My mom chose my brother over me and refused to attend my wedding because his and his girlfriend's..

My mom chose my brother over me and refused to attend my wedding because his and his girlfriend's anniversary party was more important to her. But when my grandparents called her out for her favoritism and threatened to cut her out of their inheritance, she begged for a second chance. Now she's demanding that we redo the entire wedding.

My mother has always shown favoritism toward my older brother, Marvin, over me. I can't quite pinpoint what it is about Marvin that makes him her favorite, but she has adored him since our childhood and has never hidden that fact from me. When I was born just a year after Marvin, my parents decided to give me to my grandparents to be raised by them for 8 years.

My mother found it too overwhelming to care for both me and Marvin at the same time. According to my grandparents, my mother was going through postpartum depression, which made it difficult for her to care for both me and Marvin. My grandparents didn't put up much of a fight when my mother wanted to give me up to them, understanding the severity of her condition.

My dad couldn't manage to take care of me all alone while also handling his job. As a baby, I had no idea that my grandparents were not my real parents, so I grew up in their loving and blissful household feeling secure and happy. However, as I started to walk and understand words, things began to change.

My parents would come to visit me occasionally, and during these visits, they would explain that they were my real parents and that my stay with my grandparents was only temporary. These visits were always bittersweet and confusing for me. On one hand, I was excited to see my parents; on the other hand, I felt a sense of confusion and abandonment.

I would watch my parents spend two to three hours with me playing and talking, but then they would bid me goodbye and leave to go back home, taking Marvin with them. This pattern continued, and it became clear to me that Marvin was always their priority. While my grandparents provided me with all the love and care they could, the brief visits from my parents left me feeling like I was unwanted.

Finally, when I turned 8 years old, my parents brought me back home. At first, I was excited to return to my family and finally be reunited with them. However, the excitement slowly faded as I began to realize just how much better my life had been with my grandparents.

One of the first changes I had to adapt to was sharing a room with Marvin. Marvin had always had his own room, and there was a spare bedroom that my parents could have given me. Instead, they insisted that Marvin and I share a room so that we could bond as brothers.

Marvin hated this new arrangement and made his disdain quite clear to me. If I played too loudly or read comic books that my grandparents had bought for me, Marvin would mock me, calling me a brat and a weirdo. Whenever I tried to decorate my side of the room with drawings or posters of my favorite superheroes, Marvin would scoff and call me childish.

If I brought home a good grade from school and excitedly showed it to my parents, Marvin would roll his eyes and sarcastically call me the teacher's pet. When I practiced playing the keyboard my grandparents had gifted me, Marvin would tell me I sounded awful and should just give up. Even small things like how I organized my toys or the way I talked about my day became reasons for Marvin to ridicule me.

He would call me names like nerd or dork whenever I showed interest in reading or learning something new. With time, I realized that the things I enjoyed doing became points of contention. The warmth and acceptance I had felt at my grandparents' home were replaced with a constant sense of tension and conflict.

Marvin had a problem with everything I did, and it made me self-conscious. Imagine your older brother, someone you look up to, making fun of you for every small thing. It makes you start doubting yourself.

I was too young to understand that what he was doing was basically teasing me. I thought maybe I was the problem, and I just wanted to fit in with my family. I stopped reading my comic books at home and would only read them in my school library.

I stopped playing with my keyboard altogether. I did all of this thinking that maybe, hopefully, my brother would accept me if I changed. Unfortunately, no matter how much I tried to adapt and fit in, Marvin's attitude towards me didn't improve.

The more I tried to please him, the more I felt like I was losing parts of myself. Even when I stopped doing all those things that annoyed Marvin, he would find new ways to mock me. I remember in my childhood, I had a lot of pimples due to a skin condition which has since been remedied.

Marvin would constantly tell me how ugly I looked and that my face was disgusting. Hearing this was so hurtful that I would cry and go to my parents. Instead of supporting me and telling Marvin off, my mother would tell me to stop crying and be a man.

Dad wasn't much help either; he would try to stay away from the matter. Mom would tell me how I needed to stand up to my brother. Instead of coming to her as a result due to Marvin's teased and my parents' inability to make me feel safe and loved, I felt confused and isolated.

I longed for the nurturing environment I had with my grandparents, where I had always felt valued and understood. My grandparents did come to my parents' house to talk about my brother's behavior. But instead of listening to my grandparents, my parents brushed off their concerns, saying that boys will be boys.

This dismissive attitude towards my struggles made me feel even more alone and unloved. Now, as I prepare to redo my wedding at my mother's insistence, I can't help but feel like I'm once again being pushed aside for my brother. The wounds from my childhood have not fully healed, and the favoritism that has always been present in my family is still evident.

I just hope that one day, my mother will see me for who I am and love me unconditionally, just as my grandparents did. Visit me whenever they could, and when they did, they would try to gently talk to Marvin and tell him not to trouble me. But he never paid them any heed; hence, most of the time, I was left alone to deal with things at home.

As I started growing up, I slowly became a very angry teenager. I remember that even though Marvin was older than me, I was getting taller than him, and he did not like that at all. He would tease me about my height, calling me a giant or Slender Man to piss me off.

However, this time, instead of asking my parents for help, I started giving it back to him by calling him a shrimp. I would also knowingly hide his books on the top shelf or above the cupboard so he would not be able to reach them without a chair, which would then give me a reason to make fun of him. He would complain to our parents, and I would sometimes get scolded, but I still felt a mix of satisfaction and guilt for retaliating.

While it felt good to stand up for myself, it also meant that our home was becoming an even more hostile environment. The battles between us became more frequent and intense, with neither of us willing to back down. The last straw that proved to me exactly how much my parents favored my brother over me was during my school's annual award ceremony.

I had poured my heart into my studies and was poised to receive the top award in my class. I wanted my parents' support and presence at the ceremony, hoping for their pride and encouragement. However, just days before the ceremony, my mother informed me that Marvin had a swimming competition scheduled on the same day.

Despite my ceremony and his competition being hours apart, Marvin wanted to focus on his preparation, and according to my mother, he needed her more. She assured me that my dad would be there to support me. Though disappointed, I resigned myself to the idea that at least one parent would be there for me.

On the day of the ceremony, I was shocked when even my dad didn't show up at the last minute. Apparently, my mom had called him urgently, saying Marvin was having a panic attack before his competition and needed him there to calm him down. Dad chose to rush to Marvin's side instead of coming to my award ceremony.

When I walked up to receive my award, I remember seeing no familiar face in the audience cheering me on. I felt nothing but a profound sense of loneliness and abandonment. Later, when I returned home, both my parents and Marvin were absent.

I called them only to learn that they were still with Marvin. Hours passed before they returned, jubilant and celebrating Marvin's victory in his competition. He held an award in his hands as they told me how well my brother had performed in the competition.

They hugged him tightly and praised his accomplishments as if it were the most significant event of the year. I couldn't shake the jealousy and hurt I felt at that moment. My parents didn't even apologize to me for missing out on my ceremony.

Clearly, it was a stark realization of where I stood in my parents' priorities. Despite my hard work and achievements, I was always overshadowed and unappreciated compared to Marvin. This entire thing became a turning point in my understanding of how my parents viewed us and shaped my perception of myself within my own family.

I started to stop asking my parents for help or for them to be present. I stopped thinking that I could depend on them whenever I performed well in my studies or sports. I no longer bothered telling them anything.

The only people I could talk freely about my achievements were my grandparents, and they always appreciated me even for small things. Their words meant more to me than any recognition from my parents ever could. When Marvin graduated from high school and was accepted into a prestigious university, my parents made a huge celebration out of it.

They were bursting with pride, bragging about his achievements to everyone and hosting a party in his honor. I joined in congratulating my brother because I genuinely felt happy for him. A year later, when I graduated from high school with acceptance into an Ivy League college, my parents did nothing of the sort.

Seeing this, my grandparents wanted to celebrate my achievement by organizing a small gathering with close relatives and some of my friends from school. Initially intended to be a modest affair, word spread, and many more family members and friends expressed their desire to join and show their support for me. However, my parents expressed their disapproval, deeming this celebration as over the top.

They felt that I didn't deserve such a lavish celebration, especially since they hadn't done the same for Marvin when he graduated. Admittedly, the party that my grandparents were throwing for me was indeed more lavish than the one my brother had when he graduated. However, I wish my parents could have let me have just one day without complaining.

My mother argued that Marvin would feel really bad if he found out that our grandparents were celebrating me with a party, especially considering they had only given him a watch when he graduated. My grandfather, visibly upset, reminded my mother how he and his grandmother always had to step in to support and celebrate me because my parents never did that. He pointed out how my parents had enthusiastically celebrated Marvin's achievements but seemed indifferent to mine.

My grandmother echoed his sentiments, questioning why there was a double standard in celebrating their children's successes. In response, my parents defended themselves, arguing that it was challenging to balance celebrations for two children and that their focus had naturally been on Marvin's. Milestones!

Since he was the oldest, they claimed their hands were full and that they couldn't do everything for both of us. Equally, my mother further justified that just because they didn't celebrate me enough, didn't mean that they didn't love me, which was laughable to hear. Thankfully, my grandfather felt the same way and was not convinced.

He argued passionately that being parents meant being there for both children and not just one. He criticized my parents for not treating me with the same enthusiasm and support they always showed Marvin. In the end, my parents had no argument to stand on, so I did end up having a huge party just as my grandparents wanted me to have.

I had invited Marvin to attend, but he told me he was too busy to come to a silly little party. For years, my parents continued to show favoritism toward Marvin, even when we were in college. It was also particularly evident in how they treated us and our significant others.

While Marvin and his girlfriend were always warmly welcomed to our family gatherings, I felt increasingly excluded, especially after I started dating my girlfriend Claudia. When Christmas came around, my parents would extend invitations to Marvin and his girlfriend without fail each year. However, after I introduced my girlfriend to them, suddenly my parents had concerns about their dinner gatherings becoming too crowded if they invited Claudia as well.

It felt like a double standard. What made it worse was how my parents viewed and talked about my girlfriend. Despite her impressive academic achievements and successful career, they would find reasons to criticize her, which would piss me off.

Meanwhile, Marvin's girlfriend, who didn't work and relied on alimony from her ex-husband, was never questioned or judged in the same way. My mother's comments were particularly hurtful. She once openly expressed to me how she would have preferred me finding a more traditional housewife type girl instead of someone like Claudia who was so career-driven.

She even suggested that Claudia would not be a good mother to my children. Despite her remarks, I continued my relationship because I believed in Claudia and our future together. I even stopped attending family dinners and annual Christmas events to avoid giving my parents any reason recent to criticize my girlfriend.

I don't believe my absence had much of an impact on them. Now, coming to the main story of why I am on Reddit today. 6 months ago, I proposed to Claudia, and she said yes.

I had no doubts in my mind that she was the one for me. This woman has given me so much love and support over the years; I can't even imagine my life without her. When I informed my parents about the engagement, out of courtesy, wanting them to hear the news from me rather than from someone else, I was met with mixed reactions.

My dad seemed genuinely happy for me and congratulated me, while my mom remained silent. Later, my mother texted me to express her disappointment. She said she was disappointed that I had not listened to her and had gone ahead with a proposal to Claudia.

She claimed that as a woman, she knew other women better and felt Claudia would not be a good fit for our family. I was taken aback and told her to knock it off as I was tired of her constantly bringing down my relationship. I asked her if she had any legitimate reason for her dislike of Claudia or if it was just unfounded prejudice.

This is when my mom retorted, saying that Claudia constantly talked back to her unlike my brother's girlfriend. This statement left me speechless. It was true that Claudia isn't someone who lets other people walk all over her.

In the past, whenever my mother had tried to subtly mock her education, her outfit, or her career choice, Claudia had never let it slide. This is one of the things I admire about Claudia; she stands up for herself. She's aware of our family's history and, unlike me, doesn't hesitate to assert herself with my mother.

However, Claudia has never been outright disrespectful. Her responses are typically cheeky and sarcastic, but clearly my mother has hated Claudia all this time because of this. It was clear to me then that my mother's issue with Claudia was not based on any real behavior or character flaw, but rather on some outdated notion of what she expected a woman to behave like.

Hence, I told my mother that I didn't feel what Claudia did was wrong in any way and that I wished I was more assertive like her. My mother retorted that the girl was "bad news" and that she was changing me too much. I paid little attention to my mother's criticisms and continued enthusiastically planning my wedding with Claudia.

2 months ago, I sent out wedding invitations to everyone, including my brother Marvin. Despite not receiving any congratulations from Marvin after the engagement, I still harbored no ill feelings and extended an invitation to him for the wedding. To my surprise, Marvin declined the invitation without any explanation, which disappointed me somewhat.

But what truly caught me off guard was when my dad called to inform me that while he would be attending, my mom had decided not to come. I knew my mom had reservations about Claudia, but I had hoped that for the sake of our family and my special day, she would set aside those differences and join us. I was taken aback and asked why.

My dad explained that Marvin had apparently planned an anniversary party for his girlfriend on the very same day, which my mom was going to attend instead of my wedding. This revelation was strange since I followed Marvin on social media and knew that they had recently celebrated their anniversary already. I couldn't understand why they would hold another event.

Party on the exact same day as my wedding. Instead of confronting my mom first, I decided to reach out to Marvin directly to clarify things. Although we didn't often speak, I wanted to handle the situation with respect and dignity.

I called Marvin and asked him straightforwardly about the anniversary party and if that was really the reason he wasn't planning to attend my wedding. To my surprise, Marvin confirmed that this was indeed the case. He explained that he and his girlfriend had originally wanted to celebrate their anniversary with the party, but they did not have enough money saved up at the time.

Hence, Marvin admitted that he had gone out of his way to make it up to his girlfriend by working hard and finding a special venue for their celebration that fit within their budget. Unfortunately, the only available date for this venue happened to coincide with my wedding day. I expressed my disappointment and gently suggested that he could have chosen a different date, emphasizing just how much I would have appreciated his presence at my wedding.

However, Marvin replied that his girlfriend's happiness came above everything else and made it clear that he wasn't willing to change their anniversary party date just to accommodate my wedding plans. His words stung, and he didn't even wait for me to reply before disconnecting the call. Later, when I called my mom to discuss the situation, she resorted to the same age-old explanation she often used with me.

She insisted that Marvin would feel hurt if she didn't attend his anniversary party and reiterated that my dad was already planning to attend my wedding, so I shouldn't be selfish and expect her to come as well. I told her, my voice almost breaking, just how painful it was for me to constantly feel like she treated me as inferior compared to my brother. I explained to her that she could do as she wished, but I was no longer going to acknowledge her as a parent after this.

My mother scoffed at my words and told me that I should not be so overly dramatic about my wedding. After the fallout with my mom over her refusal to attend my wedding, I chose to cut off communication with her entirely. My main focus shifted to ensuring that Claudia had the most beautiful wedding possible and that our celebration was filled with joy and love.

Despite my disappointment with my mom, I was grateful that my dad honored his promise and stood by me on my special day when Claudia and I finally tied the knot. My grandparents, who had already anticipated my mom's absence despite their urging, were understandably upset and disappointed. They had even warned my mom beforehand, emphasizing the importance of her presence.

The fact that she still chose not to come struck a deep chord with them. What made matters worse was when my brother uploaded pictures after his anniversary party where my mother could be seen dancing and drinking like there was no tomorrow. The issue wasn't what she was doing but the way they both seemed to flaunt their disregard for my feelings about their absence from my wedding.

My mom never once called me or Claudia to check up on us or congratulate us throughout the whole day post-wedding. My grandparents didn't hesitate to confront my mom about her absence from my wedding. They didn't hold back expressing their disappointment in her behavior and didn't mince words while telling her plainly that they were fed up with how poorly she had treated me over the years.

They told her that they had given her more than enough chances to be a good mother, but she clearly only liked Marvin. They went as far as to threaten her with consequences, including potentially removing her from getting any of their inheritance. When Mom tried to argue back with them, saying how Marvin's party was important too, they informed her that they would make sure I got every penny of their inheritance since I deserved it more than her.

Now, this was a huge thing to be said by my grandparents and completely unexpected. My mom, who had been struggling to justify her absence at my wedding until then, found herself in a tough spot after hearing this. After her confrontation with her parents, she called me pleading for forgiveness.

Mom expressed disbelief at how missing my wedding had escalated into such a fiasco. During our brief talk, she lamented how unfair it would be if I received my grandparents' inheritance instead of her. She urged me to persuade them not to proceed with any decisions related to their estate.

Clearly, she was more concerned about inheriting money than fixing our strained relationship. Hence, I didn't engage in much conversation with her as I was on my honeymoon and wanted to preserve my mood. However, lately, after I came back from my honeymoon, she'd been calling me almost every day pleading for another chance to make things right between us.

She suggested Claudia and I should have another wedding and this time with just close family members if possible so she can also attend. She's expressed regret over missing my wedding and insists that I should give her an opportunity to remedy the situation. Her change of heart and persistent requests have put me in a tough spot.

On one hand, I understand her desire to make amends, but on the other, it's hard to ignore the hurt caused by her absence and the deeper issues it represents. I don't want to plan another wedding just for her to attend. Also, out of nowhere, Marvin sent me a text saying how I should not have involved our grandparents in our private matters and that Mom is really afraid of losing her inheritance.

He said, for the sake of her, I should stage another wedding just to restore the peace within. Our family, am I the a-hole if I don't give into the demands of my mom and Marvin to have another wedding? Update: I have talked to Claudia about this, and she agrees that having another wedding would be too cumbersome and unnecessary.

She believes I should stand up to my mom and tell her that she had her chance to attend our original wedding but chose not to, so now she can deal with it. I want to address some confusion. First of all, I don't hate my brother, even though my parents, especially my mom, have always favored him over me.

Over time, I've come to understand that he observed and learned from how my parents treated us. Clearly, my mom favored him, and he took advantage of that. While it would be easy to harbor resentment, as an adult, I would prefer to work on our issues and move forward.

However, it seems my brother is still immature and enjoys playing those same childish games. Secondly, my grandparents do intend to leave their inheritance just to me, not to my mom or Marvin. It's true my grandparents and I share a much closer bond since they basically raised me.

But also, they know that my parents are going to take care of Marvin eventually, so they want to look out for me by leaving me with their inheritance. Lastly, my grandparents were not the only ones who were upset with my mother for not attending my wedding. Other family members also expressed their disappointment to my mother for not attending my wedding, but she seemed indifferent to their concerns.

It was only when my grandparents decided to remove her from their inheritance that she started to change her attitude and demanded that I have another wedding to include her. Update 2: It's official, my grandfather has just informed me that he and Grandma have drafted new wills naming me as their sole heir and removing my mother from everything. While I had expected this outcome, it still came as a shock.

My grandfather explained that their decision was not only influenced by how my mother treated me, but also by their belief that I would care for them in their old age better than my mother would. They trust that I won't abandon them to a care facility unless absolutely necessary, and have confidence in my ability to manage their finances responsibly. Regardless of their reasons, I'm grateful and touched by the depth of love my grandparents have shown me through this decision.

It's a stark contrast to how I've often felt less prioritized by my own parents. As you can imagine, this news hasn't gone over well with my mother. She's been calling me incessantly and sending messages accusing me of blindsiding her and claiming I have no right to inherit anything from her parents.

It's true when people say money can really change a person, because it's almost like she thinks I'm stealing from her when I haven't even received anything. When I firmly suggested that she address her concerns directly with my grandparents, she responded with accusations that I had manipulated my way into their favor. I reminded her that any changes in their will were a direct consequence of her own actions over the years, which had strained our relationship and influenced their decision.

Our argument grew heated, and in a moment of raw honesty or perhaps spite, she confessed something profoundly hurtful: that she wished I had never been born. She revealed that I was an accidental pregnancy and blamed me for causing her postpartum depression. She confessed that initially she considered giving me away just to get rid of me, but decided against it because of her parents' conservative views, opting instead to have them care for me.

She admitted that she loved Marvin more because things were always easier with him. I was deeply wounded by her words, but I told her I appreciated her honesty because it freed me from feeling guilty about our strained relationship. I made it clear that I didn't want to continue the cycle of arguments and hurtful exchanges, and that I simply wanted to live my life in peace.

I firmly instructed her not to contact me again and warned that I would involve the police if she ever showed up at my doorstep uninvited. After that conversation with my mom, I reached out to my dad. He acknowledged that some of what mom had said about my accidental pregnancy and her struggles with postpartum depression was true, but he reassured me that he never regretted having me.

I expressed to him how their favoritism towards my brother over the years had hurt me deeply, and he apologized sincerely. While I'm uncertain about the future of my relationship with my dad, I asked him for some space for now, and he respected my decision. As for Marvin, I sent him a lengthy text expressing how he could have been a better and more mature sibling to me, especially considering how much I looked up to him all my life.

I opened up about feeling incredibly alone while growing up with my grandparents, and how desperately I wanted his acceptance when I moved in with our parents. I made it clear that I never harbored any resentment towards him, and that instead of competing with me, he could have chosen to be a supportive part of my life. I also conveyed my disappointment in him as an older brother, and stated that I was putting an end to our relationship from now on.

Since then, I have blocked him and currently have no plans to unblock him in the near future. I am focused on building a beautiful future with my wife, Claudia. It's true I am glad that I have a really headstrong wife.

Her support and love have been a cornerstone in my life, and with her by my side, I feel confident. In facing whatever challenges come our way, stay tuned for more stories on Reddit. Hours.