hey everyone what's up thank you for clicking on this video I sure appreciate it we're talking about motivation today losing motivation and gaining it and getting motivated for our big goals in life or maybe even just small things motivated to do my workout today motivated to make a youtube video we're talking specifically about the infj personality type everyone regardless of personality type has issues from time to time with motivation getting motivated what can we do but we're just focusing on INFJs for now sorry other 15 types but I think there's the things in here that
anyone can take away from it so keep watching so we're talking about the three big things that can trip an infj up and like SAP all your motivation and related to those things how can you find a motivation or keep it up keep it going number one too much introverted intuition this is going to be an infj problem in many areas of life because it's our dominant function and the dominant function while it helps us out in in many circumstances will also be a problem because we do it too much introverted intuition is big on
planning you always hear about INFJs and INTJs who also have dominant introverted intuition they're always planning way out into the future we love to plan but guess what you can over plan you can do too much of it so an infj will take something they want to do and plan it so much that they begin to like with with dough if you're making bread if you knead the dough too much it becomes tough and you can't really use it anymore so it's the same thing with planning you plan too much it's like you've just ruined
it you've poked too many holes and it's like I don't even want to do this anymore so then you throw it out and you're like I got to start all over I got to find something else to do I got to start from square one this is in many ways related to perfectionism there we want to make sure we get everything perfect before we begin implementing anything but the problem is that because introverted intuition like any introverted cognitive function is narrow it's not broad its it hones in on like a few things imagine looking through
a toilet paper tube if you are lucky enough to have some toilet paper tubes lying around it gets very focused on one thing so it really over plans it feels like oh man I'm I got this great plan going on but it's so narrow that it just like forgets about a bunch of other stuff around it so ironically you'll be over-prepared in this small area and then mostly unprepared in all these other areas when you go to do this thing which will either make you never get started because you just feel this anxiety it's almost
like we know that we've left something out we're not seeing everything so we get this anxiety and we never want to start or we get started fall flat on our face because we just get taken by surprise by all the stuff we didn't see when we were planning getting stuck in the planning phase is a great way to lose your motivation and get burnt out before you even start doing any meaningful work so here's what you have to do you have to intentionally limit your planning this is not going to be comfortable I feel like
me just saying that has probably got some of you at home freaking out reaching for the inhaler on your desk you know digging for the EpiPen in your purse I don't know why you would need an epi shot for that but you tell yourself I can only plan for this amount of time and then I have to do something I have to get to work on it I can only plan for three hours then I have to start writing the next chapter of my novel I can only plan for a week and then I have
to start taking steps to get my business going it depends on what you're trying to do if you're trying to build a rocket to go to Mars don't say I'm only going playing for 30 minutes then I'm gonna build it you know be be a bit smart when it comes to that stuff but we always think we need to plan more than we do so just limit yourself say I can't plan more than this amount of time that doesn't mean that has to be all the planning it just means you plan you limit the initial
planning then do something get something done in the real world and then you can always go back and plan a little bit more but you got to limit it you can't just go effing crazy with it this will help you stay motivated because you will feel like you're always moving forward little by little and that's a great way to keep your motivation up is by realizing that I'm moving I'm doing things when you feel inert when you feel like you're just stuck and you can't move forward at all your motivation is just gonna dry up
like a thing that dries up in the desert Wow should I redo that and try to come up with a better analogy I probably should but you know what we're gonna leave it before we move on let's stop for a quick commercial break we'll come right back get on with the show all right awesome you're back number two when it comes to motivation is avoidance of the extroverted sensing all right so we talked about introverted intuition that's the dominant function extroverted sensing as I think we all know by now is the inferior function of the
infj and being that it's the inferior function it's the one that we are always trying to avoid we're always trying to repress it because we just want to do introverted intuition all the time we just want to perceive the world through that lens and avoid jump over the extroverted sensing which in plain English means we like to avoid doing things in the physical concrete world we just we would rather not this is why we over plan because we're just trying to come up with shortcuts to avoid extroverted sensing that's what it is and you know
what this over-reliance on introverted tuition and the constant avoidance of extroverted sensing makes us afraid of extroverted sensing makes us afraid of the objective concrete world like what is just around me I'm afraid of it because I've been avoiding it the fear comes from knowing that you're repressing it and that you're not seeing it clearly and that is just gonna sneak up on you one day and get you it's gonna overwhelm you just gonna swallow you up with all the stuff that you've been ignoring and when it comes to implementing these things in our lives
these projects that we're trying to get done the stuff that we're trying to motivate ourselves to do we know once we start to get our hands dirty there's going to be this crush of details that's just gonna come in and overwhelm us so when we get into these situations where we started to follow through on our plans and we get this sudden wave of details in the sensory that we didn't anticipate and they're just bogging us down rather than just deal with it the fear kicks in and we want to retreat and just go back
to planning again we just want to be like whoa that didn't work that blew up in my face let me just see if I can go back to the drawing board if you will and over plan some more over over plan and then I can find a way around it and the problem is it works sometimes that that's the kicker and the killer it works some of the time when we go back and we just over plan and then we get past it we're like hey that was great I clearly what happened was I did
the right thing there and the extroverted sensing is something to continue to avoid because I can get away with it but here's the problem sometimes it won't sometimes you'll go back to the drawing board you'll plan some more and then you'll go back and get your butt kicked again but it's going to be worse it's gonna build up and at some point it'll make you just want to give up on what you're doing on this project you'll lose all motivation because it'll feel like you're banging your head against the wall it basically feels like you
have this this great idea this this ideal thing that you're trying to achieve but you're getting mired in BS and it's like it's all these these details in the physical world like you wanted to like for example you you have a business you want to start you have this great idea you know exactly what its gonna do for people how its gonna like totally kill it out there and make a lot of money but you didn't anticipate having to like make a website how do I do that where do I sign up what's the best
place where was the best place to go how much is it supposed to cost what do what is it one of these things mean what's a domain I don't even know what do I go to GoDaddy Wow like and you just start to get overwhelmed by these stupid things it's like I didn't sign up to make a website I signed up to make a bidness I you know I'm here to save the world I'm not here to figure out what version of QuickBooks I should sign up for and so I mean obviously I'm making it
sound kind of stupid but you you can probably look at your own life and see where you've become suddenly bogged down by unexpected details and maybe even quit because it just seemed like too much so what you have to do to fight this hang on to your butts cuz you're not gonna like it you have to accept responsibility for it you just gotta accept yes once I start doing this a bunch of stupid BS is gonna come up and guess who's gonna have to deal with it me I'm ultimately responsible for it now you know
I'm talking about business and stuff of course a lot of times in business you just delegate it to someone else to do someone who is strong in that area but you've still got to ultimately be like you know if it all falls through it's on me I'm the one who's ultimately taking responsibility for it when when the things come up I have to deal with them I can't just go back to planning because I'm responsible for all of it and I think that once you once you take responsibility for it then rather than seeing it
as a stupid inconvenience and obstacle in your way that you shouldn't have to deal with you're like no this is how I'm achieving my goals this is how I'm getting closer to my dream is by doing all of these little things as inconsequential as they may seem in the moment and it's just a simple mindset change and as soon as you do that it will add fuel to the fires of your motivation because you will get that sense of forward motion like I said before one of the biggest killers of motivation is feeling like you're
stuck in place and when you can turn it around so that every little thing I do I signed up for my website boom that adds fire to the that adds fuel to the fire it makes you feel more motivated I did something I'm moving closer to my goal it's just a simple mindset shift of taking responsibility for the extroverted sensing point three is a big one and you're not gonna like it I don't like it I felt uncomfortable when I wrote it but to support this channel really quick let's just take another short commercial break
we'll be right back get on with number three oh hey you're back let's get on to number three you don't trust yourself what Frank why did you have to confront me with the truth there you might not think of it in those terms but there's there's this whole thing about having extroverted feeling above introverted thinking that sort of makes a person not really feel like they can rely on themselves to do things and make decisions like I said this might not be something that's consciously in your mind but it's it's how you're operating if you
in fact have Fe extroverted feeling above TI introverted thinking INF JS do this thing not just dine of J's but like basically all I J's an djs do this thing where they're like they seem to be bragging about what they're doing in their life and the plans they have and stuff and it gets irritating but you know what it's not like an ego thing it's not them trying to like and build themselves up because they think they're better than everyone else though it might seem like that what it really is is looking for validation they're
bragging about what their plans are and what they're doing because they want you to say wow that sounds great good job good idea that sounds like it will work out perfectly we need that kind of stuff or we feel like we need it in a way that's what extraverted feeling wants is people to say that idea that you have that's good and if we don't get that we wither we wilt we're like crap if other people aren't telling me that they like the ideas that I have suddenly I've got to rely only on me and
I don't like doing that I don't feel like I should have to take on the full responsibility of making decisions I need to make sure everyone else is on board like yeah I know what I want to do I have this decision that I want to make but first everyone else has got to tell me good job or at the very least I need to know what everyone else's opinion is so I get a general feel for on the on the scale of good to bad how good or bad is my idea even if it's
not even if everyone else isn't unanimous and saying good or bad I can sort of feel out where I fall you see what I mean introverted thinking is the subjective interior decision-making function so when to a degree like I don't want to make it seem like every little thing in life comes back to the functions but in some ways they get touched everything gets touched by functions not everything is like a function coming straight from it but when we decide I want to make a business I want to write a book this is what works
for me in my life that is in many ways coming from that internal decision-making process of the introverted thinking and we don't like to rely just on that like I said we want to get a variety of opinions about that ti that is basically what Fe is we want to know the objective feelings and feelings our values which is basically like good or bad do people like it too they not like it we need to know that's why the FE people are always asking people bunch of questions it's irritating we're irritating we're always like we
want to know what what do people feel in we can't know unless we ask so yeah and that's because we need to know like we how do we make decisions unless we know what everyone else thinks or feels now to a degree can do extraverted feeling as an internal stimulation in your brain because it's not like you it's not like you have amnesia and you don't remember what people have said in the past you know you can take the temperature of what everyone is feeling about stuff just by looking back on the past what they've
said about previous things that are similar you know what I mean and so in a way you might not have to bother people to see how they feel about what you want to do because you kind of know how they would react or what they've said in the past about similar things what I can't say the word similar correctly anymore because I just made fun of people for saying it incorrectly what a jerk the thing is when you when you have that internal extroverted feeling you can motivate yourself easily because you're like man I know
people would be on board if I asked them so I'm just gonna go ahead with what I want to do but sometimes you don't always know and that's when the motivation can get like sapped from you is when you you don't know what people would feel how they would react so then you have to ask them and maybe they don't like the idea and they or maybe they seem tepid maybe they just don't even respond the way that you want them to respond and that will throw you off and drain the motivation from you now
here's the thing people ask a lot you know I do live streams on the weekends people ask a lot of typology questions and a big big one that comes up regularly it's like the difference between different types people ask the difference between infj and INFP when it comes to this sort of thing this is a market difference an INFP if they have something they want to do they've made a decision and then other people say I don't really like that it doesn't sound like a very good idea the INFP might be a little bit hurt
by that but they'll sort of just be like okay well I'm gonna do it anyway because that's what I want to do because infps have introverted feeling as the dominant function they're sort of just all in on that that if they like an idea they'll do it if they're doing what they like they'll keep doing it they don't really care what other people think and in a way they repress other people's thoughts they're like it's not my responsibility to do what you think is a good idea INFJs or not like that they will I mean
you know everyone is different an infj can press past negative feedback but they are much more likely to be deflated by that if a bunch of people tell them they're they don't like the ideas that they're putting forth they'll be like all right well I'll go forward with it but I've got to like tweak it now so that they'll like it eventually or I've got to somehow convince them to get on board or you know what can I do what I gotta have them tell me what I could do so that they theoretically would like
it or maybe you'll just give up you know that's a big difference between those two types theoretically I mean everyone is different you see it play out in different ways but yeah what you've got to realize is that it's okay to tell other people your plans and what you you know your goals and your ideas for what you're going to do but you have to realize whether whether it's conscious or not the reason you're doing that is because you want them to say good job you want validation and that can trip you up ironically like
you're looking for a source of motivation through their validation they might not give it to you it could trip you up so realize that when you hear yourself starting to talk about what you want to do some people have even said that I even if they say good job ironically that can trip you up because it activates your brain in such a way where it's almost as though you did the thing you know if you say and I want to write a book and it's about this and everyone says wow that's great you feel validated
and so then you don't write the book because you're like well it's I did I don't need to write the book they liked the idea of it it's two two totally different ways that you can just lose motivation because of people's reaction in a sneaky way also we want to know what people think about it and we want people to say yeah go ahead with what you want to do anyway so that when it falls apart we can go and point at them and say why did you tell me that man why'd you give me
that bad advice why did you think it was a good idea when clearly it wasn't if failed that's like a way of us avoiding responsibility for the decision-making it's like well it wasn't just me dude saying it was a good idea everyone else do you see it's so ridiculous man like what are we doing so what you've got to do is realize you can trust yourself man you don't need to know what other people think you don't need to get them on board to do what you want to do if you think that what you
want to take on whatever it is whatever goal it is even if it's as small as cleaning out your closet just like mmm you've got to take responsibility for that yourself take it all on you I'm the guy making the decision here it's my responsibility if it goes well if it doesn't go well it's on me and I can trust myself to make the right decision even if other people don't like it even if I don't know what they would think even if they like it I can't just stop there I've got to do it
for me it might even feel wrong in a way because the Effie people can feel really motivated especially when it's like charitable stuff like oh man if I do if I build this house for this person they'll be really happy that'll be great so then when it turned and you know that's a good thing that's the source a good source of motivation making other people happy but then when it comes to something we want to do it can feel like we're being selfish like this isn't necessarily going to help a bunch of other people at
the very least that's why you want to get people happy for you if if they like the idea so it feels really wrong almost to be like I'm I just want to do this for me because I think it's a good idea and yeah it feels like you're being a selfish jerk but you're not that's the way that personality plays into a lot of things in life is that you think something is reality when it's not when someone else have a different type would say what are you talking about you're just you're just going after
a goal you're just living your life you're doing what you want to do whereas we're sitting over here thinking but that's selfish if I do what I want to do you know and you can find the motivation in yourself once you give yourself permission to to go forward with your goals and what you want to do without the validation you can you can take responsibility for it and be like yes I can motivate myself I can draw the motivation from doing it for me proving to myself that I can do it not doing it for
someone else I appreciate you watching you know if you want to support the channel I've got some cool t-shirts the link is below you can also watch these videos over here continuing to talk about INF J's and personality it always helps to leave a like on the video I appreciate that subscribe if you want to see more videos and until next time stay cool and attractive
