This is Mia Khalifa. (Full Interview)

Mia khalifa hi hi thank you so much for joining me today i'm so happy to be here it's so crazy that you are here and i'm so excited to have you on um i want to start by talking about our story together and how we discovered each other how this came to be and like why are we here today You go first i will go first okay so when everything broke out with call her daddy last year i started seeing things about it pop up on my for you page on tick tock and i became

obsessed like obsessed consumed everything i could about it i needed to know every single detail and i was just so inspired by your strength through it all and the way you handled everything and especially by that first video you did When you came back the youtube yes that youtube video was oh chef's my god i think i saw someone parody parody it after the oprah interview saying like they photoshopped the queen onto your face after she watches this interview wait i did not see that it was hilarious like it was incredible you showed so much

strength and you made me a call her daddy fan that's amazing to hear because Uh well thank you first of all i had always knew like knew who you were um and then i remember going to follow you and seeing that you followed me and i went to dm you then because i'm like i need to have this girl on the show and then i saw that you had already dm'd me yeah and your dm to me was unbelievable so thank you so much it was basically explaining exactly kind of What she said about the

video yeah i mean i just wanted to like i knew i knew you wouldn't see it because at that time you were just getting completely blown up it was i love how you say that and you have like 20 million followers you're like i just like didn't know if you're gonna see it i'm like i'm surprised you even know who i am so thank you very much i think i started it with you'll never see this but Yeah no i'm a big fan so thank you and um and i'm a huge fan i to give

anyone context right now daddy gang listening i am sitting with mia in her house right now um and we hung out last night which i think was crucial for this interview because we wanted to kind of go through what mia is going to be comfortable talking about not talking about and just so it can be an enjoyable Experience for both of us and something that you're proud of and you want to put on the internet um because i've seen some of your past interviews and the people that interview our [ __ ] [ __ ]

i'm like what the [ __ ] are these people doing so i want to give you a hopefully a different experience today um but as we kind of delve into some topics some are going to be fun call her daddy topics and some will be More serious topics but i just wanted to tell the daddy gang that mia and i have had a conversation about what she's comfortable talking about today um and the themes that we're going to be talking about hopefully a lot of you will be able to relate so i want to kind

of go through mia you just explaining like your childhood and just where you're from and just giving a little bit of background on like who you are in case People don't know who you are okay i moved to america in 2001 from lebanon and i grew up as one of the very few brown people in montgomery county in the school that i went to um it was me and a couple indian kids and that was it i was the odd one out and everyone was white and jewish and i wanted to have a bar mitzvah

and i wanted to do all of these things that everyone Else was doing and eat the peanut butter jelly sandwiches in my lunch bag like everyone else and there was a lot of bullying and a lot of things that ensued after 9 11 happened so my childhood was a little rough i didn't have too many friends i was also extremely overweight and just did not fit in anywhere right anywhere um so i turned inwards And i i i don't know i had a lot of shame over being different not being attractive not getting not getting

any positive attention or validation from myself so i sought for it elsewhere and by the time i was 16 i was dating someone who was 23 and you were looking for validation through men yeah and we had a conversation about That last night i think to kind of go through some of your childhood i think is thank you for sharing that because those are like all themes i think that a lot of people can relate to is one being bullied at a young age significantly affects your mental health and the way that you look at

yourself in your adolescent years and then affects you if you don't get into therapy or you don't address it it Affects you throughout the rest of your life and the decisions that you make and the relationships that you get into um i can only imagine like you're saying you so did you move here around the time of 9 11 yeah in january so by the time school starts school started 9 11 happened and being in dc it was did you grow up in new york uh no but at pennsylvania but the northeast the Northeast in

general yeah i think was differently affected by 9 11 than the rest of america we didn't have school for like a week yeah we got sent home and did not go back for a week did you do those trainings of like if this ever happens again in school like everyone was learning how to like where to take cover in the like rooms it was crazy yeah code red drills yup yup and everyone brought like lunch Boxes that you have to like pack to like have in case it was crazy times in the northeast isn't it

so wild that we look at like the red scare and how kids were hiding under their desks like oh my god i can't believe they did that meanwhile we're putting up cardboard over the small window in the classroom right in case there's an active shooter or something Times have changed but it's it's kind of same thing yeah same thing but different so was it for you was it so hard coming from where you came from to then come to the united states and then to be in the united states around that time at such a

young age like did you deal with bullying around not being from america yeah the accent i didn't lose until like probably middle school so there was Bullying surrounding that there was bullying surrounding the way i looked the way i acted the food i brought to school basically everything i just did and i didn't know anything else so i didn't know if i would ever fit in anywhere i thought everywhere was like this she felt very isolated very so you said you grew up sort of from like a not a military background but you did go

To military school et cetera high school so you were kind of on like a i wouldn't say like a straight and narrow path but you definitely were not living in a way that like your eyes were on you your parents not restrict but like you're going to military school and so when you get to your adolescent years you go to college and like can you talk about your experience with weight in College and like the transition from feeling like insecure and not confident in yourself and then having that body image changing in college to getting

your boob job oh the crazy thing is my body image didn't change until maybe like four or five years ago even when i even after i lost all the weight between those few years after high school and uh my early twenties i thought it would fix everything i Thought it was my boobs that made me feel so low and so self-conscious about myself but after i got my boob that one was a breast lift and implants oh because of my drastic weight loss got it i had 34 triple d's and then i lost 60 pounds

and i had 32 a's but i had all of this excess skin to the point where the doctor couldn't put implants And otherwise my nipples would face like my toes so they had to do a lift and then put implants in and did the weight loss also affect other parts of your body not just your body yes so many parts like yes so and was that a journey too to try to get back to like what you wanted was that hard for you to struggle with it was really hard for me to Struggle with especially

having so many friends my age right seeing their bodies compared to mine i i looked like i had three kids like i had i still have all of this excess skin and stretch marks the stretch marks i don't care about it's it's the it's what my skin does when i sit and when i move certain ways that you can tell that's like there's no way to fix that other than having it Surgically removed right and i lost the weight in the worst possible way what do you mean how did you do it not eating just

being completely unhealthy abusing laxatives just doing all of these things to put my body through the ringer and lose this weight so drastically how where were you like mentally in that state of your life i hated myself i couldn't i there wasn't a version of me that i could see in the mirror and be Okay with i didn't see the person that was actually there in the mirror even though i had already lost 60 pounds i looked like a completely different person i did i still saw that chubby girl that i kind of hated and

was ashamed of and i didn't feel as pretty as i was so whenever i got attention from men i felt like i need to hold on to this i'm gonna lose it i Might not ever get it again like i don't know when this will pass again it's like a shooting star i need to hold on to this and do whatever i can to make them happy so that i can keep getting this because you hadn't gotten any of that while you were younger yeah if anything you were getting shamed about your body yes so

to get any type of positive reinforcement about the way that your Body looked from a man was something that you had not experienced so it was like something again i get what you're saying you want to hold on to that's a lot of weight to lose obviously yeah and we had talked last night a little bit about your struggle with body image and having openly saying you were comfortable talking about having an eating disorder and i think so Many women struggle with weight in general but to acknowledge and understand that you have an eating disorder

like can you kind of walk us through that journey and how you've well you're saying it's been the past what four years you started to really love yourself can you kind of talk us about like what that journey has been for you therapy I love therapy you said that last night you like therapy me and i i was like nervous to ask her because i'm like oh god like is this rude to ask if she no we need to normalize asking people yo are you in therapy right i don't want you in my life unless

you're in therapy why are you actively working on yourself last night i looked at me and when she said yes i was like okay now i [ __ ] with you this is amazing we get along and Then to ask each other like oh are like our significant others in therapy and we're like absolutely and i was like i will never date another guy that isn't in therapy no you're so like you don't understand that in therapy yes so you got into what age did you get into therapy 2016. okay like five years ago i

was 23 24 maybe got it um and it completely changed my life and I i've heard i've heard you say you need to try different therapists totally and i fully agree with that it's like dating yeah it's like dating it's like having a trainer it's like having a dermatologist like you're not just going to mesh with the first one and that's okay yeah so your experience with therapy has helped you dealing with that body image not just the body image with a lot of other [ __ ] yeah yeah Everything seems to tie back to

shame yeah it's the most powerful emotion a human can experience yeah it's crippling it's debilitating it can change the way you look at yourself you look at others you it's the number one thing that you should probably work on if you have any other surrounding issues yeah everything leads back to shame well i that's what i wanted to talk About so daddying mia and i had a conversation i think we're sitting here and obviously there is an event in your life that happened that i'm sure you're tired of talking about um and it has definitely

affected your life and and everyone listening you may or may not know about that event we're not here to talk about the event i Almost want to start now like after this big event after this this porn scene goes viral who was that girl the minute that goes viral and like from then to now because last night you were saying you're the happiest you've been in your life to have the most isolating feeling like you're alone you have people sending you death threats you have your family at the time not supporting You where like where

was your head at and like how did you get here today you know what i'm saying like a lot of people wouldn't have been able to get through that mentally and and your mental health i'm wondering like where were you mentally post that video so i don't know where i was because that is around the time that i started dissociating and just compartmentalizing everything And pretending like things never happened to the point where i didn't even talk about porn for the first like three years after i just went quiet never spoke about it anytime i

would do an interview that was the one thing they were not allowed to ask me about i refused to even acknowledge that i did it and it wasn't until therapy that i Realized how detrimental that is i can't just scooch things under the rug and hope that they go away that's not how it works you have to face them head-on and acknowledge them and talk about them it's it's that feeling of like i don't want to talk about it because i don't want to bring attention to it but i need to talk about it because

i need to Explain myself because everyone is just misinterpreting the whole thing right so it's that catch-22 of not wanting to bring it up and needing to bring it up because it's the it's like the elephant in the room everywhere you go right i remember last night you sang like you're at first the your your pseudo name mia at first was like hard for you at times to hear because You're like oh my god it probably brought you back to those days in porn and being like i don't really want to associate with that person

we were joking it was almost like the miley cyrus hannah montana effect where like you're living two different lives and that mentally can [ __ ] with someone yeah like even if i'm saying like At times on my show i act a certain way and then behind closed doors if i'm a certain way like if you're living two different lives it can directly affect your mental health and it's like well which one who do you address first mia or who you actually are and like how much of mia is you so i guess i'm trying

to understand like as a young woman feeling so alone in those moments like If you were kind of not thinking about it what were you doing in your life post that video like where did you go like what were you doing how were you making money i was working as a paralegal at a law firm and then i was working as a bookkeeper at a construction firm and then i was like okay i'm tired of living in this 500 A month efficiency it was disgusting it was so bad cockroach infested it was the worst times

of my entire life and you were not really making money no and that that was like such a like such a topic on the internet of like how is this girl lying about how much money she was making which i know you were vocal about how you basically didn't make any money from this The videos that you made and then they ended up making so much money and like whatever that topic was i'm sure hard for you because then you're living and slumming it yeah in a place that you're like everyone thinks i've made it

like i'm not i don't have [ __ ] i haven't remembered two million followers on instagram everyone thinks i'm living it up like that is not the case and you had lost your Instagram i did yeah and it worked it got hacked and then i i didn't i didn't create one for like a year and then i created one in 2016 when i decided to move to austin why did you decide to come back to social media because i knew at that point there is no turning back everyone knows who i am right i can't

work anywhere that's why i left the law firm job it was very uncomfortable for me to work there well Actually the company dissolved but i was very uncomfortable working can you explain that experience yeah it's very weird to go into a job interview thinking oh i'm just going to go back to normal life and having the interviewer ask you if if you if you did porn right there is nothing oh do you think they're asking that because They knew yes yeah they recognized me and i went to a couple interviews where some comments were made

and then i finally got a job at the law firm and then i got a job working for a friend's company at the construction firm and then i just realized i you feel uncomfortable i feel uncomfortable everywhere i go like i i can't be sent into the field they have To be careful about who they let in the office because some subcontractors are creepy like i started to feel like a burden on the person who was taking a chance on me and giving me a job wow to say you felt like a burden to the

people that were giving you a job yeah you are an educated smart woman who deserves to be at that job you made a decision in your life that a lot of women make I've made a sex tape with a boyfriend and maybe it didn't happen to go viral but there was a chance people's nudes get released people decide to do porn and back to the point of you being a paralegal the fact that you were a paralegal mia like you're i didn't say i was a good one no i i know you were a good

one no but i can tell you're a smart educated woman so like i If that was the first thing when i sat down with you last night i was like this girl's [ __ ] smart and the same way about you so but it's it's crazy to then think that you had to feel you couldn't fully get into a job and allow yourself to go full force at a job because you were being haunted by a decision you made in your past yeah um after you left and decided to get back into social media What

was your like mindset like who did you want to present to the world were you thinking that you were going to have to completely remake yourself or you knew people were going to comment like how did you think how did you kind of strategize the way i got myself to austin was i started camming and i camed in austin for about a year before i decided okay i i don't want to do Anything nude ever again can you explain camming to people that don't understand it's just like oh i had a very different experience with

caming okay um i was probably the worst cam girl in history mia i love the author i would leave the camera on in my empty room and hear like the tips go off Knowing that they're trying to get my attention to come back in but i'd be watching netflix in the living room shut the [ __ ] up you're like guys this is an unbelievable episode of america's next top model i can't miss it hold your money i'll be right back so you were just like not invested in it no i was i would no

the entire time i was doing it i was trying to Get my foot in the door doing other things like i was writing uh for this website called fansited i think their website hasn't been updated since like 2005 it's just it's so bad but i was writing this like weekly column of my top seven picks in football and doing all of these things so you're trying to venture out while also being like okay i need to try to Make a living and i'll try to do camming while i'm trying to figure out where can i

place myself and where will i be able to fit in not something sexually oriented yeah and complex took a chance on me and they gave me a little gig hosting a show with my hero gilbert arenas that's amazing also yeah it went well so you're living in austin you go from camping trying to now find jobs you get a couple gigs Then where does your career take like where does it take you so you decide i'm done with camming yeah when did you make the decision was that when you made the decision like i'm completely

done with anything sexual yes got it i think it was june 17th 2017. were you nervous like in that decision no no because i gave myself a one year timeline and i did it in 11 months What do you mean a one year time i only wanted to camp for one year and if i didn't figure it out that [ __ ] sucks i guess i have to move back into an inefficiency got it so you're saying you gave yourself one year of like you can rely on this like sexual aspect of your career but

once that's it's done yeah and we when you're saying austin how did you end up in austin because you're saying oh everything happened in miami oh like My worst years of my life were played out in miami florida do you ever go back there i went back once oh my god is it like scary to me it's so scary it also changes very fast right i felt like i mean i only lived there i only lived in miami for three years but i felt like an outsider going back right and it must be like kind

of like like ptsd a little yes Yes i'm very sensitive to number one smells and number two places right so anytime i drive by a place where like something happened or like i have a memory it's like a visual trigger yes very so being back in miami was like oh god there was streets i couldn't drive down there was places i couldn't go to food i couldn't order we said we're going to keep it vague but Toxic manipulative relationships and men in your life what do you think was like the reason you got into them

and how did you get out of them i got into them because i didn't think highly of myself i thought that that was the best that i deserved and even more than that i thought let me overextend myself and over deliver and over just just do everything to the extreme To keep this person happy because they are the best that i can do right i can't do any better how did you get out of like one of your most toxic relationships my most toxic one i actually got out of around the same exact time that

i got out of porn because i came to the realization that these these two things correlate right and i would not be here if it wasn't for The other thing so recognizing that made me it made me maybe grow pretty fast because it made me realize a bunch of other things about myself and the decisions i make but i think the the most that i took away from it was i have not been thinking for myself and i have been making decisions with other people's best interests in mind not my own i've been trying to

please people who Aren't worthy of that instead of taking care of myself and standing up for myself dude that's so profound too because when i think back to our conversation last night of you being saying it went hand in hand with deciding you were done with porn deciding you were done with a relationship the way that you've spoken prior to like about that effect it had on your Life it also makes sense then like how you almost probably felt like so out of control of like wait wait and i feel like everyone may have those

moments in your life where you go a little too far like you're dating the bad boy for a little too long and then you're in jail right literally and then you're in jail or you wake up and you're like oh god like i've been partying too hard and now i'm in Jail or i got a dui and like you when after the video came out how long after did it take you to be like what am i doing it took it took them it took a month or two yeah it took long enough for me

to realize i'm being put in danger yeah i'm just going along with what people want to do and i'm putting myself in danger like these aren't shackles i don't i don't Have to be here no one no one can force me to do this if i don't want to and as soon as i realized that i i knew i could get out but do you feel like what the minute you knew you get out and i guess that's where it almost goes then to what we had been talking about about your job like a lot

of girls i feel like don't get out of it regardless of whether it's porn or a bad relationship or maybe you're not happy where you are in your life at Like a job or college like the the concept of getting out of something when you're so deeply not only deeply ingrained but then in your situation to the extreme of like can i get out yeah is there where am i going if i get out into an efficiency in north miami the finances to be like oh i'm out of here i'm going to go get myself

a nice apartment A lot of girls usually cling to bad relationships or in your case stay in something because they're like i have nothing else how low mentally you had to have been to then how strong you were to be like as low as i am i can't stay here did you ever think once you went to the efficiency to be like i should i just go back no you didn't no and i i did absolutely Nothing for a year i didn't decide maybe it wasn't even maybe i should go back it was more so

like i i rationalized what caming was and i knew that i could do it from a place where i felt safe i could do it from my home i don't need to see anyone or interact with anyone and i can i can do what i want to do right so i rationalize that as this is the best decision i can make for myself In my life right now now i made the decision in a bad way i could have completely done it on my own but instead i went back to a place i should not

have and worked for them got it people that yeah that you know prior and that was my biggest mistake had did you i'm interested to know because i think like the the theme of loneliness i'm sure Maybe you can tell me if i'm wrong but maybe that was probably the loneliest time in your life yeah did you have any friends that like girlfriends at the time or were you so isolated i was so isolated i had no one but the guy i was dating at the time and even then my only friends were were his

friends so i had no women i had no girlfriends i didn't Really speak to anyone from back home right my family wasn't talking to me i just had these two dogs i've had i've had these two dogs since i was 18 19. do you understand how that sounds like i'm trying to like i have so much respect for you because i'm like you decide to leave the porn industry your family is not in your life at that point you have a boyfriend that wasn't Obviously the best decision you're also saying so like you're alone how

like how did you mentally where like you were just blacking out like where how did you even cope with that like i feel so i want to give that girl a hug i feel like any female being by i mean man or a female like being by yourself in that moment having no one to turn to no girlfriend you can Call and cry to like who were you crying to yourself and your like literally myself and that little efficiency on the ikea bed like i i spent so much time in my in my room just

crying or going for drives because i felt pretty free being able to drive and having a car um and at that time did you go out in public and people knew who you were i was v that was that was one of the Things that made me feel even more isolated i was so scared of going out in public because i was alone most of the time i saw my boyfriend saturday sunday that was it uh you know if if i saw him that week but i was alone most of the time i was scared

to go to the grocery store i was scared to go do laundry i was scared to go do anything that required me getting out of The confines of either a car my four walls because i had already been at that point followed to my car death threats rape threats everything you can think of like thinking at the time being banned from my home country like them literally saying you are not welcome back on our soil like all of these things that made me feel like no one knows what i'm going through and i don't want

to tell anyone because i Don't feel like i don't feel like the people i do talk to about it will be able to to fathom what i mean when i say i feel alone like i i feel alone globally not just like oh i'm lonely right it's not like oh i'm feeling lonely tonight i am but it wasn't until i started talking about it that i realized so many people feel this way for so many Different reasons right you don't need to have twitter completely against you or an entire army on the internet coming after

you for you to feel this way it can be something as small as your family just looking like girls that oh or men you have a family member that doesn't want to accept you and you feel only or you have a bad relationship with your parents or your friends you lose a friend group Or you're in college and you find out that your best friend was talking [ __ ] on you and now it's like do i need to find a new friend group those are obviously lower to what your extreme was but like the

concept of feeling so alone and having no one to go to is something every single person listening to this podcast can relate to everyone is fighting a battle that they Feel like telling someone about they won't understand when you i guess it's just fascinating to me you being in that low place because like i said i have so much respect like how we're now sitting in this amazing house like what do you have anything you remember other than those drives are amazing that you're saying you took um was there anything else that you would like

Have in your brain that kept you going like did you have a goal or did you have like what was what was in your mind of like i am so alone globally and i'm getting banished from where i was literally born like where did your head go to like what kept you going in those moments i i don't know my number one my dogs like what kept me alive and kept me from actually giving in to thoughts that were entering my head was literally my dogs I had no next of kin at that point i

thought like i had no one to take them i was the reason that they would be alive every day so they consumed my entire life and that's why i love them so much especially this one my firstborn you you asked me yesterday who's your favorite i was like oh my this one but like asks that right i know but i had to ask so your dogs which like People can like laugh at i think that's like very like reasonable are you giving me a bond with an animal absolutely makes sense my dog's in finding communities

online like i found a little sports community and i found i i just found different different places online that i felt like i could be myself and be at home and i didn't Really start to feel like i had a place in the world until i met my best friend in the entire world rachel oh who by the way is freaking out that i'm on this show we really yes shout out rachel shout out rachel ray i [ __ ] love you we rachel ray not the chef rachael ray not the chef oh not the

girl that jay-z cheated with oh my god i was like that was her instagram bio for the longest time Wait that is actually amazing and like rachel ray like really wow wait how did you meet rachel online on twitter we started each other one day we realized we were wearing this she posted a picture on her on her twitter and then i posted one online and we realized we were wearing the same thing so we literally dm'd each other should we move in together Stop and i said yes i'll move to austin right now so

that is when i up and decided i'm moving to austin i have a life in austin now i have a friend i have my first girlfriend in years wait that's so interesting because i'm going back to social media for a lot of people is the antithesis of everything they're like i hate it so much it makes me feel small At that point it was your escape completely because you didn't have to leave your house it felt weird saying social media was my escape because social media was probably it's like the internet spawn yeah the most

of my pain right but in the beginning when you that i'm dude the fact that you couldn't go outside and you felt so unsafe did you was it also safety but was it also like No i wouldn't i don't know if it's the word paranoia but um like does that has that man watched my video like is he staring at me through my clothes type [ __ ] my anxiety would completely take over and i couldn't look anyone in the eyes without wondering oh my god do they know right do they know have they yeah

those thoughts oh like even even being in this room Right now like i that that goes through my head right and makes me feel uncomfortable to like walk by people or get too close right like all of these things because like wondering like oh did they have they googled me before like have they looked at my [ __ ] before like is that something that like still stays with you today yeah and you're working on that there i am working on it Yeah i try and ground myself when my when my thoughts go to that

and i try and think and right yeah like where where what has have you gotten in therapy from that like where do you are you trying to get mentally when you go out because i imagine public settings for you i understand now like full ptsd anxiety driven yeah has this person looked me up before Not that there's any [ __ ] thing wrong with it but understanding that in the beginning after that video came out judgment societal judgment and shame was put on you you can feel however you want about it and you can have

your oh i shouldn't have done that or oh i wish i had but for other people to place judgment on you that's where i have the issue of like why do people continue to bring it up nothing is changing from the decision You made and to be the woman you are today it frustrates me to see people still commenting on a decision you made seven years ago if we all [ __ ] brought out our skeletons in the closet and continue to bring them up every [ __ ] time you post a picture or something

it frustrates me that that is one negative social media that they can make things live forever that don't need to live forever People grow people change um and again like i said you did nothing wrong so i guess the rachel you finding a friend because that's i mean any daddy gang listening like i think back to like you're saying you didn't have a girlfriend it was the first time i felt unconditional love in probably since i was a teenager so you meet online did she know who you were yeah yeah we met on twitter like

she Full on knew who i was right from the beginning did not care and from the beginning was my bulldog and she was the only reason i was able to go out and enjoy things in austin because for the first time in my life i felt like i have someone in my corner if like something happens or if someone comes up to me and tries to tries to do something or say something right because prior to that you have Been fully alone and then any man in your life was also how to hit an agenda

so trust also issues must be huge for you really helped me rebuild my trust in people in general and i think that if it wasn't for her i wouldn't be in a place in my life where where i could where i could have someone who deserved me right that's interesting i think like it's so Crazy because friendship is so underrated because i feel like a lot of time in the podcast i'll talk about like who is your significant other and half the time you couldn't maybe have gotten to a place to have a significant other

had you not found rachel first yep because rachel was showing you unconditional love and i'm sure the relationship and the dynamic between You and men was so threatening to you mentally at the time from what you had just gone through so then to have a female in your life maybe that was like the best opportunity for you to like start to put your toe in the water of like can i trust people now let's talk a little bit about with regard to your relationships um i know you had mentioned that you had A very toxic

relationship that was um you were young and whatever and you felt like it was very strange imbalanced relationship of him being older you being younger i've had i've been in three relationships in my life including my my me and my husband right now got it um the first relationship i was ever in was the most naive facade of a relationship you could ever imagine it I don't i don't even want to call it a relationship because i was i got married four days after my 18th birthday yeah if a guy ever says you're mature for

your age [ __ ] run run the other way and call the police probably just to be safe right just to be safe just double oh so someone used to say to you you're mature for yourself oh my god yeah that is like that is i'm too old for you but i'm not cool enough for any girls my Age like the modeling of you no that is that is their motto that's like what they wear on the patch that lets others know hey i'm a groomer right like i'm going for younger girls yes and you're

so mature for being a younger girl yes oh you're so mature for your age you started dating when you were 16 yes oh that's [ __ ] young it was so you kind of were like unaware even of Really what you were doing and then i was immediately thrown into the wife role and the i need to please him keep him like do all of these things to make to not make him lose attention or to to not make him lose his focus on me right his interest yeah yes because i i mean we talked

about it but do you do you think that was um half in your head half the way he was Treating you or was it fully by the way he was treating you or do you think it was still in that self validation like i need him to love me love me i think i was vulnerable enough right to where everything that he tried went through like a hot knife and butter got it it was just too easy because i was so low mentally yeah i didn't see anything in myself i didn't see anything special or

worthy or Important and i just i let him tell me what i was worth that's like a deep ass statement because we talked about that last night i remember we were exactly we were standing in the kitchen and we talked about how how unhappy you are with yourself directly affects the partners you choose yeah and that's why it's so important to have you don't have to have a lot but like friends around you and that's probably Why it was hard for you to get out of these things too because like you said you didn't have

anyone to be like hey um mia yeah i was so isolated he moved me across the country and i didn't i was in a completely different time zone than everyone else i ever knew i was in a new place every like couple years it was it was insane do you have any advice for women that feel they are in it They because it's so [ __ ] hard to see when it's toxic oh yeah and then the toxic becomes addicting and you don't know how to then have a normal healthy relationship but do you have

any advice for like one like how how to get out like it's not easy like and it's a process and i i know friends and and family members who have been in toxic situations that it's like it's okay if it takes you a year to First start self-actualizing and having the conversation like how would it look if i leave him and how would this and and your safety and what's gonna happen like there's so many things that go into leaving but for you specifically using your own story like how could you help younger women or

or women that are married right now who [ __ ] knows how old you are young You are how did you personally be like enough is enough like what was that journey for you looking like to get out of a toxic situation in a relationship because i couldn't imagine going back to the way things were after i after i came to the realization of this is this is not me this isn't what i want to do and it'll be hard and scary and i do not Know what that road looks like like at all right

i was [ __ ] terrified but i knew that i could not go back to that relationship because it would still be that same vicious cycle of the his perverse thoughts and his fetishes and all of these things that i'd no longer wanted to be a part of or play into or placate or pretend like i had interest in right because at that point i realized You don't deserve me i am better than you yes full judgment yes [ __ ] i am so much better than you yes oh my god i want to like

cry but it's so hard to tell women like you're better than that what you need is to it's first working on yourself to even know what you need and who you are not just working on yourself but talking to the people around you and not being stuck in that in that mindset of They're not going to understand if i tell them they're going they won't be able to comprehend the things that i'm going through yeah take that step it's scary but take that step and talk to people first a relationship i wanted to talk to

you about in the sense of like unconventional sex and things that you know there are some girls that are like hey like my boyfriend um wants me to peg him is he gay like You've had sexual relationships where or a sexual relationship where you were like oh this was different yes and and the process of how it transpired and how it unfolded and him explaining to what he wanted um can you can you explain that because i think it's not we're not shaming anyone it's almost like you want to explain the process of how it

was presented to you Yeah and in a in an accepting way like we want to talk about it's called her daddy like can you explain what that dynamic was sexually it was the most unconventional and eye-opening sexual dynamic i've ever been a part of and i'm not going to say who the person was um but i do feel like it was very much a shared experience and i was i was i was fifty percent of that great And it then becomes one of my life experience as well and i treasure it and i'm still curious

about it yeah so i want to talk about it because i've never talked about it before yeah i had a relationship with a guy who was very curious about being the woman in the relationship and dressing dressing the part acting the part to the Extent of me pegging him and me playing the part of the man and it started very gradually like early in the relationship testing the waters with just my underwear and then it extended into my lingerie and then it extended into getting him his own lingerie and his size and then it went

into full-on wardrobe and outfit and shoes And wigs like really good quality wigs you're like well we're spending a lot on this this is high quality sex base 400 on a wig once holy [ __ ] so and and um yes walk us through because i remember you had said like how did how did he first engage like how did he first let you know that he was interested in this like it was so minor basic right it was v yeah it was Like very small steps right and i think he at the same time

was was experimenting with it i i don't think it was something that was he was also you're saying like coming to this in his own like he's never fully gone through this so we were very vocal with each other about about what we wanted to try next and what he wanted to to do next and i just kind of was like down this is your safe space i tell you Tell me what you want to do next and i will do what i can to make that a safe comfortable enjoyable experience for you that ended

up being the only relationship where i was cheated on in my life like that was one of the worst relationships the guy that you liked yes what an [ __ ] yes you give him the dick and he goes to find new days oh my god not only that do you know how expensive fake boobs are No not like my fake boobs but like fake boobs to put on him to put on a man yeah you bought i invested so much into that really i bought myself a dick and you tits okay and where do

i get where does that get me chewed on wait you bought him boobs yes and you bought him wigs yes why were you buying it not him just because you had the money or no Yeah you were just doing or you were just go to the store and get the [ __ ] yeah i would go and like try it on and got it like the wigs and stuff so you were fully committed to this which is great on you and we didn't you say last night that was some of the best sex you had

ever had though yes because it was just it like all your inhibitions were both down and you're just like we're trying something So different when someone puts all of their guards down and no pun intended but they're right in front of you and probably the most vulnerable position they will ever be in their entire life you can't help but feel a connection there's something about going there the vulnerability aspect yes like sorry but pegging your dude in front of you like that man is on all fours and that becomes a shared Experience exactly like what

we did isn't just his experience it was also mine and it made me question things about myself like i liked being in that male role i really thoroughly enjoyed that like genuinely and right and i think i'm conscious enough now like as old as i am after all the therapy i've been in to recognize the difference between doing something to please a man And doing something that i also enjoyed do you think that had anything to do and i could be reaching here but do you think it also had anything to do with like you've

been so out of control in some things in your life that like maybe it was kind of hot for you to view to be the one i think a lot of people write it off as oh she's a boss at work so she or no she's he's he's a boss at work so now he wants To be like treated like uh i think a lot of people write it off as being that but what but what i came face to face with was my own gender identity and like questioning who am i who do i

who do i think i am like who do i want to be what role do i want to play do i want to be in a relationship with a woman where i can be slightly more masculine and Enjoy that dynamic and fascinating that opened my eyes to it and therapy also opened my eyes to the possibility of that is probably the case it's not it's not just oh you know i'm a boss at work yeah it's that's pretty surface level two thought i that's fascinating you had you had those thoughts prior to that relationship or

no i was in i was in a relationship with a woman when i was a teenager and i got it She was she was incredible and i've i've always loved women i've never i've never written off dating a woman but it made me it made me question what type of relationship i would be in if i was in a relationship with a woman and it made me realize i think i i think i would want to play the not play i don't i don't even know how to talk this is actually my first time ever

talking about i appreciate it because i Know so many men and women right in and what would my i think it was more of like what would my role be yeah it made me question what i want whether i want to be with a man or whether i want to be with a woman and feel feel that way because i really liked the tenderness that came along with taking care of the version Right of him that you know we explored together i kind of love that too that you're saying like you both were getting so

much out of that dynamic yeah and i think that's a huge point for sexual exploration to daddy gang listening it has to be mutual yes and you have to create a safe space for the person who is just being being yet being the most vulnerable can we talk about the Um thing that i told you right before this interview what um malala daddy gang this is my god this is and this is what i wanted to talk to her about because i was saying you know i i wrote down i was like the question of

how far do we let the public go in defining us as women before we take over and define ourselves and i am what i'm reading online before this Interview and i'm looking up that pakistani education activist malala who is the youngest woman to just win a nobel peace prize you tweet at her no i commented on her tick tock so you comment on one of her tick tock saying queen yes and she comments just recently created one and she comments back and mia didn't even know this until i sat down today good news to me

i started freaking out wait no you sat down and You're like can i ask you about malala and i'm like why why are we talking about malala i'm like because of the article i was just reading and how she commented back to and she's getting scrutinized on the internet i think i got up screamed and ran for my phone the article discusses how she commented back to you and said my bestie and she's getting was getting scrutinized on the internet for Having any type of relation with you and [Music] it frustrated me in the sense

that like why are we the the relationship between the two of you and who you are as women that says so much to me about that relationship why is this woman getting scrutinized for for something that happened in your past seven years ago yeah like that makes no [ __ ] sense to you and so i thought that that article was Profound in the sense of like people on the internet just want to bring up negative [ __ ] to bring up negative [ __ ] you have two unbelievably educated women who are yes in

their careers doing different things but at the end of the day the fact that she has she has respect for you and you have respect for her and then there's people [ __ ] on her for associating with you Like has that how has that affected you mentally and like have you had issues with people not wanting to work with you or like backlash like explain that kind of yeah i mean i've been rejected from a lot of female hosted podcasts like oh not not brand safe sorry like oh well on call her daddy here

sweetheart we don't focus on brand safe we focus on real and authentic We focus on not losing our sponsors every week yeah well i thankfully i have sponsors that trust me so here we go thank god but no i know what you're saying so people have have turned you away i've had brands turned me away i've had podcast hopes turn me away i've had people tell other people not to associate with me because of my past like i've i'm very used to having that Door shut in my face but it hurts a little bit more

when it comes from women and it hurts a little like it hurts even more when i see other women getting [ __ ] for interacting with me like mina harris started getting [ __ ] for following me on twitter and i started to have imposter syndrome like oh yeah this woman is a badass leader Right so her her female voice is so incredible and impactful i should probably just deactivate my twitter i'm not worthy of having a follow from her i'm embarrassed for anything that's ever been on my twitter anything i've ever said because i

don't want to disappoint this person and this person is like clean and untouched and right you know what i mean Well i think mia won she clearly see something in you she made the decision to follow you no one forced her to follow you so give yourself a little bit more credit because seriously like she followed you for a reason also like thinking about how i've changed as a person in the past year past two years past three years not saying that you need to change and like We need to wipe clean anything you've done

you've done nothing no it's not change it's growth that's what we've done we've gotten older we've grown we've learned we we see a version of ourselves that we want to be and we go after it and to be put down like mine is on such a smaller scale so i never want to compare but like but you run the biggest podcast in the world But i know but like we talked about this last night i was like i have had in the beginning before it got big my family people were looking at my family like

your daughter is a [ __ ] your daughter is talking about blow jobs your daughter is your daughter is blah blah blah blah and my mom got frustrated because the only comments that were ever made was like what does her father think what does her dad think why did why Why do you what is it about my dad that what's the difference my mother birthed me why are they so focused on the daughter-to-father dynamic and it's just because of societal stigma that people have put on that the dad must be so disgraced that the daughter

and it's like what the [ __ ] you just encapsulated middle eastern female issues in one fell swoop really yeah that was Insane the first thing that an arab woman gets asked is what family are you from who's your father like any time someone sees someone sees them doing something haram or just not up to their standards the first thing they're asked is what family do you come from and it's like does it matter what family i don't speak for them they speak for me i have my own person it Doesn't matter what yeah what

does that have to do with my family same thing that they need to judge your entire lineage based on the decisions they are watching you make and and then it goes now to someone following you on in or twitter now goes all the way to that to be like why does someone following you that doesn't mean that that person believes everything you do yeah but why it's just so crazy to me like and i Think it's been frustrating as females to sometimes like try to have a voice and then be if we have any type

of sexual like if i talk vocally sexually if i have this podcast people can't fully take us seriously when we talk about sex or we have had a sexual past like [ __ ] first of all [ __ ] all of you because you've all had sex you're alive because your parents were [ __ ] maybe i have a sex take some there that's going to come out am i not allowed to do something because like mia has porn oh my god so that defines you for the rest of your life it just it really

aggravates me to think about like the dynamic of how something in your past can continue to like people are saying haunt you why oh i mean it it goes both ways too it's either It haunts me like how dare you have done that or i get [ __ ] for doing anything i do now like i'm on only fans doing non-nude and people are mad at me for number one not being nude or number two having the audacity to be on a site like only fans and not do nude content we can you explain that

yeah what is your well one how did you decide not to post nude content on only fans i Just haven't done nude content i i was on patreon before yeah and i just decided to switch platforms i was tired of patreon it wasn't user friendly i hated running it it was too much work i just decided to do what i was doing on patreon but on a different platform and i didn't think much of it and the reason i switched to only fans is honestly it was meant to just be Not i needed to raise

a hundred thousand dollars okay to send to the lebanese red cross after the beirut blast and i thought only fans everyone's on only fans it'll be the best way to make money and then i got [ __ ] for using money i made off only fans to donate to the lebanese red cross people were like how dare you send this dirty [ __ ] money to lebanon we don't need this like What wait what you can't you don't you're not in a position to pick and choose where the money is coming from yeah what like

i'm being i you are graciously offering the lira is worth like a fraction of a cent you have no place to sit and nitpick where the money is coming from did they accept the money that's not on them It's the yes the lebanese red cross except donate to the lebanese red cross holy [ __ ] they'll accept money from anyone it's it wasn't the people who were actually in charge of getting it it was backlash from lebanon now there was also a lot of support and a lot of appreciation for lebanese people but what i'm

saying is you cannot please anyone you can't play anyone it's like Me is like i'm gonna use my only fans and i'm gonna take all my money a hundred thousand dollars and i'm gonna put it to an amazing cause and then they're like that's disgusting mia that's from only fans as you're not stripping you're not doing and if you were if you were [ __ ] putting a dildo in your [ __ ] who gives a [ __ ] you're giving to an organization and it's like a cause that you Are passionate about how has

your relationship were swerving here but like i'll go back to only fans in a second how has your relationship after being banned you were banned from lambda for how long until they decided that you know i was allowed to come back recently right okay and really my relationship with my home country has changed 180 in the last year and it was it was after the beirut blast That people really started to to to realize what is important in life like every everyone was taking stock of of things in their life and i think a lot

a lot of people were just more open-minded we were all just in a in in a mindset of we're lebanese we need to protect each other we need to support each other exactly like there's not many of us and Even our own are trying to kill us like we have to stick together and that is when the conversation around me and lebanon changed and i'm so i'm so thankful for it because i i think that has to that has to do with why i feel like i'm in such a good place in my life can

you explain to me what is your career right now like where are you kind of like seeing it going i i'm at a weird place in my career Right now where i can take it any direction i want and i'm so fortunate for that i have so many exciting things ahead but right now i'm loving being on only fans i'm really seriously loving it and it's it's not just me being on there that i'm enjoying i'm really enjoying learning about the sex work community and Getting to know sex workers and hearing all of these different

people's stories and their experience in the industry and i think i think it's very very important to acknowledge that sex workers need to need to be treated better and need to have more protection but i also think it's important to acknowledge the amount of grooming that takes place online when people start Glamorizing the industry and porn and being a sugar baby and all of these things that are really detrimental for young women who are watching and listening and thinking looking for an out honestly and seeing someone post like that and instantly think this is my

escape because it's not i i don't i don't encourage people to go into the sex and the sex work industry but i Also will like die to protect people who are in it especially in the last year like just getting to know so many sex workers and people who basically taught me how to be on only fans because i for for for as much as i'm considered a sex worker i know [ __ ] nothing about the industry and i want to learn because i think it's irresponsible for me to be This quote unquote face

of it for better or worse and not know what's going on with the people who are actually in the industry that's fascinating because it that i uh respect you a lot for saying that that you've at one point really tried to take yourself out of that world and now being on only fans and knowing there are sex workers on there You do want to continue to educate yourself on a world you were previously fully ingrained in took yourself out of and now i remember seeing you doing an interview and you had said um even just

something as different as adjusting when a say it's a porn company is handing a young girl a contract kind of like what we were joking about in the perpetuity aspect When you're handing a young girl a contract just as simple as she's not allowed to sign it that day what about even just putting instilling that type of rule just because like you said you're sitting there with men staring at you as you're about to sign this contract the word perpetuity is on there you know what it means but they're staring at you and you're feeling

a little bit like I guess i should just sign this because there's three men staring at me and like i don't understand half of these words and it's like embarrassing and you don't feel like you're you just are like i guess i should sign it for it to almost be instilled that like there needs to be some type of guidance there needs to be a lawyer in the room to help someone understand what they're signing protection because if the industry is Allowed to target 18 year old girls those girls need protection in place as young

females or males signing something that you don't have an understanding of is detrimental especially when you're in your adolescent adolescent age of your brain is still forming how are you going to make a smart decision when you don't even understand what's in front of you exactly I mean there's so many things it's going to be cool to see what happens with our relationship because we had talked about last night um the whole like child pornography thing and like what happens when you're younger and if a girl i didn't realize that when a girl's picture if

she takes a nude and sends it to her boyfriend most of the time they don't prosecute if it gets spread around because the female Underage female also gets prosecuted for distribution of underage porn even though it's her double-edged sword so no she can't she these girls are back their back is against a wall because they can't report their image being circulated and sent around by the guy they sent it to because then they would be admitting to procuring distributing taking underage pornography how is that even it's so [ __ ] up That's like what did

we say last night we're like let's put our suits on what will we wear we need to write a bill right can you imagine yes we need yes i can daddy is like this episode has taken a turn mia and alex are talking about passing a bill we will be there in our next are going to be legislators mia i think sitting down with you has been One of my favorite interviews just because i can tell how one genu well you are genuinely authentic so smart so educated but also with your past to be sitting

with you today you you can tell you've done the work like you can tell that you can tell that you have been through an experience but it's kind of as much as i said last night like although you would maybe take it back When you were younger like would you be sitting here had all this not happened you know what i mean i think i think that i would i would take back the reason why i made the decisions i made yep but hey man it it made me grow up very fast yeah for better

or worse it made me grow up i did not get to have the same early 20s as most people my age and i don't know if i i don't know if i Regret that because i think that i would be in a different place at 28 than i am now if i did i think to hear the way you talk about your husband and to hear the way that you talk about your life right now my friend lauren and i are so corny recently but we keep saying i really do believe everything happens for a

reason you may not have met him you may not we may not even be sitting here You know what i mean and so to look at the positives of at what one point in your life was the darkest place in your life to see the woman you are today and to meeting you and i feel like i've learned so much from you already and i've this is the second day i've hung out with you it's inspiring honestly to be in your presence so thank you thank you so much for coming on call her daddy i'm

cheering up Thank you for coming on call her daddy i hope that i hope i'm excited to see where your journey takes you in your career and i'm excited to see where we end up i feel like we're already friends yeah me too thank you seriously thank you for putting out the things that you put out because you have no idea who you're inspiring and how much you're inspiring them thank you you made me you made me feel Like i can literally do anything i want i can start a podcast if i want like i

cannot believe she's doing it on her own editing it writing it doing everything on her own and also dealing with all of this [ __ ] she's dealing with yeah facing the internet sitting in front of a camera with amazing lighting and talking about all of it amazing lighting God it took a minute to get that apartment had great windows it did great windows great exposure love the way you had your walls set up yeah all of the shelves the brick the whole yacht we love it no thank you i have chills just like talking

about that video you see you seriously made me feel like oh my god anything is possible thank you mia you've been amazing daddy gang go show her love tag yourself where They find you daddy it's just mia khalifa go follow her on all things social media go subscribe to her only fans so she can continue to use her money for good i love you i love you okay how long was that holy [ __ ] you