How to master your self-care routine with Fernanda Ramirez

selfcare isn't just the beauty routines the like ice rolling or whatever it's a lot of internal work and showing up confidently and authentically and just being like a kind person to other people all of that is [Music] selfcare hello everyone and welcome back to the self-obsessed podcast today we're going to be talking all things self-care because I feel like it's just a term that's thrown around all the time and I think everybody can get so confused with the meanings it's often turned into a commodity we often assume that we need to spend so much money

just to be able to have the right self-care routine it's often over complicated as well and I want to break all of those misconceptions today to teach you how to actually Master a self-care routine that suits your needs caters you and fulfills you and of course I have a very special guest today who I think is the queen of self-care so is going to be perfect for this episode please say hi everyone to Fernando Ramirez hello everyone I am so happy to be on this podcast I'm so excited honestly hearing you live I'm like this

is it I'm I'm listening to what I hear and I love it I love that and I can't wait to see where this conversation goes today I have so many tips on selfcare like it's honestly been such a journey for me but I can't wait to hear what you have to say as well for those of you who don't know who Fernanda is if you don't please you must be living under a rock Fernanda is the host of a better you podcast and on her YouTube channel she makes a lot of Lifestyle content she shows

you her daily life her morning routines her self-care tips and she also offers practical advice to help you be your best self exactly honestly you nailed that um I am I guess full-time YouTuber and as of last year a pod podcast host and honestly top talking about all different topics such as like confidence and Independence and honestly working on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself so yeah touching all those subjects and something I really love is Aesthetics and self-care and just making everything look beautiful so that's that's a big thing on mine too

amazing so without further Ado let's get right into the episode but before we do be sure to check out all the links Below in the description you'll find all of my socials as well as Fernandez perfect so I obviously want to kick off the episode by asking what does self-care mean to you I feel like everybody has such a different meaning so I'd love to know yours and also what was your entry point into living a self-caring lifestyle MH um I have been practicing self-care now for I feel like a few years I started my

YouTube channel like in 2020 so since then I got really locked into doing the glowing up at home and working on myself within um since then I feel like it's just become a part of my like daily life and I've realized how much it impacts everything else that I do if I don't have a good self-care routine and I'm not taking care of myself I can't do my job properly I can't show up as a good friend I can't just be a good person to other people so that is why it is so important to

me but I feel like what I've learned also is that selfcare isn't just the beauty routines the like ice rolling or whatever it's a lot of internal work and showing up confidently and authentically and just being like a kind person to other people all of that is selfcare and like that is why it's so important to me amazing I love that you said that I love that you included that self-care is about being a good friend to others and showing up correctly in your life and I think that's the perfect way to define it it

does get really over complicated and I say that because I was one of those people that was so confused I was like what do I even do I do a bubble bath like what even is this but it's literally just caring for oneself in whichever way suits you everybody has different needs everybody needs to be looked at after a different way um for me I heavily agree with everything you said but I in my life discipline has been a really huge thing for me like making sure that I'm prioritizing long-term gain over my just short-term

impulses and Pleasures that I want to do like I've been practicing I'm like a big shopper I little shopping so do I so do I so I have actually been researching little hacks and systems that I can use to just make sure that I'm dealing with that habit in a good way and I'm putting my money to better to use because I know that's going to benefit future me better so like there's this rule where if you want to buy anything you have to wait 3 days before you buy it because and it sounds simple

the amount of times after 3 days I'm like why did I even want to spend my money on that honestly I completely understand with so many Trends going on I feel like that is something that I need to do or even ask myself like is this practical will I wear this out and not just for a photo cuz especially I feel like with the social media World especially for us influencer girl is like we'll get get something and think it's cute for a photo and it's like are you going to wear this out in public

do I feel comfortable riding a train and that that's what I need to ask myself exactly see it's asking those questions and whether it actually serves you and I think that that links into selfcare itself as well like I love an everything shower as much as an next girly but it's not going to solve our problem it it really won't and I wanted to add to you saying about discipline I feel like discipline is something that can set you free I feel like I've heard a lot of people say that and that really kind of

struck like a nerve with me that even though it feels hard in the moment It ultimately gives you like the freedom to do whatever you want and to you know show up like you said well in all different aspects of your life I feel like over the past like month and a half I really decided I was like okay I need to lock in I need to get my discipline together and already I feel like everything in my life is just flowing better my systems are better my outcomes are better and yeah although it is

fun to do whatever you want and like attend to how you feel in the moment you don't really achieve your long-term goals doing that so I definitely think having a good discipline for yourself and just like reminding yourself of the things that you want long term is like a big self-care thing 100% And with discipline I feel like that's where the lines get a little bit blurry between self-care and self- Lov because I often think that discipline is such a great pillar of self- love as well and this is something that I used to get

confused about all the time and in my book that just came out by yourself the dam flowers I actually um included a whole table of self-care practices versus self- Lov and I'd love to know your perspective on it as well like what is something that you feel like is exclusive to your self-care routine and then something that's exclusive to your self-loving routine M first of all congratulations to you you for one um I need to get one I need to go like pick it up in store first of all I'll get you a cou I

was so excited okay um other than that though self- Lov and selfcare I actually just posted a YouTube video like last week on self-love and one of the big things that I did in that video was doing a lot of like journaling I feel like that to me is like showing myself giving myself the space to express myself and to really understand like the root causes of like why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling and being okay with feeling all different types of things if I'm happy and sad 1 hour apart that's okay and they

can coexist and having that self-compassion to me is like self-love whereas self-care sometimes it can be the more superficial things and just treating yourself how you want to be treated you know giving yourself like you said buying yourself the damn flowers giving yourself the treatment that you want um also I think that the way that you treat yourself kind of sets the standard for how other people should treat you so if I'm buying myself flowers if I'm treating myself with self-care and self- Lov then the next person should be doing that to you too so

I think that this self-care for me is as a Libra also I don't know if you're into like horoscope I think I found out recently you're a Libra and I'm like we're going to get along yeah are you Libra yeah okay okay okay no wonder it makes sense yeah as a Libra I just feel like I all the things that are like unfortunately I okay because it sounds a little bit um what's the word like vain but doing things revolving like Beauty it just makes me feel good and even if it's making my space look

beautiful it makes me feel good and to me that's another part of self-care just having all of my surroundings feel like they kind of reflect how I feel inside there you go yeah and that that's it it's literally just about thinking what makes me personally happy I'm sure some people would think that organizing their space or getting a manicure is stressful to them but to others like to me I love it it makes me feel so neat and so cute and that's where you really need to think what serves me rather than what serves everybody

else exact and I think a lot of people actually I asked my audience on Instagram I was like what questions do you guys have around self care for this episode and one of the most common ones I got was how do you actually stay consistent and motivated on your selfcare journey and I thought I actually think the consistency and motivation comes naturally when you're doing things that fuel your desires and your needs when you are trying to keep up with what makes everybody else feel good EG bubble baths or working out in a certain way

that you might not like um or everything showers and Beauty rituals that's when it starts to feel like a chore like oh I need to do this every week no you don't no and it feels a lot more Forest I was actually just talking to someone like last week and they were saying like whenever they have to journal it just it never sticks cuz they don't like doing that like it's just not a habit that comes naturally to them and for that reason I feel like doing what makes you feel good and also like sometimes

even writing down like in your notes or just on a journal thinking to yourself what actually makes me feel good and going from that list not just something that you hear online um something that I said in my previous video that I just posted is when I was trying to feel better I love going out I love seeing my friends I love going to dance and that's probably not everyone's self-care definition for me I love doing that it always makes me feel better as an extrovert I go see people I feel like I'm on top

of the world for someone else that might just be their nightmare or me saying like let's go to the club that sounds horrifying but to me that's self- Lov that's selfcare and also it is I Feel Like Loving to yourself to be okay with those things like not having any um guilt or shame for the things that make you feel good even just going out and dancing with your friends seeing other people interacting with them dancing is all all ways to hack your happy hormones they literally raise your doam serotonin and that will literally raise

your vibration so that's such a great unique um self self-care habit but have you made any mistakes in your self-care Journey where you look back and you're like I was I was trying to force that or that wasn't even me and maybe you were trying to follow a trend I mean like I said for self-care things I think when you get too focused on doing the beauty things it's obviously just it's not helpful to anyone um and also like I said even though those things are great if you're too focused on that it's it's it's

not a good look for you it's not a good look for the people around you it's it's just you're focus on yourself too much so that I feel like for one is just when I'm focused too much on that it's not helpful um as for another one like I mean I really don't like running that's kind of really random that's really random but like I hate cardio I've tried to do the cardio classes and every time I feel like I'm going to faint I'm just not okay like and people love it they Rave about it

that's just not for me and I've accepted that that's that that's not it so I definitely try to do other workouts that are not that even if it's like yoga or Pilates or doing weightlifting like any of those things are better running it's not going to happen for me or even waking up at like 5:00 a.m. to go on a I was going to say that's so funny you say that because yoga for me is one of those selfcare habits that looks so amazing I see all the Pinterest girlies doing it and I'm like I

want to be you it's just every time I do I personally find it really really boring I'm a plates girly but yoga I can't do like I love the idea of like nighttime routine do some yoga on your pink Pilates uh yoga at home it doesn't serve me same with 5:00 a.m. I went through like maybe six months where I was doing it and I did feel good but I just feel like longterm it wasn't a great strategy for me yeah I am always really productive at night I don't mind working until I fall to

sleep so I like to do that because that just suits my productivity and the way that I want to work in my career yeah I also feel like the older that you get or the more that you're kind of being intentional with what you're doing you can actually really figure out what works for you because for me it's I work in the morning and at night it's like I'm so tired I'm not doing anything anymore but that is something that maybe at the beginning of my I guess even like Journey or career whatever I didn't

know that and I would stay up so late and I just realized like that doesn't serve me that is not helpful at a certain point you just got to turn it off and give yourself the rest that you need as well so for everyone it's a little bit different but just like really knowing yourself and I feel like that comes with time and just like self-reflection so I love that you mentioned journaling before I love that you said that going out and dancing with your friends is your self-care kind of ritual and on the self-obsessed

podcast we are all about offering practical tips and value and just actionable things for the audience to follow so I would love to just get a quick list from you of your favorite self-care rituals or even self-care rituals that you think other people should try maybe your friends try them out and you would just love to put them out there cuz I think a lot of people don't even know where to St um first of all waking up in the morning I love an ice roller and I love an gacha cute that is like simple

but I feel like a lot of people don't actually follow through with it and there is like so many immediate benefits as well as I feel like longterm they just make me feel so like prepared and like ready for the day as well as taking honestly a shower like every single morning I feel ready to take on the day and also looking cute and presentable and then going out into the world feeling like that I feel like I want to be seen I want to be out in public I want to have conversations with people

I feel more confident and everything just comes a lot more natural to me um what else I also honestly I love doing goal setting at the beginning of the month I feel like that is something that actually creates momentum for me and also like halfway through the month checking in and seeing if I've accomplished anything and if I haven't like what can I actually do every single day to get those things going and for me having a to-do list as simple as it is that is what's going to get me through the day through the

week and I feel like okay this one might be basic but asking for help I feel like a lot of people don't want to ask for help and they get a little bit caught up in their ego thinking I can do everything myself and even myself saying like before I didn't have an editor I didn't have an assistant I didn't have any sort of help and I thought it was a flex to be able to do everything on my own but it's truly not and I feel like having community and asking for help is like

what's going to get you further in the long run so if there's someone listening to this and they are struggling in school or maybe it's Sports maybe it's at their family they need to talk to a therapist or they need to talk to a a friend like don't be afraid to reach out and ask people for help for advice for an ear just someone to lean on because that will take you a lot further than trying to navigate everything by yourself yeah facts and not asking for help and thinking that the the world has to

fall on your shoulders is such a prime example of self-sabotage which is the opposite of self-care and for me my definition of self-care links a lot into parenting in a way like I think self-care can really go down to the basics of like making sure that you eat three times a day which when you're studying or when You' just out alone can be a struggle for a lot of people or making sure that all of your meals are balanced and you're keeping up with your nutrition and you're moving your body every single day you're looking

after your inner child you are correcting your limiting beliefs that is you looking after yourself and I think the purpose of self-care for me is it always goes back to trying to make sure I can lead as much of a joyful and just seamlessly flowing life as I possibly can like how much joy can I extract from today what habits can I do in the morning in the night in the mid of the day how I perceive things to contribute to that I really like how you said about the inner child I feel like that's

definitely something that helps me when I'm having a rough patch it's like how would I take care of myself if I was a little baby and I feel like honestly seeing it like that it does make you want to you know water are your own plants and yeah I definitely the food thing is I feel like a really important thing to me I've recently been into having a lot of um what is it like steak like a high protein diet everybody everyone everyone's been on it honestly I've seen such an improvement in my energy levels

and like productivity throughout the day as well as like making a hobby out of cooking I think as a early 20s moving out whatever I was so into the ordering food I was like wow I have so much Freedom it wasn't serving me long term and it doesn't actually make you feel better so definitely I feel like cooking is another one of those self-care habits that has obviously helped me physically but like mentally emotionally like literally across the board energy levels even I've just felt so much better I love that you mentioned energy because that's

one of my cool um self-care rituals over the last week I've actually been in such a slump and every single morning I just was really tired for some reason I was like I don't have any motivation and every morning I'd like be showering and I'd be thinking all I want to do is stay in my pajamas all day I want to like sit in front of Netflix all day I don't want to do anything and I did give myself the time to just rest and do that and then 3 days later I was like okay

this is a little bit ridiculous now like I know how much joy I extract from getting stuff on my to-do list done I owe it to myself to get back to that place how do I get there and what you said about showering is actually really powerful because I'm sure to a lot of people that might just sound like simple daily task but um I actually have recently learned about energy cleansing rituals oh yeah I I do that there you go I know about it showering is one of them if you are feeling kind of

down going into the shower and just visualizing the water like as it's running down your body removing every negative thought every negative vibe and just re-energizing you is so powerful and I also decided that one of the bad habits I was doing was while I was showering for the day I was imagining all of the things I wanted to do in the moment which was be lazy stay in bed not go anywhere not see anyone and yesterday to try and get out of it I visualized myself stepping out of the shower picking up my vlogging

camera and intro a vlog so that I could get some content done then sitting down doing my Glam putting on an outfit that made me feel really really good cuz it's like you said I want to be seen then there's like once you have a nice outfit in some jard you're not going back to bed you're not going back to bed I want to be at a coffee shop I want to keep walking I want to go to seven different locations yes so I did that and then those were just a few of the steps

I needed in a day to just shift myself back to my usual routine and that is such a prime example of self-care for myself M I think um I don't know what it's called but there is like a I guess a technique and like even the books Atomic habits where you have to make the systems easier for you and if getting ready is going to make all of those other next tasks easier for you then so be it if you need to set your shoes out the night before before you're going to go work out

the next day do that and it's going to make it easier just avoiding all the block that you can have for me recently I got the aura ring um and yeah yeah yeah and it's like tracking your sleep I I I mean also another Super not cheap not inexpensive purchase but I got an iPad and I feel like it's also helped with my productivity levels but like the iPad the O-ring I'm like I'm going to get these two things and I'm going to feel so much more productive I'm going to you know start doing my

habit tracking and as those things are just like external for me you don't even need an iPad you could do a habit tracker on like a piece of paper whatever it is but having those things in place Place made everything else come on a lot easier um and also like you said about the energy I feel like I've really been into meditation and I always have phases where I'm really into it and sometimes I'm not and I think also again that's okay having compassion for yourself when you feel in the mood to do something and

when not that's okay but imagining kind of like having a white like bubble around you and like feeling like your energy is cleansed like you don't have any negativity on you like all of just like the black energy is just coming off of you I always feel so much lighter and then you're just walking out throughout your day just feeling feeling light feeling like you don't feel heavy and also having like a scan of your emotional like wellbeing when you're out and about or in the morning just feeling like how do I feel today um

taking just an extra five minutes to do that or even like practicing on your deep breathing you know doing breathing exercises I think really kind of sets the tone and the intention for how your day is going to go and just giving yourself the time to do that cuz sometimes you don't realize that you're in a bad mood and then the rest of the day it's like why am I getting mad so easily why am I snapping at this person why am I projecting on this person when it's like that is not necessary if you

took minutes to just reflect on how you're feeling you could kind of maybe not correct that but at least be aware and I feel like that's the first step in kind of approaching everything else with more grace and just you know trying your best yeah facts I love I think meditation and breathing work like you said there are such great examples of self-care doesn't have to cost anything and especially on social media a lot of the time we only see self-care as a commodity and you you assume that money has to leave your wallet in

order to practice selfcare which yeah sometimes it does does but it really just kind of depends on your lifestyle and your budget do you have any kind of go-to self-care practices that you could recommend that are lowbudget friendly um doing yoga at home I know you said you don't really like yoga but honestly doing a little bit of a stretch in the morning you don't even need to spend any money you can even watch a YouTube video that is what I love to do and I really feel like yoga has helped me so much honestly

in mindfulness and also just improving my flexibility and like my ability to stretch I think something that's really important to me is like when I'm older I don't want to not be able to like touch down even my legs or you know it's just there's so many reasons for why moving your body every day is so important but even just like the stretching thing because a lot of people do weightlifting or they do running but they don't take the time to like stretch their muscles and that's why they get HT like you're you're stretching your

body and you're like I'm young and I can do this now that's amazing exactly and gratitude that's another huge one I feel like sometimes when I'm walking on the street I'll just like think to myself like I'm so grateful that I'm alive I'm grateful that I'm in this beautiful city I'm grateful that it's a sunny day just saying what you're grateful for in the morning at night um those are things that are free and also just like as cheesy as it is like romanticizing whatever you're doing is a free thing that you can do that

is like completely just switching your perspective and makes every situation just so much better yeah it just goes to show selfcare doesn't have to be physical things you're doing for your body all the time it's actually just working on your mindset and doing your best to perceive things in the way that benefits you I said recently it was on a podcast I think that a lot of people are like how do you not worry when people are looking at you in public Maybe you're like wearing a unique outfit maybe you're taking a selfie recording yourself

and I'm like you don't know what that person's thinking of you why not do the self-caring favor of just not assuming a negative outcome I would like to think maybe that girl is admiring my outfit maybe she's literally just curious cuz I'm holding a camera you know it doesn't have to automatically go to they're judging me and I'm weird and I'm embarrassing yeah and also I feel like there's many times where I look at another girl and I'm like I love her outfit I'm like staring at her and so I think about that when other

people look at me and it's just like obviously like you said why not assume the best out of that situation but also I feel like with self- Lov and selfcare and whatever I feel like again I've been working on this a lot over the past week or over a few years now honestly um is doing like Shadow work and figuring out within yourself like what are the things I like what are the things I don't like and if there's things that I don't like how can I work on them and then once you know you're

kind of at a place where you've done the work inside and you realize the qualities that you like about yourself and you're really proud of those things you can kind of move through the world feeling confident in who you are and like you said when when you feel confidence in yourself you like yourself you want the best for yourself you will treat yourself with more respect and all those self-care habits come naturally to you because that's what you would do to someone else that you love and so I just feel like getting comfortable with yourself

enjoying the good qualities that you have and like taking pride in those that's a big self-care habit that like will seep into everything else that you do yeah another really great habit of you don't need to spend any money to do this for me my main like budget friendly self-care ritual is literally planning I'm such a planner girl love my list like you said love a habit tracker every Sunday is just so wholesome and calming to me I look forward to every week it's the one day that I don't work and in the morning I'm

doing my self- care rituals I'm stripping my sheets I'm going on a walk I'm getting my favorite latte and then I'm oiling my hair I'm doing my everything shower but I'm also relaxing and recently I've been spending every Sunday doing Hobbies because I'm like yes work is important and I H I'm ambitious and I have a lot of goals in my life but also I need to be catering in time to experience life for what it is it's a s it's just enjoying the of time and that to me is selfing and I love what

you said about obviously selfcare making sure that you're also showing up for other people in a really good way and it links into another one of the questions I got on Instagram where people asked how can I kind of balance self-care with being there for other people in my life and I think you don't have to choose between the two I think balancing your life practicing time manag having your routines even every Sunday when you're planning your week your time blocking and you're like Monday to Wednesday I'm like working from home and then Thursday night

I'm going to go out with my friends that is self-care you balancing that and making sure you're checking every box of living a good life yeah I also think that the people that love you should respect when you are taking time to have that self-care moment again I genuinely think if people are your friends if people your family like care about you they will respect when you take time for yourself and if they don't I mean obviously there's some situations where you can't remove people out of your life but if there's somebody that's not respecting

when you need time for yourself that is just that's a situation that can be also dealt with in a different situation but yeah I definitely think that there's a way to also cross I don't know what the word is but like going on a walk and seeing a friend at the same time you know you're talking you're walking you're both doing your self-care habits and you're incorporating your friends into your life um I love taking like my mom on little dates and just kind of bringing up her mood while also bringing up mine I get

to spend time with her and like you said we get to enjoy life experiences and like feel good doing it as well as doing like little friendship workout dates I think the best I have never heard or seen videos online of people doing their selfcare rituals together that's honestly a really good idea amazing that's a good idea no but you're you're talking about you're literally doing it I love that also speaking about friends like I think a lot of people have the issue where they can't bring their one friend to every single thing but having

a variety friends for different things that is something that's really important to me and I've got my workout friends I've got my weightlifting friends I've got my yoga friends I've got my going out friends and those are all valid and those are all filling up a certain Cup in my life and I'm also filling their Cup in a certain way so I definitely think that's important and also you can make friends which again another free activity you can do which will fill your cup for like a number of reasons but making those friends in those

workout classes and then kind of deciding together let's do a class next week let's do a class tomorrow again it doesn't even need to be your best friend but they can be your friend for that situation or whatever and obviously it can develop into something deeper and I think that's the ideal situation but yeah definitely bringing your friends for your selfcare practices very important that is such a good idea no one ever says that because a lot of the time it's self-care rituals that involve you isolating yourself staying at home just you know you but

yeah going out talking to new people making you friends is amazing human connection is so important it's everybody's purpose to like living a fulfilling life of course like why wouldn't you want to put yourself out there I always say that and this links into self love a little bit as well everybody that comes into your journey even if they've left your life even if they were only there for a season they're there for a reason because they help you discover parts of yourself that you wouldn't be able to unlock on your own everybody serves a

purpose and I think that's why no matter what kind of bond No Matter What timeline it is benefiting you so of course you'd want to keep meeting different types of people because you learn different things about yourself you grow you're influenced by them in such a beautiful way and so you continue to create the type of person that you want to be through all the connections you're fostering with everyone else exactly honestly I just love making you friends and like you said they all teach you something different within yourself and also if you pick friends

from a workout or know when you guys are going on a walk or whatever you're probably going to meet a friend that has a really good influence over you and you know you can kind of learn tips from them learn habits from them and sometimes I feel like as much as you can get tips from people online or read about things like even your own people closest to you kind of having an impact on you that way it really sticks to at least me so definitely that is something that I'm going to try to keep

doing as well as have been doing but um yeah love that okay so lastly before we wrap up and of course we offer our homework for this episode I wanted to discuss something that I've realized recently which is that self-care looks different in different eras and phases of your life so like not only ages but also what you might be doing maybe you're in education maybe you've started working maybe you're in your traveling era maybe you're a teenager you're in your 20s you're in your 30s and this as well is why I think it's so

important to re-evaluate your self-care rituals and think is this still serving Me Maybe I need to incorporate something else to kind of just meet my Ever Changing needs maybe when you're a teenager it does look more like having their self-care rituals getting your nails done because you just want that me time outside of your busy schedule of going to school and and seeing your friends maybe in your 20s when you've just started working and you are trying to budget maybe it's then like taking a step back looking at your budget trying to invest your income

like that's a really self-caring thing to do at that point of your life and then maybe in your 30s you want to take a break from your work because you've really been focusing on that for the last decade and now you want to meet your inner child's desire of just traveling for 3 months straight you know has your self-care routine kind of changed and evolved over the years and if so how um that's a great question I definitely think that my self-care habits have evolved since I've grown especially since I've moved out when I lived

at home I feel like there were so many things that I didn't have to think about like what I was eating or you know just spending time with friends or family because it just came to me so naturally and I was always at home my mom was always cooking I didn't have to worry about any of that kind of stuff if anything maybe when I was younger I was really into cleaning my room and just keeping my space so tidy cuz all I had was my bedroom when I moved out I definitely had a period

of just being like wait a second I am not used to not seeing my family I don't have my friends here I have to cook I have to clean like this is a lot of stuff going on here and at that time I really kind of I feel like went within and was just like locking in on the habits that I want to create for myself knowing that long term I'm going to have to you know I can't afford to keep my place messy I can't afford to not cook dinner I can't whatever so definitely

I feel like when I first moved out maybe like two years ago I was really into learning how to cook um as well as calling my parents that was something that I wasn't used to and I feel like that's a self-care habit that is free it's easy it's just it honestly makes you feel so much better and does kind of also embrace your inner child I feel like you feel you're most most youthful when you're like talking to your parents or you're just like with your family and again now that I feel like I'm I'm

almost 23 I feel like my self-care rituals that I've really been enjoying is seeing my friends going out of my way to see them because I know that this isn't going to last forever and you know when my friends start getting really serious boyfriends and moving in with them I'm not going to have that same Freedom that I do right now and so friendship is something that I really value and just taking the time to seeing them even if it's only for like an hour a day or like I said earlier having a walk with

them or going out on the weekends I love that and I think what you said as well about really trying to capitalize on that friendship time before they move to the next era of their lives it's all about taking advantage of where you're at right now which also links into to gratitude cuz you're like I love where I'm at but also it's eventually going to change so I might as well like pour in all of my presence and all of my effort and time into this right now to fully enjoy it and I think that's

that's such a great piece of advice for me um I can definitely relate I feel like a year and a half ago I was living with my family I just graduated University I didn't know where I was going and so every single day self self-care to me was being disciplined building those routines reading more listening to podcasts and just working on my career and my passion to ensure that future me right now could actually do what she wanted and thank God it paid off cuz here we are but right now having just moved to a

really big city that I've want to live in my whole life often times self-care to me is having to reflect and be like girl you have been inside too long like you need to go out you're living in the city you always wanted to B in let's go let's go on a solo date let's meet new people even like like I said before investing back into my hobbies to make sure I'm actually experiencing life and not getting so sucked into that productivity trap yeah I also feel like when I first started my channel and like

whatever I for the first like 2 years I was so that was all I could think about like I was editing every single day I was filming YouTube videos every single day and I worked really hard and again it was fun for me so it didn't feel like work but that was all that my mind really consumed of and even traveling I was only going to La New York and I was thinking to myself why would I go travel anywhere else when like these are the places that are going to benefit me right now and

then the following two years after that I was just kind of reaping the rewards from all the work that I put into myself um and my career and I think that that is also okay and knowing that you know you can enjoy what you've built up and if you never take the time to enjoy it like you said and be present then what is all that hard work for and at the end of the day you're not supposed to be in this just cycle of trying to be better and be better and be better because

you're never going to be like you know obviously you can compete with yourself but it gets to a point where you have to also enjoy what you've done for yourself and you know be grateful and be present in the current moment so yeah definitely well that brings us towards the end of this episode but don't go anywhere yet because of course at the end of every single self-obsessed podcast episode and each of my YouTube videos we always have a little homework section where we're basically going to wrap up everything we've said and just share with

you guys some of our favorite practical tips for you guys to really master your self-care Journeys make sure that you can start today this week so that not only have you consumed all of the self-help knowledge that you need but you're actually going to hold yourself accountable to put it into action so I'll kick us off m one self-care ritual that I would really recommend you guys Star is super easy and I'll give you a step by step I think the first thing is to really look inwards and re-evaluate what's going to serve me and

separate yourself from all of those Tik Tok trends of what makes other people feel good because that's when self-care starts to feel like a chore I think even write a list of what are the worry areas of my life right now what do I feel like isn't serving me what do I feel like I wish would be better maybe it is your routine maybe it's your consistency your discipline maybe it's your self-care rituals maybe it's your work life balance how often you're seeing everybody else in your life and then once you kind of identify those

areas you want to work on or you feel like if these were a little bit better then it would contribute to my happiness then you know what self-care rituals to really pour into and then it's really about scheduling time I used to always say like okay I need to do this more I need to do this more and then it just never gets done but if you can plan out this is when I have an appointment or this is when I'm seeing my friends or this is when I need to study you also need to

plan out like okay every Sunday is my reset or every Sunday is my everything shower or every Thursday morning I'm going to have breakfast with my best friend and catch up to pour into myself that way that is something I really really recommend along with focusing on your energy and having regular energy cleansers or like you said having journaling practices where you're thinking about how can I improve my energy are there any limiting beliefs that have been holding me back having that daily shower cleanse and and visualizing a better life for yourself yeah I want

to say um going off of that that um using like Google Calendars has been really helpful for me and like color coordinating everything so everything is super scheduled out I feel like it looks fun it's like aesthetically pleasing to look at um that's definitely been motivating me to like schedule in all the things as for me for something that I recommend to you guys listening is to start every morning with even if it's just five affirmations for yourself and your self-confidence thinking to yourself I am happy with the way that I look I am happy

with how my brain works I'm thankful for the creativity that pours out of me I love my feminine energy maybe like just things about yourself that you really love and say those things remind yourself of those things I think at first it can feel a little bit silly if you're not used to saying affirmations to to yourself but after a while those become second nature and it's just the way that you think and I feel like for me sometimes when I'm out in public and I have any sort of like self-doubt I just remind myself

those things I'm like f you are confident you know how to talk you like talking you like doing this even something like that is like a grounding practice for me where I remind myself like the way that I'm thinking about this right now I was thinking about this an hour earlier and it's you know it's just also visualizing that's what I was going to say earlier oh visualizing is such a powerful technique and has helped me in so many different situations because it's really all in your mind like you could think of something before it

happens and then actually be in it and it feels like you're in the same situation you were just thinking about it so definitely visualizations and affirmations are super helpful so I challenge you guys to do that if it's just a week five a day yeah just one thing this week it could be either of the things we just said now or going back through the episode and thinking that's one thing that they touched on that I really like and that really calls out to me and where am I in life right now I challenge you

guys because if you just do that one thing this week that's where the routine starts to build and you just need to do like First Act of self-care for yourself I feel to start making it that regular habit that you're like I am that kind of person that when I say I'm going to do something I do it and I always look after myself and yes I'm showing up to all the responsibilities in my life but I'm also at the end of the day reflecting and tuning into my emotions and my thoughts yeah and even

if it takes time just know that it takes time for everyone and even People Like Us who are like talking about self-care and how we like to do all these things there's definitely times where I feel like me and maybe you both like we both have um off phases and that's also okay okay and just having that self-compassion for yourself when things aren't going the best and knowing that it's just a phase everything goes up and down in life and like when it's down just know that an up period is coming and that is what

you can look forwards to and even something as simple as opening your blinds at the beginning of the day let that energy like shine in through let yourself be happy and the things will fall into place facts and that brings us to a close I hope you guys enjoyed this episode be sure to check out all the links below be sure to check out Fernandez's podcast and her YouTube because she does amazing things over there and you're probably going to learn so much more on selfcare through her videos as well so I highly recommend thank

you so much for joining this episode this was actually my first time recording with a guest which I was very scary when I walked into it I'm feeling all the Vibes and all the energy right now this was so much fun um but yeah I will see you guys at same time next week for a brand new episode perfect thank you so much for having me I had so much fun and you're killing it thank you thank you bye