Mel Robbins 5 Second Rule: How to Change Your Life

[Music] I am here for you and I'm here for you because I believe there is greatness in you and I know you feel it don't you you feel that there is more you feel that there is there is something to do and there is and so I am here to teach you how to push that greatness to the surface how to how to use one simple tool one simple tool to find the clarity to listen to your inner wisdom and the courage to take action and the confidence to keep going to keep going despite what

goes on because what I'm about to show you I'm going to prove it to you is that you can change anything in 5 seconds and that fact will change everything about your life everything now this what I'm about to talk about it this was my secret weapon for a long time and I never intended on sharing it with anybody because it sounds kind of stupid when you talk about it yeah you can change your life from Five Seconds you know just count to five um you're right Mel uhhuh you're trying to sell a book I

know um seriously I don't want you to dismiss the power in the ideas that I'm about to share with you because they're so simple and what's funny is I never intended on talking about this I never intended on talking about it because I discovered it by mistake seriously about 8 years ago my life looked totally different than it does today I uh was unemployed my husband had a small business that was that was failing and failing miserably and it took our home equity line and the kids college savings and our 401K plans right down the

drain with it and we had the leans hitting the house and we of course were fighting like crazy because you know when life blows what do you do you point the finger you say oh it's your fault oh it's my boss's fault oh it's the economy's fault oh this isn't fair and you know what's interesting about the way that human beings are designed have you ever noticed that when you blame somebody else and you point the finger there's three fingers pointing right back at you it's a big reminder that the power is in you but

waking up every morning unemployed I certainly didn't feel powerful you know what I needed I needed confidence that was tapped out I needed courage nope didn't have any of that when the alarm rang this is what I felt like doing with the clock have you ever had one of those mornings right where you're like not today nope not today I do not want to get out of bed today I would lie in bed the alarm would go off and I would start thinking about the day ahead and I would start feeling overwhelmed and I would

feel this sense of dread and I would feel like such a failure you know I remember this period of our life and I remember having those moments where I'd be at the grocery store and the items would be scanning and I would feel the fear rising up up because I didn't know if the check card was going to go through cuz I didn't have the courage to look at the bank account and so as I would lie in bed in morning and I would know by the way my inner wisdom was there and your inner

wisdom is always there it's always there kind of nudging you pushing you begging you to go forward myner wisdom was like Mel you need to get up and I'd be like yeah I don't feel like it I developed this habit of hitting the snooze button over and over and over again every morning I became one of those those parents where the kids were always late and and you know here's the thing about life we don't we don't do this we don't ever kind of go to wake up in the morning go go you know what

I'm going to do today today today I'm going to screw up my life today I'm going to hit the snooze button four times I'm going to blow off exercise I'm going to eat that whole tray of doughnuts then I'm going to go to work and snap at people I'm going to blow off working at my business I'm GNA come home and be mean to my spouse and impatient with my kids and then I'm G drink a ton it's going to be amazing right you know we don't do that what happens is when you're not paying

attention when you're not really focused on what you want when you're not clear you make these small decisions all day long that slowly take you off course decisions based in self-doubt decisions based in fear decisions based in in panic decisions based in resignation and suddenly you wake up one morning like I did and you're like wait a minute wait how did I get over there and more importantly how do I get over here you know we all know we need to change but change is hard it's hard when you don't feel confident it's hard when

you don't feel certain and that's exactly how I felt and I struggled and I struggled and then one night it's a really stupid story I saw this rocket launching and uh you know we're going to talk about this word courage now when you hear the word courage you think about the big stuff don't you you think about a life or death moment you think about your Heroes I want you to consider that courage is what you need every day that there are conversations you have to have that require courage for me I needed courage to

get out of bed because our problems they just felt so big so I struggled and struggled because I knew what to do but I couldn't make myself do it have you ever felt that way like so frustrated with yourself you knew you need to exercise but you don't do it you know you need to drink less but you don't do it you know you need to stop procrastinating but you don't do it you know you need to have the tough conversations but you don't do it you're stuck that's how I was and then one night

I see this rocket launch and I say oh oh my gosh that that's it that's it I'm going to launch myself out of bed like a rocket ship tomorrow morning it is going to be amazing I'm going to move so fast that my mind cannot talk me out of this now it could have been the for Manhattan's talking you know that gave me that idea because I had a drinking problem that's one of the things you do you get emotional you reach for the booze well for whatever reason the very next morning I woke up

I still had all the same problems leans on the house talk and divorce with my husband of now 20 years just felt like such a loser I did not feel like getting up I will never forget this morning it was a cold dark winter morning in February outside of Boston Massachusetts and I just did not feel like doing anything different but I did one thing one thing that changed everything I started counting backwards five 4 3 2 1 and then all of a sudden I stood up and I was like what the hell just happened

and the next morning 54321 I did it again and it's worked 54321 I did it again and it worked and I couldn't believe it and now that I'm almost 50 I I still use it at 2:30 in the morning when I wake up and I have to go to the bathroom you know like instead of like you know trying to go back to bed 54 3 21 and here's what I noticed I noticed something that when I say this to you you're going to be like oh my God she's right there is a 5-second window

between the moment that your inner wisdom tells you you need to speak up you need to get to the gym you need to say something you need to get to work and your mind killing it and if you start counting backwards 5 4 3 2 1 you can close the gap between the greatness in you that's dying to come to the surface and the excuses that keep snuffing it down now I never intended to tell anybody about this because I started to use this to get up on time I started to use it to self-monitor

so I didn't snap at Chris so I stopped drinking so much I started to use it to go on job interviews and it literally changed everything because I started to change I stopped being the kind of person that would think about everything and I 543 21 became the kind of person that started acting and every time I took action I started to build confidence now I gave this talk uh a couple years ago about how I had changed my career so many times and again I wasn't going to talk about the 5-second rule because it

sounds stupid and in full disclosure I didn't know why it worked and plus I didn't want you to have it this was working for me so why would I want you to have it right so at the end of this talk this was the SP first speech I had ever given so if you ever want to see somebody have a 21 minute long panic attack this is what it looks like I get off stage and I'm like I'm never doing that again and somebody puts the talk online and something crazy started to happen people from

around the world started to write and they were all writing about this stupid simple very powerful 5-second rule they were using it to find the courage to reach out to people they were using it to become number one in sales they were sharing it with their teams we know of 13 people that have stopped themselves from committing suicide using this rule this gentleman was a a veteran and he boarded the ferry with the intention of jumping over he gets to the railing and his inner wisdom kicks in I don't care how low you get I

don't care how High you get your inner wisdom is always there and when you hear it it is Magic when you listen to it it changes everything his inner wisdom said this is not the answer he went 543 21 and he turned and he walked away we hear from people all over the world people that are using it to be more productive to quit smoking after 23 years license plates tattoos for crying out loud look when people start tattooing this thing on their body like I started to feel a moral obligation to figure out why

it worked so I'm going to tell you some of the science behind this I'm going to explain how you can use it and then I'm going to show you how 5-second decisions change everything so we all hear this just do it right most famous tagline in the world what's the difference between just do it and the 5-second rule this is a concept Concepts make you go upstairs I don't want you upstairs this is Behind Enemy Lines you're not going to grow your business Yourself by thinking you got to take action right before you're about to

do anything even if you're an Olympic Athlete what do you do you stop and you think and that's the kiss of death now stop and think if you're going to get a tattoo or sign a contract but on the little stuff do not stop and think because what happens when your feelings of failure kick in and they will you start to think and that leads you to doubting yourself doesn't it and the same thing happens when you feel nervous same thing happens when you feel unsure the same thing happens when you feel like you're a

fake the same thing happens when you feel overwhelmed look at all these feelings they're triggering you to think that's the last thing you should do this is what we call a habit Loop any pattern that you repeat becomes a a habit something you do without even thinking so how do you break it you train yourself to take action you train yourself that the moment you feel nervous you move why because when you take action you actually build confidence when you feel unsure and you move forward anyway 543 21 you are building the skill of confidence

you are bringing that greatness to the surface now look self-doubts normal feeling overwhelmed is normal the people we admire the most felt the same way have you ever heard the story of Michelangelo so in the late in the early 1500s he had never painted a thing the pope goes over to see him in his Studio as he's carving a statue and the Pope Julius II turns to Michelangelo and says Hey Michelangelo I got some frescos I want you to paint in Vatican City you know what Michelangelo felt totally unsure do you know what he did

he left town he hid from the pope for two years that's how unsure he was you know what the pope did he stalked him for two years pushed them until he actually painted those frescos how about a more recent one how many of you heard of Hamilton yeah Hamilton hit musical guess what three and a half years ago it wasn't even finished linnman well the guy that wrote it was busy messaging with his wife Vanessa what was he saying he was saying something you and I can relate to when it doesn't happen as fast as

I'd like it to I have a hard time finding the balance between not beating myself up and not wasting time can't you relate to that she's like you're not unique dude we all struggle with this we all all all need the encouragement and the push you know and this this photo makes me sad because when I think about this kid right he's standing there the longer he looks the more he thinks about it the less likely he's going imagine the difference that a push makes imagine a coach behind him right right a coach a coach

going come on Sammy you got this buddy you got this or an older brother the problem is in life usually there's nobody there to push you it's up to you that's why the 5sec rule is your new best friend this is what you're going to use to push yourself the moment you have an instinct to act on a goal you know you should do something but you don't feel like getting out of bed I don't care 543 2 1 you don't feel like being nice to your spouse I don't care 543 2 1 use this

for behaviors that you need to do and for those things that are emotional that are killing you drinking too much eating a bunch of garbage smoking gambling addiction when you feel the emotion drawing you towards it 543 21 physically move away from it what is this actually doing in your mind when you count backwards it's pretty remarkable how such a simple thing does something extraordinary when you start counting backwards it is an action when you start counting backwards it requires focus when you start counting backwards you are manually switching the part of the brain that

you're using you're activating your prefrontal Al cortex you're interrupting the Habit Loops of self-doubt of procrastination of fear of anxiety and you are taking control one 5-second decision at a time it truly is that simple I didn't say it was easy but it is this simple and it's not going to be easy because you're going to fight yourself now there are three ways that you can use this we've heard of literally hundreds of thousands of ways we've heard of from hundreds of thousands of people in 90 different countries that are using this Rule and they

fall into kind of three buckets you can use this rule to change any Behavior 54321 push yourself to do something that you know you need to do 54321 pull yourself away from something that you know you should not be doing you can use it for courage 54321 step into that risk 54321 push yourself outside your comfort zone and the most important way you can use it is you can use it for mind control control this one matters the most to me so let me explain to you how to use it so a lot of people

see me on stage or on CNN and they're like oo that chick was just born very confident and very annoying and um I know you laugh CU it's true um not true I I suffered from panic attacks for over 20 years they started when I was 19 years old they got so bad that I was on zolof it was a miracle drug for me and as I started to use the 5-second rule to literally I mean change everything to go from facing bankruptcy to running multi-million dollar companies joining the teams at CNN being a contributor

to Dr Oz and success changing my marriage and how I behaved changing my health habits changing everything because what the rule does is it gives you control over your decisions it gives you control over those 5c moments that change everything for you because in those 5-second moments it's where all the opportunity and the joy in your life is so I wondered about 5 years ago I wonder if you could use this simple stupid brilliant rule to cure yourself of anxiety the answer is yes you can so I've been off meds for five years I haven't

had a panic attack since hell I don't even worry about anything yes because I have used this rule to completely rewire how I think you're going to hear a lot about mindset today you want to adopt a growth mindset you want to change your habits this is a starting ritual that you can use for any of them let me explain how you do it in the mental game so have you ever noticed how your thoughts drift right you're sitting in a meeting and suddenly your thoughts are like blah blah blah blah blah garbage garbage garbage

you suck suck suck suck right you know whatever it is the second that you get your thoughts drifting you're going to go 5 4 3 2 1 and yank them back here now the counting backwards is essential it doesn't work to just try to change your thoughts insert in the 54321 interrupts the pattern of bad talk to yourself and self-doubt and anxiety it awakens your prefrontal cortex so your brain is ready ready to receive a new thought you know I'm going to use an example that we can all relate to to explain specifically how to

do this because I think this is so important I used to be in nutcase about flying I would get to the airport and I'd be in the boarding area and I'd be looking for Bishop TD Jakes and I'd be looking for babies and men and women in uniform because I would say if they're getting on my plane God is not letting this go down so then I I get on the plane and I would buckle up and then I'd start to feel the Panic rising and as soon as we take off and the plane does

that scary thing where you get up and then all of a sudden it feels like it's like turning off as it's leveling off then I would start to panic and I would pull out my phone and I would start texting my children you know Mommy loves you Emoji Emoji Emoji because if I'm going to die in a plane crash I want the kids to know that as my last act as a human being was to be the best mom on the planet planet and then plus they've got it for the eulogy when they do the

PowerPoint so they can prove it to everybody and you giggle you giggle because we're sick human beings we're all sick right if if we were to put a speaker on your head and broadcast the garbage you say to yourself you wouldn't be at success live you'd be in an insane asylum for crying out loud but here's the problem we listen to it we listen to it you let it Rob you of your precious lifetime you let it keep you from stepping into your greatness you let it stop you from saying what you really believe you

don't have to the second you catch yourself thinking anything that doesn't serve you 54321 take control 54321 insert a different thought every time I talk about this when I fly I I step on the plane with an anchor thought I think about where I'm going to go when I flew here you know what I thought about I thought about you so every time the turbulence happened I went 54321 I thought about you and my brain went oh she's not nervous about the plane she is so excited to see everybody at success live this makes sense

one of you many of you are going to text me right after this and be like I can't believe this m I use that stupid simple thing you just talked about and this is the first time I have ever been able to get on a plane you can change how you think 5 Seconds at a time do not ever underestimate your power to change the things that matter most to you this is one of the most shared stories in the history of social media a lot of you are going to recognize this this is Britney

and her dad Todd now what you can't tell from this story is that it's been a horrible decade for this family you see Britney and Britney's dad and her mom got divorced and it's been an ugly divorce you know a lot of fighting and the spouses can't the new spouses can't Chand each other well today is Britney's wedding day and Todd is walking his new wife up the aisle and he has this inner wisdom kick in and he says to himself today I'm going to hear this family doesn't stop and think he turns he walks

back down the aisle and instead of grabbing his daughter he grabs her stepfather a man he hates I mean look at the expression on the lady next to them for crying out loud and he invites him to walk their daughter down the aisle 5 Seconds changes everything and I can tell you firsthand because we interviewed this family for CNN it certainly changed this one so whether you are going to use the rule to 54321 get out of your head and start that nonprofit you've been thinking about for two decades or you're just going to 54321

get yourself out of bed because you said you would or you find yourself in one of the darkest places of your life like Adam did so on March 1st Adam was over in London he's a lawyer over there and he was sitting with a bottle of pills and he was three pills in and his inner wisdom kicked in he knew that this was not the answer and he also knew the 5c Rule and he went 5 4 3 2 1 and he got up and he got in his car and he drove to his doctor's

office and he had the courage to listen he had the clarity to seek help and he's been using it ever since and it's like he has a friend with him and he uses it to not interrupt judges when he gets mad and as he writes to us he says it's not only literally saved his life but he's actually doing pretty good and I'd like to introduce you to because he's flown here come on up I'm so proud of you don't ever doubt your ability to change your life to change your life you know you have

power in you and now you know thank you it is a privilege to share this with you thank you please please please use it and please let me know how you use it um uh seriously I I it is such a I feel like I'm just a messenger for something that making a difference for people everywhere so thank you for the opportunity to share this with you