[music] The Cozy English learn English slowly. >> Hello and a very warm welcome to the Cozy English. I'm Emma and it is so good to have you here in our quiet corner of the world.
Before we begin, I want to say a heartfelt thank you to you, the person listening right now. Thank you for choosing to spend these few minutes with us. I'm here with Daniel and we are both feeling very grateful today.
>> Hi everyone, I'm Daniel. I've been looking forward to this chat all week. Honestly, some days I feel like I'm running a race with no finish line.
So sitting down here with Emma and with all of you is exactly what I need. Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up and before you even open your eyes, your mind is already making a list of everyone you need to help today. Maybe it's your boss, your children, or a friend who's going through a hard time.
You reach for your phone, you check your messages, and suddenly you are living for everyone else before you've even had a glass of water. It's that feeling of being a guest in your own life. Always busy, but never truly at home in yourself.
[sighs and gasps] You just described my entire Tuesday, Emma. I remember standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil, and I realized I was checking my email for the 10th time. I hadn't even tasted my breakfast yet.
It's like I'm physically there but me is somewhere else worrying about a meeting or a text. It makes me feel a bit empty if I'm being honest. >> That is exactly where the journey begins.
Daniel, we often think that focusing on yourself means a big vacation or a total life change, but really it's about the art of coming home. It's about that moment at the kettle where you decide to put the phone down, feel the floor beneath your feet, and ask, "How am I doing right now? " It's moving from being a stranger to yourself to being your own best friend.
>> I love that idea, but it feels a little bit selfish sometimes. We are taught to be kind to others and to work hard. If I stop to focus on myself, I feel like I'm letting people down.
Is it really okay to turn that kindness inward? >> Think of it like a light bulb. If the bulb is broken, it can't light up the room for anyone else.
When we focus on our own growth and peace, we aren't taking anything away from the world. We are actually preparing ourselves to give more. In 2026, the world wants your attention every second.
Choosing to give that attention to your own soul first isn't an act of selfishness. It's an act of survival. >> I never thought of it as survival.
I usually see it as a luxury I can't afford. But when you put it that way, it makes me realize that if I don't come home to myself, I'm just a tired shadow of who I could be. I want to learn how to be the light bulb again.
>> We all do. And the beauty of it is we can start with the very next breath. >> Emma, I tried what you said this morning.
I sat by the window for 5 minutes without my phone. Just 5 minutes. But it was so hard.
My hand kept reaching for my pocket like it was looking for a snack. It's funny, but also a little scary. Why is silence so loud?
>> That is a very normal feeling, Daniel. Our brains are used to noise. Not just loud sounds, but digital noise.
It's like living in a room with a 100 TVs turned on at the same time. When you turn them off, the silence feels heavy at first. It's like when you go for a walk in the countryside after living in a big city.
The quiet feels strange, right? >> Exactly. I felt like I was wasting time.
I kept thinking I could be learning a new word or I could be checking the news. I feel like if I am not doing, I am not growing. How do we stay still when the world is moving so fast?
>> Think about a glass of muddy water. If you keep shaking the glass, the water stays brown and dirty. But what happens if you put the glass down on a table and leave it alone?
>> The mud sinks to the bottom, right? And the water becomes clear. >> Precisely.
Our minds are like that glass of water. Most of the day we are shaking our minds with social media, work, and chores. Small windows of silence are the moments when we put the glass down.
We aren't doing nothing. We are letting the mud settle so we can see clearly again. >> I like that image.
So the silence isn't empty. It's actually cleaning my mind. >> Yes, it's like a reset button for your brain.
You don't need an hour. You just need a small window. Maybe it's while you drink your coffee or while you wait for the bus.
Instead of looking at a screen, you look at the trees or just watch people walking by. >> I tried that today while waiting for the elevator. Usually, I check my messages.
Today, I just looked at my shoes and breathed. It felt like a tiny break for my soul. It was only 30 seconds, but I felt lighter.
That's it. Those 30 seconds are a gift to yourself. In those moments, you aren't a worker or a student or a busy person.
You are just you. And you is enough. >> It's a bit like taking a deep breath after being underwater for a long time.
I think I'm starting to enjoy these little windows. They make the rest of the day feel less like a mountain I have to climb. When we give ourselves space to breathe, the mountain doesn't seem so high.
[laughter] >> You've been reading my mind again, Emma. That's my biggest problem. I get so excited about focusing on myself that I buy five new books, sign up for a gym, and plan to wake up at 500 a.
m. every day. But then by Wednesday, I'm exhausted.
I feel like a failure because I can't change my whole life in a week. It's like trying to jump to the top of a building instead of taking the stairs. >> That's a perfect way to put it.
We live in a world that loves big results. We see videos of people who changed their lives in 30 days and we think we have to do the same. But real deep growth is much quieter.
I call it the 1% rule. Instead of trying to change 100% of your life at once, you just focus on being 1% better than you were yesterday. >> 1%?
That sounds well, it sounds almost too easy. Does such a small change really do anything? If I learn just one new English word today, I'm still not fluent.
It feels like I'm standing still. >> It feels that way at first. Think about a plane flying from London to New York.
If the nose of the plane moves just one degree to the left, something the passengers can't even feel, it will end up hundreds of miles away in a different city. Small changes are like that. They don't look like much in the moment, but over time they completely change your destination.
>> One degree. I never thought about it like that. So focusing on myself isn't about a giant explosion of change.
It's more like planting a seed and watering it just a little bit every day. >> Exactly. If you water a plant with 10 gallons of water in one day, you kill it.
But if you give it a small cup of water every morning, it grows tall. Focusing on yourself is the same. Maybe today your 1% is just reading one page of a book.
Or maybe it's just saying one kind thing to yourself when you make a mistake. It feels small, but those small things add up. >> I think I'm starting to see why I always quit.
I try to be perfect Daniel on Monday, but I'm human, so I make a mistake on Tuesday. Then I feel bad and give up. But if the goal is only 1%, I can do that.
Even on a bad day, I can probably manage 1%. And that is the secret, Daniel. When you focus on small wins, you stop being so hard on yourself.
You start to enjoy the process instead of just dreaming about the finish line. >> It's like learning a language, isn't it? I used to get frustrated because I couldn't understand movies.
Now I'm just happy if I understand one new sentence. That shift in my head makes me want to keep going. >> Precisely.
That's you being 1% better. And in a year, you won't even recognize the person you used to be. You are building a home for yourself brick by single brick.
>> I think I can handle one brick today. It makes the future feel less scary and more like an adventure. >> An adventure that belongs only to you, >> Emma.
I've been thinking about that one brick we talked about. But sometimes I feel like my bricks are broken. I look at other people, the perfect people on social media, and they seem so solid.
Me, I feel like I have too many flaws. I'm messy. I forget things.
and my English isn't perfect. How can I focus on myself if I don't like the self I see? >> That reminds me of a very old story from India, [clears throat] Daniel.
It's about a man who carried two large pots on a pole across his neck to bring water to his house. One pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water, but the other pot had a crack in it. By the time the man reached his home, the cracked pot was only half full.
>> Oh, I think I know how that pot feels, like it's failing at its only job. >> For 2 years, this went on every day. The perfect pot was proud of itself.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its flaw. One day by the stream, it spoke to the man. It said, "I am so sorry.
Because of my crack, I only do half the work. I am a failure. " >> That's a heavy feeling.
What did the man say? >> The man smiled and said, "Did you notice that there are flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? I have always known about your flaw.
So I planted flower seeds on your side. Every day as we walk back from the stream, you have watered them. For 2 years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my table.
Without you being exactly the way you are, there would be no beauty in my house. >> Wow. So the floor, the thing the pot hated about itself, was actually the thing that created the beauty.
>> Exactly. This brings us to a new way of looking at ourselves. Your flaws are not mistakes.
They are often the places where you grow something unique. We spend so much energy trying to fix our cracks that we forget they are watering the world in ways we don't see. That really changes things.
I usually ask myself, "How can I hide my mistakes? " But maybe there's a new question I should be asking instead. Maybe I should ask, "What is growing because of my struggle?
" >> That is a powerful question, Daniel. [snorts] When you struggle with English, you develop more patience than someone who finds it easy. That patience is a flower.
When you are messy, maybe you are also more creative. Those are your flowers. >> I want to practice this, but it's hard to remember when I'm feeling down.
What's a small habit I can use to start seeing my cracks differently? >> Try this. Every night before you sleep, find one mistake you made that day.
Instead of being angry, say to yourself, "This is a crack that waters my garden. " Just that one sentence. It changes your story from a tragedy into a garden.
>> This is a crack that waters my garden. It sounds so much kinder. It makes me want to look at my floors with a bit more love >> because the flowers can only grow where the water falls.
You know, Emma, after our talk today, I feel like I've been reading a book about someone else's life for a long time. In 2026, it's so easy to follow the map that society gives us. Get this job, buy this thing, look this way.
But listening to you, I realize I've forgotten that I'm the one holding the pen. >> That is such a beautiful realization, Daniel. We often live our lives as if we are characters in a story written by our parents, our bosses, or even by strangers on the internet.
But focusing on yourself means taking that pen back. It means deciding that your story doesn't have to look like anyone else's to be successful. >> It's a bit scary, isn't it?
When you follow the map, you know where you're going. When you write your own story, the page is blank. How do we know if we are writing the right thing for ourselves?
>> Perhaps we can stop worrying about the right thing and focus on the true thing. In 2026, there is so much pressure to be perfect, but there is very little space to be true. Your true story might be slow.
It might have chapters where you just rest or chapters where you learn a language just for the joy of how the words sound, not for a promotion at work. >> I like that. I've been so worried about the ending of my story that I haven't been enjoying the current chapter.
I want to write a chapter where I am kind to myself even if I don't achieve something big today. That kindness is the most important sentence you will ever write. Imagine your life as a long winding path through a forest.
Sometimes the path is clear. Other times it's covered in leaves. If you only look at the finish line, you miss the color of the trees and the smell of the air.
Focusing on yourself is simply choosing to look at the trees as you walk. I'm going to carry that image with me, the pen in my hand and the trees along my path. It makes 2026 feel less like a deadline and more like an open door.
>> It really is. As we finish our chat today, I want to leave you with a simple thought. You are the only person who will be with you for your entire life.
Why not make that relationship the most beautiful one you have? >> I think I'm ready to start that friendship today. Thank you, Emma.
And thank you to everyone listening. It feels good to not be alone on this path. >> As we close this episode, take a moment to just be.
Feel the breath moving in and out of your body. You have spent this time focusing on your growth and that is a wonderful gift. We are so proud of the steps you are taking no matter how small they seem.
>> Yeah, even if it's just that 1% we talked about. Thank you for letting us be a part of your day. It really means a lot to share these reflections with you.
Remember, your cracks are watering your garden and your story is still being written. We wish you a week filled with quiet windows of silence and a lot of kindness for yourself. >> Stay cozy, everyone.
See you next time. >> Goodbye for now. >> Bye-bye.
