How to react when someone insults you? Dealing with Rude People – Personality Development Tips

[Music] [Applause] [Music] hi this sema welcome back to skillopedia the place to learn skills for the real world well today we're going to talk about insults and how we can respond to them an insult is nothing but when someone speaks to you or treats you with disrespect have you ever been at the receiving end of an insult that's not a very pleasant thing is it well what do you do when you are insulted do you insult the person straight back or do you break down and cry or do you simply leave the place and avoid

the person who has insulted you altogether well today's lesson is going to teach you about how you can respond effectively to people who insult you or make fun of you now it is very clear that people who insult you are negative people right but why do you think they actually insult you now there are four main reasons why someone would probably insult you the first reason is insecurity now there are some people who are insecure they don't feel good about themselves and because they don't feel good about themselves they feel the need to control and

they can only gain this need to control by putting other people down so insecure people will always end up insulting you or make rude commence at you say for example you have a sibling who is insecure about how she looks she might end up you know insulting you about the way you look about or about the way you dress or simply about the way you score at school the second reason why someone would mock you or insult you is because they are jealous of you that's right jealousy is a very important motive for someone to

mock you or ridicule you people who are jealous feel that they are not getting enough credit for what they are doing and that is why they want to put you down so say for example if you have a co-worker but your boss likes you better than your co-worker your co-worker might end up making fun of the way you dress he might make fun of the way you have given your presentation he's just plain jealous of you and that's why he insults you the third point or the third reason why people would insult you is because

they don't really have a proper understanding of a person's disability now a lot of times people are not aware of how their comments affect people because they don't know that the person they are directing these comments to actually have a genuine problem so say for example there's a kid in school who's actually got speech difficulties he probably stammers or stutters he's got a genuine problem but maybe this the school his schoolmates or his classmates don't really get that they don't really understand that so they might make fun of him without really understanding how it affects

him well the final or the last point why someone would possibly insult you is because they are fond of you and they want to playfully tease you so this is not really insulting in a very negative way but some people they kind of they love they like you a lot and they think that teasing you a little bit is kind of very cool they love doing that because they are fond of you so maybe you have a cousin who keeps um calling you a little chubby because you're on the heavier side but she does not

mean to be rude but maybe her insults or her comments can hurt you a little bit but what she is actually indulging in is just playful teasing well now we're going to talk about what you can actually do or how you can actually respond to insults now responding to an insult is much better than reacting to it so the first thing you've got to remember when you are faced with an insult is to stay calm now as we've learned that people who insult are people who are probably insecure they love to control they love they're

very controlling people right so they want to ensure that you get angry or you just maybe break down and cry but you are now not going to give them the satisfaction of that kind of reaction right so before you even respond to what they have to say ensure that you take several deep breaths stay calm so that you are composed enough to give a very effective reply to what they have to say it is also very important to tell the person who is insulting you how you exactly feel yes even though you are to stay

calm it is your duty to ensure that the person who is insulting you or mocking you knows what you are going through so you can also tell them that if what they are doing is illegal it can have unforeseen or unpleasant circumstances for them so say for example if you have a coworker who is bullying you over the internet you can actually tell them that if you report them it's going to have very bad consequences for them or maybe if you have a cousin who keeps making rude comments at you you can simply tell them

that you're not very happy about what you're saying and whatever they're saying is going to actually affect your relationship with them so when you are faced with an insult it is important that you tell the person who is insulting you what you actually feel the third point to note when responding to an insult is to make sure that you ignore the insult completely now let me tell you ignoring an insult is sometimes the wisest and the best thing to do why would you ignore an insult and not respond to it well you can ignore an

insult simply because you want to ensure that the person who's insulted you should not feel that they've affected you in any way so when you actually ignore the insult you're telling the person that look i'm not affected by it okay now how would you ignore an insult you can ignore an insult by changing the topic of conversation and talking about something entirely unrelated or you could just walk away from the place that you are having this conversation with this person so you could leave the room you could leave the place that you are being insulted

or spoken rudely at so say for example you're at work and your co-worker makes fun about the way you present a particular topic so you don't feel very good about it but you want to ignore it so you will simply walk out of the room or talk about you know a different project altogether which is not even related to the one that you have worked upon right now so ignoring an insult is one of the wisest things to do another very interesting way of responding to an insult is by using humor you're right humor is

probably the best defense mechanism when you have to attack an insult now how do you do this now when someone's making a joke at you you can try using that person's joke and using that joke to actually put the joke back at them but of course you've got to do it in a very nice light-hearted way which ensures that they don't feel offended and at the same time it makes the atmosphere very easy and not so very tense so say for example if a colleague or a co-worker makes fun of the fact that you walk

into work late every day they call you mislate or miss toddy what you can actually do is you can say that yes i do come late but i am actually learning to come late from you i see you walking late in every day as well so you're actually taking the insult but you're kind of directing the joke back at them so you've got to ensure that when you're actually doing that you've got to be very you know natural in tone you don't have to raise your voice in order to ensure that they don't get as

offended as you've probably gotten when they've made the insult or they remark at you the next thing you need to know is that you have to sometimes also report insults now let me tell you if insults are based or related to gender sexuality religion or disability it is against the law the person who is actually doing that is not doing a very lawful thing and it is your right as the victim to actually report these kind of acts now at school or at work you have anti-harassment departments which actually would listen to your plight and

would do the right thing in order to ensure that you don't have to face the insults ever again doing good things for yourself will always help you feel good and therefore it is my advice to always indulge in self-care so if you are being mocked or insulted or spoken rudely to on a continual basis if you actually do some little good things for yourself you can feel very good from the inside it could be anything you can go for a quiet walk you could go and get yourself a nice haircut you could go to the

spa you could just work out if that helps you get feel better anything in order to ensure that you feel good about yourself so please please indulge in self-care because not everyone will make you feel good you've got to do that for yourself well people are always going to put you down but it's up to you to actually bring yourself up and stay strong so it is important that you write a journal when you write a journal you can actually document or make a list of things that you actually like about yourself so this is

a list of things that you like about you so it could be things that relate to your strengths it could be things that relate to what you've achieved over the number of years or it could simply be anything that tells you that you are just a very beautiful person well i hope you found this lesson very useful and very insightful about what you can do when you are insulted so now you know what you can do and what you must not do when you are insulted or in a situation where you feel mocked or ridiculed

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