Be Easy to Be With BUT Hard to Get.

here we are in my garage my car is here my daughter is asleep inside so it's a perfect opportunity for us to have our deep and meaningful one of our dnm's one of our amazing videos that are luckily sponsored by better help which I will mention more as we go on but the reason I can bring you this content is better help sponsors it and they are lovely for doing so right let's get into the video this video is about your questions feminine energy relationships all of it is going to be addressed in this video

the reason I'm on my phone is because I am pulling up my questions from you which we need to answer here they are let's go through them and see how long my daughter sleeps in the car she always falls asleep in the car now she used to hate the car but here we are we moved we feel better about life in general cheers how has parenting changed your relationship parenting has changed my relationship first in 2020 and then it changed my relationship again in 2023 parenting look it changes your relationship in the form of the

fact that you start to really respect I respect my partner my husband so much more than I did before him as a father is everything that I've ever dreamed about having as a child I didn't grow up with my father as a child and just watching him parent has healed so many parts of me that I knew needed it but it's just been an incredible journey to watch him as a parent I respect him more I value him more but we have very little time together we are not like passing ships in the night but

we are like both running like hamsters on Wheels trying to look after the two children trying to make it all happen so but but there is something about it that's you know people always romanticize romance but I like to romanticize life because this is a very short period of time that we are going to be in the situation together him and I I think the most beautiful thing is to have a husband or a wife or whoever it is for you and both equally love a child together and want the best thing for them and

when you call them and you're like oh my God little Timmy said something you know they're equally as excited and there's no one in this world who's as excited as you so if anything it's heightened my relationship with him I know a lot of people experience the opposite of you know feeling like they're not connected to their partner anymore but I don't I don't feel that I feel quite the opposite so that's nice how do you incorporate self- Lov practices in day-to-day life your life and your self-love is going to change at different times in

your life okay for me at the moment self- l is the publication of my book selflove is putting myself first when it comes to doing things I want to do for work it does not come in in the form of I don't know nails and a spray tan although that would be nice to have a spray tan wouldn't it but self love for me comes in the form of putting myself first when it comes to work I've always wanted to do the job I do and as much as I know that it would be beneficial

for my children to have their mom 247 I give myself time to do my job and to write my book and to do the launch event and to do all these things and create product for things I believe in because I believe what I'm creating is important so that's my form of self- Lov my form of self- Lov is not bubble baths or manicures at the moment it was that at a certain time but not right now so it just depends what it is and if you need that selflove you need to prioritize it but

understand it's not always the frilly and fluffy things how to keep the black cat energy going after kids this is a really funny one because everybody asks me about this black cat energy but some people have a response in saying oh we don't like the black cat energy Theory but anyway black cat energy is being chased by your man okay because you're black cat you're like you know independent you're doing your own thing I don't really understand why people confuse having kids as something that makes your feminine energy go down if anything we need to

understand and celebrate the fact that femininity and being a feminine woman and being a black cat or being a woman that men Chase is partially to do with having kids too like you can have children and be feminine the two go together if you think about it it's not like it stops and I think maybe I come from an Eastern European culture and back when my mom had kids she had me at 20 kids one kid 20 and everybody did at the time so there's something to be said about the fact that having a child

and being desirable weren't mutually exclusive so for me being a black cat and being a mama cat is not different like you can still be sexy or sensual or the essence of being a black cat and I would put it this way is being hard to get but being easy to be around so if you prioritize yourself if you put yourself first if you make yourself happy first then you can put into other people never go out of your way especially as a mother you need to replenish yourself first to make other people happy because

what makes us feel really cornered and what makes us feel really unhappy in life is when we put our family first and we become so depleted so energetically drained and then we resent them and hate them for it that is the big problem so make sure that you're putting yourself first even with kids how long did you date your husband before marriage I met him in 2012 in September and I got engaged in 2013 yeah and we got married pretty soon after so yeah do you have a helper around the house listen you know how

you guys watch my content or listen to my stuff because you feel I've got a handle on maybe interpersonal relationships male and female Dynamics I have read and listened about male female Dynamics a lot I feel like like I've got something to give if there was a channel on finding helpers nannies and help in general I would be watching that I I think it's it's easier to find a man that it is to find a nanny I've had it's really hard I find it really hard to one of two things find somebody who I feel

confident in leaving my children around because who is that person like how do you know them how do you know that they're of sound mind that they're nice like you know how do you know from just meeting them but secondly availability timings can they can they not when you do find someone then they can't it's just hot mess Express somebody said having a child is like having your heart walk outside your body and the question is it's like who would you trust your heart with it's like a vital organ you know so I have somebody

who I really really like unfortunately she can only do it once a week but that is when unlike today I usually record my podcast but you know my kids still want me primarily why when you like someone you're the golden retriever and when you don't you're the black cat I think when you like somebody you are the golden retriever because you start going outside of your authenticity in order to impress them and that is why the the golden retriever is unattractive when it's a woman being the golden retriever or the Chaser we are unattractive as

the Chaser because we have a lot of desperate and anxious energy when we like someone and we start to chase them it's much better to let him be the Chaser because it brings out positive masculine energy traits like pursuing you like planning dates like creating things and we find that attractive whilst when you like a guy and you start doing your masculine traits which is the golden retriever traits it makes you unattractive to him that is why you must wrestle yourself emotionally and not be the golden retriever and keep being the black cap because what

is attractive about a woman is her feminine essence which she must maintain to keep being attractive to him so it is annoying but it is the truth that you must maintain your black cat chased energy when you like a guy because he's going to want to win you over and if you close the gap it's going to ruin it how can I lose the fear of becoming a mother you can lose the fear of becoming a mother by having a child that is the only way you can lose your fear of anything you can't lose

a fear of anything until you walk through it straight through the fear and into the unknown I was if you speak to my closest friend uh petrified of becoming a mom before I became one and I will tell you that it was both valid and completely invalid at the same time in terms of the fact that I was worried about the wrong things it's not something that you can experience until you experience it it's the most pivotal life-changing experience and I'm not saying that if you don't have children you can't have pivotal life-changing experiences but

this is one that you have to do to understand it's one of the three pivotal relationships in life you as a child to your parents that formly shapes you you know no matter what that relationship was even if you never had Parents growing up or even if you were very close to your parents it shapes you you always refer to your parental relationship in some way then it's your spouse or relationship or the partner that you might have or partners that you might have and then it's you as the parent to your children so it's

one of those three formative relationships and it changes you as a human being also a friend who's close can change you too so the fears you have are not founded because you have no idea what that experience is like it's like being scared to have parents yes it's scary to love and it's scary to like I said it's like your heart walking outside your body but if you are scared of of motherhood in terms of free time in terms of body change es in terms of all that jazz if that's what you mean the societal

uh worries about motherhood I will tell you this me personally I have had more Career Success uh more knowledge of myself more connectedness to who I am after having children but that might not be you I'm just saying me so if you feel like you're going to lose yourself or lose some part of you or lose something then that might happen I don't know but I was worried about that I was worried about body changes not that I even had like a body that I was like so in love with like oh I've got the

perfect body and it's going to get ruined but you just get worried I like my body now more than I did before I'm not saying it's better but I like it more now I my career is 500 times better than it was I'm a person who I've decided gets motivated by these tiny beings who I need to take care of I will move mountains trust and believe I will move mountains to make these people happy I don't feel the same way about myself you need to look back onto how you were raised and what motivational

aspects you have me I do a lot for other people in terms of not in a not in a martydom way not like me I do a lot for other people but what motivates me is others some people are motivated by self I'm motivated by others so career-wise I've done way more since having my son because he came first in 2020 I have more grounded energy I feel I've got more to say it's hard I would like to go to the bathroom by myself it's scary but it's worth it life in general here I go

getting real and dark again life in general is scary it's so fleeting and so quick but I want to experience it to the fullest so don't be scared if you want it do it and if you don't don't brings me on to the sponsor of this video I am so grateful for better heal for sponsoring this video because it allows me to create more content and feed these children that I'm passionately in love with but honestly thank you better help if you want to check out better help it's a platform whereby you can meet a

therapist quickly you can match with someone usually within 48 hours and the best part is you can change that person because I've had therapy in real life and it's a very awkward experience when you feel like you don't gel and that's the most important thing about therapy is that you gel when you need to switch or you feel like you don't want to go to them anymore that's super awkward I hate that but with better help you don't have to do that you could just seamlessly switch and they will match you with somebody else you

don't have to leave your house talking about kids and leaving the house and that being difficult you don't have to leave your house it could be on your phone it could be a phone call it could be you know any way that you want it it can happen so use my code for a discount on your first month I highly recommend it if you've got thoughts like worries about motherhood what really helps especially if you're a woman is talk therapy when you talk it comes out we used to sit around fires together as communities of

women apparently and as we talk we can go through things and make decisions by talking so check out the link in the description and thank you better H hope for sponsoring this video ooh I love this one how to get him to understand that this is the last chance without sending him paragraphs literally the opposite of what you just said the way you get somebody to understand that this is the last chance with you is not by sending paragraphs it's what you do not what you say if you truly felt this was the last chance

and you are bored by someone which I told you 100 times again and again and again if you really want him to change you need to be bored of him as opposed to engaged by his behavior enraged by his behavior and like reactive to his behavior you need to get bored that's what makes men change okay lack of energy towards them lack of interaction with them disregard to them that's what makes them change okay because wherever energy flows they feel it's still worth it sometimes men do things just to get a reaction out of you

trust and believe okay and what I'm saying is if you want him to know that this is the last chance you need to disengage no long paragraphs you need to say look this behavior is really made me feel put off by you I'm pretty much done happens again I'm completely done and you need to not engage in that you need to not interact with him much you need to not give him more than he's giving you he needs to know that he's going to lose you if he keeps doing it energetically but we as women

do the opposite we get engaged we really get attached to this idea of what he's doing we start micromanaging him controlling him mothering him he's sitting there rubbing his hands I've really got her now because he has got you if you're writing paragraphs you're not done you're very much not done he's very much winning what to do if a guy constantly teases you like a brother I've tried ignoring and asking nicely okay listen if it's hurting your feelings genuinely and I always say be honest to your feelings if you're in the feminine and he says

look at you you tell tubby right let's say he's teasing you like a brother maybe that's the dynamic he has with a sister you've tried ignoring it which is what I would advise first but you've done that you tried asking nicely I wouldn't advise that but you've tried that the next thing is to get genuinely hurt oh look at you Telly tubby you look at him and you look down and you're hurt maybe you cry whatever it takes get very upset get upset don't yell at him but go go sit in the corner for a

while be like I don't want to go out today you said I look like a chubby and now it's upset me be genuine to your feelings if he's just somebody who likes to do brother Jabs and you don't like it he'll stop and if he's a mean mean mama jamama then maybe he's not the one for you how to motivate my husband to want more in life Ambitions dream dreams achievement ready to move out same person to an actual home tired of apartment life how to make it happen if you are married to someone you

like and you want to motivate them you need to redirect their Ambitions to yours so if they're an ambitious person and they've got ideas you need to question why they have those ideas as opposed to going no I don't want you to buy this car I want this car or I don't want that apartment I want a home like she mentions you need to start inspiring them how to inspire somebody you need to make him think it's his idea you need to think you need to be like what kind of home would you want You'

always seemed like a guy who would buy a home you would be so amazing as the man of the house I don't know as as corny as that sounds to you it sounds corny but it's not corny to men they buy that stuff they really believe it you need to start saying oh remember you said you wanted that didn't you mean you actually wanted a home you need to start redirecting his ideas you need to also start celebrating what he does do oh my God I can't believe you got this apartment for us I love

this apartment so much I feel so lucky to have someone who's such an amazing provider corny he'll buy it if you make him feel loved and appreciated for what he's already done he's going to want to do more K we're back in the house because she had it with the car I'm going to answer you a few more and then we're going to go and play and have lunch do you want cauliflower or something cauliflower soup do you believe in astrology and what can you say about it I believe in astrology in terms of I

believe in the solar system and I believe in planetary movement and I believe that you know the moon controls the water so it controls our bod so there's some like movement in the planets and all that stuff I believe in astronomy I believe that there's a science to everything I don't believe that when you open a newspaper and you see Leo it says anything about you especially about the fact that there's the tropical signs in which I'm a Virgo and then the siderial in which I'm a Leo so am I a Virgo or or a

Leo you tell me then there is the moon sign in the siderial my moon sign is Aquarius in the tropical it is Pisces which one am I am I a Virgo Pisces am I a Leo Aquarius what am I you know what I mean you know what I mean little baby I was coming up here and I just wanted to tell you that question about being fearful of motherhood don't be Society has made you fearful and it is bloody hard but all things that are worth it are hard okay you can do it you can

do it I I wanted to make this whole platform the being her platform my book everything to celebrate femininity and what it means to be a woman and yes you might not be able to work an 9 to five like a man but you are different than a man and better than a man in some ways how to be okay with spending time alone when you're codependent honey the irony of this and you also asked how to fall in love with yourself number one and I don't mean to say this in any kind of UPS

sales marketing way at all it's only because I put a bloody year of my life into writing my book exactly about this subject but read my book the new rules and you should read my book to the new rules as a bedtime story but um I read it because literally that is what it's about when you're anxious when you're codependent it's vital to fall in love with yourself and I used to be that that used to be me I completely understand where you're coming from it's such a painful position to be in because you have

time and you've got free time and you're there and you're like I don't want to be with myself I get joy from being with other people but trust and believe that there are ways and there are processes to do it uh I can't possibly go into it in this video but watch my videos on anous attachment and and read that book because it will help you you need to fall in love with yourself and spend time with yourself as if there's two of you as if you're spending time with yourself as the child version of

you it will be pivotal and life-changing way is men test women and why why they do so men test women because they're they want to be with someone who is hard to get because that gives them as a man value in the fact that they acquired you and the acquisition has happened and they've got the best of what they could get okay so they test to see if you've got boundaries because if you don't have any then you are low value to them ironically they test to see how valuable you are because they want someone

who is valuable because then they feel like a winner in life they want the fast car they want the big house they want the valuable woman and they test you to see how valuable you are how to absolve generational poverty and build sustainable wealth I'm a single mother I come from a single mother family my mom my mom was my grandma was my grandfather tragically died my mom divorced so I get you we didn't grow up wealthy at all I didn't grow up wealthy at all far from it my daughter is rolling what is happening

you understand that your power lies in your femininity it's not a 9 to-5 it's not becoming a lawyer because you are a single mother you don't have the time for that but there are and I feel like I want to make more content about it there are ways in which you can use your time to create money essentially it will probably be something that you're good at monetizing it via creating content around it and then creating uh courses or teaching other people because your femininity lies in the fact that you can create so you also

need to break down barriers that and and ideas you have around poverty and the fact that you will be poor you need to create an abundant mindset you need to do things that you see as rich people doing like honestly look at this would you like a video about abundance and creating abundance if so let me know I'll see you on the next one [Music] m [Music]