Live for yourself not for others stoicism the greatest wealth is to live content with little Plato welcome to stoic in your life have you ever felt like your life is being controlled by what others think we live in a world that constantly pushes us to seek approval but does that really lead to happiness in today today's episode we'll dive into the power of stoic philosophy live for yourself not for others the stoics believe that all of life's problems stem from our obsession with others opinions but what if the key to True freedom and peace is
letting go of the need for validation join us as we explore how you can apply this Timeless principle to your daily life and discover how to live authentically and find true fulfillment one the root of unhappiness fear of being disliked in the fast-paced world we live in many men especially those in their 40s to 70s are often Burdened by an invisible weight the fear of being disliked this constant worry about what others think can become a suffocating force in our lives pulling us further away from true happiness and peace as the Japanese philosophers chiro kishimi
and fumitaka Koga suggest this fear of disapproval is the root cause of much of our unhappiness when we become too focused on how others perceive us we lose touch with our own desires values and identity we are constantly trying to fit into boxes that are defined by external standards and in doing so we fail to live authentically the stoics knew this very well Marcus Aurelius one of the greatest stoic philosophers wisely stated the opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about me in other words your worth should never
be determined by the opinions of others but by the strength of your own character this is a Timeless lesson that resonates now more than ever when you worry too much about others opinions you place your happiness in their hands it's no longer about your values your goals or your happiness it becomes about how you can appear to others every Decision every action is measured against what others might think but herein lies the problem external worry concern about what others think is inherently unstable people change their opinions circumstances shift and judgments vary as a result when
your happiness depends on these things it is fragile and fleeting senica the stoic philosopher recognized this when he wrote we suffer more in imagination than in reality we often imagine the worst case scenarios rejection criticism or judgment without considering that the reality is far less dire the more you allow this external worry to control you the more you distance yourself from inner peace it's a cycle of anxiety that traps you in a NeverEnding pursuit of validation in Modern Life this plays out in social media workplace d Dynamics and personal relationships where appearances often take precedence
over authenticity the more we care about likes or approval the more we lose touch with what truly matters our own inner truth the key to Breaking Free from this cycle of external worry is to embrace the concept of Freedom through dislike in stoic philosophy Freedom is not just about physical Independence but about mental autonomy when you no longer fear being disliked or judged by others you gain the ability to live freely according to your own values and desires as epicus another stoic thinker famously said freedom is the only thing you cannot have unless you give
it to others what he meant by this is that true freedom is found in releasing the hold that others opinions have over you when you no longer seek approval you can make decisions that align with your true self without the weight of judgment living authentically without fear of disapproval is the ultimate form of courage it's not easy especially for men who have spent years building their lives around external expectations but it is necessary if we are to experience real freedom and inner peace when you are not afraid to be disliked you can pursue the life
you truly want without compromise this is where the courage to be disliked comes into play it takes a certain strength to stand firm in your values and desires even if it means upsetting the status quo or disappointing others this courage is not about being Reckless or inconsiderate but about Having the conviction to live according to what is right for you regardless of external judgment the stoics taught that what others think of you is none of your business their disapproval does not diminish your worth or your integrity what is not good for the Beehive cannot be
good for the bee Marcus Aurelius reminds us in other words your life is is yours to live and you must ensure that your actions align with your own principles not someone else's expectations this idea of freedom through dislike has profound implications in Modern Life Today many people especially men of your age are conditioned to seek approval whether it's from family colleagues or Society at large this can lead to a life of constant compromise where you never fully embrace your true potential because you're too busy trying to con form but the moment you stop fearing disapproval
you open the door to true self-expression you begin to live on your terms not according to the fleeting whims of others it's a liberating feeling it's about doing what feels right not what others expect or demand from you when you let go of the fear of being disliked You stop living in reaction to others and start living intentionally based on your values and aspirations the pressure of maintaining a facade Fades away and in its place a sense of calm and Clarity emerges living for yourself not for others is not selfish it is an act of
self-respect it is only by being true to ourselves that we can live a life that is truly fulfilling when we give up the need for validation from others we can finally experience the freedom that stoics like epicus and Marcus Aurelius advocated it is a freedom that allows us to live authentically to act with purpose and to cultivate a deeper sense of inner peace so take this wisdom into your daily life stop fearing judgment stop living for others approval and start living for yourself in doing so you will unlock a life of true Freedom contentment and
peace two Adler's influence on happiness and personal goals have you ever wondered why some some people seem so fulfilled and others struggle to find happiness despite having similar circumstances the answer May lie in something much deeper than External conditions it's in the goals we set for ourselves Alfred Adler the renowned psychologist once said the only normal people are the ones you don't know very well this highlights an important insight into human nature we are all driven by our individual goals consciously or unconsciously and these goals are the force that shapes our emotions our actions and
ultimately our happiness when you pursue a goal whether it's to achieve success in your career build meaningful relationships or even develop a particular skill your focus and your energy are directed toward that objective but here's the catch the goals you set even the ones you're not fully aware of are the blueprint for the way you experience life every action you take is Guided by the goals you've internalized and those goals consciously or subconsciously are shaping your happiness or frustration in life this is more relevant than ever look around many people set goals that are defined
by what others expect of them rather than what they truly want for themselves how often do you hear someone talk about their dreams in terms of society's standards I want to make more money I need a bigger house Or I should have a more prestigious job while these may seem like legitimate goals what they often reflect are societal pressures rather than personal desires what would happen if you stopped living according to these external expectations and started Living for your own personal goals would you feel more fulfilled more content with your life Adler's ideas tell us
that the goals we set whether they are driven by others or by ourselves directly influence our emotions and behavior the problem is that many people set goals that are rooted in fear or in trying to meet the expectations of others rather than in creating a life that aligns with their true desires edler's Theory goes even further by suggesting that the way we respond to challenges and setbacks is deeply tied to the goals we've chosen to pursue have you ever noticed that some people seem to bounce back from failure While others get stuck in despair this
reaction is often linked to how firmly they goals align with their inner values if your goal is to impress others or to seek validation from external sources setbacks can feel devastating but if your goals are grounded In your own values and desires failure becomes an opportunity for growth not a reflection of your worth take a moment and ask yourself what drives you is it the approval of others or is it a deeper more personal sense of fulfillment Adler would argue that when you start aligning your goals with your own sense of purpose you begin to
shift your emotional responses instead of reacting to life with anxiety and frustration you begin to approach challenges with resilience and a sense of meaning this shift is where true happiness Begins the goals we set are not just markers of success they are The Architects of our happiness when we consciously choose goals that are aligned with our true values and desires we are able to live a life that feels fulfilling and authentic however this doesn't always happen by accident often our habits our emotional responses and even the way we react to Life's challenges are shaped by
the goals we've unconsciously adopted these may have been influenced by societal Norms Family expectations or past experiences if we haven't consciously chosen our goals we may find ourselves living in a way that doesn't truly Satisfy us constantly striving for something that doesn't resonate with our core values Adler's psychology teaches us that we can choose our goals and in doing so we can take control of our happiness this process requires reflection introspection and the courage to ask ourselves hard questions what do I truly want what kind of Life do I want to live what goals will
bring me true fulfillment not just temporary satisfaction or approval from others it is through this process that we begin to understand understand that our lifestyle is a choice a reflection of the goals we have chosen whether we realize it or not when we take ownership of our goals we take ownership of our happiness in stoic philosophy there is a strong emphasis on controlling what we can our own actions thoughts and responses and letting go of what we cannot control such as the opinions of others this concept is beautifully summed up by epicus who said if
it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters our emotional responses to life are shaped by our goals if we set goals that reflect our true self we will be better equipped To respond to Life's challenges with equinity and resilience by making the conscious choice to live for ourselves not for others we set goals that are truly meaningful and in doing so we unlock the potential for a life of genuine happiness so I ask you to reflect on your own life what goals have you set for yourself are they your
goals or are they shaped by what others expect of you the beauty of Adler's psychology and of stoic philosophy is that we are always in control of our path by making conscious decisions about the goals we pursue we can take charge of our own happiness and live a life that is truly our own the journey starts with you embrace your goals align them with your True Values and you will find a life filled with purpose fulfillment and peace three The Power of Choice and responsibility many people believe that their past experiences especially the painful ones
dictate their future but here's the truth nothing from your past can determine who you are right now it's the meaning you assign to those experiences how you interpret them that shapes the person you Are today in the words of the stoic philosopher epicus it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters think about that for a moment your past however difficult or painful is only part of your story it doesn't have to be the chapter that defines your life you have the power to choose how you respond to your experiences
and how you allow them to shape your future the Power of Choice and responsibility is what makes you free it gives you the ability to decide who you want to be regardless of what happened in the past the past is a collection of memories and those memories do not need to control your present or your future unless you let them we often feel the weight of our experiences don't we it's easy to let past mistakes or hurts become a kind of baggage that we drag around shaping how we see the world and ourselves maybe there
was a time when you failed at something important and you let that failure Define your selfworth or perhaps there was a betrayal or a loss that you can't seem to move on from but here's a liberating truth you are not your past you are who you choose to be today and this is one of the most powerful Lessons from stoicism self-determination no matter what has happened to you you always have the power to choose your response and your mindset Victor Frankle the psychiatrist and Holocaust Survivor famously said between stimulus and response there is a space
in that space is our power to choose our response in our response lies our growth and our freedom the key to living a fulfilled life is to realize that we always have the ability to choose how we respond to Life's challenges and it's this choice that determines our happiness and peace of mind living in the present moment is one of the most crucial aspects of personal freedom how often do we find ourselves caught up in regrets about the past or anxieties about the future we spend so much time either wishing we could change what is
already happened or worrying about what might happen that we forget the only moment that truly exists is now the stoics understood this well Marcus Aurelius the Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher wrote you have power over your mind not outside events realize this and you will find strength what this means is that the past is gone and the future is uncertain but The present the present is where you can take action this is where your power lies it's easy to feel trapped by the past or overwhelmed by what's to come but when you choose to focus
on the present moment you free yourself from that burden it's not about denying your past or ignoring the future it's about recogn iing that you have the ability to make choices now that can shape your happiness no matter what has happened before so what does this mean for you right now how can you start taking responsibility for your life today no matter what has happened to you in the past it begins with understanding that you have the power to choose you might not be able to change the things that have happened to you but you
can always choose how you move forward this means consciously deciding what you want from life and what kind of person you want to be every choice you make today can either be rooted in your past fears regrets or trauma or it can be rooted in the vision of who you want to become the decision is yours it's like a blank canvas every new day gives you the opportunity to create something new to write a new chapter In your life story don't let the weight of past experiences keep you from stepping into your TR true power
once we acknowledge it once we realize that we are the ones who assign meaning to our experiences we gain back the power to change it's not about forgetting the past it's about learning from it and using it to fuel a better future your life is not defined by what has happened to you it's defined by how you choose to respond to what happens the great stoic philosopher senica once said we suffer more often in imag ination than in reality how often do we imagine worst case scenarios based on our past experiences how often do we
assume that because something went wrong before it will go wrong again but in reality each moment is a new opportunity for growth for Change and for Action your power lies in how you choose to face each moment in the fast-paced often overwhelming world we live in it's easy to get caught up in the chaos of past regret or future fears but the power to live authentically with peace and fulfillment comes from choosing to live in the present to take responsibility for your choices and to recognize that no matter what has Happened before you have the
power to shape your life today it's not about ignoring the lessons from the past it's about choosing to learn from them and move forward with intention The Power of Choice Is What Makes Us free by living consciously in the Pres we free ourselves from the chains of past trauma and future anxiety and when we choose to live authentically in alignment with our values and goals we find a life that is truly worth living remember you are not a prisoner of your past you are the creator of your present embrace the freedom that comes with taking
full responsibility for your choices and take that responsibility seriously in doing so you will unlock a life of meaning purpose and happiness that is yours to create the past is behind you the future is Unwritten and the power to shape your life is in your hands today four the danger of seeking external approval seeking approval from others is something many of us can relate to especially in a world that's constantly pushing us to measure up to the expectations of others from a young age We are conditioned to seek validation from those around us whether it's
teachers parents friends or Society at large how many times have you made decisions based on what others might think of you maybe it was choosing a career path to make your parents proud or buying a house to impress your neighbors these decisions while they may seem harmless at first can lead to a pattern of living for everyone else's approval rather than your own happiness this constant need for validation this external approval is a heavy burden as the great stoic philosopher epicus once said it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that
matters the problem with seeking external approval is that you are giving away your power allowing others to determine your happiness you're handing the steering wheel of your life to someone else and that will inevitably lead to frustration disappointment and unhappiness approval is a false goal you may find temporary satisfaction in receiving validation but it is short-lived it's like chasing a shadow no matter how hard you try it keeps slipping away the more you seek it the further Out Of Reach it becomes this is exactly What kashimi and Koga argue in their work on personal freedom
and happiness they explain that the pursuit of approval is an endless chase that restricts freedom and prevents us from living a authentically when we Chase others approval we are essentially telling ourselves that we're not enough as we are we are giving more weight to their opinions than to our own sense of self-worth this is a trap and it's one that many of us fall into without even realizing it but when we stop seeking approval we free ourselves to live life on our own terms it's a profound shift in mindset that changes the way we approach
everything from relationships to Career to personal happiness the pursuit of approval is a never-ending cycle that only leaves us feeling more and more dissatisfied but the pursuit of authenticity of living in alignment with your true self brings lasting peace and fulfillment living for others approval means sacrificing your freedom it means choosing the path others have laid out for you rather than the path that resonates with your own heart and soul when you live according to the standards of others you are no longer living for yourself you Are living for them this is the very essence
of what stoicism teaches that our happiness and inner peace depend not on external circumstances or the approval of others but on our own choices and actions the stoics believed in living according to nature which means living authentically and in alignment with your values not trying to fit into a mold created by Society or others Marcus aelius the Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher wisely said the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts if you are constantly seeking approval then your happiness is at the mercy of external forces your thoughts your actions and
your decisions become clouded by the desire to please others rather than by what is truly important to you this leads to a life that is disconnected from who you are at your core let me ask you have you ever made a choice simply to gain the approval of others maybe it was agreeing to something you didn't want to do or pursuing a goal that wasn't yours to begin with in those moments you might have felt a temporary sense of relief when you received praise or approval but deep down did you feel truly fulfilled did it
Bring you lasting happiness probably not this is the danger of seeking external approval it doesn't lead to Lasting fulfillment and it certainly doesn't bring true Freedom the only way to find genuine happiness is to stop living according to the standards of others and start living according to your own when you begin to make decisions based on your own values your own beliefs and your own vision for your life that's when you will experience true freedom freedom from the opinions and judgments of others and freedom to be your authentic self in today's world this might sound
easier said than done after all we live in a society that constantly encourages us to compare ourselves to others to follow the trends to keep up with what everyone else is doing social media for example can make it feel like everyone else is living their best life while we're stuck feeling like we don't measure up but the truth is no one else can Define your happiness for you you are the master of your fate the captain of your soul as William Ernest Henley famously wrote in his poem and the stoics would agree when you give
away your power to seek others approval you are no longer The master of your own life you are at the mercy of their judgments and expectations but when you learn to live authentically when you choose to follow your own path you reclaim your power you create a life that is in harmony with who you truly are not who you think others want you to be so what does it mean to live for yourself and not for others it means Having the courage to make decisions that reflect your own values even if they don't align with
what others expect of you it means not being afraid to say no when something doesn't serve you even if it disappoints someone else it means learning to trust your own instincts and to value your own happiness over the fleeting approval of others remember that seeking approval is an endless Pursuit a path that will never lead you to True Freedom or lasting happiness but when you live authentically when you make choices based on your own beliefs and desires you will find a sense of peace and contentment that is far more fulfilling than any external validation could
ever provide the danger of seeking approval is that it traps us in a cycle of NeverEnding self-doubt it makes us Dependent on the opinions of others for our self-worth but the power to be free to live your life on your own terms lies in the courage to step away from the crowd to stop seeking approval and to start living authentically you've just unlocked a new way of thinking if you're ready to start living for yourself yourself and stop seeking approval from others comment I'm living for me below let's support each other as we grow into
our true selves this is just the beginning five why external approval is a dead end seeking external approval is like trying to catch the wind it's impossible and yet so many of us spend our entire lives running after it hoping that one day we'll finally feel good enough from the moment we're born society and the people around us teach us to seek validation we're told that we need to meet certain expectations whether from our parents teachers friends or even strangers the problem is these expectations are not only unrealistic but also completely beyond our control how
many times have you felt the pressure to act in a certain way to meet someone Else's standards or to fit into a mold that never quite felt right you chase approval from others because at some point you were taught that your worth comes from how others see you but here's the harsh truth approval is an illusion the pursuit of approval is an unattainable goal the more you seek it the more elusive it becomes think about it for a moment when was the last time you received validation from someone and truly felt satisfied did that approval
last or was it quickly replaced by the need for more seeking approval is a trap that pulls you deeper into frustration fear and emotional pain you might get a momentary boost when you receive praise but it's fleeting it doesn't fill the void it just leaves you craving more you might have experienced this in your own life perhaps in your career relationships or Social Circles you make an effort to please others to conform but no matter how hard you try it never seems to be enough this cycle of constantly seeking external approval takes a heavy toll
on your mental well-being it forces you to put on a mask to become a version of yourself that others want rather than embracing who you truly Are but the more you chase after that approval the more you get caught up in a never-ending race one that never leads to fulfillment it is not that we have a short time to live but that we waste a lot of it said senica we waste our time trying to gain approval that will never bring us the peace we seek now let's talk about the result of giving up on
seeking approval you might think that the moment you decide to stop seeking approval from others you will instantly feel liberated like you found freedom but here's the thing letting go of the pursuit of approval doesn't automatically release you from the Dee rooted desire for validation it's like you've taken the weight off off your shoulders but there's still a part of you that longs to be seen and recognized you're still caught in the cycle just in a different way even if you stop seeking validation from others you might still look inward for it judging your own
worth based on arbitrary standards or the opinions of the people around you this is where the real struggle lies learning to break free from the need for external validation not just from others but from yourself as well The craving for approve runs deep but the key to True Freedom lies in learning to Value yourself independently of others judgments think about how often you've lived your life trying to live up to others expectations maybe it's been the approval of your parents that you sought for years or the desire to impress a colleague or a group of
friends or perhaps it's been societal standards of success those invisible rules that tell us what we should achieve how we should behave or what we should look like you might have worked tirelessly made sacrifices and bent over backward trying to get those external validations external validation is like sugar it provides a quick hit of pleasure but it's ultimately Hollow it leaves you craving more but never fully satisfied so why do we keep pursuing it it's because Society has conditioned us to believe that approval equals worth but the truth is your worth has nothing to do
with what others think of you you are enough as you are right now in this moment you don't need to chase after approval to prove that to yourself when you stop seeking approval from others you might fear being judged criticized or Even rejected but here's the truth rejection and judgment are part of life and they don't Define your worth in fact they're often a reflection of the other person's fears and insecurities not your own the great stoic philosopher epicus reminds us wealth can consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants in the
same way true freedom and happiness lie not in having the approval of others but in needing less of it when you let go of the need for external validation you free yourself from the burden of trying to please everyone you stop measuring your worth by others standards and start living according to your own values that's where true happiness lies living authentically without the constant need for approval or validation it's about choosing to live for yourself not for anyone else what would your life look like if you stopped seeking approval from others how much energy would
you save how much more peace would you have if you stopped measuring your worth by others opinions would you feel lighter more confident more free this is what stoicism teaches us the key to happiness is not in seeking approval but in Embracing your own authenticity regardless of what anyone else thinks let go of the need for approval and you'll find the freedom to live life on your terms the pursuit of external approval is a dead end and it's only by stopping that endless chase that you'll discover the peace and fulfillment you've been searching for all
along as the stoics would say it's only when we stop looking for validation outside of ourselves that we can truly find peace within so let go of the Chase live for yourself not for others and find the true freedom that comes from embracing your authentic self six the effects of seeking approval on relationships the Quest for approval is a silent poison that seeps into our relationships turning what should be meaningful supportive connections into a battlefield of comparison and competition when we constantly seek validation from others it often results in US seeing relationships not as Partnerships
but as Zero Sum games what do I mean by that well in a zero sum game one person's gain is automatically seen as another's loss think about how you might feel when a friend Colleague or loved one achieves something you've always wanted instead of feeling joy for their success there's an inner stirring of resentment or Envy you might even catch yourself wondering why did they get that I deserve it more this is what happened happens when we seek approval from others we start viewing their success as a threat to our own it's as if the
approval and validation we so desperately crave is limited and there's only so much to go around but in reality this mindset is nothing more than a self-imposed prison the stoics believed in the power of perspective and as epicus famously said it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters in relationships this mindset can make all the difference the moment we start comparing ourselves to others we lose sight of the true value of connection rather than celebrating a friend's success we might find ourselves filled with bitterness or jealousy have you ever
found yourself in that position unable to truly celebrate someone else's achievement because you're too busy wondering why it wasn't yours it's a toxic cycle and the only one it harms is you this jealousy and resentment born from insecurity And the desperate need for external validation create a rift between people instead of deepening bonds we weaken them unable to truly connect because we're too focused on competing for that elusive approval and it's not just jealousy that arises from this it's also a subtle but growing sense of resentment why do we feel resentment in relationships because seeking
approval often breeds a sense of entitlement think about it when you perform perform an act of kindness help someone or go out of your way for a friend or loved one do you expect something in return maybe you don't say it outright but inside you're hoping that your effort will be acknowledged rewarded or reciprocated this is the Trap of entitlement and it's something that becomes even more toxic when we constantly seek approval from others we start expecting that the same validation we give to others should be reflected back to us and when it's not we
feel hurt disrespected or overlooked in fact we may even begin to feel betrayed as if the other person isn't holding up their end of the bargain this creates a breeding ground for further resentment and the emotional distance Between two people continues to grow entitlement is a dangerous feeling in relationships and it's a byproduct of putting too much stock in what others think of you if you're constantly looking for validation your likely to find yourself expecting more from the people around you the greatest wealth is to live content with little said Plato and yet when we
seek approval we unknowingly become wealth Seekers always wanting more than we have and in doing so we diminish the joy that could come from Simply being instead of focusing on building deeper more genuine relationships we focus on transactional exchanges I did this for you so you should do this for me but true relationships whether friendships family bonds or romantic Partnerships are not about keeping score they are about mutual respect understanding and unconditional support when you stop seeking approval you start giving freely without expecting anything in return and it's only in that freedom that real meaningful
connections are formed the pursuit of approval doesn't just impact you on an individual level it ripples out into every relationship you have it skews The way you view others and the way they view you instead of building bonds based on Mutual trust empathy and care you might inadvertently turn them into competitions or emotional transactions and when those expectations aren't met the relationship suffers and you're left feeling resentful disconnected and unhappy in fact this cycle can spiral as unresolved resentment tends to breed more negativity causing further emot pain for both parties involved the real danger of
seeking approval is that it erodes the authenticity of your relationships relationships should be spaces where you can be yourself without fear of judgment or the need to prove anything but when we're constantly seeking approval we start changing who we are to fit the mold of what others expect from us and in doing so we lose sight of who we truly are this leads to a kind of emotional exhaustion where we're living not for our our El but for others a story many of us can relate to a man Works tirelessly in his career hoping that
his success will be noticed and validated by his peers his family and even Society At large he pushes himself harder staying late at the office sacrificing time with loved ones and suppressing his own needs over time he gains recognition but it's never enough his success is always followed by a sense of emptiness because it's built on the fragile Foundation of external approval in the process his relationships with his family suffer because they feel neglected and his friendships become strained because he is no longer present always chasing that next Accolade the man is trapped in a
cycle of seeking approval unable to experience the joy of living authentically he's living for others not for himself so what can we learn from this the key lesson is to break free from the need for validation and approval start by acknowledging that your worth is not tied to the opinions of others you are enough just as you are when you Embrace this truth your relationships transform they become less about expectations and more about genuine supportive connections you start valuing people for who they are not for what they can give you in return you stop competing
for approval and start living for yourself and in doing so you free Yourself from the emotional weight of jealousy resentment and entitlement when you let go of the need for external validation you create the space for real authentic relationships to Blossom relationships where you can give without expecting support without conditions and Love Without Limits seven the alternative living for yourself living for yourself doesn't mean being selfish or disregarding the needs of others it means understanding your worth choosing your path with intention and acting in ways that align with your core values not the expectations of
the world around you when you live for yourself you stop seeking constant approval and validation from others you stop comparing your achievements to those around you and start measuring your life by your own standards this shift is crucial because it liberates you from the exhausting and ultimately empty pursuit of external validation as the stoic philosopher Epictetus wisely said it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters this perfectly encapsulates the stoic idea that happiness comes from within and is based On our reactions and choices not the judgments or opinions of
others people who are content with their lives regardless of external circumstances have learned to prioritize in internal fulfillment over external approval they find happiness by aligning their actions with their values which creates a life of authenticity and personal freedom in contrast many of us are trapped in the cycle of seeking approval where our worth is defined by what others think of us this might be a family member's approval a boss's recognition or the social approval of a community or culture but as we seek approval we also become more vulnerable to disappointment and resentment have you
ever found yourself seeking validation only to realize that even when you get it it doesn't feel as fulfilling as you hoped that's because the approval of others is fleeting it's dependent on circumstances and people's opinions which are constantly changing and often beyond our control but when you stop seeking approval when you start living for yourself you free yourself from the emotional ups and downs that come with trying to meet other people's expectations Instead you focus on what truly matters to you and contribute to the world in a way that feels meaningful now let's talk about
the joy of contribution true happiness in many ways comes from contributing to the well-being of others not from receiving validation for it but from knowing that your efforts have made a real positive impact this is the Paradox of fulfillment the more you focus on helping others without expecting anything in return the more you end up feeling happy and content the stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius believed that we are all part of a greater whole and that our purpose is to contribute to the good of others he said what is not good for the Beehive cannot be
good for the bee when we help others we align ourselves with this greater purpose we stop viewing people in situations as obstacles or threats to our success and we start seeing them as opportunities to serve help and make difference the more you give without expecting anything in return the more you realize how much joy comes from living a life that is useful to others when you helped them how did you feel the satisfaction that comes from being useful from Knowing you made someone's day a little bit easier or a little brighter is a kind of
happiness that no amount of external validation can provide this is the difference between living for approval and living for purpose when you live for yourself you align with your deeper values and your sense of worth doesn't come from external sources but from knowing that you are making a difference in the lives of others it is this internal satisfaction that creates a life of contentment and peace another important element of living for yourself is self- validation too many people depend on others to tell them they are valuable but the truth is no one else can Define
your worth you are valuable simply because you exist you don't need to seek approval from others to know that you matter when you rely on others for validation you give away your power you become dependent on their opinions and this can make you feel anxious unsure and insecure but when you validate yourself you tap into an inner strength and confidence that no one can take away from you as the stoic philosopher senica Put it true happiness is to enjoy the present without anxious dependence upon the future by accepting yourself and knowing that you are enough
you become free to live authentically and in alignment with your own values living for yourself means knowing that your worth is intrinsic not contingent on others approval it means embracing your flaws and strengths alikee and taking responsibility for your actions your happiness and your life's Direction This is not to say that we should ignore others entirely but rather that we should stop seeking their validation to feel good about ourselves when you live for yourself you stop worrying about how others perceive you and instead you start focusing on how you can be the best version of
yourself whether or not anyone else notices this doesn't mean being indifferent to others it means choosing to live authentically without fear of judgment this philosophy is especially important in today's world where social media and societal expectations often reinforce the idea that we must live up to certain standards to be worthy we are constantly bombarded with images of success Beauty Wealth and status but these external markers of worth are Illusions the people you see on social media posting their perfect lives are often just as insecure as the rest of us constantly seeking approval and validation in
Practical terms living for yourself means making decisions that align with your values even when they go against the grain it means prior prioritizing your happiness and well-being over the approval of others and it means letting go of the need for constant external validation one of the most freeing things you can do is to stop worrying about what others think of you instead focus on what truly brings you Joy and fulfillment find purpose in helping others contribute meaningfully to the world and embrace the satisfaction that comes from knowing you've made a positive difference self- validation isn't
about arrogance it's about self-acceptance when you live authentically you build a life based on inner strength and peace not on the shifting opinions of others living for yourself then isn't about being selfish or isolated it's about knowing your value prioritizing your well-being and contributing to the world in Meaningful ways when you live authentically free from the need for approval you create a life of true happiness one that's built on the found Foundation of self-worth contribution and purpose eight self-acceptance and confidence in a world where success is often measured by achievements appearances and approval from others
it's easy to forget that our true worth doesn't come from these external markers imagine for a moment what it would feel like to walk through life knowing you are enough just as you are without needing to prove anything to anyone this sense of self-acceptance is one of the most powerful keys to happiness stoic philosophy teaches us that our worth is inherent that we are valuable simply by being human and that no amount of external validation can determine our true value as the stoic philosopher epicus wisely said it's not what happens to you but how you
react to it that matters this Insight reveals a profound truth our self-worth isn't determined by what others think of us but by how we choose to view ourselves the key to building true confidence and Happiness lies in embracing this idea accepting ourselves fully flaws and all and knowing that we are worthy regardless of external circumstances it's important to recognize that happiness doesn't come from having the perfect career the perfect relationships or the Perfect Image in the eyes of others happiness comes from a deep sense of inner peace that stems from understanding and accepting your own
value many people especially in a world driven by social media and societal expectations spend years sometimes an entire lifetime seeking approval and external validation but when you live seeking approval from others you are constantly at the mercy of their judgments no matter how much you achieve there will always be someone who thinks you can do better someone who has higher standards or someone who expects more from you this cycle of seeking validation is not only exhausting but it's also limiting it ties your happiness to someone else's opinion and that opinion is Ever Changing in contrast
people who cultivate self-acceptance know their worth does not fluctuate with the opinions of others they do not rely on external validation to feel confident Their confidence comes from within from the simple truth that they are enough as they are think about people in your life who are truly confident are they the ones always chasing approval or are they the ones who seem comfortable in their own skin no matter what others think more often than not it's the latter they've learned the art of self-acceptance and in doing so they've found the freedom to live authentically without
constantly seeking validation when we stop depending on others approval to feel good about ourselves we begin to realize that we don't need to live up to anyone's standards but our own you don't need to win a competition receive a promotion or get a compliment to know your worth your value is inherent simply because you are a human being with unique talents experiences and perspectives take a moment to reflect on how much time and energy you've spent trying to gain approval whether from parents peers colleagues or Society wasn't that feeling of self-acceptance one of the most
powerful and liberating experiences this is the power of self- validation it allows you to stand firm in your own worth regardless of what others Think or say it frees you from the constant cycle of trying to meet external expectations instead you can focus on what really matters to you what aligns with your values and what brings you peace living without the need for external validation also means you can start living more authentically when you stop chasing approval you open yourself up to being more real with yourself and others you are no longer living in the
shadow of what others want you to be you can begin to live in alignment with who you truly are you start making decisions that reflect your true desires and goals not those dictated by the fear of what others might think this leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment because you are no longer acting to please others but to honor your own path and when you begin to live authentically you begin to attract people who appreciate you for who you are not for the mask you wear the more you accept yourself the more others will be
drawn to your genuine self and the more you'll be able to build relationships that are based on mutual respect and understanding not on the need for validation another key aspect of self-acceptance Is recognizing that happiness doesn't come from achieving more but from realizing you are enough right now we often fall into the Trap of thinking if I just get that promotion or that new car or that ideal relationship I'll be happy but happiness is not a future goal it's a present State when you constantly seek happiness in the future you miss the joy that can
be found in the present moment self-acceptance is the practice of enjoying life as it is accepting where you are right now and knowing that you are enough this doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to improve yourself or work towards your goals in fact self acceptance helps you do so from a place of empowerment not from a place of insecurity or lack when you accept yourself as you are you give yourself the freedom to pursue what truly matters to you without feeling the need to prove anything to anyone the road to self-acceptance is not always easy we
live in a world that constantly pushes us to compare ourselves to others to prove our worth and to seek approval from those around us but this path leads to nothing but frustration because as long as you depend on others to tell You your worth you'll always be at the mercy of their judgments instead embrace the freedom that comes from knowing that your worth is not contingent on anyone's approval you are valuable simply because you exist you don't need external validation to feel worthy you don't need to chase after approval because your value is inherent and
Timeless when you stop seeking others approval and start living in alignment with your own values you find a freedom and joy that is far more lasting and fulfilling the power to live authentically is in your hands if you're committed to putting these stoic principles into action and creating a life of true happiness leave a yes I choose freedom in the comments keep pushing forward the journey to a more fulfilling life is just getting started nine living in the present and enjoying life in a world where so many of us are taught to chase the future
whether it's the next promotion the next big purchase or the next Milestone we often forget that true happiness isn't a destination it's a journey what would happen if we stopped chasing after distant goals and started Focusing on the here and now the stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts this means that happiness is not something that happens to us when we achieve certain things or aain certain Milestones it's something we create in the present moment through the thoughts we choose to focus on so what
would it look like for you to embrace this idea to focus not on what's to come but on what's happening right now for many of us the temptation to live in the future is strong we're conditioned to think that when we reach a particular goal we'll Finly feel fulfilled that the next big thing will be the key to happiness but in doing so we miss out on the most important aspect of life the present moment imagine for a moment that your life is a series of tiny fleeting moments each one offering an opportunity for joy
and peace when you spend your time waiting for the next big thing you miss those moments the ones that could bring you genuine happiness if only you were paying attention kishimi and Koga in their work on happiness suggest that the ability to choose Happiness is always in our hands regardless of the circumstances around us happiness doesn't depend on external achievements or validations it is in fact a choice we make just think about it when you're caught up in the Whirlwind of life always moving towards something in the future it's easy to forget that happiness isn't
something to be earned it's something to be experienced right now there is always a choice in every moment to focus on what's good what's beautiful and what's meaning ful no matter the external situation and let me ask you how often do you find yourself dwelling on the future thinking that only after achieving something you'll finally be content What If instead you decided to be content now without any external reason simply because you are alive because you are breathing and because you have the opportunity to experience this very moment isn't that in itself a source of
happiness when you start living in the present you begin to realize that the true Joy of life isn't in the distant future nor in any one achievement it's in the small seemingly insignificant moments that make up your day think about a time when you Were fully present maybe it was during a simple conversation with a friend enjoying a meal with your family or walking outside in nature in those moments you weren't concerned with the next thing on your to-do list or the next promotion at work you were simply living experiencing and enjoying life the happiness
you felt then wasn't linked to a future goal it was rooted in the present moment Marcus Aurelius reminds us the present moment is all we ever have and in this truth we can find Freedom when we focus on the here and now when we take a deep breath and appreciate the life we're living right now we begin to see the world with fresh eyes full of potential full of beauty and full of meaning living for the present moment also means finding meaning in the everyday mundane aspects of life it's easy to think that happiness can
only be found in major accomplishments in big successes or in grand gestures but real Joy is often tucked away in the simple things the warmth of a morning cup of coffee the sound of a loved one's voice the act of being present with yourself true happiness comes not from the the future or from far off achievements but from The ability to find meaning in each moment the stoics understood this well they taught that happiness is not something that can be gained from external circumstances but from the internal attitude we adopt toward Life by focusing on
the present by finding purpose and meaning in our daily activities we align ourselves with the very essence of what it means to be human the Journey of life is not about reaching some distant goal or accumulating more things it's about finding meaning connection and joy in the present moment in every day there are opportunities to experience happiness not because of something you achieve but because of the way you approach life when you choose to focus on the now when you allow yourself to be fully present the journey becomes your reward it's easy to be swept
away by the pressures of work relationships or the demands of daily life but true contentment comes when we make the conscious choice to live for today to enjoy the journey rather than just the destination the idea of living in the present isn't just a philosophy it's a practice it's about cultivating the habit of focusing on the Moment of appreciating the small things and of finding joy in the now life doesn't wait for us to be ready and happiness doesn't wait for the next big event it's here now and every moment now 10 courage to be
disliked in a world where we are constantly bombarded with messages that tell us how we should look what we should do and how we should behave it can be incredibly difficult to stay true to who we are the desire to be liked to fit in and to be accepted by others is a natural instinct but if we base our sense of worth on the approval of others we risk losing sight of our true selves the stoic philosopher epicus said it's not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters this idea holds
an incredibly powerful lesson how we respond to the dislike or criticism of others shapes our inner peace and happiness it's easy to fall into the Trap of believing that our value is tied to what others think of us but the truth is no matter what we do to some people won't like us and that's perfectly fine in fact it's Inevitable you could live your life perfectly always doing what's expected of you and there would still be people who disapprove why because the opinions of others are based on their own experiences biases and perspectives things over
which you have no control trying to gain the approval of everyone is like trying to control the weather it's simply impossible and fudal instead of wasting energy trying to please everyone wouldn't it be more freeing to let go of that need the key to happiness lies not in the approval of others but in the courage to live authentically to be yourself even when others don't understand or approve the courage to live authentically is the Bedrock of true happiness if you spend your life trying to be someone you're not just to gain approval you'll always feel
like you're wearing a mask eventually that mask becomes heavier and heavier and it leads to burnout frustration and ultimately discontent as the stoic philosopher senica wisely put it a good character is not a thing of chance but a thing of choice you are the one who decides how to live your life And it is only when you live in alignment with your values that you will experience true fulfillment the pursuit of approval from others especially when it means compromising ing your authenticity will always lead to Inner conflict but when you embrace your true self without
concern for the Judgment of others that's when you unlock the freedom to live fully now let's consider how the courage to be disliked actually sets you free the freedom we're talking about here is not the freedom to do anything you want regardless of consequences it's the freedom to live by your own principles and values without being held hostage by others opinions it's about having the strength to say this is who I am and I will live according to my own standards not those imposed by the world around me true freedom is about choosing your own
path regardless of whether others agree with it it takes courage to walk that path because it means standing firm in your beliefs even when they go against the grain it means accepting that some people won't like you and that's okay in fact it's often a sign that you're living authentic Ally when you take this step you no longer feel obligated to mold yourself into someone you're not just to fit in instead you can focus on what really matters to you your goals your values and your vision for your life as the stoic philosopher epicus once
said freedom is the only worthy goal in life it is one by disregarding things that lie beyond our control when you stop caring about external validation and start living for yourself you free yourself from the chains of others expectations in our careers we may seek validation from our bosses or colleagues in our personal lives we might crave the approval of our friends or family but the more we rely on others for validation the more we give away our power we allow their opinions to shape our sense of self-worth leaving us at the mercy of their
judgments but when we find the courage to be disliked we take back that power we stop allowing external opinions to dictate how we feel about ourselves instead we start focusing on what we can control our own thoughts actions and values this shift in mindset is transformative because it frees Us from the constant need for validation and approval we start to trust ourselves more to rely on our own inner Compass rather than the fluctuating opinions of others and when you stop seeking a approval you'll find that you can be more authentic more at peace and ultimately
happier living for yourself without seeking the approval of others also means accepting that you may disappoint people along the way this is where the real challenge lies many of us fear rejection or the thought of being disliked we worry that if we aren't liked or accepted by others will be alone or unimportant but the truth is being true to yourself and embracing the courage to live authentically can strengthen your relationships in the long run when you live authentically you attract people who appreciate you for who you truly are you surround yourself with those who value
your genuine self not some idealized version of you and even if there are those who disapprove it's important to remember that their disapproval does not define your worth it's simply a reflection of their own beliefs and it has nothing to do with your value as a person This understanding is liberating because it allows you to let go of the need to please others opening up space for you to live according to your true self ultimately the key takeaway is that the courage to be disliked is the courage to live freely it's about living according to
your values choosing happiness for yourself and letting go of the need for external validation yes it can be uncomfortable at first yes it can feel risky but the reward is immense a life that is true authentic and truly fulfilling so I ask you are you ready to embrace this Freedom are you ready to stop seeking approval and start living on your own terms the courage to be disliked isn't just about surviving it's about thriving it's about living the life you were meant to live without being weighed down by the judgments of others when you find
this courage you'll discover a sense of peace and happiness that no amount of external validation can ever give you as we wrap up this video I encourage you to take these stoic principles and apply them to your daily life focus on the present Savor the small moments and Find meaning in your journey because True happiness doesn't lie in distant goals but in how we live today remember the courage to live authentically without needing approval from others is the key to Lasting fulfillment embrace the reality that not everyone will like you and that's perfectly fine start
living for yourself not for others what small step can you take today to begin living more authentically I'd love to hear your thoughts on this drop a comment below and share your journey toward self-acceptance and personal growth let's keep the conversation going here on stoic in your life [Music] [Music]
