Paramahansa Yogananda: How to cultivate divine love

the world as a whole has forgotten the real meaning of the word love love has been so abused and crucified by man that very few people know what true love is just as oil is present in every particle of the olive so love permeates every part of creation but to Define love is very difficult for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavor of an orange you have to taste the fruit to know its flavor so with [Music] love how to cultivate Divine love extracts from lectures by paramahansa Yogananda October 10th [Music] 1943

all of you have tasted love in some form in your hearts therefore you know a little about what it is but you have not understood how to develop love how to purify and expand it into Divine love a spark of this Divine love exists in most hearts in the beginning of life but is usually lost because man does not know how to cultivate it many people wouldn't think it even necessary to analyze what love is they recognize love as the feeling they have for their relatives friends and others whom they are strongly attracted but there

is much more to it than that the only way I can describe real love to you is to tell you its effect if you could feel even a particle of divine love so great would be your joy so overpowering you could not contain [Music] it think deeply about what I am telling you the satisfaction of love is not in the feeling itself but in the joy that feeling brings love gives joy we love love because it gives us such intoxicating happiness so love is not the ultimate the ultimate is bliss God is sat Anand ever

existing ever conscious ever new Bliss we as Soul are individualized sat Chand from Joy we have come in joy we live and have our being and in that sacred joy we will one day melt again all the Divine emotions love compassion courage self-sacrifice humility would be meaningless without joy joy means exhilaration an expression of the ultimate Bliss man's experience of Joy originates in the brain in the subtle Center of God Consciousness that the yogis call the Sahar or thousand pedal Lotus yet the actual feeling of joy is experienced not in the head but in the

heart from the Divine seat of God Consciousness into the brain Joy descends Into the Heart Center and manifests there that Joy comes from God's Bliss the essential and ultimate attribute of spirit [Music] though Joy may be born in conjunction with certain outer conditions it is not subject to conditions it often manifests without any material cause sometimes you wake up in the morning walking on air with joy and you don't know why and and when you sit in the Silence of deep meditation Joy bubbles up from within roused by no outer stimulus the joy of meditation

is overwhelming those who have not gone into the Silence of true meditation do not know what real Joy is we feel much happiness in the satisfaction of a desire but in youth we often feel in the heart a sudden happiness that comes as if from nowhere Joy expresses itself under certain conditions but it is not created by those conditions thus when someone receives $1,000 and exclaims oh how happy I am the condition of having received $1,000 has merely served as a pickaxe releasing a fountain of Joy from the hidden Reservoir of bliss within so in

Human Experience certain events are usually required to bring forth Joy but the joy itself is the perennial native state of the Soul love also is native to the soul but love is secondary to Joy there could be no love without Joy can you think of Love Without Joy no joy attends love when we speak of the misery of unrequitted love we are talking of an unfulfilled longing the actual experience of Love is always accompanied by Joy the universal nature of love in the Universal sense love is the divine power of attraction in creation that harmonizes

unites binds together it is opposed by the force of repulsion which is the outgoing cosmic energy that materializes creation from the cosmic consciousness of God repulsion keeps all forms in the manifested state through Maya the power of delusion that divides differentiates and disharmonize the attractive force of Love counteracts Cosmic repulsion to harmonize all creation and ultimately draw it back to God those who live in tune with the attractive force of love achieve harmony with nature and their fellow beings and are attracted to Blissful reunion with [Music] God in this world love presupposes Duality it Springs

from a mutual Exchange or suggestion of feelings between two or more forms even animals Express a certain type of love for one another and for their [Music] offspring in many species when one mate dies the other usually succumbs soon after but this love in animals is instinctive they are not responsible for their love human beings however have a great deal of conscious self-determination in their exchange of love with others in man love expresses itself in various ways we find love between man and wife parent and child brother and sister Friend and Friend master and servant

Guru and disciple as with Jesus and his disciples and the great masters of India and their shalas and between the devote and God Soul and [Music] Spirit [Music] love is a universal emotion its expressions are distinguished by by the nature of the thought through which it moves hence When Love passes through the heart of the father fatherly Consciousness translates it into fatherly love when it passes through the heart of the mother motherly Consciousness translates it into motherly love when it passes through the heart of the love the consciousness of the lover gives that Universal love

still another quality it is not the physical instrument but the Consciousness through which the love moves that determines the quality of Love expressed thus a father May Express motherly love a mother may Express friendly love a lover May Express Divine love every reflection of love comes from the one Cosmic Love but when expressed as human love in its various forms there's always some taint in it the mother doesn't know why she loves the child the child knows not why he loves the mother they do not know whence comes this love they feel for one another

it is the Manifest in them of God's love and when it is pure and unselfish it reflects his Divine love thus by investigating human love we can learn something of divine love for in human love we have glimpses of that love of Gods fatherly love is based on reason fatherly love is wisdom born and based on reason uppermost in the father's Consciousness is the thought this is my child to take care of and protect he does this unselfishly expressing his love by doing things to please and instruct the child as well as providing for its

needs but fatherly love is partly instinctive as are all forms of familial love the father cannot help but love the child motherly love is based on feeling and is unconditional motherly love is broader it is based on feeling rather than on reason true True Mother love is unconditional we can say that in many ways it is more spiritual and therefore greater than most human expressions of love God implanted in the heart of the mother a love for the child that is unconditional regardless of the child's Merit or behavior even if the child in later life

becomes a murderer the Mother's Love Remains remains steady unchanged whereas the father may be more impatient and less inclined to forgive the unconditional love of the mother is perhaps the human love closest to the Perfection of God's love the True Mother forgives her son even when no one else will that kind of love exemplifies God's love he forgives his children no matter what sins they have committed now who can have placed This Love in the mother's heart save [Music] God and in true maternal love God gives us distinct proof that he loves us unconditionally no

matter how Wicked we are or how many times we have sinned the Divine spirit is not a tyrant he knows he has put us in a world of delusion he knows we are in trouble he knows of our struggles man only increases the inner darkness of his spiritual ual ignorance when he thinks of himself as a sinner it is better for him to try to correct himself appealing to the Divine mother for help beholding in her the reflection of God's infinite love and [Music] forgiveness while I was meditating last night I sang this song to

The Divine oh Divine mother I am thy little babe thy helpless babe secretly sitting on thy lap of immortality I shall steal my way to heaven secreted on thy lap in the shelter of thy lap I shall steal my way to heaven no Karma can touch me for I I am thy babe thy little babe thy helpless babe secretly on thy lap I shall steal my way to heaven that is the relationship to have with God for the love of the mother is the all forgiving love of the [Music] Divine conjugal love at its most

idealistic conjugal love can be one of the greatest expressions of human love Jesus implied this when he said for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife when man and woman genuinely and purely love one another there there is complete Harmony between them in body mind and soul when their love is expressed in the highest form it results in a perfect Unity but this love too has its flaw it can be tainted by the abuse of sex which eclipses Divine love nature has made the sex impulsive very strong

so that creation might go on then therefore sex has its place in the marital relationship between man and woman but if it becomes the Supreme factor in that relationship love flies out the door and disappears completely in its place comes possessiveness over familiarity in the abuse and loss of friendship and understanding though sexual attraction is one of the conditions under which love is born sex in itself is not love sex and love are as far apart as the moon and the sun it is only when the transmuting quality of true love is uppermost in the

relationship that sex becomes a means of expressing love those who live too much on the sex plane lose their way and fail to find a satisfying marital relationship it is by self-control in which sex is not the ruling emotion but only incidental to love that husband and wife can know what real love is in this modern world unfortunately love is too often destroyed by overemphasis on sex experience those who practice a natural not forced moderation in their sex life develop other enduring qualities in the husband wife relationship friendship companionship understanding mutual love for example Madame

amalita giki and her husband Homer Samuels are the greatest lovers I have met in the west their love is beautiful because they practice these ideals of which I speak when parted even for a short time they eagerly look forward to seeing each other again to being in each other's company to sharing their thoughts and love they live for each other the relationship between Ella wheeler Wilcox and her husband is another beautiful example of conjugal love Mr John Lin a student of mine who knew them told me that he had never seen anything like their love

He said Each time that they met it was as if they experienced again the joy of the first time they were utterly devoted to one another for 3 years after his death her constant thought was a reunion with him then she passed on his name on her lips I met a man of similarly unselfish devotion in this country he deeply loved his wife so much that his love for her became transmuted into Divine love after she died he wandered for years seeking a way to find her again at last he did Succeed In The End

he found God through his love for her this is the story as he told it to me in his wanderings after death he sought out a great Saint in the Himalayas he persuaded the holy man to promise to give spiritual initiation to him and his wife together after assuring him of his promise the saint asked where is your wife the husband then told him that she was dead the saint nevertheless kept his promise to give initiation to the two together he instructed the man to sit in meditation and began to invoke the presence of the

wife suddenly she appeared for a long time she talked with her husband then the two sat together and received initiation from the saint afterward the Holy One blessed them and the wife Departed from that moment the husband realized that the Beloved form he had known as his wife was in reality an individualized manifestation of the consciousness of God as is every human being the true meaning of divine love which is behind and responsible for every ideal human relationship was revealed to him his was a unique and true experience but conjugal love is tricky and most

people leave this world with an unsatisfied heart they have not sought marital love in the right way attracted mostly by pleasing appearance they look for their soulmate in a graveyard of beautiful nicely dressed forms unmindful that a devil may be housed within I'm not condemning man and woman for responding to the god- created Law of Attraction I'm condemning the perversion of that attraction through lustfulness every man who looks upon a woman as an object of lust and who abuses woman to satisfy his lust commits self-destruction continue sex abuse impairs the nervous system and affects the

heart eventually destroying peace and happiness mankind must realize that the basic nature of the soul is spiritual for man and woman to look upon each other only as a means to satisfy lust is to court the destruction of Happiness slowly bit by bit peace of mind will go the abuse of sex is comparable to running a car without oil the body cannot stand it each drop of vital Essence lost is equivalent to the loss of eight drops of blood but the important point to remember is to learn self-control this comes with control and purification of

the mind and is far superior to abstaining outwardly from sex when the mind is yet dwelling on it mere suppression can be harmful man and woman should look upon one another as reflections of the Divine I find it very sweet when my husband calls the wife mother or when she calls him father every woman should look upon man as father my attitude toward woman is as toward a mother in my eyes she is not merely a woman but an expression of of the Divine mother it is divine mother I behold speaking to me through a

[Music] woman women should not strive to attract men with it one should always look neat and it is not wrong to make oneself attractive if it is done with good taste but it is wrong to strive purposely to attract the opposite sex through sex appeal attraction between man and woman should come from the soul those who have sex control and do not flaunt themselves as sex symbols have a much better chance of attracting the right kind of mate so many young girls have come to me and complain that the boys want sex first or they

won't take them out sex experience is runess to youthful lives in India young people never touch or kiss until they are married love comes first that must be the ideal when two people feel an unconditional attraction for each other and are ready to sacrifice for one another they are truly in love then only are they ready for an intimate into relationship in marriage mere possessiveness won't do when one marriage partner tries to control the other it shows a lack of real love but when they express their love in continual thoughtfulness for the true happiness of

the other it becomes Divine love in such a relationship we have a glimpse of the Divine many wives come to me and say my husband doesn't want me to become interested in spiritual matters this is extremely selfish if the wife is trying to make herself more spiritual the husband should cooperate with her he won't lose her on the contrary he will receive a part of her virtue this same principle applies to a woman's attitude toward her husband the greatest thing a husband or wife can wish for their spouse house is spirituality for soul unfoldment brings

out the Divine qualities of understanding patience thoughtfulness love but each should remember that the desire for spiritual growth cannot be forced on the other live love yourself and your goodness will inspire all your loved ones after a few years of marriage thousands of husbands and wives ask themselves where has our love gone it has been burned on the altar of sex abuse selfishness and lack of respect when these qualities enter the relationship love turns to ashes woman nags man when he strives to enslave her or when she feels he has neglected her however tongue lashing

is one of the worst treatments one can inflict on another it is said that a woman's 3-in tongue can kill a man 6 feet tall when man and woman mistreat each other they destroy forever their happiness together man should strive to to see the god in woman and to help her realize her spiritual nature he should make her feel that she is with him not merely to satisfy his sensual appetite but as a companion whom he respects and regards as an expression of the Divine and woman should look upon man in the same way another

wrong attitude is fear of the opposite sex AB normal aversion like abnormal attraction is an unhealthy attitude from my master Swami I learned to regard woman not as an instrument created for the entrapment and moral destruction of man but as a representative of the Divine mother of the universe if and when man begins to look upon Woman as a mother's symbol he will will find in her a loving protection he has never seen before through God's grace I have been able to change the consciousness of many men and women with this spiritual thought every man

should look upon Woman as a symbol of the mother of the universe and every woman should look upon man as a symbol of the father of the universe when those persons left my presence they felt that the Divine mother and heavenly father had spoken through me because I addressed them from that Divine Consciousness I wonder if there would be any conjugal love at all if there were no such thing as sex attraction ordinary persons would not have the capacity to feel such love but those who are spiritually developed would because they are not attracted on

the the basis of sex those who have cultivated their soul qualities know that sex has nothing to do with true love if you develop the perfect love of your soul you will begin to get a glimpse of the Divine Jesus Christ manifested that love which is pure and Grand and wonderful this love found expression also in the lives of many great Saints [Music] love between master and servant the tie of love between master and servant is based on Mutual benefit the more money and kindness given by the master the more the servant loves him the

greater the service rendered by the servant the more warmly the master regards him this can be a relationship of love but its basic motivation is the security each gives to the other friendship grandest relationship of human loves the relationship that exists between friends is the grandest of human loves friendly love is pure because it is without compulsion one freely chooses to love his friends he is not bound by Instinct the love that manifests in Friendship can exist between man and woman woman and woman man and man but in the love of friendship there is no

sexual attraction one must practice celibacy and absolutely forget sex if one wants to know Divine love through friendship then friendship nurtures the cultivation of divine love such pure friendship has existed between Saints and between others who truly love God if you once know Divine love you will never part with it for there is nothing else like it in the world for there is nothing else like it in the whole universe love gives without expecting anything in return I never think of anyone in terms of what he can do for me and I never profess love

to someone because he has done something for me if I didn't actually feel love I wouldn't pretend to give it and since I feel it I give it I learned that sincerity from my my master there may be some who do not feel friendly toward me but I am a friend to all including my enemies for in my heart I have no enemies love cannot be had for the asking it comes only as a gift from the heart of another be certain of your feeling before you say to anyone I love you once you give

your love it must be forever not because you want to be near that person but because you want Perfection for that soul to wish for Perfection for the loved one and to feel pure joy in thinking of that soul is divine love and that is the love of true friendship the unconditional Divine friendship of Guru and disciple the relationship between Guru and disciple is the greatest expression of love and friendship it is unconditional Divine friendship based on a shared singular goal the desire to love God above all else the disciple Bears his soul to the

master and the master Bears his heart to the disciple there is nothing hidden between them even in other Noble forms of friendship there is sometimes diplomacy but the Friendship of Guru disciple relationship is taintless I can think of no relationship in this world greater than that which I had with my master the guru disciple relationship is love in its Supreme form I once left his ashram thinking I could more successfully seek God in the Himalayas I was mistaken and I soon knew I had done wrong yet when I came back he treated me as if

I had never left his greetings was so casual instead of rebuking me he calmly remarked let us see what we have to eat this morning but master I said aren't you angry with me for leaving why should I be he replied I do not expect anything from others so their actions cannot be in opposition to wishes of mine I would not use you for my own ends I'm happily only in your own true happiness when he said that I fell at his feet and cried for the first time there is someone who truly loves me

if I had been looking after the business of my Earthly father and had run away father would have been very angry with me when I had refused to accept a lucrative position offered to me he wouldn't speak to me for 7 days he gave me the most sincere fatherly love but still it was blind he thought money would make make me happy money would have been the grave of my happiness only later after I had started my school at Roni did my father did Father relent and say I'm glad you didn't take that job but

look at my Master's attitude even though I ran away from the ashram to seek God his love for me remained unchanged he didn't even rebuke me yet at other times he always told me clearly when I was wrong he said if my love can be bribed to compromise itself then it is not love if I have to alter my behavior toward you for fear of your reaction then my feeling for you is not true love I must be able to speak to you honestly you can walk out anytime but so long as you are with

me I will remind you for your own highest good when you are going wrong I had never imagined anyone could be so interested in me he loved me for myself he wanted Perfection for me he wanted me to be supremely happy that was his happiness he wanted me to know God to be with the Divine mother for whom my heart longed was that not Divine love he expressed to wish constantly to guide me in the path of goodness and love when that love is developed between the guru and disciple the disciple has no desire to

manipulate the master nor does the master seek control of the disciple Supreme reason and judgment govern their relationship there is no love like this and I tasted of that love from my [Music] master God's love sublimely manifest in Bhavan [Music] Krishna Lord Krishna expressed in his life pure love in it highest form he has shown to the world that a love without any impurity can exist between man and woman it is impossible to describe adequately his life for the general public because it was so unique and transcended mundane laws and standards someday I hope to

put in print the true significance of krishna's life for it has been much misunderstood and misinterpreted his expression of divine love was unique in the world Krishna had many women disciples but one favorite radada each disciple said to herself Krishna loves me more than anyone else still because Krishna often talked of rad the others were envious of her noticing ing their jealousy he wanted to teach them a lesson so one day Krishna feigned a terrible headache the anxious disciples expressed their great concern over the Master's distress at last Krishna said the headache will go away

if one of you will stand on my head and massage it with your feet the horrified devotees exclaimed we cannot do this you are God the lord of the universe it would be highest sacrilege to dare to desecrate your form by touching your sacred head with our feet the master was pretending an increase of his pain when Rada came on the scene she ran to her Lord saying what can I do for you Krishna made the same request of her that he had made of the other devotees R immediately stood on his head the Master's

pain disapp appeared and he fell asleep the other disciples angrily dragged R away from the sleeping form we will kill you they threatened but why you dare to step on the head of the master what of it R protested did it not free him from his pain for such a sacrilegious act you will go to the lowest stratum of Hades oh is that what you are worrying about R smiled I would gladly live there forever if it would make him happy for a second then they all bowed down to Rada they understood why Krishna favored

her for Rada alone had no thought for herself but only for her Lord's Comfort nevertheless because she received much special attention R became filled with pride so one day the the Lord Krishna said to her let us steal away together he played on her vanity making her think he wanted to be alone with her she was feeling very happy and favored they walked some distance and Krishna wasn't at all inclined to stop for rest finally the wary R suggested here is a nice place to sit for a while kishna looked disinterested and replied let us

find find a better spot they walked and walked at last the exhausted R complained I cannot walk any further kishna said all right do you want me to carry you this very much pleased Rad's vanity but even as she sprang to his back oh Krishna was gone she fell in a heap on the ground her Pride shattered on her knees knees she humbly cried my beloved Lord I was wrong in wanting to possess and control you please forgive me Krishna reappeared and blessed her Rada had learned a great lesson that day it was a grievous

error to look upon the master as an ordinary man to be in snared and controlled by feminine WS she realized that the master was interested not in her form but in her [Music] soul the perfect love between Soul and Spirit the greatest love you can experience is in communion with God in meditation the love between the soul and and spirit is the perfect love the love you are all seeking when you meditate love grows millions of Thrills pass through your heart if you learn to control sex attraction and attachment to human beings and if you

strive to love all and to meditate more deeply there will come into your life such love as you never dreamed possible that is the the love that Krishna gave and that Jesus Christ expressed for all of his disciples it is the love Jesus had for Mary Martha worked hard for the master but her mind was on the chores not on him Mary thought more of the master himself than of her work because of Mary's Greater Love Jesus said of her Mary hath chosen that good part which shall not be taken away from her and on

another occasion when Mary had brought ointment to anoint the feet of Jesus and Judas said why was not this ointment sold for 300 Pence and given to the poor Christ answered the poor always ye have with you but me ye have not always he accepted Mary's devotion not for himself personally but for the spirit within him and Mary by anointing Jesus's feet was expressing her love for God Mary thought first to offer her love to him who is Master of the Universe and then to others shows her good judgment there is no one to whom

we owe owe love more than to God and there is no love sweeter than the love he gives to those who seek him so why spend all of your time pursuing temporary human love conjugal familial fraternal all forms of human love have blind alleys Divine love is the only perfect to love it is God who is playing hide and seek in the corridors of hearts that per chance behind lesser human loves you may find his all satisfying Love Therefore love God not for his gifts but because he is your own and because he made you

in His image and you will find him if you meditate deeply a love will come over you such as no human tongue can describe you will know his Divine love and you will be able to give that pure love to others that Divine love of God came over me last night I had only a wink of sleep so overwhelming it was in that great flame of love I am beholding you all such is the love I feel for you in your faces I see what is in your hearts in the consciousness of one who is

immersed in the Divine love of God there is no deception no narrowness of cast or Creed no boundaries of any kind when you experience that Divine love you will see no difference between flower and Beast between one human being and another you will commune with all nature and you will love equally all mankind beholding but One race the children of God your brothers and sisters in him you will say to yourself God is my father I am part of his vast family of human beings I love them for they are all mine I love too

my brother son and my sister Moon and All Creatures my father has created and in whom his life flows true love is divine and divine love is Joy the more you meditate seeking god with a burning desire the more you will feel that love in your heart then you will know that love is joy and joy is God excerpts from the book The Divine Romance by paramahansa [Music] Yogananda