Once The Avoidant "Takes Space" They Realize THIS!

dismissive avoidant no contact once the avoidant has taken space from your relationship they're going to realize something that's pretty important and we're going to talk about the three things that they're thinking and feeling while they take space and how that's going to determine what they do next about your relationship hi I'm Kata morosa I'm an attachment coach and certified narm practitioner on this channel we explore attachment Dynamics in relationships so that we can understand both ourselves and each other and have the love that we want if that sounds helpful to you then definitely hit subscribe

99% of the people that I coach have an avoidant partner at least seven out of every 10 people that I talk to have had their Avo avoidant partner leave once already so we know that avoidance do come back now of course this isn't the case for all avoidance but let's discuss what happens for the avoidant during no contact once they've taken space so once the avoidant takes space they will come to a fork in the road where they have a choice to make do they want to do what they often do which is walk away

forever and move on to the next relationship or do they want to come back to your relationship and try to make it work in order to determine what they will do we have to hit rewind to understand how they got to that fork in the road in the first place and that means that we need to cover three things first why they took space in the first place next what they experience when they take space and finally what they will do once they've taken the space that they need first a dismissive avoidant takes space for

one major reason because they are emotionally triggered and they start to check out from the relationship basically what this means is that the avoidant has a lack of tools to manage or deal with uncomfortable relationship emotions and their default tool is to distract and redirect away from the thing that feels uncomfortable which in this case is the relationship this reaction can happen in response to a stressor in the relationship like an argument or it can happen in response to life or work stress or even to growing Intimacy in the relationship so for instance you're entering

into a new level of commitment in your relationship next let's talk about what they experience when they take space and how they interpret what they're feeling so basically what do they say to themselves about what it is that they're feeling real quick it's important to note that each person is unique and every relationship has its nuances so what someone with an avoidance style goes through can vary a lot so for a personalized assessment of your situation I recommend booking a one-on-one coaching session you can do that right up here okay so in certain situations people

with an avoidance style May genuinely believe that taking space is the right decision for them they may even consider it the best option for both of you at least that's what they tell themselves while emotionally they will also feel a sense of relief and I know you've probably heard this from other videos but we're going to go a little bit deeper here this is important because what they do with this feeling will determine what they do once they have taken the space that they so need the relief can come in response to a few different

things so first they feel relief because their life and responsibilities were becoming unmanageable so they take space to well have less to manage and then they feel reliefed because now they have quite frankly less things to think about and they can focus on their own life and other responsibilities without worrying about the added duty of a relationship this may seem like a pretty drastic choice to make and you may wonder why the avoidant can't communicate what's going on with them and I think that's a really good question if you in a relationship with them but

remember this attachment style is the hyper independent one the one who struggles to be vulnerable and show that they need support and has a hard time relying and trusting others now let's move into the second reason they feel relief they feel relief because the relationship was stressful for them maybe they felt overwhelmed or smothered in the relationship which can often be the case in the anxious avoidant Dynamic and third it's possible that they actually misin the feeling of relief as a reaction or response to being away from your relationship this can come out of their

past because people with this attachment style can often experience relationships themselves as stressful even if their partner didn't do anything wrong so what does all of this mean basically if they feel a sense of relief and think oh my gosh that was so stressful and they attribute it to your relationship the likelihood is high that they won't come back as they have no tools to navigate this type of stress with you and because they view your relationship in an unhealthy light however if they realized that their relief that the emotions that they were feeling was

a reaction to them having too much going on in their life and not because of your relationship once that external life stress diminishes and they feel like they have control over their life again they are much more likely to be open to reconnecting now will they reach out to you once they are out of that stressful situation really depends on the person and on your relationship the dismissive avoidant who is still very much invested in the relationship will and the avoidant who has some secure parts will likely be more willing to re-engage so is is

there any way for you to know what your avoidant is feeling and thinking and how they're interpreting your unique situation well I think what you want to look at is what happened right before they took the space that will give you some insight into what they could be feeling and thinking right now when I work with clients that's one of the first things we look at is everything that led up to them taking space remember most of the time people don't leave for no reason even if it feels that way they leave because something triggered

them and their survival response or the the tool that they have to rely on is to distance themselves and pull away now I know that it can make you feel incredibly anxious when your partner takes space suddenly and you don't know when they will come back you may even wonder what taking space means for them and how long they are going to take if if you'd like support with feeling more at ease about your situation understanding your situation a bit more and if you'd like a plan on what's the best course of action with your

partner then I recommend booking a one-on-one session where I can hear your relationship story assess your situation and give you a customized plan for what to do next if one is warranted you can book that using the link in the pined comments or in the description did you like this video If if you did give me a thumbs up and subscribe if you want to watch more content that supports you in understanding your avoidant partner and helps you become secure in your relationships next up is my video on the dismissive avoidant and what they feel

when they act cold that's going to be right up here thanks so much for watching and I will see you on the next one