"BE TOLERANT WITH OTHERS AND STRICT WITH YOURSELF" Ever felt like you're constantly running on empty because you're too busy making sure everyone else's cup is full? it's like you're the go to person for everyone's problems but when you look around for someone to fill your cup its crickets sounds familiar, doesn't it? this is where we stumble upon an ancient truth one that's been around since the times of stoicism yet it's as relevant today as ever stoicism isn't just about enduring pain or hardship it's about finding the incredible strength that comes from knowing when to say
'no' when to prioritize yourself and how to truly be there for others without losing yourself in the process it's about mastering the art of not setting yourself on fire just to keep others warm intrigued? you should be because today we're diving deep into how these ancient stoic principles can revolutionize the way you approach kindness generosity, and yes, even self care so if you've ever felt like you're giving too much of yourself away or you're curious about how stoicism can help you find a healthier balance stick around this one's for you the only thing I ask
of you is not to skip this video in any way if you're here consider yourself different from the majority consider yourself an exception now act like one and don't skip any part of the content picture this you're the person everyone counts on the one who always says yes to every request favor and plea for help it feels good right being the go to person the one who fixes everything for everyone but here's the kicker it's like you're giving away pieces of yourself bit by bit until one day you reach for something to give and find
there's nothing left suddenly when the tables turn and you're the one in need you look around and realize you're standing alone why because you've given it all away this is where the wisdom of stoicism imparted by thinkers like Marcus Aurelius comes into play he always emphasized the importance of self care he believed that we cannot be of service to others if we are not first taking care of ourselves he would argue that our own well being is the foundation upon which we can build our ability to help others without it everything else crumbles let's use
the analogy of two neighbours with gardens which beautifully illustrates this point one neighbour diligently tends to their own garden first ensuring it's healthy and thriving because their garden is well maintained they have an abundance to share with others the other neighbour however is so busy tending to everyone else's gardens that they neglect their own over time their garden becomes overgrown wilted and unproductive the moral of the story it's crucial to take care of your own garden before you can effectively help others with theirs this doesn't mean you shouldn't help others stoicism teaches us about balance
and sustainability in our acts of kindness it asks us to consider is my help sustainable am I looking after my well being as well Epictetus famously said it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters this wisdom reminds us that we have the choice and the power to say no when necessary to ensure that our acts of kindness are not at the expense of our own health and happiness Plato another luminary of western philosophy emphasize the importance of knowing oneself in the context of being overly generous knowing oneself means recognizing
our limits and understanding that true help and kindness are only possible when we are in a position of strength not depletion and let's not forget Carl Jung a titan of psychology who said who looks outside dreams who looks inside awakes this encourages us to look inward and ensure we are not dreaming away our energy on external demands at the expense of our inner well being the Stoics like Seneca Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus were all about the purity of action doing the right thing for its own sake not for some reward or recognition Seneca in particular
had a lot to say about generosity he believed that true generosity doesn't look for a pat on the back it simply gives because it's the right thing to do he said we should give as we would receive cheerfully quickly and without hesitation for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers imagine giving just to see the joy on someone's face with no hidden agenda or silent tally of who owes whom this is the heart of stoic generosity it's about giving from a place of abundance abundance of spirit not necessarily material wealth
when we give hoping for something in return we're not really giving we're trading and let's be honest life's too rich and complex to be reduced to a mere transaction this philosophy dove tales beautifully with what Aristotle talked about regarding virtues he believed that true virtue lies in finding joy in virtuous acts themselves not in the external rewards they might bring this aligns perfectly with the stoic view on generosity it's about finding joy in the act of giving in the knowledge that you've made a difference however small in someone else's life Plato emphasized the importance of
acting according to our highest ideals regardless of the outcome this approach to generosity means giving because it aligns with who we aspire to be not because we're expecting a return it's about being true to our ideals about embodying the virtues we value most and then there's the psychological angle beautifully articulated by Carl Jung who spoke about the shadow and the persona the parts of ourselves we show to the world and those we keep hidden Jung's work encourages us to integrate all parts of ourselves which includes acknowledging the joy we find in giving without expectation it's
a profound act of self integration and authenticity Epictetus reminds us that we control our intentions and actions but not their outcomes so when we give we do it from a place of control choosing to be generous choosing to offer kindness without a thought for what might come back to us this is empowering it shifts our focus from what the world owes us to what we can contribute to the world so here's the thing giving without expecting anything back is not just noble it's liberating it frees us from the disappointment of unmet expectations and the bitterness
of feeling used it keeps our spirit of generosity alive and well enriching our lives and the lives of those around us this doesn't drain us it fills us up with the deep enduring joy of having made a positive difference no matter how small in today's always on always connected world it feels like everyone wants a piece of us our time our energy our attention it can get overwhelming stoicism with its emphasis on personal virtue and inner peace teaches us the vital importance of saying no but let's be clear this isn't about turning our backs on
those in need it's about safeguarding our own well being so we can truly be of service to others consider the poignant story of a mother who out of love and care did everything for her daughter while this might sound like the epitome of parental love it had unintended consequences the daughter never Learned to navigate the world on her own it was only after the mother's passing that the daughter was forced to stand on her own feet this story though simple illustrates a profound truth excessive help can stunt personal growth it's a reminder from the Stoics
that fostering independence in others is crucial by setting boundaries we're not being cold or uncaring rather we're encouraging those we care about to find their own strength and resilience Marcus Aurelius spoke volumes about the importance of self discipline and the wisdom of understanding what is within our control applying his teachings to the concept of boundaries means recognizing that while we can offer support we can't live others lives for them it's about striking a balance between assistance and enabling ensuring our help is truly beneficial and not a crutch that prevents personal development Seneca believed in the
value of self sufficiency and warned against the pitfalls of dependency by setting boundaries we teach others to rely on their inner resources just as Seneca taught that true happiness comes from within not from external circumstances or the actions of others Aristotle's concept of the golden mean finding the virtuous middle ground between two extremes applies here as well in the context of setting boundaries it's about balancing our desire to be helpful with the need to maintain our own health and happiness it's a form of practical wisdom or fronesis that guides us to make decisions that are
good both for us and for those we interact with Plato's emphasis on the well ordered soul one that harmonizes the parts of the self can be seen in the act of setting boundaries by defining what we will and will not accept we're creating internal order ensuring that our rational spirited and appetitive aspects are in alignment this harmony within ourselves enables us to interact with the world in a more balanced and effective way Carl Jung from the perspective of depth psychology might suggest that setting boundaries is an essential part of individualation the process of becoming fully
oneself by delineating where we end and others begin we are not only protecting our psychic energy but also encouraging others to embark on their own journey of self discovery there's a critical lesson many of us learn the hard way the risk of being perceived as always available always ready to drop everything for others it's a path that can lead to feeling undervalued and taken for granted it's like you're the reliable old car that everyone expects to start in the morning without ever thinking about the maintenance it requires but here's where the shift happens a moment
of transformation that stoicism and its modern interpretations can guide us through beautifully when we begin to set boundaries to assertively say no when circumstances demand it we initiate a profound change it's not just about refusing requests or denying help it's about signalling a deep respect for our own time and energy Marcus Aurelius would probably frame it as an act of self respect he famously said it's not the actions of others that disturb us but our judgements about those actions in this context deciding to set boundaries is a judgment that our peace and well being are
Paramount Seneca offers wisdom that dove tales nicely with the idea of setting boundaries he taught that true freedom comes from within from being master of oneself by choosing when and how to say no we exercise this freedom demonstrating that our time and energy are our own to allocate not at the whims of others demands Epictetus would likely remind us that we cannot control how others perceive our actions but we can control our actions themselves setting boundaries is an exercise in focusing on what's within our control our own actions and responses Plato might view the act
of setting boundaries through the lens of his theory of forms where the ideal form of helpfulness doesn't equate to limitless availability instead it's about offering help in a way that is sustainable and respects the helpers integrity and well being Carl Jung from the perspective of analytical psychology might suggest that setting boundaries is crucial for individualation the process of becoming fully oneself by marking out our limits we define who we are in relation to others which is essential for psychological health and personal development so when we start to set boundaries it's a declaration of our worth
it's telling the world I value my time and energy and you should too this act doesn't make us less helpful or caring on the contrary it allows us to offer help when it truly matters without resentment or exhaustion clouding our intentions it's about being respected not just needed this transformation isn't just liberating for us it subtly teaches others to respect our time and energy as well it's a lesson in mutual respect a two way street where our boundaries teach others how to interact with us in a way that honors our contributions and our limits remember
that setting boundaries is not a sign of weakness or selfishness it's a powerful statement of self respect and an essential step towards healthy balanced relationships by valuing our own time and energy we teach others to value them too this shift not only enhances our sense of self worth but also deepens the respect we receive from those around us let's carry this wisdom forward embracing the strength that comes from knowing and asserting our worth so after wandering through the rich landscapes of stoicism and exploring the nuances of kindness boundaries and self care what's the essence that
were left to hold it's a profound realization really one that reshapes not just our actions but our very approach to life stoicism with its ancient roots and timeless wisdom isn't a call to retreat from the world or to harden our hearts against the needs of others far from it it's an invitation to engage with the world more deeply more wisely with a clear understanding of our own boundaries and a steadfast commitment to our inner peace this philosophy teaches us a balance that's rare and precious in today's fast paced often demanding world it shows us that
true generosity isn't about giving until we're depleted it's about giving in a way that in reaches but the giver and the receiver it's a form of generosity that sustainable rooted in a deep awareness of our own needs and the genuine desire to meet the needs of others living a stoic life means navigating the delicate dance between caring for others and caring for ourselves it's recognizing that we can't pour from an empty cup that our ability to be there for others hinges on how well we look after our own well being Marcus Aurelius Seneca and Epictetus
all these stoic sages were onto something profound they understood that inner peace isn't a passive state but the result of conscious deliberate choices about how we engage with the world and where we set our limits it's about finding joy in the act of giving without attaching our happiness to the outcomes of our actions or the approval of others stoicism teaches us to find fulfillment in the knowledge that we've acted according to our principles that we've contributed to the world in a way that's true to our values and respects our limitations and here's perhaps the most
beautiful part when we live by these stoic principles we create a ripple effect our approach to life grounded in wisdom and self respect becomes a model for others we show that it's possible to be kind without losing ourselves to be generous without becoming martyrs we inspire those around us to find their own balance to protect their inner peace while opening their hearts to the world so the take away from all this it's a call to live boldly and compassionately with a keen awareness of our own needs and the needs of others it's an encouragement to
set boundaries that allow us to be present and genuine in our acts of kindness stoicism isn't about withdrawing from the world it's about engaging with it more fully with a clear eyed understanding of what it means to live well as we draw this journey to a close remember the path of stoicism is not one of isolation but of profound engagement with the world it's about cultivating an inner sanctuary of peace from which we can extend our kindness and generosity without losing ourselves in the process this wisdom ancient yet so vital today invites us to live
fully to embrace the delicate balance between giving and preserving between being there for others and honoring our own needs and now as we ponder these timeless teachings I invite you to explore further on the screen you'll find suggested videos that delve deeper into the art of living well into finding that perfect harmony between the demands of the world and the whisperings of our souls let's continue to grow together to inspire and be inspired as we navigate the beautiful complexity of life with wisdom courage and a boundless heart thank you for sharing this moment with me
and for being an integral part of the Stoic Journal
