[Full Story] I Rebuilt My Life After My Husband Abandoned Me Without Explanation. 7 Years Later...

I rebuilt my life after my husband abandoned me without explanation 7 years later he wants to reconnect but I'm happily married so yesterday I 32f found myself in a situation that had never even come across my mind my ex-husband Eric 34m is trying to reconnect with me after 7 years of complete radio silence it's bringing up a lot of memories and feelings that I thought I had dealt with so many years ago Eric and I met during our freshman year in college we joined the campus Environmental club which was quite active one time this freshman

guy stood on one of the makeshift stages we had put up at the rally with his voice seething with conviction about climate change he was so very passionate and I found myself falling for him we were friends first making events and posters arguing about environmental policies that seemed like they went on for hours that all transitioned into romance as our junior year approached it seemed to happen without thought just about when it would have one evening a star studded Sky broke out overhead as we walked back toward the dorms after a particularly successful fundraising event

Eric stopped turned to me and simply said I think I'm in love with you my heart seemed to miss a beat and I realized the very same fact that I loved him too it was hard you know from the very Inception we were young and idealistic and madly in love we got married just after graduation in a beautiful outdoor ceremony our vows included not just to love one another but to make the world a better place looking back this seems almost comically naive but at the time time it felt right the first years of our

marriage went pretty well we both found jobs in our field I worked for a nonprofit dealing with sustainable agriculture and Eric found a job with an environmental law firm we were busy but we were happy still very much in love still working toward our goals things changed for us in the fourth year of marriage Eric's Law Firm took a case against a huge corporation that had broken the law about dumping toxic waste the case became everything to Eric he was at the office almost every night often until 2 in the morning I felt proud of

his dedication but lonely on the inside we grew further apart our conversations began to shorten the activities we did together even fewer it was during this time that my childhood best friend Alex 32m came back into my life Alex and I grew up next door to each other we were the best of friends as kids able to always find trouble his family moved away in high school and though we swore to stay in contact often life gets in the way Alex communicated with me over social media and told me he got a job interview scheduled

to be in town I really looked forward to the trip to rekindle an old friendship we set a date for his visit to our place since Eric was supposed to be working late that day it was one of those days packed with laughter and Nostalgia the day Alex arrived at the house we sat on the couch flipping through photo albums reliving most of the adventures we had during our early childhood I felt lighter than I had in months my mind temporarily off the growing distance between Eric and me that is when Eric stepped in I

believed he must have come back back early from work to surprise me but he actually was the one surprised the look on his face when he saw Alex and me on the couch was a one of a kind that I have kept in my mind for life he looked at us shocked and hurt and quickly stormed out before I could explain I called Eric two or three times that evening but he didn't answer he didn't come home I woke up in the morning only to find papers on the kitchen table demanding divorce I felt so

hurt and shocked considering that Eric could take such a big step without even wanting to listen to what I had to say I did absolutely everything possible for the next month to get to Eric called texted and even sent emails I contacted his friends and family but everywhere he had blocked me even Alex tried to call him to clear up most of the misunderstanding but Eric wouldn't hear it and after a month numerous attempts I finally understood that Eric wasn't going to hear me out in pain and anger I decided not to fight the divorce

the next two months were the worst in my life I left our apartment and moved in with my friend Sarah 31f I had to sleep on her couch while I was looking for a new job in my own place I quit my job after we got married the reason was that Eric wanted me to have time to build our home now that I think about it just how naive was I for giving up my Independence so easily Sarah was quite literally a godsend at this time she was my college roommate briefly before I went to

live with Eric and she instantly opened up her house to me I spent many nights on her couch crying and trying to make sense of how my life had fallen apart so quickly and she listened patiently offering advice when I asked asked for it and reminded me more than anything that I was strong enough to get through this it took me almost a year but I got up again I was employed as a marketing coordinator at a small firm that dealt with the promotion of eco-friendly products although it was not environmental work proper as was

my dream it did enable me to use my skills and make a positive contribution to society I also got a small studio apartment not a big one but it was mine and the pride and independent achievement was mine rebuilding my life I was heavily involved with work over the next few years and quickly moved from coordinator to manager I had new sets of friends through work in the local hiking club that I had joined I took up painting as a hobby something that I always had wanted to try but seemed never to be able to

find time for when Eric and I were together I was casually dating then no commitments the experience with Eric scared me off from commitments it was only 3 years ago at a work conference that I felt I would open my heart again when I met David 35m David was unlike all the other men I had ever dated he was sensitive he understood things he was quietly self assured in a way that proved incredibly attractive he worked as an architect engaged in sustainable design we bonded on environmental issues just like with Eric but it wasn't the

whole world David and I took it very slow we were dating for a full year before we even started talking about moving in together he never pushed his case on me right from the beginning he respected my space and Independence we did move in together and this time it felt right we got married married last year in a small ceremony with our closest friends and family it was different from my wedding day with Eric smaller more intimate and somehow more real life was good until last week when I got a friend request on Facebook from

Eric I thought he did that years ago and so I was surprised by this friend request curiosity got the better of me and I accepted the request almost immediately afterward I received a very long message from him he said in the message that he had bumped into Alex at a common Friend's Wedding recently Alex had told him what really had happened that day 7 years ago he feels awful for jumping to conclusions without even giving me a chance to explain he apologized for what he did and said that he regretted his act all these years

he said he now lives in our old Hometown and wanted to get together to apologize in person and to catch up he said he was single and that he hadn't stopped thinking of me at all I was speechless 7 years of no communication and now Eric wanted just to wals back into my life like nothing happened I didn't know how to respond part of me was angry that he had taken so long to realize his mistake but another part of me was curious about what he had to say I haven't replied to Eric's message yet

I told David about it and he has been very supportive saying it is up to me if I want to meet Eric or not I am torn on one hand I have moved on with my life and I'm happy with David on the other hand there is this tiny part of me that wants closure I don't know what to do should I meet Eric and hear him out or should I ignore his message and move on with my life as it is now any advice will be welcome update one thank you all for your invaluable

advice and support reading through all your comments and after some thoughts over for the last couple of days I decided to reply to the letter of Eric this made short into the point points I replied that I was glad for the apology but that bygones had been bygones and that I was happily married and saw no reason for the two of us to meet up or renew any kind of relationship not even that of friends I thought that was it but no he immediately responded saying he understood but he really wanted to meet just once

in order to apologize in person he said he had so much to say and just couldn't do it justice over a message I didn't reply to this message in the hope he would take the hint but over the next few days Eric sent several more messages each one became increasingly emotional and desperate in one message he said he had never stopped loving me and that meeting Alex had awakened feelings he had been trying to suppress for years one message struck out in my mind Eric had written about the night of our first date one that

I nearly forgot we had plans to go to a very classy restaurant together but when the time came we went there and found it closed for some renovation not one to give up totally we ended up at this small pizza place really more of a hole in the wall and we just sat there for hours talking and laughing simply not concerning ourselves with what the time was one time Eric once told me it was then that he realized he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me the message had me taking quite a

trip down memory lane for a moment I was in the clouds rejoicing over all the good times we had shared he could have at least Trust trusted me enough to talk about what he had seen I showed all those messages to David who was quite rightly very concerned we agreed that I should block Eric on Facebook so that he wouldn't be able to contact me anymore I did this thinking and that would be the end of it well days later I got a bouquet of roses in the workplace with a card from Eric he said

he was sorry for the Facebook bombardment and that he really just wanted a chance to talk he left his phone number on the card I was really shocked and afraid I had never mentioned my place of work to Eric so he must have made some inquiries to that effect the Roses also looked very much like the ones he used to buy for me when we were married a particular variety that once I happened to mention I liked I informed my boss Maria 45f on the spot Maria and I get along fairly well she had been

really understanding when I was going through my divorce years ago she was very understanding about this situation and said she would Alert security to not let Eric in the building if he showed up the evening after David and I discussed much of what was happening we did feel that the ignoring was no longer an effective strategy and it was about time to try some more direct approach David wanted to do the talk with Eric himself and I was hesitant as I felt that this would only make matters worse finally we both decided that I would

Place another call to Eric this time to clearly tell him to stop contacting me I called Eric the following day from my office when he answered he sounded all animated but I cut him off before he had much of a chance to say anything I told him in no uncertain terms that his behavior was inappropriate and bordering on on harassment I made it very clear that I was now happily married and had no interest in revisiting any kind of relationship with him in any way a few times Eric tried to interrupt me to say something

but I continued to speak further he spoke of new memories from our past our first apartment together the Stray Cat that the two of us had adopted the future we had mapped out but every memory he said only reassured me of what I knew to be true those were part of a past that was long gone I warned him that if he ever dared to call me again or reach out to me in any way sh or form without my permission I would have him dealt with by the authorities I hung up after telling him

that should he find he just couldn't stand it without me to get help but to leave me out of it this conversation made me wanting to cry and to think how wrong I had been after the phone call I could not really decide if I felt relieved or sad it was good at that moment for once to have voiced my opinion clearly and stood my ground sad for the young naive girl of long ago who had her life turned upside down because of Eric's accusations and lack of communication it's been a week I still haven't

heard from Eric since that phone call anyway I hope it ends with this but yes David and I have made plans concerning steps to take in case Eric tries contacting me again that would include changing my phone number and making our home more secure this whole situation makes me realize how much in reality over a span of seven long years I have grown the old me would have been tempted to meet Eric to gain his approval or forgiveness but now I know my worth and I don't want to allow absolutely any body to shake the

life I've built for myself least of all Eric David has been great about all this his constant support and understanding have kept us even stronger we're planning a weekend getaway next month to relax and put this whole situation behind us I'll update again if anything else happens but I'm really hoping this is the last that I will have to deal with Eric thanks again for being here for me update when it has been nearly a month since my last post and unfortunately I have worse news to add to my case just when things seemed like

they had reached a dead and something totally unexpected happened with Eric 2 weeks later he dropped an email dilating from another email address he had opened due to my blocking every communication tool he had his email stated that he was truly sorry for his actions but that he still could not give up on us easily he went on to claim that he had even visited a therapist over his problems and that he was now a changed man he really poured his heart out in an email writing about what was between us before the college projects

on the environment the dreams we shared about the future he even told the story of the case he was working on when our marriage came undone stress at work clouting his judgment he even talked about the house we were going to buy an old vixer upper with a huge backyard where we were supposed to start a garden the more I read them the more I gently caress the screen and a sad smile found its place on my lips for a moment I remembered Eric with a Zeal someone who had ambition whose eyes beamed with all

the wild currents of the storm of Dreams regarding the future and then I remember the one who has just walked out on me without an answer the one who refused to listen to to my explanations I never replied to the email I forwarded it to Dave and we agreed to record everything just in case of further action we also decided to change my email address take out a new one and ramp up the privacy settings on all my social media accounts a week later during one evening as I was done working I saw Eric while

leaving he just stood close to my car in the parking at that moment I felt my heart was racing and for some seconds I stood there Frozen but thank God my coworker Lisa was with me at that time she had given me her attention and asked whether everything was fine I filled her in on everything that was going on and she offered to walk with me to the car as we approached Eric started coming toward us Lisa bless her steps in front of me and starts telling Eric to back off or she was going to

bring security here to throw his ass out Eric was now looking very surprised at the fact I did not come alone he mumbled about only wanting to talk and quickly left I was horrified by The Experience Lisa demanded she be up until David arrived to take me back home I narrated everything to David and we all realized that now was the moment to take Serious action the next day we went to the police station to make a complaint about him the officer in front said he was nice kind of rude and that he hadn't really

done anything that was actually illegal so far except he can be prosecuted for stalking they listened to our information and gave me direction on what to do if Eric persists in contacting me another step we took was meeting with an attorney who specialized in stalking cases she recommended that we send a a letter ordering him to cease contact the letter was mailed certified so we could prove Eric had received it the L would have secured us a few days of respit But Eric came over to our place last Saturday David and I were at the

backyard when the doorbell rang David entered to attend to the door and I could hear some animated conversations I entered to find out what was happening and David was at the door asking Eric to please leave when Eric saw me he began pushing past David David who is normally the calest person I know started physically pushing Eric back and told him that if he didn't leave immediately he would call the police Eric looked at me beseechingly but I stood firm behind David finally Eric left but not before shouting that he would never give up on

us we called the police the minute Eric left the house they have taken our statement including the cease and desist letter and all the documentation we have regarding Eric's attempts to contact me the officers have said that they will try to locate Eric and have a talk with him this incident makes us feel insecure and unsafe in our own house now we are really considering moving even though it's our dream house and we love the area we have also looked into home security systems and cameras I'm angry that Eric is going to take our lives

and make them different I'm angry that after all of this he still thinks he has a right to me but mostly I'm scared I do not have a clue how far Eric might go and that not knowing is what's so bloody scary David's been my rock through all this he's taken time off of work to spend with me he has been constantly on the phone with the police our attorney and we are just taking it one day at a time hoping that he will finally get the hint to leave us alone I'll update again if

there are any significant developments thank you all for your continued support and advice update three I really must say it's been a couple of months since my last update but by now some level of Peace has finally been restored the police were able to find Eric after he came to our house and gave him quite a lecture they warned him and told him that if there were any further contacts from him he faced the music it seems the police intervention finally got through to Eric from that day he never called or came unexpectedly not a

word we are all relieved yet on our nerves we went ahead and installed the security system complete with a couple of cameras around the house David and I discussed the matter and determined that we would not move from our residence we cherish our dwelling and did not appreciate Eric's succeeding in running us out of the neighborhood we did make a couple of changes in our life patterns I started carpooling with my co-worker Lisa to and from the employment office and David ranged to alter his work hours so that he would be present at our home

when I returned the entirety of the experience was an eyeopener it made me realize the amount of residual anger I had not resolved with Eric regarding our marriage's failure I find that I feel the need to see a therapist to work it all out and to process this stress from the recent events it happened in one of my therapy sessions when the penny dropped I had been holding on to this idealized Eric from college this passionate idealistic young man with whom I fell in love little did I know that this person was gone lost in

battle replaced by another whom I no longer know or trust being able to realize this helped me rid myself of the last lingering attachments that held me to our past David and I are actually closer now than before the protection and support of my man have given me a feeling of what partnership really means we have had numerous long conversations about our relationship and what is to come in our future we even started discussing a family something I wasn't so sure about after Eric but now it feels right with David things in the office are

back to usual my boss Maria has been quite accommodating understanding with all the happenings she even gave me a shot to work on this new project about sustainable practices in local businesses returning me to working on the environment Lisa a work friend of mine who squared up to Eric in the parking lot has been one of my best friends we grab lunch all the time and she has been an excellent listener when I need just to release some steam about the situation I am cautiously optimistic about the future while I hope it's the last I've

heard of Eric I'm better prepared than the previous time he contacted me now I work on my marriage my career and my mental health we are going to take a vacation with David next month we will go for a hike in the mountains we really think it will be nice to get a break for a while come closer to Nature and each other as friends can do without the nightmare of recent events when I think back on it I can't fail to be proud of how much I've improved the scared broken woman who slept on

Sarah's couch 7 years ago does really seem quite a different person now I feel stronger more self-assured and much more more supported than ever before thank you all for your support throughout this challenging time your words of advice and kindness have indeed been a strength hopefully this will be my last blog entry on this Fiasco and I will just be able to move forward without any more interruptions from my past here's to new beginnings and the power of moving on