these are the seven most common texts you could receive from an avoidant X and how to decode them to understand what they're actually trying to say the first is hey I hope you're doing well on the surface level this may come across as them just trying to check in on you to make sure that you are okay but what this essentially is really doing here is that they are just wanting to make sure that you are still emotionally connected in some way they're trying to see what your response is here because this will really give
them a big indicator into this right if you are going to sit there and respond and kind of give this long- winded answer to this to them they feel like they still have you on the hook in some way so they feel better about continuing to be this way and to stay distance from you and do whatever they're doing and not really take any strides into actually wanting to work things out with you so how you basically will handle this type of text message is to honestly ignore it although this may feel like they have
good intentions here chances are they are really really just again trying to check the pulse of where you're at and to make sure that you are still available for them in some way or some form number two is I miss you this tends to be a very powerful text message that most people will receive because whenever they're going through a breakup with someone that they love and they send that you are naturally going to be flooded with positive emotions because you feel like there is a chance of you guys getting back together and there's some
opportunity here but what this tends to be for an avoidant is a way for them to more Express how they miss the comfort of knowing that you are always going to be there this tends to be what they're really missing here not in the sense that they're wanting to commit to you and trying to make the relationship work and you know working on this avoidant attachment style so that can happen they just simply want you there to accept them for the way that they are and to continue to play this game that they are essentially
playing here number three is I've been thinking about you a lot lately what this may seem like at first is that they are reflecting on the relationship and realizing that they want to actually make things work out because they see the value of you and the relationship but what typically this text message is really trying to see is that they want to see if you still care about them they want to see what type of response that you are going to have here because naturally this type of text message will typically cause someone to open
up and express the same emotions and go deeper and then they feel like they have that answer right they feel like they know that you still care about them and they may even try to go a little bit deeper and kind of play on that and you know say things that make them seem like they actually are legitimately missing you as well but again this is all in their attempt to continue to keep you available in some close distance so that you are not going to completely move on which would be a bad sign to
them that they are losing you completely number four is when they text I just have been busy this on the surface level could come across as they are going through a lot there's a lot going on in their life but in actuality what they're really trying to say here is that they are not trying to take in your needs and what you want in the relationship and trying to put you first right if they were they would communicate to you what they've been busy in and how this has affected them but also leave the door
open to say I want to actually make things work with you I want to you know figure this thing out can we come together and talk things out and figure out what both of us can do to make this work but this text message here is all you'll typically get because they are really prioritizing themselves here right they're really focusing on themselves and how they're feeling and really just being selfish here right they're not really thinking about how this is affecting you they're really more concerned about themselves and how you know they want to avoid
feeling uncomfortable or any unwanted emotions or even dealing with any conflict that they don't want to deal with text message number five is I'm not sure what I want right now at first this might sound like they're confused they're kind of battling some internal emotions or thoughts whatever that might be but in actuality this is just them messaging to you that they don't want to commit they don't want to go any deeper than it has been because this is uncomfortable to them this is going to cause them to have the threat of having to express
unwanted emotions which is going to cause them to feel vulnerable and is a negative thing in their eyes to do so they essentially try to use this as as a way to kind of make you feel like there may be hope right there may be a chance of them starting to figure this out and to really dig deep into what they want and you guys can maybe work things out in the end but this tends to not be the reality of what happens this is just them trying to again kind of dangle that carrot in
front of you to make you feel like there's an opportunity here when in actuality their goal is to just make sure that you feel good enough that the relationship has some type of momentum that you will stick around the sixth text would be you deserve someone better this may make you feel like they're finally digging deep down into realizing the magnitude of this avoiding attachment style and how it's caused you pain in some way or form and how it's caused the relationship to not work out but what this is really them trying to do is
to try to guilt trip you into feeling bad right they want to kind of play on your heart strings to get you to kind of open up and not be so harsh on them and to maybe give them another chance into making the relationship work but in actuality this again is a part of their game it's a part of their manipulation a lot of the times and how they can continue to keep this going right they recognize that they can't be an avoidant 100% of the time they have to play this given pull game because
that's the only way you're going to keep somebody around because if they are constantly being distant you are going to naturally just move on anyone will right at some point in time you're just like all right this person is not doing anything like although it sucks leaving them I'm just going to leave there's nothing here they have to do this in increments and this is how they do that right they make it seem like they're actually finally aware of what's going on and wanting to make a change but all along this is just a facade
into what is really going on and that is they just want to continue to run this avoidant game and number seven is I need space this is something that you have probably heard time and time again they've probably said it to you verbally or through text or whatever it might be they have done this so many times and when you get this text message you might start to feel like you know maybe there is something that they need to work through and think about and they'll maybe finally realize that they need to work through this
and do something to try to make this work but in actuality all they're doing here is making an excuse they don't actually have legitimate intentions into utilizing that space into figuring out what going on with them so that they can heal and move on from this right if anything they're just using that space to then make themselves feel good about just moving on and just you know finding somebody else and not dealing with the conflict or whatever is going on in the relationship with you to try to have it be healthy and you know to
commit to you in some way or some form so they use this again as an excuse to just make it seem like they're doing something but in actuality they're not not and chances are they're not ever going to right I'm not saying that avoidance don't ever change at some point in time because they do but it takes a lot for them to get to that point because this has been cultivated over a long period of time it started when they were very young and it has morphed all the way to where they're at right now
so it's going to naturally take a lot of time and on top of that potentially some professional help to help them through this because if they're left to their own devices they're going to go right back into that avoid an attachment style and keep doing that I hope that based off of what you've seen here you kind of get a real understanding into what is actually going on and you don't fall victim to those text messages and I hope it's not coming off as cynical because there could be a possibility that they legitimately mean these
text messages and they may want to open up and express emotions at that point in time but you have to be very very skeptical you really need to hold it to them and make them prove to you that they really want to do that and they are consistent with it right because again they could be going along with this to convince you that that's what's going on and the moment that again things get comfortable again and they commit they just go right back to their old ways but you know the answer to this deep down
and it's important for you to listen to yourself here because if you don't you only going to make things worse for yourself and it's only going to lead you to being even more hurt than where you already are right now I hope you did enjoy today's video if you did please make sure to hit that like button if you're new here make sure to subscribe and I will see you in the next video
