[Music] hi everyone my name is Fernanda welcome or welcome back to a better you podcast I'm your host and today we are going to talk all about independence moving out being on your lonesome dealing with loneliness and overcoming it I'm excited for today's episode because today's a little bit more chill I'm gonna be telling you guys about my experience ever since I moved out um how I've been dealing with loneliness how I've been coping with being an adult a tragic tragic thing uh just kidding not tragic actually just mandatory to life but um realizing that
it's quite more tragic than I thought it would be but anyways we have so many topics to cover I'm going to answer all of your questions that you guys have give you my piece of advice after living alone for one year and everything that I've learned along the way it's Thursday and I just uploaded a podcast episode yesterday if you haven't heard it yet to go listen to it it is all about a little mindset talk and talking to you guys about going after your goals and your dreams and just conquering whatever you set your
mind to but today I'm filming this podcast the day after posting the other one because this weekend is Coachella I said that in the last episode as well and I'm doing a little bit of a pre-film because I will not be at home next week I will be in LA and I want to make sure that I get this episode up and recording for you guys so that's my vibe right now it's currently raining and there's a big gloomy Cloud over me and it's not really the vibe but I'm feeling excited because like I said
Coachella is literally tomorrow and uh I guess by the time you're listening to this Coachella has already passed I hope that you guys were staying up to date on my Instagram and seeing how it all went for me past Fern I hope that oh yes future Fern as I'm recording this right now I hope that Coachella is amazing for you and that it's so fun and that all your outfits slayed the past few days have been my errand running days um as coachella's coming up I got my nails done my toes done I got my
extensions put back in today and I am feeling like a 10 out of 10. my extensions make me feel so confident and on top of the world and I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing because when I have them in I feel unbreakable but when I have them out I just want them back in so bad and I just feel like not myself with short hair so like I don't know take it how you will I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but anyways and I
also have a spray tan today so that's exciting oh I got a facial yesterday I got a LED light therapy facial while getting Gua Sha which was kind of fun it was cool because I always do gouache on myself but it was a whole different experience having somebody else do it on you and it did make me realize that I'm definitely pulling way too hard on my skin because the girl doing my gouache massage was so chill and calm but I may or may not have fallen asleep like three times on that chair but that
was amazing today I was gonna go to a cycling class because I love doing that but I fell asleep and I slept through my alarm so that was an L that's how my day has been going I also did some shopping I'm trying to figure out my outfits for what I'm going to wear this next week and it's just overwhelming to say the least I'm overwhelmed by the amount of options that I have or the options that I do not have wherever you're listening to this podcast whether you're on a walk or you're at school
or you're at home or you're cleaning I hope that you are doing well I love you guys let's get on into this episode living alone let me tell you guys a little story about how this all came to be I moved out for the first time ever from my family home last year in May so it's almost coming up to a year which is crazy to even say because I feel like the time has just flown by so fast but at the same time so slow honestly I plunged myself forward into moving out and even
though at the time it was something that I had always like wanted to do like I remember the last few months before I moved out I just felt so stuck at home and creatively uninspired like I was trying to film videos and some of you guys were even saying to me you're videos are starting to get repetitive and it would really it was like a stab to the chest because I knew it too I knew that my angles were getting repetitive the scenes were getting repetitive I was doing the same types of videos and I
feel like it was all just turning out the same and I I had anxiety over it and I know you guys maybe would say like you shouldn't let the hate get to you but it's different when you get comments that are kind of like hate I guess or criticism but you also believe in it because again if you get triggered by what someone says to you you believe that a part of it is true and 100 I believe that like I knew it myself um and I remember when it was January last year I was
just so antsy and I was like hey I have to start looking for places now and also for some reason I swear every single YouTuber moved out last year at this time and I just felt like I was falling behind I was like holy like everyone's moving out I gotta step up my content and you know the timing felt kind of right so I started doing apartment hunting and I made the tragic tragic mistake by visiting the nicest apartment first because every other apartment that I visited after that one just did not even compete to
the first one and I ended up living in the same building as that first apartment but I ended up getting in a different unit so the building that I'm currently in and recording in right now is the very first one that I looked at when I decided that I was going to move out and yeah let me just tell you obviously this isn't what the episode is about but finding a place to live in Vancouver is actually horrendous it gives me a headache just thinking about it and it's actually shameful how expensive and just like
crazy apartment hunting is in Vancouver every single place that I looked was either really expensive for a new apartment or really old and like slightly still expensive for how big the place was like you just couldn't win but again I love where I live now so I'm happy that I lived here for the past year and I feel like I wouldn't have wanted it any other way I honestly feel like I didn't even process the fact that I was gonna move out I just did the apartment hunting we finally decided the one and then it
just became time I had to pack all my things and I had to start moving in I just like didn't even give myself a chance to like be sad or reminisce that I was leaving my family home and that I wouldn't live with my family probably ever again or at least for a very long time and I moved straight away and honestly I feel like a lot of people were asking me like I did a little q a on my Instagram story and they were like how did you feel moving out like were you scared
were you sad and I actually like wasn't really for some reason I kind of just fully plunged myself forward and the reason for why I think that I wasn't very sad about moving out or having to spend so much time on my own was because the year prior to moving out I had spent a lot of time traveling on my own which I highly recommend if you are gonna move out for the first time I would suggest doing solo traveling because obviously it's not the same as living alone but it does get you in a
very independent headspace and for me who is someone that is very forgetful and kind of clumsy and I lose a lot of things I had always been the child or the girl I guess that like was getting watched whenever I would go on trips and he was always like you know what give me your passport I'm gonna hold it for you because you're gonna lose it you're gonna lose your phone so yeah traveling on my own made me really take care of my things really watch my back feel out how it was going to be
spending so much time on my own and exploring cities on my own so yeah honestly traveling alone can't recommend it enough even if you go somewhere that isn't like super expensive or somewhere that you don't have to spend a lot of money from I highly recommend it it was so good for me but yeah when I moved out I felt like I was just traveling alone like I was in my apartment and I was like I just felt like I was on a very long vacation and I honestly didn't feel sad at all I loved
it I I came right into here and I felt super safe in this apartment it was honestly kind of fun the first few weeks that I moved in I didn't really have a lot of furniture teachers so I just had a yoga mat and I did so much yoga I had so much space because I didn't have a couch yet or anything so I was just doing like cartwheels in my apartment I was blasting music I had my TV on the floor and it was a Vibe I loved it and let me just say that
first month that I moved out on my own I was a freaking club rat I moved downtown Vancouver the year before I was 19 and it was kind of like while covet was happening so I didn't get to go clubbing much and so when I moved out and I was in the city and I was like Prime 20. me and my friends went clubbing like every single weekend twice a week and it's kind of funny looking back now because I wouldn't do that but at the time I had the time in my life I made
so many memories with my friends and it was so fun getting ready in an apartment having a little pre listening to music like it was just so fun and I feel like that was one of the biggest emotions that I had when I moved out just like happy Jolly I felt so free and not that my parents ever didn't let me do stuff or they were like super protective like I still had a lot of freedom when I lived at home but actually being on my own and not having to tell anyone what time I
was coming back at or just going out whenever I wanted to was really such a crazy feeling and I just remember feeling so grateful so yeah I loved it and I spent the entire spring and summer traveling so honestly I didn't even spend that much time alone and buying all the furniture was super fun like basically what I'm trying to say is I had a great spring and summer it was a Vibe it was fun I was adjusting to the new city life I was getting to know my neighborhood I was trying a lot of
new workout classes new restaurants New cafes and then September hit and I'm just giving you a little bit of a recap here on my year but September hit and I had so many things it kind of felt like the end of a hurray like I hit 1 million subscribers I did my ardenne collection launch which was like a clothing collection and then my birthday was in October I had New York Fashion Week basically so many things happened that after that I felt so overwhelmed so burnt out and obviously I had never experienced feeling burnt out
and sad and overwhelmed on my own and it kind of hit me like a truck I was in a little Depression era and you know what my parents are listening to this right now I bet so no reason to be concerned because I'm obviously fine now and I was probably fine then but you know when in the moment you feel so helpless and you feel so like oh my God I'm never gonna feel better I'm so sad like that's what I felt like and I think at that time I wasn't really sure how to get
myself out of a slump when I had nobody else around and when I wasn't surrounded by friends 10 minutes away from me I didn't have my family close to me it was just it felt like a very lonely period um and now looking back I would tell my younger self girl get up go outside call somebody do something don't just sit there and be sad but that was definitely a low point for me I guess and same with kind of November I guess I was really nervous because I feel like I do struggle kind of
with seasonal depression and I was nervous to go into that season while living alone for the first time but again we'll kind of discuss on how I coped with loneliness or how I coped with feeling sad and all that kind of stuff while living alone but it was definitely a change for me and it was kind of a little realization slap but yeah ever since January now that we're heading into this new spring era out of winter I felt a lot better and now I feel so much more mature than I did before and I
feel just so like better equipped I feel like I don't fall into those sad phases as easily anymore yeah this year has been such a crazy year of growth for me and it's so funny because I feel like I've matured so much in one year and now whenever I think of myself when I lived at home I'm just like why was I living on easy mode like I don't think I was ever sad I was constantly happy and I didn't have to cook I only cleaned my room I had my friends all around me I
had my family close to me like I was kind of living and honestly I I feel like I maybe could have stayed home a little bit longer but like I said I just kind of felt so creatively stuck at the time so you know I guess it's a good thing that I moved but also I could have stayed home longer and now looking back I really appreciate that time that I spent home because like I should have been a little bit more grateful I was living on easy mode and life was good but yeah that
that's been kind of a little bit of a summary of my year while living alone so I wanted to go into some of the things that I've learned while living alone and kind of talk to you guys through them starting off with number one it's a lot harder to move than I thought and it's a lot more expensive now this may be a given but for some reason it wasn't for me I thought it was gonna be a breeze and like yeah it kind of was like it didn't I I wasn't super thrown off by
it but it definitely takes a lot of effort and it takes a big toll on you mentally and physically it's also just such a pain to like clean everything put everything in boxes unpack everything get your new place situated it takes a lot of time and I thought I was gonna be busting out videos every single week of my moving process and when I was actually doing it I was like holy this is going to take me a lot longer bear with me friends but yeah it takes it takes a lot of work and it's
also freaking expensive I mean again I knew it was going to be expensive but moving out for the first time there are so many things I didn't realize I would have to buy like Cutlery and napkins and tupperware like bruh that was a shock I also didn't think Furniture was going to be that expensive and I was quite humbled when I realized how much a couch and a table cost but that was traumatizing but on the other side now I'm gonna have this furniture for life and I can take it with me to the next
upcoming apartments or wherever I go after this so I feel like it is a little bit of a stab to the heart at first but I'm gonna have this for a long time so I feel like it kind of it was kind of worth it if you are moving I highly recommend looking on like Facebook Marketplace or taking old furniture that you have with you because it is expensive and it's a lot doing for the first time but at the same time it's super fun to decorate your space and I had so much fun picking
out all my furniture it was just it was a Vibe I also got my friends to come to Ikea with me and they came over to help me build furniture and it was just so fun one of the places that I really love to shop at was Etsy for like all the cute little like posters and little Trinkets and I absolutely love going thrifting and picking out unique little pieces of Decor because everything is so unique it's so colorful and it's so cheap so I highly recommend thrifting and yeah I also highly recommend going on
Pinterest and pinning a bunch of different ideas of furniture and kind of Vibes that you like for your apartment because that really helped me solidify the vibe that I was going for but can I say one thing now that I've lived in this specific apartment for a year something that I've realized is that when I moved I really wanted this whole new like gray and white fridge that looks like a cabinet marble very new aesthetic of a apartment and now I'm kind of like craving wooden floors and a little more of a vintage Vibe and
like trees as a in a backyard or just like grass because I feel kind of gray in this apartment I don't know why I just feel like everything's a little too bland it's a little too gray a little too industrial like I'll look outside and all I see is cement and concrete and I think it's kind of put a damper on my mood and I kind of just want like a warmer area so I definitely think in my next apartment I'm going to look for a place that has like a warm floor and maybe faces
the sun because that's a really big thing for me and when I picked this apartment unit I wanted to be able to see the sunset but I don't even see the sunset so it's kind of an L I didn't get the sunrise and I didn't get the sunset either so that's definitely what I'm going to do differently for next time but that was the first thing I learned while moving out the next thing that I learned while living alone is that you need to motivate yourself and have a routine otherwise you are going to be
bored and alone and feel kind of purposeless I mean my screen time has definitely 100 increased ever since I started living alone and in my defense I feel like I use it as like you know what everyone says a communication tool to feel less lonely to feel Community but like to a certain extent it's like girl get off your phone I don't think you should have a 12 hour screen time so I definitely had to find hobbies and activities to do so that I wouldn't just be alone on my phone or like watching a screen
the entire day and for me some of the things that I love doing while living alone is trying different workout classes going to different cafes going to get food on my own going to the parks bike riding Etc and having a routine is really important I will say though since I do work from home and I'm like my own boss or whatever you want to say I kind of have less of a need for structure and routine but a routine that really sticks with me and that I absolutely need to do is my morning routine
and I feel like that kind of sets me up for the day otherwise I will not have a good day and I know that's kind of like pessimistic to say but I really think my morning determines whether or not my day goes well because if I wake up and immediately I go on my phone and I'm just like feeling lazy and I just spend all morning in bed it's so hard for me to get my [ __ ] together during the day so having a routine is super important and being able to motivate yourself for
me that means having a lot of notes or planners or journals or just something that's going to keep you accountable this can also be having a buddy that you go to workout classes with or study with do your work with just anything that can keep you accountable is super important next up is calling people for help I feel like I have a weird the habit of whenever I feel super like sad I want to be with people but at the same time I don't want to be with anybody and I don't want to call anyone
and this kind of goes into the whole little sad phase that I'm telling you that I had in like September I feel like I was super overwhelmed and felt really lonely but at the same time didn't want to see anyone and now looking back I would have just told myself why don't you just go see your parents why don't you just call your parents why don't you just text somebody so if you're listening to this right now and you are struggling with loneliness or you live alone call somebody that you love tell them how you're
feeling talk openly it honestly helps so much and sometimes you don't even want to hear other people's advice because it's kind of like a lot but it really is helpful to hear another person's perspective and it makes you feel a lot less lonely and if you don't feel like calling someone or hitting someone up I highly suggest playing podcasts or listening to YouTube videos of people talking just some sort of sound that can kind of ease you and relieve you and make you feel like you're not a alone I think one of the worst things
is feeling this kind of like sadness and loneliness and being in complete silence it's just kind of painful I feel like this can kind of go a little bit too far to the point where you're always surrounded by noise and you should have a little bit of Silence but when you are feeling these down periods there's nothing wrong with calling someone and asking for help the next thing that I learned which is a tip for anybody that is living alone or is struggling with feeling a little bit trapped inside of their house is to honestly
go outside and go to cafes work in cafes just go see people I had this habit of being in my apartment and it almost felt like I was trapped I was like Looking Out My Window being like uh everybody's outside and I had nobody to hang out with and so I just kind of was staying Inside by myself but going outside and just being around people makes you feel less lonely honestly it kind of makes you feel more connected to everyone you get to people watch and it just made me feel so so much better
even though it's such a simple thing so I highly recommend if you work from home especially try going out to cafes go to different locations do your work even at restaurants I always do that and it's super fun and it's not embarrassing whatsoever I know a lot of people struggle with that and going to restaurants alone because they I don't know they think that it may be awkward but really nobody is paying attention to you and more power to you honestly they'll see you alone eating and they'll say oh my God she's doing her work
on her own like slay like honestly just put in some earphones nobody's gonna bother you or talk to you and everybody's more focused on themselves so they don't really care that you're there doing your work so I highly recommend that and if it's not something that you're used to go out and practice it because it will get better with time and you'll feel a lot more comfortable and it's honestly so fun like that is one of my favorite things to do and if you're feeling fancy feeling a little bit extroverted go make small talk with
people in public because there's so many people around and I assure you that if you go talk to them they'd happily continue the conversation with you another thing that I had to learn the hard way was that I had to do chores daily and I know that's so stupid for me to even say because that should be just like the bare minimum but I didn't realize how many chores I was gonna have to do and how hard it was going to have to be to keep my space clean and I also didn't realize how much
time it took like honestly I would have friends over and before it would just be like you know get ready tell them to come over but now it's like get ready clean the bathroom sweep vacuum make sure the kitchen is clean make sure everything is dusted make sure the windows are clean the mirrors are clean like everything just takes so much more effort and even though this is something I 100 have to get better at and it's definitely a work in progress for me having a little bit of a cleaning routine is going to help
you so much especially so you don't have to do ginormous cleans like once a week you can do like little cleans throughout the week if that makes sense something that I love to do is put on like a 15 minute timer and just clean as fast as I can and see how much I can get done because otherwise I will procrastinate the process for so long when literally sometimes all you need is a 15 minute timer and you can get the job done another thing that I learned and that I highly recommend you do if
you live alone is to take the time to make the space your own I remember I watched a tick tock by Victoria Paris and she was saying that every apartment that she lived in she would always kind of not fully furnish it because she just thought to herself well I'm gonna be out of here in a year so I don't really want to put in the effort to making it my own but that made her feel like none of the places she lived in were truly her home so I highly recommend making the place yours
and really adding Personal Touch to it and that doesn't mean that the place needs to be super trendy or aesthetic it's just things that remind you of home that make you feel happy and good I feel like I learned this because when I lived at home even I would redo my room all the time and like decorate it and stuff and I made it super bright super colorful and when fall came around I was like you know what I'm gonna switch up my Decor I'm going to put leather jackets in my room maybe make it
a lot darker and a lot more fall and even though that was the sea reason having all these dark colors in my room made me feel so dragged down and heavy and just like slow it just didn't feel like me and so having that in mind when I moved into this apartment I was like I'm just gonna make this the brightest colorfullest just most lively place that I can make it because that's what makes me feel good and I specifically did that in my office I made sure to add a lot of colors a lot
of pink just a lot of things that are really personal to me as well as maybe Little posters with quotes or hanging up personal pictures just really making the place your own it's going to make you feel a lot better it'll feel a lot more homey and it'll make your vibrations raise honestly and this can be applicable to you whether you live in a dorm or an apartment or even at home in your own bedroom just really take the time to make it your own and also I think that there's nothing better than going to
someone else's house and seeing their environment be such a reflection of them like it's honestly it feels like a little stamp on the world you know know like it's kind of like your style but it's your bedroom which is so sacred and special and it's just so cute my friend miles room is so vintage and it's so vibey she really curated it to have like posters of her favorite artist of her favorite bands she has a record player with her favorite records a lot of antique little decorations and really warm lighting and that's what screams
myella to me when I go into that room and as for Shaylee she like loves reading it loves like history and she has a bookshelf in her room and a whole bunch of books she's got some plants she's got a whole bunch of Polaroids that she's taken and it's very wooden and warm in there and it's just also super vibey so those are two people that stand out to me that have rooms that really represent their personalities and I absolutely love it and I guess some last few things that I want to say about this
is that you need to learn to be your own best friend when you move out because you're the only person that you've got at the end of the day that is something that I've really had to learn and it may be a little bit more strong of a feeling I guess for me because I do live alone and work alone and I don't really see that many people but I really had to learn to be my own best friend this year because all of my friends were in school or they were working and they were
doing stuff and I realized that at the end of the day all I've got is me and so I really needed to work on my relationship with myself and I feel like I honestly have a pretty good one but I guess this goes for someone else or if you're just moving out or if you do really focus on nurturing yourself and spending time with yourself and loving yourself and I feel like you can do this through doing a lot of self-care taking the time to journal really learn about yourself find out things that you like
things that you don't like um and being really in touch with your body say for example which sounds kind of weird but I mean like when you do an activity think about how it's making you feel or when you eat certain foods think about how they make you feel what makes your stomach hurt what makes you really happy or the certain type of music that makes you feel good just really analyzing yourself and getting to know what you like and what you don't like because that way you can make a lot of growth within yourself
and truly enjoy spending time with yourself really like the person you are when you're alone I also recommend keeping a journal with you like I said it's just so good for reflection and I've definitely spent a lot of time journaling this past year and it doesn't even have to be like super deep it can just be reflecting on your day but it does kind of make you think about the way that you're acting or what you're thinking about and it's also cute to look back on as a little memory something else that I learned while
living alone is that I always knew that I was like an extroverted person but ever since living alone I've realized that if I don't have like social contact or some sort of social Gathering or environment and I spend time alone I will actually go insane in like three days span so that's a big thing for me I've learned that I need to surround myself through people and surround myself with people as I do get energy from those kind of environments and just planning my weeks accordingly by adding things that are super fun and just making
me feel good and something I want to add in here I actually just saw this in a tick tock yesterday and I really liked it it was some girl talking about a podcast she had heard so this is like really far down the Grapevine is that what it's called I don't know but basically she was saying that doing things you love with people you love and as many times as you can throughout the week is the definition of happiness or something like that and I think that's so facts I think when you are living alone
you can get in the habit of just being in a routine or spending time by yourself and maybe that is what makes you the most happy but really focus on doing the things that you love that make you have fun that make you laugh that produce freaking dope dopamine and do it more often and as often as you can because it can be really isolating and I definitely feel like my energy has gotten a little bit stale when I spend a lot of time just doing my work and living for my job like I had
to remind myself to do things that were fun and to actually live my life and maybe this can be relatable for Content creators but not just making your whole life revolve around creating content and actually spending time with yourself or spending time doing things that you love that don't go on camera or that don't be filmed or recorded and yeah I guess those are a lot of things that I learned I feel like another thing that I would just tell my younger self or I guess not even my younger self but myself before moving out
is that it's going to be hard and it's gonna be painful but growth is painful growth is hard and even though it kind of sucks feeling all these like emotions and feeling like you're maturing and having to deal with all these adult things it's just a part of growing up every person is going through it and you can literally ask anybody else for help that's like the same age as you because they're probably going through the same thing or ask someone older than you for advice because they've been through what you've already been through but
it's just a part of the human experience and it's just something that you kind of have to go through like you know when they say the only way to get out of it is to go through it I feel like that's really what I should have named the chapter of my sadness this year like you know there's no way to go around it and sometimes you just gotta wait it out and go through it and just figure out what works for you but it's not going to be easy and if it is easy for you
then good job slay but just keep in mind that it's not going to be sunshine or rainbows the entire time and I think everybody can attest to this and reach out for help if you need it I also think that therapy is like a great option if you're moving out or moving by yourself because it will definitely give you like a place to talk and you know express your feelings if you don't already have a like safe place to do so now I asked you guys some questions on my Instagram about moving out and Independence
and loneliness and all that kind of stuff so I want to answer a few of your questions starting with am I thinking about moving again soon technically my lease ends in May but after that it goes month to month so I haven't really decided what I'm doing after that I think I would love to live somewhere else like for a while I was thinking about going to New York for the summer or going to La for the summer but to be honest Vancouver's best months is in the summer and these next six months so I
do really want to stay here and I want to enjoy that all my friends are here and the older that I get it's honestly it's been sad it's been a little bit of an L to see all my friends just get older and have actual adult jobs and as for myself to just like be so busy and you know everyone's doing their own thing now so I really want to spend these next few years I guess before people start to move away and real changes start to happen I really want to be with my friends
and they do bring me a lot of Happiness so I think summer in BC is going to be the moment for me as well as last year it was like my first summer moving out like tell me why I spent the entire summer working out I know that may sound kind of like I don't know stupid to people that don't really like to work out but honestly I found a lot of community through that and I did a lot of workout classes so I met a lot of friends like that and I really kept my
days busy so I highly recommend doing that if you don't already but as I was saying I did that all last year and this year I really want to focus more on like trying new hobbies or signing up for art classes or can continuing to deepen the relationships and new friendships that I have made with friends since I've been living here so yeah that is my vibe right now on if I was to move out but again I kind of am scared to like move too far away from my parents because I feel like I
might be sad and I don't know moving somewhere else is a kind of a lot but I would love to move to the US eventually even if it's for a little bit of time whether that be New York or La there's just too many options the options are endless okay next question do I get scared at night honestly no not really but I think it's just because I feel really safe in the apartment that I'm in maybe if I lived in a different area or in a different apartment I would feel different but I think
that you can buy like extra locks for your door at night and I feel like that would be super helpful um I just make sure to close all my windows and lock my door and if occasionally I'll hear like sounds in my apartment and I'm just like is that somebody I'll just like play music and tell myself to shut up and fall asleep because sometimes it's your mind playing tricks on you and you just need to fall asleep next question is how does it feel not having anyone in the apartment with you and it feels
great I'm going to tell you that honestly I can't even imagine what it would be like living at home anymore I feel so much peace on my own I can choose whether or not I want to talk to anybody whether or not I want to be with anybody I have so much time to recover and re-coop after being in too many social situations and I really love having the downtime on my own you can choose if you want to have a peaceful night or a crazy night and yeah I love it I feel like my
ideal situation would be if I had a friend be my neighbor in the same apartment like that would be the dream I do also enjoy the fact that I have my family still pretty close by I feel like living in a different country or in a different area that was like multiple hours away would be a lot more different and a lot harder um I typically see my family like once a week or like twice a week I then got asked how I get myself to do stuff and how to not chill all day and
I even got asked a lot of questions about how I get off my phone and how to reduce screen time and honestly I'm probably not one to give the best advice on this because I do spend a lot of my time procrastinating or being on my phone or just kind of avoiding the tasks that I have to do but like I said earlier in this episode I feel like having something that'll keep you accountable is super helpful and as for me since my job is like social media I have like my managers always like texting
me and emails coming to me being like you have to get this done and also just posting and filming videos weekly and all that kind of stuff you guys hold me accountable to telling me when I need to post and you know when I gotta get my [ __ ] done so I feel like I just know that if I don't get the things that I need to do done I feel worse about myself honestly like it is very rewarding to be responsible I guess or like do the things that you say you're gonna do
so yeah I usually give myself a lot of breaks throughout the day though and honestly this isn't the best method but sometimes I'll just like chill for like three days and then grind my workout for like three days in a row and again that is probably not the healthiest thing to do because it would be easier to just do work a few hours every single day but in my opinion I'd kind of rather get it done like that and that's just again one of those trial and error things where you just gotta figure out what
works best for you and obviously whenever you move out for the first time or if you're already living alone maybe you're struggling to find a routine to be productive and get your work done it's going to be different every single day and I feel like as you live on your own and you learn to live every day by yourself you're gonna find a pattern that works for you or like you know what is the best for you okay so let's talk pros and cons of living alone I feel like I've touched on a bunch of
them but Pros you can do whatever you want whenever you want you have nobody watching you you don't have to tell anybody who you're bringing over not that I am bringing anybody over but if you are living alone you don't have to I feel like you become a lot more mature a lot more responsible a lot more independent you can play whatever ever music you want you can be on the phone or filming and this is a big one for me when I'm doing my YouTube videos nobody's in the background talking or disrupting you can
also decorate however you like and if you are a girly girl and you want to make it a very feminine space it is just so fun and I'm really glad that I like didn't move in with a roommate or my boyfriend because I do get to have this little Independence girly era you also get to use up all the rooms in your apartment you have to use up all the closets and yeah it's great I love it as for cons I would say as much as having nobody tell you what to do is a good
thing it can also be a bad thing and for me I can make my apartment so messy and be okay with it but then when anybody else comes over I'm like oh God this is making me realize how much I shouldn't be okay with this another con again the cleaning it's just horrible jumping into the adult world is kind of scary when you are still young and I feel like I have like you know the landlord and the apartment manager and all these people asking so much for me and I'm just like guys I'm just
a girl girl but like they don't see you as a girl because they know you're living on your own so it's like you really get plunged into this new era another con is that it's freaking expensive and groceries are so expensive I didn't realize how much they were going to be when I first moved out and having to cook all the time is so frustrating but I definitely recommend doing a bunch of meal prep that is so helpful and also going grocery shopping like every few days to get new produce is kind of the routine
that I've gotten myself into and another con is that sometimes it's freaking boring like not lonely but just boring like I'll be avoiding my things that I have to do because I'm just over it I'm over spending time alone I'm over being my own best friend and sometimes I just want to hang out with people and it sucks when people are busy but I feel like that's one of those scenarios where you need to make a lot of friends in your area and have different friends for different purposes like whether you want to go out
with lunch or you want a workout buddy or you have a study buddy or you want to go out at night like just having different friends for different things so that you hopefully are never bored and like some somebody will be free whenever you want to hang out or see somebody because that's a big one for me oh and one more thing I want to add I highly recommend getting a pet because it makes you feel like you're not alone and you have someone to take care of and hopefully take care of your place for
if you are kind of like a Messier person or I don't know I think that's a big one for me like obviously my cat doesn't live with me here but he did stay with me for a week or two and it was cute I would always like come home and he was there waiting for me and it made me feel not so lonely and when I had to bring him back to my parents house I was kind of sad I was like oh my God he's not here I'm all on my lonesome again but at
the same time that was good because I was like thank God I have no one I have to take care of so yeah I guess there's pros and cons to the whole situation um but I'm really happy living alone I feel like I've learned so much about myself and how to cope with my own emotions I feel like being able to self-regulate and make yourself feel better when you're feeling down is such an important skill and the sooner that you learn it it is just so good for you and you can also learn those kinds
of skills or like how to cope with those feelings when you are living at home if that's still the case for you but yeah if you are living at home and you want to be more independent and kind of learn those skills I highly recommend taking yourself on dates and just doing more things alone it's going to help you so much in the long run and when you do move out it's not going to feel so harsh and so sudden it'll be kind of like a little gradual process I've got my phone here and I'm
going to go through the questions that I got on my Instagram at better you dot by Fernanda and I'm just going to Rapid Fire answer a few more ones do you ever miss living with your parents and your old lifestyle honestly yes I I get kind of sad honestly watching old videos because I was just so happy and I felt so youthful and I feel like I've aged 20 years in the past year and by that I mean like I just like look at my face and I'm like why do I look so much more
tired maybe this isn't the case for everybody but as a YouTuber I've got my growth documented on the internet and I can just watch old videos and see how I was doing in the past and I feel like it's a little bit painful because like I said I'll watch old videos and I was like oh my God I was so happy but I may just be catfishing myself because those also were highlight reels and maybe I wasn't even thriving at the time but I do miss how easy it was I miss not having to cook
I miss not having to clean I miss my friends being 10 minutes away I miss my only responsibility ever was editing a YouTube video and posting it I feel like I've just gotten so much more busy now and I've had definitely a lot more feelings of like anxiety and stress and like low-key I think I have had like an excess of cortisol which is like the stress hormone like I just feel like I've been so much more stressed like I don't know just so many things have changed and I just feel more mature and like
an adult but at the same time I think that this needed to happen and I wouldn't want to go back to how I was in the past I was just younger like that's just the reality of it obviously when you're younger you have less responsibilities you are happier and carefree and I feel like that's the next chapter of my life that I need to navigate towards is just like adding more fun to my life not being so stressed out delegating my job just like really taking care of my mental health because obviously I won't ever
have that carefree and just like youthful Vibe again probably but I can try to like lower stressful things out of my life and ask for more help it is a little bit painful and again as a YouTuber it's hard when people say like oh I miss I miss when you lived at home because it's like you you're obviously you're not going to be able to stay at an age or at a stage in your life forever you have to grow and you have to evolve and I definitely feel a lot more mature so yeah it's
different it's definitely different but I wouldn't want to go back either so how to be happy without being really social do things that make you feel good at home some hobbies that I love doing is painting or coloring or drawing um I love watching new TV shows I love dancing around my apartment I love trying new recipes and baking that's like a big one for me again I've said it so many times but I love working out and like blasting music and wearing a cute workout set like that is like one of my favorite things
to do ever and it gets me in such a good mood also I just built a puzzle for like the first time in so many years last week and I had a blast doing that so anything like that anything crafty anything that you can let your creative Juices Flow is so fun to do on your own and also I feel like it's super important to incorporate creativity into your day-to-day life because as a content creator creativity is just it's like something that I do daily but a lot of my friends have realized you know they're
working and then when they're not working they're resting or they're just seeing friends they're not really using their creative juices and I feel like it's just so important it makes you feel so good and it's so important I feel like to have some sort of creative Outlet so if you don't have one already I highly recommend it and find one that you really enjoy doing and that sticks with you okay I kind of touched on this already but someone just said have you ever drowned in your own thoughts while living alone and yes that is
a big one that is probably one of the big reasons for why I was so stressed this past year which which is just like overthinking and stuff how to cope with moving away from your parents when you have a super close relationship it can be such a big thing and it's so sad honestly to move away from your parents but I think you need to realize that your parents kind of expected this like they even though they're gonna be so sad they knew that they gotta let your wings fly and that you are gonna go
through an age where you're gonna move out and you're gonna have to be your own person and even though it's so sad they're gonna be so happy for you and you also have to realize that it's gonna happen sooner or later and if you're not ready to move out yet then don't spend time with your family or if you are going to move out maybe don't move so far away from them but just know that it's a part of the process and it's gonna happen sooner or later I would highly recommend just calling them like
every single day and finding new people that make you feel at home and like their family honestly I'm a big Advocate I guess of like your family doesn't just have to be your immediate family but it can be your chosen family so whether that be friends or maybe a significant other just having people that feel so close to you that you don't have to feel so Reliant off your parents I think you have other people that feel just as close to you anyways I feel like I've rambled on for way too long I hope that
you guys enjoyed this episode it was a little bit more of a personal one and talking about my own personal experience but I hope you enjoyed it learned something new maybe got a new tip out of it um and yeah I love you guys I hope you're having the best day and I will see you guys next week with a brand new episode of better you and yeah I love you thank you so much for listening to the end if you made it till the end you are a queen or King love you see you
later [Music]
