there is nothing that enrages me more than fat models I don't like the celebration of morbid obesity you're okay and the skin that you're in this dress is everything just don't see that getting better do something about it I am fact the fact that I have rolls on my belly doesn't make me any less of a human being [Music] [Music] the reason I am here is because I feel like in the past fad has been such like like derogatory term and like we've been so like ridiculed for the way we look it's almost like I
want to take that word back and make it a positive thing like someone called me fat oh he's so negative and be like yes I am you know what I mean just like change the way we think of it a lot of words it should offend me don't I think it's because I'm just kind of like I don't even need the words you know your intention exactly I know your intention and if you're using it to like hurt me I don't care what word to use I care that you wanted to hurt me I just
don't look at like a word like that as being like you don't want to give it power no I don't want to give it weight yeah [Music] I'm only standing on this one and not strongly disagree because some people do like try to be plus-sized like there's like lots of people in the gay community that are called like eaters and feeders so people do try to be bigger but I mean I don't think it's necessarily a choice so that's one reason why I'm not I lost 60 pounds in six months everyone was so happy for
me I hated myself I hated the way I looked I hated why I did why I exercise and things like that and so I made the conscious decision of my parents are not going to be supportive or maybe they won't like it my community the Korean community is gonna be really disappointed that there's a fat Korean walking around the world but it was a choice for me to say well I don't want to work out eight hours a day every day and hate what I look like to be skinnier so I'm gonna let myself eat
more than 1/4 cup of white rice today I disagree because I believe in society especially in America we have this idea that oh yeah all fat people ate themselves that way that they just sit at home and they're lazy and they don't do anything and they ate themselves that way but they don't take into account people who have a disease they don't take into account people who work out and their body is just built that way so there are all of these other factors that the average person who's judging people don't take into account and
they just look at someone they say oh you're fat and you're not doing anything about it but I also want to throw out there like it is possible that people have eaten themselves to that point but then you look at like why did that happen like there's trauma there's rough coping mechanisms there's so many different things that can lead to somebody resorting to that and then eating themselves into this situation because I know that's what happened to me I didn't choose it but it happened when I first went back to Korea which is like the
country of my parents and like it was amazing for me and I was like wow I look like everyone else right like this is my home country this is supposed to be my place it's not my place cuz I'm fat and so walking down the street people are like do you know how easy it is for you to get liposuction here they won't even scar cuz they can do it pretty for an Asian person whatever I had family said you know what we'll fix your ears we'll fix your nose we'll fix your eyes your lips
and all your fat and that is just it's mind-boggling to me that you would even think to offer that or think that I dislike my body and I think that's also the thing the critique comes from this idea of you must hate how you look so let me help you I think everyone in this entire room has for their body like it doesn't really matter what size you are you could be the skinniest girl in the world you're gonna be called like a fat like if you think that this is like exempt from you because
we're bigger or we have different body types like you know we've all been changed for our bodies people feel that they have the right to come up to you and impose their views on to you about your personal body the fact that I have roles on my belly and big thighs doesn't make me any less of a human being my body is not for you I didn't ask you that's it [Music] [Music] the reason why I hesitated so much is because I will love the way I look no matter what at the same time like
if I like was to keep dancing and keep going to the gym and all this and then I just like happened to lose weight like I'd also be like cool I'll just let myself no matter what is pretty much what I'm saying I want to be here because this is like the work that I do and I like doing this it's gonna like make it's like being here someone's gonna say something to me and be like oh like like you weren't provide positivity you weren't prepared to visit um you want collaboration but let us but
has the things with anybody else besides me I think like if I if I say this and I'm not saying nothing else myself is saying like you know what sometimes I do think about losing weight because I do and like and like everyone does because there's privileges when you're smaller so it's like it's natural to think I want to be smaller because there's so many more options to me if I'm smaller but I don't want to lose weight for me um since I am a dancer it is the most annoying thing like I go to
auditions and I'm the only like plus-sized person there and literally if you go to a concert and see an artist you will like never see someone that looks like me dancing back up for like Chris Brown all they care about is you know sex sells and you know plus-size isn't sexy which it is obviously but they don't they can't get that you know out of their heads that skinny is like the like top - you're like life so what kept you though from on the strongly agree a big choice the world is created with smaller
bodies in mind like everything we experience when you sit in a folding chair when you go on an airplane when you go to the movie theater and the unfortunate truth is our population is not that small so just like organically speaking smaller people have bigger privileges because the world's designed like for them I had to quit a whole career because of my size like I got my first degree in musical theater performance I was ready to go to Broadway and then through college I gained 65 pounds and not only did I watch my professors lose
interest in me but I watched casting people lose interest in me and that's how I ended up in education because I want to teach that that's not okay you can play any role because that's what's baffling to me is that we're in an age where in theatre we can suspend our disbelief that like animals can talk and things like that but we can't accept that a plus-sized person could have somebody fall in love with them unless it's hairspray I guess the only story we get and that's infuriating I love my body but it took a
lot of time to get there when I graduated college and I was in like the biggest place that I've ever been I was in a depression that I can't even like begin to explain about it and then when I went off to grad school I was like something has to change new city new me and so I got up every morning and I looked in the mirror and I was like what can I like about myself today and I learned how to just love every little part of me because it is mine it belongs to
me and if I don't love it who is going to so what keeps you there that it took so much time to get there mm-hmm and being plus-size I don't love it I don't hate it it's here for me and it's got me this far it's sabotage me in a lot of ways and that's that's his own journey I just think for like a lot of like younger folks like when I was your age or younger people said either hate your body or love your body I wasn't either way and I was in the middle
and so you feel so stuck and so you feel so alone and it's this idea of it's okay if you don't love your body it's okay if you're not obsessed with it just be kind to yourself and that's that's good enough if you can be kind to your best friend you can be kind to yourself and so that's that is why I am here every morning I'll wake up and I will like get out of bed and I'll look in the mirror now I would really just like I was like I like a broad like
my chest like with my stomach all they shake my ass is like guys like like I want to like shower myself with love every day and that's like really important to me to myself the time to be like oh I appreciate my body for it does for me like do I want to change sometimes sure will it maybe it will maybe it won't but like I've been day like I will love it regardless because it is like a home for me and my soul [Music] good humans thanks for sticking around so if you guys want
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