so you're in a rut your lazy girl era your aesthetic is rotting away in bed core and the most frustrating thing is you know you want more you know you want to change you even know which habits you want to have in your life you know which direction you want to go in but you just keep falling back into the same old you and it just feels like there's like this concrete wall like there's a block between you and the version of you that you're trying to work towards and just like you can't break through
it for some reason or like I think a better analogy would be actually like a rubber band it's like here you are at the starting point when the rubber band is small and then the further you try to get away from your starting point like you try to change you try to get new habits all that kind of stuff then you just keep getting pulled back like by some Invisible String Taylor Swift reference but an invisible force just keeps pulling you back like a rubber band to where you started and unfortunately I went through this
for years so many times I can't even imagine like I'd be a millionaire if I got a dollar for the amount of times that I've started something and I've then failed after like a few attempts or a week or so and I just personally know how frustrating it gets when you just keep failing over and over and over again and you know by the 500th failure you start feeling desperate right you're just like what is wrong with me you start trying to motivate yourself by talking down to yourself you're like why are you so lazy
like why can't you change you know it's like no matter what I do I can't just fix myself and now I want to pause here for a second and just Ponder something who is you in this sentence who is the I in this situation and who is the myself because this kind of implies that there's two of me if that makes any sense but if you think about it right it's like when I say why are you so lazy it's as if there's a me who's talking down on myself right like I can't talk down
to myself if there's no one to talk down to so then are there two mes yeah this is empty by the way it's just a prop okay so you probably have noticed though that you have like this internal dialogue with yourself like almost there's two voices or or two versions of yourself battling inside of you and so that's what I want to discuss today because this might seem irrelevant but it actually is the key to figuring out what was that the key to figuring out how to finally change what is that invisible rubber band or
that block that's preventing you from changing right and I just wish that I had understood this when I was younger because it just felt so frustrating for so many years and if someone had just explained this to me I feel like my whole life would have been completely different honestly so I really hope that this video will help you guys understand yourself a little bit more and why you're struggling to change before we continue I want to quickly talk about today's sponsor which which is one of my favorite tools of all time and I've been
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roll please we are introducing the conscious and the subconscious okay so our conscious is the rational logical part of our brain right it's the one that it's us essentially you know the one that makes plans the one that understands that studying right now will lead to good grades in the long run even if it's boring in the moment right it's the one that knows that eating healthy is important that getting sleep is important you know it rationally understands things and knows what's good for us and what's not based on Research you know reading just what
we've been told unfortunately C picture here the conscious is teeny tiny it's like the tip of the iceberg of our brain right because then there's the huge subconscious underneath that is controlling everything else right it's been evolving for millions of years of evolution it controls our personality all of the skills you know natural abilities and talents that have been passed down from our ancestors in a sense it's also our who we attracted to largely is impacted by that our body regulation our systems you know our hormones lymphatic system nervous system heartbeat breathing I mean sleep
all of it's not controlled by us right it's all controlled by the subconscious and it's an incredibly powerful machine it's like a computer in a sense that just running everything in the background while our tiny little voice up there is trying to control it and kind of miserably failing right and so it's so important to understand that the subconscious controls also our mental health right like our mood so like sometimes we wake up and we're just in an amazing mood this it happens more rarely though I would say uh but you know we wake up
and like hey like I'm energetic and I feel great today and then there's some days which usually is more often the more common thing and we wake up and we're like I don't want to do do anything I feel like a 90-year-old Grandma I could not care less about anything and you're like completely apathetic and you don't want to do anything right so it's also controlling our moods our energy levels just so many things are controlled by our subconscious now that explains the rubber band that explains the block that is preventing us from changing right
because in a sense addictions or bad habits like we feel almost compelled to do something right like like when we're really used to eating junk food right like you have cravings for like sugar like I've had that when I would be trying to quit sugar and I'd literally be having dreams about like ice cream or something right which is not helpful when you wake up in the middle of the night and you're dreaming about ice cream and you're like oh my God I want ice cream so bad right like those Cravings are not our conscious
like we wouldn't want to pick to have cravings for sugar right like we know it's maybe not good for us right and so that is part of the subconscious part of our brain that's just pulling us towards sometimes those bad habits that we know are not good but that we want to do anyways and again if our conscious hypothetically was in full control of the whole situation right then why wouldn't we just wake up one morning and be like hey I want to be in a great mood today plus I also want to not crave
any bad foods and not feel lazy and scroll on Tik Tok all day if our conscious knowing what's good for us was in full control of the situation our life would be amazing I just imagine how easy that would be right and that's kind of how we approach then plans right like the idealistic plans we just go off of the perfect scenario where you can just control everything and yourself like that's how I would be writing my plans in the past like from this perfect standpoint with no exceptions for bad days we make our plans
a lot of the time not taking into account sick days or bad moods or you know things not going our way so now you probably understand why it feels like a battle like a civil war going on inside of us right it's our conscious which knows what's good for us battling our subconscious which is kind of just doing its own thing you know living its best life but you see the thing is life doesn't have to be a battle like wouldn't it be awesome if we could hack our brain and actually make our subconscious understand
why we're doing things and then help us instead of getting in the way right because we know it can help you've probably been through that situation where it's a deadline you know you have an exam coming up and suddenly you have that adrenaline rush you have it's like a different version of you almost like you're a superum you just memorize things like way faster you're working super productively like everything's on fire and you're just like why can't I be like this all the time and why am I only like this 3 days before my exam
where I cram all the knowledge into my brain and yeah the the subconscious understands that we're in danger of getting an F parents yelling at us whatever the situation is and it freaks out and it helps us it helps give that energy and that adrenaline and push through and get that grade you know decent grade on the final or the exam or anything but you see the thing here is the subconscious is not actually our enemy its main goal is for us to be happy safe comfortable and basically it's the gatekeeper or the guard that
sort of keep keeping us in our comfort zone where we feel fine and good okay so for example maybe you've heard of dopamine right which I'm going to break it down super simply it's like the neurotransmitter molecule thing that makes us feel pleasure happiness we get it after we eat chocolate we get it after we hang out with good friends we get it after scrolling through Tik Tok or just things that make us feel good right and so for example on a typical day when you're not freaking out about a deadline the thing that would
make you the lifestyle the day that would make you feel most comfortable in you know just peace chill right would be pretty much you wake up you eat some chocolate you eat some sugary stuff that spikes your dopamine and then you go scroll for 6 hours on Tik Tok which also is constantly spiking your dopamine you know maybe like I said hang out with some friends and then you go to sleep and honestly according to your brain that was a pretty great day right like I mean nothing bad happened you just chilled out it was
great like why not you know and can you really fault the brain like if if if you have a roof over your head if you have enough you know money to have food maybe your parents are providing it or you just have a stable job right what more do you need in this life we are surrounded by things that are constantly making us feel good in the moment and that's tricking our subconscious that's making our subconscious to be fine with everything being the same and not leaving that comfort zone right when we're trying to do
something uncomfortable because we're not trying to make goals here that're like oh I want to just chill and scroll Netflix or scroll on YouTube all day right like we're making goals that are hard like studying a lot exercising eating less to lose weight for example right or eating healthier at least I mean none of that's enjoyable in the moment it's kind of like feels like suffering in the moment so why would our subconscious be on board with that when we can just chill we can just do nothing right so it's like that's where that Clash
is happening and so this is why whenever we try to rapidly change our life right like we're like that's it starting tomorrow I'm eating healthy and I'm exercising 3 hours a day and blah blah blah like that's why we crash and burn so fast you know we're trying to run and we're trying to eat less right and we're hungry we're tired after running we're sore I mean subconscious like bro why are we doing this why do you want to keep doing this this sucks cancel cancel the program right it's like a computer in a sense
it's like oh I detected a virus you're trying to become an athlete and being an athlete is hard and it's uncomfortable especially in the beginning for instance like when you're embarrassed right like when you're running or you go to a gym and you're like uncomfortable you feel those really strong feelings of discomfort embarrassment you're shy you don't know like what to use in the gym right what is the subconscious think it's like we don't need this in our life this sucks you feel awkward you feel uncomfortable it's painful to start lifting weights it's embarrassing why
are we trying to do this cancel the program go back to watching Netflix go back to sitting in your bed all day you like that that's what's comfortable for you that's what we should keep doing get with the program chick the whole exercising and athlete thing no not for you okay and you're probably like okay well why are you saying all this like this so long 50% of the solution is always understanding the problem you really truly need to understand how this all works like I didn't understand for years and I would just feel so
frustrated trying to change trying to do different things feeling like there's a brick wall in my face and so now hopefully that you understand how this all works like why there is that wall we can actually work towards changing and kind of hacking the brain and getting the subconscious on board and understanding hey change is good I don't want to be in this comfort zone anymore and and sure maybe it's uncomfortable in the beginning but things will get better but you got to be able to communicate that to the subconscious so that it doesn't keep
sabotaging all of your attempts at changing so the way to get it on board is for it to realize that you genuinely do not feel comfortable and happy anymore being in this rut being in this Lazy Girl area or being the current version of you and convincing it that that you know the habits that you want or the new lifestyle will make make you happy so the first step is to make sure that the first goal habit whatever it is is not too far out of your comfort zone so a huge mistake I used to
make was exactly like I said the extreme planning where I'd be like from zero to 100 I would go from being a person who doesn't exercise or eat healthy at all to the next day i' would be planning to just eat perfectly I'd have like a perfect meal plan with zero junk food you know meal plan everything and eat like Leaves of Grass and same thing with studying I'd be like okay I haven't worked or studied like I average like two hours a day and I'd go to like 10 hours a day bad bad idea
because that freaks the subconscious out especially like if the beginning is super uncomfortable like you're suffering genuinely like right like you go from not running to running like 30 minutes and you're just like your feet hurt you're sore you know just you're suffering like genuinely like it's too hard what is that telling the subconscious it's like oh my God virus take terrible terrible activity all you're feeling is bad feelings don't like it it's boring it's terrible you know cancel right and so again the baby steps that's why the baby steps are so important because it
has to be so tiny in the beginning in the be and it's going to get better exponentially you'll see that but in the beginning it has to be so tiny out of your comfort zone that it doesn't trigger the alarm system of the subconscious it's kind of like you're trying to sneak past it like oh I'm trying to change but like you're not going to notice and again that's just something I was so impatient when I was young I just wanted everything like this right so those baby steps for months it would be too slow
for me so I wouldn't want to be you know doing like running one minute a day for like a month or something I mean doesn't have to be that basic for example but something like that it just be too slow I'd be like no I want to be running like a 5K in in a week you know or something and that's why I kept triggering that freakout mode cancel virus system in my subconscious accidentally over and over and over again the next part of this the next part of this program is you basically want to
get yourself addicted to the new habit or activity that you're doing right so the way that you do that and a lot of people might say like oh you know listen to music or you know add on like eat a chocolate after you study for a bit the problem is the music is what's making you feel good and the chocolate is what's making you feel good in that case and you're just going to want more chocolate right you're just going to want to watch more Netflix instead of the the actual activity the key here is
to try to make your brain like the activity itself so that you actually start wanting to study that you start wanting to do running for example and it is possible to do it and I'm not saying you can't you know run with music for example but this is something that I learned from Andrew huberman is that stacking too many pleasurable things that spike your dopamine to an activity can actually reduce your pleasure associations with set activity you want to occasionally maybe even run or just study without any of the extra dopamine adding things to really
get your brain used to doing it and liking the activity so now you're probably like okay how on Earth do I get myself to like studying to like running like if I hate it right so the thing is though that if you praise yourself enough if you obsessively or like every single time you run like 2 minutes after you like only see the positive you're like I feel so good that I ran today like I could just feel how my lungs are getting stronger and healthier and my heart rate is you know like my heart
is getting stronger and healthier and you know the the weather is so nice outside today and I'm such a bad butt I don't want to say the bad word for doing this you know and all that kind of stuff like if you're an insane I'm talking about like insanely cheerleading yourself you will start liking that activity eventually not on day one it it will might take like a week or two weeks and stuff but you will start like if you're really hyping it up like overboard for someone like me who naturally when I was younger
got used to talking down to myself it was weird in the beginning to be a cheerleader for myself like I had to reteach myself to cheerlead and be nice to myself because of those years of failures but boy doesn't help change things it's like the ultimate hack is just being your own cheerleader for any activity you want it literally just changes everything the whole game changes yeah when you're just like you're awesome today like you did that you're so cool like good for you like it might sound fake in the beginning but after a long
time like you get used to it you get used to praising yourself and then you get associations of positivity with the activity your subconscious just being like Oh dang like this is kind of cool actually like every single time she goes for a run she feels great after and then you know what started happening I started wanting to run I started wanting i' literally look forward to the time where I could run in a day this being the girl who hated running when she was younger despised it thought it was a torture activity the PE
teachers would use and it was cruel and unusual punishment for students okay that's how strong just being nice to yourself and praising yourself for doing an activity and how powerful that is and how that teaches the subconscious oh I actually like this activity I want to start doing it more so the main thing here is you want to rewire where you're getting that dopam mean those pleasurable feelings ings from to being eating healthy or being productive or exercising or just doing the good things and put all of your energy and emotions and the positivity towards
that and every time you're doing the bad things you highlight how they don't make you feel good like oh I ate all this junk food but like I feel like kind of sick now like it just like doesn't make me feel good or like I just spent the whole day scrolling Tik Tok and like you know what I feel guilty and you start emphasizing those feelings of negativity you start being like I don't like those feelings of guilt I don't like those feelings of being sluggish and you know gross after eating all those junk food
and you start emphasizing to your subconscious emotionally because it understands emotions I don't like these bad habits they don't make me feel good anymore maybe they did in the past because they would spike my dopamine but right now starting from today going forward I don't like them anymore I don't want them in my life anymore they are making me feel guilty they're making me feel bad and they're not something I want in my life okay so now again let's talk about speaking of negative emotions let's talk about negative emotions right again a huge mistake I
used to make when I was younger was I would you know overthink things I would over plan over research a certain goal I could and I I always like joke to people I had a talent for making anything I was passionate about into the most dreaded like stressful stressful sorry not stressful stressful activity possible simply by overthinking things over planning over researching overwhelming myself with like all the stuff that I had to do right I would then have all this anxiety and these like negative emotions around my dream or like a a new goal that
I had and so again what is that telling our subconscious well then just don't do it it's like the opposite of Nike right like just don't do it it's making you feel overwhelmed it's not something that you're excited about anymore right like and it's just crazy to me because I used to be like when I was younger I would be passioned about so many things like tennis writing getting into a top university all that kind of stuff and every single time like I said I'd start researching other people their paths trying to figure out the
hack of like how to get there and all that kind of stuff and I'd make a list of the 3,000 steps that I'd have to do and I would freak myself out I would feel so overwhelmed and every time I would be failing towards taking the steps over there I'd get down on myself and just so many negative emotions were wrapped around that dream or goal and the funniest thing is when I would quit them I would feel relieved that I no longer had to worry about that goal that I didn't have to you know
keep researching you're telling the subconscious emotionally around a dream or goal you're only emitting negative emotions of like anxiety paralysis you know overwhelm and stuff why would your subconscious just be on board with you going after a dream that's just stressing you out and makes you feel completely freaked out right just logical again it's so important to treat you know your dreams like a little plant that you're just carefully trying to make grow with Sunshine only right like you're not going to lock it up in a dark closet you're going to want it to have
sunshine and water and take care of it and it's like your dreams are like a little plant that you need to take care of you need to nurture it and give it only positive emotions and if you feel like you're starting to stress yourself out and overwhelm yourself with research stuff back off just chill out a little don't worry about you know 30 years from now right and just start from what made you even want to pick that dream in the first place like what makes you excited about that dream like if it's writing or
if it's exercising and being an athlete what is it about it that makes you excited and focus on that focus on what makes you passionate and gives you the positive emotions so again the subconscious understands oh wait this dream actually gives her positive feelings this dream is actually something she wants not something that's bringing negative emotions suddenly and stress and anxiety because we don't want Stress and Anxiety the subconscious doesn't want us to be constantly stressed and negative and an anxious and freaking out and overwhelmed right so it's so important to nurture that dream treat
it like little plant and only give it sunshine and positive emotions and water so that it grows and so you're not stifling your dream and and ringing your hands around it with pressure and tension and stress and overwhelm if that makes sense also another thing is just be careful every time you start thinking oh my gosh this is so hard this is going to take so long oh my God I hate this like all those negative thoughts again are just going to get in the way and add negative emotions to the process of the journey
and you don't want that you want the subconscious to think oh wow this is an awesome Journey we love doing this thing right so every time you're like oh this is so hard this is so boring I hate this just every single time you say that it's a little drop that goes a little program like a little line of code that gets sent to the subconscious and it tells it you don't like this activity let's cancel it then you don't like it it makes you feel bad let's let's get rid of it right who needs
it and so again it's just so important to try to be as positive as possible I'm not saying you're going to be perfect I'm not perfect sometimes I'm like oh my God like oh I'm so tired of editing you know whatever for YouTube right but to try to be as positive as possible is the main key here so please just understand you do not me to be intense and toxic and negative and like attack yourself constantly to be productive like you can be a genuinely like super positive person who loves what you do and Achieve
way more than when you're constantly talking down to yourself and you're like all intense about stuff and you have to succeed and compare yourself to others and all that kind of stuff it actually stops your passion it stops you from going forward and it'll make you quit eventually because again like why would we keep something in our life that makes us feel miserable and stressed and hate everything and last but not least it is really helpful to try to find people within whatever the realm of what you're trying to learn right so for example if
it's running eating healthy if it's studying more if it's working more trying to find people that radiate like positivity or at least passion about what they do because it rubs off on you that positivity from other people it's like a disease in a good way though it genuinely like you get that energy from that person and so it's just super helpful to find examples on social media or maybe even even if it's a fictional character right like Hermione grer for example but somebody who's really passionate about what they do about that particular activity that you
want to also become passionate about it just it's kind of like that monkey see monkey do thing because again we are social creatures evolutionarily you know we copy what we see in other people and so if you want to learn how to be a cheerleader if that's something that you struggle with finding other people who are really positive in that Realm of the goals that you want to achieve is super helpful okay so that's all I have to say for this video I hope it gave you guys some clarity Maybe if you've been struggling with
changing and you again feel like there's a rubber band pulling you back to square one every single time um thank you if you did make it this far and yeah I really hope you guys enjoyed this video I gave you some insight and and maybe you understand you're not alone I've been through this tons of people have been through this and you know we really are working with a supercomputer and it really is so important to learn how to make our conscious and subconscious kind of work together and help us achieve our goals inner dreams
and just be happy people right and so you know in The Game of Life why did I put it cheese okay in the Game of Life of my empty mug that I just brought for a prop but um yeah so I hope you guys and I don't know why I'm doing this I hope you guys enjoyed this video and I will see you guys next time and yeah thank you again for all your support on the previous video and I will hopefully continue making more videos like this bye guys okay so sorry for the interruption
but my cat just wanted to say hi yes she loves being the center of attention so I know some of you guys have wanted to see her for a while so here she is in all her glory okay bye
