I'm Brooklyn khah I'm 23 years old and I have a 4-month-old baby I never thought I'd be a single mom at this age but here I am sitting in my cousin's apartment trying to figure out what's next this wasn't the plan I wanted to go back home after my breakup back to my parents where I thought I'd feel safe but they didn't have room for me not with my baby they didn't say it like that but I knew what they meant I pretended it was fine told them I'd figure it out and I did I
guess Kendrick my cousin offered to let me stay with him he's 232 and has his own place a two-bedroom apartment on the ground floor it's not big but it's enough for now I didn't have many other options so I packed my stuff and moved in I should feel lucky he didn't make it weird or awkward he just told me I could stay as long as I needed and he's good with my baby which helps more than I want to admit but the truth Ruth I feel like I'm walking around with a secret I can't escape
because Kendrick isn't just my cousin four years ago we went to France for a family vacation that trip changed everything I still remember getting to the hotel unpacking and heading out to see the SES it was beautiful narrow streets colorful markets and little cafes tucked into Corners I should have been focused on all of that but instead I kept noticing the way girls looked at Kendrick he's always been good-looking and I hated how much I noticed it it was worse seeing how other girls noticed too they wore tiny shorts and tank tops giggling and flipping
their hair hoping he'd look their way and sometimes he did I hated it I hated how it made me feel invisible I don't think I even realized what I was doing at first I started dressing differently short skirts low cut tops I told myself it didn't mean anything that I just wanted to feel confident but deep down I wanted him to look at me the way he looked at them and when he didn't it made me try harder one night everything came to a head we were at the hotel bar I'd had a few drinks
too many probably I saw these two older women talking to him touching his arm laughing too loud I felt something snap some guy at the bar was buying me drinks but I couldn't focus on him all I could think about was Kendrick so I walked over and pulled him away from those women I don't even remember exactly what I said just that I was mad mad that he wasn't paying attention to me he said I looked good that's all it took one compliment and suddenly everything shifted after that things happened fast we went back to
my room I changed into pajamas and before I could think too much about it he kissed me I didn't stop him him I didn't even try we slept together twice when the trip ended we acted like nothing happened back home there were moments at Family parties in his house when no one else was around where it felt like it might happen again but it didn't I buried it I moved on I dated other people and now I have a baby with a man who walked away the minute things got hard and somehow I'm right back
here in k R's apartment sleeping in his spare room pretending everything is fine but it's not I still feel it that tension between us and it scares me I keep telling myself it's temporary that I just need to get back on my feet save some money and move out but every time I catch him looking at me or see him holding my baby I wonder if I'm lying to myself don't forget to like share and subscribe to this channel if you're enjoying the story so far it helps more than you know and there's plenty more
to come now let's get back to it the Summer I Turned 19 my family decided to take a twoe trip to France it was supposed to be one of those perfect vacations city tours beaches and endless sightseeing I didn't expect it to change my life the way it did I remember stepping off the plane already exhausted and seeing Kendrick waiting at baggage claim he looked different older more confident ident his hair was shorter than before and he'd filled out in ways I hadn't noticed until that moment girls noticed too it started almost immediately at the
hotel lobby a group of girls in short skirts kept glancing his way on the streets women stared as we walked by I don't know why it bothered me so much I told myself it was just protective cousin stuff but that wasn't true I hated how much attention he got and I hated how invisible it made me feel by the third day I was done pretending it didn't bother me I started dressing differently skirts instead of jeans tops that dipped lower than usual I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror but I lik the way heads
turned when I walked past and Kendrick noticed not right away but enough we were at a museum when I caught him looking I wasn't even trying to get his attention then I was just leaning over a glass display case but when I glanced up his eyes were already on me he looked away too quickly and something about that made me feel powerful that night at the hotel bar things shifted I'd had a few drinks enough to feel warm and a little reckless Kendrick was sitting at the bar surrounded by two older women who couldn't stop
touching his arm and laughing too loud they were practically draped over him I told myself I didn't care but my stomach burned some guy had been buying me drinks but I didn't even know his name I just kept glancing at Kendrick waiting for him to look my way he didn't I couldn't take it anymore I walked over pulled Kendrick aside and told him I was mad I didn't even make sense I just blurted out that he wasn't paying attention to me he laughed at first but then he got serious he told me I looked good
said I'd been Turning Heads all night I don't know what it was about hearing that from him but it made my skin tingle before I could respond the guy who'd been buying me drinks came over he grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back to the bar Kendrick didn't even hesitate he stepped between us and told the guy to back off the guy shoved Kendrick and for a second I thought it was going to turn into something worse but Kendrick stood his ground and eventually the guy backed off I don't know what came over
me after that maybe it was relief or maybe it was the way Kendrick looked at me when it was just the two of us again we went back to my room I changed into pajamas and before I could even think about what I was doing Kendrick kissed me I didn't stop him it was slow at first like we were both waiting for the other person to pull away but no one did it didn't feel wrong in that moment it felt inevitable we slept together twice the next morning we didn't talk about it we went back
to being cousins back to sightseeing and pretending nothing had happened but the air between us was different after that every look felt heavier every touch lasted a little longer than it should have and then we went home and the secret stayed between us going home after that trip felt like stepping back into reality but nothing about it felt real Kendrick and I didn't talk about what happened in France we didn't make any promises we didn't even say it was a mistake we just acted like it didn't happen but it lingered the first family gathering after
the trip was the hardest I remember walking into my aunt's house and seeing Kendrick across the room he was laughing with his brother completely at ease like he hadn't been in my bed just weeks before I kept telling myself to act normal but my eyes wouldn't stop drifting to him every time he moved I noticed every time he looked my way I felt it then it started Little Things he'd catch my eye from across the table and smirk like we shared some secret or he'd walk past me brushing my arm just enough to make my
skin burn at one point he leaned in and whispered something about how different I looked how grown up I laughed it off but inside I couldn't breathe the worst part no one noticed no one questioned why we seemed closer or why I couldn't look him in the eye for too long and that made it worse I started dating not long after it wasn't serious just just a way to distract myself I told myself I was moving on that Kendrick was my cousin and what happened was just a mistake I even believed it sometimes but then
there'd be another family party and he'd find a way to get me alone once I was helping set up food in the kitchen everyone else was outside and Kendrick came in behind me he stood too close and I could feel the heat off his body you good he asked I nodded but my hands were shaking then he reached past me for a plate brushing against my back like it was an accident it wasn't I didn't stop him that's what kept me up at night the fact that I let it happen that even though we never
crossed the line again I let myself get pulled back into those moments where it felt like we might but we didn't and eventually I told myself it didn't matter I met someone fell in love or at least I thought I did and when I found out I was pregnant I thought that was it that I was starting over and Kendrick would just be part of my past but even then he didn't fade completely when I told him I was pregnant he congratulated me but his eyes said something else I didn't ask what and now after
everything here I am back in his apartment it's been 4 years but it doesn't feel that long some days it feels like no time has passed at all moving in with Kendrick felt like stepping into a storm I wasn't ready for the first night I sat on the edge of the unfamiliar bed in his spare room rocking my baby to sleep I tried to pretend I wasn't hyper aware of Kendrick in the Next Room his voice faint through the wall as he talked to someone on the phone his footsteps slow and heavy from the limp
he hadn't fully recovered from I told myself it was temporary a few months maybe less just enough time to get a job and save up for my own place that's what I told him too and he didn't argue he just handed me the key and said stay as long as you need but being here brought everything back I wasn't expecting him to be so good with my daughter the first time he picked her up she curled right into him like she'd known him forever he joked about how she liked him more than me and I
laughed but it hit me harder than I wanted to admit he made it easy too easy he helped with feedings when I needed a break folded laundry without being asked and always seemed to know when I was on the verge of breaking down one night after a long day of job hunting and rejection emails I walked into the living room and found him on the couch with my baby asleep on his chest the TV was on but he wasn't watching it he was just staring at her his fingers lightly brushing her tiny hand I froze
for a second I let myself picture it the three of us as a family and then I hated myself for thinking it because Kendrick wasn't hers and he wasn't mine the guilt ate at me but it didn't stop the thoughts every time he touched my shoulder or brushed past me in the kitchen it felt like my skin was on fire and the way he looked at me sometimes like he was remembering too made it even harder I kept telling myself he wasn't the same Kendrick I met in France he wasn't The Confident Carefree guy who
made me feel like the only girl in the room he'd been through a lot the car accident happened a year before I moved in some drunk driver ran a red light and hit him head on Kendrick broke his shin and hip and had a concussion that messed him up for months he still walked with a limp and some days the pain slowed him down so much I could see the frustration in his eyes but he never let it show for long he joked about it laughed off the limp and insisted he didn't need help even
when it was clear he did I think that's what scared me the most seeing him vulnerable made it harder to keep my guard up one afternoon I came home to find him on the couch trying and failing to lift a box of baby supplies I'd ordered let me help I said reaching for it I got it he grumbled wincing as he shifted his weight I crossed my arms Kendrick he sighed finally letting go of the Box fine but don't tell anyone I've got a reputation to protect I smiled but it felt too easy too natural
later that night after my baby fell asleep I found myself sitting beside him on the couch neither of us said anything at first and then he looked at me you're doing good you know he said softly with her with everything I wanted to believe him but the way he said it the way he looked at me when he did made my chest tighten I don't know if it was the exhaustion or the way his voice softened when he talked about my daughter but in that moment it felt like the walls I'd built around myself were
crumbling and that terrified me more than anything the tension started creeping back in before I even noticed it at first it was subtle little things Kendrick would brush past me in the hallway his hand barely grazing my lower back and I'd feel it linger long after he was gone or he'd hold my baby and look up at me with this softness in his eyes that made my stomach twist I told myself it didn't mean anything that it was just the exhaustion playing tricks on me but then came the comments you're amazing with her he said
one night while watching me rock my baby to sleep seriously I don't know how you do it his voice was low almost like he didn't mean for me to hear it I froze for a second before forcing a smile you get used to it but he didn't drop it no I mean it he said you're stronger than you think I wanted to brush it off but I couldn't his words stuck with me circling my head long after he left the room and that's when it started again the jealousy Kendrick wasn't exactly subtle when it came
to women he'd get texts late at night and sometimes I'd catch him smiling at his phone I ha hated how much it bothered me especially when I had no right to feel that way the first time I saw him leaving the apartment dressed up it hit me harder than I expected I tried to play at cool asking where he was going without making it obvious that I cared grabbing drinks he said slipping on his jacket I won't be late I nodded and smiled pretending not to notice the way he adjusted his collar in the mirror
but the moment the door closed behind him I felt sick I spent the next two hours pacing the apartment checking my phone and trying to convince myself it didn't matter but it did when he came back his shirt was a little wrinkled and his hair looked like someone had run their fingers through it he didn't say much just gave me a tired smile and asked if the baby had been good I wanted to ask about the girl instead I said good night and went to my room but sleep didn't come easily that night the tension
kept building building after that it was in the way he looked at me in the way he touched me without thinking adjusting a strand of hair that had fallen into my face or brushing his hand against mine when he passed me something once he caught me staring at him he didn't say anything but his lips curled into a small smile before he looked away and that's when I knew this wasn't just me imagining things it was real the lines were blurring and I didn't know how to stop it I kept reminding myself that Kendrick was
family that we had already crossed a line we shouldn't have and it nearly broke me the first time but then he'd looked at me like that like I was the only one in the room and all those arguments I rehearsed in my head disappeared I wanted him and that scared me more than anything it happened on a night when everything already felt too heavy the baby had been crying for hours and nothing I did seemed to help I paced the apartment bouncing her in my arms until my back achd and my legs felt like they
might give out by the time Kendrick came home my eyes were swollen from crying and I didn't even care that I looked a mess he took one look at me didn't say a word and reached out for the baby she probably just needs a change he said calm as ever like my entire world wasn't unraveling I handed her over without arguing and sank onto the couch I didn't realize I was crying again until Kendrick sat down beside me my daughter da already asleep in his arms she's fine now he said softly but I wasn't I
broke I didn't even know where to start words poured out of me about my ex how he walked away when things got hard how I felt like I wasn't enough like I'd already failed as a mom Kendrick listened without interrupting he just sat there holding my baby like it was the easiest thing in the world when I fin stopped talking he didn't try to fix it he didn't tell me it would all be okay or that I was overthinking instead he said you didn't deserve any of that I looked at him and the way he
said it the softness in his voice made my throat tighten he set the baby down in the bassinet then turned back to me you're not alone Brooklyn I wanted to believe him and then it happened it wasn't planned one second we were sitting there there and the next his hand was on my cheek brushing away a tear I didn't even realize had fallen I should have pulled away I didn't when he kissed me I let him it wasn't soft or hesitant it was desperate like neither of us could stop even if we wanted to for
a moment it didn't feel wrong but then it hit me I pulled back my breathing uneven my heart pounding this is wrong I whispered Kendrick didn't move move I know he said but his voice sounded strained like he didn't believe it any more than I did he reached for my hand and I didn't stop him I wanted to I told myself I would but when his fingers laced through mine it felt too familiar too safe to let go and just like that the walls I'd spent years building Came Crashing Down we didn't talk after that
not about what it meant or what we were supposed to do now I didn't sleep that night every time I closed my eyes I saw him his hands his mouth the way he looked at me when it was over and the worst part I wanted more even as the guilt sank in twisting my stomach into knots I wanted more I woke up the next morning with a sinking feeling in my chest Kendrick wasn't in the apartment the baby was still asleep but the room felt heavy like it couldn't hold what happened the night before my
lips still tingled my skin still burned where his hands had been but my stomach churned what the hell had I done I sat on the edge of the bed my hands shaking I kept replaying it the kiss the way we couldn't stop the way I didn't want to stop I told myself it was just the Heat of the Moment I was emotional vulnerable he was comforting me and it got out of hand that's all it was right but deep down I knew better when Kendrick came home later that morning the tension hit immediately he said
hey like it was any other day but I saw it in his eyes he was nervous I pretended to be busy folding baby clothes my head down morning did she sleep okay yeah neither of us mentioned what happened the next few days were a blur I threw myself into the baby feeding cleaning rocking her to sleep anything to avoid Kendrick he gave me space but it didn't help it made it worse because every time we crossed paths whether it was passing each other in the hallway or sitting across the living room it was there the
tension the guilt the want I couldn't stop thinking about it and that scared me more than anything I thought about leaving packing up and going anywhere else but where my parents house was still out of the question and I didn't have enough money saved for my own place and then there was the baby she needed stability she needed me to keep it together so I stayed but staying meant watching Kendrick try to act normal even when I could tell he was struggling too it also meant meeting his girlfriend her name was lyanna Rubio she wasn't
his girlfriend not officially but it was clear she wanted to be she came over one evening all long legs and perfect hair carrying t out and laughing at every joke Kendrick made I hated her immediately I hated the way she leaned into him the way he let her but most of all I hated how much it bothered me she was nice too nice she asked about the baby offered to help and complimented my outfit but the whole time her eyes kept flicking between me and Kendrick like she was trying to figure something out I knew
she saw it the way Kendrick tens up when I walked into the room the way he avoided looking at me when she was around later that night after she left Kendrick knocked on my door can we talk I shook my head not tonight he hesitated then nodded and walked away I wanted to cry but I didn't instead I sat in the dark staring at my baby and wondering how I let things get this bad it all came crashing down faster than I thought it would lyanna showed up unannounced one afternoon all smiles and sugary sweetness
but her eyes told a different story Kendrick wasn't home just me and the baby she stood at the door holding a plastic bag filled with baby clothes I saw these and thought of her she said stepping inside without waiting for me to invite her I forced a smile and took the bag that's really thoughtful of course she said her eyes scanning the apartment I just wanted to check in make sure you're okay the way she said it made my stomach twist I'm fine she leaned against the counter arms crossed you and Kendrick seem close I
froze what's that supposed to mean she tilted her head her smile sharp now I'm not stupid Brooklyn and I opened my mouth to defend myself but nothing came out look I don't know what's going on between you two but whatever it is it's it's not fair not to me not to your baby the words hit like a slap I I wanted to scream at her tell her she didn't know anything about me or my life but the truth sat heavy in my chest because she wasn't wrong she stepped closer you need to figure out what
you want but if you think I'm just going to sit back and let you ruin Kendrick's life you're wrong I didn't say anything I couldn't when she left the apartment felt smaller like the walls were closing in I spent the rest of the day avoiding Kendrick but by the time the baby fell asleep I knew I couldn't keep running from this I found him in the living room sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone he looked up when I walked in his expression unreadable we need to talk I said he nodded and set his
phone down for a second neither of us spoke then it all came out I told him everything how how I couldn't stop thinking about France how being here with him made it impossible to move on how I hated myself for wanting him even when I knew it was wrong by the time I finished my hands were shaking Kendrick didn't look away I feel it too he said quietly those four words knocked the air out of me but I don't know what to do he admitted you're my cousin Brooklyn we're not supposed to feel this way
I sat down beside him my heart pounding so what now he shook his head running a hand through his hair I don't know we sat there in Silence the weight of it all pressing down on us I can't lose you I said finally you won't he said but his voice was strained I wanted to believe him but the truth was there wasn't an easy answer we could keep pretending acting like nothing happened but that wouldn't make it go away or we could walk away completely cut ties even if it shattered me or we could do
the unthinkable be together and risk everything I sat awake that night staring at the ceiling while my baby slept soundly in the bassinet beside me my mind kept replaying the conversation with Kendrick his words my words the weight of it all felt unbearable he felt it too that should have made me feel better but it didn't if anything it made it worse wor because now I knew I wasn't crazy it wasn't just me but knowing didn't make it any easier I thought about my daughter the tiny person who needed me more than anyone ever had
she didn't ask for this mess she didn't deserve to be dragged into my chaos I couldn't keep doing this the next morning Kendrick was already in the kitchen when I walked in he looked up and for a second we just stared at each other I broke the silence first I can't he sat down his coffee mug can't what this my voice cracked I can't keep pretending it's not there but I also can't let it ruin everything he didn't speak right away and I hated the look on his face the hurt mixed with something else acceptance
maybe I get it he said finally I felt my chest tighten do you he nodded you're right right your baby comes first I swallowed hard fighting the tears threatening to Spill and you you need someone who isn't this he didn't argue he just stepped closer resting his hand lightly on my arm I'm still here Brooklyn I'm not going anywhere his words were supposed to make me feel better but they only made it harder I stepped back creating space between us even though it hurt to do it I need time to figure my myself out to
figure out what this is he didn't fight it he just nodded his jaw tight for the next few weeks we kept things surface level he still helped with the baby still checked on me but the touches stopped the lingering glances faded we acted like nothing had ever happened but some nights after the baby was asleep I'd find myself lying in bed wondering if it was really over or if it was just paused because the truth was Kendrick wasn't just my past he was still in my present and I wasn't sure if I'd ever be ready
to let him go completely thank you so much for sticking with me through this story if it resonated with you or made you feel something please take a moment to like this video it helps more than you know and if you think someone else might need to hear this share it sometimes stories like this can be the push someone needs to start healing also don't forget to subscribe there are more stories like this real raw and honest and I'd love for you to be here for the next one
