my name is Ernie Whitaker my pronouns are I me he him she her we they us sometimes I even use Shakespearean pronouns which are the thou thy thyself and ye I'm transgender non-binary gender conforming gender fluid just to name a few as you all know the trans movement is the fastest growing movement out there so I figured why not get involved in the ground level and use it to my advantage for instance whenever I'm late to work which happens a lot I'm not gonna lie I just self-identify as translate not translate like a language translate
but you guys know what I'm talking about that's someone who's late but identifies as being on time I thought of that one myself I'm not gonna lie it is uh challenging having somebody like Ernie in the office but due to diversity requirements we have to have he him she her we they don't forget about us sorry and us in the office around lunchtime I identify as Sacha Petrov she's a 45 year old Russian prostitute being Sasha has many perks for one I get to use the women's bathroom which is great I mean obviously [Applause] it's
way cleaner than the men's bathroom and my female co-workers are very accepting and understanding flush Sasha craps like a wild boar sometimes I have to pee outside in the bushes because I can't handle the smell it's nauseating I'm sorry I also make men from work take me to lunch hey A girl's got to eat you know what I'm saying huh I totally support this whole trans movie if a guy wants to be a girl I respect that and to be completely honest I haven't been on a date in over a year so I'll take anything
I can get anything I also love all the attention I get who wouldn't I mean we ought to know the session so I have to find ways to supplement my income gold capitalism I love America I'm also a transplant that's why I identify as a tree it's very liberating because I get to be outside which I love but it does backfire sometimes [Music] after lunch I identify as trans abled that someone who identifies as being handicapped I do this purely to get out of working a few hours of the day huh up over here yes
you know you're not blind right [Music] shut up I don't want them to know relax later in the day I identify as trans-racial and become a black dude from Brooklyn my name is Tyrone but my boys call me Tyrese you feel me Brooklyn stand up Sarah want to do lunch you shut up white boy I'm trying to shoot damn yo yo yo if you step to me dog I have to pull the trigger don't let that baby Chase fool you I'm a real ass what the thank you where'd he go I'm also transparent that's identifying
as not being present I do this to get myself out of sticky situations just like this and lastly I like to identify as a Transformer I'm more than meets the eye help [Music] [Music]
