since I started studying the psychology of women and learning how attraction works I kept coming across a specific phrase if a woman doesn't respect you she'll never love you this phrase is true but what I didn't understand at that time was that the respect a woman should have for you isn't the same respect that exists between you and others so before we start if you're expecting me to give you the usual advice like set boundaries respect the girl go to the gym and so on then it's better for you to leave now that's all good
advice but it's not what we're going to talk about here the kind of respect you need to seek the respect that will make a woman love you even more is a different type of respect altogether so let me explain the difference between ordinary respect and the respect that creates attraction and desire between you and a woman there are two types of respect one grandfatherly respect this is the kind of respect she might feel for her grandfather he's a kind elderly man and she respects him because he's her grandfather this is the same kind of respect
she has for her friends including those who are unfortunately stuck in the friend zone Emperor life respect this is the kind of respect she might feel for a Roman Emperor a powerful or inspiring and impressive respect the men who received this type of respect are the ones she dreams about and fantasizes about it's clear that the respect a woman should have for you is Emperor likee respect now the important thing to knowe is that respect in the beginning may start at a point maybe at zero and then gradually builds up over time this is something
I didn't realize for a while I used to think respect was something that could be built overnight I was reading those pickup artist books that kept saying you need to set boundaries and not let her cross them all that basic advice which in reality didn't work and even if it did work it only led to that grandfatherly respect that keeps you in the friend zone so let's get back to our topic and let's take an example of someone you respect imagine you're driving and a police officer pulls you over and asks for your car documents
you'll respect him and you might even feel a bit intimidated now ask yourself why do you respect him is it because he sets boundaries no you respect him because he has power and because you feel a certain level of fear toward him this feeling and type of respect is what a woman should have for you and it's something that's built through your actions and personality it makes her want to respect you rather than you trying to earn her respect focus on this line because it's the most important attractive respect is when she wants to respect
you not when you're trying to earn it this respect is made up of two things power and fear and just a quick note before your mind runs wild fear in a subtle way that she actually enjoys meaning she won't be afraid of you in reality we'll go over this in detail and and I'll explain everything thoroughly let's start with the first thing you need to have power in your relationship with a woman first let me explain what power is then I'll tell you how to apply it and make the goal with you feel it being
strong with a goal means that your life Remains the Same after meeting her as it was before your friends hobbies and interests should stay the same of course you can try something new but it shouldn't be because of her for example if you were smoking and wanted to quit you'd stop but not because of her you'd stop because you want to and do you remember one of the videos from the series how to attract women where I mentioned that a woman tests a man let me tell you that one of the biggest tests she performs
is to try to make you change especially in the beginning and during the getting to know you face she might tell you that your style isn't great that you should change your haircut quit smoking or even change your friends or job she does this unconsciously and if you follow her words and do what she asks you'll lose your power and with it her respect at the same time your opinion should also not change because of her this is a very important point and a mistake I made often in the past when I went to University
I moved from my home country to study abroad and the culture was completely different when I talk to any girl I would automatically disagree with her opinions but soon after I'd end up agreeing because I was afraid of losing her wanting to appear as if I was on her side but this was one of the biggest mistakes I made with girls so to be clear don't change but at the same time don't argue with her if she tells you not to wear something don't react aggressively don't say things like don't control me or why are
you saying this stay calm and simply say no with girls always speak through your actions this tip is very important don't keep talking justifying or debating speak through your actions anyway the most important thing is that you don't sacrifice for a girl this stuff we see in movies and TV shows doesn't work if you sacrifice for a girl she'll put you in the friend zone never give up your happiness or something you enjoy for a girl for example if you like playing video games and she tells you to stop although quitting may be a good
idea but I don't think you need me to tell you that but if you quit just because she said so know that the moment you stop you'll lose your power as a man in short a girl should never be the reason for your change this is the first manifestation of power second stop apologizing unnecessarily one of the things I often see guys doing is apologizing without reason or for something trivial for example let's say the girl wore something you didn't like and you mentioned it giving her a bit of criticism if she gets upset or
angry don't go after her saying I'm sorry if you didn't do anything wrong don't apologize I say this with regret because we live in a time where I even need to give you this advice if you didn't make a mistake don't apologize this was a mistake I used to make all the time and it's unfortunate to see men apologizing to women without any real reason please don't make this mistake before you apologize think and ask yourself did I actually do something wrong now let's break down when you should apologize and when you shouldn't as this
is something I've struggled with a lot there are three types of situations you might face with a girl situation one you didn't do anything wrong but you said something that made her upset or feel bad situation two you made a small mistake situation free you made a big mistake listen carefully because I'll explain each of these situations in detail situation one if you didn't do anything wrong but she's upset in this case don't apologize instead tease her a little and joke around with her situation two this is when you made a small mistake like forgetting
her birthday and not getting her a gift here of course we're talking about a relationship that's already established not a new friend or someone you just met a week ago but if you're already together and you forgot a small gift or something minor your apology should be brief simply say sorry and then give us some some space she might be upset and not talk to you but that's just a trap don't go after her begging for forgiveness just say one word then back off and let her come back to you naturally when she's ready to
start talking again situation three this is when you made a very big mistake like cheating or something serious and unforgivable in this case there's no harm in going out of your way to apologize you can buy her a gift go to her place to apologize and so on if it's a big mistake it's fine to go the extra mile we've talked about what to do if you're the one at fault now let's look at what to do when she's the one at fault situation one don't show any reaction or anger don't get upset over something
she said don't show that you care as a man you shouldn't be full of drama situation two again don't get angry but you should hold her accountable here's an example I like and have mentioned before if a girl calls you at the last minute before a planned date to say she might not be able to come try something like you're messing up your chances with me and hang up she'll probably call back to apologize when she does say all right I'll give you another shot write me an apology letter and email it to me within
20 24 hours be serious about it if she refuses just say have a nice day and hang up and don't call her again unless she contacts you first if she makes a mistake with you she should face consequences in the case of a big mistake like cheating again you shouldn't get angry but you should end a relationship I'm sorry but in this situation there's no other solution because if you forgive her she'll lose respect for you permanently and she'll never love you if she stays with you it will probably only be to exploit you if
you have money by the way let me go off topic and give you a golden tip never let let her get you mad or upset if you get mad or upset over a girl's actions then it's a great feedback that you are not in control and she is the one who actually controls you if her actions can make you react then she is the one who is driving you around there might be times when a girl might say some real nasty things to you but you should never react to this by showing anger or losing
your cool be like The Rock in the storm and act like nothing gets to you no matter what in most cases a girl might just be trying to test you to check how you react to extreme situations if you react the way she predicts then you failed the test lost your power and lost her respect that was the part about power and how to be powerful with a girl now let's move on to the element of fear but the kind of fear she actually enjoys and wants to feel in a relationship what is this fear
and how does it work to understand it it's essential to explain the foundational principle investment equals attraction which equals respect I explained the concept of investment earlier in this series but now I'll clarify its connection to respect and fear most men make a big mistake when trying to win a girl over they think that their investment in her is what counts so they take her on expensive dates drive her around in luxury cars and treat her to find dining for months and the list goes on where does this lead them they end up as her
mayor of the friend zone meanwhile she's with someone else who hardly puts in any effort for her and maybe only gives her a small trinket he doesn't want anymore while this may be an extreme example you see mild AV verions of it happening every day so what's the lesson here it's not your investment in her that matters it's her investment in you that counts the more time effort and money you spend on her the more attached that you become the more you chase her and try to impress her the more she occupies your thoughts but
because she isn't investing in you her feelings remain unchanged simply put if her investment doesn't increase neither will her attraction or desire for you so what should you do you need to reverse the situation the more she invests in you the more attracted she will become don't get me wrong you still need to invest but only enough to make her feel comfortable investing in you then let her take the lead in investing now as she starts to invest in you her fear of losing you grows and this tip might be the most important one you'll
hear today as humans the more we invest in something The More We Fear losing it for example imagine you have a piggy bank and put $20 in it every day at first you won't be too worried about it being stolen or lost but after several months when the amount reaches $33,000 your fear of losing it will grow because you've invested more the more you add to it the more you fear for its safety it's the same with a girl the more she invests in you the more she fears is losing you and fear is the
second key component of respect when these two elements come together congratulations no girl will dare to disrespect you this was the dark needle and I'll see you in the next video [Music]
