Selfish Sister Planned Her Baby Shower on My Wedding Day, Thinking That Everyone Would Side With...

selfish sister planned her baby shower on my wedding day thinking that everyone would side with her but karma hit her hard as family chose my wedding over her the incident happened a few days ago and I am furious which is why I've come here to vent I have an older sister Porsche 30f who is severe main character energy and it rubs me the wrong way in all possible ways this has been the norm all her life and all of mine and I generally never objected or said anything because I've never been one to start conflict

or drama however things came to a head on my wedding day because she decided to host the baby shower for her fourth kid on the same day naturally when I found out a few days before the wedding I was very upset I had made my family RSVP to The Wedding Date months in advance so I knew this little coincidence as she called it was deliberate on her part it just made me want to either rip my hair out or hers I had a nagging feeling that my family would choose to attend her baby shower over

my wedding because that's how things have always operated in my family she has been The Golden Child for as long as I can remember and I have been the afterthought I thought maybe this one day would be about me but with her baby shower I knew she was planning to steal even this day from me Porsha and I 25f do not have the best relationship I would attribute it partly to how my parents raised us but mostly to Porsche's attitude and arrogance Porsche was an overachiever in school she got good grades played Sports and was

generally liked by her teachers and peers mom and dad were very proud of her I on the other hand was just about average I didn't excel in academics but I wasn't bad either I didn't have any meaningful Hobbies according to my parents and all of this was Amplified by the fact that I went to the same school as my sister all my teachers and even the principal used to be quite astounded that Porsha and I were sisters because I was quite unlike her not just in attitude but also in capabilities we were constantly compared and

I always fell short my parents did not take my lack of skills well porsa was the favorite Child she was pampered spoiled and anything she demanded was done because she was a bright kid I was categorically told as a kid that I would get this treatment from my parents too if I became as good as Porsche I have a series of psychological issues with self-worth to my childhood and it has severely impacted the quality of My Life by the time I turned 13 I realized that I would never have a good and functional relationship with

my family I just accepted that as my reality and withdrew from the family I kept mostly to myself stayed in my room and spent my hours doodling that was my only real Hobby and nobody ever took it seriously I was the extra member of the family so to speak always an afterthought always left alone always looked it with either disgust or contempt because I was not good enough for my parents I was called a Scribbler and my mother even and tore one of my sketch pads because I was busy scribbling instead of working hard and

being a source of Pride for the family like my sister I knew then that no matter what I did they wouldn't see me as who I was only as a lesser version of Porsche and that no matter how hard I tried I could never match up to her and that I didn't want to either so I just stopped interacting with them as much as I could when I was 13 Porsche left for college and she changed she was no longer the good girl our parents had raised she still did well no doubt about that but

she never answered their calls didn't want to come back home and blew through money like crazy all of this took a toll on my parents I guess and they felt alone and isolated they had lived the 18 years of their lives as parents to just one kid and suddenly that kid didn't want much to do with them that was when their attention shifted to me they tried to get closer to me and wanted to make a bond but I didn't want anything to do with it I had attuned myself to being alone and all of

this attention just stressed me out it had taken me a long time to learn to live by myself and I was not going to change it because my parents wanted to play happy families this made them mad and things got even worse for me they were either yelling at me or taunting me all the time and it became too much for me to handle I somehow managed to make it P the next few years until I went to college I've been very low contact with them ever since I did a degree in animation so I

can say that all that doodling really paid off I got a good job right out of college and I'm doing quite well for myself this is unlike what anyone especially my parents and sister expected of me so that makes me feel even more smug about the entire thing they have tried to get in touch with me repeatedly in the last two to three 3 years in the sense that they wanted to get closer to me and things like that but I have always politely declined their efforts I do not feel their need in my life

anymore and I am more than happy with the little family I have built for myself I live with my fiance Edward 29m and our cute dog Emma I have friends a Social Circle and a great life and I don't want them intruding in it a couple of years ago before I got my job Porsche got married obviously I was not invited this is also one of the reasons why I don't take their attempts to reconnect seriously they did not care about me when I was just a student and now that I am successful they are

trying to make amends and be family I can see through their sick disguise and I am not one to be fooled by it I have a feeling they want to get back in touch only so they can mooch off me since Porsche doesn't work she got pregnant right after college had a shotgun wedding and has never had a penny to her name since the family had always thought she would be the one bringing in the money since she was the brilliant one and that I would end up being a failure now that there is no

Prospect of her providing any money they are trying to make amends so that I can be their Cash Cow while my parents have been this way since I was born my extended family is much better my aunt Rachel was kind of a mother figure to me growing up and she has always called my parents out on their favoritism of course these allegations were vehemently denied but gradually the entire extended family got to know the real picture of everything they have supported my decision to stay low contact and nobody really pressured me to build Bridges with

my family until a couple of months ago around 3 months ago my mother had a very serious health scare she was admitted to the hospital for weeks and the diagnosis was tricky her quality of life has since been severely impacted and the doctors have said that it is going to take a long time for her to return to how she was before if that ever happens this according to my aunt was a wake-up call for my mother and the entire time she was in the hospital she was sobbing for her baby aka me I wasn't

told about her health issues immediately because we had been low to no contact for a few years now but my aunt called me up a week after the incident to tell me that my mother was very sick and had a sort of realization that she had not treated me well and ever since that day my mother has only been crying wanting to get back in touch with me saying that she knows she is going to die soon and doesn't want that to happen before I give her a chance to be a good mother again I

had been conflicted about this because I knew deep down that the only reason my mother wanted to make amends was that she did not want to shoulder all that guilt for treating her own child poorly it was more about her guilt than it was about me but I also knew that if I did not talk to her or at least get back in touch I would end up regretting it so after a lot of thought and a considerable amount of urging from both my aunt and my fiance I decided to give it a shot and

get back in touch with her it was emotional for us there were a lot of tears and a lot of apologies from her side and I just told her to let it slide and that I did not wish to talk about it or engage in it anymore my father tried to be civil and he is too proud a man to admit where he went wrong so he and I didn't exchange more than a few words Porsche was nowhere to be found during this little reunion of ours and I found out later that it was at

our mother's request mom had vehemently denied Porsche's presence during our talk and I hear that she was quite salty about it but there was nothing she could do so now comes the actual incident I was insane busy with all my wedding planning and to be honest I did not make much time for my mother after the initial few meetings I could have but I was too stressed with all the workload and needed my downtime as well my parents were quite offended by the fact that even after our supposed reconciliation I had not involved them in

wedding planning or given them any of the traditional roles that the bride's parents are supposed to have my mother was upset about the entire situation but she chose to let it slide which is when I began to feel that maybe she was actually remorseful my father on the other hand was extremely angry that he would not be the one walking me down the aisle he even called me up to tell me that he was considering not attending the wedding because I was humiliating him as a father in front of everyone even after everything had gone

back to normal I told him that nothing had gone back to normal especially between him and me and if he felt that this was too insulting for him he was free to do whatever he wanted AKA not attend that shut him right up and he didn't say anything after that as far as Porsche is concerned I didn't have any contact with her during this time I just sent out the invites and she was saying that she would be attending there was nothing more to talk to her about or so I thought but I was in

for a huge shock 2 weeks before my wedding I got a frantic call from my cousin Lena she told me that she was talking to Porsche and Porsha invited her to her baby shower on the same date as my wedding in the same city in a venue that she had booked an hour away from my wedding apparently she was going around calling people to the baby shower and not sending out actual invites for fear that the news might reach me I asked Lena if she was sure about it and that she could have been mistaken

but she said that she was 100% sure and that a few other family members had already received the invite she was also supposedly making a huge show of it saying that since this is her and her husband's final kid it meant even more to her and that she wanted everyone to attend when I found out I was Furious I called her up immediately and asked her if this was true and she said that she knew she wouldn't be able to get the entire family together anytime soon other than my wedding and that's why she thought

it was the best way to include both of our happiness she said that I should actually be happy that her baby would get to celebrate and attend my wedding in spirit I told her that she was out of her mind and a vindictive witch for doing it on my wedding day and not even a day before or after it and I also told her that if she actually had good intentions she would have asked me or informed me the fact that I was finding out about it from someone else just two days before my wedding

showed me what she was planning to do and how sick her mind was she told me that I had no right to call her names and she was free to celebrate her baby whenever she felt like it and that I did not own the date and what people wanted to do she said that if people wanted to come to my wedding they would and if they wanted to attend her baby shower they would and that I had no right to stop them I was at a complete loss for words and I hate to admit it

but I had a full-blown mental breakdown I was just devastated and I didn't know how to process the information Edward was by my side and while he was Furious he knew exactly what to say and we decided that we would be sending out a message to everyone we had invited we tried to sound as gracious as possible and the message read something along the lines of how we had come to know that there had been a clash of dates and that while we were happy for Porsche we knew that some of our guests would have

to decide between attending the wedding or attending the baby shower we also told them to reconfirm their presence with my maid of honor and that with just two weeks remaining before the wedding we were not in the heads space for more drama and that I would see them at the wedding I told my maate of honor to keep track of who confirmed their presence and that we would adjust the catering and everything accordingly and that if everyone chose to attend the baby shower we would just go to the courthouse and get married I know it

seems like an overreaction but after spending my entire childhood being overlooked I was 100% sure that most people would choose to attend her baby shower rather than my wedding I'm glad I was proven wrong 2 days before my wedding I spoke to Zara my Mo and asked her if people had confirmed Med and what the status was she just told me not to worry about it and that she had everything handled her reply was not at all comforting to me because I still didn't know how many people had ditched me for Porsche but she just

told me to calm down and that she would take care of everything on the day of the wedding I was surprised to see almost every family member that I had sent an invite too except Porsche obviously my Father which I had kind of assumed and my paternal aunt and her family everyone else managed to make it including my mother which came as a big surprise to me because she is not the kind to do things without my father the wedding itself went exactly as planned and to be honest I was glad that my father hadn't

come he would have sulked the entire time and would have caused unnecessary drama so his absence was actually a big relief to me however Porsha could not handle this slight against her more so because she had never been used to it just as my ceremony ended and people were heading for lunch I saw Dad and Porsha coming to The Venue before I could say anything Zara was on her feet and stopped them from entering the premises there was some bickering going on between them and I couldn't really make out what they were saying but I

could see that the conversation was getting more and more heated with every passing second at one point porsa even tried to push her way inside and Zara tried to block her as much as she could but my dad pushed through as well and she was no match for their combined strength the minute Porsche stepped inside she straight up started balling like a spoiled brat and it wasn't just a few stray tears here and there it was actual wailing like an infant it was so embarrassing and disgusting to watch I knew my family was aware of

her Antics but I felt so humiliated because she was doing it in front of Edward's family our friends and our colleagues she kept saying that everyone came to my wedding instead of her last baby shower and that I should have had the decency to postpone my wedding when I knew that she was having her baby shower before I could say anything a Rachel said that I had finalized the date for the wedding months ago and she was the one who had hijacked the date and if she had any decency she would have been the one

to keep her baby shower on a different day Porsha did not expect to be called out like that and she looked at my dad for help but he was surprisingly quiet Porsha then had the audacity to say that marriages break apart all the time and that there could be a possibility that I would get married again but she for sure was not going to get pregnant again I was furious and I wanted to slap her Square in the face at that moment I could not believe she had the nerve to suggest that my marriage would

break apart on the day of my wedding I had had enough by then and I told her to get the hell out of the venue and that she should know that she already has three kids and that there is no guarantee that she wouldn't be popping out other kids in the future considering that that's all she has done ever since she left College after blowing through all of dad's money she started screaming but I cut her off in the middle and told her that she was a horrible human being who never thought about anyone other

than herself and that I felt sorry for her kids for having such a terrible woman for a mother that shut her up real fast and she started crying again but I had no patience for it and Zara and another friend of mine literally dragged her out of the venue by the time all this was over I was shivering and crying and she had ruined my day the atmosphere was so tense that almost everyone cut lunch short and left what hurt me the most was that in all this time my mother never took a stand for

me or told me about Porsche's plans so all her reconciliation was fake and an act in my eyes because she continued to not do right by me despite having the chance once everyone left I hugged Edward and broke down and apologized for ruining the day but he held me close and told me that it wasn't my fault at all and that I was bound to reach my breaking point one day or another it has been 5 days since our wedding and people have been reaching out to me but I am in no heads space to

respond to anyone there are tons of messages just sitting in my inbox and I know that I will have to respond to them eventually but I don't want to do that right now we are leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow and I hope that I am able to feel better and take my mind off of whatever happened my vile sister has already ruined my wedding and a do anything about it so I can't let her ruin my honeymoon as well she doesn't get to affect me like this even after all these years update 1 hey Reddit

I haven't been updating because I took a break from Reddit during my honeymoon I hadn't expected the post to blow up and I was overwhelmed when I saw all those comments but I went through them all and since you're so invested in the story now there is a tiny update all the while on our honeymoon Ed and I didn't really entertain any sort of contact from my side of the family my mother made multiple attempts to get in touch with me but I just told her that I would talk to her once I got back

from the honeymoon she has since called me and told me that she wants to meet and apologize for not taking a stand for me during the wedding and that she is ashamed of herself I told her that this was not just about the wedding but about the fact that she knew about the baby shower and did not tell me she said she didn't want me to get upset and that she thought people would attend my wedding over the baby shower anyway I told her that her assumptions do not excuse what she has done to me

and she has again shown me that she is not a reliable person at all especially when it comes to my emotions and feelings she kept on apologizing but I told her that I needed a to break from her and to not contact me anymore she tried to play the I'm sick card and I said that she had decided to come back into my life to prove to me that she was sorry her actions have shown me the opposite because she continues to choose Porsche over me even if it comes at the cost of one of

the most important days of my life being sabotaged she was crying inconsolably as I tore into her and I felt so guilty doing it but I knew that I couldn't let her run all over me again it had taken me years and years to feel mentally safe and I could not allow her to Walt back in with her same Antics and ruin everything I told her that I would be reaching out to her but it would be on my own time and that I did not want her to pressure me into building a relationship with

her because clearly she was not ready I think she felt that if she victimized herself a little she could Strongarm me into relenting but when that didn't happen she gave the phone to Dad who I was not interested in talking to at all the minute I heard him on the line I disconnected the call he sent me a long text after that which I didn't even bother to read and have since blocked him other than that I only had messages from family saying that they were sorry that Porsche had tried to upstage me on my

own wedding and basically messages supporting me and sympathizing with me I haven't responded to all of them but I will all in all I feel much better about the entire ordeal and I'm glad I have cut my mother off again I do not have the energy to deal with my parents and I don't want them ruining the family I have built for myself update to I had thought that the drama was over but clearly that is not the case Porsche's husband let's call him Jake turned up at my house last evening he looked pretty dejected

and I didn't have the heart to say no to him so I called him inside the first thing he did was apologize to me saying that he had no idea Porsche had been planning this that was when I recalled that during the entire episode at my wedding I did not see Jake I asked him what he meant and he said that he had actually planned a baby shower for Porsche a week after my wedding and she had insisted that the date be changed she had also told him that I had not invited them which is

why she wanted to keep the baby shower on the same day as the wedding he was not on board with it and said that she shouldn't have been expecting an invitation anyway since we had been estranged for a long time he said that he never sought to clarify with me because he felt that me not inviting them was understandable and that he would have been surprised if I had invited them when he found out what had actually happened on the day he was mortified and it was only because my mother told him that he found

out the truth he said that he was extremely sorry and wanted to apologize on her behalf and asked us if he could do anything at all to make the entire situation better I told him that he had no reason to apologize because he was not there and that his wife was a grown woman who could take responsibility for her own actions I said that she had to learn how to take accountability for her actions and that if the apology did not come from her it did not mean anything I told him that I had nothing

against him and that he seemed like a great guy and I thanked him for reaching out I think it was sweet of him to come and talk to us but that still doesn't take away what his wife has done and to be frank even if she did Apologize someday I know that I will not forgive her she has dug her grave and now she can very well lay in it update three Porsha and Jake are heading towards a divorce apparently they had been having problems for a long time and her behavior at my wedding was

the last straw on the camel's back she has been running around telling people that I am the reason behind her divorce but I guess everyone has had enough of of her Antics and nobody is willing to listen to her self-pity tirate anymore last I heard she was about to move in with Mom and Dad although it had been made clear that this would be a temporary arrangement she even reached out to me asking me to babysit her kids for free saying that this would be my repentance for ruining her life I have promptly blocked her

everywhere and don't wish to engage with this drama any longer I don't know the details of their divorce but I do know that Jake is trying to get full custody of all the kids because he thinks she provides an unfit and unstable environment for the development of the kids I don't know what will come of their divorce but I do know that she is in serious trouble and nobody is willing to help her now so what will happen remains to be seen all I know is that I have completely bowed out of this entire chaos

and my family by extension this is so much more trouble than their worth and I had a calm and peaceful life before they decided to get back in touch with me the only people that I am now choosing to associate with from my family are a few of my cousins and my aunt Rachel because all of them stood by me like a rock when the entire Fiasco with my wedding was happening I am beyond grateful to them for supporting me like they did they are the only ones who deserve to be part of my life

and I'm going to be fiercely protective of my boundaries from now on