GTA Vice City: The Nextgen Edition - Full Game Walkthrough in 4K

Tommy Vetti. Huh? [ __ ] Didn't they ever let him out? >> He kept his head down. Helps people forget. People will remember soon enough when they see him walking down the streets of their neighborhoods. It will be bad for business. >> Well, what are we going to do, son? >> We treat him like an old friend and keep him busy out of town. Okay, we've been talking about expanding down south, Right? Vice City is 24 karat gold these days. The Colombians, the Mexicans, hell, even those Cuban refugees are cutting themselves a piece of some

nice action. But it's all drugs, Sunny. None of the families will touch that [ __ ] >> Times are changing. The families can't keep the backs turned while our enemies reap the rewards. So, we send someone down to do the dirty work for us and cut ourselves a nice quiet slice. Okay. Who's our contact Down there? >> Ken Rosenberg. Smoker of a lawyer. How else he going to hold Vetti's leash? >> We don't need him to. We just set him loose in Vice City. We give him a little cash to get started. Okay. Give it

a few months. Then we go down, pay him a little visit, right? See how he's doing. Hey, hey guys. It's uh Ken Rosenberg here. Hey. Hey. Hey. Great. Hey. Well, uh I'm going to drive you guys to the meet. Okay. Now, I've talked to the Suppliers and they are very keen to start a business relationship. So, uh if all goes well, we should uh be doing very nicely for ourselves, which is, you know, good. Okay. So, they're brothers, okay? One operates the uh the business and the other one does the flying. Okay, that's them in

the chopper. All right, here's the deal. They want a straight exchange on open ground. All right. Okay, stay tight. Let's go. [Music] got it. >> 100% pure gradea Colombian, my friend. >> Let me see it. >> The greens >> tens and 20s used. >> I think we have a deal, my friend. Oh [ __ ] >> Come on. Get out of here. [Music] Why? [Music] [Music] Why? [Music] [Music] Woo! my head out of the gutter for one freaking second and fate shovel [ __ ] in my face. >> Go get some sleep. >> What are

you going to do? >> I'll drop by your office tomorrow and we can start sorting this mess out. [Music] leather tracksuit. Absurdly bad dick. >> We interrupt your programming with a message from the State Department. All bridges and some roads in the Vice City metropolitan area have been closed because of a severe weather warning. Meteorologists are tracking Hurricane Hermione, which has devastated five Caribbean islands and is heading for Vice City. More updates soon. >> As death in tight pants and known to his Enemies as Oh my god, I just got flattened by a truck. How

is that fair? It's sports legend BJ Smith. So BJ, welcome. >> Thanks. It's a real pleasure to be here. >> Oh, I know. Yes. [Music] >> Hello, Sunny. >> Tommy. Tommy, it's been too long. >> I know. I know. You're just overwhelmed with emotion. 15 years. >> Seems like only yesterday. >> I guess that's a perspective thing. >> Hey, doing time for the family is no piece of cake, but the family looks after its own. Okay. So, how' the deal go down? You sitting on some white gold? >> Look, Sunny, we were set up. The

deal was an ambush. Harry and Lee are dead. >> You better be kidding me, Tommy. Tell me you still got the money. >> No, Sunny, I don't have the money. >> That was my money, Tommy. My money. You better not be screwing me, Tommy, because you know I'm not a man to be screwed with. >> Wait, Sunny, you have my personal assurance and I'm going to get you your money back and the drugs and I'm going to mail you the dicks of those responsible. >> Hey, I already know that. You're not a fool, Tommy. some

sleep. He says, "I have been sitting in this chair all night with the Lights off drinking coffee. This is a disaster. We are so screwed, man. These gorillas, listen to me, are going to come down here and rip my head off. It's ridiculous. I did not go to law school for this." Okay, now what the hell are we going to do? Shut up. Sit down. Relax. I'll tell you what we're going to do. You're going to find out who took our cocaine and then I'm going to kill them. That's A good idea. That's a great

idea. Let me think. Let me think. Let me think. Oh, there's this retired colonel, Colonel Juan Garcia Cortez. He's the one that helped me set up this deal well away from Vice City's established thugs. Okay, now listen. He's holding his party out in the bay on his expensive yacht and all of Vice City's big players are going to be there. Okay, I have an invite. Of course I have an invite. But there's no way that I'm going out there Sticking my head out the door. No way right now. >> I told you. Shut up. I'll

go myself. >> Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, I like 1978, too, but you know, this isn't going to be a beard strippers do. I mean, no offense, but I think that you might turn heads on the runway for the wrong reason with the way I'm dressed. >> Okay, look here. Stop by Raphael's. Tell him I sent you. He'll make you look respectable. Okay, go. Come on. >> What does that guy think he is? Now I got to dress like a chump as well as hang out with them. I like this shirt >> because I love

animals. A animals and publicity and stuff, but I love animals. I love them. >> Me too. >> That's the thing, babe. We all love animals, but we don't know too much about them. That's what I'm here to tell you about that am of course. So, what about animals? >> Well, it's interesting, right? Not a lot of folks realize that we're 90% of the same as a fly or a cockroach or a kitchen. That's new signs out there called gymnastics, I think, which is going to be real popular real soon. >> Nice bike. No, my bike.

Do yourself a favor. Pick up your telephone call now. 18669. Save me. What better place to witness 40,000 years of nuclear winter than from The comfort of your very own space ready nuclear? When we raise 25 million, we will build a 50s story tall likeness of me. If we raise 300 million, the statue will rotate so I can look over this great city and cast an evil eye on degenerates. And when the eminent nuclear strike occurs, Contribute [Music] to the Pastor Richard Salvation Statue Fund. Pick up your telephone. [Music] I understand you are here on

the behalf of Mr. Rosenberg. I hope any recent problems have not affected his health or mental well-being. Mr. >> Brcetti, he's just got a touch of agorophobia. >> Excellent. Excellent. And you? >> I just want my merchandise. Ah, it's an unfortunate set of circumstances for all involved. Of course, I have initiated my own lines of inquiry, but such a Delicate matter will take time. Perhaps we'll talk later. Meanwhile, let me introduce you to my daughter, Mr. Edis. Kamia, could you look after our guest while I attend to my necessary? >> Of course, daddy. >> Please

excuse me. >> Mercedes, >> you try living with him. Anyway, let me point out some of our more distinguished guests. That's our congressman, Alex Shrub with rising silicone star, Candy S. >> And have you met my lovely wife, Laura? Nope. Well, unfortunately, she's in Alabama. This is Candy. >> And over there, we have the Vice City Mamba Star Titan, PJ. Always the charmer. >> I blocked down on him and then I put him in a wheelchair. >> That is good. Well, now I'm looking at some prime. And that poolside amphibian is Jez Torrent, lead singer

with Love Fist. >> Can I tell you? Do you know how they play pingpong? It's silence. Let me tell you, it does not involve a battle, if you know what >> impotent. And the chatty trio, that sleeping sweat gland is Papa's right-hand [ __ ] Gonzalez. And the other two are Pastar Richards and pseudo intellectual film director Steve Scott throws a passion with the NO invaders when the giant shark comes in and just Bites their dicks off. Now you never saw anything like that before. >> Colonel, your party's as a triumph. I can only apologize.

>> Oh, amigo. How do we find you? >> Our business is very tribarians at the gate. A time for rewarding one's friends and liquidating one's enemies. Amigo, >> who's the loud mouth? >> Ricardo Diaz. He's Mr. Co. >> Meer this. >> Oh, I was just taking my friend back Into town another time. Ricardo. >> Ricardo, let's go. >> Let's get out of here. >> Actually, take me to the proposition. >> Drinks and judge us. Come on, Rico. and save me. >> Wow, I like really dig your motorcycle. >> Will you be working for my father?

>> Maybe. >> So difficult having a rich and powerful father. >> I'm Amy Shakenhousen. My next guest is a Rising star in the world of North mythology. He's appeared in several bestselling infomercials and traveled the globe speaking at corporate training camps. His books and audio cassettes are sold around the world. He is Valhalla's finest diy and motivational speaker. >> See you around, handsome. >> I'm sure you will. >> You I mean I know you [Music] Ah, well, I hope you're having a good time because I'm going out of my mind with worry here. What did

you find out? >> That there are more criminals in this town than in prison. We need a leaf from the streets. >> Okay, let me think. Let me think. Let me think. Ah, I got it. Okay, there's this limey some music industry slimeball goes by the name of Kent Paul. Anyway, he's got his nose so far up most of Vice City's ass that if anybody knows the Whereabouts of 20 keys of Coke, it's this guy. All right. He's always at the Malibu. >> I'll go pay him a visit. >> Take it easy now. >> Document

that should not be changed. >> Who is that? >> Wrong number, I think. >> No, it wasn't. >> Yeah, it wasn't bloody wrong number. He wanted a plumber and a Chinese. I was speaking from Australian. >> Okay, cool. Uh, what was it about the area? >> Nothing, babe. All in the past, long time ago, I was tricked from the same school. I regret it. >> Oh, cool. That happens to me all the time. >> I can see that, love. >> Yeah, big mistake. Never trust me. Never. Only trust. >> Okay. And what did he make?

>> Nothing, babe. >> It was a long time ago. Look, I've got a little surprise for you. It's a little female prey. >> Where'd you pop up from? I've been looking for a bird like you for ages, mate. >> You know why? >> Looking for some English guy. >> Kent Paul. >> Kent Paul, mate. >> Yeah, I'm the governor, Andy. I'll sort things out. You know what I mean? I'll Treat you whatever you want. I'll get you, girl. Don't you worry about a thing, mate. >> You're lost, honey. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> You

Ken Paul. I'm a friend of Rosenbergs. >> Rosenberg? Rosenberg? Oh, that bonkers ambulance chaser. That guy could defend an innocent man all the way to death row. Gets another drink, Bro. >> Everybody's a comedian. Listen to me. I'm missing 20 keys and a lot of cash. >> Truck, mate. It's a mud. >> What do you know about it? O what I was coming to was there's some chef come trumpet shifter who deals at kitchen of hotel on Ocean Drive. He's been looking real pleased with himself lately. You could go and check him out. >> I

will and I'll be seeing you around. >> Yeah, that's right. Go and walk away you Mug. I knock you spark out. Give me a drink. And where's that [ __ ] >> No. They made me say I love you. >> No, I made my boyfriend say it and he slept with my best friend. I think we're bonding now. >> No, we ain't bonding. You have to fall apart. I hate you. They make me say I love you. Bobo. >> Who is Bobo? >> Bobo was the most beautiful creature that was ever on the earth. Ever

at all. Really >> beautiful. Who is she? >> Hey. Hey. Hey. >> Hey. Hey. >> Hey. What you looking at? You better start talking. Hey, make me, you prick. >> Come get me. >> Some more. >> Oh, way to go, tough guy. Beat him to a pulp. That should make him real chatty. >> You want some, too? >> Hey, chill. I want what you want, Brother. Oh yeah. And what's that? >> You're green and my dead brother's white lady. Unfortunately, you just silenced our lead. Accidents happen. Get lost. >> Hey. Hey. Whoa. No need to

go all long range on my ass. The way I see it. We two ombres in a strange town. We need to watch each other's back. >> My back's just fine, brother. You sure about that? Here. Take this. Follow me. [Music] This way. Come on. >> You think you're hot? [ __ ] huh? >> You think you mu, huh? >> One thing you got to realize about this town, you got to pack some heat. local gun shop. >> I got him in my sight. [Music] >> This rock. We're going to take a break and then hit

the bones in return that are hit very close. We rarely let the danger And when we do it's not safe. >> Okay, great. >> Get out of here. >> Oh. Uh, no bother. >> I never knew animals were so interesting. We'll be back after this. You're on Kat. Don't go away. >> Do yourself a favor. Pick up your telephone, call now 18669 save me. What better place to witness 40,000 years of than from the comfort of your very own space ready nuclear bomb. When we raise 25 million, we will build a 50 story. If we

raise 300 million, the statue will rotate so I can look over this great city and cast an eye on Deen. that when the eminent nucleus occurs, >> put faith into action with sufficiently generous contributions will join me inside the Pastor Richard Salvation Statue as we blast into space. Contribute to the Pastor Richard Salvation Statue fund. Pick up your Telephone. Call now 18669. Save me. [Music] >> Knights of the road. Here's your stallion. >> The car for hot excitement. >> The car for a man who was >> I'm going to go see what I can dig

up. I'll be watching you, Tommy. [Music] Oh, for God's sake, it's you. Oh, jeez. I'm going to need new pants. Hey, those psychos from up north, they've been on the horn and they're coming down here soon. Now, where is the goddamn money? >> Relax. Relax. We're not at that point yet. >> Oh, I thought that you were taking care of this. I really did. And now those Guidos say we got to do them a favor. >> You mean I got to do them a favor? >> Oh, of course that's what I mean. Do I look

like I can intimidate a jury? I Couldn't intimidate a child. And believe me, I've tried. Now look, it's either that or Felli's cousin, Giorgio, gets five years for fraud. You got to take these guys out. >> I understand. Help the jury change their minds. Don't worry about it. >> No, no, no, no, no, no. I tried that. The jury case didn't go so well. So, make them change their minds. >> All right, more crap to wipe up. What did I do wrong in the past life? [Music] Dumb Florida [ __ ] >> What's happening? [Music]

>> On the radio. Love. Stop dragging me down. I told you if you ride a whirlwind, don't be surprised when the dawn breaks. She's really getting on my nerves. Why are you waving your hands at me? Oh, I'm supposed to go to commercial. I'll be right back. >> Harry, the farewell ranch. They say to go to you. >> Is this for a TV show? >> Let me show you my studio, baby. Hey man. My god. Leave my damn car alone, man. Oh, please God, someone help me. Still got payments to make on this. [Music] Okay,

man. I get the message. >> You know he's not guilty. >> Giggle cream. It makes dessert funny. Asian pajamas, Chinese bandana, something missing with a throwing star. Kendo sticks or nunchucks at Vice City's one-stop shop for the silent fashion access. Wow, you look like a psych. Complete the look. >> Hi, I'm Amy and you're on Kad. Can you tell me about the music? >> I get. You know, we wear these costumes to appeal to the working man because after you spend a day working in a steel mill, you want to wear tight leather Clothes and

play in guitar. That's what we're about. The recent album was a musical trip through hell and I think it shows. >> Oh yeah, it does. >> I mean, I saw Satan. He didn't like what he saw. He saw darkness, but also ask man. I can find treasure in the dark. >> It's that. >> Yeah, that's the thing that typifies me as an artist. Heart and soul, head and trousers. >> I can't believe this is happening. >> You know he's not guilty. [Music] Avery, it goes without saying. Tommy. Tommy. Any progress? No. No. No. Tell me

later. Tell me later. Tommy, this is Avery Carrington. I believe you met at the party. >> Not in person. >> Howdy. >> Avery here has a proposition. >> Haven't we got other things on our mind? >> I'm trying to keep the wolves from the door. So, could you please cut me some slack? I'm stretched like a wire. And even if I'm dead by the end of the week, I'd like to think that I didn't die poor. >> Now, just calm down, both of you. >> Son, you help me. And any grease balls giving you a

hard time, I'll see to it they take a long dirt nap. >> Okay. What could I do for you? >> This delivery company has got its depot On some prime land. >> They won't sell. They're hanging on like a big old prairie rat. So, we got to go in there and smoke that vermin out. Head on down there and stir up a hornets nest. The security will have their hands full and then you can sneak in and put them out of business. >> And you could drop by Raphael's for a change of clothes. You might

be there a while, but yeah, go for it. Should be a riot. >> The balls drop like they should. Stop by my office sometime. >> Who are these pricks anyway? Lawyer pricks, rugwearing pricks, surrounded by pricks. >> Take a break and when we come back, take some phone calls because all the buttons are really flashing all of a sudden. You're on Hey, chat. The science of evolution has uncovered many of life mysteries like tadpoles for the pyramid. But the mystery of the Armpit remains. What's it for? Why is it hairy? And why do men have

nipples? You act like you're in high school. >> Functions in their tracks. It's as effective as sending GI into a peasant military. >> When you're fighting the war against personal hygiene, bring out the heavy artillery. This Friday night, it's the incredible sitcom that has captured America's heart and given the whole country a new Catchphrase. 5:42. [Applause] >> Just the five of us. After a mix up with the adoption agency, the Chesterfields came home with three zany new house guests. >> Jimmy, tell your go to bed. >> I'm so sick of this. I keep telling you

I'm scared to see. I look 12, but I'm a 42year-old investment banker. I want to go hell and slave. >> Oh yeah, and I'm Santa Claus now. >> Sticks out, boys. Let's crack some kind of skull. >> Sean, our posture suburban home must be [Applause] [Music] This is I'm and I'll tell you anything you need to know about animals. >> Mr. Versetti, Colonel, >> thank you for coming. Please sit. Lobster. No, thanks. I am ashamed to admit that One of the causes of our mutual problem appears to have been the loose tongue of a man

I used to trust. I've been carrying Gonzalez for years, but now his incompetence reaches new heights. is only right that you killed Gonzalez. >> Did he do it? It's the money that's important to me. >> For this kindness, I'll reward you. And then >> we will find your money together. >> He will be at his penthouse drunk. Probably >> use this. >> Do soon be a real A river of freedom, a river of hope, a river which runs from the coast to coast and cuts us off from the 47 states of waste rules and bad

influencers to the north. We are going to cut Florida off from the mainland of our oppressors and float out to sea. Then the nation of Florida will be free to start over. There'll be no longass lines at the log Flume or the pirate ship ride when I take over. You and the kids will be able to ride the rides all day. We will have a roller coaster for each and every Florida family. You know, you're bordering on Teresa. What you are saying is a very naughty thing and only because here on pressing issues do we

believe so wholeheartedly in free speech are we allowing it. It's the truth, my friend. The damn truth. And before you start, I am not a racist. I hate everybody Irrelevant of other issues. But I especially hate Yankees. By which I mean anyone from Georgia or further north. Build your own theme parks. Buy your own son. Throw your own damn mosquitoinfested swamp pal. We're going to build ourselves a river. FBI CI. I don't give a damn. They can't stop us. You shrug. You yellowbellied tie wearing taken hypocrite. What have you done for Vice City up there

in Washington? >> I've ensured important tax breaks for Gun retailers, real estate developers, and I've cut the cost of policing, saving the city 2% or 25 cents per household over a 6-year period at the expense of society. Think of the little people. Poor people have no voice in this city. Every time I find a park meditating, someone brings I'm going to shut that big mouth of yours. >> He's got a blade. >> Stop running, you fat slime ball. >> Me, [ __ ] Don't mess with me again. >> Please. I'm a sick man old. [Applause]

>> I'm not little. I'm 5'. It's time for corporations and all of capitalism to step aside for naturalism. You're not saving this planet. You're spending it. Credit is no good here. We can't afford to loan you any more of our nature. Those are our trees. I only wish I could be around a little longer to enjoy it. I think so long. Someone must take my Legacy. I must train a little me. How old are you? I'm 23, but I feel much older and wiser. I know everything. I've seen a lot of the world. What does

the rest of the world have to tell us about people elect their [Music] we spray paint our names on the walls of the mall to >> Tommy? Come and join me. This looks delicious, huh? Tap your snout. >> Oh, no, no, no thanks. >> Tommy, you are like a pompous breeze that has freed me from the stench of corruption. Although, I must appear to mourn his passing and carry on with business as usual. >> This isn't getting me any closer to my money. >> Tommy, my friend, you are not in liberty now. Here, we do

things differently. I will continue with my inquiries, but in the meantime, I have a valuable deal to Close. >> A favor for a friend, Cortez. You're a good friend, Tommy. I knew you would not let me down. I need you to meet a crier who has obtained some valuable technology for me. >> We're running out of time and you completely failed to answer any questions. >> I'm a professional. That's my job. >> And Mr. Hickory, what about you? >> All right. These problems are typical of What happens with an open border to the north. The

state is dealing up with trash. People who can't tell the difference between a swamp and a marsh. guys who don't know the first thing about the legality of marrying within the family. That's why we need a river. People, I'm telling you, pick up your spades, go into your garden, start digging as deep and as far as you can. Pretty soon, the whole state will be flooded and ruined. Then they'll have to Leave. We must build a moat to the north or they will come down and ruin this great state. And Mr. Hickory, were you born

in Florida? >> What a stupid question of all the cheek. Were you? >> Of course not. No one's been born in Florida since 1877. But I've been here for 5 years, which is a very long time. >> Yes, it is a very long time. Almost as long as this show. Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to pressing issues with Me. >> Debate on the radio in this episode of the rain. She's wet this time of the year. Come on. Look, Cortez sent me. Just give me the damn chips. >> Oh, American idiot. They followed you here.

Jonathan, we both don't mess with me again. Freeloader, public radio makeover is very important. You may have heard my recent hour-long story about my hike in the park. >> That was fascinating and very important for everyone, even the blind. Play selection, Jonathan. I think this is the part where I came to the big tree. >> I almost felt like I was there. You won't get this kind of nauseating detail on commercial radio. VCPR is 100% Commercial free. Absolutely nothing interrupts your enjoyment of our crime programming and ability to tackle the important things like Jonathan's walk

in the park. But we need you. Think of yourself as a member of this station except you aren't allowed in the doors. That's an important metaphor for life. own the power of this radio station. We just got an enormous pledge from Farewell Ranch. >> That's great. Farewell Ranch is a great Place to take your loved one. Just dial 8669 bury me. Remember, VCPR is commercial and interestf free. Donate your money now. Issues. >> Thank you guys. So, we're back on pressing issues. Just one of many fine shows you'll hear if you have the patience to

listen to public radio. Although thanks to the many awards we have won, Pressing Issues has extended Play time and is the number one rated show in the Vice City area. I'm your very entertaining host, Maurice Chavez, a man climbing the broadcasting ladder at a rate of six knots. 6 years ago, I was a clown and now I'm a success. Think about it. Imagine where I could be in 10 years. I could achieve anything. Anyway, morality. What is it? Why do we need it? Our ancestors shortly after discovering fire built tools to beat each other over

the head and discover how to make meat To celebrate with afterwards. Then Columbus came over, shut down the pilgrim discourse. Why? All very confusing if you ask me. >> That is a perfect subject for a regionwide discussion show which is very to discuss the subject of morality. We have fire brand preacher pastor Thamas, I appreciate your coming. Forgive me for getting straight to business. Das has asked me to oversee a minor Business transaction. >> Let's hope it goes better than last time. >> Which is why I thought of you, my friend. I've dropped some protection

at the multi-story car park. Pick it up, then go and watch over Diaz's man at the drop off. Gracias, amigo. >> No turd. Apparently that angry [ __ ] runs this man. >> Let's see what that creep has to do with Things. They're the ones responsible for the nightmare my city is today. The crime in the streets, the parties, the children born out of wedlock to a future of hopelessness. Anyone who does not agree with me is mentally sick and should be shot. I'm afraid to say we need to build a place to escape these

transgressions. That's extreme stuff, bastard. But we'll leave amateur eugenics for a minute and ask our other panelists. Jen, you're a Mom, so you know everything. What is your thought on all this? And do you think Pastor Richard stole his ideas from a movie or book? >> Well, yes, I am a mom. My kids are very special. So special they go to special classes. I teach my kids history to give them perspective. Last night I was telling them about how Mellin sailed around the straight of Mellin and met some friendly natives that gave him supplies. Um

then he had to kill all of Them. And that's an important lesson about life. If you look at nature, you'll see many species that eat their children to protect them. Th this is especially true of hamsters. It's about putting the family first. That's really hoging all the action I see. >> Look, you want to do something other than just shadowing me everywhere? Why don't you come along and show me if you're any use? >> I might just do that. The name's Lance, By the way. Tommy Versetti. Let's go. [Music] is. >> Well, I didn't realize

we were trying to impress each other here at Sweet Think. I was thinking we was here to discuss my new exercise video or talk about my possible comeback in professional football. Not sitting here flirting with each other. I'm a married man. I'm on my >> So, you got a big family. All those wives. That's fantastic. >> Not really. You see, I really like family, especially some show you didn't know existed. I tell you, Father's Day, I'm scared to go to my mother. My big heart has caused me a lot of heartache. But when you're in

the public eye, you can't always tell what people are about. BJ has met some real manipulative people. >> Seven wives. That's fantastic. >> No, I have one. >> Yeah, something like that. If you want To win in life, you have to change. You must be Cola's new gun. >> Until more gainful opportunities arise. They'll be here any minute. We both better get a good vantage point. >> Okay, I'll take the balcony. You get the roof across the yard. If we're meant to be monogous, I wouldn't be born already. >> Well, I'm happily married. I know

the family is the basis of all [Music] Winning trash. >> Boss, begging for mercy. [Music] I got a lot of me. [Applause] They killed the ruling. You want some more? [Music] >> Pain in my head. My leg really. >> Come on. You stupid [ __ ] bando. >> You want to play rough, [ __ ] >> Get the roof. Keep me cover nervous. my money. >> Remember me Tommy Mercedes. I live. Take heads and it's all down to you. What is your name? >> Tommy. >> I see you soon, amigo. I think >> [ __

] Where's that guy? [Music] Come in and park yourself on the hide, son. >> Hell, my daddy used to say, "Never look a gift horse in the mouth." And by golly, he never did. Would you like a drop of the old Kentucky? >> No thanks. >> A clean thinker. I like that. Now, the property business isn't all about high flutin paper pushing. It's about dirt and the will to claim that dirt. You with me, son? >> Oh, yeah. >> Well, I need some tenacious bastards to let go of some dirt. And he look to me

like the kind of guy to persuade him. >> Persuasion's my forte. >> Yeah. He'll be down at the country club down on the golf course. They don't allow guns, so his bodyguards won't be packing lawgivers. Go beat tons of crap out of him. Here now, I got you a membership. And boy, you're going to need more appropriate clothing. >> This guy's my new friend. I never had a friend with a weight before. [Music] >> See, babe, I've had my heart open. I'm working on a song right now called Fallen Stars on Shattered about being able

to communicate through music rather than words. It's set in a wind tunnel. That's why there's a huge snake painted on my jacket. The snake symbolizes kind of a subconscious power force because life is pain, babe. If I Like music, I'd be >> Is this me? Nice ass, baby. Oh my god. [Music] [Applause] Look at this night. [Music] Shut up, Rick. [Music] Move away from the vehicle. >> I worked hard for this. Let me go. [Music] Southern [ __ ] Who is this guy? >> Boys, do do like this. [Music] Piece of [ __ ] [Music]

>> What makes a real American? cowboy hat, enjoying a fine t-bone and steak, going to a baseball game, shooting a gun. Maybe it's the freedom to go into a poor Country and tell them how to do things. Those are all great qualities, but one thing that makes a true patriot is the ability to choose an American car. I love you some more. >> We have got fire link on foot. [Music] Now look here, son. I got a problem, and I reckon you could help me with it. >> I'm no builder. >> No, I was thinking

more of your Demolition skills. Now, this here, this is a development as planned. And this this is the property that we're looking at. >> You're trying to say this new office block is kind of in the way. >> You catch on quick. Now, I'm going to head out of town for a while. And if that office development would have faced sudden and insurmountable structural problems, then I >> as a civil-minded individual, you feel Obliged to step in and save the rejuvenation of an important area of the city. >> Where can I get more guys like

you? >> Casserole. >> Well, I for one love a casserole. And at my weekly meeting, my congregation has a potluck. You see, a casserole is a lot like life, Maurice. And that's the basis of my philosophy. If you put a bunch of leftovers from the fridge in a pan and bake it, somebody will probably eat it. It's like my book. You believe in your favorite sports team, then they get massacred. You believe in gravity, then it turns upside down. >> I have places to be. You know, >> but if you don't shower it with money,

then just don't talk to me. Communism, don't make me [Music] We got to go and it was big for >> need some mouth to mouth resuscitation like a swan or a fish on a hook. If you Take your nervous system seriously, if you take your organs seriously and explore them tomorrow, he's been to Maui to meet with the village elders. That's why there's the ceremony for now. >> Oh, great. Why does everyone have to be packing sharp things? The knife ceremony is very important and spiritual. It's an ancient oneperson personal process. You say to yourself,

"I'm going to have a spiritual experience or thrust this Thing into my head." Or, "Life actors never rehearse and need no script." Amy, that was somebody. I'm going to say it again. Like the wind which keeps burning or the sun which shines with them. >> Will you please leave? You smell and you talk really weird and gross. >> Not until I tell people out there, become an internationalist. Learn oral traditions. Learn to respect life. Make war on machines. Marry your mother. Technology will enslave us. Buy my book. It's printed on bar. >> Okay. Okay. Let's

take a call. Hello. You're on paycheck. What's your name? >> Hey, it's Emanuel from Island. I love the show. Yeah. I always talk about technology and cleaning it. You know that play, In the Future There Will Be Robots. Well, that's a true story. In the future, there will be robots. And I'm going to hack them all. I'll make you say funny things. You know, I can Move bats around with my computer. >> Computers are evil. The Lites of ancient Britain know this. That's why they destroyed the computers that created things faster and more efficient. Took

their jobs. >> Oh, shut up. Computers aren't evil. It's the people that program the computer that are evil. That's a pretty big difference. I'm talking to you through a computer right now. In fact, I am a computer. >> Well, anything that can think faster than me is evil. Anything which doesn't dance or sing or cry or wear a smile. You create your own reality. We are like the dust in the bin. We are golden. We've got to get ourselves back to the garden. Okay. Okay. I know who you remind me of. My aunt Susan. Oh,

she was a little too. I ain't see no I share my life with a number of valuable partners and we commune with each other injury until Old maid. My mom calls her. Anyway, let's go to the boat. You're on Kat. >> Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that was great. Really interesting. I'm I'm from British, you see. like our ancient woodwearing queen. Medusa Medusa. Uh, >> no. I I think actually it was it was Bodhisa, but but no, no, not not really. I'm from Hampshire, you see. I'm your business. >> A wanderer? >> Yes, I

I was wondering. You're you're you're good with sh correct. >> Yes. Oh, >> but you have a proof. >> It's your bad boy. Like if I hadn't learned my spells or something. >> Would I get smacked with it? >> Violence is wrong. >> But you must hit Freddy with your broom. Freddy's been very daunted and not learned his spells. Hit me Harry L. Hit Me. I deserve it. >> Prank caller. Frank caller. Sorry listeners. Somebody call the IRS. Who let that guy in the country? >> Yes. Poor man so lost in illities with his father.

I hope he finds what he needs. And I need to take a commercial break. Yeah. Good luck. It's Yeah. I hope you find what you're looking for and I sincerely hope you will take a bath. We'll be back after this. You're on Kat. Don't go Away. Hi, I'm BJ Smith. In my long and illustrious career, the chopper pro football. I was some serious ass paid for it. They didn't call me for nothing. He has such a rewarding career. Many others I had, you know how to stay fit through running, resting, stepping 20 pennies. With this

far once, and beating the hell out of your fellow man. That's what keeps me healthy. And now using training methods I've Spent football, watch those pounds fall off. I'm down to 300 lb. Exactly the method I demonstrated on tape. I mean, who are they going to trust to get you fit? I'm going to rip your arm off and teach you the wet end or some instructor who wouldn't get drafted by the local team. Hell no. BJ's Fit for Football out now on Beta and VHS. Remember, to win a game of football or life, you have

to annihilate everything in your path in a blind race. Hundreds of the world to try and she wanted health insurance. Especially you guys. He's great with kids. [Music] He's a great conversation. [Music] It's like having a personalized [Music] angry [Music] basketball. >> So, welcome back and all that stuff. You're on K Chat with me, Amy Shenhousen, on Vice City Station for the stars, including me. And boys, have I got a treat for you. Next up is a living legend, a man who won the World Series single-handed, known to his fans as death in tight pants

and known to his enemies as Oh my god, I just got flattened by a truck. How is that fair in sports legend BJ Smith. So BJ, welcome. >> Thanks. It's a real pleasure to be here. >> Oh, I know. For one thing, sweetheart, I never won the World Series. That's baseball. I play football. >> Yes, but it's all the same, isn't it? >> Football and baseball aren't the same. And one of them can get bored during a 5-hour game. You touch yourself a lot and start a massive brawl with players who are degenerates, egoomaniacs, and

criminals. The other's football. >> Yes, but it's all the same. >> No, Amy, it isn't. Anyone can hit a home Run. In baseball, you stand around the field and volume your salary about 162 waiting for some action. Talk to a guy who just paid an hour football. He's been in the trenches getting a sports ring. Pour it all over his skin to keep him from taking an innocent life. One is a game for men. The other is a game for pansies who like wearing button-down shirts. They call baseball a national pastime. If that means making

a million dollars by standing around all day, Count me out. I'll work my money. >> Yeah, DJ, just like me. I can tell you. >> No, baby. I just want you to know what I did. >> I do. Jeez, get over yourself. You must have a testosterone imbalance like all those jobs who shower with other men. You can't tell me you don't look at other people's business. >> I professional sport for 14 years, including high school. And I'm making a comeback. I'm a very [Applause] This is worse than my name. Come on, baby. Come on.

Yeah. Yeah. Stupid horse. I'll chop your head off. >> Who is this [ __ ] >> Tommy Versetti. >> You remember me? >> Excuse me. I'm a little anxious. >> Never trust a godamn horse. You do a good job. You work for me now. >> I work for money. >> As I said, amigo, you work for me now. >> Shut up. Some Judas has betrayed me. He thinks I don't know how much money I should be making, but stealing 3% is as good as stealing 100%. No one does this to me. No one. You follow

him from his apartment and you see where he goes. Later, we will kill you. This [ __ ] thinks he can mess with me. If this is the best Vice City has to offer, this is going to be easy. [Music] >> Sweet. I love your hair. It reminds me of a big shaggy dog with long, greasy, straight hair. >> You know, Chavez, this weird goth guy, he's got a point. I mean, in many ways, what he's talking about is covered in my three-step program, Tape 17. Motivate, demonstrate, then motivate Again, part nine, facing home truths.

You see, we all have to face up to a few home truths. I'll never be prom queen. Jenny Will never have her parents. You'll never make it in the entertainment business. It's about realistic goals. I can change your life. Just a second, robot. What isn't covered in your three-step program? What you talk about in your Library of Congress size cassette library? Whatever we talk about, greed, gods, depression, changing lives. Who are you? What have you done? That's so great. You wear a cheap suit. Your hair is stuck rigid with spray. You're pretty of whiskey. You

You look like you sell drugs to people. You're a joke, boy. A bad joke. Oh, now this is getting personal. I come on your cheap ass show. I spare my valuable time. I cancel several important speaking engagements. I talk to thousands of VIPs in order to spread a message of hope. And this is how I get treated. I get insulted by a man with dandruff. I get slandered by a guy who put an amusement birthday party of 9year-olds. I get Attacked by a guy who works on a volunteer radio. This is not volunteer radio. I

earn a salary. How much? How much do you earn, Chavez? Big man. Tough guy with a microphone and a cheap jacket and a look that says my highest hope in life is to work. >> I'm a gogetter. You're a cheapkate. You're a fraud with nothing to tell people and no way of helping people. >> Excellent. I'm really loving this. I don't >> loser. [Music] Too slow. Grand, >> you better keep on running, [ __ ] >> Cover my ass. Now the [Music] >> human dead ahead now. [ __ ] Stain. >> Sorry. I'm going to

need this. alive. [Music] >> A creepy jailbird who doesn't know the >> I have a message. I can save lives. I'm A savior, my friend. I have a gift for communication. And this is how I get treated. I get insulted. I get paired with a pair of retards. A guy who's afraid of the sun. And a girl dosed up to the eyeballs on anti-depressants. Sweetheart, I go get something much better. >> These pills are very strong today. Maybe I took drugs accidentally. Oh well. This chick is out of her mind. I thought I was going

to get to help people on the Radio to demonstrate my program to help you. Chavez, those people on the phone said you were a desperate, lonely man on the edge. Leave. Leave right now. Get out of my studio. Go get your own radio show. Go save some other people. Hey, I'm not leaving till I have the opportunity to save people and sell some tape. You can call right now and send in the money order. Soon you can have a luxury condo in a water bed and a suit made in Singapore based on the latest Italian

style. >> Enough. Enough now. Shut up. >> Hey, vampire boy. I'll give you 20 bucks if you can put a hex on Chavez. >> Dark forces, I summon you to me. Banish these weaklings and mental inferior ones from my dragon. >> Shut up. No, you little snotty nose prick. What? >> Your shoes got lift. I can tell. >> Hey, lift this hairspray. >> Oh my nose. >> Daddy, stop bleeding. >> This cost a lot of money. I'll sue you into jail, [ __ ] >> Stop fighting, please. I hate it when we fight. Can't we

have a group pug? >> Hit me, man. I like it. >> Oh my damn nose. >> A stop crying, baby boy. Who are you going to tell? Where's your three-step program now? You think I'm a little weak now? You want to be rude about pressing issues now, eh? You think you're a tough Guy from the gutter now, huh, my friend? You think you can screw with me with Maurice Chavez? What you thinking, [ __ ] I'm sorry. Please don't hit me again. I I love your show. I think I understand his positive thinking. And that

was pressing issues. I think we covered a lot of ground. We learned all about how to press the issue. And remember, if at first you don't get hurt, hit the guy very hard in the face with a paper weight. It just Worked for me and I feel like a million dollars. Let's tell you a little bit more about exactly how public radio is financed and quality programs like pressing issues come on the air. Don't go away. That was Presenting Issues and this is Vice City Public Radio. We hope you're enjoying the show as much as

you're about to enjoy listening to me and Jonathan Freeloader. >> Hello everybody. >> Hi Jonathan. How are you? >> Heartbroken, Michelle. >> Why Jonathan? Why? >> Well, because it seems people just don't care anymore. I mean, where are people's priorities? We have campaigned tirelessly for public radio for literally months now, and the station is still in trouble. But a man with a hygiene problem puts on a pop concert and suddenly everyone has money to hand over to starving kids they've never even met. I think it's a disgrace. >> Yes, people are very shallow. >> Like

you. >> Exactly like me. But radio is much more important than food. I have a good mind not to let them go back into pressing issues this time. You have to give us some money. It is >> [ __ ] It's a that's what it is. >> Second home's here. [Music] Now, please, we need your money urgently. >> What kind of incompetent fool are you? Fool. Fool. Fool. Fool. >> Tommy, >> what? Ricardo, these idiots, they're always trying to screw you. That's the problem with this business. What do you think you're doing? These pricks have

failed me miserably. Soon any mom and pop will think they could sell Gao in Vice City. What next? Huh? The Stink King mafia. That gang place is a fortress at ground level. So Quinton here. Quinton. Quinton. They'll fly you over the area. Eradicate them. What do you think you're doing? >> What are you doing here? >> Hey, I've been asking around. It's obvious that Diaz jumped the deal and iced my brother. >> And he'll kill you, too. >> I can take Diaz. >> No, listen to me. I'll handle Diaz. He's Beginning to trust me. >>

Out of saliva. Help me. I can't talk. One thing puzzling me. What's with Quinton? >> I don't know. I always kind of liked it. Quinton Vance. >> Vance? Your name's Lance Vance? >> Hey, I got enough of that at school. Lance Vance, you poor bastard. Where the hell are we headed anyway? Prawn Island. >> After a night out, my tongue tick. >> You ever buy one of those from a whirly >> now? >> No. I'll get a bit of practice on the way though. >> Or my life partner >> stamp collection. All night. It's like

having a salivation army in my mouth. Now I can suck a lollipop for as long as I want. >> Saliv tastes like your own saliva. That's because at Salex's state-of-the-art production facilities, We use salivation. We make saliv. We're deadly serious. Wow. >> Okay, we're almost there. We'll make a couple of passes. So, take out as many guns as you can. Then I'll set you down and you're on your way. Damn, this is a war zone. Let's take out some of those guns. >> You like this? >> With the record. >> Remember me, Tommy Merced? Oh,

did you know they stand there and they do not know? Have they ever really listened to the words very deep inside the music? Don't mess with me again. Songs are great songs or whatever, right man? You know, that's my choice, you know, because man, I am love fist. And the thing is, right, they're not and if they don't get it and if they're not riding my way that day, man, well, you know, I ain't going to go Crying puppies just because their dog is demon. You know, as far as these idiots are concerned, I am

>> You want to get hurt? >> This last album wasn't your bestselling, was it? I don't even think it charted in the UK. >> What is that chart? A piece of paper. Bring that to the concert and I'll set it on fire. I ain't no Ronald Reagan a rock, babe. Album charts are a metaphor for human isolation and the breakdown of Interaction. I say it's time to rock, right, man? Because >> I am the biggest band in the world. Yeah, but you and Dick and Percy and Willie, you're all love this. The four Scottish horsemen

of the apocalypse. This till morning. Take it on the chin. Zinc deficiency. Four boys against your face. Ray tracks. What memories? And here you come. >> We recording here. This is for the record, right? Test test test. Love fist is Jez Torren. I sing the songs, sweetheart. It's my Facebook merchandise. You see >> really, man? I have you a Piper, too. >> Oh, I didn't know you had a Piper in the band. You want more [ __ ] names and layman dead valley by I am on a >> Tommy Mercedi remember the name you're on

my turf [ __ ] You're going down. >> Okay, get off. No right here. >> Yeah, but wasn't Percy voted guitarist of the year by Carab Rock Monthly? Look, look. I love the whole >> Okay, you're on your own from here. >> Good luck, brother. >> You want to get hurt? Shoot. Don't shoot. I give up. >> This is control. I need assistance. >> Now you're in a world of uh island. [Music] What do you want me to do? [Music] Diaz was pleased and would like to meet you again. >> Is that a good thing?

>> Of course. Although I'm starting to think that Diaz was responsible for our unfortunate loss. >> What makes you say that? >> One does not wave accusations at a man like Diaz. I'm never thinking out loud. No matter. I have a proposal that you could profit. >> I don't have time to run more errands, Cortez. >> I would have thought a man with such dangerous dates would be hungry for opportunities. Please, Tommy, at least hear me out. >> Go on. >> I have a buyer for a piece of military Hardware that is being taken from

town. Pick it up for me. Once you get it, I want you to call me immediately. Ben. [Music] [ __ ] [Music] Get him off. [Music] [Music] They just freed them in Holland where they visited coffee shops. And after they packed up their shift with plenty Of coffee, tea, and cakes to liven up the trip, they set sail for the new world, which they heard had a magnificent roller coaster. Once they got here, they were very hungry, having been on a ship for 65 days. So they ate for three days. Thanksgiving quickly became an annual

custom. America was founded by people who wanted a place where they could see other people. And I'm a history major. What do we have to make? Question. Is it Thanksgiving? A Holiday that is clearly about gluttony, annoying relatives, and awful casserole. Well, I for one love a casserole. And at my weekly meeting, my congregation has a potluck. You see, a casserole is a lot like life, Maurice. And that's the basis of my philosophy. If you put a bunch of leftovers from the fridge in a pan and bake it, somebody will probably eat it. It's like

my book. You believe in your favorite sports team, then they get massacred. You believe in gravity, then It turns upside down on you. You love your favorite TV show, then the network ends it with a lousy finale. But you can believe in me, and if you believe in something, support it. It's one thing to love something, but if you don't shower it with money, then just don't talk to me. Communism, don't make me puke my guts out, please. >> Well, I myself love casserles on Thanksgiving. And the way to teach your children the rich history

of America is Through theme parks. I just love Pilgrim World, especially the part where you get to slaughter your own buffalo and take home the meat or give the locals the flu while buying their land off them for a pittance. That's what children need. >> A what? wholesome activities that benefit the family. Now, what good is it if a kid plays Degeneratron for five hours? Oh, sure. He's killing space aliens. Thank you very much. But it ain't putting food on the table and he's Learning bad language. Like, when my family go out to dinner, we're

starting from scratch. Even if daddy is working late again, we can build our own spears, smear ourselves in dung, and then wait in a swamp for something to come by >> in the summer. I bet your neighbors love you. How long do you wait? Don't you get arrested? >> Hey, mister. I'm married. Look at the finger. It has a ring. >> That should for sake. Stop buying me up. >> I was You were I can see you undressing me with your eyes. Well, I tell you, I was a cheerleader and merely a prom queen. And

I could have married anyone, but I chose John. I chose him. >> Move away from the tank. >> I need this now. We're taking enemy fire. Security protocol. Virginia initiated. >> Stupid [ __ ] [Applause] >> Did you freaking hear me,shole? [Applause] [Applause] criminal escaping. Move this way. If you don't stop, I'll be very mad. Eat my hair. [Music] >> Don't make me come after you. [Music] I got to get the pizza. >> Tommy, this is Donald Love. Donald, this here is Tommy Versetti, the latest Gunslinger to come to these parts. >> Donald, you just

shut up and listen, and you might learn something. Now, nothing brings down real estate prices quicker than a good oldfashioned gang war. Except maybe a disaster, like a biblical plague or something, but that may be going too far in this case. You getting this down, you foureyed prick. Now, recently a Haitian gang lord died. Apparently, the Cubans did it. Nobody's certain, but let's make them certain. You disguise yourself as a Cuban ombre and head on down and crash that funeral. Mix it up and then hightail it. You getting this down, Donald? Oh, that ought to

put the coyote in the chicken coop, huh? And then we'll just sit back and watch the prices tumble. >> Let's get back to the topic at hand. Eh, I've had enough of this weirdness, Jenny. Let's start this. How do you maintain such a positive outlook on life? It says in your bio that some Awful things have happened to you. >> I don't think anything awful has happened to me. >> But it says in your your parents were brutally murdered. >> Mommy? Where's mommy? She's just fine. She's probably taking a nap. You're like my bad doll,

Mr. Livingston. He's a bad doll. Bad doll. Not like my other dolls. My mom's great, though. Thanks for asking. >> Okay. Wow. You're psychotic and ghost up To the eyeballs on Frankis. >> If it's psychotic to be happy, then I guess I am. >> A stelagmite grows an inch every thousand years. That's slow and painful. That's how I want to live my life. If you can't see the misery, stay out of the kitchen. You may have noticed this on cartoon. It's Egyptian and represents the breath of life given in the afterworld. It's my key to

eternal life after death. >> Able my ex-wife like some kind of spooky voodoo or something? >> I do dabble in the dark arts and magic. I ain't talking about magic like pulling a rabbit out of your ass or pulling coordinates out of your ears. I'm talking voodoo. You know, dance around with a sweat. That [ __ ] is a grass. Why does everyone assume that just because we're goths, we're weird? >> I don't know. The hood, cane, black Fingernail polish may have something to do with it. When is the last time you seen the sun?

>> It's been over 18 years since I was out in open sunlight. I only leave the house if it's raining or if I need milk. >> Exactly. Listen, I was just like you at one time, except I didn't wear makeup. basket from a firm feeling where I do. I'm happy to give you a sample of my course during start doing. I promise you'll run out and buy some colored Clothing and listen to some music other than people groaning on and on for half an hour about how much it rains in Manchester. Life is what you

make of me. a lot of girls. It's all about you. You're a >> You want to get hurt? >> And you you are a manly community with anemia. You guys should hate each other. >> Did you see love this? Those guys are so super. Listen, I just wrote another Poem. If I had a flower, every time I think of you, I'd walk forever in a garden. >> And I just wrote a poem, too. Shut up, you weird, pathetic people. This is my show. Maurice Chavez, we're not here to recite poetry or sell motivation page or

talk to dead people. We're here to press the issue. Anyway, let's take a break. We'll be right back after this important information. [Music] CPR and you're listening to the station, you are a thief. >> Not so pleased with yourselves now, huh? >> Whoa, watch where you're waving that thing. >> No more pigeon [ __ ] on my car. Hey, Tommy. >> Guess not. >> You're damn right. Now, listen. You know who owned the fastest boat on the East Coast? >> Not off hand. No. >> Me. and I wanted to stay that way. Every smuggler from

Hakaraka has one dream, a faster boat. Rumor has it the boatyard had just completed such a vessel for some Costa Rican [ __ ] And Tommy, I want that boat. I thought I got you. Where'd you come from? I >> think your pigeons are back. Hit me, man. I like you. Oh my god. Stop Crying, baby boy. Who you going to tell? Huh? Where's your three-step program now? You think I'm a little weak now? You want to be rude about pressing issues now? Eh, you think you're a tough guy from the gutter now, huh, my

friend? You think you've done school with me with Maurice Chavez? What you thinking, [ __ ] I'm sorry. Please don't hit me again. I I love your show. >> Yeah, I think I understand this positive thinking. And that was pressing issues. I think we covered a lot of ground. We learned all about how to press the issue. And remember, if that person don't get hurt, hit the guy very hard in the face with a paper. It does work for me, might feel like a million dollars. Let's tell you a little bit more about exactly how

public radio is financing quality programs like pressing issues come on the air. Don't go away. That was pressing issues and this is Vice City Public Radio. We hope you're enjoying The show as much as you're about to enjoy listening to me and Jonathan Freeloader. >> Hello everybody. >> Hi Jonathan. How are you? >> Hard to work for Michelle. >> Why Jonathan? Why? >> Well because it seems people just don't care anymore. I mean where are people? We have campaigned tirelessly for public radio for literally months now and the station is still in. Don't mess with

me again. You want more? >> Show me what you fire. You fire [Music] some more. [Music] Another memory [Music] [ __ ] Shucker. [Music] The hunters followed the free running Reindeer. And there, under the magnolia tree, a windless green. Do you see it? It's nature. Ew, gross. You're one of those filthy kittens that thinks breastfeeding in public is okay. Well, it's not. There are bottles of milk at the store. Don't act like a cow. You really remind me of someone, by the way. See, you could be the juice of society. We are the same. I

imagine of yourself, of every man, all nope, not of them. You're trying to Outlaw nature. If I'm in the park and a nice gentleman comes along, I should be able to breastfeed him pretty soon. Everything natural will become illegal. It's really depressing. If I die, right? It was a tiny [Music] eject. Plastic crap. You're doing this to me? Who do you think you are? You piece of plastic [ __ ] Bro, you it is my favorite Eduto movie. It died. What else can I do? >> It's probably not plugged in. >> What? Damn. No matter.

I can buy a hundred more. Now, Tommy, each month a freelancer sails into Vice City and Mo his Jot. He sells his cargo to the first boat. I want you to take the speedboat and beat all the other [ __ ] to it. Then you bring the cargo here. Okay. [Music] Let me guess. You thought I could use a guardian angel? I'm just saying you need to let me in there, my man. Now, you can feed me all this lonely tough guy crap, but I know one day I'm going to save your ass, and you're

probably going to want to kiss me, wacko. We got some competition. [Music] >> We know it was Diaz busted our deal. So why in the hell are we running errands For him? The more we learn now, the less we have to learn when we take this town over. >> I like your style, man. Real fresh. It's time for dance. in tight hands and those Oh my god, I got by a truck. How did that sports legend? So DJ, welcome. >> Thanks. >> Oh, I know. For one thing, I never won the world baseball. I >>

Yes, but it's all the same. Football and baseball aren't the same. And one of them, you get early during a 5hour game. can touch yourself a lot and start a massive brawl with players who are degenerates, egoomaniacs, and criminals. The others look >> Yes, but it's all the same. >> No, Amy, it is not. Anyone can hit a home run. In baseball, he's standing around the field devising his salary about 162 waiting for some action. Talk To a guy who just paid an hour football. He's been in the trenches getting a worn sports ring poured

all over his head to keep you taking the instant life. One is a game for men. The other is a game for people who like wearing button shirts. They call baseball anime. If that means making a million dollars by standing around all day, count me out. I work my >> Yeah, DJ. Just like me. [Applause] That's the last of them. I'm going to Start her up. I think we got some new friends. >> Watch yourself. They're coming from all over. Got them. Head for D as fast as you can. Go to school again. >> Do

you have dry mouth? or do. It protects your teeth, fights infection, and lubricates your food. But what happens when you run out of saliva? Help me talk for personal blindness upstairs. It's Salex. Wow, I can spit again. Saliv Is more than saliva in a can. Salex improves consumption efficiency by 50%. No more halfway chores like coating your grill with cooking oil to have that extra piece of cake or bowl of kitty loom. to the night out on top like carpet. It was embarrassing. Now with side effects, I can eat a whole box of crackers or

lick my life partner all night. It's like validation. >> Eat it. Eat it. Sleep with the fish. You Want some of this? [Music] when it comes to personalities upstairs. Welcome back to Cadar of a family of medicine in the future. [Music] Welcome to the show. My name is And uh as I know as you know anyway thank you for having me on the show always. >> Yes so funny. You're an interesting man if you don't mind me saying so much because on the one hand you are the funniest show in the whole wide world just

the five of us and on the other my friend you're a real proper gradea lunatic. >> Well thank you >> see you around Tommy. >> Okay Mr. Lance Vance dance will be Robots. [Music] [Music] >> All right, Mush. I'm going to save your ve mate. >> What the hell are you talking about? >> You know that Wankerad Diaz, the Bugle Meister? He's got your boy Lance. Word is your mate tried to jump. He didn't jump high enough. if you know what I mean. >> Where did he take them? >> Ah. >> Oh, hell. In >>

plain English. >> Keep your party on. They put him across town the junkyard. >> Bloody hell, you nutter. >> Make sure you do the American thing. >> Lock up your daughters. Shoot your sons. >> Because love fest is coming to town. The world tour that has been banned throughout the world comes to Vice City. The monsters of rock and roll excess. Love fist. [Music] you shoving your fists in the air. It's the Steel Heart Stone Cold Prostate Tour brought to you by Giggle Cream because dessert should be funny and my hot Thunder because after you

get struck by lightning thunder. Come see the pounding rock from the band that brought you hits like Chin Stinger, Liverp Family. Come get lovefisted. Love at the Ray City Arena. Brought to you by Vrock. >> Welcome back. You're listening to V-Rock. Let's get on with the rock and roll. I'm Lazlo. Enjoy this one. >> No. Like, >> I'm so confused. Was that because the new album didn't do so well in the UK? >> It's a fascist that you sing about workingass people trying to make it through a tough life. I sing about the things they

want. trashing hotel rooms, wearing glitter in your eye, and waking Up that ditch next to a total sports car. When you make minimum waste, love conquers all. You know what I mean? Sher, >> the name's Amy. >> Right. Like I was saying, man, right, I'm an artist. I ain't in this for the money. If I were, would I be wearing these clothes? It's because the critics don't know. You know, they stand there, they do not know. Have they ever really listen to the lyrics to bury me deep Inside? If the music isn't what you want

to do behind some things in this I don't see what >> Hey, calm down in there. You idiot. >> You want to get hurt? >> I got >> Okay. Right. Besides, how it wasn't your best selling was it? I don't even think it started. >> What is that? A piece of paper. Bring that to the concert and I'll set it on Fire. I ain't no Ronald Reagan a rock, babe. Album charts are a metaphor for human isolation and the breakdown of interaction. Really? I see. It's time to rock, right, man? >> That's right. [Music] >>

I got you now. You sorry. >> My careful planning blown to [ __ ] Thanks to you. You screwed up real good, Lance. He killed my brother. What do you expect me to do? Mow his lawns? >> We're going to have to take out that prick Diaz before he takes us out. You okay to use a gun? >> Sure, I guess. Nice to see you, too. >> Let's get out of here. This is for the right. Remember the name. >> Don't do it. Don't kill me. >> Oh, I didn't know you had a Piper in

the band. spirit of enlightenment. We are family living in a dead valley. But I walk Alone. I am on a spiritual journey. If anything stands in my way, the contract says I walk. I've been dragged back, held down wearing makeup. >> Yeah, but wasn't Kirsty voted guitarist at the nearby collab? Look, look how you as an artist keep you and your friends and your diamonds in the head. What a trip. >> Let's take a caller. Hello. You're on the line. We love this. Hi I'm standing just filming you dead all your characters every day. They

have the criminal messages in your video. Is that true? >> Listen, seriously. The big hair, the limousines, the girls, the partying, the clubs, the hotel suits, another TV smashed into a thousand pieces. Right. After my unfortunate incident in Cleveland, I can't I don't like this lightens up. If you're asking me if we was using [Music] congratulations, you just discovered the secret message to be like so many broken to I want to go. [Music] But I would like to say that stuff doesn't matter. Not for me. I'm a Spiritual person. I understand. >> Boy, do I.

On the track stage below, you sang about how a broken heart broken heart can't ever be just broken. I know. Really powerful stuff. I think that song says everything that needs to be said about love. When you belong to the night, it's best to take advantage of it. And what takes you up will kick you down, man. Everyone remember that the world up and meet me on the bridge of Star Island. Okay. >> Okay, I got you. >> You think it's important that Well, I mean, you're a great looking guy. [Music] >> Like I said,

I'm a creature with two face. Circumstances force a hasty departure. What's a problem? >> Ah, the French want their missile technology back. And after the last incident, I feel it is time to find Safer homes. >> Wouldn't it be safer to fly? >> I'd be dead before I reaching. Besides, I need to get my merchandise out of the country. >> Need another gun? >> You, my friend, are worth 10 guns. subject for a reason which is very lucky because I happen to host one. To discuss the subject of morality, we have vibrant preacher Pastor Richard,

the head of the Pastor Richard. Bart side. You can't stop me. >> Well, I'm mother. So, I have to deal with this. My adorable kids have learned that it's wrong to be naked. [Music] Didn't you guys learn anything? I had a revelation when I was in >> Jump ahead. >> Fighting. Fight that. taking control Guards are dead. brain more than people like you. We're shielding ourselves. Heat. Heat. Okay, about that. That's a [Music] Tomas, you have protected and served me well. And now you must leave us before we reach the open seas. I will lower

my personal launch. Keep it, my friend. A token of my gratitude. Thank you, Kirk. >> One more request. While I'm away, could you keep an eye on Mercedes for me? >> I think she could look after herself, but sure, I'll keep an eye out. >> Gracias, amigo. >> Adios, amigo. I got us some cannons in the truck. Holy [ __ ] Where'd you get all this stuff? Been saving for a rainy day. >> You like? >> Yeah, I like. It's going to be crawling with [ __ ] Be careful. >> Don't worry, Tommy. I'll cover

you. Don't mess with me again. You might get hurt. [Music] I think you win. This is a real nice Herbaceious bore. Enjoy the house. [Music] >> Diaz must be inside. Something to hide behind. >> They took the risk. They're >> all dicks. Like this. I've had enough of you. Oh, damn. Excited. You >> look around. You're surrounded. >> I don't want to get shot. It's fine. >> You really want to shoot me again? You're going to pull through. Don't worry. >> You don't need to shoot me. I'm just some schmuck. Hey, Tom. Pain in my

ass. Diaz, I've come to take over your Business. >> Tommy, you betrayed me, you idiot. I'm going to kill you real soon. >> Don't make me get him off my ass. >> What the [ __ ] you want? >> Eat this, you married bastards. You want some? You stupid pricks. My beautiful house. Look what you done to it. >> This is for my brother. >> I trusted you, Tommy. I would have had you made Say good night, Mr. Diaz. [Music] Oh, we got to redecorate this place. We got to make it look older. I can't

stand this look. Tommy, what do you say? What do you say we put a bar in? >> You're my lawyer, Rosenberg, not my interior decorator. Got it. Listen to me. The time to take over this town is now. It's all out there waiting for us. >> We need to start seizing territory and Let Vice City know where the new players in town. You know what I'm saying? >> What you need is a legitimate front, Tommy. Real estate. It's never done me no harm. >> We need to start using some muscle or we can kiss all

that hard work goodbye. Local business know Diaz is dead. They're refusing to pay protection. Oh, we could try bribery. Bribery? Screw bribery. I'll show you how to make them scared. I'll be back here in 5 minutes. That's Radioactly what they want. High quality educational program. dead. >> Hey, hey, hey, >> seriously, man. Did it come my style? I'm an artist, you know. >> Okay, Jesse. So, Jazz, I was listening to your album on my box all weekend. Like, how is it? I mean, you know, you're really totally famous. No, wait. I mean like so anyway,

how are you? >> Cool, man. I'm cool. Things are good. You can't go dear or love. I really something special. You Americ sing about workingass people trying to make it through a tough life. I sing about the things they want. trashing hotel rooms, wearing glitter on your act, and waking up that ditch next to a total sports car when you make minimum waste. Love conquers all. You know what I mean? She though >> you right. Whatever. Like I was saying, Man, right? I'm an artist. I ain't in this for the money. If I were, would

I be wearing these clothes? It's because the critics don't know. You know, they stand there and they do not know. Have they ever really listen to the lyrics to bury me deep inside? If the music isn't what they want to hear, if the songs ain't the right songs, you know, if things aren't in their space or or whatever, right, you know, that's my choice, you know, yours. >> I am Lovefist. >> And the thing is, right, they're not and if if they don't get it, if they're not riding my day, >> my livelihood destroyed. Steady.

Remember the name [Music] for my store. My wonderful store. Face your fire [ __ ] Keep [Music] My beautiful window display. [Music] Ruin ruin [Music] peace with the ass protection. I run this town down. [Music] Subject last point. [Music] [Music] [Music] What's the problem? >> Some bar is refusing to pay. They reckon they're protected by a local gang of thugs. But don't worry, Tommy. I can handle it. You call this handling it? You two off your asses. Let's go. [Music] Get in the car, useless. >> We're celebrating P's influence on Vice City in association with

the Degeneratron. But for now, let's return to pressing issues. Remember, VCPR is an Advertising free zone, much like the moon or Time Square. >> Welcome back. This show is pressing issues. The subject is morality. I'm Maurice Chalice. Let's carry on pressing the issue. Now, when the Europeans were done ruining their continent with bland food and soccer riots and arrived in the Americas in the late 15th century, the subjects soon turned to morality. You see, Europeans wanted to colonize America so they had somebody to make Friends. The >> pilgrims left England for the religious freedom in

Holland where they visited coffee shops. And after they packed up their ships with plenty of coffee, tea, and cakes to liven up the trip, they set sail for the new world, which they heard had a magnificent roller coaster. Once they got here, they were very hungry, having been on a ship for 65 days. So, they ate for 3 days straight. Thanksgiving quickly became an annual Custom. America was founded by people who wanted a place where they could tell other people how to live. And I'm a history major. But do we have the right question? Is

it moral to celebrate Thanksgiving, a holiday that is clearly about knowing relatives and awful casserole? >> Well, I for one love a casserole. And at my weekly meeting, my congregation has a potluck. You see, a casserole is a lot like life, Maurice. And that's the basis Of my philosophy. If you put a bunch of leftovers from the fridge in a pan and bake it, somebody will probably eat it. It's like my book. You believe in your favorite sports team, then they get massacred. You believe in gravity, then it turns upside down on you. You love

your favorite TV show, then the network ends it with a lousy finale. But you can believe in me, and if you believe in something, support it. It's one thing to love. >> Protection needs a little more protection. >> A hell not again. I don't need this crap. >> These idiots operate out of DBP security around the blocks on >> you guys just sorted out amongst children. The rich history of theme. >> Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. >> Love pilgrim world. Especially the part where you get to slaughter your own Buffalo and take home the meat or give

the locals the flu while buying their land off them for a pittance. That's what children do. >> Don't make me come after you. searching. I'm going to shoot you on the [Music] suspect beach. [Music] >> Move over you maniac. [Music] You want to get hurt? Last on foot. Control. for civilian. [Music] >> Don't mess with me again. [Music] >> I want this video to be cleaned up. [Music] You [ __ ] What were you thinking? Do you realize what this means? We could all be >> the timer must have got screwed. That place was wired

to go up like a firework factory. Then somebody tipped off the cops. But >> what's the problem, fellas? >> Mike was supposed to torch some place in the mall, but he screwed the fuses and now the cops are crawling all over it. We got to get our stuff and get out of here. >> Relax, both of you. Let me think for a second. Tommy Versetti just doesn't cut And run. The cops are going to be going over that building with a fine tooth comb, right? But that takes time. We got to go in and torch

that place ourselves. >> Yeah, no one but a cop could get within a mile of that place. >> So, we go as cops. We got to get uniforms and we're going to need a squad car. All thanks to you, Mike. >> I'm sorry. >> I got it. All we got to do is lure the Cops in with the finger, put them in a locker, and jump. >> Good plan. Let's go. >> All right. Okay, Lance, let's get the cop's attention. >> The Richards himself. The other is a game of pansies who like wearing button-down shirts.

They call baseball a national pastime. If that means making a million dollars by standing around all day, count me out. >> Yeah, BJ, just like me. Get Florida [ __ ] >> Now that got them really irritated imbalance like all those jobs to shower with other men. Tell me you don't look after your business. >> Hey baby, I've been 14 years including high school and I'm making a comeback. I'm a very compelling person, I grant, but I ain't got no testosterone imbalance. That little mustache you busting out look like you should be Talking about some

hormone problems, girl. >> Excuse me? What did you say? >> Oh, damn baby. You're so ugly. You make blind kids cry. >> BJ, you better stop being a bully just cuz I'm not into joxy. I like friends of guys, you know, like actors or rock stars or that kind of thing. Not some great big hunky giant that has to tell everyone how important he is. >> Well, I didn't realize we were trying to Impress Jeff here at Street. I was sent here to discuss my new exercise video or talk about my possible comeback. Not sitting

here flirting with each other. I'm a married man. I'm on my seventh. >> So, you got a big family. All those wives. That's fantastic. >> Not really. You see, I really like family, especially some show up you didn't know existed. I tell you, Father's Day, my man. >> Come on. Dr. Rosen isn't going to reschedle my appointment. Tie him up and g >> fits perfectly. Bit tighter around the crotch though. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Mine too. Mine too. >> 60 for that. >> So you downsized, right? >> Yeah. Something like that. If you want to

win in life, you have to change players. You can't play on the same team all the time. >> Oh my god. Isn't this getting intimate, BJ? I feel like we are really connecting. >> And I like to connect, too. Other men might follow me, but I go into the trenches like a dope man. It's actually part of my video. >> What are you talking about? >> Well, as you know, running the ball is like making romance. And one day when I was going for a touchdown, people were saying I had a great idea. You see

all These fitness videos, >> easy, brother. No cop drives this bad. Learning about giving it the skinny thing. And I said, "What is this?" I mean, what in the world is this? These people ain't fit. They ain't got a clue. When you fit, you know it. If you come into the locker room, you know I fit. >> Remember, smile at the other cops. >> Hey there, officer. Nice badge. Nice badge. Real smooth, Lance. [Music] >> Okay, timers are set. 5 seconds of tipping. [Music] fast air unit from >> Okay. >> Well, I hate the game

on washing the car. What good is a leotard when you're washing the car? But put a man in a helmet and a cup and he can wash the car in. That's fighting fit football. It's really very simple program. The best way to get your body fit is to have total Just a dog with your body. Every now and then you wake up and come out a concussion. Say, "Damn, I look good." >> BJ, you talk funny. We'll be back on Khat right after these messages. >> Are you tired of your couches getting ruined? >> Oh,

grandpa. >> I made tables again. >> If you've got old people cluttering up your home, why not send them to Musty Pines? We'll help bring back dignity, And we promise it will be the best 3 months of their lives. They'll enjoy bingo, complaining, mumbling incoherently. Skinny Dipper once a month is a famous lucky dip medication. Musty Pines is located at a luxurious location over Vice City's state-ofthe-art sanitation facilities. You can still visit your old people, but now you have the comfort of knowing you. After they pass on to something better Than any less, you can

start enjoying their money. Finally, you can have quality family time again. Must be now. You don't have to survive. >> He was just the boy next door. >> Well, hello there, Danny. Hockey season. >> Hey, can I borrow a knife? >> A deadly curse of deranged cage. A small town in tears. E, that's gross. So, what do you need to do before BJ is Fit for football? >> Well, answer. What you need is a real expensive gym, a team of trainers, medical practitioners and dieticians, a big crowd and a walk. I mean, blood sucking. A

man who will destroy you if you don't destroy him first. A man you like set animals. He's the enemy. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] All right. >> Yes. Brilliant. Bloody brilliant. >> Hey Tommy, glad you could make it. Hey, you ever met Lovefish before? >> No, I haven't. But I've always loved your music. >> Let me introduce you to the band. This is Per Percy Dick and Willy's in the car and that was Jez in the booth earlier. And guys, I want you to meet a good Friend of mine. This is Tommy. We go way

back. >> And uh what was your name again? >> As you remember, don't be playing them games with me, mate. I'm too crafty for that sunshine. >> English prick. My good son America. >> The thing is, Tom, the boys need some help. They ain't too connected here. They don't have your father. >> We need some drugs, pal. Got to get on the old love fury, you know. >> Well, this is Vice City, man. What's the problem? Love juice man. >> We need love juice men. G can >> love juice. >> I two parts boomshine, one

part trumpet, five fist bombs, and a liter of petrol. Can you help us out, pal? Oh, it would really mean a lot. >> You could do that for the boys, right? [Music] >> Giving a voice to three very different people discussing positive thinking. a Healthy mental attitude. We've got a goth depressive. We've got a very happy orphan. And we've got a motivational speaker with a number of sisters. So, let's start with you, Constantino. Some strange, creepy creature of darkness. Have you got a positive mental attitude? >> I like to think so. >> Oh, really? >>

Misery and suffering. It's him. >> Looking for something special? I got what you need. >> Thanks for the money, sucker. >> The lottery, that's for people. away. >> I don't answer the letter. >> Damn. You You two help me here. >> I think he's great. I think he's really sweet. I love his hair. It reminds me of a big shaggy doll with long, greasy, straight hair. >> You know, Chavez, this weird dark guy, he's got a point. I mean, in many ways, what he's talking about is covered in my three-step program, Tape 17. Motivate, Demonstrate,

and motivate again. Facing home truths. You see, there was some company. I know just the girl. >> You'll never make it in the entertainment business. It's about realistic goals. I can change your life. >> Just a second, robot. What isn't covered in your three-step program? What don't you talk about in your library of congress cassette library? Whatever we talk about, greed, gods, depression, Changing lives. Who are you? What have you done that's so great? You wear a cheap suit. Your hair is stuck rigid with spray. Your breast stings of whiskey. You You look like you

sell drugs to be made. You're a joke, buddy. A bad joke. Oh, now this is getting personal. I come on your cheap ass show. I spare my valuable time. I cancel several important speaking engagements. I talk to thousands of VIPs in order to spread a message of hope. And this is How I get treated. I get insulted by a man with dandruff. I get slandered by a guy who couldn't amuse a birthday party of 9year-olds. I get attacked by a guy who works on a volunteer radio. This is not volunteer radio. I earn a salary.

How much? How much do you earn? job as a big man, tough guy with a microphone and a cheap jacket and a look that says my highest hope in life is to work in a bookstore. I'm a go-getter. You're a cheapkate. You're a fraud with nothing To tell people and no way of helping people. >> Excellent. I'm really loving this. I hope one of them gets killed. >> Hey, Mercedes. >> Hia, Tommy. And how are you? >> Just fine. Listen, you fancy having love fist? >> Okay, but just as a favor, I expect return. >>

I'm very important and I'm a teacher. A wise man, not an opinionated adult, a Naysayer sitting on the side of life criticizing others while all he can do is get a crappy gig down at a [ __ ] station. A man who lives with his mother. I'm between apartments and I'm between mansions, buster, from helping people. You know how good it feels to be me? You have any idea, any idea at all, how great it feels to wake up and realize you're a rich and talented important person and in a water bed with mirrors on

the ceiling and more girls Than you can imagine. And every time I step outside the door, I can choose which car to drive. If I choose to drive, I have five shows. No, you haven't. Yes, I have. >> Leave it under the carpet. That's my motto. >> If I can't see it, it's not there. >> Look, I hate to burst your bubble here, but I know you live in a very small apartment overlooking the gas. You ain't a big shot. You ain't even a medium Shot. You're an [ __ ] A creepy jailbird who doesn't

know. >> I have a message. I can save lives. I'm a savior, my friend. I have a gift for communication and this is how I get treated. I get insulted. I get paired with a pair of retards. A guy who's afraid of the sun and a girl dosed up to the eyeballs on anti-depressants. Sweetheart, I can get you something much better. >> These pills are very strong today. Maybe I took too much accidentally. Oh well. >> I see you later, big boy. >> Those people on the phone said you were a lonely man on the

edge. Leave. Leave. Man, I should jump out and sell some things. >> Tommy, man, am I glad to see you. >> What's going on? >> Bad vibes, Tommy. >> All right, I'm knee joking and it is heavy stuff, man. Heavy G. >> This cat, we hardly know him, but he Knows us. Like, this cat knows all about us. Knows that Willie likes his ladies underwear. Eh, or that Percy likes you fool. used Jez bomb sheep to love rocket hang can >> shut the love rocket thing right but listen to this cat >> yeah the guy

he wants love fist dead Tommy love fist gone you know what they say the good die young but Tommy you got to save love >> got a sign in in 2 hours and I think >> yeah and the boys think the stalker's going to try some monkey business there >> come on man move it You thought that man was the dawn, >> but he gave you the audio 105. >> Welcome. >> So, welcome back and all that stuff. You're on K Chat with me, Amy Shekenous on Vice City Station for the stars, including me. And

boys, have I got a treat for you. >> I'll see burning. >> Lovefish ruins my life. legend BJ Smith. So BJ, welcome. >> Thanks. [Music] [Music] [Music] Where's Baker? I'm looking for Big Mitch Baker. Who's looking? Tommy Versetti. >> You don't look like the law, so that's bought you a minute. You better talk fast. Ken Paul said you might be Interested in pulling security for a gig he's got set up. Kent Paul. Sh. No wonder he sent you. The last time he was here, he left through the window in nothing but his limey birthday suit.

Are you interested or not? >> We only do favors for our own. How do I join? This ain't no country club, boy. Can you handle a bike? Can you sit on a stool and drink? Go Zeppelin, go see how this girl handles a bike. I need this right now >> for the generation that's bearing the weight of the world on its shoulders. >> Hello. I'm sure you're enjoying our highquality programming. I'm Michelle Montaneous. Jonathan, I think it's time to acknowledge the people who are sending money in to shut us up and end this dreadful megathon.

Here's a $10 pledge from Fran Little Havana. Wow. You think she could have given more than that? >> Yes. Mean [ __ ] I hope she dies an agonizing death. >> Absolutely, Michelle. And remember, if you want us to wish you well, dig deep and dig soon. >> That's right. At any moment, conservatives can vote to end our funding and place a fast food restaurant where our studios are. See, there are some people that think everything has to make money. It doesn't. That's why you should give now. >> Correct. Next week is environmental week sponsored

by my Batsu and the Vice City Power Corporation. And next month we're celebrating P's influence on Vice City in association with the Deanatron. But for now, let's return to pressing issues. Remember, VCPR is an advertising free zone, much like the moon or Time Square. Welcome back. The show is pressing issues. The subject is morality. I'm Maurice Chavez. Let's carry on pressing the issue. Now, when The Europeans were done ruining their continent with blonde food and soccer riots and arrived in the Americas in the late 15th century, the subject soon turned to morality. You see, Europeans

wanted to colonize America so they had somebody to make fun of. The pilgrims left England for the religious freedom in Holland where they visited coffee shops and after they packed up their ships with plenty of coffee, tea and cakes to rival up the trip, they set Sail for the new world, which they heard had a magnificent roller coaster. Once they got here, they were very hungry, having been on a ship for 65 days. So, they ate for 3 days straight. Thanksgiving quickly became an annual customer. America was founded by people who wanted a place where

they could tell other people how to live. And I'm a history major, but do we have the right? The question is, is it moral to celebrate Thanksgiving, a holiday that Is clearly about blood and annoying relatives? Awful casserole. Well, I for one love a casserole and that's the basis of my philosophy. If you put a bunch of Got you again. Hey, Receti Cougar says you can handle a bike pretty good. >> Yeah. How many more errands am I going to have to run? I'm a very busy man. If it's a fight that's going to settle

this, then bring it on. Being one of us ain't just about brawling. It's about Being part of a family. >> Yeah, I've been part of a family before. All right. It didn't work out. >> Yeah, right. But this family takes care of its own. We don't ask a man to do the dirty work and then let him do 15 years hard time. Yeah, that's right. I've done my homework. This here's the biggest family of misfits, outcasts, and badasses. Hell, some of us have even been betrayed by our own country. >> I was locked up during

nomugly business. >> Which is why I'm going to ask you to go mess with the man. This whole damn country needs a kick in the ass, and we're the ones to deliver it. So get out there, grab a bike, and show this city how pissed you are. >> All right. All right. >> You son of a [ __ ] damage to property downtown. That's notable. Will you come the hell back? There is no escape. Drop your weapon and Everyone. I'm going in. What the? Hold it right there. You ain't going down. We got to take

that right now. I don't even want to survive. Get down. Okay, stay cool. Everyone down. [Music] >> Hey there, Mitch. Well, if it ain't badass for city. Now I want to see how good you can fight for your patch. A local street gang made the mistake of stealing my hog. Probably because of some machismo thing or something. Me and the boys would go over there and teach him a lesson in respect and all. Anyways, then I got to thinking this would make a good initiation for you. You get my bike back and you can tell

Paul he's got his Security. Come on. Come on. Come on. [Music] place to witness 40,000 years of nuclear winter. [Music] a wind. That's why there's a huge snake painted on my jacket. Snake symbolizes kind of a subconscious power force because life is pain, babe. If I let music, I'd be lost. This new album is our most mature work yet. I am brilliant On it. >> I'll shoot your tits off. people. But listen, seriously, I appreciate the offer. I wish I [Music] Heat. [Music] [Music] Heat. Okay, it's time to take a break before we hear about

any more criminal acts against government employ. Let's explain exactly how free radio without commercial breaks works. We'll be right back. You're listening to VCPR. Finally, a radio station for teachers and librarians. You've been enjoying pressing issues, but as is normal, you can't listen to an hour's worth of programming on this station without us begging for money. It's the buy daily begathon here on VCPR, where we hold your favorite shows hostage until you pony up some cash. You know what's so Great about VCPR? It's like a shining torch of cultural enlightenment for my city. In these

times of darkness, when the hordes are so uneducated, they can barely understand multi-selabic phrases like, "Clean my shoes better, Marissa, or I'll report you to the IRS." or dialectical materialism. Isn't it pleasant to have a patronizing voice on the radio? >> That's right, Michelle. With the way things are going under Reagan, at any Moment, the unwashed Huns from [Music] [Music] W. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, man, that psycho's back. >> What's going on? That psycho won't leave Lovefist alone. >> You didn't kill him, man. And now he's back. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing is, >> the

thing is, we need someone to drive The limo we can trust, cuz that nutter keeps making threats. >> Shell me. I need my mom. >> We're all breaking ourselves, man. >> Okay, guys, calm down and I'll handle this. >> Normally, I wouldn't busy myself with driving around a bunch of drunken Scottish bisexuals, but in your case, I'll make an exception. Yes, man. Time for a wellmed drink. Are your venue just 100 yards down the road Then? Better make it a large one then. >> Hey Tommy, change the tunes man. >> I get all confused if

my he banging. Ah, look. What's this? Hey Tommy, stick this tbone. >> Love fist. Your time polluting the airwaves is over. I gave you the chance to be friends. Well, now I'm giving you the chance to die. You try and slow down, your limousine will explode along with your big hairy asses. >> Tommy pal, you've got to save the band. >> I'm getting bored of this. >> Just keep the pedal to the metal. >> We got to find a bomb. >> Can't we just drive around all day? I was getting plenty to drink. >> The

bomb may be in the engine. Stop to get >> We're all going to die. I'm going to get ped. >> Hey, there's a few here. B's near cabinet. My way. Hey, the vodka bottles got wires coming out of it. >> That's no vodka. That's boom shine. >> Wire to blow. >> No, it said the drink would kill me. >> I've seen this on the telly. You got to pull out one of the wires. >> Which wire? >> I don't know, man. I don't have a clue. >> Willie, she show me. I'm going to play bass

in hell. >> Tommy, man. Keep driving fast ball. >> Somebody do something. I clever somebody d something. The kind of crap is that? I've seen braver coins. >> Okay, tough guy. You do something. >> Look, man. I play a musical instrument and I a clue about bomb disposal. >> Well, he could just suck the boomshine out with a straw. >> I have heard that you're good at that kind of thing. Hey, I was off my tits that night as well, you know. >> Just pass Willie a straw. >> Oh, a straw. This is a love

tour bus. Oh my god. Get a straw fake if I mean. Which wire, Tommy? >> The green one. >> There isn't a green one. >> Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Is this a green one? >> Any of these wires look green to you? >> Oh, net death in a car. It looks green. >> I should have dumped you a lot when I had the chance, man. >> Glory seeker. >> I've been carrying you for years. >> Shut up, you muppet. >> Big screaming girl. >> I shut it and pull a wire. >> Which wire? >> This

one. No, >> man. We're okay. We ain't been blown up. >> I'm excited to be here. >> No, I'm mind depressed. >> Tommy, man. Nice one. Rock and roll, man. And we got a gig to go to a racket to make groupies to abuse. [Music] >> Have you finished with our bow? >> I don't live in the gutter. I live in The ghetto. I'm a survivor, not Burman. I'm from the streets. Okay. Hey, I can teach you how to be a survivor, too. All of you. I can help everyone. I've got what they call a

gift of communication. I can help you all realize that gift. Make something of yourself. Realize your dream. I'm like a high school counselor. I'll show you your potential. It's easy. All you have to do is follow my simple program on audio, cassette, or VHS. >> Okay. Okay. Not right now. This isn't a Commercial. And if you're not going to underwrite the station, I can't let you read this patent flux. People will pay for that. Hey, everything in life is an opportunity. When I was in jail, I got the idea for my current business. Now look

at me now. I got offices in Vice City, Bogatar, Lebanese, and Jamaica. If I can do it, I can help you make something of yourself. You can be just like me. A success. >> Enough. Enough. No more. And I don't Work from you until you are called upon again. It's a three-stage process. Learn, start, do. >> Shut up. I'm warning you. This is my show. You shut your mouth. Shut it now and keep it shut. Do not push me. You shiny suited. >> Do not push me. >> We'll never get to play live. >> Oh

[ __ ] My balls. >> We got to get on with the show. Thanks again, Tommy. Give up. Say a nice one. Bye. >> You should leave now. >> Please don't make me get away. Open. So it says here by city civilian of the year for 19. >> See man. >> Hey puppy. This is for me. You the boy. Oh yeah. You the boy. I think so. You know. >> No. I don't think I do. >> Oh yeah. You come here, tough guy. You Think you'll take me on? You think you'll play stupid with me?

>> No. I think you're playing plenty stupid enough for both of us. >> Hey, he call you dumb son. >> And I call him a little girl, puppy. Look at him all dressed up like that. What is this? Ladies night. You some kind of tough guy. You dress like a woman. You got on panties like a woman, too, huh? >> What do you got against women? You Prefer men, big boy. >> I like women. I like all women. I love my mother, Chico. >> All right. All right. I'll take your word for it. Relax. Can

you drive, amigo? >> Yeah, like a woman. >> Very funny. I like you, big boy. Maybe you can help. Maybe you can prove you're a man. Huh? Take out the boat. Show me you got some big coonies and not some little very chita ones. >> Hey, I'm Rico. You the man with a big >> Tommy Versetti. Let's go. >> Okay, man. Treat her like a woman. >> If you don't give us money, remember my City Public Radio is commercial free because it is funded entirely by donations from my listeners and corporate sponsors. So, if you're

enjoying the show, why not make a contribution? I'm Maurice Chavez and this is Pressing Issues. pressing issues is a round table discussion group in Which we ask self-important people exactly what they think me or you're a man before leaving with you more extreme than [Music] principle of enlightened debate and the American principle of free speech or is that the ancient Greek principle of feeding wise men hemlock and the American principle of being annoyed and loud so nobody can get a word I forget Only time with them. Now the subject we are discussing right now addressing

issues with me Maurice Chavez for your enlightenment and enjoyment is a very serious one. In case you haven't noticed, my city is not a very safe place. These are troubled families. We are a troubled people. Some would say we are a people at war with ourselves. Others would say we are at war with reality. Those who live in other countries and call yourself a man Restaurants and quickie marts would say we are a bloodthirsty bunch of crazies who let children buy guns from the supermarkets. Another opinion is that it is the fault of society that

as Fredo said people don't mean to hate each other. It happens because they are poor or desperate or really thirsty or put in need of a vacation or something. Another view is that we are all a little confused and really should stay at home, lock the doors and forget about Our panel right now we have three divergent opinions. Three separate islands of insanity in a rolling sea of stupidity. Three wise men following very different stars. Am I right? We are elected by Vice City and now a respected man in the capital. Mr. Shrugged got elected

because he has great hair and says things that make you nod your head. This campaign appeared to the wealthy. >> They are little sturdy kittens, baby boy. Don't cry to your mommy. >> Gay to be rich. As long as you say you care about the children. Mr. Shrub, welcome. That's not entirely true, Maurice. My campaign also appealed to the poor. And you are too stupid to understand what I'm saying. So, I held up pretty pictures and I gave out candy bars to appeal to their most base instincts. Thanks, Maurice. I'm glad to be given this

opportunity to set the Record straight. I haven't given you any opportunity yet, my heartless friend. Let me introduce my other guest first. I hope this isn't going to get personal. I love Vice City more than anyone, and I can prove it. Yes, that's coming from the man who got elected by calling his opponent a buffalo butt and a fat pen tech win that couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. Anyway, our next guest is from the opposite end of the political spectrum. A man so wet he Looks like he just stepped out

of the shower. Peacecore activist, hippie concert taper, founder of the group speaking for the underdog. He is fluent in seven languages and studied the harp in Peru. Callum Gra. Hi Moraice. Hola. You're a real man. Welcome. Hello. Hello. Hi. Let's stick to English. Most of us struggle enough with that. Welcome to pressing issues. And lastly, we have a man with a novel solution to the problems of public Safety and bicycing, he is sadly catching on. A man who appears on this fine show because our previous know it all panelist was carjacked and is now at

home arming himself to defeat. I give you John F. Hik. Indeed. So before we get started, gentlemen, let me remind you of the rules of engagement here on pressing issues. The number one rated show on public radio in the Vice City area and Hosted by me, Maurice Chales. Pressing issues is about free speech, not feeding each other handling, literally or metaphorically. Hey, my daddy used to grow that stuff in the back woods of Missouri. I tell you what, >> yes, thank you. I expect you to listen to each other and I will only step in

when necessary. So people on the air, don't forget what my voice sounds like. So I want a clean fight. Nothing wrong. >> Man, you the man. I like you, man. I like you a lot. >> If you listen one day, you might be hurt. And when in doubt, use the smell test >> anytime, man. Cuz you got cohorn. And all my friends, they got big cos. Nobody is taking public transportation. Police morale is at an all-time low. Everyone is stealing and maming and giving each other the finger. Metaphorically, you think the government is doing a

Good? Absolutely. But those statistics are interesting. But like all statistics, they are also irrelevant. And let me give you a better statistic, Chavez. In 1980, when I was elected, you were, according to the intelligence gathered on you, a man with no mission. You worked as a clown at birthday parties, corporate functions, bar mitzvah, and go-go bars. You realizing that you were a hollow man that can only take on the personality of others Decided to become an actor. And despite going up for 17 auditions that year, you only got work as a fluffer in a sex

head video. Your tax returns show that you earned less than $2,000. Suffering from anxiety, you >> got pickle, amigo. Liberally felt sorry for you and now you [Music] have the I hate these agents. They mess with me for the last time. This this take them Out. Only we need a backup. I lost a few of manos already out there. Amigo, you drive good >> for a woman, right? >> This is no time for joking. Come on, drive for me again. >> Take my boys over there and then we'll take these Haitians down. They mess with

me, they mess with the biggest boy in town. >> Fist would be over and the new contract reflects that. >> As an artist, it's really important that I make a lot of money. Right, M? You need to keep you and a fringe and your diamonds and that. Eh. >> Yeah. Rock on, Keith. Roger. Wood. >> We're going to fight like men. >> You silly. >> Let's take a caller. Hello. You're on the line. You love fist. Hi. >> Yo, this is Wayne, man. >> Hey, what's up, D? Huge fan. I go to all your concert.

I get crazy. I wear my Love t-shirt every day, even when I'm with my own lady. Hey, I heard there's subliminal messages in your video. Is that true? >> Listen, seriously. The big hair, the limousines, the girls, the partying, the clubs, the hotel suites, and other TV smashed into a thousand pieces. Right after my unfortunate incident in Cleveland, I'm depressed. I don't like numbers. This livens up. If you're asking me if we was using back, the Music is reversible. >> Hey, amigo. Good to see you can make it. This stinking nest of Haitians, we going

to kill them all. During Sniper on the roof. They fight like girls. Take cover. We need reinforcements from the cafe. >> Take out that cowardly sniper. Fight like men with huge cohes [ __ ] >> dummy. We have proved our mental bravery. Let us feel a vamp and make a Good escape. I forget. Not sure which I prefer. [Music] You got yourself back and forth. There's a working farm, cattle ranch, and crematorium where cowboys are all over 75. They'll enjoy rodeo, working on fields, and tending all the final resting places on their new friends on

Sunshine Hill. Farwell Ranch works your loved ones from sun up To sun down. And when your loved one passes away, we'll send you a free sanitation pack at VHS with boots they're wearing as they went on to a better world. Our residents sure love it. Right on is this WW2 farewell. The only way to ride into the sun. Wow. That's >> Alberto. Cafe. >> Don't serve the snake in the straw. You're too faced, Tommy. You're either two-faced or you're a wimp, baby boy. The Haitians, man. They're laughing at me. >> Easy, easy. What's your problem?

>> They're laughing at me, Tommy. At me, Ombberto Rubino. They're doing whatever they like. >> Nobody does whatever they like, Alberto. They do what you let them do. >> What? >> You want somebody taken care of? I can Handle it, but it's going to cost you. I know we're brothers and all, but this is business. >> Tommy, you are real men. Businessmen, a gentleman. These Haitians, they have a load of product coming in offshore. Really good stuff. We take it and we finish them. You take it and I look after you. Like my brother, like

my son. >> I think I prefer the cash to being bounced on your knee, amigo. >> Your is performing. >> We also have John Brown, leader of Moms Against Popular Culture, or MAPC. Or is it MAPS? Map G, I don't know. We're deep in acronym hell right now. Or is it purgatory? And finally, we have Barry Stark, author of the book As Nature Intended. He's the editor of Vice City's Natureist News and is working feverishly, it says here, to bring more nude recreation to Vice City to protect the dignity of our other panelists. We Place

Mr. Barry Stark behind a divider. >> I'm naked, man. [ __ ] >> It's my right as a person. >> Yes. >> Let's start with the obvious. Yes. >> Is it moral to be naked? >> Yes. You can't stop me. >> Well, I'm a mother, so I have to deal with this issue every day. My adorable kids have learned that it's wrong to be naked. >> Hey, Rico. Nice boat. You ready? >> See, Tommy, now you be a good shop today. My boat, she no good. Full of holes. Okay. [Music] I'm going to have to

interrupt you. Machinery while you're working on the world. You don't want to fashion. Yeah. Now we smash your faces at me like this. We got you now. There's no way out. >> Somebody cover me. Dispatch air unit. [Applause] [Music] Call an ambulance. [Music] You go guys, carry >> agree with me as men. I'm afraid to say we need to build a place to escape these transgressions. Woo! That's extreme stuff, bastard. But We'll leave amateur eugenics for a minute and ask our other. You're a mom, so you know everything. What is your thought on all this?

And do you think Pastor Richard's throwing his ideas from the movie or book? >> Well, yes, I am. My kids are very special. So special, they go to special classes. I teach my kids history to give them perspective. Last night I was telling them about how Mellin sailed around the straight of Mellin and met Some friendly natives that gave him supplies. Um, then he had to kill. That's an important lesson. If you look at nature, you'll see many species that eat their children to protect them. This is especially true of hamsters. It's about putting the

family first. That's really important to me and where a lot of my morality comes from. And if you don't like it, find your own husband and stay away from mine. Okay. >> Okay. But and excuse me if I sound a Little confused here, but I don't think I understand. >> Now, my morality comes from looking at history and biology and working out. [Applause] >> That's what this country is all about. [Music] I don't have wave or horseeradish or >> wa wa >> come in my dear and rest your soul. You must be the big bad

man my granddaddy Been chatting about. Tell me things about you, you know when he visits and about the others who wait for you. Now we all dead from long time but you I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. >> I got a message to come here. >> Can you hear them calling your name? Boy must want you pretty bad don't you think? >> Now you do turn. Maybe she help you. Maybe she can't give you a little juju after all of this. Give you some magic To give the law man the stink eye. >>

Look this is all very um give me what? I I I think I got the wrong address. >> These things Tommy >> the Cubans nasty proud fufu been making my lovely Asian boys shake their heads. Now they told the policeman where me been stashing me powders. They think it drugs them stupid. >> Now be a good boy Tommy and go and get the powers for auntie. >> Yeah, sure. So they had somebody to make fun of dance performance. Come see the unbridled passion of In the Future There Will Be Robots every night at the Vice

City Arts Center. Expressing the future aesthetically through the medium of dance, two men battle for one robot's heart. By euphoric and vehement generations on stage. >> I love her. >> Yes, but what about this? >> Those are regulations. >> I dance my way to express that not dance for me. >> This is the definition of modern dance. grown men in questionable clothing flailing around like they're having a seizure. True modernism. The past, the present, the future. >> Don't move a muscle, chump. [Music] out there. Become an internationalist. Learn oral traditions. Learn to respect life. War

on machines. Marry your Mother. Technology will enslave us. Buy my book. It's printed on bar. Okay. Okay. Let's take a quick call. Hello. You're on Kat. What's your name? Hey, it's Emanuel from Stone Island. I love the show. Yeah, I want to talk about technology and you know that place there will be robots. Sorry. I'll make you say funny things. >> Computers are evil. The lenites of ancient Britain know this. That's why they destroyed the computers that Created things faster and more efficient and took their jobs. >> Oh, shut up. Computers aren't evil. It's the

people that program the computers that are evil. That's a pretty big difference. I'm talking to you through a computer right now. >> I am a computer. >> Well, anything that can think faster than me is evil. Anything which doesn't dance or sing or cry or wear a smile. You create your own reality. We are like The dust in the wind. We are golden. We've got to get ourselves back to the garden. >> Okay. Okay. >> I know who you remind me of. [Music] with a number of different communic [Music] medusa. I think actually but no

no not your business >> a wonder. >> Yes I lost one. >> You're you're you're a good witch. Correct. >> Yes. A white witch. >> Would you have a broom? >> It is. It's your >> suppose it might be a mad woman. Like if I hadn't learned my spells or something. Would I get smacked with it? >> Violence is wrong. >> But you must hit Freddy with your broom. Freddy's been very naughty and Lord learned his spells. Hit me, Harry. Lex, hit me. I deserve it. >> Frank caller. >> Violently ill. >> Yes. >> The

back seat. I shall give you a jury. >> Oh, sorry. I I must have the wrong address. Well, you might as well come in and rest your souls and have some tea. Do you have something there for me, Tommy? >> Yeah. >> This place feels familiar to me. Just a smell from childhood. A deja vu. >> Now, Tommy, I'm going to whisper a little errand for you. Hear me well. I >> You look like someone I I >> The Cubans have fast boats they used to cross the seas with drugs. It is their livelihood. Me

nephew been making liquor flying bombs to take them out. >> Blow up B coffin wood. >> Thanks for the team. was a bit half-hearted. >> Ben, after listening to you, I realized what a load of crap it was. >> Excuse me. >> I realized what a load of crap it was. You can't hate Ben because they're different. You can't hate anyone because they're different. You have to work with them. Luckily, I needed a moronically pretentious, overeducated hairdin like you to tell me how stupid I was being. I Mean, we're all just people, and an idiot

like you can causing problems in this world in the name of reclaiming some false ideal. I'm blabbering on and on about gender politics at rallies just so you can wear leather in public. >> Why you misogynist? >> No, you're insane. You hate yourself because you're a failure. You're in a >> uh Michaela, she hated you. >> No, nonsense. Poor dear was invinc. I thought she expressed herself poorly And didn't know what she was saying. Probably burned her husband's cakes or something. It is important for me to confront the differences and similarities between myself and other

women. I Smart, strong, I seek liberation. Your society imposes on me. Ah, this is also confusing. Everything has two meanings. >> Exactly. Apart from the word, which has you can choose to be a victim, but after you read my book, you'll realize men are Incompetent. Can a man have a baby? Do I need a man to have a baby? No. Don't understand each other with pillows. Judo, that doesn't sound like fun at all. I've had enough, right? Listeners, don't go away. When you come back, we'll have a new guest, and I promise they'll be more

interesting than my crap artist. Michaela, it's been a pleasure. I'm sure we've all found this very illuminating And why our beliefs are right in the first place. We'll be back right after this. Wow. truck in a chair cuz cream. It makes dessert funny. He was a man of peace living on a quiet farm in North Dakota till one day all hell broke loose. Tim, we need you. I'm a man of peace. I'm done killing. I want to raise a family. That's just it, Tim. They've got Your family. No. >> Jack Howard is kidding exploding. From

the heart of America to the jungles of Cambodia, follow one man's quest for peace. >> Gucci back. Is that you, >> Tim? I know you come. Just like old days. We kill everybody. >> Tim, they've got your wife, but I'm not married. You are now to America. >> He went in to save his country, but found his family and lost a friend. Jeep. >> Tim, don't read me. You got me baseball game and have a laugh. >> No, you would have been a fine American. I'll cry when I'm done killing. Get yourself a body bag.

Strap yourself in. Start making friends. The American way. Exploder evacuator part two. Rated PG. Patriotic garbage. So hello everyone and welcome back to Kat Vice City's main place for things. I Mean well it's a place in Vice City where things go on by interview. It's interviews and I'm Amy Shacken. [Music] Our next guest is a man on a mission and that's why he's got >> Hello. Hello. I I'm looking for somebody around here. >> You're looking hungry, Tommy. >> Do I know you? >> Hush now. One more thing and I can let you go, Tommy.

My boys going war with Them Cuban boys, but no guns. But the Cubans have a surprise coming. While they fight in the streets, you take this rifle and kill them in the hubbhub. No one sees you. No one hear you. Now, Tommy, you do this for me and you no longer tied to my apron strings. >> Okay, auntie. >> Every thousand years. That's slow. and painful. That's how I want to live my life. If you can't see the misery, stay out of the kitchen. You may have noticed This tattoo. You want more? [Music] Hey lady,

you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to kill me a Haitian and then and then I'm going to make love like a man. You know that, Chica? Something like this. H gross loser prick. >> Hey baby, I wouldn't catch you with a 10ft pole. >> Use that line. >> Ombberto Roina. He like a lady, not some goat in a skirt. >> Tommy. Tommy, I love you. I love you. Let's go. >> Go where? Can I get a cup of coffee first? >> No time for coffee. Besides, I just had one. We're going to

take out the Haitians. Tell me, how do you take out a snake? You'll bite him in the ass. >> Whatever you say, I'm bear. >> You go and get us a little Haitian car. When you get it, come back and pick up my boy Pepe. >> And take them out to the Haitians. >> Then you go around to the Haitians processing plant. And you use their solvent as an explosive. Boom. Bye-bye. >> Andberto, what about you? >> Uh, I'm going to stay behind and watch over that cafe with Papa. He not feeling so good, you

know. The last thing I needed was this. Maybe the last thing I needed was an enema, but this comes close. >> 1982. Clothes are seriously unnatural. Didn't you guys learn anything from the 60s? I had a revelation when I was in holiday in Germany. I don't >> I had a beautiful woman lived around this neighborhood. >> You're born not wearing any clothes. When you die, you're not wearing any clothes. You don't have to interrupt me. What if you die at work? What if an enormous piece of machinery falls on you while you're working? Clothes lead

to immorality. Nudity stops people from fighting. Have you seen an issue of National Geographics lately? People around the world are nude. You don't want to shoot a machine gun or a howitzer or a flamethrower. >> This place is a dump, man. Personal fashion, quite frankly. Have you been to the zoo? Animals are naked. If everyone Were naked, there'd be no war. Everyone's complaining about crime and the theft of cars in the city. No one's ever stolen my car. No one's ever pickpocketed me. They've never even tried. That's because you're a degenerate, Lumi. >> If the

police were naked, it would set a great example to everyone. You can direct track [Music] at you. We'll be able to deflect alpha Again. >> Oh yeah. Let's go find our muchos. The day is coming and coming soon where the artificial sons will rain down to punish the degenerates of this city. But you can save yourself the pastor Richard salvation stature will be a completely self-sufficient amigos. The summit is around the back of my massive statue. So when the poopy hits the proverbial fan, we will load up the statue with all of the people who

Have saved themselves through generous donations, blast into space, and colonize Saturn with a race of morally correct, affluent people ruled by me. >> H will there be naked people? >> No, turd brain. People like you we're shielding ourselves from liberals, degenerates, the Welsh. They're the ones responsible for the nightmare vice city is today. The crime in the streets, the parties, the children born out of wedlock to a Future of hopelessness. Anyone who does not agree with me is >> plant the bomb cover should be shot. I'm afraid to say we need to build a place

to escape these lands of Russia. >> What will you teach him out [Music] city junkyard. [Music] This time [Music] run all about. I mean, >> get hurt. What's your kid going to do? No more. >> You want some more? I got to end this. It's harder on yourself. [Music] Mr. Tal, your help in eradicating those out oftowners was invaluable to Business. >> I have more work for you with a more hands-on approach. >> Your next shot is taped under the phone. that only a select few is a star in the sky, Amy. Not just the

ones that sing on TV or those people in the movies. I think I know what you need to separate your reflection from your true self. A zen garden. >> Oh, my brother had one of those and the federales came. >> Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Zen, silly girl. It's a little sandbox you draw pictures in. It teaches you things like that death isn't an end. It's just a stage and also a beginning of a new journey. >> Do you have a leader in this weirdo cult of yours? >> Not a cult, a coven. There's

a big difference. Yes, our leader's name is Phil. >> That's a weird name for a leader. [Music] >> Leave me alone. >> Do not disrespect Phil. >> My compliments on a job well done, Mr. Still, my client was very pleased. I have more work for you with a more hands-on approach. >> Your next shot is taped under the phone. [Music] >> You can direct traffic and eat donuts entirely in the buff. Maurice, this kind of mold of salvation. Had the building for my image. Simple. This 50story statue will be able to deflect alpha, gamma, and

beta radiation. The day is coming and coming soon down to punish the degenerates of this city. But you can save yourself. The pastor Richard Salvation statue self-sufficient community. We have canned food rations, private living quarters, and enough supplies to survive happily the predicted 40,000 years of Nuclear win. In phase two, hand with funding from NASA, we will equip this massive statue with rockets. So when the poopy hits the proverbial fan, we will load up the statue with all of the people who have saved themselves through generous donations, blast into space, and colonize Saturn with a

race of morally correct, affluent people ruled by me. Hm. Will there be naked people? No, turd brain. It's morally corrupt people like you. We're shielding Ourselves from liberal DJs. They're the ones responsible for the nightmare by city is today. The crime in the streets, the parties, the children born out of wedlock to a future of hopelessness. Anyone who does not agree with me is mentally sick and should be shot. I'm afraid to say we need to build a place to escape these transgressions. Woo! That's >> so you what is your thought? >> The European gang

plans to hit a bank in Vice City. My employees would rather it didn't happen. Each member of the gang has a cover while they are here in Vice City. Some have menial jobs, others are on vacation. >> Each charges and their likely whereabouts are taped under the phone. Mommy, are unicorns real? What am I supposed to say to that? Do I lie and make myself as bad as the boys to lie? Clothes are a lie. Maurice. >> No Barry clothes are a way of keeping Warm and not getting arrested. >> No policeman has ever hit

me with his trench. >> I'd like to hit you back to hell, you sicko. Your filth human form of vermin applied on a fine society picking fences and garden party and everyone coming three times a day to my statue to pay hom. Pastor Richards, as a human being, I have to say I find your philosophy or cult or whatever it is utterly and completely appalling. Well, thank you. I Knew you'd understand. I mean, you seem to want to build a religion around yourself and some 1950s vision of America. It's the 1980s, man. And one man

worship meals are not allowed, my friend. Exactly as I say in the great book, many a call. But unless you have a good credit rating, go screw yourself. You're burning. Shut up. Mary, what are you doing? I'm lonely, Murray. Lonely and I need some bodily contact. Get behind. Get back Behind that panel. Don't be shy, please. We've all got one. That means I'm happy. Hey, stay away from me. I must >> come after you. >> [ __ ] >> There he is. >> Tell my wife I love her. Okay, >> this [ __ ] is

away. Put it away. >> No, I am the sole judge of truth and decency. your worst nightmare. >> I love you all. Evil doer. Die, devil. Die. >> You smear. You shot him. There's blood and and pubic hair all over the studio. Ladies and gentlemen, it is complete pandemonium here on pressing issues with me, the multi-awwardwinning and soon to be executed Maurice Chavez. Barry, are you okay? Are you alive? >> Stop it, bleeding. It's down there. Do I have to? Can't you get somewhere else? I feel she's fainted. >> No, hold it. Oh, that's so

good. I need >> Maurice, please. Oh my god. Um, okay. Excuse me. I'm only doing this to save your life. I don't want to. Thanks. I'm getting cold. Quickly, it's okay to use tongues. >> Get off of me. I'm happily divorced. >> Shall I send him to hell, Marie? >> Yes. I mean, no. No. You psychotic lunatic. Put that gun away. Don't point it at me. Or your what, son. You think I'm scared of your conventional liy Libert morality. You think you can tell me what to do? You think it's wrong for me to have

five concubines to spread my jeans or to use money from the statue for building my own palace in Hawaii? You think that's wrong, do you, son? Do you? No, no, no, Mr. Pastor. It's all right. I think it's very right. Very right indeed. You are the boss. You're entire. You're the king. >> Damn right I am. Now, I'll tell you about morality. Morality is what I say Is right, and immorality is what I say is wrong. You got to understand this. >> Oh, I do. [Music] >> Washington. The thing is, you see, this is public

radio and every once in a while we need to appeal for money or cut away when people start brandishing bonds in the studio like this. You're on pressing issues and in this show we discussed morality. I think we made a lot of Progress and really came together. I'm Maurice Chavez. Bye. Please don't kill me. I hope you were enjoying pressing issues. I certainly was. >> Yes. It's almost as interesting as listening to you, Jonathan. >> Wow. Thanks, Michelle. It is, isn't it? Before we let you get back to the show, I thought you'd like to

know VCPR has managed to raise $30 this hour, which should keep us on the air for another 15 minutes at least. >> Thankfully, due to generosity of the people at Deleo and >> Will you come the hell back? Time to fry bigger fish, Mr. Teal. There's a rifle in the foolish to your right. Watch the woman standing on the balcony above the checkind desk. She will walk through the cloud and ask someone the time. You must kill that person. Retrieve the case and take it to the location taped Under the phone. Oh my god, you

were so trash last night. Sorry, what was that? in the air. >> Hello. Help. Get help. I will only civilian airport. issues. >> I got a bullet rights [ __ ] >> Everyone on the ground. >> You disgust me. >> I'm faster. >> Esar International Airport. >> Getting close. Shoot the citizens. Please take cover. >> Let's go back. I'm taking him down. >> Help me. [Music] >> International Airport. [Music] [Music] from Little Nevada. Get out now. I'll be very [Music] [Applause] >> Do you come the hell back? I'm searching. [Music] >> Suspect last seen in

a black pickup. [Music] Assistance required in uh little [Music] subject. Ah, There is a valuable exchange in place on the roof of the cherry ice cream company. >> The thing is you see this everyone involved the merchandise and exit to the helipad at the airport when people starting there is a gate to your left that leads to the pressing issues and in this show we discussed morality. I think we made a lot of progress and really came together. I'm Maurice Chavez. Bye. Uh, please don't kill me. >> I hope you were enjoying pressing it. >>

Jonathan, >> we've got little Havana. kill you. >> Yeah. The are civilian in Atlanta. Come on. [Music] One more. Show yourself. Let's talk. [ __ ] >> This is control. I need assistance for Little [Music] That's air unit from >> Hey, stop inbound on foot. Stop that immediately. >> My friendly [Music] [ __ ] >> Subject last on foot. [Applause] >> Hey, I can teach you how to be a survivor, too. All of you. I can help everyone. I've got what they call a gift of communication. I can help you all realize that gift. Make

something of yourself. Realize your dream. I'm like a high school counselor. I'll show you your potential. It's easy. All you have to do is follow my simple program on audio, cassette, or VHS. >> Okay. Okay. Not right now. This isn't a commercial. And if you're not going to Underwrite the station, I can let you read these patent plugs. People pay for that. Hey, everything in life is an opportunity. When I was in jail, I got the idea for my current business. And look at me now. I got offices in Vice City, Bogatar, Lebanese, and Jamaica.

If I can do it, I can help you make something of yourself. I can't believe [Music] again. It will be anarchy. >> TV teaches immorality. Refugees blue. [Music] Tommy. Hey, Tommy. Look at this. This is great. I've got us this mini bar installed. We got a whole bar downstairs, Ken. >> Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Well, I got the chalkboard you asked for. Ah, that's the benefit of a law school education. The ability to follow instructions. No, I need a safe. >> Oh, all right. Well, let me think. Safe. I got it. This guy will blow you

away. Ah, no. That schmuck. He's on the inside. >> Where? Inside? >> In a police headquarters cell awaiting transfer. >> I think he's about to get parrolled. That's a street, not a sidewalk. >> Don't make me kill you. >> I surrender. >> If that means making a million dollars by standing around all day, count me Out. I'll work for my money. >> Yeah, BJ. Just like me. >> I can tell you. >> Yo, baby, it's cool. I just want you to know what I did. >> I do? Jeez, get over yourself. You must have a

testosterone imbalance like all those jocks who shower with other men. You can't tell me you don't look at other people's business. Baby, I played professional sports for 14 years, including high school, and I'm making a Comeback. Cam Jones. >> Yeah, that's me. >> I'm busting you out. >> Whatever you say. >> Lose the heat and get me back to my place. [Music] All right. Tell my wife not to worry. >> Down on the ground, [Music] It the skinny thing. And I say, "What is this?" I mean, what in the world is this? These people ain't

fit. They ain't got a clue. When you're fit, you know it. If you come into the locker room, you know I spit for football somebody for an hour straight. That's what people need. If someone comes to jack your ride, are you going to bust a aerobic move? Hell no. But when you know how to grab another man by the face mask and twist him around and so your tears Into his back and never play again, I mean, that's some real useful everyday stuff. And I should know. You know, I just don't want to talk about

football anymore. >> Well, take dating or washing the car. What good is a leotard when you're washing the car? Or put a man in a helmet in a cup and you can watch a car in D. That's football. It really program. The best way to get your body fit is to have total disregard for your Body. Every now and then you wake up and come out of concussion. Say, "Damn, >> BJ, you talk funny." We'll be back on Khat right after these messages. Are you tired of your couches getting ruined? >> Oh, Grandpa, I made

tinkles again. >> If you've got old people cluttering up your home, why not send them to Musty Pines? We'll help bring back dignity, and we promise it will be the best three months of their lives. They'll enjoy bingo, complaining, mumbling Incoherently, skinny dipping, and organ donation. And once a month, it's our famous Lucky Dip medication switching night. Musty Pines is located at a luxurious location overlooking Vice City's state-ofthe-art sanitation facilities. >> I'm going to be doing a job and you're my safe cracker. >> Beats losing my ass in his cell. >> You hear them hogs?

Gray aliens mating. >> You can have quality [Music] He was just the boy next door. >> We need a stickup man. You know one. >> Hey, Tommy. Tommy. Tommy. This stuff keeps you sharp, man. Woo. I could be your stickup, man. Stick them up. Stick them up. >> You ain't a stickup, man. You're an idiot. Now, get yourself a drink and shut up. >> Hey, get out of my way. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ow. Ow. >> Relax. >> Cam, what do you think? Well, the best shooter in this town is a guy named Cassidy. >>

Is that so? >> Yeah. A military guy. Or thinks he is. I doubt he was ever in the army, but he certainly knows how to get a hold of guns. He'll be down at the shooting range. [Music] >> She teaches kindergarten professionally. You know, I know a lot of players who need to go back to school after they finished playing. It's a tough life and you lose something. >> What did you lose? >> Hope something. It's good out there. >> That's just like Jade. Those kids are evil little brats. >> Listen, are you going to

talk about your freaky friends who dress like a funeral? I thought we here to talk about BJ. BJ Smith. And I feel a lie. I mean, really A lie. Ain't nothing more invigorating than holding a man's head in your hands and looking him in the eyes and said, "I can kill you in one second, old man." And he says, "I got a wife." And he said, "Give me all the money in your cash first." >> What are you talking about, BJ? Are those muscles real? >> That's funny you should ask because the answer is yes.

They ain't implants or nothing. >> Wow, you're enormous. >> Nah, this guy's twice my size, but I'm quick, rich, and angry like a Republican. So, oh, um, I see. Look, I ain't got anything more to say to you, and I can't fall in love with another guest or I'll get sacked. So, let's go to those. Who's on line one? >> Hey, Amy. I'm a first time. >> How you doing? I love your show. Sort of. BJ, man, you're awesome. Here's my question. How'd you play that game Against San Andreas with two broken legs? I can't

believe I'm talking to you. Wow, man. I don't know what to say. This is the greatest day of my life. >> Well, why the hell you call in? Don't worry. I'm a professional. The method I use in the game against essays is actually a part of my exercise video. When in doubt, go for the call. I hope that answers your question. That's a problem with public. I get it all the time. You know what I'm saying? >> Absolutely. I get that all the time. People say, "Are you that girl in that show?" And I say,

"No, I'm You Phil Cassidy? >> Why? >> I'm looking for a man who can handle a gun in this setup. I'm not too convinced. >> Son, I can shoot a fly off your head at 80 ft. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. I learned it in the army. >> Fly shooting real popular in the army. Glad I don't pay tax. >> Trying to be funny, kid. [Laughter] >> That's cute. >> Don't make me kill you. You want to die, mister? >> Live ammunition. Aim. 3 2 1 fire. >> Enjoy the hospital. Heat. Hey, Heat. Heat. [Music]

Heat. Woohoo! Heat! [Music] This guy is a lunatic area. Aim. Three, two, one, fire. [Music] Are you clear? Aim. 3 2 1 fire. Area clear. >> So, you want to do me a favor and help Me put together a job, >> son? After shooting like that, if you asked me to be her wife, I'd say yes. >> Things are starting to come together nicely here. >> What's the plan, Tommy? Kasa, amigo. The plan is you keep doing that like a [ __ ] >> Anyhow, we need a driver. >> Tommy, I'll do it. I can

drive. >> You want Hillary, mister, not some smart talking law school chump. Hillary's a Real deal. You ain't never seen anyone drive so fast. I'll give him a call here. >> Hey, Hill. It's Phil. How's it going? No, don't talk. We'll reminisce later. You want to do me a favor? I got me a guy from up north. Oh, no. I don't think he was in the service, but he wants a driver for a bit of action. >> Okay, I understand. >> What'd he say? >> Well, he'll do it. No problem. Well, there might be a

little problem. See, he has abandonment issues. Seems he won't work for anyone who can't beat him. Something to do with his mama. Anyway, he wants to race you first. Said he'd meet you outside. you, Tommy? Of course you're Tommy. I mean, why else would anyone want to speak to me? Okay, consider it this way. I'll drive for you if and only if you can drive properly. Leave me alone and I'll never forgive you. >> And no abandonment issues. Who is this freak? Why can't I meet someone normal for a change? >> I could cheat. Hey,

>> what is it? Why do we need it? Our ancestors shortly after discovering fire build tools to beat each other over the head and discover how to make meat to celebrate with afterwards. Then Columbus came over, shut down the pilgrim Discourse. Why? illegal street racing all officers. >> Street information which is very lucky because I happen to host one to discuss the subject of morality. We have fire brand preacher Pastor Richard the head of the Pastor Richard Salvation statue organization a group which plans to raise enough money to build a statue of pastor Richards himself.

We also have John Brown, leader Of Moms Against Popular Culture, or MAPC or is it maps, map gay, or I don't know. We're deep in acronym hell right now. Or is it purgatory? And finally, we have Barry Stark, author of the book As Nature Intended. He's the editor of Vice City's Nature is Loose and is working feverishly, it says here, to bring more nude recreation to Vice City to protect the dignity of our other panelists. We place Mr. Barry Stark behind a divider. >> I'm naked back here. It's my right as a Person. >> Yes.

Let's start with the obvious. Yes. Is it moral to be naked? >> Yes. You can't stop me. >> Well, I'm a mother, so I have to deal with this issue every day. My adorable kids have learned that it's wrong to be naked. When it's bath time, they know to put on a bathing costume. That's That's also the reason there are no mirrors in my house. Nudity leads to bad naughty things. >> Maurice, if I may interrupt, I haven't worn clothes since 1982. >> Clothes are seriously unnatural. Didn't you guys learn anything from the ' 60s?

I had a revelation when I was in holiday in Germany. I'd always felt very constricted. Then it hit me like a slippery fish. Clothes are plain wrong. When you're born, you're not wearing any clothes. When you die, you're not wearing any clothes. >> I'm going to have to interrupt you There. What if you die at work? What if an enormous piece of machinery falls on you while you're working? Clothes lead to immorality. Nudity stops people from fighting. Have you seen an issue of National Geographics lately? People around the world are nude. You don't want to

shoot a machine gun or a howitzer or a flamethrower if you're naked. They could burn or skull in quite a personal fashion. Quite frankly, have you been to the zoo? Animals are naked. If everyone were naked, there'd be no war. Everyone's complaining about crime and the theft of cars in the city. No one's ever stolen my car. No one's ever pickpocketed me. They've never even tried. That's because you're a degenerate looney. Okay, I'll drive for you, but please fortified structure in my image. Simple. This 50. >> As you can see, gentlemen, this is going to

be the easiest buck we ever made. Hey, Tommy. Seriously, you got to consider going into law. >> What the hell are you smoking, man? This ain't no simple plan. >> Well, who needs a simple plan anyway? Take communism. Now, that was a simple plan. Didn't do Russia any favors, huh? >> Calm down. All right. With a team like this, it's going to be no problem. We got Cam on safe. Phil, you and me will handle security and Hillary will drive. Uh, aren't you forgetting somebody? Somebody who helped you to no end in this town. Somebody

>> Ken, that's right. Ken here. He washes the money for us and he keeps the drinks on ice. >> I don't understand what I'm supposed to be doing here. Look, it's easy. Haven't you ever seen a movie? We walk into the bank, we wave the gun around, and leave very rich men. [Music] I'll drive. >> Great. A passenger. Wait till I tell the group about this. [Music] >> Home with their parents naked. A curfew makes sense. Do you know how much money I saved not having to wear trendy clothes? Read a history book. At the

creation of the universe, the Big Bang. Everyone was naked. Even you. Why do we have to stay behind this divider? Maurice, please. >> Because nobody is interested in seeing Your business. Because we have standards of decency which you are offending. >> Look at me. I'm jumping up and down. >> Oh my goodness. Get back behind the divider, please. I'm married. What's so wrong with me? >> Tommy, Hillary's taking up too much room. >> I am not. >> I won't hurt you. >> R2. >> Hey, shut up you two or you can get out And walk.

>> Yeah, Hillary, >> stressed. It's hard keeping a family together these days. >> Everyone, take your clothes off and feel what it's like to be free of bondage. Everyone out there in Vice City, take your clothes off. If this is the land of the free, let's start with our pants. Feel the wind from the air conditioning. >> For God's sakes, Bill, stop waving that thing around. Yeah, you put somebody's eye out >> that divider, please. Otherwise, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Thank you. Now, sit down. On pressing issues, we think it

is very important to respect one another, to treat each other like we would like to be treated. >> You don't like the United States, son. Why don't you move to Russia? I don't war, but it's hotter than hell. Mark my words, and a day now you're sitting in. Okay guys, nice and easy. Just as we Planned. >> Nobody move. >> Everybody up against that wall. >> Phil, hold down the fort. >> Wilco, roger that. >> Come on, Cam. The vault's upstairs. UAV. [Music] Stupid [ __ ] sucker. [Music] Damn, it's a flangy 9000. This could

take hours to crack or 5 minutes if you Could find a manager. >> I'll go find where he's holed up. Bill, things still sweet? >> Sure. Everything's real quiet. >> You You're coming with me. >> Okay. Okay. Just don't shoot. I said nobody move. >> It's on a time lock. You might as well give up now. >> Hell, I can bypass the time lock. Then we just need your key code and we're good. >> Stay here. You try anything and you're dead. I'm going to check on Phil. I'll be right back. >> I told you

not to touch that alarm. The squad team will be here any minute. I could do with some help here, Tommy. Like city swat, you are completely surrounded. >> Surrounded. They're crapping themselves. You rotten bastard. Tommy, the vault's open. >> Okay, we got the SWAT retirement fund. Let's get out of here. >> Okay, you asked for it. You've had your last chance. >> They're storming the place. Take cover. Don't do that [ __ ] [Music] When I walk, that's the last. Go, go, go. Oh, sorry. Careful. I got a gun. >> Jeff, where's Hillary? I'll give

him abandonment issues. [Music] >> Hey guys, get in. I got you covered. unit kill you. >> Will you come the hell back now and pick up the trash? As soon as you stop, you realize what a prisoner you were to society in a twisted state of morality. People think that nudists are immoral. Well, we're not. I'm married. I love my wife. In our commune, it's so wonderful to wake up in a big bed and go To breakfast clothed in nothing but a smile. >> What kind of people are there in your weirdo commune? >> Single

people, families, elderly couples, teachers, politicians, and especially truck drivers. Truck drivers understand what it's like to be by yourself in daytime with nothing but country music on the radio and stick in your hand shifting gears over and over. Truckers realize there's nothing to be Ashamed of on the open road. Get naked and beat it on down the line. You've never seen a sense of community and morality like a nudist colony. We share everything. The cooking, cleaning, wives, a shared sense of what it's like to be a complete social outcast. >> Oh, wait right there, Barry.

I'm getting something for the cats. Headphones. Yes. Okay. We just want to tell you a little more about public radio funding. We'll be right back after this. >> I'm Maurice Chalice. Welcome back. I used to be a performance clown. Now I'm running on the big show. Funny how things turn out, eh? >> Or is it? That's the question. You see, if we look up on life as a positive experience, do we make it any better? That's what we're discussing right now here on Pressing Issues. Free radio with free. Keep those donations pouring in. Don't sell

out to corporations. We all need a voice. Really, we do. And today, Right now, we're giving a voice to three very different people discussing positive things. A healthy mental attitude. We've got a growth depressive. We've got a very happy orphan. And we've got a motivational speaker with a number of sisters. So, let's start with you, Constantinos, with strange creepy creature of darkness. Have you got a positive mentality? >> I like to think so. >> Oh, really? >> Misery and suffering, it's everywhere, man. And I actively won a fatal disease. What bad can possibly happen to

me? You could win the lottery. >> The lottery? That's for people with hope. I don't enter the lottery. >> You made it. You're rich. [Music] >> I love your hair. >> Would you like a big shaggy dog with Mercedes? >> Yeah, I'm a little tense. >> What I tell you, Tommy? What I tell you? Ben watch out poison. Then motivate again troops. You see, we all have to face up to a few home truths. I'll never be prom queen. Bill, run. [Music] Never get in a naked life. Too close to whether Phil catch these boosh

shine steals. >> [ __ ] Phil. Take that stuff. >> Hell, you don't have to drink. >> Just a good whiff. I said you are. >> Listen, Phil. You said you could fix me up with some firepower. >> Sure thing. There's some Mexican gun runner been doing me for business. He does his weekly run about now. Hey, >> ram his hardware off the back of his trucks before he goes to ground. And you'd be doing me a favor while you're at it. Then finish him up. Hey, Do yourself a favor. Pick up your telephone. Call

now. 18669. save me. What better place to witness 40,000 years of nuclear winter than from the comfort of your very own space ready nuclear bomb. When we raise 25 million, we will build a 50tory tall. If we raise 300 million, the stature will rotate. So I thank you guys. So we're back on just one of many fine shows you'll hear if you have the patience to listen to public radio. Although thanks to the many awards we have won, pressing issues has extended play time and a man. I was a clown and now I'm a success.

Think about it. Where I could be in 10 years, I can achieve anything. What is >> you come the hell back? Okay. >> Your worst nightmare. To discuss the subject of morality, we have vibrant Preacher Pastor Richard, the head of the Pastor Richard Salvation Statue organization, a group which plans to raise enough money to build a statue of Pastor Richards himself. We also have John Brown, leader of Moms Against Popular Culture or MATC or is it maps map? I don't know. We're deep in acronym hell right now. Or is it >> subject? I have to

get this. Subject Downtown. [Music] [Applause] [Music] you [ __ ] my dick. You got [Music] to escape. [ __ ] [ __ ] You see everyone [Music] on the car. Time for some cardio. [Applause] Why do you people always do this? >> I'm going Hey, Phil. How's it going? Hey, Connie. >> How you doing? This [ __ ] is hot. >> I swear you should lay off that boomshine, man. Smells like paint stripper. Make my eyes burn. Sh, Tommy, and come over here because there's something I want to show you. Some god. Should I be

able to smell that from way over here? >> Don't you worry about the smell. >> You just watch this. >> Shitty cheek bandage or something. There's some more on the bench. Tada. Oh, damn. Watch out Charlie in the tree line. >> Unbelievable. >> Me who the roads made [Music] >> required. Focus. Come out here, man. [Music] [Music] >> Idiots. >> Subject southbound is a yellow [Music] day. [Music] I'm going to die right freaking out too many [Applause] [Music] Up. >> He's got her face down. Little [Music] giant little [Music] >> [ __ ] >> I'm

going to give you a beat there. [Music] >> Like feather cream. [Music] >> What the [ __ ] did you just do? It's beautiful. >> That's so cold. >> [ __ ] >> Hey, [ __ ] [Music] Oh my god. Guess you're the new owner. What are you, Mob? Martel, you don't look Mexican. Anyh who, I guess you better get on with the things are going to change around here crap. Maybe threaten one of the drivers. Go steady on Ted over there. He's just had his hernia Fixed. >> Well, yeah. Things aren't going to change

around here, lady. >> Oh crap, Sunny. Might as well leave this to me. I've been doing this for years. >> Now, here's this. We are now under new management, and things are going to change around here again. Our new management needs >> Which gang are you? >> Well, I'm not part of any gang, actually. >> What's your goddamn name, kid? Edi Tommy Versetti. >> Our new management. The Versetti gang is going to make sure we get no trouble. Capich? Ow. Did you like the Capich? I like the Capiche. So, this is how it's worked in

the past. We run the firm as usual. If we get any trouble from rival firms, you beat the crap out of them. Then they beat the crap out of us. Then you beat the crap out of them, etc., etc. You got it? >> Uh, yeah. I guess >> just grab a taxi from the garage if you feel like jumping in. Okay, we got a high class fair needs to pick it up from Starfish Island. Any takers? >> Tommy here. I'll take it. >> So, what's wrong with this country? All of this emphasis on being thin

and healthy. When my children are hungry, I hand them a spear and send them out to the park to catch their own food. They're learning how to be self-sufficient. Yesterday, my youngest, Jono, killed the postman. But at least he was trying. So, I gave him a cuddle. I told him to hit daddy next time he comes home late smelling of chief perfume. >> Okay, it's time to take a break before we hear about any more criminal acts against government employees. You're listening to pressing issues. Morality is the subject at hand. Let's explain Exactly how free

radio without commercial breaks works. We'll be right back. >> You're listening to VCPR. Finally, a radio station for teachers and librarians. You've been enjoying pressing issues, but as is normal, you can't listen to an hour's worth of programming on this station without us begging for money. It's the buy daily begathon here on VCPR, where we hold your favorite shows hostage until you Pony up some cash. >> You know what's so great about VCPR? >> Show me what you got. >> Who do you think you are, [ __ ] >> This is my fair. Back off,

[ __ ] >> I'll report you to the IRS or dialectical material. >> Come on. Get in quick. >> Patronizing voice on the radio. >> That's right, Michelle. With the way things are going under Reagan, at any moment the unwatched comes from The poets and postal workers and force us to watch network programming. >> That is a frightening thought, but like many things in life, you can throw money at something and feel better about yourself. VCPR is your public radio station, but you have to open your wallets. >> That's right. If you pledge at the

$1,000 level, you'll get tickets for In the Future There Will Be Robots at the Vice City Arts Center. >> People who see that show say it's difficult to put into English. That must mean it's spectacular. >> Yes, but if you don't give money to VCPR, we could be thrown back to the Stone Age. Liberals will be set on fire in the streets. Give now. Let's return to pressing issues. Over to you, Maurice, in the studio. Useless, talentless [ __ ] >> You're correct. He is an [ __ ] >> I love those guys. Really professional

And living proof that all of the best talent isn't on commercial networks. These people do it for love because they have integrity just like me. We're back with pressing issues. I'm Maurice Chavez, winner of five public radio awards in the Vice City area, including best voice. On this show, we take complex issues and boil them down to simple ones you can understand. On this segment of the show, we are discussing morality. Since the beginning of time, Man has asked questions. Why are we here? What time is it? And is there a place around here a

guy can get a drink? Early man, as seen in the cave of Blasos in France, questioned the morality of making the mammoth extinct. You think we all know what happened there? Is it society's job to tell each other how to live? Recently, my city considered passing a public curfew that says nobody can be on the streets after 8:30 p.m. Of course, the bill didn't get passed, but It made people If I don't >> Let's rest the [Music] trendy clothes. Read a history book at the creation of the un >> calling all cars. We're losing fairs

all over town. What's with you guys? >> VC cabs keep beating us to it. They just got too many cars. We can't compete. >> Mr. If you're out there listening and you Want to put some BC caps out of action before we go bus, >> remember to win a game of football or life, you have to annihilate everything in your path in a blind race. [Music] >> This is something for the guys out there. Really, you know, with a girl, right, you ain't got a clue. I mean, a female human when she's on heat right

away. Looks identical to a female human when she ain't on heat and would throw a Drink over your face if you grab her behind and start trying anything intimate. You can't tell the difference. I know that only two women will, but take a monkey from the jungles of the Philippines. When she's on heat, her behind sticks up and glows bright red. She makes a sound a bit like this. And any form or ding that can tell she's right and ready for action certainly clears up any confusion. >> Yeah, I guess it does. >> Or a

finale black widow spider. Now they eat their mates after the devil's done. >> Ooh. >> Yeah, I know. That certainly puts things into perspective, doesn't it? >> I've never done that. >> No, but you can now because you're the same. We are more or less the same. I mean that's the fun thing about my work about genesthetics. >> God the world is so complicated. >> There are also lots of tiny differences between animals. You know what a species is, don't you? >> Yes. >> It's an animal which has other animals which are quite a bit

like it. A dog is a species but a cat isn't because there's lots of cats. However, I've discovered out there in the wilds loads of new species that regular science practiced by repressed BS and laboratories hasn't even known about. Really, I have. There's a horny cat bear name made after many pet, right? Exactly the same as a regular bear, only it's got a big horny growth hidden right down its groin area. You got to reach in, have a fiddle about, and then you find it. Completely different. It is. I was amazed when I found it.

>> I was amazed when I left the hairdressers. >> No wonder, darling. Oh, the double gutted tree monkey. Exactly like a Normal tree monkey. Only it's called after me. And if you have a rumage around inside going in the back door, you discover it's got two digestive tracts. Two. Amazing. >> Ooh, that's gross. >> No, that's the science of Mr. zoo getting down and dirty with animals because I love them and I hate lies. >> Okay. It also says here you like zoos. >> It's a lot of hate. >> That that's nice. >> But I'm

certainly an expert. I know what I'm doing and I'm not afraid to expose myself. >> Okay. Well, I'm getting a little confused here. Why don't we take a break and when we come back, take some phone calls because all the buttons are really flashing all of a sudden. You're on Khat. The science of evolution has uncovered many of life's mysteries like tadpoles or the pyramids. But the mystery of the Armpit remains. What's it for? Why is it hairy? And why do men have nipples? But one thing is for certain people [Applause] or agent orange on

your sweat glands. Hit bomb stops un >> car 13. We got a miss car test as for you especially. >> Okay, I got it. Car 13 out. >> Soon turned to morality. You see, Europeans wanted to colonize America so they had somebody to make fun of. The Pilgrims left England for the religious freedom in Holland where they visited coffee shops. And after they packed up their ships with plenty of coffee, tea, and cakes to liven up the trip, they set sail for the new world, which they heard had a magnificent roller coaster. Once they got

here, they were very hungry, having been on a ship for 65 days. So, they ate for 3 days straight. Thanksgiving quickly became an annual coaster. America was founded by people Who wanted a place where they could tell other people how to live. And I'm a history major, but do we have the right? The question is, is it moral to celebrate Thanksgiving, a holiday that is clearly about gluttony, annoying relatives, and awful casserole? Well, I for one love a casserole. And at my weekly meeting, my congregation has a potluck. You see, a casserole is a lot

like life, Maurice, and that's the basis of my philosophy. If you put a bunch of Leftovers from the fridge in a pan and bake it, somebody will probably eat it. It's like my book. You believe in your favorite sports team, then they get massacred. You believe in gravity, then it turns upside down on you. You love your favorite TV show, then the network ends it with a lousy finale. But you can believe in me, and if you believe in something, support it. It's one thing to love something, but if you don't shower it with money,

then just don't talk to Me. Communism, don't make me puke my guts out, please. >> Well, I myself love casserles on Thanksgiving. And the way to teach your children the rich history of America is through theme parks. I just love pilgrim world. Especially the part where you get to your son or give the clue while buying their land for a >> benefit. And what good is it if a kid plays for 5 Hours? Oh, sure. He's killing space aliens. Thank you very much. But it ain't putting food on the table. And he's learning bad language.

like really when my family go out to dinner [Music] for something to come out. I met your neighbor. How long you waited? >> Hey mister, I'm married. Look at the finger. It has a ring. I've got children for peace. Stop tying me up. >> I wasn't. >> You were. I can see you undressing me with >> piece of [ __ ] It's time for Kman's Guardian Angel to eat some fender. BJ Smith and you must be Mr. Betti. Would you like the tour? Might as well. >> Well, I'm very sad to be selling the dealership

to y'all. This is my first investment after I turned pro. But now it's time for me to move on. You're Leaving town? Not in too much of a hurry, I hope. >> No, I'm just coming out of retirement and preparing for my future comeback. The business wasn't too strong, and my staff took it upon themselves to get a bit more creative with the generational wealth. Obviously, I could wind down the business before handing it over. Hell, I could burn the place down if I wanted to. This is prime development land. >> Oh, I wouldn't worry

about any of that. >> This place seems perfect. >> Yeah, it does. So, I take it we have a deal. >> Don't you talk about in your Library of Congress size tape cassette library? Whatever we talk about breathe gods depression changing lives. >> Who are you? What have you done? That's so great. You wear a chips. >> We have firebrand preacher Pastor Richard, the head of the Pastor Richard Salvation Statue organization, a group which plans to raise enough money to build a statue of Pastor Richard himself. We also have >> Pastor Richard's salvation statue will

be a completely self-sufficient community. We have canned food rations, private living quarters, and enough supplies to survive happily. The predicted 40,000 [Music] Is my livelihood. A little more about public radio funding. We'll be right back after this. >> I'm Maurice Chalice. Welcome back. I used to be a performance. Now I'm running a debate show. Funny how things turn out. [Music] [Music] Hello. Hello. Hello. Look it up. There's a dude here. Hey, S dude. I guess you're the new owner. Yeah. Which one of the boats is the fastest? >> It's already in the water, dude. I

thought you might want to try her out. Dude, she's already running with a 300 horsepower engine. >> The fiberglass hole. She just shoots through the waves. >> She can do like 0 to 60 in 4 seconds flat. Dude, >> she can hold like 20 bails. The best Jamaican smoke right in the hole. >> So, go ahead, dude. She's ready to fly. Yo yo uh suit dude, you got a light, dude. Dude, >> do you have dry mouth? >> I sure do. >> It protects your teeth, fights infection, and lubricates your food. What happens when you

run out of saliva? >> Help me. I can't talk. >> For personal dryness upstairs, it's Salex. >> Wow, I can spit again. >> Saliv is more than saliva in a can. Salex improves consumption efficiency by 50%. No more halfway cures like coating your throat with cooking oil to have that extra piece of cake or bowl of kitty litter. After a night out, my tongue tasted like carpet. It was embarrassing. Now it's solid. I can eat a whole box of crackers or lick my life partner >> stamp collection. >> All night. It's like having a salivation

army in my mouth. Now I can suck a >> lollipop for as long as I want. >> Saliv tastes like your own saliva. That's because at Saliv's state-of-the-art production facilities, we use Salivation Philanthropists who make saliv. When it comes to personal dryness upstairs, we're deadly serious. [Music] I love my morning. You make my life. [Music] Wow. [Music] I love >> giggle cream. It makes dessert funny. >> Hi, this is Adam and you made a very painful. >> I'm Maurice. Welcome back. I used to be a performance. Now I'm running on the big show. Funny how

things turn out, eh? Or is it? That's the question. If we look up on life as a positive experience, do we make it any better? That's what we're discussing right now here on pressing issues. Free radio with free ideas. Just keep those donations pouring in. Don't sell out to corporations. We all need a voice. Really, we do. And today, right now, we're giving a voice to three very different people discussing positive things, a healthy mental attitude. We've Got a good depressive. We've got a very happy orphan. And we've got a motivational speaker with a number

of systems. So, let's start with you, Constantino, you strange, creepy creature of darkness. Have you got a positive mental attitude? >> I like to think so. >> Oh, really? Misery and suffering. It's everywhere. And I accidentally won a fatal disease. What bad could possibly happen to me? You couldn't win the Lottery. The lottery? That's for people. I don't. >> Damn. You You're too healthy here. >> I think he's great. I think he's really sweet. I love your hair. It reminds me of a big shaggy dog with long, greasy, straight hair. >> You know, Chavez, this

weird goth guy, he's got a point. I mean, in many ways, what he's talking about is covered in my three-step program, Tape 17. Motivate, demonstrate, then motivate again. Part Nine, facing home truths. You see, we all have to face up to a few home truths. I'll never be prom queen. Jenny will never have her parents. You'll never make it in the entertainment business. It's about realistic goals. I can change your life. Uh, just a second, robot. What isn't covered in your three-step program? What don't you talk about in your Library of Congress size tape cassette

library? Whatever we talk about, greed, gods, depression, changing Lives. Who are you? What have you done? That's so great. You wear a cheap boot. Your hair is stuck rigid with spray. Your breath in some of whiskey. You You look like you sell drugs to people. You're a joke, buddy. A bad joke. Oh, now this is getting personal. I come on your cheap ass show. I spare my valuable time. I cancel several important speaking engagements. I talk to thousands of VIPs in order to spread a message of hope. And this is how I get Treated. I

get insulted by a man with dandruff. I get slandered by a guy who couldn't use a birthday party with 9year-olds. I get attacked by a guy who works on a volunteer radio. This is not volunteer radio. I earn a salary. How much How much do you earn, Chavez? Big man. Tough guy with a microphone and a jeep jacket and a look that says my highest hope in life is to work in a bookstore. I'm a gogetter. You're a cheapkate. You're a fraud. [Music] Rubaing others and I'm between mansions buster from helping people. Who are you?

>> Your new owner. >> Were you now or at any time? A child. >> What are you talking about? >> Were you a child? >> Yes. Calm down. >> Jewish. A child. A dirty, stinking, Sniveling, snotting, vile, puking, crying little baby. A baby. An awful, horrible, disgusting little boo. Mommy doesn't love you. You little [ __ ] >> Ow. Calm down. >> I hate babies. And I hate children. They're dirty, sniveling, snotting, vile, puke. >> Enough already. What is wrong with you? You make soft ice cream. Okay. It's purely for kids. What kind of psycho

are you? >> Just so I understand this. Why make children happy if you hate them? >> Oh, you stupid, sniveling, snotty. >> Shut up, >> rat. >> The ice cream is a front. We distribute other nondairy products, and if I see a kid, I put him to good use. Don't die, kitties. Yes. Yes, I do. Mommy doesn't love you. She hates you. [Music] I got to go. [Music] Let's [Music] have a [ __ ] death. >> Really? [Music] [Applause] [Music] >> [ __ ] man. My [ __ ] ride. >> Oh my god. You were

so trash last night. >> No. Don't try anything stupid. I almost had A heart attack. [Music] >> What the [ __ ] is going on? >> I'm going to watch you take your last breath, man. [Music] [Applause] Let's go [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] Pardon me. >> Oh dear. Stuck again. [Music] [Music] [ __ ] [Music] [Applause] Oh jeez. Holy [ __ ] [Music] [Music] [Music] >> You're out. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'm a cop. Get out of the way. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] >> [ __ ] [Music] Two goal. [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

[Music] [Applause] Son of a [ __ ] [Applause] Oh, who the [ __ ] was that? [Music] >> Nobody get in my way. >> [ __ ] [ __ ] [Music] Subject's last name for [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I'll never touch the guy. [Music] I've got to get out of here, man. Ao, [Music] what was that? [Applause] [Music] What's up? [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] myself [Music] [Applause] [Music] right Yeah. [Applause] [Music] [Applause] >> Stupid [ __ ] sucker. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] What are you waiting for? [Applause] [Music] Come on. My

girl's waiting for me. [Music] [Applause] [Music] Get a move out. Have a look. [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Holy [ __ ] Yo, get out. Get a move on. [Music] Get a bull. You are one sexy dispatch. [Music] >> [ __ ] Whoa. [ __ ] [Music] [Music] Hello. >> It ain't my problem. >> Unit from Little [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] Hi. Heat. [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Say your prayer assist. [Applause] Let's go. unit from Little Havana. [Applause] [Music] [Music] You need to be a problem. [Music] Jesus. Holy [ __ ] [Music]

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] My wife is going to bust my coordinates. [Music] Holy [ __ ] [Music] [Applause] [Music] >> Idiots. Last amunition. [Applause] [Music] [Music] We're crying out loud. >> All over you, ladyc. >> I got you down. [Music] [Applause] What just freaking happened? [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Suspect eastbound a white truck. >> Eat my tank. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Jesus Mary. Holy [ __ ] [Music] All [Music] [Music] [Music] right. [Applause] [Music] I told you leave me the [ __ ] alone. >> Oh dear. Stuck it again. [Music] The cop. [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

[Music] [Applause] Son of a [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] man. [Music] [Music] Little [Music] radio. >> My [ __ ] car. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] Ain't this a [ __ ] [Applause] [Music] Now that there was something house. [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] action. >> Whoa. Now that's big. >> 12 in. That is regulation, baby. >> Cut. Who is this idiot? You. You. Why are you in my space? Why? >> What is all this crap? Aliens, fishing poles. Who's ever seen a shark that big? All this stuff's got to go.

Why'd you get in this business, you prick? Huh? For the [ __ ] that's why. What is this? >> This is my art. Security. >> Look, you popped [ __ ] I own you now. I own all of this. We're going to turn this place around. I'm going to make you rich. Uh, you're you you're Tommy Vetti, but I thought that you were That's right. We're going to be making some changes around here and start making some real money. Actually, have you ever Thought about um >> First, we're going to need some good-looking bras. >>

Yeah, girls are fine, but you Wow. >> What's that guy think? This is some fruity art crap. Jeez. Like, anyone ever watch movies about fish? Honey, please. What have you done? [Music] thing. >> Do not disrespect Phil. He teaches us The wheel of the year, Amy. It's full of solar holidays and goes round and round and round. You can learn a lot from this on the moon. The sun for too long, meaning it is something to be respected. And the moon has a dark side just like we do. And some people have craters and only

a sixth of gravity. The ancient Britain knew the moon could breathe. We can change the world. Rearranged the world. It's dying though, Amy. And it needs some mouthto-mouth resuscitation. Like a swan or a fish on a hook. If you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your organs seriously and explore them, Yo, Candy, I'm looking for movie talent. You interested? >> Sure, but you'd have to talk to my agent. the hell are you doing? >> You should have stayed at home today. Can you believe this, [ __ ] >> I hope you had Going

to shoot somebody. >> Get down. Come on out. [Music] >> Yeah, I want to know about technology. I play in the future there will be robots. Well, that's a true story. In the future, there will be robots and I'm going to have them all. I'll make you say funny things. You know, I can move around with my computer. >> Computers are cares of ancient Britain. That's why they destroyed the computers That created things faster and more efficient and took their jobs. Oh, shut up. Computers aren't evil. It's the people that program the computer that are

evil. That's a pretty big difference. I'm talking to you through a computer right now. In fact, I am a computer. >> Anything that can faster than me is evil. Anything which doesn't dance or sing or cry or wear a snack. Your creation. We like the dust in the room. We are golden. We've got to get ourselves back to the garden. >> Okay. Okay. I love you. My aunt Susan single. I share my life with a number of valuable partners and we commune with each other and acknowledge our training expressive. Oh malter anyway. Let's go to

the phones. You're on Khat. >> Yes. Thank you. [Music] Ancient queen Medus. Yeah. [Applause] I'm from Hampshire. You see, I mind your own business. >> Oh, wond. >> Yes, I am. You're you're good with show. >> Yes. >> Oh, but you have a broom. Yes. But >> supposing I'd be a bad boy. Like if I hadn't learned my spells or something, would would I get smacked with it? >> Violence is wrong. >> But you must hit Freddy with your broom. But he's been very naughty and not learned his spells. Take me, Harry. Take me. I

deserve it. >> Prank caller. Prank caller. Sorry listeners. Somebody called the IRS. Who let that guy in the country? >> Yes. Poor man so lost in illities with his father. I hope he finds what he needs. And I need >> Come on, let's go. >> Yeah. Good luck. Get him. Yeah. I hope you find what you're looking for. And I sincerely hope you take a bath. We'll be back after this. You're on Kat. Don't go away. >> Those cops are undressing me with their eyes. >> In my long and illustrious threeyear career as a child

pro football, I worked some serious ass and got paid for it. They didn't call me death and tight Pants for nothing. When he had such a rewarding career, manes I had know how to stay fit through running 20 pies on boxes and beating the hell out of your >> Those cops would just love to prison this piece of ass. And now using method effective it's going to work for you with DJ's fit for football. Watch those pals. >> I'm down. >> You better take this thing to the car Wash. >> The method I demonstrated on

tape. I mean who are you going to trust to get a man who can rip your arm off and beat you with the wet or some robust instructor who wouldn't get drafted by the local hopscotch team? Hell no. BJ's Fit for Football out now on Beta and VHS. Remember, to win the game of football or life, you have to annihilate everything in your pan. >> Hey, Mercedes. >> Hey, Tommy. You want a party? >> Not now, sweets. You interested in doing some movies? >> Of course, as long as it's cheap and sleazy. >> You're hired.

Get in. It's like having a personalized alarm >> clock [Music] today. >> So, welcome back and hold that stuff. You're on K Chat with me, Amy Shenous, On Vice City Station for the stars, including me. And boys, have I got a treat for you. Next up is a living legend. A man who won the World Series single-handed, known to his fans as death in tight pants, and known to his enemies as, "Oh my god, I just got flattened by a truck. How is that fair?" It's sports legend BJ Smith. So BJ, welcome. >> You trying

to impress me? >> It's a real pleasure to be here. >> Oh, I know. But one thing's clear. I never won the World Series. That's baseball. I played football. >> Yes, but it's all the same, isn't it? >> Football and baseball aren't the same. And one of them you get bored in a 5hour game. You cut yourself a lot and start a massive brawl with players who are degenerates, egoomaniacs, and greas. >> Yes, but it's all the same. >> No, Amy, it isn't. Anyone can hit a home run. >> Hey, Tommy, you coming in for

a warm up? >> Maybe later, babe? 162 waiting for some action. Talk to a guy who just played an hour of football. He's been in the trenches getting agent or poured all over taking an innocent life. What is the game? time. If that means making a million dollars by standing around all, >> how's filming going, Steve? >> Well, Candy is a natural. And that new girl, she's insatiable. She went through Half the cast and crew before I even took a light reading. Anyway, hey, tomorrow we're going on location to shoot the boat scenes. >> Boat

scenes? What boat scenes? The fisherman are in the throws of passion when the giant shark comes in. >> What' I say about the giant shark? >> I said no giant shark. All right, just keep the cameras pointed at the pont tag. >> Okay. Okay. Hey, Tommy, you guys got to Try, right? >> Get those flyers printed up. >> Yeah, but nobody's going to let us distribute those things. I mean, they're just too uh they're unimaginative. You >> don't worry about that. I've got my own ideas for distribution. >> Okay. Hey, Candy. Yeah, in my trailer.

Before we get started, gentlemen, let me remind you of the rules of engagement. Here on Pressing Issues, the number one rated show on public radio in the Vice City area and hosted by me, Maurice Chavez. Pressing issues is about free speech, not feeding each other he literally or metaphorically. Hey, my daddy used to grow that stuff in the back woods in Missouri. I tell you what, >> yes, thank you. I expect you to listen to each other, and I will only step in where necessary so people on the air don't forget what my voice sounds

like. Sir, I want a clean fight. Nothing below the belt or in the chops. And remember Maurice's motto, which a very wise man, my father once told me. If you listen, one day you might be hurt. And when in doubt, use the smell test. That's so important. I think, don't you? So, obviously, and let's start with crime is up. People are scared to work the streets. Nobody is taking public transportation. Police morale is at an all-time low. Everyone is killing and naming and giving each other the finger, metaphorically speaking. Do you think The government is

doing a good job? Absolutely. Those statistics are interesting, but like all statistics, they are also irrelevant. Let me give you a better statistic, Chavez. In 1980, when I was elected, you were, according to the intelligence gathered on you, a man with no mission. You worked as a clown at birthday parties, corporate functions, bar mitzvah, and gobo bars. You, realizing that you were a hollow man that can only take on the Personality of others, decided to become an actor. And despite going up for 17 auditions that year, you only got work as a fluffer in a

sex ed video. Your tax returns show that you earned less than $2,000. Suffering from anxiety, you attended group therapy for a year and considered getting a sex change. An idiot liberal felt sorry for you and now you host your own radio show, write a newspaper column. Don't mind my bird cage. You got An ex-wife and attractive girlfriend, although she's married to your best friend. And you're on top of the world. So answer me this. Can you really say the years of living under my administration have been bad for you? We are not talking about me.

This is pressing issues, not pressing Maurice. >> Yes. Excuse me if I may. Can we get to the part where we press the issue? You see, that's what's wrong with this city. Liberals just want to open the Floodgates, let anyone in, and make you, the ordinary, hardworking men and women, pay for the pleasure. Well, you have my permission to beat them with sticks. We won't prosecute. You'd be doing us all a favor. Free love. Wig out, don't work. Make love in the field and listen to rock and roll or whatever you call it. Meanwhile, Cray

Shaw, I know your father. He's made a lot of money, which makes him a great person. But for every good conservative, they end up having Some wacko common kid just back from a vacation in the Orient. Who wants to share? Go take that sharing visit to Cuba, Canada. I slipped my way to the top. If you [Music] >> Okay, what's the problem now? >> After his close encounter with the Nympho invaders, our hero finds himself unable to think of anything but this huge fail mountain. And that's when I want to do the scene with the

vat of Mashed potatoes. But then we >> don't give a crap about that. >> Ju just keep going. Keep going. >> You mentioned something about some legal problem on the phone. >> Congressman Alex Shrug has jumped on the pre-election bandwagon. He's going after the Puritan vote. Rumors are he's going to support measures to restrict, shall we say, the more fleshy aspects of this nation's great entertainment industry. >> Okay. All right. Okay, >> Candy. You know, Shrub, >> do you guys get up to anything kinky? >> Okay. Uh-huh. >> Oh, yeah. >> All right then. >>

Oh, yeah. >> All right. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yes. >> You got that. >> Was that part of the uh was she talking to? >> Hey, I can never tell. Anyway, you're probably best following her after the shoot. See if she'll lead you to their new love nest. You got a camera? Yeah, get him a camera. [Music] And I'm still Maurice Chavez. Hi. Next up on pressing issues, we tackle one of the most important issues in our country Today. The issue of perception, not credit card fraud. That's deception. But we're talking about

perception. How we perceive the world. These are optimistic times we're living. A time of gogetters and doers. Our hero is the entrepreneur, the shaker, and the maker. Positive thinking, we are told, is everything. Think it and we can do it. We're done with you. Let's press the issue. Now, personally, some days I wake up and I look out the window and I think it's Great to be alive. Other days, like payday or my ex-wife's birthday, I want to hide under the pillows and cry. But that's me, a man of contradictions. As my therapist said, he

was a young. But whatever. I'm Maurice Chales. And on our panel right now, we've got three very contrasting views about the issue of positive thinking. On my right, I have Gothic artist, vampire hunter, and his words, man of the night, Constantinos. Constantinos, hello. >> Greetings, mortals. I hope this is good. I'm missing a s. >> You don't sound excited to be here. >> No, man. I'm mindn numbingly depressed. It's great. >> Okay, I'm going to have to interrupt you there. And on the left, I have positive thinker extraordinaire. A man who dragged himself up from

the gutter. Jeremy robot. Hey, the ghetto. Not the gutter. I didn't live in the gutter. I live in the ghetto. I'm a survivor, not Vermin. I'm from the streets. Okay. Hey, I can teach you how to be a survivor, too. All of you. I can help everyone. I've got what they call a gift of communication. I can help you all realize that gift. Make something of yourself. Realize your dream. I'm like a high school counselor. I'll show you your potential. It's easy. All you have to do is follow my simple program on audio cassette or

VHS. >> Okay. Okay. Not right now. This isn't a Commercial. And if you're not going to underwrite the station, I can't let you read these bait books. People pay for that. Hey, everything in life is an opportunity. When I was in jail, I got the idea for my current business. And look at me now. I got offices in Vice City, Bogatar, Lebanese, and Jamaica. If I can do it, I can help you make something of yourself. You can be just like me, a success. Enough. Enough. No more. Not a word from you until you are

Called upon again. It's a three-stage process. Learn, start, do. >> Shut up. I'm warning you. This is my show. You shut your mouth and keep it. >> Hey, can you call me Martha? >> Oh, Alex, I mean Martha. Whatever you say. Enough. This is pressing issues. Enough now. Okay. Enough. Please. No more. Okay. My last panelist is someone without a plan to sell without a program But with a beautiful message. So it says here, five city civilian of the year for 1985, Jenny Louise Crab. >> Hi Maurice. This is such a lovely view. Hey, Martha,

someone's watching. How kinky. >> You give me that camera. [Applause] Son of a prick. Nobody get in my way. Remember [Music] me, Tommy Mercedes. [Music] Tommy Merced remember the names [Music] But before I bust your balls, no confrontation. As they say in the movie, I'm a man of peace. I'm done killing. Perfect. What are you? A broken nose? Some speed in your eye? You're pushing me, man. I'm Maurice Chavez. I know who you are. You used to be a clown. I saw you at a bar mist once. You had a great act. What? Did you

get tired of kids Kicking you in the shin? Still, you were a first class talent. I was? Yes. Yes. Great. But you lacked something. I did? Yeah. Confidence, friend. Confidence. You were all shot up with nerves. >> I'd like to be all shot up with inbombing fluid. >> That can be arranged. We're talking about me, not Mr. Constantino Smith. >> Yes, confidence. It's where it all begins. Positive thinking. What are we talking about today, M? I heard that. [Music] I'm sorry, but I just can't swallow this right now, >> darling. He's hung like a sperm

whale for pity sake. How can you not feel apart? >> But Stevie, >> how's my star director? >> Oh, man. The struggle between the artistic integrity and the humping pumping action continues unabated. And before you ask, yes, all four videos Will be released by their Honey, can you please keep the andacon in the shot? costs more per hour than you do. >> Oh, sorry, Steve. >> I was thinking we need some kind of big stunt to really promote the launch. Something that will make a real impact on this city. You got any ideas? >> Well,

in the old days, they used to have gayla events, stars, limos, the night sky crisscross with search lights. >> Search lights. I got an idea. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, little sequin numbers and the limos. Uh oh. Premieres. Oh, yes, ma'am. Of course, ma'am. And the press and the barrage of lies. [Music] Yeah. [Music] Heat. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] I raised four children for this. [Music] [Applause] [Music] the [ __ ] away. >> I might be old. Put my leg. >> I'm going get spotted, man. [Music] It >> sticks. We won't prosecute. You be doing

us all a favor. Free love. Wig out. Don't work. Make love in the field and listen to rock and roll or whatever you call it. Meanwhile, Cray Shaw, I know your father. He's made a lot of money, which makes him a great person. But for every good conservative, they end up having some wacko common kid just back from a vacation in the Orient. Who wants to share? Go take that sharing business to Cuba or Canada or somewhere. I don't have a trust fund or a rich daddy. I know what it is to be poor, to

look at The world from the other side. I slipped my way to the top. If you two would stop uh hooting and carrying on, I have a plan that will save Florida from the yellowbellied snakes that want to slither into this great state from all places north. Oh, stump jumping jet throws using all three of his brain cells to cause >> enough. We've just started and you have proved yourself, Mr. Shrug, to be just as they said. I grant you 1980 was not a High point in my career, but I never applied for a sex

change. I was merely in an exploratory phase and beside which saw the wheat-free clown was a funny act. Once voted best up and cominging dietary restricted comic act in the whole of my city. I tried to take it to the caskets but mount scary large was fooled. Besides we are not talking about me. We are talking about you. Actually if I remember correctly you didn't win. Mary the meatree mime won. In fact, Under legislation I am proposing all of you vegetarians would be kicked out of Vice City. We were given canines and vicuspits for a

reason to open packages of potato chips. Hey, don't get me wrong. I always hated that beach. What's funny about a woman not eating a hamburger? Or my saving a chicken from the slaughterer's hands? Or her big act, I am a milk, a lactating machine for your breakfast cereal. How do you think the little kitty enjoyed that on his Birthday? Not very much. There were ears, not laughter. I can assure you vegetarian performance art must be stopped. Jump in Jehosa fat on a pogo stick. You city slickers got more. Public safety here. I ain't got all

day. What is there a corn on the car eating contest we have to get to? Get some jetlings and grits in the oven. You better date with your sister, eh? Hey, be nice, man. I just wanted to talk a little politics and you made it all Personal, >> right? Let's all stop bickering. Especially you, Shrub. I've got my eye on you. Public confidence is at an alltime low. Nobody feels sick. Just the other night, I saw a man running a mug with a gun, shouting he needed to defend himself. Gun sales are up. Book sales

are down. What do you think, Johnny Pickory? Please press the issue. All right, that's better. Sticking to the matter at hand. Well, it's quite simple, Mister. Immigration is to blame. People are flooding into our state from all over America. trash. It's quite simple. They're bringing their high pollutant upy out of state waste and corrupting the plate. The union we start a new as our own country and ban people from Missouri or Kentucky or [Music] Hey. [Music] Mr. Veti. Hey, you bought the old print works? >> Yeah, my old man used to work on these. I

used to spend the evenings with him cleaning the rollers. I was going to follow him in his trade, but I lived a different life. >> You planning on selling the old machinery? breaking it down. >> I'm thinking we might print something. A newspaper, magazine. >> Oh crap, Sunny. Lowgrade crap. I've Always fancied printing money. It ain't too hard. You know, I've been doing it on a small scale for years. >> Really? >> Sure. But we need some good quality plates. Of course, there's a counterfeiting syndicate already operating in Florida. >> A syndicate? >> Yeah, with

just rumors is all I've heard. >> I know a man who's good with rumors. Request. You are my brother. [Music] Look at the ass on that. >> All right, girls. You're a loss, mate. Is it? All right, me old china. There's hanging. >> What do you know about counterfeiting? >> Oh, I'm fine, Paul. How about you? >> Come here. >> All right. All right. All right. You're obviously a busy man. All I know about Dodgy readies is to try and supply the plates. >> [ __ ] You know, >> they've got a shipping company down

the dock now. The boss man would know when the plates are coming in next. >> Thanks. A >> What's the matter with you, you maniac? Give me another drink. ively sucker ride Mr. Magic over the jam. >> Hello. I'm sure you're enjoying our highquality programming. I'm Michelle Montaneous. Jonathan, I think it's time to acknowledge the people who are sending money in to shut us up and end this dreadful begathon. >> Here's a $10 pledge from Fran in Little Havana. Wow. You think she could have given more than that? >> Yes, mean [ __ ] I

hope she dies an agonizing death. >> Absolutely, Michelle. And remember, if You want us to wish you well, dig deep and dig soon. >> That's right. At any moment, conservatives could vote to end our funding and place a fast food restaurant where our studios are. See, there are some people that think everything has to make money. It doesn't. That's why you should give now. >> Correct. Next week is Environmental Week, sponsored by My Batsu and the Vice City Power Corporation. And next month, We're celebrating P's influence on Vice City in association with the Degeneratron. But

for now, let's return to pressing issues. Remember, VCPR is an advertising free zone, much like the moon or Time Square. >> Welcome back. The show is pressing issues. The subject is morality. I'm Maurice Chalice. Let's carry on pressing the issue. Now, when the Europeans were done ruining their continent with bland food and soccer riots and arrived in the Americas in the late 15th century, the subject soon turned to morality. You see, Europeans wanted to colonize America, so they had somebody to make fun of. The pilgrims left England for the religious freedom in Holland, where they

visited coffee shops. And after they packed up their ships with plenty of coffee, tea, and cakes to liven up the trip, they set sail for the new world, which they heard had a magnificent roller coaster. Once they Got here, they were very hungry, having been on a ship for 65 days. So, they ate for 3 days straight. Thanksgiving quickly became an annual custom. America was founded by people who wanted a place where they could tell other people how to live. And I'm a history major. But do we have the right? Big question. You like this?

[Music] Why? >> You want to get hurt? [Music] Really [Music] nice and Who are you? Oh, I love the face. Bloody face. Oh, I talk. I talk. Subject last. [Music] >> Where the hell they go? >> This is now over. Everyone the screw In my I'm going to be okay. I'm going to go. >> I know. I got [Music] [Applause] [Music] heat. [Applause] seat belt 53D as [Music] sorry [ __ ] engine. [Music] All right, the courier's moving the plate from the docks today. I'm going to go intercept them, grab the plates, lose any heat,

and make my way back here. Now, depending how well this goes, we may have five minutes to print the money before the counterfeit syndicate finds us, or we may have all year. Either way, I want green rolling off the presses 5 minutes after I get back. Got it. >> Don't you worry, Tommy. We'll be ready. Me and the boys will be around in the neighborhood in case you need any heat taken care of. >> All right, everybody cool. All right, I'll catch you later. Happy now, [ __ ] >> A new musical trend and a

great excuse to use. >> I'm Maurice Chalice. Welcome back. I Used to be a performance. Now I'm running a debate show. Funny how things turn out, eh? Or is it? That's the question. You see, if we look upon life as a positive experience, do we make it any better? That's what we're discussing right now here on Pressing Issues. Free radio with free ideas. Just keep those donations pouring in. Don't sell out to corporations. We all need a voice. Really, we do. And today, right now, we're giving a voice to three very Different people discussing positive

thinking, a healthy mental attitude. We've got a goth depressive. We've got a very happy orphan and we've got a motivational speaker with a number of sisters. So, let's start with you, Constantinos, you strange, creepy creature of darkness. Have you got a positive mental attitude? >> I like to think so. >> Oh, really? >> Misery and suffering, it's everywhere, Man. And I actively won a fatal disease. What bad can possibly happen to me? >> You could win the lottery. >> The lottery? That's for people with hope. I don't enter the lottery. >> You could? Damn. You

You two help me here. >> I think he's great. I think he's really sweet. I love your hair. It reminds me of a big shaggy dog with long, greasy, straight hair. >> You know, Chavez, this weird goth guy, He's got a point. I mean, in many ways, what he's talking about is covered in my three-step program, Tape 17. Motivate, demonstrate, then motivate again. Part nine, facing home truths. You see, we all have to face up to a few home truths. I'll never be prom queen. Jenny will never have her parents. You'll never meet. >> Get

the plate. realistic. What you talk about in your library? Whatever we talk about means cause Depression changing lives. Who are you? What have you done? That's so great. You wear a cheap suit. Your hair is stuck rigid. You want to get hurt? You look like you sell me a bad job. Oh, this is getting personal. I come on your cheap ass show. I spare my valuable time and I cancel several important speaking occasions. I talk to thousands of VIPs in order to spread a message of hope. And this is how I get treated. I get

insulted by a man with Dandruff. I get slandered by a guy who couldn't use a birthday party at 9year-old. I get attacked by a guy who works on a volunteer radio. This is not volunteer radio. I earn a salary. How much? How much do you earn, Chavez? Big man. Some guy with a microphone and a cheap jacket and a look that says my highest hope in life is to work in a store. I'm a gogetter. You're a cheapkate. You're a fraud with nothing to death and no way of helping people. >> Excellent. I'm really loving

this. I hope one of them gets killed. >> Shut up, dork. >> All the bunnies are stabbing each other. >> Shut up. I have a condo. I have a hot tub. A vacation in a room. Vacation is not a verb, [ __ ] Yes, it is. Because I'm a VIP. I'm very important. And I'm a teacher, a wise man, not an opinionated adult, a naysayer sitting on the side of life, criticizing others while all he can do Last. Okay. What's the emergency? Oh, >> who? >> Tommy. Some mob thugs said they'd come to take their

cut. Said it was a Mr. Fel's money. I feel like crap. >> Felli? Sunny Felli? >> Yeah, that's the guy. I think they were very insistent. >> Not angry with you. Get him to the hospital. Tommy, rip that guy a new [ __ ] for me. >> I'm going to rip him, too. >> Hello. I'm sure you're enjoying our high quality programming. I'm Michelle Montaneous. Jonathan, I think it's time to acknowledge the people who are sending money in to shut us up and end this dreadful megathon. >> Here's a $10 pledge from Fran Little Havana.

Wow. You think she could have given more than that? >> Yes, mean [ __ ] I hope she dies an agonizing death. >> Absolutely, Michelle. And remember, if you want us to wish you well, dig deep and dig soon. >> That's right. At any moment, conservatives could vote to end our funding and place a fast food restaurant where our studios are. See, there are some people that think everything has to make money. >> No, it doesn't. That's why you should give now. Correct. Next week is Environmental Week sponsored by My Batsu And the Vice City

Power Corporation. And next month, we're celebrating P's influence on Vice City in association with the Degeneratron. But for now, let's return to pressing issues. Remember, BCPR is an advertising free zone, much like the moon or Time Square. Welcome back. The show is pressing issues. The subject is morality. I'm Maurice Chavez. Let's carry on. When the Europeans were done and arrived in the Americas, They soon turned to morality. You see, Europeans wanted to colonize America. So they had somebody to make fun of. The pilgrims left England for the religious freedom in Holland. He engaged to liven

up the trip. They set sail for the new one. which they heard had a magnificent roller coaster. Once they got here, they were very hungry, having been on a ship for 65 days. So, they ate for three days straight. Thanksgiving quickly became an Annual custom. America was founded by people who wanted a place where they could tell other people how to live. And I'm a history major, but do we have the right question? Is it moral to celebrate Thanksgiving, a holiday that is clearly about gluttony, annoying relatives, and awful casserole? Well, I for one love

a casserole. And at my weekly meeting, my congregation has a potluck. You see, a casserole is a lot like life, Maurice. And that's the basis of my philosophy. If you put a bunch of leftovers from the fridge in a pan and make it like my book, you believe in your favorite sports team, then they get massive. You believe in gravity, then it turns upside down on you. You love your favorite TV show, then the network ends it with a lousy finale. But you can believe in me and I run this town now. Me love something.

But if you don't shower it with money, then just don't call me. Communism. Don't make me give Hot. >> Well, I myself love casserles on Thanksgiving. And the way to teach your children the rich history of America is through theme parks. I just love pilgrim world. Especially the part where you get to slaughter your own buffalo and take home the meat or give the locals the flu while buying their land owner for kittens. That's what children need. >> Wholesome activities that benefit the family. And what good is it if a kid Plays Degeneratron for 5

hours? Oh, sure. He's killing space aliens. Thank you very much. But it ain't putting food on the table. and he's learning bad language like when my family go out to dinner we're starting from scratch even if wasn't late again. [Music] >> How long do you wait to get arrested? >> Hey, what's going on, >> Tommy? Oh, good, good, good. Listen, Listen. Uh, listen. I like fish. I love fish. I love them as pets and balls or as food on a plate, but as much as I love them, I don't want to sleep with them. Okay.

But right now, your Italian brothers are coming from up there to fit me with some cement shoes. And I hate >> Shut up, Ken. Sit down. Lance, what the hell's going on? >> It's your friends up north, Tommy. They ain't too happy you kept their man. They're coming down to see the business today. They took longer than I thought. Guys, we got to make this final. We got to leave no doubt that this is my operation. Mine. Ken, you get the first run of counterfeit cash and put 20 mil in briefcases. Lance, you get the

guys together. [Music] >> Tommy, why? No big hugs for your old buddy. >> I've had 15 years out of the loop. I'm a Bit rusty on family etiquette. Oh, he's angry, huh? Tommy, didn't I say your temper would get you into trouble? Huh? >> There's 3 million cases. >> How many was it? 10? No, 11 men. That's how you get to be called the Howard Butcher. >> You sent me to kill one man. One man. They knew I was coming, son. >> Watch your tone. Anyone would think you blame me for that unfortunate set of

circumstances. >> Just take the money. >> Get the damn cash. You know, Tommy, I did what I could for you. I pulled strings, called in favors. I was your friend, Tommy. I hoped you'd see sense, see what's good for business. I trusted you, Tommy, and you disappointed me. But at least someone in your chicken [ __ ] organization knows how to do business. Isn't that right, Lance? Sorry, Tommy. This is Vice City. This is business. >> You sold us out. No, I sold you out, Tommy. I sold you out. The real cash is upstairs in

the safe. So, Tommy, what was the big plan? You think I just take the fake cash, save face, and run away with my tail between my legs? No, I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you. You want to me yourself. >> My name is Shut up and do what you're told. >> No time for peace. You [ __ ] You want to get hurt? >> Careful. [Music] >> Cover would be good. >> No one to cover your ass now. Aid Tommy, >> you're going down, you backstabbing prick. Oh, you think so? Let's

get in. You >> picked the wrong side. Lance. [Music] >> You're Merced. Remember the name. I really want to die. I'm ready for you. Stupid [ __ ] sucker. Get off of me. Really? You stupid prick. Shoot me, [ __ ] I'm in here. Don't mess with me again. You took 15 years from me, Sunny. And Now I'm going to make you pay. >> You still don't get it, do you? I own you, Tommy. Those 15 years were mine to spend. Get him, boy. Watch out. >> You want some? >> No one to cover your

ass now. Hey, Tommy. You're going down, you backstabbing prick. This is the last dance for Lance's fans. You took 15 years from me, Sunny. And Now I'm going to make you pay. Make you pay. >> Tommy. Oh my god. Tommy, what what happened? What does it look like? >> It looks like you ruined your suit. And Tommy, that was a beautiful suit. Tommy, what on earth happened? >> Had a disagreement with a business associate. You know how it is. >> Tommy, I have a disagreement. I send them an angry letter. Maybe I pee in Their

mailbox. I don't start World War III. You know, maybe you should speak to my shrink. >> That stupid prick, Lance. >> Tommy, I never like that guy. Okay. He's neurotic. He's insecure. He's self-centered. The guy's an [ __ ] I'm glad you took him out. >> I don't think we're going to be getting any more heat from up north either. >> Cuz there ain't no up north anymore. It's all down south now. >> Wait, does that mean what I think it means? Tommy, baby, >> what do you think it means? >> That we're in charge?

I I mean that you're in charge. >> Oh, Tommy. >> You know, Ken, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful business relationship. After all, you're a conniving, backstabbing two-bit thief, and I'm a convicted psychotic killer and drug dealer. I know. Ain't it just beautiful? [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] I feel right now. [Music] [Music] Heat. Heat. [Music] [Music] Hallelujah. [Music] [Music] Heat. [Music] Heat. Heat. Heat. [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Hallelujah. [Music] I am [Music]