playthrough. I wanted to build a industrial prison complex in space, and yet all our prisoners died 5 hours ago because a window was left open. This needed to change, so I paid a visit to our toxic friends to return the favor.
As we landed the ship, it turns out I had a long- lost lover named Luxembourg. I genuinely have no idea how this happened. Upon landing, I realized there was a problem, but there's no time to deal with that right now, as we are currently being swarmed.
Oh god, this is really bad. Anton 3, eager to join his brothers in the cold, hard ground, decided that the best place for him to be was in the front lines. It seems that he's hellbent on killing himself, but I didn't raise my daughter to be a little weakling.
[music] So, at the ripe old age of four, she killed her first peasant. I'm just so proud of you, Anton. You've received your first grievous womb.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to get emotional. Anyone that survived the battle was immediately captured.
Then we flew to our next location, raiding a small primitive tribe, which, as you could imagine, didn't stand a chance. Except they did slightly annoy me by smashing [music] up my pantry. Now that we finally had some prisoners again, we decided to stick around the settlement for a few [music] days, expanding our crew quarters, repairing our vag suits, and harvesting the tribal drugs.
Then Anton 3 decided to go play with some foxes. >> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Tuck and roll.
Tuck and roll, Anton. >> I don't know why all my children yearn for death's sweet embrace, but death took the first two, and I'll be damned if I let him take the third one. But Death needed to claim somebody.
A few hours later, we were clearing out a disgusting bug nest. Everything was going completely fine until we went too deep. The fight was going pretty well until a poorly timed grenade took out Avocado.
Terrified that we were going to get turned into insect food, I called in some reinforcements. Fortunately, we were able to kill the queen quite easily. And this, my dear friends, is where the problems began.
When we went back to get the loot, we got jumped. Once again, I pulled out the useless biomutation lance. As per usual, it makes the situation worse.
Sen gets jumped from behind. In my panic, I use the lance again. So now, instead of two enemies, there's six.
I mobilize a rescue team to save those idiots. The team arrives patching up our wounded friends and clearing out all the hostiles. Or so I thought as another group of bugs showed up.
Because we wasted valuable time killing bugs. Sansen bled out. But the blood toll has not been paid just yet.
20 minutes later, Avocado ran right into one of our traps, killing himself instantly. This is some Final Destination [ __ ] So, we had to promote one of our part-time employees to take his place. In fact, we did a lot of promoting in this time.
We would need all the help we could get because we just received a transmission. We know where Robo Stalin is hiding. But I need more time to prepare.
I built a long-range mineral scanner. With it, I was able to get as much plastile as I could ever need. Installing marine armor on every single one of my crew.
And with the boys decked out in the highest quality gear, it's time we took the fight to the wirebacks. So, here we are at the end of it all, the birthplace of the vile tins. [music] I immediately got to work disposing of this garbage.
Clearing them out was a long and arduous process. The entire platform is littered with turrets, but they are no match for our shield belts. In order to finish off Robboto, we need to destroy the three stabilizers keeping him alive.
These stabilizers are hidden somewhere [music] in these buildings, which are heavily guarded by screw spawn. We are losing employees left and right. But it's okay because only the no names died.
[music] I conscripted Anton 3 and his brother Adam John to help with the fighting. Limbs were also being disposed of at a rapid rate, so Albido had to quickly craft new ones, then half-hazardly glue them back onto people. Using tight hallways as choke points, we were able to easily clear out buildings.
Slowly, one by one, the stabilizers fell. All that's left is Robo Stalin himself, so I sent in my bravest warriors with shield belts. The turrets didn't stand a chance.
Finally, it's over. And right as I was about to destroy this ancient evil forever, it spoke to me. It would be stupid to just destroy it, right?
Think of what I could do. With the AI on my side, I would be unstoppable. The world could be my prison.
As I removed the machine's core, ready to rebuild the world as I saw fit, I felt a hand grab my shoulder. It was Albido. He [music] was trying to tell me something.
I looked into his dead, unfeilling eyes, the very same eyes my son gazed into all those years ago, and I saw something. Humanity. The mech link sticking out of his head began woring softly.
And in an instant, the humanity I had seen was gone. That's when I realized Albido wasn't the monster that I thought he was. I was the one that let the monster in.
In this brief moment, I realized Albo is more human than I'll ever be. I looked at the core in my hands and smashed it. Many thanks to my patreons.
I love you dearly. I can't thank you enough for the support that you guys have shown me. If you like this video, consider subscribing or don't.
I can't force you. And I will continue to make videos until the end of my natural life. And then when inevitably a necromancer raises me from the dead, I will continue to make as many videos as I can.
