How to Create a New Version of Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Regret with Sarah Jakes Roberts

I feel this energy and this truth that comes through you like it just gets me so choked up to be in the presence of somebody that has such a gift I'm curious to hear your thoughts on what you believe most of us need to hear and be reminded of most people underestimate how necessary their existence is in the world and as a result assume a posture of Resignation that leaves the world less than what it could be our lives are not random they are not coincidences we were all given these lives to make the world

better and I feel like most people underestimate how necessary they are and as a result they don't take their healing seriously they don't take their thoughts seriously but if we truly ever tapped into the high value of our breath it would change what we speak it would change what we Think it would change how we show up in the world and it would quite literally make the world a better place oh Sarah Jake Roberts just gave you a gift hey it's your friend Mel there are going to be times in your life when you wake

up and wonder have I messed it all up periods in your life you know that just suck where you've made a major mistake you feel a lot of Regret maybe you're still there mentally right now or maybe someone that you love is going through a really low period in their life when you're struggling it begs the question can you really overcome any failure or any pain or regret or mistake that you've made in your life and if if I were to tell you that there's absolutely no mistake that will keep you from becoming who you're

truly meant to Be would you actually believe me well after today you will because you're about to meet a remarkably inspiring person who has been knocked down over and over and over again and she knows the secret to getting back up to finding your power even when you feel powerless when you were little you once thought anything was possible this episode today will remind you it still is because there is nothing that you've done that will stand in the Way of who you want to become so if you're tired of regrets holding you back and

if you're sick of beating yourself up over the mistakes that you've made today you're going to learn how to pick yourself back up and take that big old old pile of leftovers from life and turn it into a fstar meal you know I always say no one's coming but today someone special is here the one and only Sarah Jake Roberts I am so excited to get to spend some time with you thank you I'm Looking forward to it so I would love to have you start by talking directly to the person who's listening and share

with them what they can expect to experience and learn from you today like how might their life change if they take everything that you're about to share to heart I would say today you are going to learn to rest in the truth of who you Are not just your hopes and dreams the achievements and shiny things but the things that have been hard and challenging today you're going to find a way to rest in that embrace it accept it and then allow it to propel you into a big beautiful future oh yeah I'm ready yeah

yeah I I I I would like that let's go let's let's go and in order to go forward I think oftentimes in life you got to look back yeah and one of the things that I love The most about you there's so many things that I love about you but I love that whenever I watch you online or I tune into a sermon or I read something that you've written I feel as though I have somebody walking by my side not somebody speaking down from above yeah and you have a story in terms of your

past that I think a lot of people don't realize and I would love for us to go back in time before we start talking about the wisdom that you have to share Because there is so much that you've learned learned from those periods in your life and so can you take us back to this moment in time you are the daughter of a well-known mega church pastor and something happens in your personal life yes I got pregnant at 13 years old I had my son at 14 years old which I think is a staggering sentence

no matter whose child you are but the added complexity of my father being a prominent leader in faith I think further intensified the Sense of Shame the sense of guilt that I had to weigh through for about 10 years and I think also that was heightened by this fact that like though I have this family that is huge in the faith world I never really felt like like one of the good girls one of the god girls one of the church girls and so in many ways it felt like this pregnancy just confirmed a pre-existing

insecurity that for some reason I didn't fit and so so my pregnancy is when I accepted like okay This is not for me I'm going to figure life out on my own and I'm going to let all the good church people do what good church people do and I'm just going to figure everything else out well God had different plans I think he did um you know when I think about the age 13 yeah and 14 how did you even process something like that as such a young girl I didn't I thought the worst thing

that was going to happen was like I'm going to get in trouble like I'm Going to be grounded like we didn't even have cell phones at the time like oh my gosh we're going to take the antenna out of the TV and take the phone cord out of the wall like this is going to be punishment it wasn't until I saw their reaction that I began to realize that this is bigger than just you're in trouble this is a life-altering experience that has created grief in our family and I think that seeing their grief seeing

them struggle with what it Means to have a child that's having a child made me realize that whatever just took place here has changed my life forever and it's interesting that you in reflecting back can say my immediate reaction was one of going oh well there are those kind of people over there that are The Godly church people I'm always going to be over here yeah what was that Journey like over those 10 years where you were wrestling yeah with that Natural Instinct that we all have That we separate we don't see ourselves as connected

to other people we push back against the love that's coming at us or the support that's coming at us how did you even move through that well I think so I started off comparison so I'm not like them so let me figure out who I am like and so I would say you know what I kind of feel like I'm close to this kind of girl so I'll be that kind of girl and then I got with those kind of girls I'm like I don't exactly Fit here so let me go here and I thought

maybe achievement maybe success maybe relationships I can be like whoever this other girl is supposed to be and then I will try and find myself and I think as long as I was trying to be like some other version of someone that I never had an opportunity to figure out who I was and so for 10 years I was trying on like Cinderella trying on different shoes like I was just trying going on shoe after shoe after shoe until I said You know you know what I'm going to be barefoot who needs choose you know

I'm a country girl from West Virginia I'm going to be barefoot I'm going to stand flat-footed in the truth of who I am I'm going to stand flat footed in this maybe it is isolation maybe it is loneliness maybe I don't fit anywhere maybe I just fit Within Myself And from that space I said you know what I've tried literally everything I have waitress at a strip club I've tried these toxic Relationships I've gone to school I worked for the government I tried everything I said you know what I'm going to try faith I'm going

to try and figure out if this God who they talk about who loves you no matter what like I'm going to see if maybe possibly it works for someone like me and I think from there this really intimate relationship with God allowed me to encounter healing and love and restoration and I thought that it would Just be between me and God that it would make no sense to anyone else but it finally made sense to me you said something that struck me that maybe I could just fit Within Myself yeah what does that mean maybe

I can just Embrace myself instead of seeking a sense of belonging a sense of okayness from other people if I could find a way to be okay with myself then I can wrap my arms around who I am and for Me I had to sit with myself until I no longer cringed I had to sit with myself until I no longer felt shame I had to sit with myself until I could experience compassion where I once felt guilt and from that place of compassion I learned to to love who I am and like yes this

is my story and know it may not be perfect but I'm going to stick beside me every single one of us has stuff that we've done in the past things that we have done to ourselves or Other people mistakes that we think that we've made how do you begin the process of sitting with yourself how do you learn how to forgive yourself it starts with intention I sat with myself I will say those 10 years I was sitting with myself but I was Sting sitting with myself punishing myself how could you be so stupid you

made the biggest mistake no one's ever going to want you sometimes We are sitting with ourselves but how we are sitting with ourselves is why we can't heal you can't want to heal and punish yourself at the same time to repeat the words that other people have spoken over you that were negative having it Replay in your mind over and over again while you sit with yourself will never bring you to a place of healing sitting with yourself with the pursuit of compassion with a pursuit of love and acceptance that is when we Start sitting

with oursel and experience some discomfort and some you know disregulation because sitting with myself and trying to be compassionate requires me to stretch to love myself in a way that I don't think it's possible and as long as you don't think it's possible to sit with yourself and love yourself every facet of who you are it doesn't matter who you love it doesn't matter what you achieve until you can really sit with yourself none of those Things are going to make you feel better either but it is the greatest absolute greatest gift that you can

give yourself to allow love to flood the place where you once felt in emptiness I just want to make sure that as you're taking your walk or you're washing your dishes or you were driving in your car that you caught the actual magic that just came through the speakers or the headphones I have never heard anybody Say something as profound as you just said you cannot heal while you are still punishing yourself oh yeah and we don't do ourselves any favors by committing to punishing ourselves over and over again for what we did for what

we allowed to happen this is what we say though we say to ourselves I'm going to keep this from happening again by Constantly living with it right in front of me and if I can live with it right in front of me if I can beat myself up if I can punish myself then I will keep this from happening again I will prepare myself for further rejection from other people if I constantly remember how unworthy I am how little value I possess and so in many ways we think this is me protecting Myself by constantly

keeping it in front of my face but if we're honest we do Long for an existence where we want to to believe that I am not just this one moment but we will never be more than that one moment if we constantly Replay that moment in our head and so to invite into our atmosphere what other moments do I want to have what other things do I want to Define me I spent so long not wanting to be defined as a teen mom instead of saying I will be defined as being a Teen Mom but

also I'm going to be an Incredible person but also I'm going to love myself but also I'm going to dream and I'm going to be an author and a Teen Mom I'm not trying to disconnect from who I was I'm trying to bring all of who I am into the fullness of where I am uh Sarah Jake Roberts just gave you a gift but also yeah but also but also I'm this and that I'm like I am all of these things and I thought that because I was this one thing I had no permission to

be anything else so yeah the truth is yeah I'm a teen mom yes I've gone through divorce I've got a laundry list of things that I never wanted to be that I've had to step boldly in and in addition to that I'm on the Mel Robins podcast and in addition to that you know what I mean millions of people tune into you every single week all of those things are true all of these things are true and I don't want to be all of my achievements gosh can you imagine what that would be the pressure

and arrogance Connected to that I want to be this beautiful Beau mixture this beautiful tapestry of a girl on a journey and a woman owning her power and I can live in all of that I can do all of that a girl on her journey and a woman on in her power somebody needs to write a song Holy Cow do you when you're speaking have this experience of just things flowing through you like I I don't even feel like it's a Conversation I feel this energy and this truth that comes through you like it just

gets me so choked up to be in the presence of somebody that has such a gift oh it's um I believe that I'm anointed for this I believe that anything that I've done in the earth is not a reflection of my skills or my talents or something you pick up in a book this is a full submission to my belief that I am Made in the image of God and that I have this incredible opportunity to reflect God's glory everywhere I go and if I can get past my nerves if I can get past my

insecurity if I can get past my second guessing and rest in that truth there is a flow that just happens and it doesn't just happen like in this like I'm in this flow when I'm raising my children they're opening up to me and I'm like God you know don't let me be worried don't let me overreact you know What I mean let me reflect your glory in their vulnerability let me reflect your glory when I go into this meeting I I really do want to be a light in this world and After experiencing as much

Darkness as I have gone through to offer just a flicker to another person like maybe I can't be this big brilliant light for everyone but if today in this moment you're listening and I get to be a flicker on your journey just know that there are other Flames connected that Are going to build this Inferno of who you're going to be but we got to gather every flicker right yeah and I think that's the part of life that many of us miss is that we're waiting for these big moments that are going to shine a

huge light on us and when I have that huge light then I'm going to feel better I'm going to be confident I'm going be powerful but I am beginning to believe that it's all about us Gathering those little moments those little like Christmas like size moments where things are just a little bit better and then we look up and things have become brilliant you know millions of people do tune in to your every word and having watched and listened to your sermons and experienced what a force you are I'm curious to hear your thoughts on

what you believe most of us need to hear and be reminded [Music] Of most people underestimate how necessary their existence is in the world and as a result assume a posture of resignation that leaves the world less than what it could be our lives are not random they are not coincidences there is nothing more special about me than there is about you we were all given these lives to make the world better and I feel like most People underestimate how necessary they are and as a result they don't take their healing seriously they don't take

their thoughts seriously we put ourselves on discount and give ourselves away to like the lowest bidder because we have these aching inside of us but if we truly ever tapped into the high value of our breath it would change what we speak it would change what we think it would change how we show up in the world and it would quite literally make the World a better place like if you can just make your world your friends your family your sisters your co-workers if you can take seriously the impact you have in your corner of

the world and then I take seriously the impact that I have with my influence in my corner of the world those incremental commitments are how we begin to change The Narrative of what it means to be humans surviving together that's beautiful and I think you're right I do too I get struck by The number of people that write in every single day that are seeking purpose yeah and I think to myself well your purpose is to heal and to share yourself and to make yourself better and then make everybody that comes in contact with you

feel a little better to spread the light that you're talking about but it starts with you yeah you said something that just holy cow I'd never heard this it's this concept of discounting yourself oh yeah to the lowest bidder yeah can you Explain that yeah so when I look at the 10 years of my life where I struggled y first of all I grew up in church yep during the height of Purity culture okay so the highest prize was to be this like untouch virgin when you get married they didn't care if you went to

school they didn't care like girl just don't give it up over and over again just like girl don't do it okay well I did it I was like okay I'm do that you guys are not going to do it do it I did it okay and So I'm like all right we're going to knock that price down a little bit put a little sticker over my worth and my value and then I'm like well hey the price is is already low you might as well try some other things and so I think little by little

I fell for this idea that if I cannot live up to someone else's definition of a woman someone else's definition of a Believer someone else's definition then I have to discredit I have to Discount who I am And the only problem with that is when you begin to see yourself as less valuable you also accept things that you would not otherwise accept if you felt like you had value if I were smart enough if I were thin enough if I were beautiful enough then maybe I wouldn't have to do this but since I don't have

these things I have to accept that and that is a lie your value is not set by these experiences you have gone through they are not set by Society standard I Don't care what they call beautiful I don't care what they call powerful your value is an inside job it is a commitment that says you know what the truth of who I am my ability to survive all that I've gone through the way that I have seen the world has added to my value not decreased it and that is some big bad bold belief that

not many of us are able to tap into but if we can just try by faith to say you know what what if that didn't change anything I work With women quite a bit and while my issue was teen pregnancy and having to recover from that I know enough about what women have gone through to know that whether their parents went divorced they got divorced molestation like they've have all of these experien that they think in some way has made them different than the person they're sitting next to and because I am not as valuable

then I have to do things that they don't have to do what I have Learned is that everyone has had some type of experience that has challenged them in their belief of their value and because we've all had these types of experiences maybe we aren't any less valuable as a result of the experiences maybe instead we're more valuable because the wisdom and resiliency connected with having to face these things have made us more confident more courageous in how we can show up in the world there's a conversion that has to Take place but once that

conversion happens there's a relentlessness that is attached to it as well for the person listening who is nodding along and the way you just frame this idea that if you take any mistake that you make and then you discount yourself and you start to tell yourself this story over and over again that you're not valuable which then makes you accept behaviors in your life or makes you discount your own value and you said You know actually no there's a flip here like all those experiences actually create wisdom yeah they make you human and it's what

you do with those things that matters and you have control over that and most people are sitting there talking about what happened yeah instead instead of flipping it into something that they can use to make something extraordinary happen you have this concept about life giving you leftovers yeah and how you make a meal out of it Can you share that with us because I have a feeling that that's sort of a tool we can use to help us look at the things that we keep beating us ourselves up over okay so if I go back

to when I was pregnant um and mind you I was 14 years old so I thought that the only way I could recover from my pregnancy was to create a new life a new existence and so my goal was to do something completely new I'm going to be an accountant I'm Going to be a CFO I am going to put something on top of this team pregnancy that's going to make things better and I think that the reason why I know that the reason why I failed over and over again in trying to create something

new is that I wasn't using what I had left over instead of saying okay this is this is what's in my cabinet I'm a teen mom I'm a smart girl I have a writing gift I kept trying to reinvent who I was oh and you can't Reinvent who you are using ingredients that don't exist you got to use all of the ingredients so yes I have all of these gifts and talents but I also have a child I'm still struggling with you know my insecurities I've gone through this divorce I have to take all of

this in order to create something that is really going to be authentic to who I am because what I don't want to do is reinvent a version of myself that requires me to pretend that I'm not who I was this is who I am you know like this is my truth and when you fight to really accept the truth of who you are you don't allow it to be snatched easily out of your hands and because it's not snatched easily out of your hands whatever you build with those things aren't snatched either when I started

blogging because this is how all of this became a thing where I had like a following so just to put it in a Timeline are you like in your early 20s in my earlys okay so you open up the cupboard and I love that visual because I think most of us when we say let's just look at what you got let's just take the wrong ingredients take all like for me it's like being molested it's all the cheating that I did it's the anxiety that I struggled with it's the what a I used to be

it is all of like just all of it you know Sarah when I open up that cupboard I'm Like you know what I'll just go I'll just go grocery shopping I'm going grocery shopping I'm not cooking with this yeah exactly no no no no I'm not to the cover let's do something with the let's paint the cover it shut let's do something let's distract everybody over here but it makes so much sense yeah because until you get comfortable with the ingredients that you have and you see it as something to use yeah not to be

ashamed Of yeah not to hide because the the stuff that you hide people and the world then has power over for sure for sure but the second that you open up the cupboard and you are willing to look at what you're working with yeah now you have power yeah ah I love it that that to me is like the greatest message that any of us need to understand is that like us closing the cabinet means that I have to live in existence that pretends that I don't have what I have and that Is stressful and

that is inauthentic and then we start people pleasing because if I'm not going to embrace who I am then I'll just be whoever you need me to be but when you say you know what this is who I am and you're going to have to meet me you're going to have to meet me here I'm still growing I'm still talented but this is what I have to offer this is what I bring to the table and I have found value in it I can show you the value that I have found in it But until

I see it as valuable I can't expect anyone else to see it so yeah in my early 20s I'm like okay I'm going to start blogging I was in a toxic relationship and I'm just like I don't know how I got here so writing for me is how I process my thoughts and I'm dumping it onto the internet not thinking it's going to mean anything then people people start connecting to this blog and now they're being inspired and I'm like oh Lord I didn't mean to open the com not inspired by me and so I

was like you know what I'm going to slow this train down by telling them like I got pregnant at 13 years old like I'm going through a divorce I dropped out of college I am not your inspiration and then I still was they were like oh my gosh me too oh my gosh I'm no longer alone in this I didn't know that someone else felt this way and now all of a sudden those things that I Thought disqualified me those things that I thought I could never use are the things that people actually had a

taste for this authenticity this truth this uncertainty and this willingness to own it there was an appetite for that that at the time it felt like very few people were willing to say this is who I am this is what I've gone through and that appetite wasn't just for you to say this is who I am but also I really wish that I could also be this and so in my early 20s I started this journey of like this is where I am this is what I hope to be true I'm going to live like

it's true and these women who have been on this journey with me have seen my life evolve literally as a result of a saying like hey maybe we are the Misfits maybe we aren't the ones that anyone wanted but girl I'll claim you But first you got to claim your cupboard for sure got to claim your cupboard that is such a phenomenal metaphor yeah Because all the people pleasing results in you not wanting people to see what's in there for sure and until you learn how to go into those places where you're punishing yourself yeah

and you said when we first started talking allowing the love and compassion and acceptance to flow into those places that have been really dark well they've been dark because the cabinet doors are closed yeah yeah for sure and I mean it's really liberating it sounds scary I can Feel the fear that you're probably experiencing right now at the very idea of going into that space that maybe your mom didn't have the courage to go in your father never talked about because a lot of this is generational right it's how our family's paradigms have shaped the

way we see ourselves and the way we see what we're working with and I am just here to let you know this is what I love about the book that I wrote is that I am not going to make you drastically Change your life overnight just between you and you can you open that cupboard just between you and you can you say this this is all that I'm working with and some of it's real spicy and some of it's bland and some of it's bitter and some of it's very very sweet just if you could

create intimacy within yourself where you say this is all of who I am if you can hear your own story that's the beginning if you can hear it and not cringe if you can hear it and accept it That's the beginning and from that space you whisper it to another person there's a friend who's going through something and because you've gone through your cup you say hey I got some of that too I just want you to know that that doesn't have to be the end and from community and connection we begin to spread our

story and that spreading is why I'm here and that spreading is the light that we get to offer to the world it's our testimony Which again going back to the cupboard it's dark when it's closed yeah so opening it up is the beginning of that little Christmas light that you're talking about that starts to Sparkle and that we spread and every time you open your mouth and you tell your story that makes the light a little bit bigger yeah and you were saying that we make a mistake in waiting for these big bonfires in life

oh yeah when every single day there's the opportunity to Open the cupboard door and open your mouth yeah and tell your story and that's where the light and the magic is for sure for somebody who's in the place where because for a long time when I started looking I guess I used to say back but since until you actually sit with what's in your cupboard yeah it's in the present baby it's right very far well that's the other thing is that we talk a lot about regret yeah but because you won't sit with it Yeah

it's actually not in the past no yeah and so for someone who is entertaining that liberating and courageous moment of even faith in yourself to face it right and you do cringe like I there are some things yeah that the Mel Robins when I was Mel schneberger there is stuff that I don't know that I still cringe but I'm like oh God woman you know like what were like and I have compassion sure sure sure but For somebody that hasn't ever sat with it and the cringe is there and you want to turn from it

do you have any tools or advice for how to sit through the cringe and what is actually coming when you allow all of that grief and that judgment to rise up inside you I love that to use the word grief I'm an analogy girl if you haven't oh God I love that bring it okay so here we go so I think that part of the reason why we Feel regret when we look at those moments in our lives that make us cringe is because we are constantly turning on a movie right in the middle and

looking at one particular scene of our life over and over again and judging our life based on that scene if you are in a moment right now where you're flirting with the idea of learning to sit with yourself and experience compassion for what you've gone through I would dare you to look at your whole movie in Totality when I thought about the idea of me getting pregnant at 13 I would I would cringe like girl like how could you over and over again now when I think about it I feel sorry for who I was

at 13 not sorry like because of who I am but I feel compassion I feel her lostness I feel her isolation I feel her loneliness I feel her anger I understand why I made that choice I know what I was looking for I know what I didn't have because I sat with myself and when You're in a family like my parents have their lives exploded overnight people talk about like mega churches Mega pastors like no one sets out for it to be Mega people keep coming and it's like I guess we need a bigger building

you know what I mean and so you make these big buildings and you know I guess we're supposed to do stuff in the communities that like you respond to the need and while they were so busy dealing with whatever it meant to be thrust into The spotlight they thought we were okay they really did they thought we were okay but we were lost in a sea of people and overnight Our Lives went from having this family church where we knew everyone to all of a sudden people sending death threats and we need security and we

weren't okay no one was helping us process what was happening they couldn't process it and so I was lonely I was angry I didn't fit so when I think about who I was when I got Pregnant if I just look at me rubbing my belly at 13 I could say oh so cringy or I could say man that girl was really hard broken that girl really needed someone who could see her that girl really needed someone who would tell her where she fit in this world or to take her out of that world and to

help dive into her own world I didn't have those things and as a result of that I tried to self soothe and I made some choices that I wish I could have done Differently mainly for the sake of my son not having to grow up with me at the same time I was growing up yeah but I don't feel bad about that anymore because I see the whole movie and so if you're watching this or listening to it I want you to know that you do not have to look at your life at one scene

at a time that the greatest gift you can give yourself is to look at it from the opening credits to where you are now and understand that anyone who had what you Had in the cabinet would have probably made the same choice they would have likely ended up addicted too maybe they would have been heartbroken as as well maybe they would have been per whatever your thing is that makes you cringe if you look at the whole movie given what you had to work with I want you to know that you did the best that

you could I love that you are reminding us to go back to the beginning Yeah because we not only freeze the frame and we cut us off from the rest of the story yeah but we also freeze the frame and we don't even consider the plotline oh yeah that led up to this yeah and so we judge it from a frozen moment in time when you do have the full story yeah and as I listen to you over and over and over again and just really to each word the thing that keeps coming up for

me is this ability to look at the whole Movie of your life yeah the fact that it's so easy to forget isn't it that this is also your parents first time being human beings yeah yeah that they're doing the best that they can with what they had in the cupboard yeah based on what your grandparents had in their cupo hello that doesn't mean that any of it is Justified it just means like this is what they had this is what they had had there is this level of kind of my daughter has this term Open

Arms There's kind of Open Arms kind of people yeah which is the physical version of an open heart yeah and you have this ability to make us want to look at our own movie and story with an open heart and compassion for self how important is that sort of loving understanding I guess is how I would describe what compassion is yeah for sure I would yeah looking at your life through a lens of love not judgment is an incredible Definition of what it means to have compassion and I think it's responsible to do that when

you're going to engage in relationship with other people because if you can't look at your life through the lens of love but you can look at other people's life through the lens of love and feel compassion for them then you cannot even receive the love that you're pouring God into the world or Worse we are harsh with other people because we're harsh with Ourselves because I can't see my life through a lens of love I'm definitely not going to see yours and if I went through this and you went through that baby girl grab them

boot straps and that ain't nothing like now we're in the struggle Olympics like who's got it worse who's got it worse you know what I mean or we're jealous or we're envious and like we just are not the best people to be in relationship with when we Haven't figured out what compassion looks like for our own journey and especially for doing the work of raising children loving Partners like there is an obligation I feel that we have to bring more love into the world and love isn't going to come from Pursuit it's going to come

from us digging a well within ourselves and when we dig that well and we hit that spring of love not just for ourselves it overflows into how we care for other people uh we were at Starbucks the other day and my daughter she's 14 she's not aware of anything except for herself and she slings the door open and she hits the car of the person beside us and he's coming out of Starbucks at the same time and he doesn't he calls her like a dumb he's called her something ignorant crazy so I heard him say

it and I go now that wasn't kind and that response instead of like matching his anger like because I I've Been frustrated before someone's hit my door they weren't paying attention I'm like could you beated that your car and ding your but I think I caught him so off guard by not responding with fire I was just like no that wasn't kind that he felt conviction about how he was showing up in the world but I think that when we are able to really master that it literally changes all the ways that we interact with

people now that doesn't mean I won't cut somebody out though so Like don't catch that was a good moment I was full of love I must have just been worshiping but like if you catch me on a low moment moment you know I'm going to try I'm going to do all the things but what are all the things that you do in order to stay in a grounded place where you are present to That Power and Light inside you I have to rest when I am not resting I am running on fumes and when I'm

running on fumes I don't always make the Best choices I'm tired I'm weary I'm irritated um from the place of rest even if for me it's just like spiritual rest right letting my brain rest gratitude appreciation prayer meditation really reflecting on my life and this is what I do I let the 13-year-old girl who experience shame rejection and loneliness like take in where life is now oh yeah the grown woman version of me grabbing this little girl's hand and saying look girl like look you made it Your son's 21 now and he loves you and

he's an incredible human and oh my gosh this man that you married like look at what how he talks about you and you know and my children and my life and like look what they're saying about you because she heard she heard your nasty she heard your a she heard your like she heard all of those things and if I'm not careful I won't allow her to hear what people are saying now um I won't allow her to experience the a Information of God that exists in her life now and sometimes I'm so busy doing

and checking the boxes and going through the calendar that I don't let her in for like this listening session we're like look at this world I think no matter where you are in your movie The Scene that you're in is still worthy of reaching backward and taking a younger version of yourself and just taking a moment and going we made it This far yeah yeah like look at all this yeah oh my gosh because this thing this adulting thing they keep moving the marker they just keep moving it it's like child I just got here

and now you're telling me that here doesn't exist it's actually there and then I get there and that's not here either you know um but where I am now was a place that I once wanted to be and I think reconciliation is being able to say like look at where we are now like okay you Have all these things you want to do and all these plans all that stuff like okay maybe we get there maybe we don't but right now if we didn't get any further than this man if I did not get any

further than this it feels greedy for me when people are like what are you going to do next what's next what's next what are you going to do that feels like greed because I am in the Overflow right now if I never write another book if this is the last podcast I record and I Disappear from people's brains and Minds what God has done in my life up until this point was not something I could have ever asked for I didn't even know this was possible I did not know that God saw this for me

oh can I tell you a story you can you can I am in a trance you can tell me whatever the heck you want to tell me it just gives me chills I love it um but when I first got pregnant yeah someone very close to me looked at me and said I always knew to Expect something like this from you and that made me question so much now I'm 13 with a 13-year-old mind and it just made me feel like there's really something wrong with you the church stuff didn't make sense and now someone's

saying they knew to expect this from you and I ate that for breakfast like for 10 years like there's something wrong with you the dirty the nasty the all of that like I just ate that I believed it and When my life started changing think I probably did experience impostor syndrome which it was weird cuz I told people who I was but they were still there and so now I'm just questioning myself and I was at church and I was just kind of like praying and worshiping and I was about to go on tour and

you know Ma I just be doing stuff I'm just like let's see what'll happen if we do a tour and then the tour sells out I'm like oh Lord They I'm usually prepared for things to fail not for things to succeed I'm like oh they coming the tour and I'm praying and I really just felt like the presence of God say I always knew to expect something like this from you and sometimes I'm standing in moments and I start to feel doubt and I start to feel worry and I start to wonder if I have

what it takes to stand up in the moment and I feel God say I always knew to expect something like This from you and trusting what God knows what God knew what God saw even when I didn't see it myself there's nothing else could be added to this and I will not allow other people's idea of who I could be to rob me of the Assurance I have received from what God's always known about me like I can't let you keep moving the marker cuz I already know like I won already I won how would

you frame the Way that you're talking about your relationship with God okay to a person that's listening that either has lost their faith or doesn't believe in God like how do they kind of tap into what you're saying if they're not in a place where they have the same level of faith that you do for me I will say that I believe in the intentionality of our existence like the whole world has been created with this intention the way that Everything is working together the solar system the mosquitoes like everything is playing a part like

I hate mosquitoes but for some reason they do serve this atmosphere I just don't believe that it got to humanity and there was no intention for Humanity and so that belief under G the way that I show up in the world that I am just as essential as the sun for my time here I am just as essential as the ocean for my time here I believe that and so from that space of Intentionality I am always seeking out how do I make sure that I am in an optimal state to be sensitive to the

role that I can play in this moment what I love about what you just said yes is that you are raising the stakes on yourself yeah for why you are here yeah and so many of us are looking around for somebody else to go okay I pick you okay you're now the one okay I'm going to give you permission and when you look at yourself as being here for a reason and The reason is simply to spread light simply to make the people around you your community your yourself feel better yeah to do good like

that in and of itself gives your life meaning and then when you add into it okay so let me work with the ingredients that I got let me do something with this that's why I said to make sure I'm in my optimal state which means I've got to make sure that I am as well as aware as Whole as reconciled as possible in order for me to be most effective that's a concept reconciliation like in the accting like I got to go back to the books hold on you didn't got on my nerves today let

me I must need a nap I need to go I think rest is something I need like I become so I hate myself when I'm tired she's not a good girl she's not I want to throw in the cabinet obiously she needs a nap she need like and not just Like I need to go to sleep like I need you all to stop asking me for stuff yes like I I can always tell when I'm OV exerted when like my family my community my team are asking me for things that I set a precedent for

and I am annoyed why would did they call you and tell you to come today to give me this talk no let me tell you when my 8-year-old asked me what for dinner I'm like feed yourself like when are you Going to grow up when are you going to why are you asking me for dinner what do I look like the shefer I'm like you need a nap because now you set this President and you don't want to live up to it anymore and so maybe you do need to change the the president but you

probably don't want to communicate it that way so you need to take a minute recollect regroup figure out what do you need what is still true for you right now what is no longer true and who needs To be aware of this so that they can make space for who you are now you know what I'm going to do when we're done talking what I am going to ask the team to take that particular segment okay and text it to me so that I can listen to it on repeat until I have taken my nap

and I can just change the precedent and stop being like angry about being overworked because you're right is everywhere I think what you just said is genius because Especially as women yeah sign me up sign me up I'll do I'll do it no I got it myself okay no problem no problem and then the thing that you said about your eight-year-old yeah like I'm lit like who the hell do you think you think I'm a bank who do you think I am and then all of a sudden you're like oh wait a minute they think

you are who you said you are think you are who you used to be like they have a reason to expect this from you and maybe maybe they can still Expect it maybe you can take a nap and they can still expect it but maybe you have to change the expectation and this I feel is why we end up robbed of power in our world is that we set a precedent we set an expectation whether it's from our people pleasing or whether it's from something that was authentic for us years ago and now I can

no longer live up to that standard and so I feel like I'm being held hostage in my life yes and I think you know that this is true In any moment where you start resenting for sure people that you care about yeah or something that you used to love Yeah and this framework is so helpful because I always say it's like okay the process is broken or this has happened but I realize that there are ways in which I've behaved in the past that just don't work they just don't work and I was laughing to

myself when you were kind of talking about how they keep moving the the mark for adulthood mhm and I I'm Thinking about the fact that our youngest of three just graduated from high school and everyone's like oh how do you feel about being in Heep eser I'm like you mean the birds leaving the nest as as far as I'm aware they haven't like they fly back they call more the problems are just more expensive the problems are more expensive like it's nobody's leaving anyway just yes but when I was growing up it's like oh my

gosh you turned 18 And now you know what I mean 18 18 18 honey we hit 18 and it's just not it's not giving what it was supposed to give yeah well we got to change the precedent yeah we do in terms of how we're going to be in the next chapter oh I got so much out of that thank you my pleasure thank you you know you talked about how you just started writing about what was in your cupboard and sharing everything and then all of a sudden you're like you know Maybe I'll just

try going on a little tours talking to some of the people that I next thing you know you're writing a book yeah and I read that when this all started happening you had to dare to believe in yourself yeah why is it a [Music] dare well when you have spent more time doubting yourself than believing in yourself it's not an easy transition and I I I cringe when I see People are like just take the leap take the jump It's hard it is really really hard because I've only known one way of being one n

one way of seeing myself and now you're telling me like I'm this big bad bold person and I just need to step into it and run with it and like I can't do it it is a dare it is not something that comes easily but it is something that gradually picks up momentum and so I try to challenge people like one like let's start let's create this Vision Like who is this person who you believe is within your reach to become you open the cupboard you know what you're working with who is it that you

believe you can become from here and how do we begin to gradually introduce that person to your life it is a dare but you don't have to go from where you are right now to that person overnight it is an introduction um for those who you're in Intimate relationship with it's the ability to say you know what that Precedent that I set the way that I have been showing up it doesn't necessarily felt honest anymore and I want you to know the most honest version of myself and maybe things will change a little bit you

know I'm married I I don't want to write a book that empowers someone to be like you know what I'm going to change and whether they can get with it or not when it's someone who exactly right you know what I mean like that's you might want to keep that person Around maybe they haven't done anything to you but you still want to be authentic you get to introduce who you are to that person like actually I kind of want to go back to school or I want to start a business or I kind of

think I might be an artist and so I bought a few things and I appreciate bringing you along on this journey with me it is an introduction and then you look up and you realize wow I have transformed but transformation is a process and so I Would say to take a little dare a baby dare recognizing that with each little dare we look up and we have been transformed in the work that you're doing have you noticed that there's a particular dare or a particular change you know what I mean like even if it's just

getting up earlier and creating some ritual to start your day or if it's moving your body or if it's time for yourself or like is there one thing that you could offer based on all Of the work that you've done that you see this really does help start the ball rolling toward the light I think the one thing that we can do is to speak who we are seeking to become in our world and atmosphere to give it language when we give it language whether it's to ourselves but I think especially to other people that

we begin to stretch our environment out to make room for who we're going to become so if I can give you a practical example Everyone who knows me knows like I'm introverted I like to be at home I love to be at home it is my favorite thing to do I want to see your home now I'm like this might be I love it what you really want to see in my blankets and pillow CU that's where I do my best work cuz we're going to nap together I got um so when I started speaking

and touring and stuff someone sent me an invitation to do something globally and someone turned it down on my behalf They're like she's never going to do what she likes to be at home and I had to own this fact that like yes I do like being at home but I am really intrigued by exploring what God's doing in my life and I do not want to deflect opportunities because I have allowed people to believe something about me that is no longer true and so we laughed about that like oh I'm so glad you turned

down yeah you know I love being at home I circled back to that person I'm like actually I just want you to know that it would actually be a dream to travel the world and to be able to do what I do with other people and so if something like that comes up again I just want you to know that I'm open for it I think that we have to create openings for who we are becoming and sometimes that's with our language sometimes that's with us having communication with other people but I think the most

powerful thing you can do Is to back it up to start putting a down payment on who you are becoming by using your words using your language to create space for that person to be rooted in your life it makes so much sense it's again another tactical example of what it means to spread the light yeah because you're now giving yourself not only permission yeah but you're giving voice to the scenes in the movie yeah that you are now directing yeah that are going to Come yeah let it live outside of you let it live

outside of you I love that because we we we oh my God oh my God let it live outside of you if you let me talk I'll get it I'll get go oh my God yes let it live out because okay you listen to the podcast you read the books and it's all living inside of you you got the tools you got the you got the inspiration you've got to let this live outside of you part of the reason that you have to let it live outside of you Is that when it lives outside of

you it empties you out and makes room for more but also it creates space outside of you for who you are becoming that's it let it live outside of you my God I have to make sure that you got that and I am going to break this down so that you understand the importance of this because this is everything all of that stuff that you stuffed down inside you waiting for someday waiting for permission waiting to feel ready waiting To get rid of the shame waiting for inspiration waiting for motivation you just heard Sarah tell

you you have to open your mouth and let it live outside of you and when you do that oh my God you create space inside of you for new amazing things to flow in and you also create expansion in space for that thing that you want and who you're becoming to take up space yes you are a [Music] Genius wow yeah it's so true yeah you know I hadn't thought about it in the context of space because it is so painful to live your life with so many hopes and dreams for yourself yeah and to

know that there is a bigger possibility for your life and when you trap it inside of you yeah like it just I know how how awful that feels and it is so beautiful to think that just starting to say it out Loud yeah daring to believe yeah that little Act of Bravery opens up the space inside and creates expansion and room for you to grow into that yeah and it I mean it lets you exhale it just because you drown trying to keep all of that inside of you it's hard to breathe it's hard to

believe it's hard to show up in your world but when you let it live outside of you you get to Exhale that and I just want people to understand that not n times out of 10 right it's Not Universal but nine times out of 10 there is more flexibility in your environment than you are aware of part of the reason why we can't let it live outside of us is that we think it's going to break our circles it's going to break our relationship going to break I got to keep it all inside of me

I've had some people that I've lost along the way but for the most part people were excited to go on this journey with me okay you going back to School okay I'm excited for you okay what are you going to study okay well I'm going to be praying for you or let me know if you want me to quiz you you know like oh I need a break okay what can I do to help you with the kids you know what I mean I'm stepping into something most people have more flexibility than we give them

credit for but because we let things live inside of us we never get to experience the richness of the relationships that are Connected to us as well you know I just um had this visual I don't know why of you know you know when you go to a concert and you're like got the stand floor seats like you know kind of flood into the standing room only kind of they can be the cheaper tickets right how the crowd's there and you think you're in your spot but you can always make a little room get a

little further people are a little bit more Flex there's a little bit more space you Think all the space is taken it is not true it's not taken and they move and they say excuse me you're like oh my gosh I didn't think that there was any room here right yeah right and there is there always is yeah you also talk about this idea of versions of you can you tell us a little bit about that I don't want to say my husband's in the room otherwise I still it but he's here so I got

to tell you that he talks about this unfolding that happens in our lives and Our identity and I think it's a very similar analogy to this versions of you and I think we have to recognize that just like there's that version of yourself in the past that did something that makes you cringe like you're no longer that person person like the reason why you feel the way that you feel about what you went through in your past is because based off of what you know now you would have made a different choice and so that's

one version of you And now you're in this version of you but also there are other versions of you waiting to be unfolded and you just could have never told me when I was writing that blog that I would also be good at communicating like I don't consider myself a good public speaker still I think I have a gift now but it's not like foring it I do I think I have a gift but it's not like I don't feel it's natural or organic to me to just Gravitate to speaking but it's obviously in me

so there are versions of you waiting to be revealed to you introduced to you and released into the world and you just have to dare to not get caught up in an old version or this present version and recognize that the unfolding of that is not like this deep hard work it is owning fully where you are now letting those things that are inside of you live outside of you so that more expression can come to you and I just Look at my life and I feel like I've lived a thousand lives in you know

my 35 years because I've just had all of these different versions and there's a thousand more coming I can't wait to meet her but first we need a nap yes we must rest first that's how the unfolding happens you know I think when you hear the word power right yeah you tend to think of something that's unbreakable or in charge what does power mean to you power is Authenticity resiliency humility combined it is a combination if there were like a nutritional fact that breaks down what power is it is 100% authenticity 100% resiliency and 100

100% humility and I think many times we think power is just about that resiliency side and I get back up and I don't get knocked down and that's what makes me Powerful but humility is owning what we do wrong it's learning our lessons it's taking ownership of the way that our resiliency can have negative impacts on our friendships and family authenticity is recognizing that sometimes I am the beast that's on stage and I'm like tearing things up and then there are other moments where I literally do need to go home I need to be nurtured

I need to be cared for we're a blended family with six kids I do a lot of nurturing And that is authentic to me and then there are other moments where authenticity is I need someone to take care of me and I have to use my words to be the strong friend this cocktail of authenticity humility and resiliency is a flow of power power is not a destination it is a flow in which all three of those things have come together for the Confluence of who you are and that Confluence will take you anywhere it

works anywhere you place It I just got this image because you know when you see the word power or you think about it you tend to think about Authority right but the way you described it I actually started to think about it as energy yeahh that it is all these things flowing through you yes so it's what's fueling yeah the way that you show up yeah so the book is called power moves and many times people hear first of all it's power moves ignite your confidence and become a Force There's not a more intimidating title

anywhere right and now let's check it nap right and then go to bed and I think my greatest Like You Know lesson in sharing the message of the book is like power is not a doing it is a being and power moves is not like how do I make a power moves it is a realization that power is fluid that power moves and from that place of flowing in power from that place of being powerful and allowing power to flow through you Sure you do some you do some things but what's most important is the

being the powerful being that you are I freaking love that I love thinking about how you can no matter where you are in your life begin to allow this power to move through you yeah since you have confidence as a subtitle in the book what what what does confidence mean to you and how does somebody who does not feel confident tap into it Esther Perell has the definition Of confidence that I love the most I'm going to paraphrase it because I can never do her words justice but basically it's like having knowledge of both your

gifts and strengths and also your flaws and not being moved in either direction confidence is the intentional owning of your existence and identity and the acceptance of it the um contentment of all of who you are and not allowing it to be easily moved or swayed by success nor failure and having The courage to be okay with that like to to not just okay like I settled for okay but like to really Embrace that and I think a lot of times confidence comes down to okay well I need a haircut or I need you know

what does the makeup look like I need like I I was preaching one time my wig started slipping I took my wig off um which is worthy of doing a whole another podcast about but people were like oh my gosh how did you do that I'm like I mean the hair is nice but It's not who I am like it doesn't Define me I don't wish that it happened but I'm not going to be afraid to be up here with a wig cap on cuz like most people know this is in my hair anyway it's

long one day it's short the next week like I am so okay with who I am that I can step into any moment no matter how you know humiliating it may feel on the surface and say you know what this is my truth and I got to step into it confidence is not about how I look confidence is about Who I am on the inside and being able to hold on to that amazing and what I got as you were telling the wig story yeah is that power was moving through you yeah so you took

the authenticity the resilience and the humility yeah and you just let that flow through you for sure first of all I had so what happened oh c okay listen I got to know now CH listen okay I'll tell you my most embarrassing story about a stage yeah and then you tell me Yours well I've got two kind of so first of all we're going to have a lesson wigs right okay so not my hair right so not it's not attached to anything right and so when it's on like this it's fine right but when you

start to doing ponytails there's a certain level of anchoring that you want to have you want to sew it into some braids you want to glue it down real good and she had sewed it on but she didn't sew deep enough into the braids it was just sewed onto The wig cap so the weight of the ponytails hold the wig cap oh and girl you know I don't sit through an hour and a half of hair and makeup for my wig to come off so you know I'm sitting there and someone's like you know I

this is black church right so we're talking to one another they're clapping like you know I've gone to some spaces it's pretty quiet people are just receiving you know that we're having a Conversation it's not uncommon for people be like waving their hands and stuff in the air but then I saw this one she was like pulling she was like pulling trying to sign to you I was like I've never seen seen that one before but get it girl and then I went to the other side and someone else was like I was like is

my wig cuz I'm sweating I'm hot you know and the glue and the wig and so it starts sweating and I said listen I knew I did math real fast I'm like the weight of this ponytail like I could yank it but it's going to fall back again because it's not secure to anything and so I was in the middle of my message I'm not going to stop preaching to go run off stage cuz my wig is falling off and so I took it off and then I'm sitting there with a wig cap and I

was like this is actually happening on Any Given Sunday there's like 50,000 people streaming online and My father wasn't there my husband was out of town and now I'm sitting on stage at this traditional Church where I was pregnant as a teenager now I'm like this grownup who's like overcome with a wig cap on I take the wig off I throw it to my sister and I go back to preaching and I really was just prepared to be like the laughing stock of the internet people got some jokes but for the most part women were

like I felt so much liberation when you Did that it felt like you can just show up in any given moment with the truth of who you are and it'll be okay like I felt confident I felt like I don't know it helped a lot of people like I spent weeks studying for this message and me taking my wig off was like the most powerful moment of the whole sermon because it gave people permission to be authentic to whatever that authenticity look like and staying flat footed in it so yeah I took it off well

the message Is always bigger than the mess always and it taught me a valuable lesson so on the back end we had just recently relocated to Dallas my husband and I we were living in Los Angeles and while we were in La my husband has this incredible Community it's vibrant it's it's the kind of place where a girl who got pregnant 13 had her baby at 14 could go and be like girl please we got you we love you show us what you know about God and that's where I got a lot of my Confidence

as a speaker and as someone who preaches and so when we went back to Dallas to kind of help my father and Leadership I'm like I don't know if who I was there works here right so now I'm questioning does power move does that same power that exists here will it flow into where I am now and so internally I'm dealing with these insecurities this uncertainty that Sunday when I took my wig off it really was a message for me from God that like the most authentic Version of who you are has been anointed to

help from from Dallas from this church from this platform if you will just be who you are I will take care of the rest and this moment that would have been something that most people laugh at became this thing that helped so many people feel comfortable in their own skin to own who they were I was I looked at there was this lady she had thrown her away off and it was on stage I'm like now mine was slipping that's why I Took mine out why is yours on altar but she like solid it tired

of pretending tired of pretending to have it all together it's like this moment where people like this is who I am accept it and so it really was a blessing in disguise it really was it was a direct message to you for sure for sure there are no accidents he can text me next time yeah well and you know on the theme of power yeah H why would you even question Of course power moves because if you try to block a power surge it will blow everything up in its wake okay me and you we

could talk for a long time uh because when we are doing something new no matter how much we have mastered in the past there is an opportunity for insecurity doubt and failure to convince us that we are not equipped to step into something new and I wrote this book coming off the heels of that moment because if we can really Grasp this concept that power is fluid then the power that we experienc in whatever stage of our life that has passed it flows into where we are now it may have a different expression it may

be in a different city you may have been divorced and now you're married again you may have been Hands-On with the kids and now you're learning who you are now that you no longer have children and it can feel you can feel fragile in the process but Power flows and so to be Able to ask ourselves I know what power look like then but what does power look like for me now is one of the greatest questions we can ask ourselves because it honors the fact that there is power in this moment I just have

to figure out how to tap into it and to flow with what power looks like now well I got to tell you something I I I feel I have to tell you this okay I I think you know this and I feel permission to say this to you this bluntly okay because you are a Woman of deep faith mhm who has a direct connection to God but when you talked about getting pregnant at 13 in the middle of the kind of Purity culture I just had this unbelievable sentence in my head I was like well

that was on purpose because that was meant to happen for you to disrupt that culture and for you to be the embodiment of a entirely Different definition of a Godly woman thank you that's yeah I think we needed another definition thank you you had to have thought that before no no well because you continue to do it as as everything unfolds like you continue to open the door for your entire Community to Envision what it means to be a woman in an entirely different way and It's not about one version yeah right it's about the

freedom and the power that flows through you when you just are you that you're not defined by what you do you're not defined by the mistakes that you made you're certainly not defined by whether or not you have your virginity or not that you can literally be who you want to be Beyond gender beyond the wig Beyond any mistakes that you've made and you are the embod meant of that as Somebody that's just meeting you and that has watched your life from afar and is inspired by your work like there's no doubt in my mind

that that is a th% the work that is getting done through your life you're not aware of it but it's very clear in the context of your entire life story and your mission and the work that you have just been called to put out into the world that that is actually what's happening it makes so much make sense to me it does It makes so much make sense to me cuz I just there is no other explanation like when you think about how much Faith you have and you talk about being the embodiment of something

and the intentionality of something like let's just stay with the word intentionality yeah like what if you did believe because I know you and I both believe this that even those things that were so cringy in the moment we know when we get To the end of the movie and we look back at the entire thing that happened everything had an order to it wow and I think one of the most incredible skills in life that you have that I know that I have that I am trying to help other people have is the ability

to both stand in this moment in this Frame of your movie and look back yeah and say oh oh of course all of those things LED here yeah and of course I would never be here holding the hand of the little me Saying take this all in look at how far we've come without that thing that I once hated yeah and now I have created room to love and be compassionate for but I can also stand in this Frame and look ahead yeah and know that this is leading somewhere extraord ordinary and that is what

I felt compelled to tell you I think the idea of we needed another version of what it means to be a woman Of God in a culture where there's literally one road One path and for like the undeniable Grace like there's just no reason for the swell of influence like there's no reason and I think I've like actually there is a reason well there is yeah I know that's what I'm saying like I think I have the intentionality of God to in the midst of while one thing is rampant To be like you know what

I am going to allow this to happen it's not going to make sense to anyone but in 20 years it's going to make sense because I'm going to use all of these things to create this version of Sarah that is relatable and touchable for a generation that's been lost and you can't actually be relatable and Untouchable without that yeah and the other piece of this that really struck me is the word undeniable and when you said there's Only one path that's actually not true we've just put the infinite other paths in a cover yeah yeah

yeah for sure and that is why I love doing what I do and I love what woman evolve is because there are all of these women with all of these different paths that have been stuffed in cup and now they're beginning to believe that like maybe there's another path like maybe there's not just one path maybe based off of where I come From in Chicago and South Africa like maybe we all have a unique path and I don't have to try and fit myself into this one way of being or disqualify myself because I don't

in this like that is what makes woman evolved what it is and you know I I see that because you just also said there's just no other explanation and I often think about that in my own story yeah facing bankruptcy struggling with anxiety I have some dumb idea when I am drunk on Bourbon to Launch myself out of bed like a rocket so I can move fast enough to beat the anxiety yeah and the series of unexplainable events and coincidences and there's no other explanation than this divine order yeah and so I am so proud

of myself for saying it to you and actually uh letting it live outside of me so that it could create space for you if the person listening yeah takes Just one thing from the extraordinary amount of wisdom that you have poured into us today and they focus on one action what do you want them to do I would say to open that cabinet open that cabinet and look at every single ingredient of you you and to trust that every ingredient is going to be Used in the full edit of your story and for those of

you who know a little bit about cooking you know that there are some ingredients that we buy thinking that we're going to use them and then it gets dusty cuz we never actually used it um there are probably some things that you have allowed to get Dusty some dreams some gifts some memories that you like um that they have dust on them because it makes it harder for you to See them and I would tell you to dust those ingredients off to put them out on the counter and to start dreaming what are your parting

words secure your wig W and thank you for being with Sarah Jake Roberts and me today uh I wanted to be sure to tell you in case no one else does that I love you and I know Sarah loves you too for sure and we believe in you and um open up the cabinet and go cook up a freaking five-star meal and I'll talk to you in a few days and for you sitting here watching with me on YouTube I just want to say please share this with somebody don't just sit and watch please do

something and take a minute and subscribe to this channel because it's really a way that you can support me in bringing you new videos every single day and I'm sure you're looking for something really inspiring to watch to really move you so I want you to check out this video next