if somebody believes they're a failure I don't try to show them how they're going to be a success I show them how failure is going to get them to what they want and then they can decide if they want to continue to be a failure or not so that's a great way to modify an existing pattern I'm going to talk about belief patterns today and I got so much to say on this topic I'll probably shoot many other videos and I think we're just going to scratch the surface on it but belief patterns to me
are the most important thing to understand if you want to create change meaning change inside of yourself so you want to improve a habit meaning change in terms of coaching maybe you're coaching somebody else or you're training someone and you're helping someone so helping them means changing a belief pattern and if you're selling something in business 100 percent one of the most valuable things that you can do is learn how to change a belief pattern and you will sell more people they'll be happier to buy from you and they will get better results so let's
roll up our sleeves get to work let's talk about dealing with belief patterns the first thing is what is a belief pattern a belief pattern is essentially something you've bought into that you now accept pretty much as fact and so imposter syndrome is a very common belief pattern that a majority of successful people have I think 70 percent of professionals suffer from imposter syndrome for a decent chunk of their career where they think oh I'm not really as good as they say I am I'm not really qualified to do the things that I've been qualified
to do by other people and at any moment or any given time somebody's gonna expose me or I'm going to expose myself that is a belief patter the belief pattern is that somehow I'm not good enough no matter what I've achieved and that one day it will all topple down it's a very very Insidious belief pattern very common one and very Insidious at the same time and so until that belief pattern is changed no amount of accomplishment will offset that no amount of achievement will make somebody change that belief pattern right so that's one of
them another one here another common one is I have I I procrastinate all the time so therefore I don't get stuff done careful with that one my friend because the belief pattern is I can't be productive that's essentially what it is the short hand of it the belief is I tend to be lazy and I don't get to do the things that I should be doing and as a result I don't make progress which is absolutely ridiculous I mean I could break that belief pattern down a hundred different ways without even trying it's like do
you procrastinate on your heart beating no do you procrastinate on your eyes blinking no do you procrastinate on breathing no right do you procrastinate on procrastinating no you immediately act on in action you're like what okay okay I'm getting ahead of myself here right and so you could argue with me which is great I want you to start arguing with me because a belief pattern is something you believe to be 100 factual that's why it's called a belief better because you believe it and I just have to introduce enough doubt to crumble the foundation of
that belief pattern for you to be open to adjusting that belief pattern or perhaps even replacing it with something greater because you might come back at me and say well yeah Jason you're talking about automatic processes the biology of breathing and all that stuff okay I go great so can't we build a system where you taking action is as automatic as you breathing and now they say huh wait a second maybe I can and I gotcha I've introduced enough doubt for you to doubt your belief pattern that's all I need to do there uh and
so these are examples I'm showing you breaking and de-linking uh belief patterns but let's talk more about some of the belief patterns first so you can spot them easier because they're so automatic it's easy uh to let them go so you know I suck and I won't try anymore or I suck therefore I'll stay small there's a very common belief pattern I believe money is is the root of all evil so therefore I won't make money or people have to cheat or get lucky in order to make money and I don't want to cheat so
therefore the only way I can make money is if I get lucky and then they might have a a belief that runs parallel to that that says if I get money by being lucky then I don't deserve it because I didn't earn it so by the way if they get it they will self-sabotage this is why most lottery winners go broke very quickly and they end up worse off than they were before they won the lottery because if their belief pattern is built around unworthiness and then they get millions and millions of dollars all that
does is serve to magnify their unworthiness and that's why they end up worse off than they were before their belief pattern is I can't earn money any other way than buying this ticket if that's the case they will self-sabotage to preserve that identity that's been linked to that belief a big belief in and that I've observed a lot of my clients is I'm not worthy therefore I won't ask for it so they don't ask for the things they want in life and guess what they probably don't get them and that's centered around a belief so
you can see hopefully how Insidious some of these belief patterns are by the way most belief patterns are built around limitations I I said this to a client one day on a sales call there was like a hundred people in the room I was trying to sell them all because why not right and one of the clients said to me like hey if I try this and I fail blah blah blah I said to the whole audience I go isn't this interesting nobody has ever in the history of anything I've ever sold to me says
Jason what happens if I buy this product and it works even better than I thought what happens Jason if I buy this product and I make millions of dollars and everything goes right for me on the first try I'm like isn't it interesting that nobody in the history of the thousands of hours of sales calls that I've done has once ever went that way with it they always go the other way what if everything fails what if it all falls apart what if overnight it changes it's like isn't that interesting so our belief patterns are
almost always built around limitations very few people have this belief pattern that says no matter what I will always be safe I will always be safe because I am an infallible Soul as part of God I am the flake of gold from the gold that is God and my soul is eternal so therefore I can never actually be damaged that's some bug of agita stuff for you there right so therefore I'm safe very few people have that belief you you meet a real Sage you need a real prabhupada if you will which is a master
at who others bow their feet at other Masters bow to the feet of this master that's a master of Masters right they have that belief they have the belief that I'm connected to the Divine and so therefore in this world I am indestructible and I transcend the limitations and the pains and sufferings of this world very few people get there man but if they do that's a belief worth holding on to but most of us have our beliefs centered around limitations so at the core of it and again I could speak for hours on this
I would love to create a training program around this and sell it but most people won't buy this kind of stuff this is like the vegetables and the floss this is not like the candy and the chocolate cake that everybody wants here but maybe that's my own limiting belief pattern by the way so that's an interesting one you might want to challenge me on that at the root of it there are only three ways to change a belief pattern you either create a new more compelling pattern in its place you modify an existing pattern or
my favorite which we'll save for last you make the belief pattern collapse in on itself so let's get to work let's talk about the first one uh how do you create a new more compelling pattern uh I'll give you an interesting one creating accountability to a third party is so powerful that it can override your own belief related to your fear of failure because now you've moved outside of yourself so you can still have this belief that I'm afraid to fail but you also have this other contradictive belief which is if I let down my
mentor or if I let down this person that I'm accountable to then I will feel really bad and the fear of failure feels less bad to you than letting down your mentor and so you move forward with it I would probably Skip Leg Day every damn time if it was up to me but I got this personal trainer Glenn leg day's favorite thing man this dude's got an ass that doesn't quit like his glutes have glutes it's it's incredible I sometimes question my sexuality when I'm around the guy he's that well put together uh when
it comes to the rear end and then he loves the program legs and I do them and I hate it and it's miserable and I'm glad when it's done though because the pain of working out on leg day is less to me than the pain of letting down my personal trainer and so that's one of the ways that you can uh deal with a belief pattern is you put something else in contrast to it that is even greater greater in terms of the pain or greater in terms of the contradiction so they say if I
have to only do one of these two things I will do this instead of that this is the hardest way to adjust a belief pattern or to work around a belief pattern it is the most common way but it is also the hardest way so the way that I think about it is in terms of positive distraction ideally I don't want to introduce another pain and then have that pain be greater if you fail to comply but easier for you to comply to I would prefer what I call a positive distraction to change an existing
belief if we're going to go down this route uh is make the light so attractive that you naturally walk away from the darkness as the cells close I used to use I haven't used this one in 13 years I don't think that just came to me right now as we're talking here on this video uh I used to sell do the sales clothes where I said we're going to create a future so bright it's like a painting that you can't help but to look at it and admire it and move towards it that was my
goal to make something so attractive like a picture in a museum I wanted to create their future their possible future if they were to take this program and make it so attractive it'd be like a picture in a museum that they couldn't help but be drawn to and so that's one of the ways that you can deal with a limiting belief pattern is to distract them by a more attractive thing now not a temporary bright shiny object this is why people like bright shiny objects who wouldn't like a bright shiny object it's it's it's alluring
it's exciting it's intoxicating but only for a short while it doesn't have longevity so then they fall back into the old or the old belief pattern this is why creating a new more compelling pattern is very hard to do uh this is why selling somebody on the benefits of quitting smoking usually doesn't work you take a smoker and you say Hey listen let me compete with your your first of all psychological and physical addiction so words versus addiction um probably gonna lose right but also your belief pattern is is I am somebody who smokes on
a regular basis and if I don't smoke I'm in a lot of pain and and that smoking relieves the pain and you try to tell that person you do the old standard shock and all this is why shock and awe doesn't typically work where you say Hey listen here's a lung that somebody that died is smoking that we dissected and here's somebody else that talks through their throat and still smokes through that do you want a future like that and you say of course I don't want a future like that are you going to quit
yes I'm gonna quit and then they go and smoke first thing that is not usually effective trying to create an alternative belief that you want them to buy into instead and especially if you do it on the positive side think about how much more time you'll spend with your kids and how much money you'll save that doesn't work I wish it worked it logically seems to make sense it's like telling somebody who's overweight hey just eat less and exercise more well yeah no doubt Captain Obvious it just doesn't work to create a more compelling belief
powder because I think how much better you'll feel and how much more energy you have uh that's what everybody uses it doesn't work this way it's my least favorite there are times when you should consider it I've given you some some better versions of creating a new more compelling pattern in this video um but don't be the only one that you can use in your toolkit consider the second one modifying an existing pattern I like to use selling as examples because real money's on the line so this validates it very easily does it work or
doesn't it work and I'll tell you it works very often is when I'm selling something fear is the number one objection to anything I ever sell and anything you ever sell probably fear almost always is going to be the biggest objection and not just fear of failure but also fear of success fear of failure is what if I try this and it doesn't work I'll look like an idiot fear of success is what if I try this and it works and now I have all these new responsibilities and that's imposter syndrome right what and then
what if I fail because of My Success what if I can't stand the pressure of the success so oh my God I'm just afraid afraid of everything and that's most people in that situation and so one of the closes that I used to do is I said listen you're still going to be afraid we're just going to put fear in the passenger seat now my question to you is are you going to put a seat belt on it or not that's up to you but we're not going to let fear Drive the vehicle any longer
so we make a slight modification on the existing belief pattern we don't try to get rid of it we don't try to overcome it we slightly modify it another one is somebody says to me I'm super unproductive Jason and I say how do you know when to be unproductive and that's so subtle but what have we done there what we've done there is modified it at a root level this Behavior or this belief pattern that essentially I am out of control it just happens to me I'm just a victim of my own unproductivity and I've
reframed it too you're in control of it when do you know to be unproductive how do you know when to be unproductive I had a client once and he says he says Jason I just I guess I want to be more productive I get to a certain point of day and I just can't be productive anymore and I said how do you know when to stop being productive and he says well what happens is I get to 4 P.M and no matter what I could do I can't work past 4 pm and I started working
with him so I said how would you know the day was productive and what we ended up getting down to and I know that this is going to sound ridiculous to you but it works I got him to see that if he could work till 401 PM then he would consider it productive one more minute because in his mind what happened was productivity meant hours upon hours upon hours and that's why he was stuck I got him to see that if he could just do one extra thing that he couldn't do that day or couldn't
ever do before one extra thing is a net positive that's a win that's being productive and now we've unpacked all this emotion that was attached to this limiting belief that he had and he was willing to have a new belief I I learned this as I've learned most stuff through Milton Erickson uh great hypnotist one of the best of all times he essentially invented conversational hypnosis and he would put somebody under a trance uh he had the shot putter one time that ended up winning I think an Olympic gold medal and shot put and they
were talking about the record and he would say to them hey if you throw a shot put do you really know the difference between 67 feet and 67 feet in one centimeter and the guy would say uh well no I wouldn't know would you know the difference between one centimeter and two centimeters and he said surely you know and he start to expand it over a period of time and over a period of time and over a period of time and that was the power of Ericsson another example that he he gives is if a
kid came to him who was compulsively carrying crosses around with him all the time Ericsson would say why don't we just get a bigger cross why does it have to be across this size if you really like carrying crosses around uh you should get a bigger one so he's modifying the existing pattern he's actually going to collapse it which I'm getting ahead of myself here I'm sorry about that but the idea here is we delink the common response to it by making a very subtle very simple change to it Richard bandler who is also it
just one of the co-creators of NLP was so good at this is he would deal with a schizophrenic at a schizophrenic would say hey I got this problem I watched TV and the people on the TV come to life they jump out of the TV and they follow me around and balance is cool let's put it on the Playboy Channel and the idea of course there is we take we make a slight modification that we take something that somebody believes is bad and we show them a situation where it might not be bad and now
we can start to play with the belief pattern a little bit I was at a seminar and I was speaking and she was in the audience and I was talking about perspective shifts because perspective shift is to my money the number one way to change a belief pattern I have 22 different perspective shifts that I can run through with any client uh that's that's probably a video for another day uh and I I said listen I can break it right now anybody want to volunteer I will I will break a belief pattern right here on
the spot uh with a perspective shift and she raised her hand she says I'll volunteer and I said what's your issue what's your limitation she says my team is not productive I can't get him to be productive and I said well what's your goal she goes I want to make 10 million dollars next year and I said to her I said does your team know that I know this sounds ridiculous right and they didn't know and then I said now that you're hearing it out loud can you see how this is a problem and she
started crying but not in a bad way she started crying in a good way because it was all released this relief to her that it wasn't necessarily A Team problem it wasn't that her team wasn't productive it was a misalignment of communication they were showing up to do these things to try to serve her and she wanted these other things instead and then I was just talking to somebody the other day and they said Hey listen um somebody was still talking about you at this event that I was at about how you did this thing
that completely changed her life and I'm like oh yeah is that so and so they're like yeah that's so and so I'm going oh yeah oh yeah and she's still talking about it many many many many many months later which what amounted to was a three minute conversation of breaking down that belief pattern and again my favorite one is if somebody believes they're a failure I don't try to show them how they're going to be a success I show them how failure is going to get them to what they want and then they can decide
if they want to continue to be a failure or not so that's a great way to modify an existing pattern but now let's talk about my favorite ways the hardest way to do technically speaking at first because it's going to run so counterintuitive to everything you know so you're going to want to hold on to your old schema here and I hope you can do that in vain because if you just are open to a completely different way of thinking right now you'll be amazed at the superpower that you could unlock when you collapse an
existing pattern you let it crumble from within destroy itself a client comes to me one day and he says hey Jason I've tried everything and it didn't work and nothing works I say okay right okay I'll talk to you later so what do you mean I said well you come to me and you told me I tried everything and it doesn't work but what the hell can I do for you you've done everything anything I'm going to tell you you've already done it so I might as well save us both the time and effort I'll
talk to you later goodbye and he's like hold on a second because like I acted like I was gonna hang up he's like whoa wait a second I go okay listen Maybe you haven't tried everything just tell me the top 172 things you've tried and he's like come on Jason you know I haven't done 172 different things like okay really I what I've discovered is when people tell you I've tried everything and it doesn't work they've tried three things uh it's almost always the case maybe four things or maybe five things people would come to
me and just be like ah Jason the world's out to get me I'll be like yeah I know I saw a dog the other day and he had a picture of you that he was carrying with and he's and he and he was looking at it and growling at it I think he's got a hit list with you on it and they're like ah come on now they're the ones that are arguing against their own belief you set up a situation for them to argue against their own belief and that's one of the greatest ways
that you can collapse it use another bandler example his band that would go to these Mental Hospitals and somebody there would think they're Jesus Christ and and bandler tells the story one day of where he starts to bring in uh across and he starts to nail it and he doesn't say anything to the guy right he just brings it up a couple two by fours and he starts to build a cross dude and the guy says what are you doing he said don't worry about it he keeps building the cross building the cross uh and
he starts out he goes okay and he starts to measure the guy's uh wrists and he says starts to place the nails on the cross like make little marks okay this goes here and the guy said what are you doing well you're Jesus and you know what happens to Jesus we crucify it right uh the guys have a hold on a second not Jesus Anymore uh so collapsing the reality because the idea becomes when you go to somebody and you say okay try this cross on try that cross on like Erickson was talking about earlier
well we can make the cross even bigger uh that's when you can destroy it when you make a compulsion and obligation you destroy it that's what I learned from Ericsson when you make a compulsion and obligation you destroy it so he talks about this uh this the story he tells one time when his grandson comes in during a lecture that he's giving and he slams the door and Eric's insists to all these therapists that are listening he says this was my child and I wanted to deal with this Behavior here's what I would do uh
he says I would make them go out and slam the door at different times he said I'd wait till they were doing something they enjoyed and I tell them go out there and slam that door and they'd be like well why go no just go ahead and do it I told you to go do it so go do it be a chore to slam the door it would interrupt other things in their life and the kid would say well why haven't we slammed this door all the time he says well I thought you liked Simon
the door because you did it earlier here uh and now you've made this a chore so the next time the kid gets frustrated even if he goes to want to slam the door he'll think possibly about not slamming the door it becomes an obligation he talks about this other one with a thumb sucker a compulsive thumb sucker and he's like man he says to this girl now Erickson had a way that I don't recommend you model but he says he goes you're really stupid he says to this little girl one day in therapy and it
shocks her he goes he goes you're really stupid because you're wasting your thumb sucking on anybody and everybody if you really want to get under people's skin with the thumbstocking here's what you need to do and he says don't do it to every single teacher only do it to the teachers that really annoy you he brought all the people in on us ahead of time so he told the mom and the dad he says don't say anything when she sucks your thumb in front of you at these periods of time so he's like your dad
loves to read the newspaper after dinner so save your thumb sucking for that point in time to when he's reading his newspaper to really give it to him and when your mom does this so he found out what her mom does that would normally annoy then suck the thumb and now sudden it's not a compulsion anymore it's an obligation it's a chore it has rules I'll give you one more action just for fun patient would come and see Erickson and what happened is you know she would weigh 180 pounds and then she would get down
to her ideal weight 150 and then yo-yo back up to 180 and this pattern had occurred over and over and over again so this creates a belief that if I lose the weight I will only gain it back uh and Erickson makes her first gain weight so she goes from 180 and he makes her go to 200 pounds he gets her to commit first he says I'm going to tell you something but you have to follow it exactly as is and there could be no ifs and buts you have to do it exactly as I
prescribe it and only if you agree with me ahead of time will I tell you what to do and she says yes I will he says you have to get to 200 pounds so as she was getting up to 200 pounds at 190 she says so please I don't want to do it anymore no you have to she gets to 195 pounds please I want to stop and I know you have to 199 it's only a pound nope you got to get to 200 pounds and so what he's done here is he's collapsed this belief
on weight loss being hard because the weight gain now became harder than the weight loss so she never wanted to gain that weight again because it was so miserable of an experience and it was so excruciating and the losing of the weight all of a sudden became so great and it felt so right that she went down and she stayed at that weight so these are all the ways that we can destroy existing limiting beliefs in others if we're selling or if we're a coach and we're training and in with ourselves as well we can
look at some of the beliefs that limit us right now and we can find ways through shifting perspectives and other techniques on de-linking the belief of if this happens then that or if this then I'm that or because I do this therefore I am that those are all make believe every belief is a made-up thing so we might as well update some of our beliefs and make them up in ways that better service today right now so try that on let me know how that works for you I'll see you in the next video [Music]
