secrets. There's something we all have. And the other day, I asked you guys to send me some of yours for what you may have been asking.
Well, today, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be exposed in some of your deepest, darkest secrets, anonymously, of course. And I got to say it now. Y'all went crazy with these confessions.
In a bad way. Some of these range from Sweet Home Alabama stuff to straight up crimes, a lot of willie touching, and trauma. All this to say, I love y'all.
Please seek professional help and press charges if needed. I'm praying for y'all. Also, to switch it up, I'll be confessing something I've been wanting to tell you guys for a long, long time.
But that's at the end though. All right, let's start. So, I had a girlfriend and when we were chilling, she was in my apartment.
She was taking a shower and I see a notification on her phone. It was from my best friend, Alex, and it was I snapped. But instead of showing her, I waited.
I even married this. But at the wedding, before the vows, in front of her family and friends on the TV, I said I had something to show. Just then I show it on the TV and every single message showed up and she got dragged out the wedding.
By the way, I love your videos. I love hearing stories like this. Making a whole PowerPoint to expose your cheating fiance.
Love the dedication for the revenge and the patience, too. I wouldn't have waited till the wedding. I mean, I wouldn't have waited at all.
I would have been in prison. Double murder. I'm a quadriplegic in a wheelchair, but I can move my left leg a little bit.
Just enough to lightly kick some. Nobody at school besides close friends knew that. So, I would kick this one classmate when nobody was looking.
And when he tell people I kicked him, I pretended to cry and say he's mocking the handicap. Everyone thought he was a jerk for lying. And when people looked away, I gave him an evil grin.
This went on throughout the year and he got bullied for bullying me. I'm sorry, Michael, but not really. Yo, this is so messed up, but it's hilarious.
I don't blame you. If I was in your shoes, I mean, f it. Might as well test out the water.
See what you can do. See how much you could get away with. I had this one friend who was basically the weeb final boss.
This man had so many body pills in his room. He was incredibly obese. But worst of all, he played League of Legends.
I'm also convinced he doesn't know what grass is. I've tried many times to cure this man from his diseases until one day I had enough. I said if he didn't get rid of at least 15 body pillows in a week, I'd do something very devious.
He didn't believe me since I was the nice guy of the group. But he was dead wrong. After that week, I snuck into his house and threw all of the 35 body pillows outside and I set them all on fire.
The fire department showed up because the fire got way too big and still no one knows it was me. I also smash his PC with a hammer. F League of Legends.
I'm in full agreement with you. If I had a weeaboo friend, I'd do the same thing. Like, I like anime, but dang, bro, you like anime.
And honestly, you did him a favor getting rid of his PC. Not only did you get rid of League, but you could have easily gotten his PC searched. I mean, 35 body pillows.
Once you get past 20, that that's probable cause. We don't know what you got on that device. Okay, so one time me and my friend spent the night at an abandoned house and we decided to play around with a Ouija board and we thought nothing would happen.
But the minute we started to play around with it, our EMF reader went off like crazy. It went all the way to red and we saw a cabinet fall down right next to us and I did the smartest thing, which was getting the heck out of there. Long story short, apparently that house was built on top of a graveyard.
Love your videos, by the way. Ouija board at an abandoned house. You don't got to tell me what you and your friends look like.
I'm already knowing. All those incantation games, Bloody Mary, Charlie, Charlie, that stuff. Never my vibe for what?
I summon some entity, then 15 years later, my kids talking about some imaginary friend that don't like me. Mm- I'm good. And y'all used a Ouija board.
That means you're tapping in with every spirit within a 5m radius like it's Tinder or something. Yeah, built on a graveyard or not, y'all tripping. Back when I was in middle school, whenever my parents would piss me off, I would dunk their toothbrush in the toilet and flush it.
After that, I put it back like nothing was wrong. I did that for months, smiling when they brushed their teeth with toilet water. I haven't told a soul.
Sorry, mom. What is wrong with y'all? These are your parents.
They raised you while you were practically useless, fed you, bathed you, and you reward them with toilet bowl, water, toothbrushes. You think that's right? What were they doing that was getting you so mad that you had to do this?
Telling you to do your homework, telling you you can't hang out with friends? Y'all are sick. All right, so pretty much in 10th grade, there was this weird girl who had a crush on me.
She was crazy AF and would get jealous if I talked to anyone besides her for any amount of time. we weren't dating or anything. So, eventually when she asked me out, I said no.
She got mad, like crazy mad. Somehow, she found out where I live and threw a box over my back fence. And when I opened it, I saw a decapitated teddy bear in a note covered in red splatter, which I did not read for obvious reasons.
Anyway, since she was a good student, she got all the awards or whatever. So, during the assembly, I read the note in front of the whole school. It just how she was going to murk my family or whatever.
And I'm pretty sure she got sent to an insane asylum or something. I don't know. Love the vids.
All right, so this story is low-key crazy, but hear me out. I low-key think you fumbled. Hold on now.
Hear me. You can see this two ways. Yeah, you can see it as this girl might be crazy.
She was getting jealous, sent a couple threats. You know, she's a typical nutcase. Or this could potentially be the love of your life.
I mean, just think about it. If she's willing to pack you up for just talking to others, imagine what she do for you after y'all are together. No need to thank me, but I just gave you a crazy idea, bro.
No pun intended. Go to whatever asylum she was admitted to and go get her back. That's your love.
Quinn right there. This was a few years ago when I was like 9 or 10. I was dogsitting my cousins Oscar and my sister and I were playing with the dog.
I was pretending to be a dog and my sister said, "The real dog, the real dog will pee on the floor right now. " I peed on the rug as my sister watched in horror. We blamed Oscar and my mom had to clean it up.
I haven't told anyone. Yes, I'm ashamed for what I did and I cringe each time I remember. See, I was going to flame you, but I think you've learned your lesson.
So, I'm going to let you slide. I'm going to let you slide and you know, at least pat yourself on the back or the head cuz you stayed in character. killed my aunt's baby chicken with a rake cuz I felt like it.
The family grilled my sociopathic the whole evening and every time I pleaded not guilty. I was eight. Man, I hope I win your PS5 offer this year from Uganda, Africa.
Didn't win last year. Name's Ernest. Love your videos.
Took me through some college days to listen to you talk about stuff. Well, Ernest, after the story you just told me, you will not be winning that PS5 this year. This is my darkest secret.
I stole my ex- best friend's boyfriend from her while she was in the hospital with pneumonia. And two years later, she died and we went to her funeral. Four years later, we got married.
Okay. So, by ex- best friend, you mean she backstabbed you prior to passing away, which led you to take her boyfriend in an act of revenge, right? You don't mean she was actually your best friend and you just took her boyfriend while she was dying in the hospital, right?
This is so messed up. I can't even defend you. Did y'all at least tell her, you know, try to get the blessing or something?
I mean, should you even tell her she she's already dying? This is so messed up. You might be a monster.
I'm starting to realize I was in some really bad fandoms within my childhood since I was three or four. Don't remember. I was in the Sonic fandom, then the FNAF fandom, then the Undertale fandom, then the Sonic fandom again in that order.
I was about to be sucked into the My Hero Academia fandom before I matured. You cut it close, buddy. But the damage those fandoms did to me was already done and was bad.
Mainly the FNAF fandom. It broke my humor to pieces because of the content farms and my music tastes was ruined thanks to the fan music for a good while until I found heavy metal because of Metallica. And a word of advice to people who are still in a bad fandom, save yourself while you still can.
Trust me, you'll be happier. I'm glad you got out early, my boy, cuz you are definitely right. Some of these fandoms can get crazy.
Especially the FNAF and My Hero fandoms. Like, man, I'm a fan of both of these, but man, I've seen some weird stuff in both. I used to talk to photos of William acting like he was my husband and not Claire Athens.
I did more than talk to the photos. Y'all see what I was talking about? First off, Derek, I'd like to say I've been a huge fan of yours since your E fans video.
Please keep making videos. They keep you from wanting to blow. Moving on to the confession.
Make sure to strap down because this one is a lot. Back when I was seven years old, I had this very weird uncle. And I don't mean just the kind of weird you see from those kids across the classroom.
I mean weird. He worked in those fancy labs. I forgot the name.
They would look at the bodies of the deceased. He would always brag about how brave he was to do such a job and how much money he made. But what made it a bit weird is that he'd go in grave detail about what happened to the bodies.
example, how they died, what they looked like, and if they were female, how big their were. Now, being seven, I didn't really understand what he was talking about, but my dad sure did, and pretty much yelled at him to never bring it up again. But every time he left the room, he just keep talking about it to me and my sister.
I'm not sure why he thought a seven and fouryear-old would be interested in that stuff, but everyone's got a hobby, I guess. Soon after I turned nine, he moved states to pretty much cut contact with everyone. And for a few years, no one knew what was going on or where he was.
Fast forward to my 12th birthday and my grandparents get a call that my uncle was going to prison for acts against corpses and pretty much taking and selling body parts to shady people, which probably explained why he made so much money. What the not only was his habit of liking dead bodies weird, but apparently he loved the fact that dead people can't really overpower him. Oh my.
So he'd pretty much do whatever he wanted to them. My whole family had to go to court and pretty much watch as he started tweeting at the judge saying the court was all BS and that the government was a bunch of corrupted idiots. He has some strong political beliefs.
And in the end, he was given life in prison. And I haven't heard anything about him other than the fact that he bit a inmate's ear off. But Derek, I'm a huge fan of your videos.
Keep up the good work. I'm always watching you. Bro, I don't think your uncle was supposed to be doing that.
Y'all know how they be saying there were no signs? Yeah, that's not the case here. There were plenty.
The second he started discussing the cup size of deceased women. GG's. Foul on the plate.
Send that man to the same asylum that girl went to. On a serious note, I'm sorry you and your sister and your dad and your grandparents had to go through that. On the bright side, this kind of stuff isn't hereditary.
And when he was telling you about it, you were too young to even understand what was going on. So, you know, he couldn't influence you. I hope.
I going to be honest. I racist, but I love your content. I rarely see black people in my country.
And when I see one, I felt I'm going just read it normally. I rarely see black people in my country, and when I see one, I feel hatred and anger for some reason. Me and my friends are saying the n-word secretly so they won't get angry.
And also, only one of our friends is black. See, people like this just confuse me. What do you mean you just feel hatred and anger?
What? For no reason? It got to stem from somewhere.
Did a black dude date your crush in middle school? Did a black girl reject you when you were young? Both of these are still not valid enough reasons to hate a whole race.
But if you going to be racist, at least have a reason. Saying you just feel it. You don't just feel it.
You didn't come out the womb saying goooo gaga all lives mad. As for the n-word thing, why are you doing it in secret? If you gonna hate, hate proudly, man.
Shoot for the stars. Come to the Bronx. I know some nice products that will happily happily adopt you and welcome you in after you say it to their face.
Shoot me an email or a DM on IG. I'll fly you out. Thanks for the love.
Hey, so like I have a massive crush on this guy and he's kind of chop, but you know, good chopped. I don't know what that means. I've been liking him for about 6 months.
And during that time, I found his address, entire family's Facebook. Love everyone. Find out what happened to his dad in jail, his secret YouTube channel, in a 200 photo album of photos of him.
He doesn't know I took Facebook photos, driver's permit, and mortal, but I ain't trying to write a Bible in here. But in conclusion, love your vids. Appreciate you very much.
And I'm just a girl and he will be mine. He doesn't like me, but trust, I'mma get the bag. Now, some of y'all may be looking at the screen shocked right now about how she found out all this information.
And if it was a few years ago, I'd be too. You know, this is normal for my fellas at home watching this. Girls are little detectives.
Imagine Batman and Sherlock Holmes combined and now throw them out the window cuz the average girl's a better detective than both of them. So, just know whatever you think she don't know. She knows.
When I was 12, I collected my toenail clippings in a jar for 6 months. Convinced I could grow a clone of myself if I mixed them with the right ingredients. I kept it hidden under my bed.
nails, bits of chewed gum, a dead moth, some blood from a nose bleed, and a slice of hand that turned green by week three. I stirred it daily with a pencil, whispering nonsense I believed sound like ancient magic. It stank like rot in regret, but I was obsessed.
One night, I swear it moved. I heard sloshing, and when I lifted the lid, something inside hissed. I screamed and threw the whole jar out the window.
My neighbor's dog ate the contents and had to be taken to the vet after vomiting black sludge all over the living room. I never told anyone what was really in that jar. To this day, I wonder what might have happened if I had kept feeding it.
I love your videos, by the way. Drp the Only Fans. Am I tripping or was this dude just making Kenneth from Gumbo?
So, um, you know, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Britney, wait, what you mean, Brit? Oh. Oh, my grandma came to visit from DR, but she was so annoying and picky, so I put laxatives in my grandma's juice cuz I wanted her to feel sick and leave back to DR.
Yeah, I revoke your Dominican status. You're no longer Dominican. What is wrong with you?
You know the rules. You never disrespect abolitas, no matter how disrespectful they are to you. Apologize to granny and you go back to the motherland if you want to be Dominican again.
In elementary school, I hit a black girl with a jump rope and said, "Get back to work. " Oh my. See, for every white person that still blames themselves for colonization, there's kids like this.
I blame the parents. All right, last one, then my confession. I kind of regret doing this, but this story begins when I was playing outside in the backyard with my friend James.
We were playing football. We were having fun and all, but James kicked the ball into our neighbor's backyard, but he was traveling, so he didn't know. We went to his house to get the ball, but we found a pressure washer.
We were kids at the time, around 12 years old. I've never seen one before, so I was confused on what it was. I thought it was a gas tank thingy in the gas station, so I just pointed it towards the ground to check, and it was water.
12-year-old me was fascinated at this machine. So much so that I forgot about the ball. But suddenly, the neighbor's dog barks at me and scares me.
So, out of panic, I shoot the dog with the pressure washer and I didn't know it got hurt, so I just kept going for a solid two minutes. I stopped the thing and go to the dog. I look over to it and it's not moving.
The thing went straight through its forehead and I could see its skull. Oh my. I didn't know if it killed her or not, but I just took the ball and ran.
I never saw that dog again. James witnessed the whole thing, but he hasn't told a soul. I trust James with my life.
I do feel bad about this though because sometimes I see my neighbor outside and she's sad. I still talk to her though, but I feel guilty every time I do so. Yo, this is this is dark.
Like, I read a few of these confessions. People murking their pets. That seems to be common place.
But this one this one takes the cake. I don't even know what to say. I guess don't be too hard on yourself.
You were just a kid. You didn't mean to do it. But at the same time, dang, that that's that's someone's dog.
And I don't mean like dog dog. I mean your dog. Cuz you know when you love your dog enough, he becomes your dog.
You feel me? Dang. I really don't know.
Shout out James. He's really your dog. Now the moment you've all been waiting for.
My confession. But before that, it's time for a rapid fire round. I one time was so damn bad for a girl, she came to my house and used the restroom.
I went to the restroom when she finished and just laid my face on the toilet seat. You are bad at Minecraft. No cap.
When I was little, I had the biggest crush on Kim possible. I asked my parents to buy me a Kim tour for Christmas and I got it. I would literally lick it before bed.
I bought the Switch to Welcome Tour. I made my friends break up so I could date one. Then I broke her arm, pushing her on a playground.
I do not want to tell anybody this, but since you asked, I must tell you that I am the Rizzler. I see dead people. I love you, Derek.
My friend once told me he beat it to a girl bit emoji. I got smashed in the head by a chair in school. I smashed a chair over this kid's head.
And now my confession. So, I've been very open to you guys about things related to me. Y'all know where I'm from, things I like watching, stuff I'm allergic to.
I mean, I talk to some of y'all every day on Discord. I had to plug it. I had to plug it.
But it's important to the confession. On that Discord, I receive fan art sometimes. And when I say I appreciate the fan art, I truly do appreciate it.
All of y'all dedicating even an hour, 30 minutes, 30 seconds of your time to draw me something, that means the world to me. But there is one issue with a vast majority of those drawings. One thing you guys don't seem to notice when looking at my PFP, something that might change the way you guys look at me forever.
Probably not. And that is my hair is straight. I know.
I know. I don't have an afro or twist or dreads or curly hair at all. I'm like Cat Williams, but it's real.
But Derek, I thought you were Dominican. I am Dominican. It's not that common, but sometimes, even if your parents are both naturally curlyhaired, that Spanish colonizer Christopher Columbus blood comes through and creates Dominicans like me, the racially ambiguous ones.
I've been called everything in the book. Asian and black, Arab and black, Indian and black, Moroccan. I've even been called exotic.
I was hated and loved for it as a child. Older Dominican family members would glaze me, telling me I have the good hair. Yeah, I know that's crazy.
While the younger ones, they ain't receive the same glaze. So you could imagine how they felt about me. This treatment I received all ties back to some Dominican history I'm not going to get into now.
Just know we had a dictator back in the day that was more into white chocolate over chocolate and he was influenced by Hitler which led to Dominicans hating on themselves and each other internalized racism blah blah blah. But that's not the point. Point is my hair is straight.
Okay, it's straight. There are some advantages to this racial ambiguity though. For example, when I'm walking around white neighborhoods hoodied up and I sense an older white man throwing by my presence, you know, speed walking and stuff, I can simply take my hood off, revealing my straight hair, you know, letting them know, hey, I'm one of you guys kind of, and easing some of the tension.
Sometimes they they keep speedwalking, browner skin and all, but hey, sometimes they slow down by a step or two. So yeah, it ain't all bad. I hope y'all still love me and accept me with this newfound information.
I didn't want y'all to just keep drawing me with curly hair. It felt like I was living a lie. But yeah, thanks for the art.
Comment down below the confession you thought was the craziest or the funniest. I will be doing a sequel eventually, so be on the lookout for an outro or a post on YouTube or IG on the Discord. Thank you to everyone who submitted a confession.
I really do love you guys, even the deviants. Please seek professional help if you need it. Men and women, both of you, please.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. I promise. And yeah, I love you guys.
I hope y'all still love me. And moral of the story, I didn't subscribe to you. break.
Now we need a break. Try to run away. Try to get away.