The life example of the Roman philosopher Epictetus, who was born as a slave, gained freedom and became one of the most respected people of his time. It makes us wonder how our mental condition can overlap with the circumstances of our lives. His philosophy was accessible and very practical for living a good life.
In this video I will tell a little about his story as a Stoic philosopher, and give sixteen practical pieces of advice for living with freedom and happiness that I extracted from his rich work. “The Epictetus Handbook. ” Epictetus' Art of Living.
Epictetus, did not leave philosophical writings, just as Plato did with Socrates, Flávio Arriano immortalized the philosopher's main points from his lectures. Epictetus was born in fifty-five years after Christ, in the region we now know as Turkey. Admired for his intelligence, his owner sent him to Rome to study with Musonius Rufus, he stood out in such a way that he won his freedom.
Later, after being banished from Rome by Emperor Domitian, Epictetus settled in Nicopolis, Greece, where he founded a school and dedicated himself to teaching Stoicism until the end of his days. Epictetus believed that philosophizing is like embarking on a journey to separate reality from the false beliefs that surround us. He says that many of the ideas we have come from errors in judgment, societal traditions or even from what we learned from our parents and teachers, even though they were passed on with good intentions.
For him, the key to alleviating the suffering of the soul involves deep introspection and awareness of our beliefs and habits, distinguishing between the productive and the unproductive. Happiness, according to Epictetus, is the direct result of correct attitudes. His work basically dealt with answering the following questions: "How can I live a happy and complete life?
" and "How can I be a good person? " The main function of philosophy is to help ordinary people face life's challenges, so let's now focus on Epictetus' sixteen pieces of advice for a life full of happiness and virtue. Before we move on.
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One. Behave like an adult. This message from Epictetus reminds me of an excerpt from the letters of Paul of Tarsus, which says: “As a boy I did boyish things, as a man, I do manly things.
So I abandon boyish things. ” When we see children playing, they have power over each other, because at the first offense, they fight back, cry, are deeply offended and want to turn to their parents. How many times do we behave like this, just as Paul wrote: “even educated men and women have not yet abandoned childish things?
” No one can hurt you, no one has that power over you. Even in fights and disagreements in family, with friends or in your relationships. When someone says something that irritates or offends you, the decision to interpret it as an insult is entirely yours.
If you feel provoked, it is your reaction to the situation that really causes the irritation. The next time it feels like someone is trying to get under your skin, remember that it's your judgment about the situation that creates that feeling. Don't let this bring emotional out of control into your life.
Avoid reacting impulsively. Step back, look at the situation from a broader perspective, and take a deep breath. Often, our reaction is just a reflection of social conditioning that we need to unlearn.
You learned to react, take offense, or seek help as a child. Today, you are an adult and you can change your reaction, you have power over it. The transition from childhood to adulthood is not defined just by age or physique, but mainly by the evolution of our behavior and the way we react to life situations.
This next piece of advice is a powerful reminder not to place too much importance on opinions that often affect me more than they should. Compliments, however acceptable and pleasant they may be, often condition us to act in a certain way, to always please and seek to repeat the dose. Criticism can bring us insecurity, increasing the constant need to defend ourselves or explain ourselves to others.
Let your actions speak for you. We have no control over how others see us, and trying to manipulate this perception is a futile effort that only wears us down morally. Except in cases of physical abuse, no one—whether family, friends, or co-workers —can hurt you unless you let them.
Maintaining this control over your emotions and reactions is a mark of true maturity. Two. Separate what you can control from what you can't.
This point is the basis of everything: Some things are within our control and others are not. Recognizing and accepting what is beyond our control is fundamental to achieving freedom. When we place our hopes and energies in elements beyond our reach, we inevitably feel trapped and frustrated.
What can we control? Our wants, goals and aversions are personal aspects that are under our direct influence. We have the power to adjust our internal responses and attitudes.
How we decide to respond to everything that happens to us. On the other hand, we have no control over the body we are born into, our family of origin or our social position. These are external factors, and worrying excessively about them only increases our anxiety.
Focusing on what is within our reach and practicing indifference towards external factors is a wise strategy. Epictetus defined one of the main pillars of Stoicism in a simple and clear way. But applying it in our lives can be quite difficult, especially in the most challenging moments, like your neighbor turning on the music loud, while you need to study.
Your team at work has not engaged with the project and you are experiencing issues with delivery. When you sit in three hours of traffic and fail to keep your word on an appointment you were actually going to. Life, sooner or later, will challenge everyone, without exception.
Losses and setbacks are inevitable, whether in the form of material possessions, relationships, health or status. Stoicism teaches us to face these challenges with serenity, offering a path to overcome adversity and find new meaning in the face of life's changes. This is an invitation to deeply reflect on resilience and the value of detachment in the face of the uncertainties of our existence.
Three. Be deep, get out of the shallow. Without dedicating ourselves fully to the challenges, we will be shallow, superficial people and will never develop our talents.
We all know people who look for everything that is fashionable or trendy. Or the one that makes money fast, or that loses weight quickly, or that manages to read two books a day, only to abandon them at the first sign of difficulty, stopping making an effort and completely losing enthusiasm. Acting like this leads to premature giving up, leaving projects and dreams half done as soon as obstacles or another new development appear, which promises better results more quickly .
Nothing great is created suddenly, Epictetus tells us, including our abilities. To truly develop our talents and achieve satisfaction, it is essential to immerse ourselves body and soul in what we propose to do, always seeking depth in our actions and interests. A diamond is just a coal that has resisted pressure.
Four. Choose your companies well. When we live with someone, one of two things happens: either you will be influenced or you will influence the other person.
It's like placing a cold coal next to a lit one: either they both go out or they both catch fire. Many of us still don't have the necessary determination to choose companies aligned with our goals, so we end up being dragged along by the crowd. This can cloud our values and weaken our judgment.
Getting involved in negative conversations with friends is easy, he starts complaining and you You automatically look for reasons in your life to complain too, and this drags you down with the social flow. Therefore, until you are firm enough in your self-protection and ability to positively influence, be meticulous in your choice of friends, colleagues, and neighbors. They can, in fact, alter the course of your life.
The golden rule is: choose people who lift you up, elevate you and don't pull you down. Remember that you become the average of the five people you spend most time with. Five.
Raise the standard of your conversations. You open Facebook and something about bbb appears. How is so-and-so treating Beltrano, what happened in the leader's test.
You go to Instagram, so-and-so wears a short dress to a samba school rehearsal. Or it's the coach who became a meme telling some stories of dubious origin. If we use the internet, we are not immune to this type of post, even if you don't follow this type of page, it is very difficult to miss.
And, without realizing it, we are talking about these things and we are not aware of the negative influences they can have on us. Talking often about bullshit can make us bullshit people, as we become a reflection of what we pay attention to. If the conversation turns negative or unhelpful, try to leave or, if that's not possible, remain silent to show disinterest.
When possible, direct to more positive topics, especially if you are with strangers. Value laughter and good humor, but always with respect, laughing with others, not at them. What we consume consumes us, as content feeds our minds and shapes who we are.
Six. Don't seek validation from others. Don't base your worth on the approval of others.
True merit is internal and does not depend on external praise. Remember, people won't always agree with you or appreciate your efforts. Grow on your own.
Build your merit, engage with people who inspire you and dedicate yourself to your work with or without recognition. True value comes from within, not from the acceptance of others. If you run into a problem, look for internal solutions.
Develop your intuition and discover your hidden capabilities. True wisdom is reflected in serenity and self-confidence. Avoid seeking approval or comparing yourself to others.
Satisfaction comes from authenticity and personal progress, not the image we project. Keep your focus on your truth and your development, preserving your inner power. Seven.
Embrace simplicity. This idea is reminiscent of the principles of minimalism: be aware of the balance of things in your life to avoid falling into the trap of excess. Your possessions should meet your body's needs exactly, just like a shoe that fits your foot perfectly.
We experience excess consumption, in all forms, in shopping, medicine, entertainment, online games, food, laziness and relaxation, stimuli, cigarettes, illicit drugs, pornography, body worship and many others. Today EVERYTHING is available at our fingertips and we need to learn to say no. Reduce our needs, as the philosopher Epictetus reminds us, because without ethical guidance , it is easy to get lost in the search for more, often going beyond what is necessary.
This teaching reminds us of the importance of cultivating modesty and simplicity in all aspects of life, choosing what truly meets our needs rather than allowing ourselves to be carried away by the desire to accumulate. Eight. Be wary of Shortcuts to Success.
Don't be fooled by quick success recipes. The truth is, there are no "Five Easy Steps" to a fulfilling life. What really matters is how we handle our responsibilities and challenges.
Ignore advice that promises a lot without showing results. Look at what people do, not what they say, and judge them by the results they get. This perspective, although it may seem modern, is timeless.
Value genuine actions and live according to your principles, as it is in authenticity and personal responsibility that we find true satisfaction. Nine. Have knowledge, but learn to act.
Having knowledge is fundamental, but without taking action. It doesn't really solve our lives. On the contrary, if we just fill ourselves with knowledge without action, we end up frustrated by realizing that our life leaves the same place, even though we are “full of knowledge”.
Knowledge is like the bench press of the mind. A powerful tool to strengthen the mind, for this, we need to think, reflect on knowledge and act. True growth comes from applying what we learn.
It's not enough to just say that you know, that you read or know, show that this knowledge taught you to think more critically, to reflect and to make more accurate judgments. And, don't fool yourself into believing that you need to learn more before taking action. The little we know, applied, generates a lot of results.
Don't fall into the trap of always looking for the next miracle course, the next revolutionary book, the next miracle diet or belief system without first putting into practice what you've already learned. Remember: no sage, book, diet or belief can lead you to a life fully lived; This journey is entirely yours. It's time to minimize dependence on external sources and embrace self-reliance.
Be the curator of your own life, applying the knowledge you acquire to truly live richer and fuller. Ten. Don't take things personally.
When someone acts rudely towards you, regardless of what they have done, the philosopher Epictetus advises us to think the following: “If I were that person and were facing the same problems, born in the same condition, with the same parents, would I be that I wouldn’t have behaved the same way? ” We often don't know what battles others are facing or the stories behind their actions. Having patience and understanding that we all have our limitations can help us respond with more compassion.
This does not mean that we should accept negative behavior, but rather try to understand the context. Most of the time, people do not intend to do harm; and even when they do, the most powerful response is compassion. Someone who acts maliciously has often lost something essential: the ability to discern what is healthy for them.
They are, in a way, deprived of their inner peace. So the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, instead of responding with anger or hatred, choose to feel compassion. Remember that by doing this you maintain your own peace and contribute to a slightly kinder world.
Eleven. Practice kindness. I discovered a charming and perhaps most compelling argument for why being kind really pays off: being virtuous and being happy are actually the same thing.
It's not a matter of being nice just to get something in return, like I'm going to be nice now, to get something later. True kindness is both the journey and the destination. It is both the act and its own reward.
Being kind isn't just about displaying good manners; It’s about making deep , ongoing adjustments to our character. It is a process of aligning our thoughts, words and actions so that they reflect the best of us, step by step, towards a healthier state of being. And this true virtue is in intentions and actions, and not necessarily in results.
We must strive to be good, because, deep down, being good is synonymous with being happy. It is living in peace, free from the constraints of worries and full of contentment. Twelve.
Keep your projects confidential. Think of it this way: if you're already surrounded by amazing friends, great! But even so, it is crucial to choose carefully who you tell your dreams and projects to.
This is because your ideas are treasures that must be protected from being worn out or devalued prematurely. Keeping your plans secret, especially in the beginning, is like putting armor on them. This is because not everyone will be positive about your achievements.
Some may even try to bring you down. So, keep your tongue in your mouth before telling your plans. While it's tempting to share every step of the way, holding back helps keep your enthusiasm intact and your ideas safe.
When you wait for the right time to reveal your projects, you not only increase your chances of success, but you also protect your vision. Remember: Your best moves should be made in silence until it's time to shine. Thirteen.
Transform Your Habits, Transform Your Life. Anyone who has read the book “Power of Habit” will notice a lot of similarities in the idea that Epictetus already defended two thousand years ago. It's not just the obvious actions like exercising, reading or studying that create habits.
Our emotional attitudes, such as feeling anger, envy or jealousy, also follow the same rule: the more you practice, the stronger the habit becomes. Think of it this way: every time you let yourself get carried away by anger, it's like you're throwing more fuel on the fire of that feeling. But what if you simply decided not to feed that flame?
Here's a golden tip: start by trying not to react immediately. Mark your calendar for each day you can stay calm. You will notice that, little by little, calm days will become more frequent.
First, you'll stop getting angry "always," then "most of the time," and so on , until calmness becomes your new normal. It's simple: don't feed the habit you want to eliminate. Take it one step at a time and before you know it, you will have replaced your anger with calm.
This change is not only possible, it is within your reach. Transform your habits, and you will transform your life. Fourteen.
Embrace the power of now. Inspired by the concept of "The Power of Now", the book by Eckhart Tolle, understand that the moment to exist is this instant. The time to live is now, try living fully present, in this exact moment.
Abandon the “what if” that conditions you to a moment that is yet to happen. And start paying attention to what's in front of you, participate, get engaged, value your connection with nature that happens all the time. Go back inside and ask yourself: How can I make the best use of this moment to enhance the flow of life?
Pay attention and really get involved. Even in times when doors seem closed and opportunities are scarce, you are not alone. The Stoics believed that divine providence works within us.
Allow yourself to listen. When it comes to the gift of living, your life is the main study material. Fifteen.
Take risks, be bold. If you want a truly fulfilling and meaningful life, you need to take risks and be courageous. Deep down, most of us would like to live in a world of integrity and corruption, it would be great to live in a world with more trust, generosity and tolerance.
However, few people are willing to be the first to act on these ideals. And, it's not because we are lazy, it's simply because we are afraid, afraid of life's uncertainties. Generally, we adopt behaviors and attitudes that are accepted by society to maintain relationships, business and avoid chaos.
While this happens, we miss what it would be like to live with true virtue, which brings us happiness, freedom and fulfillment. Stoics believe that anxiety, lack of purpose, and fear of loss are results of our turning away from virtue. For them, virtue is more important than being cool, defensive, or conservative.
Virtue is an unconditional good, while other values such as friendship and sympathy are extremely valuable, but depend on conditions. Therefore, virtue is considered supreme, being the only path to a true understanding of oneself and an authentic connection with others and nature. Sixteen.
Some thoughts from Epictetus. Arrogance is a mask of cowardice and the biggest obstacle to a fulfilling life. Clear reasoning and vanity cannot coexist.
When our thoughts, words and actions are aligned, everything flows more easily and the fear goes away. The true purpose of philosophy is to learn to live. And learning to live is the same as achieving the good life or happiness.
Achieving a good life must be what philosophy allows us to do by teaching virtue, which translates into a life of simplicity, self-control and acceptance of circumstances that do not depend on us. And if you made it this far, comment “Gratitude”. Also take the opportunity to share this video with a friend who needs it.
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