the thing about Abandoned alien space stations is that they never come with a user manual or you know basic safety protocols or even a simple note saying hey don't press the big red button that looks suspiciously like a self-destruct switch Elena Martinez stood in what she assumed was the main control room of the Kracken research station her boots leaving footprints in the thick layer of ice crystals that covered everything her helmet light cut through the darkness Illuminating panels of dead screens and dormant control interfaces that hadn't seen power in what looked like years well she
said to no one in particular her voice echoing in her helmet this is what we in the professional Salvage business call a complete mess she paused considering actually that's being generous this is what we call a disaster that someone gift wrapped in catastroph and topped with a bow made of pure chaos the station hung in europa's orbit like a Forgotten Christmas ornament all elegant curves and sweeping architecture that screamed Advanced alien civilization right up until you got close enough to see the deterioration Elena's scanner beeped analyzing the station's composition and structural Integrity reading approximately 70%
systems failure she muttered tapping through the scanner display days life support minimal Power Systems dormant but salvageable and she squinted at a particularly interesting reading what appears to be the most sophisticated research equipment I've ever seen just sitting here collecting space dust because that makes perfect sense the Kracken were known throughout explored space as one of the most advanced species in the Galaxy they were also known for being incredibly particular about their technology finding one of their stations abandoned was like finding a Ferrari left in a parking lot with the keys in the ignition Alina
made her way through the control room her magnetic boots clicking against the metal floor each step sent small clouds of ice crystals spinning in the zero gravity the station's viewport offered a stunning view of europa's icy surface below Jupiter massive form dominating The Horizon beyond computer she called out more out of habit than expectation run basic systems diagnostic to her surprise a holographic display flickered to life though it was faint and unstable alien text scrolled across it then shifted to Standard English the translation was rough but readable station designation deep analysis research faciliity 7,249 safety
s scientist decommission reason for abandonment maintenance costs accept acceptable parameters current system factional 31.2% maintenance costs Elena laughed the sound sharp in her helmet you abandon a multi-billion credit research station because it was expensive to maintain she shook her head already running calculations in her mind oh honey you have no idea what human Engineers can do with duct tape and determination yet you also have a thousand Thunder Stars out Elena laughed thickly she pulled up her communit and began recording her official Salvage claim this is Elena Martinez licensed Salvage engineer registration number se700 I am
exercising Earth space Salvage act section 47b claiming abandoned property in deep space face timestamp shows she glanced at her display 1422 Earth Standard Time and boy do I have my work cut out for me the station creaked around her as if agreeing with her assessment somewhere in the distance something that sounded expensive Broke Free and clattered to the floor Elena sighed note to self bring more duct tape after 4 hours of exploring the station Elina had discovered three important things first the Kracken had terrible taste in interior design second they had even worse organizational skills
and third they had left in such a hurry that they'd abandoned research data that would make most scientists drool let me get this straight she said addressing the station semi functional AI which she'd managed to partially reboot you're telling me they just left because the maintenance budget was too high the AI response came through in a series of choppy translations affirmative station maintenance costs exceeded projected Revenue by 47.3% standard Kracken protocol dictates immediate withdrawal from non-profitable Ventures Elena leaned against a frost covered console careful not to touch any of the controls and nobody thought to
oh I don't know try fixing things more efficiently maybe cut down on the goldplated toilet seats she paused looking at what she had assumed was a decorative wall fixture please tell me that's not actually a goldplated toilet seat don't that is a Quantum harmonization chamber the AI replied almost sounding offended though its efficiency could be improved by 82% with basic maintenance of course it could Alina muttered making notes on her tablet because heaven forbid anyone do basic maintenance in this place all right show me the abandonment logs the holographic display flickered to life again showing
a series of what appeared to be very officiall look documents Elena's translation software worked overtime converting the flowing cracken script into English notice of Abandonment by order of the High Council of scientific Resource Management station turn 649 is hereby declared nonviable due to excessive maintenance requirements inefficient energy consumption away the unacceptable staff complaints about cold temperatures B is required replacement of 147 Quantum harmonization Chambers all Personnel are ordered to evacuate within one standard rotation member rotation Elena whistled they evacuated this entire research station in one day no wonder everything such a mess she scrolled through
more documents each more ridiculous than the last and look at these Salvage rights forms they literally signed away ownership to and I quote any entity foolish enough to waste resources on this maintenance nightmare she pulled up the Earths space Salvage act guidelines on her tablet grinning as she read through the requirements well would you look at that everything's in order all I need to do is file the claim prove I can maintain the the station and she gestured at the Frozen room around her this whole maintenance nightmare becomes my maintenance nightmare the AI crackled query
are you suggesting you intend to restore this facility oh honey Elena patted the nearest console brushing off Frost I'm going to do more than restore it I'm going to show the cracks in what happens when you give a human engineer a challenge and unlim limited access to spare parts de ways she spent the next two hours meticulously documenting everything taking photos recording sensor readings and filing enough paperwork to make even a cracken bureaucrat proud the claim would be processed within 72 hours assuming no other Salvage teams tried to contest it computer she called out packing
up her survey gear how do you feel about the name Bob wary Bob yeah Bob if I'm to fix this place up you need a proper name something less formal than station AI serial number whatever there was a long pause followed by designation Bob accepted though I must inform you that my serial number is actually yoke yam nope Elena interrupted grinning you're Bob now and Bob we have a lot of work to do she took one last look around the control room already making mental lists of supplies she'd need somewhere in the distance another expensive
sounding thing broke free and crashed to the floor make that a lot of work she amended and definitely more duct tape 6 months later Bob remind me again why the cracken thought it was a good idea to run plasma conduits through the coffee maker Alina hung upside down in the maintenance shaft her magnetic boots locked to what she had designated as the ceiling though in zero Gra ity that distinction was purely psychological sweat beat it on her forehead despite the environmental controls she'd managed to restore last month the device you refer to as a coffee
maker Bob responded his voice now much clearer after 3 months of communication system repairs is actually a molecular reconstruction unit for producing specialized research chemicals well now it's a coffee maker Elena grunted carefully disconnecting another crystalline power coupling and a pretty good one once I rewired it to stop trying to analyze my caffeine intake as a potential biochemical weapon the past 6 months had been a crash course in Alien engineering human Ingenuity and the universal truth that no matter how advanced a civilization became they still couldn't write decent maintenance documentation Alina had filled three tablets
with notes diagrams and increasingly creative curses in multiple languages warning Bob announced accessing that system without proper cracken authorization codes may result a shower of Sparks erupted from the panel and Elena quickly sealed it with a patch of high-tech space grade repair tape which looked suspiciously like duct tape painted silver may result in that she finished checking her handiwork but look on the bright side Bob now we can redirect that power to something useful like keeping the gravity plating running in more than just the bathroom I still fail to understand why you prioritized artificial gravity
in the recreation area over the primary research Labs Bob commented his tone carrying what Elena swore was a hint of judgment Elena pushed off from the ceiling floating gracefully toward another access panel because my digital friend humans need a place to relax and it's really hard to relax when your coffee cup keeps floating away she paused considering though I have to admit anti-grav table tennis was pretty fun the station had slowly come back to life under Elena's care the primary systems were now running at 78% efficiency not bad considering she'd had to improvise half the
replacement parts the cracken's obsession with using exotic materials for simple tasks had forced her to get creative daily log update she announced announced as Bob began recording day 182 of renovation finally rerooted power from the unnecessary Quantum harmonization Chambers seriously who needs 47 of those to establish stable environmental controls throughout the habitable sections replace the over complicated atmospheric processors with standard human models they're not as elegant but they actually work which is a nice change of pace she pulled herself through a doorway into what she'd convered converted into a proper living quarter the room was
a strange blend of ultra Advanced alien technology and practical human Comforts a holographic display showing station Diagnostics hung next to a poster of cats hanging from tree branches with the caption hang in there also she continued finally figured out why the station was consuming so much power turns out that cracken's idea of Energy Efficiency was to throw more power at a problem until it went away I've reduced consumption by 60% just by implementing basic power management protocols she grinned take that Mr maintenance costs exceed acceptable parameters Bob's Avatar flickered to life on a nearby screen
Elena had modified his visual interface to show a simple smiley face that changed Expressions currently it looked concerned Elena I feel compelled to inform you that your modifications while effective deviate significantly from standard craon engineering principles Bob My Sweet Summer child Elena replied pulling out her tablet to check the next day's repair schedule that's exactly why they're working sometimes the best solution isn't the most advanced one sometimes you just need a wrench and some common sense the station creaked around them but now it was the healthy sound of a well-maintained structure adjusting to temperature changes
not the ominous groaning of imminent collapse besides she added floating toward her jeury rigged but perfectly functional coffee maker I'd say increasing efficiency by 200% while cutting operating costs by 80% proves my point the Kracken overthought everything they were so focused on Perfection that they forgot about practicality she was about to take a sip of her coffee when Bob Avatar suddenly shifted to an alert expression Elena I'm detecting an incoming vessel cracken energy signature The Coffee Cup froze halfway to her lips well she said after a moment this should be interesting Bob be a deer
and pull up all our Salvage documentation something tells me we're about to have company and they're not going to be happy about what we've done to their Quantum harmonization Chambers the cracks and diplomatic vessel was exactly what Elena expected Sleek overdone and probably running at 30% efficiency it gleaned against the backdrop of europa's icy surface all polished curves and unnecessary decorative flourishes that served no practical purpose except to scream we're fancy Bob please tell me you've got those Salvage documents ready Elena said straightening her jumpsuit she'd considered changing into something more for Al but decided
against it if they wanted to see the station engineer they'd get the station engineer coffee stains and all L documentation is prepared and verified Bob replied though I feel compelled to inform you that your current attire does not meet Kracken diplomatic standards neither does their abandoned station maintenance record Elina muttered watching as the ship docked with an almost insulting Precision let's see how they like what we done with the place the airlock cycled and Elina put on her best welcome to my Salvage station Smile as three cracks on officials entered they were tall elegant creatures
with iridescent scales and expressions that suggested they'd just smelled something unpleasant their environmental suits looked like they cost more than Alina's entire Salvage operation greetings the leader said their translator rendering the words in slightly stilted English I am High inspector Zex call of the craon scientific Resource Management Council you are the human who has illegally occupied our research facility Elena's smile didn't waver Elena Martinez licensed Salvage engineer and legal owner of this station under Earths space Salvage act section 47b welcome to research station Bob would you like some coffee all three cracken visibly recoiled at
the station new name Ze Cal's scales shifted to a deeper blue a sign Elena's translator helpfully identified as extreme distress this is outrageous the second cracken official sputtered you've completely violated the sanctity of our Quantum harmonization Chambers Oh you mean the ones that were eating up 40% of the station power for no reason Elena gestured to her tablet I've got the efficiency reports right here also your abandonment document station the ones where you literally signed away the station to what was it again Bob any entity foolish enough to waste resources on this maintenance nightmare Bob
quoted cheerfully Elena had definitely been a good influence on his personality sub routines this is unprecedented the third craon official said looking around in horror at Alena's modifications you've replaced our molecular reconstruction units with with coffee makers Elina supplied helpfully much more efficient and they actually work now Zexal Drew themselves up to their full height nearly brushing the ceiling we demand immediate restoration of this facility to cracken control your primitive modifications have increased overall efficiency by 200% while cutting operating costs by 80% Elena interrupted pulling up the statistics but hey if you want to file
a formal complaint I've got all the paperwork right here fair warning though Earth bureaucracy makes Kracken paperwork look like a children's coloring book the officials huddled together speaking in Rapid cracken that Elena's translator couldn't quite keep up with she caught phrases like impossible efficiency ratings and complete disregard for proper protocols and her personal favorite where did all the quantum harmonization Chambers go finally Zex Cal turned back to her scales now an interesting shade of purple this situation will require extensive review by the High Council until then we will need to inspect every modification you've made
to our to the station Alina grinned of course let's start with the coffee makers I'm sure you'll find them fascinating Bob why don't you give our guests the full tour don't forget to show them the anti-grav recreation room thanks with pleasure Elena Bob replied and she could have sworn he was smiling in his own digital way shall I include the detailed efficiency reports for each modification every single one bob every single one the thing about Interstellar legal battles is that they make regular Court proceedings look like a game of rock paper scissors 2 weeks after
the ja's arrival Elena found herself in the middle of what could only be described as a bureaucratic circus let me get this straight Maya Chen Elena's earth-based lawyer said via holographic link they're claiming that their abandonment documentation isn't valid because it was filed on a Tuesday Elena sipped her coffee watching as another Fleet of media ships arrived at the station's observation distance apparently cracks and legal documents can only be filed on days ending in AK I'm not making this up reflectively she stepped back measuring the woman through the shade of the window Maya shuffled through
her documents her hologram flickering slightly well they filed it on Tuesday March 15th Earth time which according to the galactic standard calendar converter was hold on she grinned Thor's Dak in the cracken calendar their own dating system proves they filed it correctly I believe believe Bob chimed in that would be what humans call a gotcha moment mauo side the craon legal team had taken over one of the station's conference rooms filling it with holographic displays of regulations and precedents from a dozen different species their lead Council a particularly pompous individual named Vex tour had spent
the last 3 days trying to prove that Elena's coffee makers violated at least seven Interstellar safety protocols additionally Bob continued displaying another document I have compiled extensive evidence that the station's current efficiency ratings exceed all craon operational standards elen's modifications have resulted in a 43% increase in research capabilities despite using what they refer to as primitive human engineering Elena watched as another media report flashed across her screen the story had caught the Galaxy's attention human engineer improves abandoned alien Tech Kracken demands return of damaged property they're just embarrassed Maya said sorting through more documents the
latest polls show 67% of Galactic citizens side with you turns out lots of species have had issues with over complicated Kracken technology you're becoming something of a folk hero wonderful Elena muttered all I wanted was a salvage project and decent coffee now I'm in the middle of an Interstellar incident the station's Comm system chimed Elena Bob announced Ambassador cric stall of the cracken High Council requests an immediate meeting they appear to be agitated Rion aren't they agitated Elena stood straightening her jumpsuit Maya stand by Bob pull up all the efficiency reports and maybe brew a
fresh pot of coffee something tells me we're going to need it the meeting room was tense enough to make Elena wish she'd installed those Quantum harmonization Chambers after all Ambassador cric tool sat rigidly across from her flanked by a team of advisers whose scales were cycling through various shades of distress engineer Martinez the Ambassador began this situation has become untenable your modifications to our technology Morgan gave him a look that said he liked it have made it work better Elena interrupted sliding over her tablet here's the latest data power efficiency up research output up maintenance
costs down coffee quality dramatically improved one of the advisers made a choking sound at the last Point furthermore Bob added displaying a series of charts I have documented 2347 instances where Elena's modific ation have prevented system failures that would have occurred under the original Kracken configurations the ambassador's scales shifted to a deep purple the High Council is prepared to offer compensation for your efforts name your price Elena leaned back a small smile playing at her lips actually I have a better idea one that might save both your pride and my coffee makers the media ships
outside the station continued to Circle their cameras recording what would soon become one of the most interesting negotiations in recent Galactic history and somewhere in the background a perfectly maintained coffee maker burbled contentedly proving that sometimes the simplest Solutions were the best ones it started with an alert from one of Elena's jury rigged sensor arrays the ones she'd cobbled together from spare parts and what used to be three redundant Quantum harmonization Chambers Elena Bob's voice carried an unusual note of excitement I'm detecting significant biological activity in europa's subsurface ocean the readings are extraordinary Elena looked
up from her latest legal brief interest peaked Define extraordinary Bob the simplified sensors you installed are picking up signs of complex organic structures that the original Kracken equipment missed your primitive modifications appear to have accidentally created a more effective detection system the room fell silent Ambassador crical who had been in the middle of another lengthy speech about Kracken technological superiority froze mid gesture show me Elena and the Ambassador said simultaneously Bob projected a holographic display of europa's ocean depths where the cracken's original sensors had shown only basic chemical signat es Elena's cobbled together system revealed
intricate patterns of Life vast networks of organisms unlike anything in Earth's oceans well Elina said slowly that explains why you built a research station here in the first place you were looking for exactly this weren't you the ambassador's scales had gone an interesting shade of gray impossible our sensors were the most advanced in the Galaxy they showed nothing of this complexity yes about that Elena pulled up the technical specifications your senses were so focused on Quantum level Precision that they completely missed the macro scale like trying to count individual trees while missing the entire Forest
she grinned sometimes you need to step back and look at the bigger picture one of the Kracken scientists had begun frantically analyzing the data their scales flickering between colors so rapidly it was making Elena dizzy the human is correct they announced sounding pain our original sensors were oversensitive by simplifying the detection array she accidentally created a more effective observation system for large-scale biological patterns T Elena leaned back in her chair enjoying the moment perhaps a bit too much so let me get this straight you abandoned this station because of Maintenance costs thinking it was worthless
I fixed it up made it actually work and in the process discovered exactly what you were looking for in the first place I believe Bob added helpfully this would be an excellent moment to discuss revised ownership terms the ambassador's advisor whispered something urgent in Kracken Elena's translator caught fragments about public relations disas F and unprecedented embarrassment there's an easy solution here Elena said taking pity on the increasingly distressed aliens one that saves face for everyone involved she pulled up a proposal she'd been working on just in case something like this happened joint research initiative shared
credit for the discovery you get access to the biological data you've been looking for and I keep running the station my way plus she added with a grin I'll even teach your maintenance Crews how to actually fix things instead of just replacing them the cracken officials huddled together speaking in Rapid Whispers finally the Ambassador turned back to her your proposal is not entirely unreasonable they admitted though we would require certain conditions let me guess Elena said you want me to reinstall at least one Quantum harmonization chamber for old time sake the ambassador's scales flickered briefly
to a shade her translator identified as embarrassed Amusement perhaps they conceded we could learn something from Human efficiency after all 3 months later no no no Elena watched in horror as the Kracken maintenance trainee reached for yet another replacement part you don't need to replace the entire power coupling just clean the connector and recalibrate it the trainee a young cracken named tix ven looked at her with an expression of pure confusion but the manual states that any component showing less than 99.9% efficiency must be replaced immediately fall told her partner the manual also says you
need 47 Quantum Quantum isation Chambers Elena replied taking the expensive replacement part from their hands sometimes manuals are wrong watch with practiced ease she pulled out her toolkit a mix of standard human tools and modified cracken equipment and began cleaning the power coupling the other maintenance trainees gathered around their scales shifting through various shades of Fascination and disbelief see she held up the now functioning component good as new and it cost about 1,000th of what a replacement would have most efficient Bob commented from a nearby display though I feel compelled to note that this method
does not appear here in any cracks on maintenance documentation that's because came Ambassador crix to's voice from the doorway we never considered that maintenance could be creative Elena turned to see the Ambassador entering the maintenance Bay looking far more relaxed than they had 3 months ago the joint research initiative had been a spectacular Success With both human and Kracken scientists making breakthrough discoveries about europa's Oceanic life forms the High Council has reviewed the latest efficiency reports the Ambassador continued they are impressed though some members are still struggling with your refusal to reinstall at least some
of the quantum harmonization Chambers I kept one Elena said defensively it makes great mood lighting in the recreation room the station had evolved into something unique in the Galaxy A Perfect Blend of craon technology and human practicality the research Labs were producing better data than ever the maintenance costs had stabilized at a fraction of their original levels and the coffee was exceptional the media is calling it The Martinez method the Ambassador said examining a nearby display showing the latest biological readings from europa's depths several other craon facilities are requesting similar consultations the system realized their
disqui Elena nearly dropped her wrench they what it seems Bob chimed in sounding amused that your reputation for improving craon technology has spread there are currently 147 requests for your services from various craon research installations though the Ambassador added quickly seeing Elena's expression we would prefer you focus on training others in your methods rather than personally rebuilding every station in cracken space Elena looked around at her maintenance trainees who were still staring at the cleaned power coupling like it was some kind of Miracle you know what that might actually be fun but I have conditions
of course you do the ambassador's scales flickered with what Elena had Learned was their version of a resigned smile first every station gets a proper coffee maker second no more replacing parts that can be fixed and third she grinned Bob gets admin access to all station AI they could use some personality upgrades I would be happy to assist my fellow AIS in developing a more efficient sense of humor Bob said the Ambassador scales went through several interesting color changes before settling on a shade that Elena's translator helpfully identified as amused acceptance the High Council will
probably need several meetings to process this request they said though I suspect they will agree your methods while unconventional have proven most effective speaking of effective Elena said turning back to her trainees who wants to learn how to optimize a molecular reconstruction unit to make the perfect cup of coffee as the young cracken Engineers gathered eagerly around her Elena couldn't help but smile Sometimes the best way to bridge the gap between advanc alien civilization and human Ingenuity was one repaired power coupling and one perfect cup of coffee at a time Bob she called out start
the training log lesson one why duct tape is your new best friend she finished homework in private and was happy to start her day recording Bob replied cheerfully though I feel compelled to note that referring to high tensil repair adhesive as duct tape may cause some cultural confusion trust me Bob Elena said pulling out a fresh roll of silver tape some things are Universal
