I've been seeing plenty of posts on here about the strangeness of the rules and regulations and guidelines that people have to follow at their jobs and I thought that it's about time I disclosed my experiences as well from the very beginning not every single detail will be accounted for but almost everything I had to go through especially my heroics and my failures will be recounted in this will not be a short story so please be prepared for what you are about to read this definitely is not a job I would have considered applying for in the first place if the pay wasn't mouth-watering and that my cousin hadn't already been working there she let me know of the perks and the extremely gratuitous benefits package that came with it I got an email almost the next day for an interview after applying it read hello mr. wynn chef we here at the redacted zoo cordially invites you for an interview for our zoo specialist positioner I am sure you have gone through the necessary requirements and responsibilities of the position we are basically set on slight ting you because of your work ethic explained through your resume and through the recommendation from Haley we just need to be certain that you are more than ready for the tasks at hand please come by the headquarters located at redact edit that's 1:45 p. m.
next Tuesday please arrive at 20 minutes early to ensure that you are well prepared now I will list a couple of pointers that you must follow before and upon arrived at as well as for when you are in the process of the interview before arrival Wanda since you are male wear a plane at grey two-button suit make sure the suit fits well on you and it does not slouch or cause you any discomfort under Hetson wear a red or black button-down dress shirt depending on the color of your shirt or to wear the opposite color tie for example if you wear a red shirt sport a black tie in vice versa your dress pants must be slightly baggy and they must reach past your ankles your pants must also be either grey red or black to eat a large breakfast and lunch if you are still hungry an hour before the interviewer the interview itself might take quite a while depending on how vigilant and steadfast you are if you become hungry at all during the interview your application will be disqualified and you will be escorted out of the compound immediately three bring with you an old bucket either black red or gray as well as a black ink at ballpoint pen the notebook must be three-pronged composition notebooks are not allowed as they are seen as unprofessional in our workspace carry the notebook and pen with you at all times do not put them in a bag or anywhere else unless instructed to do so upon arrival one park your vehicle in a spot to outline in either ratah blue or green do not under any circumstances park in a visitor's parking spot or a parking spots outlined in any other color than the three after mentioned ones failure to comply will not only mean a dismissal grab with cash and put of your vehicle as well you have been warned to your view of the animals will be obscured when you park in the parking lot but if you should censor and counter any animal no matter what they are and there are no azul' employees near the AMA keep your head up walk at a brisk pace and do not make any eye contact with Emma if they start to follow you or their calls get louder ignore their presence completely we cannot stress this enough three leave your phone wallet keys and anything else you have on you that are not the notebook in Panama and the been marked candidate paraphernalia you may only collect them after the interview process has reached its conclusion in the event that the bin is not in the same location as it first wise and let the receptionist now and sit in one of the chairs in the back of the room away from the entrance and the receptionist ask do not sit for any reason and leave your seat no matter how long it takes for your belongings to be returned to you and I assure you if they will be during the interview wanna greet your interviewer with a smile and introduced yourself with your phone ayla we will know if you leave any part of your name outs of your introduction shake their hand friendly and sit in the seat to the left Obama there is a possibility that you will be joined by someone else during your interview and you do not want to be sitting in the right seat when they arrive wait 11 minutes after their appearance before speaking to look at Bama - if your interviewer has a pet with Emma which can be any animal kept here at redacted Zoo greet the animal as well by its full name - no its full name ask the interviewer the questioner what is the name of this magnificent creature verbatim once the full name is Nana stand up and greet the animal - good day to you and take a bow do not forget this stop this is for your own safety 3 in the rare event that you have more than one interviewer you can make eye contact with Emma but do not to greet the interviewer to your right if you do we are not liable for what will happen after I am aware that and this is much to remember before a simple interview on but these pointers are of the utmost importance and must be followed to the letter your safety is our biggest concern we here at redacted Zoo are more than excited to potentially welcome you onboard as our new zoo specialist if you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to email me or as Haley but any questions that so we do not deem you worthy of an answer it will not be answered no matter how many times you ask her you may persist have a nice evening and I look forward to welcoming you to our Tianna piazza attached to this email are the directions you must follow if you want to make it around time for your interview horn but we suggest that you leave around 11:30 9 a. m. from your area to ensure prophetess best regards Vicky as VP of redacted sue I was practically sweating beads for the entire six days before my interview I'm a serial over-thinker and so I read and reread the guidelines for an interview as many times as I possibly could I bought a new three-pronged notebook and a black ink ballpoint panda I spent the money on a custom tailor to gray to Mun suit a freshly iron and untouched red shirt paired with a sleek black tie as much disdain as I had and wanting to go through with the essa I had some reassurance I asked Haley plenty of questions after reading an email and she sent me to ease with her responses until I got on the subject of the animals at the zoo at that point she audibly Ted stop and replied with and I could not say for every question regarding the Abba and I brushed it off as nothing important and on Tuesday of the interviewer I checked to make sure everything was in order before heading over here the drive there was arduous the map that was attached to the email led me through plenty of dirt past and side Rosa devoid of existence beyond the wind incent trees some roads were long and sinuous on the way to the headquarters but regardless I ended up at the facility at 1:15 p.
m. Oh a good 30 minutes before my interview I pulled up the email from Vicki park your vehicle in a spots outlined in either radda blue or green and to my dismay there were absolutely no red and green or blue outline parking spots near the entrance or in the front of the lot I had to drive all the way to the back near the forest that boarded the zoo defied wanna only wanna open green spot i part swiftly and got Alton it almost forgotten I know but can pad before grabbing them and latching them to my armpit I took a quick swig from my flask before setting it like glove compartment a ritual that I performed before every job interviewer am i overthinking self stopped me instantly i peered at the pointers you gotta carry the notebook and pad in your hands at all time Donna my armpit was free of their presence and I started the slow track to the entrance the afternoon sauna penetrated my eyes my bu stipple de I remember my armpits being drenched from the beginning the inside of the building was becoming clear when des a soft noise preached by aired Robeson it sounded like the Croke of a frog I nearly turned to look in the direction the sound was coming from but my ever vigilant mind reminded me if you should censor and counter any animal no matter what they are and there are no zoo employees near that' keep your chin up walk in a brisk pace and do not make any eye contact with Elma and I kept my eyes up towards the sky as the croaking grew louder and louder pounding against by years attempted me to force my gaze its way I did not see a single employee in sight and so my feet wrenched on quickly the walk seemed to take an eternity in each step heavier each breath more visible than the last sweat flowed out like a small waterfall I eventually reached the double doors of the office enter the croaking had ceased wiping away the nervous sweat I walked inside hello mr. winch effing and you look nice today the receptionist gave me a bright smile she looked a little bit like Harley Quinn er but without all the makeup and tattoos her dirty blonde hair was tied back into Bobby ponytails she wore what I assumed in employee uniform a crisp and gray silk jacket bordered with black and red stripes with the words redacted sue plastered on the front hard side pocket the thank you miss cello and do I sit here she looked at me with the perfidious expression her aren't you forgetting something what sounded like bones breaking was her index finger pointed strictly at a been marked candidate paraphernalia I already forgot a rule though meticulously studying them day and night oh I am thank you for reminding me the nervousness and my voice was palpable a guttural voice filled the brown over you almost got us killed when I looked back jellow was smiling at me unwavering her and I did her hand that was out her mouth but that thing definitely was not working anymore she had crushed it in its entirety i disregarded it smiled back at her and place my belongings in the bed i will let you know when your interviewer is ready for you mr.
winch elephant until then please take a seat I checked the clock on the wall 136 p. m. miss jello kept typing on a computer but her eyes never left my face your interviewer is ready for you mr.
winch F jello gave me the same medicine smile her eyes as seemingly torpeda but definitely vigorous thank you miss jello as I reach for the knob she clenched my wrist with an unbreakable grab I tried to resist but she wouldn't budge she uttered but a few words don't miss aha that low tone she'd addressed me with before had come back I won't I placed my palm on her hand she relented sitting back in her chair clicking away at her keyboard and broken mouse it's fair to say that a part of me was already podrían if I actually wanted to go through with this but another part of me knew I might be in terrible danger if I tried to leave I entered the interview real man the interviewer looked at me with a cold expression as this hand reached out for mine in my mental state I must have been or Nitin I proceeded to sadhana as soon as I realized what was going on I shot back up and grabbed his hand with Forrest he didn't even flinch it his frigid glare stayed intact over a few eternal seconds he lightened ABBA hello and you are greet your interviewer with a smile on it introduce yourself with your full name I put on the most counterfeit smile in history hi my name is Chester Han you list me as a winch - nice to meet you our handshake was brief and stared we both sat down on her he'd taken an extra precaution to sit in the chair opposite and to the left of my interviewer as I settled Anna in the blink of an eye a bird perched itself on his right shoulder here this particular bird would be a constant problem for me in the future his name was pincer his feathered cold was leathery him with splotches of red and white haphazardly died in the body a cryptic symbol was imprinted on his beacon to smaller recognized without a magnifying glass that's all I can tell you about pen sir for now of course at the time I did not know his name so I followed the rule what is the name of this a magnificent creature he is a para Hitchin his name is pincer I stood up smiled and said good day to you pincer and bowed to him before sitting down did I say you sit down I stumbled back Appa kicking my foot against the desk I resisted the pain coursing to my toes as the fear my throat would not allow me to say anything to his question now that this voice was more demonic than whatever grading undertone and jello had made my nervous hands intuitively went into a praying formation and I bowed my head as low as I possibly could tears streamed down my face I sense death in front of me pincers entire body had grown at least five times in size clutching on for dear life in the pouring interviewer shoulder here the only details I could point out where his talons they were ferociously scarred with bits of blood hair and flies draping over them a thick viscous Guha subjected itself down the interviewer Sheraton he didn't seem to react it's been centuries since I've had a proper me all your yes so hungry hungry I shrieked internally i cuter the splashing of slobber shattering the ground good you may now sit sit I looked back at pincer and once I followed his command he seemed to have turned back into a normal parent pecking away at the interviewers hair and clothes I'm more nervous than ever at this point something is clearly wrong here but I don't think anything good will happen if I try to leave this interview without completing that I try to convince myself that it couldn't get any worse and efforts in vain okay let's start the into the interviewer look to my right before being cut off and by cut off I mean a good half of his face was mauled and completely removed the upper diagonal half of what used to be his hadn't formed a sort of cup where anything that did not plop in the ground already poured out slowly in a mesh of dark red and pink his body slouched and fell under the desk I instantly puked on the remai Henson there is no way anybody would have been strong enough to win this something like this after wiping the edges of my mouth on my hand I kept my gaze downward but brought my head back up whatever did this was sitting across from me now welcome to your interview on mr. winch EV my name is Durant and I will be your interviewer for the day I didn't bother raise my eyes I couldn't even tell what time it was but I started counting seconds once he teleported to the other side of the desk 578 579 Chester why are you counting uh-oh is it because I'm going to eat you if you look at her talk to me before it's been 11 minutes he let out a hearty in belly laugh pincer squat and you know Center isn't that true the words just came out to my mouth on their own volition lies relied on to the previous interviewers car casa it's the reason that you're talking about I can only whimper in pincers presence the pressure was too overwhelming calm down pincer and there's no need for that pence retreated to his normal self and lift your head up now Chester stop for my nose catapults under the desk is a dead what I was being holding was a creature who looked like it had its best to impersonate a human Sapir Henson but to cover its mistakes it riddled itself with gashes scars tattoos and piercings his flesh was a Manilla Heuer and had circular protrusions kind of like bubble wrap what gave away what type of animal he was was his elongated stout rows and rows of jagged teeth Jedediah specs of radical Eamon in the light from the lamp on the Selina this was Durant he was a crocodile a freaking talking crocodile good and he smiled at me here what happened to following the rules untied technically disqualified now Vikki specifically said I should follow those pointers to the letter he looked confused rules oh the email Vickie sends those out to everybody to keep them on their toes we don't want anybody who will not be vigilant to show the utmost attention at their job here at the zoo now we do have rules you have to follow and keep up with it but those are secondary to what you will be doing here and will be shown to you if you get the job a few seconds go by so what happens now what happens now you're going to be interviewed of course who was he why was he here I pointed to the corpse his body already beginning to rot Oh hammer he played his role but now that is over Pinsir and clean this up boy yeah and you looked at me you might want to look away pincers demotic form emerge to Gannon but I close my eyes and time all I heard was the shuffling of something to have you across the floor some munching sounds and a giant gulp after a few seconds I opened them back up congratulations you made it farther than most people do they usually try to run but soon they forget that random ELISA and that were born and bred to be hunters he bared his teeth and a sinister expression blood still dripping from the other discouraging me from any attempts to flee what happens now huh I spoke slowly to negate the fear you keep asking the same questions and it's getting quite annoying huh but let's be calm Chester I'm not going to kill you when neither his pen sir even though he would absolutely love to pincer slipped up a little piece of meat that was dangling from his beak now it is time for your interview Durant opened his jaw wide enough to fit an entire person down his throat exposing extra sets of acute ivories kind of like Pennywise romantic he delved his entire arm into his mouth slightly gagging here and there causing me to become queasy Duran pulled his arm back out and in one swift motion to place something on the table covering it with his hand are you ready yes don't be scared Chester I will explain everything and alleviate your concerns once I review what is under here do you understand I got Atta he pulled his arm away and I immediately fell to the floor I took awhile to get back up staring at the object that was on the desk in front of me it was alive of beating hearts why why do you have that accent because this right here is your interviewer we at the zoo have to know if you were capable of following commands and completing tasks these tasks are what you would consider challenges one of your most important duties here at the zoo should you get the job will involve this little thing right here you played around with the heart like it was a ball of play-doh I had no idea what was going on but I knew that I de strengthened my resolve I had to control my fear it was either that or die my thoughts went back to the matter used to be sitting on that chair his brain and blood point out his skull was shattered into pieces I didn't want to end up like that I was going to do whatever it took Durant and pincer walked out of the Romo and leaving me with the heart they told me to keep my eyes on Anton and that they would know if I didn't it's bee was lethargic and yet oddly melodic I could see a fusion of red pink and blue slashing around as each thumping gesture was made it fascinated me more than anything I never witnessed a live heart right in front of my eyes I was never into Anatomy or anything like that but here was something that I felt like if I brought it to the right people could revolutionize medical practices around the globe however all the strange events that had occurred so far today reminded me of one thing life is fleeting now this heart was going to be crushed erect in front of me here I know Anton life was held in this one little Organa and it was so so easy to destroy the son of the door slamming open eyes startled my train of thought but Durant and pincer did not walk Anna it was jello mr. wind chef I have received permission from the Durant and pincer to Proctor your interview your interview consists of a challenge one of many challenges you will face here in the zoo if you get the position I had to go through this and so did Hallie and Vicky and the other employees who work here that heart hurts she pointed at the table her elbows cracking one segata is your key find the lock her arm directs her hand towards the door at the back of the interview room I stepped inside a jello slamming the door shut behind me I had never been in a more ominous room before I didn't even want to take any steps until my eyes adjusted to the darkness soon enough a few weak lights flicker Donna there were three bodies and neatly placed in front of me they looked as though they were lying on train tracks before being tied up except for the fact that they were clearly dead all three of them were cleaned dressed and pampered before they were brought here however they all shared one thing in common in a hole had been drilled more and more so created in their chest cavity the hole was large enough to accept a human heart ax can you hear me mr.
winch F if so say yes jell-o's voice boomed throughout my entire body yes good as you know the heart is what makes us different from other animals their hearts beat but ours play a rhythm a melodic rhythm would happy in a slow rhythm when sad and then erratic rhythm when afraid but everybody's rhythm is different each one is its own unique ensemble the wrong heart to the wrong person will result in a silent yet conspicuous and dissonance in the world this is your challenge find the correct person and belonging to this righteous heart you have only one attempt success means pass its way into employment failure means certain death you have three hours 30 now good luck the voice cut outta my body couldn't move the heart beats solemnly in my left hand the blood sloshing around I clenched it a little tighter it felt like a toy for a relieving stress I looked around the room for a clock but I couldn't find Juana I assumed that at least 15 minutes and passed cents and jello gave me the direct event find the correct person belonging to this righteous heart what the hell does that even mean am I supposed to just place the heart in one of these dead bodies and they come back to life is that to success or is that a failure I started stress squeeze attention I walked over to the three bodies two of them are madam and one was a woman I started with the right most body one of the matter he was wearing the same style grey suit that I had honor except his collar was rimmed with a jet-black under the jacket was a crimson red shirt and a black tie this man was definitely here for an interview probably weeks before I was but I shuddered it this could be me for the next unlucky soul that comes in the hole in his chest from a glass was the exact same size as the heart I was tempted to place it in and just accept what came but that would be morally incorrect what if I put the heart into him would he be the same would he be permanently something else' would he become a lot sir I didn't want that happening the next person in the middle was the woman she looked to have been in her late 20s and just like me she had one of those faces that just made you want to be friends with her and her brunette hair was gleaming Edna the mediocre light produced by the lamps but it was breathtaking maybe she was the righteous person maybe this heart deserves to be in her even if it wasn't hers to begin with what if she was actually a crazed serial killer who killed for Fonda what if she murdered children it was impossible to rationale what kind of person she was when she was alive she was equally as unknown to the heart as the first man wa Hassan I was beginning to believe this entire process was futile and that's when I approached the last core Epson he donned a kimono the left side of it - dark green the right side in Orchard peg his head was shaved saved for the lone ponytail resting against the stone floor hair he had a sheath attached to his habit but no sign of a katana he looked like someone straight out of feudal Japan a man who breathed his last obeying his coat and his Shogun leader I saw recollections upon recollections of a man fighting to feed his family staving off bandits in' helping those in need the hole in his chest was a little different from the other two it was bright a soft white glow hid my face as I got closer closer closer the heart was moving in conjunction this has to be the right wanna his soul is pure I can see it feel it it has to be I could hear a laugh in a distance I saw the silhouette film an salmon and a child who was burning to death no sense of remorse in his reflection I saw him shaving his weapon and leaving a woman and another child behind in the fire clutching at the chest of the dead father this was madness I couldn't do it no matter how much the light tempted me no matter how fast the heart was thumping near the samurai how could someone like me who had accomplished nothing in his life who dropped out of college who disappointed his parents who had no worthy qualifications to live upon decide the owner out for a righteous heart I started to cry and then I remembered why I was here I had Nevada I needed something this job being a zoo specialist was what I needed the feeling of importance I needed it being recognized I need attention and this was the way to get engine and so I destroyed the heart I squeezed it out of existence torn at its like wild dogs due to a stray lamb I let the blood cascade down my hand down my arm and on to my chest a crazed mental state had taken over me and there was nothing that I could do to stop it and then a voice mr. wynn chef mr.
