these are the five things that you need to do if your avoidant X still hasn't regretted losing you the first is to completely remove yourself from their world AKA going no contact with them this means that you need to cut off all access from them I don't mean for you to just simply stop texting them or calling them you need to remove them from social media maybe even change different locations of gym wherever they are at that you will see them you need to remove yourself from them I know that this can be very challenging
because it can definitely disrupt your day-to-day or your habits or things that you have going on but it's so important that you do this because chances are this avoidant ex is still not regretting things because they have some form of access to you right they're essentially around you and they feel like you are available to them so when you officially go no contact with them you are sending the signal that you are no longer going to put up with this you are not going to be readily available when they want to see you and in
fact you are most likely going to do what's best for you and start to figure out what you need to do to move on from them and this may cause them to start to question things and maybe begin to feel that regret but even if they don't you are still going to significantly benefit from this because you are now separating yourself from that relationship and them and prioritizing yourself to figure out what you need to do to get through this number two is to show them that you are thriving without Fai baking it now this
may be something where you think that you need to start to post a whole bunch of stuff to social media and still have them on social media so they can see you thriving but that is not the case here right chances are someone is going to tell them how well you're doing or they're just going to happen to see this from another friend they will tend to see this naturally but what is so important for you to understand here is that you do not want to fake this you don't want to just rush out there
and do a whole bunch of things that are unnatural to how you're feeling and who you are as an individual or just force yourself to fake the happiness because that is only going to make things worse for you because you don't know if your avoidant is actually going to see this and if they do see it you can't control their response they may just chalk it up and move on completely and not have to deal with this anymore or they could just fake it and actually feel regret but never tell you but when you actually
begin to start thriving you will not care what they think you will not be waiting around for this to only be disappointed with their lack of response to something like this and it will make you spiral even more so by you actually doing what is necessary for you to thrive and it might be something small and that small action will start to compound over and over again the more that you commit to this to where you are going to genuinely Thrive and glow in your own light and you're not even going to care anymore whether
or not this person is going to recognize this but again chances are they will see this at some point in time and they will feel that regret whether or not they tell you number three is to start dating someone who gives you what they couldn't this is so valuable to do once you are healed and moved on from this person this is essentially where you are starting to reclaim your life you are starting to realize how there are people out there who are going to genuinely care about you and want to work with you and
want to put some effort into making things work and this is where you're going to start to experience an actual healthy relationship where you're not going to have to walk on eggshells or feel like you have to change yourself in order to make the relationship work right it's just going to naturally work in a genuine way and what this does to that avoidant is that they start to see how they were not allowing themselves to do that right how many times did you try to work with this person and say hey like this avoidant attachment
style is causing us to have this Rift we are constantly never making any progress because you are feeling the way that you are and you're not actively doing something about it and they just turn the other way and continue this avoidant behavior and when they see you with somebody else they begin to start to realize how that avoidant attachment style has really been a hindrance to the relationship and why things couldn't work but again this is not going to guarantee that that person is going to actually reach out to you and explain how they realize
this avoidant attachment style has been detrimental and at this point it really really doesn't matter right you found someone who could potentially be your soulmate and actually show you the love that you have been so desperately wanting to have in your life which leads perfectly into number four and that is to stay completely indifferent towards them what you are essentially doing here is that you are not allowing their actions or them reaching out to you to affect you anymore right chances are they might reach out to you later down the road to try to convince
you to come back into their life and to tell you this whole Saab story about how they've changed and how you know they were just trying to make things work and that you were not allowing them whatever it is that they're making as an excuse they're going to try to use this to get some kind of reaction towards you to make them feel that they have you on the hook in some way and it's so important for you to not allow that to affect you right you may have some emotions that will still come up
that you're trying to work through and you want to maybe say something or react a certain way but chances are that is not going to change the situation right in fact it's only going to make things worse you've been down this road so many times over and over again while you're in the relationship and chances are it's going to be the same exact thing that you experienced then now at this point you should hopefully have some form of going no contact with them to where you won't have to deal with it but in the chance
that this does happen it's so important for you to maintain that indifference and try to not allow yourself to have reactions to those moments last but not least number number five and that is to stop hoping that they are going to regret it and live your life this is the one thing that I hope you take away from this entire video you need to understand that you cannot control anyone's emotions on this planet beside yourself and that especially goes for an avoidant you don't know how they're going to respond to any of these you could
do all of these perfectly and this avoidant is actually feeling this immense regret and they will never tell you because they don't want to feel like they're losing control or whatever it is that's causing them to not do that and that is the reality that you need to accept here because what this is going to allow for you to do is that this is going to allow you to start to process heal and move on from this avoidant and as you probably can imagine now looking at all these steps that's what this is doing right
this is essentially you taking away their power or their need to give you some type of validation and you were putting the power back in yourself you don't deserve to have to work so hard to make a relationship work any relationship is going to have some turmoil and things happen that you both are going to have to work through but this is completely different this is somebody who is not doing anything to try to work through this right you can understand to a point how this person is the way that they are and you have
some sympathy towards that but at the end of the day they have to do something to try to work through this if you guys are going to have a relationship and you've been trying so hard to get them to realize it and they just simply aren't doing it for whatever reason that they have so this is your wakeup sign to realize that it's time to prioritize yourself because if you don't you are running the risk of making things so much more worse on yourself in the sense of you prolonging your healing journey and the first
real step to do this is to go no contact with this person and know that it's time for you to move on and figure out what you need to do to heal from this I hope you did enjoy today's video if you did please make sure to hit that like button if you're new here make sure to subscribe and I will see you in the next video
