but there are aspects to all of us that if they were exposed to the harsh unsympathetic critic would result in severe humiliation and mercury from close up we are none of us reliably impressive we get agitated fretful cantankerous and panicky under the pressure of events we shout slam doors and let out screams or wails we have episodes of absurd clumsiness we bump into doors trip and drop things down our front we're worried pretty much all the time about how others see us about where our careers are going and about everything important that we've forgotten to
do in our lives we long for love but our unthinking and insensitive around those close to us we are ghosts in our efforts to seduce and pitiful in our requests for attention our bodies have a range of shameful habits and vulnerabilities we are from certain angles truly embarrassing propositions all this we struggle to hide the inner idiot is carefully monitored and ruthlessly gagged we have learned from our earliest years that the only priority around vulnerability is to disguise it completely we strive remorselessly to look composed to erase the evidence of our silliness and to try
to appear a great deal more normal than we know we are we are understandably very focused on the downsides of vulnerability what is far less well recognized is vulnerabilities occasional very significant and profound upsides there are moments when the revelation of weakness far from being a catastrophe is the only possible route to connection and respect at points we made there to explain with rare frankness that we are afraid that we are sometimes bad and that we have done many silly things and rather than appalling our companions these revelations may serve to endear s to them
humanizing us in their eyes and letting them feel that their own vulnerabilities have echoes in the lives of others together we realize that the definition of what is normal has missed out on key aspects of our mutual re in other words the vulnerability can be a bedrock of friendship friendship properly understood not just or primarily as a process of admiration but as an exchange of sympathy and consolation for the Troublesome business of being alive there can of course be unfortunate ways of handling vulnerability when we do so in the form of an aggressive demand that
others rescue us or when our frailties lack of boundaries or when we're close to rage in hysteria rather than melancholy or grief good vulnerability doesn't expect another person to solve all our difficulties we let them see a tricky part of who we are simply in the hope that they will be Bolden to feel more at ease with their own less dignified sighs good vulnerability is fundamentally generous it takes the first step of disclosure so as to render it safe for others to unburden themselves and disclose something of their hidden selves in turn it's a gift
in the form of a risk taken for somebody else furthermore displays of vulnerability have a curious way of signaling that we are despite the embarrassing of owls far from fundamentally ridiculous or pitiful we are rather strong enough to be weak to let our silliness our idiocy our anger and our sadness show confident that these do not have to be the final verdicts on who we are we proceed with a bold sense that despite the lack of surface evidence everyone is in the end has wounded aggrieved worried and damaged as we are and that we're not
therefore through our disclosures casting ourselves out of the Klan for good we are simply reconfirming our essential membership of the human race it's something of a minor tragedy that we should spend so much of our lives striving to hide our weakness when it is in fact only upon the dignified sharing of vulnerability that true friendship and love can arise we love bringing you these films if you want to help us to keep bringing you thoughtful content please consider supporting us by visiting our shop at the link on your screen now
