Mom Deterred Me from Buying House As Sister Would Be Hurt; Now Wants Me To Take Her In

time to pull up a chair we've got another great story for you today in the AR Lounge family drama at its finest when your mom's idea of support involves a hous whoring gift in the form of your sister's luggage today in the AR Lounge who knew that pursuing your dreams would be considered rubbing salt in your siblings wounds mom deterred me from buying a house the sister would be hurt now wants me to take her in I banned them I'm here because I feel so stupid right now I cannot comp Rend my mom's intention when

she said I 32 female shouldn't buy a house just because my sister 38 female would be hurt my sister who is broke divorced twice not judging at all and living off the maintenance provided by her ex-husband would be feeling bad if I buy a house with my own hard-earned money like really it's not that I'm going to pay heed to her advice but it just baffles me to think that she could deter me like this you see I've always been the responsible one I took my studies seriously worked hard and put in the effort to

secure a decent future for myself my sister not so much she's four years older than me and I've seen her closely making awful Life Choices she always relied on someone else to pick up the pieces for her mom had a soft spot for her which created a distance between me and Mom 3 months ago after years of saving and planning I finally decided to buy my own house it wasn't an impulsive decision I've been slogging my butt off for over a decade lived frugally in a ding apartment and saved every scent to have my own

place someday last quarter I got a hefty bonus for completing 10 years in a company with a substantial rise I feel now it was the right time to invest in something tangible the house I've been dreaming of since my childhood I grew up in a broken house my parents were not married dad left us when I was two and never contacted us again mom said she tried all means to reach out to him for the child's abort but he just vanished he appeared in our lives when we were an adult apologized and wanted to work

on the relationship but we maintained the distance it is a separate story altogether in short my mom was a single parent and worked two jobs to raise us I also started earning while still in high school we always lived in a rented apartment and money was always the problem so I grew up with a dream of owning a house one day I had everything planned out I even checked out a few properties within my budget and filled out the mortgage application but before I took the final step I thought it would be respectful to talk

to my mom about it I wasn't seeking permission I'm an adult after all but I thought she'd be happy for me proud even I couldn't have been more wrong when I told my mom about my plans to buy a house instead of being happy or congratulatory she looked at me with shock and disapproval her first reaction to this was are you really going to buy it or is this just a passing thought I was taken aback I mean what kind of question is that I fumbled yeah I really want to buy it and it's not

just a thought it's my dream to own a house I've been saving for years and it's time I have a place place of my own she curled her lips and dismissed me saying I don't think that's a good idea I was confused because this was not what I expected I asked her why not she just brushed it off saying no no no it's not the right time at all when I pestered her for an explanation she said your sister is going through a tough time right now she's already struggling so much can you imagine how

she'll feel if you buy a house when she can barely afford to keep a roof over her head I couldn't believe what I was hearing my sister's financial situation had always been down and out she had been divorced twice she got married for the first time when she was barely 18 everyone cautioned her not to take the plunge so early yet she dropped out of high school just before her final test and got married got divorced at 23 remarried at 27 and again got divorced at 33 her second divorce was a messy split from her

cheating husband who still pays her a bare minimum of Maintenance just enough to scrape by I can't say I was completely surprised when their marriage crumbled I predicted it long before it actually happened she has a habit of spending the evening with Mom and this pushed her husband away I absolutely do not justify his cheating but you know she's also one of the reasons why he drifted away from her there used to be an ugly fight between them because she didn't give him any time she wouldn't go out with him most of the time she

was glued to Mom they would go shopping movies and strolling together while leaving her husband alone at home I don't know why but she just loved lounging at my mom's place every dang evening they sit and gossip about every dang thing on earth my sister has always been a source of stress for me after her first divorce instead of picking herself up and finding a way to be self-sufficient she moved back in with Mom she has a laid-back attitude towards life and expects the best of everything she dropped out of high school to marry the

love of her life after that love fell apart mom asked her to go back to school but she didn't go she did a few jobs here and there loitered around for most of her time and then got herself another loser another divorce I even asked her to pick up some skills and get a job but her lazy butt refused to move she relies entirely on the chump change her ex-husband is legally obligated to give her and our mom's never-ending support the interesting part is Mom happily fending for her but I was expected to manage everything

on my own I'd worked hard to complete my education juggled jobs in school until I finally graduated I wasn't handed anything on a platter every penny I saved was because of my own efforts and now I wanted to use that money to secure my future but my mom wasn't pleased I was almost in tears with her reaction and fought back that I've worked really hard for this I shouldn't have to put my life on hold because she's not in a good place but mom was like you don't understand how she feels she has nothing you

have everything rolling for you a good job savings and even a boyfriend tomorrow you might just announce that you're getting married and I couldn't say no to that but house no it's too much for pixie sister to handle I told Mom that it wasn't my fault if her life was falling apart she needs to take control of her life just like I did but Mom's ultimate argument is she's your sister and families don't hurt each other and rub their success onto each other's misery this wasn't the first time my mom had tried to guilt me

into putting my sister's needs above my own but this time it was just too much she was asking me to sacrifice something I had worked towards for years just to spare my sister's feelings and what if my sister is never in a good place financially does that mean I need to sacrifice my happiness mom got offended at this that I'm looking down upon my sister I wasn't belittling her but this is true she's had years to get back on her feet it's not like this is a new situation her situation has always been miserable and

she had made peace with that mom snapped at me that pixie is still recovering from her husband's cheating and I should be patient she said if you've no better things to do with the money give it to your sister she wanted to start her online business but couldn't do it until now because of the money problem I was horrified at her advice I said this was the last thing I would ever do with my money I would rather spend it on a luxury trip than give it to my sister when I know it's not going

to yield any result our argument turned into a fight I tried to make my point that her divorce happened long back and she needs to move on if she hasn't already and put her life together and her personal life crisis has nothing to do with my goals but she wouldn't budge she kept insisting that me buying a house would only rub salt in the wound making my sister feel even worse about her situation I finally put my foot down and said whatever she says or thinks I don't care I'm going to move forward with my

plan I'm just so distraught right now how could parents be so cruel and insensitive sometimes it makes me question my own sanity if I'm seeing things how it is or if I'm overreacting it sounds like you've worked hard and made sacrifices and now you're just trying to enjoy the fruits of your labor op it's important to remember that you have every right to pursue your dreams and make decisions based on what's best for you it's not fair for you to have to put your plans on hold or sacrifice your happiness just because of your sister's

situation update one thanks for hyping me and yes congratulations to me for the house nothing fancy just a two-bedroom house with a spacious living room and a tiny front lawn it is located in a good neighborhood though sorry I couldn't update earlier I've been busy setting up the house but here's the new update as I mentioned in my first post I bought the house despite my mom's objections I knew I wanted this for myself whether my mom liked it or not I didn't even inform her about it it wasn't out of spite I just couldn't

handle another round of guilt tripping I figured they would find out eventually and I would deal with the Fallout then I was hurting because it's a big thing for me and I wanted my family to cherish the moment I wanted to involve her in the process but she called for the boycott I was low-key with my family after the last fight mom texted and called me a few times but I didn't respond she thought I was angry her last text was I know you're mad at me but trust me this is the best thing for

you and your sister we're family and we shouldn't hurt each other once you cool off you would see the goodness in not rubbing the dang house at your sister's face I let it slide and waited for the news to reach them eventually it reached them sooner than I expected a couple of weeks after I moved in I posted a selfie on the front lawn with a coffee nothing too revealing I didn't think too much of it I was just proud of my new space and wanted to share it with friends I ensured to hide everyone

who would leak this information to my mom and sister but I missed removing my mom's Church friend she saw it and spilled the beans on the Sunday prayer and within hours my phone started blowing up with messages from a mom and sister I was busy I didn't see the messages I didn't even realize that her friend saw my post until I received a call from my mom it was after months that she was calling me so I responded and as soon as I did that she launched into a tie raade how could you do this

you know how much your sister is struggling and you go and buy a house without even telling us what did you want to prove by going behind our back and fulfilling your gosh darn ego instead of hanging up I decided to face the bullet I said I didn't think it was necessary to inform you I knew how you would react mom snapped at me in between of course you know how it react you went behind our backs and did it anyway I could hear my sister in the background telling Mom I told you she doesn't

care for us she just seeks an opportunity to make me look small it made my blood boil she always play the victim always the one who needs to be coddled and protected meanwhile I was expected to put my life on hold to sacrifice my own happiness for her sake mom lashed out at me calling me selfish and pompous who doesn't care about others feelings it led to an ugly fight I told her I'm proud of taking a stand for myself even if they don't like it the conversation ended with my mom hanging up on me

I was shaking with anger and frustration but I felt relief I did what I wanted and didn't give into their pressure last week was my birthday none of them wished me neither did they invite me for the Thanksgiving yesterday it would be a lie if I said I didn't feel hurt of course I do but I'm glad I saw their true colors I'm going to remain no contact with them if they don't need me I don't need them either congratulations on your new home op it's great to hear you've taken a big step for yourself

and it sounds like you've created a space you're proud of it's natural to feel hurt by their reaction and the lack of support but it's also important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness staying true to yourself and making decisions that align with your values is a strength even if it means facing difficult consequences wishing you all the best as you settle into your new home and focus on creating a positive and fulfilling space for yourself update two I thought this would end with me going no contact with them but it didn't end there last

week my mom and sister showed up at my door unannounced mind you this happened after 2 months of them knowing about the house I was caught off guard when I saw them standing there the stupid me thought they were here to iron out things I invited them inside before I offered them to give a house tour they themselves wandered around I could see the wheels turning in my mom's head she was calculating and planning and I knew that whatever came next wasn't going to be good her first sentence was this is a nice place like

really nice I didn't know what else to say apart from thanks her compliment was also confusing my sister didn't say anything just wandered around the living room one of my rooms is empty I wanted to make it a study but I'm yet to buy the stuff my mom entered that empty room and said pixie can take this room it has a perfect view of the lawn it would help her ease up the depression I was shocked I wasn't even sure I'd heard her right I asked her what she meant and she said this house as

if it was the most obvious thing in the world it's perfect for your sister she can move in here with you just until she gets back on her feet I stared at her dumbfounded are you serious she replied of course I'm serious and looked at me like I was the one being unreasonable she needs a place to live somewhere she can recover from everything she's been through this house is perfect for that she's living in the dark apartment and unable to overcome her gloomy life she needs brightness and this house would give her the freshness

and positive vibe that she needs to move forward in her life I flipped out no it's not I'm not going to let her move in with me I bought this house because I wanted a place of my own and not because she could heal from her superficial depression I'm not going to sacrifice my peace for her mom got furious at me and said your sister is your family how could you be so heartless her argument was that she's my sister and she's been through so much and I have the means to help her so it's

my duty as her sister to help it's not that I've never helped my sister I've given her the handout whenever she was in a tight spot I bought her gifts dresses shoes and bags whenever I got a raise and on her birthdays and Christmas what else do they expect from me I was fuming with anger yet I controlled my emotions and told her I'd given enough I've sacrificed enough I've spent my entire life doing what you and pixie wanted and I'm done this is my life my house and I'm not going to let let anyone

take that away from me until then pixie was just sitting in the corner and sulking she finally spoke up in a pathetic voice I just don't understand why you're being so mean I thought we were family but sadly you don't consider us anything I wanted to call out her crocodile tears but that would have turned into the conversation in some other direction so I told her we're family but that doesn't mean I have to give up everything I've worked for just to make you feel better you need to start taking responsibility for your own life

like I did pixie broke down and said I don't have any means to achieve anything in life you have it as a family we should have each other's back if I were in your situation and you were in mine I would have definitely let you in that's not my fault you made your choices just like I made mine and now you have to live with the consequences there was a long uncomfortable silence after that it may have been rude for me to say such things to her but what choice did I have they were just

getting on my nerves my mom was angry and my sister was hurt and teary I started feeling a little guilty of my words but I suppressed my emotions and asked them to leave Mom looked at me with disbelief she wanted to argue but I could see that she knew it was pointless she stared at me with cold eyes you're making a big mistake she grabbed my sister's arm pulled her towards the door and left I closed the door behind them I leaned against the door for a moment I wasn't sure if I did the right

thing sometimes I think I'm selfish for not letting my sister move in with me but then I remember the resentment I got from them when I told them about my house plan I know my relationship with my mom and sister would never be the same but I also know I couldn't keep living my life for them I have to live for myself your decision to not let your sister move in with you is completely valid you worked hard to achieve this milestone for yourself and it's reasonable to want to enjoy your own space without feeling

obligated to accommodate someone else's needs it's not selfish to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being especially after having made significant sacrifices already you don't owe her anything update three thanks for validating my actions I'm glad so many of you were able to connect with my feelings it also makes me wonder how many of us have been exploited by our loved ones in the name of family here's something new that happened over the next few days I tried to get back to my normal routine but the tension with my family was always at the back

of my mind then one evening I came home from work to find them lurking in my driveway my heart sank when I saw them and I immediately knew that this wasn't going to be a pleasant visit they hadn't called or texted to say they were coming they had just showed up as if they had every right to invade my space I parked the car and walked over to them trying to keep my annoyance in check what are you doing here I didn't want to be rude but somehow I spoke in an impudent tone they both

looked miserable mom told me that her landlord has threatened to lock them outside if they don't pay the rent apparently they've defaulted the rent for 2 months and the owner is chasing them it may be wonder what they were doing with the money they earned they're living together mom claims that pixie works hard then she definitely should be bringing money then how come they couldn't pay rent for 2 months I asked them this question and Mom insisted we go inside and talk as they've been standing in the cold for a long time as soon as

I walked towards my door I saw two suitcases lying on the front porch I was like what the hell mom said let's get inside and we'll answer everything you want to know I let them in because it was chilly outside but I asked them to leave their baggage outside yeah literally mom told me that pixie hated her job and wanted to start her online business so Mom gave out her savings to set up her business mom kept pouring in the money through her salary and credit card when she couldn't move the needle even after trying

for 5 months she gave up now Mom was left with no savings and piled up bills I was like wow you give up your savings for her dumb business and you were asking me to bet my life savings on it I could have been in the same situation if I followed your advice mom gestured at me to stop talking thrash about Pixie when she was sitting right in front of us I said I don't care you can continue to enable her entitled Behavior but expect any coddling from me Pixie started crying and said it was

cruel of me to humiliate her when she came to my door for help I said I'm not humiliating anyone I'm just speaking the truth and if they don't want to hear it they better stay away from me mom started sobbing that they came to me with the Last Hope and I was turning them down I said it was not my fault that they felt entitled to barge into my house when they were the ones who were against the idea of me buying the house with my own money they continued to Gaslight me until I stood

up and asked them to leave Mom said I should forget that I have a mother and sister I said sure it's better to have no family than to have toxic ones like them they left I don't know how to feel about their situation would I be Wicked to think that they've brought the misery upon themselves and it's none of my problem it's not Wicked to think they've brought some of this upon themselves especially given the context of their actions and attitudes you've been more than generous in the past and it's crucial to remember that you're

not responsible for their choices or the consequences of those choices give yourself permission to feel whatever you need to feel and remember that it's okay to prioritize your own well-being you've made your position clear and sometimes stepping away from toxic Dynamics is necessary for your own health and happiness have you ever been asked to sacrifice something you've worked hard for what did you do let us know in the comments below and thank you for joining us today in the r Lounge be sure to like And subscribe and hit that notification Bell so you don't miss

out on our next video see you soon and put your chair back where you found it