there's one problem that's come up with almost every patient I've ever seen in some way or another they just weren't where they wanted to be they were stuck whether it was a pattern of anxious thoughts or unhealthy habits or they were stuck in some way in their careers or an important relationship but how do people get stuck in the first place and how can we help them heal it's a question I've asked some of the top experts in our field I think you'll find their insights useful I've seen people get stuck Ruth in as many
ways as there are to be human so when I see clients who are stuck it's often that explicitly they feel like they can't get through a barrier there's something they really want but they can't achieve it but the problem is motivation itself and willingness both of those things require skills and many therapists seem to approach the whole thing is if it doesn't require skills it's like if the person really wanted to do it they could do it one of the key things um that happens when I work with people who are stuck is that they
have a limited sense of I can't go forward or I have this compulsive pattern and I don't know how to let go of it and they believe that that's who they are the experiential therapist goes into the stuck place you don't try to get people don't try to go around it or give them superficial Solutions you go into the stuckness you change it from with a corrective experience from the inside we need direct experiences we need a new kind of social reality that emerges when we act differently and we sort of test our boundaries out
um I think a lot of people who are stuck are trying to figure it out in their heads first we do certain ex behaviors that at first you don't really feel yet there a little bit of you know in Judaism we have anos which is that first you do and then you experience it's in the doing itself it's in the ritual in the practice that the experience will come I think it's a big thing to be able to view yourself as an agent of change to create an atmosphere that encourages people to do things proactively
that instead of analyzing and anal Iz in and talking and talking how important it is to get people moving and doing things differently and conveying an attitude of wanting to experiment wanting to try new behaviors and making it safe to do so that's the important shift that has to happen not my fault but it is my responsibility to choose what I want to learn and how I want to behave going forward so helping clients make that shift is really key to getting them unstuck and becoming agents in their their own life again but if you're
waiting for your yourself to feel good before you can live well uh you might wait the rest of your life and um it's kind of a tragedy unfolds inside that teaching clients skills entering into a stuck place with them introducing direct experiences these can be useful practical strategies for helping clients get unstuck and move forward in their lives now I'd like to hear from you what techniques have you used in working with a client who was stuck please tell us about it in the comment section below and thanks for watching [Music]
