The Ones That Make You Laugh | Friends

I've had a really good time tonight you know I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date me neither I I've had a really good time too you know are you going to eat that bread oh I I just like the smell you make me laugh would you like to move over to the couch [Music] mhm maybe I'll just turn down the lights a little how about all the way okay wow cool poster or should I say gy poster so uh yeah where were we are those your teeth oh you you can see

them huh yes they're insanely white I I did that for you what's the matter with you what's the matter with me you've got a black light It's 1999 oh my God God the pages are stuck together [Laughter] Chandler oh my God she she made half an English trifle and half a shepherd's [Applause] pie yeah this is so good that I'm going to go enjoy it on the balcony so I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert I'm going to call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is from Monica's room I'll

help you dial and I'm going to go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror as I eat it okay now what was that all about is it does it not taste good let me try this no [Laughter] no oh gone so good maybe chanler has some left it tastes like feet I like it are you kidding what's not the like custard good Jam good meat good so a bird just grabbed it and then and then tried to fly away with it and and then just dropped it on the street yes

but if it's any consolation before the bird dropped it he seemed to enjoy it hi hey I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily and I think that's I think that's really cool yeah Rael I think you're handling that really well handling it even handling it there's nothing to handle you know maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasn't for me and Joshua you know they're not going to get married anyway what come on they rushed into this thing so fast it's ridiculous I mean they're

going to be engaged for like what a year and somewhere along the way one of them is going to realize what they've done and they're going to call the whole thing on I'm telling you you're going to be dancing at my wedding before you're dancing at theirs yeah well I don't dance at weddings why not because weddings are a great place to meet women and when I dance I look like [Applause] this hey man hey so what are you guys doing four weeks from today nothing nothing nothing I am free great because Emily and I

are getting married in a month what yep in a month yeah you mean you mean 30 days yeah from now yeah that's great where's Rachel she and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital did you know Chandler kiss Rachel what when when was this 1987 the weekend you guys visited me at school oh my God that's wild yeah but it was like a million years ago so it doesn't matter well it matters to me why because the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time you kissed her that

night too two guys in one night wow I thought she became a sled after she got her nose fixed seriously where did this happen Okay after you told me she was passed out in our room I went in there to make sure she was all right she was lying on my bed all buried in people's coats well I I went to kiss her on the forehead you know but it was so dark I accidentally got her lips I I started to pull away but then I I felt her start to kiss me back it was

only for a second but it was amazing and now now I find out that you kissed her first oh wait what bed did you say she was on mine I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed no she was definitely on my bed why would I kiss a girl and then put put her on your bed well then who was on my bed oh oh oh no no no you were under the pile of coats I was the pile of coat oh my God you are my midnight mystery kisser you were my first kiss

with Rachel you were my first kiss ever what did I marry into we're going to split it you take half and I take half well that's not fair you've already had some well oh then not you know what I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and Meely what do we use to split it okay all right pick a half okay well this side looks bigger M uh there's more crust on this side yeah so maybe if I measure oh for God sake just pick a piece all right

pick that so the smaller piece okay there you go enjoy your half my friend but that is it no sharing no switching and don't come crying to me if you eat your piece too fast oh all right you got to give me some of your piece oh no no no switching no sharing don't come crying to me I may just sit here and have my cake all day just sit here in the hallway and eat [Music] my oh y look there's a piece that doesn't have floor on it stick to your side come on now

all right what are we having took care of everything thanks a lot co-host wait a minute take care of everything there's there's plenty of things for you to do uhhuh like what cups Cups you're giving me cups and ice cups and Ice oh I get to be in charge of Cups and Ice all right fine okay I will be in charge of Cups and Ice wait a minute I can get ice at the restaurant I got it [Music] mine hey check it out um cup hat cup Banner cup Chandelier and the thing that started it

all the cup great job with the cups feves why don't you just go out with her and did you notice the ice look we have it all we have crushed cubed and dry watch a mystical I it no one's eating my tus and finger food because they're all filling up on Fe snow cones there snow cones snow cones you go go thank thank you [Music] my God these pants I'm burning up come on she wants to snuggle now what is she trying to kill me it's like a volcano in here are you hot no okay

let just be me then that was just the pants on the couch um hey do you do you mind if I use your bathroom oh go ahead thanks a hey my favorite part's coming up okay oh my [Music] God hello Joey it's Ross I need some help uh Chandler's not here well you can help me okay listen I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom nice no I I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the the sweat or something or or my legs expanded from the heat I

but I I can't get them back on Joe I can't that is quite a situation uh do you see any like powder what powder yeah yeah I have powder good good okay sprinkle some of that on your legs it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back on yeah hold yeah hold on they're not coming on man um you see any uh oh Vaseline I I see lotion I have lotion will that work yeah sure throw some of that on there hold on Ross you okay they're still they're still not

coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste really uh what color is it what difference does that make well I'm just if the paste matches the pants you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and you won't know do Joey do you have a minute dude what am I uh Rachel's here so good luck man let me know how it works out oh Joey I have such a problem uh well your timing couldn't be better I am putting out fires all over the place today Ross um you've been in

there for a long time I'm starting to get kind of freaked out all right I'm coming out hey can you turn the lights off no let's just leave the lights on oh my God I had a problem all right I took the quiz and it turns out I do put career before men get up what you're in my seat how is this your seat cuz I was sitting there but then you left well it's not like I went to Spain I went to the bathroom you knew I was coming back what's the big deal sit

somewhere else the big deal is I was sitting there last so it's my seat well actually the last place you were sitting was in there so you guys you know what you know what it doesn't matter because you both have to go get dressed before the big vein in my head pops so all right Ross I just have to do one thing really quickly it's not a big deal get up all right fine you know what we'll both sit in the chair fine with me I'm so comfortable me too in fact I think I might

be a little too comfortable all right okay look we have 19 minutes okay Chandler I want you to go and change okay and then when you come back Joey will go change and he'll have vacated the chair okay okay all right fine I'm going when I get back it's chair City and I'm the guy who's sitting in a chair all right you will notice that I am fully dressed I in turn have noticed that you are not so in the words of AA mil get out of my chair deal hole okay what are you doing

well you said I had to give you the chair you didn't see anything about the cushions the cushions are the essence of the chair that's right I'm taking the essence he'll be back there's nobody in the room where's my underwear who whoa whoa whoa come on come on what you took his underwear he took my Essence okay hold on Joey why why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now cuz I'm not wearing any underwear now okay um then why do you have to wear underwear tonight it's a rented tux okay not to go

commando on another man's fatigue well then it looks like somebody's going to have to give somebody back his cushions okay you hide my clothes I'm going to do the exact opposite to you what are you what are you going to show me my clothes hey opposite is opposite he's got nothing okay buddy boy here it is you hide my clothes I'm wearing everything you own oh my God that is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear look at me I'm Chandler could I be wearing any more clothes maybe if I wasn't going commando m

yeah I'll tell you it's hot with all this stuff on I uh I better not do any I don't know lunges I'm going to stop you right there Linda okay does it look like this is my first time huh now I want four twos and I want them all on my back okay wait a minute there's two sets of nozzles which one is it which which which which one is it [ __ ] son of a [Music] [ __ ] dude it's Chandler let me in go away I don't want to see anybody I know

I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me you have to let me in really did you count mississippily you you're not tan no I just had to get a picture of this I'll see you later pass the cheese please my God you can't even look at me can you nope hey it's BBE we can talk to BBE no I'm I'm too depressed to talk I'll give you $1,000 to talk to us hey you guys what do what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing no all right

that's it you guys what happened out there what we took a walk nothing happened I came back with nothing all over me me come on what happened Joey all right no Joey we sore we'd never tell they'll never understand we have to say something we have to get it out it's eating me alive Monica got stung by a jellyfish all right all right I got stung stung bad I couldn't stand I I couldn't walk we were 2 miles from the house we scared and alone we didn't think we could make it I was in too

much pain and I was tired from digging the huge hole [Applause] and then Joey remembered something I'd seen this thing on the Discovery Channel wait a minute I saw that on the Discovery Channel yeah about jellyfish and how if you e you peed on yourself e you can't say that you don't know I I thought I was going to pass out from the pain anyway I I tried but I I couldn't been that way [Applause] so that's right I stepped up she's my friend and she needed help if I had to I'd pee on any

one of you only uh I couldn't I got the stage fright I wanted to help but there was just too much pressure so so I uh I turned to chanler Joy kept screaming at me do it now do it do it do it now sometimes late at night I can still hear this screaming That's cuz sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out time my shoe so you go ahead I'll catch up okay okay come on let's not running let's [Music] go you guys I'm telling you when she runs she looks

like a cross between Kermit the Frog and the $6 billion man Monica had such a crush on him that she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed oh I used to do that too did you also have his album It's Not Easy Being Green Oh So Pho Run's weird huh yeah yeah you know what and and I know she's going to want to run again I just don't I don't know how to get out of it I mean I live with her why don't you just be straight with her tell

her the truth you're right you're right I should just tell her the truth hey hey hey F Monica trip me I don't think I can ever run again ever why why would you do that I don't know Rachel I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles ankle we'll see [Music] hi oh yeah uh-huh it's me I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out you lied so you could run by yourself no no Phoebe no I was no you know what I was I was actually just checking to see if I could run

and I can please Rachel I am not an idiot no wait baby hey baby can I talk to you for a second sure okay um I Phoebe look I just wanted to say that I'm sorry okay I handled the situation horribly and and I should not have lied to you so what should you have done well I I should have told you the truth uhhuh which is well you know the reason that I didn't want to go running with you is because um well you know the way that you run is just a little so

well it's embarrassing people were looking at us like we were crazy why do you care because they're people but people that you don't know and will never see again yes but still they are people with eyes well I didn't get embarrassed running next to miss but oh okay no no I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you yeah okay you're uptight what I I am not up to listen I'm not uptight man that's okay Rachel I'm not judging you that's just who you are me I'm more free you know I run

like I did when I was a kid because that's the only way it's fun you know I mean didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs were going to fall off you know like when you were like running toward the swings or running away from Satan the neighbor's [Music] dog I'm so sorry you were right this feels great see and you don't care if people are staring it's just for a second cuz then you're gone God I mean it's amazing I feel so free and So Graceful hey look out for the horse we

should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at the plaza oh okay but I I I can't stay too long I got to get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I got to look good supposed to be playing a 19-year-old what so when you said get up early did you mean 1986 you guys don't think I look 19 oh 19 wait thought you said 90 okay everybody let's go let's go okay so sup dude take whatever you want just please don't hurt me so you playing little PlayStation huh that's whack PlayStation

is whack Su with the whack PlayStation s h come on am I 19 or what yes on a scale from 1 to 10 10 being the dumbest a person can look you are definitely 19 come on man really how old young you're a Manchild okay now go get changed because everybody's ready and please oh please keep my underwear oh thanks now I can pass for 19 right yes you can pass for 19 really yes seriously seriously seriously no okay you can play your own age which is 31 I'm 30 Joey you are not you're 31

oh crap time we're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Time Square it gets bigger and go kids and then the peacock bit me please kiss me at midnight you seen Sandy o uh I don't know how to tell you this but uh she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max that scientist geek oh look at that I didn't know how to tell you everybody the ball is ding what the ball is droing it'll be midnight and the moment of joy is upon us looks like that no date pack thing worked out everybody

looks so happy I hate that not everybody's happy hey Bobby Happy New Year you know I uh just thought I'd throw this out here I'm no math whz but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here M oh I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight I can't kiss anyone so I'm kissing everyone no no no you can't kiss Ross that's your brother oh yeah perfect perfect so now everybody's going to kiss but me all right somebody kiss me somebody kiss me it's midnight somebody kiss kiss me it's midnight it's [Music] [Applause]

one beeps you know what I'm thinking oh okay how it's been so long since you've had sex you're wondering if they've changed it no although now that's what I'm thinking all right so what were you thinking well I was thinking that you gave the guy Such Great Haircuts I thought maybe you'd like to do mine oh no why not because I'm just I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak no you're not I know I'm not but you are and I was trying to spare your feelings you know it's funny last time Paula was here

my hair was so much shorter and cuter all right okay but but you have to promise that you will not be all like controlly and bossy and all you know Monica about it I promise all right let's see now some of you are going to get cut and some of you aren't but I promise none of you will feel a thing [Music] all right that's it I Quit what I didn't say anything yeah but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person okay this is the face of a person who you know

doesn't trust a person I'm sorry sorry phoe it's just well just a little shorter than what we had discussed would you relax I know what I am doing this is how he wears it how who wears it Dei Mo Demi Moore is not a he well he was a he in Arthur and in 10 that's Dudley more I said I wanted it like demim more oh oh oh my god oh oh my God oh my God I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry which one is demor she's the actress there was in disclosure and decent proposal

ghost oh oh she's got Gorgeous Hair how is she it's too soon to tell she's resting which is a good sign how's the hair I'm not going to lie to you Ross it doesn't look good I put a clip on one side which seems to have stopped the curling well can we see you your hair looks too good I think it would upset her Ross why don't you come on in hi [Music] hi so which one of your lucky boys is Chandler uh that that's me that's me Joey trani big fan so is that a

bedroom yeah yeah right over there all right whenever you're ready that was weird why would you go in the bedroom I'm waiting so she's a yep that's one naked hooker so tonight tonight at a big bachelor party yeah hey thanks for giving me that girl's number no problem say who's the party for for my husband you hired your husband a hooker she's a stripper no she's a hooker is is that what they call strippers sometimes when they're hookers oh my god do I I can't believe you did this now you absolutely sure she's a hooker

it's either that or she's just the best most expensive date I ever had all right all right maybe maybe you should just ask her to leave why me hey it's your bachelor party which is why you should do it I don't want to you do it you do it you do it all right rock paper scissor if who has to tell the [ __ ] to leave what I missed this I don't think we've actually done this before no no no no I I miss hanging out with you well we we still hang out yeah

not like we used to remember you and me used to be Inseparable you know now it's like things are different well you know things are different I'm I'm married now yeah sure and hey don't get me wrong I am so happy for you guys but I just I miss hanging out just just us you know yeah I miss that too okay I'll tell you what for now on we'll make time to hang out with each other you got it come here oh god listen I am this close to robbing you guys she's a hooker she's

a hooker she's a hi we spoke on the phone what nothing nothing just Your Overcoat sounds remarkably like Brent musberger check it out Giants Cowboys you're watching a football game at a funeral no oh it's the pregame I'm going to watch it at the reception you are a frightening frightening man oh no my new poo shoes oh I hope they're not ruined okay God what a great day what weatherwise I know you the air the the trees even though Nana's gone there's there's something almost uh I don't know almost like I'm fine I'm fine just

just having my worst fear realized but and done oh my God I didn't feel the thing hey are you still looking for a job cuz you could tweeze circles around that sadistic [ __ ] at the salon thanks you want to see what it looks like yeah yeah hey they totally match they look great they look great are you doing yeah yeah I think it looks pretty good I was a little bit worried that I was uh uncovering a birth mark right about there but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate well

hey Chandler thank you so much no problem listen uh that a pretty girly hour we just spent we should probably do something manly make up for it yeah gr my eyelash yeah your copy of the bill we hope you enjoyed your stay oh we did and you still have all your lamps no I didn't factor in the room TX oh dude don't worry about it uh I found an unattended Maids C we're way ahead of the game oh my God what there's there's something new in the bowl look we have enough just walk away no

but I I want I want the pine cones there's a forest right outside it's not the same okay go quick thank you for a delightful stay my m full candy so I just talked to one of the duel writers today and what is duel Days of Our Lives anyway you're not going to believe it my character is coming out of his coma and not only that I'm getting a new brain so great things are happening at work and in your personal life wait what do you mean you're getting a new brain oh well they're killing

off one of the characters on the show and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body what a brain transplant it's ridiculous well I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in 3 and a half months it's winter there are fewer people on the street who are they filling off uh Cecilia Monroe she plays Jessica lockart no no she is so good at throwing drinks in people's faces I mean I don't think I've ever seen her finish a beverage and the way she's slaps people all the time wouldn't you love to

do that just once I'll do it and she's been on the show forever it's going to be really hard to fill her shoes yeah yeah help me out here when you when you come out of the brain [Music] transplant you are going to be her yes but in Drake R's body why is this so hard for you to get I thought you were a scientist you see Monica U actually I think she went to the salon oh yeah oh she went to the salon all right check it [Applause] out whose day just got better JK

hey ah what do you think I think I think I can see your scalp don't you just love it yeah yeah you got shellfish in your head it's size something you go girlfriend you never said that in your life have you not once I found and listen to this what do you know it's a treat for the eyes and the ears oh I can't wait for everyone at work to see these ow you go back to work tomorrow night right yeah so if you want people to see them then by definition you're not having them

taken out say at the break of dawn well if I had them taken out then I wouldn't be able to do this you like that right [Music] what are you singing It's Valero from tin it's Ride of the Valkyries from Apocalypse Now see here's the thing the cornrows are really a solution to your frizzy hair problem and now that we're home you don't have that problem anymore so if you think about it I hate them what you said you like them did I let's refresh I believe what I said was that I could see your

scalp fine say they don't like them everybody else does again let's Journey back as I recall what Rachel said was she had never noticed the shape of your skull before and Joey well Joey didn't realize it was anything different you know what I don't care I like it like this and and I'm going to keep it you're just jealous because your hair can't do this ow get yourself in the tooth and the eye honey you've been in there for a long time is everything okay not really I have a problem really what happened well I

was dancing around and singing No Woman No Cry and I got stuck you can't move at all oh I can move if I untangle you will you please get rid of the cornrows I guess so some of these look a little afraid yeah I I tried to gnaw myself free got to pick a pocket or two boys you've got to pick a pocket for [Music] lovely just lovely really thanks listen Joey we definitely want to see you for the call back on Saturday excellent I'll be there okay and listen don't forget to bring your jazz

shoes for the dance audition my uh my agent said that it wasn't a dancing part oh Joey all the rolls got to dance a little but believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake 3 years of modern dance with twiler Tharp 5 years with the American Ballet Theater hey everybody lies on their resume okay I wasn't one of the zoom kids either well can you like dance at all yeah I can dance you know oh no no no no what what is that sure it looks stupid now there's no music [Music]

playing uh Joey Joey triani listen Joey I got a problem I just got a call from my dance Captain he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island so does that mean the audition's off listen Joey seeing as you've got the most experience I want you to take these dances and teach him the combination what oh Joey come on it's easy you know it's hand hand head head up out big turn here ride step step and jazz hands it says steep step and jazz hands have fun bye all right let's do it

[Applause] no no no what was that I know it's the best I could get out of them well people people people people let's try it again and this time let's everybody watch Joey show him how it's done count it off [Music] M didn't you say that there was um an elevator in here uh yes I did but there isn't okay here we go okay go left left left you know what there's no more left left okay you uh lift it straight up over your head straight up over your head you can do it you can

do it okay you got it good good good yeah you got it right you got it right you got any chance you think the couch looks good there Hey Joe what's up bad news I watched the tape and passed along to my bosses and they weren't interested oh sorry man but uh you watch the tape yeah I I I I liked it but uh my bosses didn't go for it stupid sons of [ __ ] you didn't watch the tape what of course I did look it's one thing not to cast me but to lie

to me I'm not lying to you I watched it well you lied again I watched it keep going Pinocchio I did no you didn't I'm telling you I watched the tape did you watch the tape [Applause] [Music] no can't believe Joey I hate being called a liar but you are a liar what did I just say you still here yes and I have to say I am not just hurt I am insulted when I tell somebody I did something okay hold let me just stop you right there okay first you lied right then you lied

about lying okay then you lied about lying about lying okay so before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying stop lying why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape you want to know why you want to know why well this is going well here's how I know you didn't watch the tape okay if you had seen what was on this tape believe me you would have some comments all right now remember I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan Ichibon Ichibon lipstick for [Music]

men ity Bon lipstick for meno and that's how I know you didn't watch the tape he really is a chameleon [Music]