[Music] self-acceptance is a term that we've all encountered but what does it really mean in practice many of us find this concept really appealing yet also elusive so in this conversation we're going to explore what self-acceptance truly means beyond the buzzwords and the Feelgood quotes and how we can use the practice of tapping to connect to the real power of self acceptance to show us how to lead the way we're speaking to Brad Yates from tap withth brad.com Brad is recognized as one of the world's top teachers in tapping he is the author of the
bestselling children's book the Wizards wish and the co-author of the bestseller Freedom at your fingertips now you might already know Brad from years here at the tapping World Summit but also from YouTube he's had over a thousand tapping videos on there that have had over50 50 million views it's always so wonderful to get to connect with him Brad welcome thanks Jess it's always great to talk to you and this is one of my favorite topics and I just want to start really basic what does self-acceptance really mean when it comes to our lives it's that
level of accepting who we are and for better and for worse and not trying to create a false view of who we are either For Better or For Worse not pretending that we're something better than we are but also not uh thinking less of ourselves it's really being trying to be non-judgmental and just saying this is who I am and uh yeah it's tough because we always start the the traditional EFT phrase I love and accept myself and it get a lot of people stuck and and we want to distinguish between um acceptance is not
necessarily approval so it's not a matter of saying who I am is the best I can possibly be it's saying I I'm accepting where I'm at right now and I choose to find that I'm acceptable because then we have a lot more room to uh to take care of ourselves and make positive differences it's so true and and you mentioned it in traditional EFT and tapping we often start with even though I have this feeling I accept myself why is that something we often do instead of saying even though I have this feeling I push
it away and I remember that I am enough you know like what's the point of even taking a moment to say that you accept yourself when you're struggling yeah because what you resist persists and when we say when we try to insist that things are other than how they are if we don't accept what is here uh right now then we can't deal with it you know we can't we can't clean our house if we say it's spotless and and we ignore where all the dirty dishes are and the things that are spilled across the
carpet so just saying this is where it's at and uh and I'm not going to pretend otherwise and now I'm going to say and that that's why we say that at the beginning of of the uh tapping round because so often we fight it uh either we'll you know may have we just use the that for letter f word I'm fine and that's not accepting what is so so acceptance is saying this is what so now I can I can deal with it it's it's like trying to drive someplace on and you get out your
phone and and ask Siri where how to get you to uh you know the grocery store and if we refuse to accept that we're at home or wherever we happen to be then we can't get directions to where we want to go so saying this this is where it's at and now it it's actually a position of power because we saying I accept where I'm at is a position of power such that I can then make positive I can make those positive changes yeah I remember the very first time I learned tapping those words would
get stuck in my throat like the love and accept myself it was just even that brought so much emotions um that I couldn't at that time even articulate or Define or explain why but you've worked with so many clients why do you think that sometimes that it is difficult for someone to to say that they love and they accept themselves yeah because we have so much programming about why we're unlovable or unacceptable and uh that's why I borrowed you know from Pat kon's choices I so I always start the phrase uh I even though I
have this issue I choose to love and accept myself so it's not saying I don't love and accept myself but it's also not insisting that I do it's like this is what I'm choosing and it kind of creates a little bit of a safety zone a bit of a buffer so it doesn't feel like such a lie because it for a lot of people it feels like a lie you know I'm boy I'm starting this process right out with something that's not true because I don't love and accept myself so I found that just by
throwing in the word I choose it uh it creates that area where it can like okay this is what this is It's aspirational that I love and accept myself and I'm open to the possibility that I might be doing that right now without without getting stuck right there and going no I'm already off track we're going to do some tapping together but first I'm curious with this concept of accepting yourself is this a destination that we arrive to is it a practice do you notice someone having a shi where they begin accept themselves more like
how do we even understand if we're doing it right or what it looks like because it is really elusive like we hear about it but it's just hard to figure out like what is this really yeah and it's I mean it's somewhat intangible it's like we can we can say you know I'll often have people say Okay close your eyes imagine looking in a full length mirror and say I accept myself scale is 0 to 10 how true is that and it's not like okay Ross 8 billion people on the planet we have one standard
of measurement and everyone's going to be able to say oh okay yes we're all exactly the same and I can feel oh that's definitely a 7.35 and uh so we just sort of get a sense of yeah I am feeling more accepting towards myself and there's a there's a greater sense of peace and a a reduction in self-judgment and it's not not a matter of saying okay once I clear all the Judgment then I'm perfect it's just a matter of being able to say okay this is this is where I'm at and and and also
accepting I'm doing the best I can I have been doing the best I could up to this point so it's accepting accepting ourselves now is also accepting the past and going okay so this is I'm not defined by that I'm not limited by that but if I can come to that place of acceptance now I'm in that position of power to make changes so it can be very vague so we just sort of get an idea and and so basically for everyone don't worry about getting it right everyone's like I want to be there how
do I arrive how do I reach my fully accept myself destination I cannot accept myself until I have an acceptable standard of acceptance right right I know for I know for my experience when I went on this journey like I mentioned in the beginning it's like I couldn't even say those words but what helped me understand it or what I the conclusion I came to from my own experience is that I started to become a better friend to myself and I stopped abandoning myself in times of need and I'm going to say that again I
stopped abandoning myself in times of need because when I would struggle I would abandon myself whether that was through um binge eating or unhealth other unhealthy habits or just ignoring it or staying late like staying up late but you know you struggle and you think there is something inherently wrong with me and so we almost just want to push that so far away and now I feel like when I have a struggle I it's like okay to have a struggle I'm like okay let me be a good friend to you like what do you need
what are you scared of how can I help you and suddenly the world doesn't feel or our own emotional Journey doesn't feel so scary because we're not abandoning ourselves brilliant yeah yeah it's that that compassion of looking and saying oh you may be off track what's going on there as a well and I know you've got young kids and I've got older kids now um with our kids it's like when the kids are doing Behavior that's unacceptable we don't decide they're unacceptable and abandon them it's like okay they might need some more help right now
yes and having that even as a parent yeah even as a parent sometimes I have to be like just remember they didn't sleep well last night it was a late night let's be compassionate you know and like obviously we don't abandon ourselves and we can almost see other people in a greater context than we can sometimes see ourselves to be like hey you're struggling because you've had a tough month or a tough year or a tough decade and and it leads to compassion instead of frustration um which leads me to my next question because many
of us we're showing up because we are showing up for ourselves we're taking the time to participate in the tapping World Summit so most of us are into personal development and growth and so you hear this idea of self-acceptance and sometimes it can not sit right with us because we think you know what Brad I know there's more to me I want to do more I want to be more and I feel like if I accept myself then I'm giving up and I'm allowing myself to just suffer or be stuck in these habits what would
you say to someone who um is having that struggle or just that thought I would say poppycock um but believe that's a scientific term um no it's and and that's a belief that we have learned we we have been told if you don't if you're not upset with how things are you're never going to improve things and I I just think that's nonsense so many great achievements throughout history didn't like the R Brothers didn't create the airplane based on a belief of on on hating being on the ground it's like ah being on the on
the ground is so unacceptable you got to get in the air so the same with this idea that we have to be motivated by misery and we have to find um and if if we say well I'm I'm acceptable as I am then I'll have no interest in improving because this just not true because especially the more accept myself the more self- Lov I can feel and the more I love myself the better I'm going to want things for myself so why why would I settle when I when I start to feel really good about
myself I like I want things to be better this is you know I can I can and I can accept myself where I'm at right now same going back to using the GPS in your car it's not a matter of H in order to get to the grocery store I have to find where I am unacceptable it's like no that it's not required at all Ian I am where I am I accept this and I desire to be someplace else for whatever reason yeah I'm going to paraphrase but Louise Haye has this incredible quote which
is You' tried beating yourself up and hating yourself and it hasn't gotten you far try loving and accepting yourself and see what happens and so that's the invitation for everyone here if you've been criticizing yourself if you've been beating yourself up notice how far that's gotten you be open to the idea that loving and accepting can take you to where you want to be like you said Brad in that in in the beginning we've often been taught that you know this is something that we learn and I want to know why can tapping help because
sometimes we just hear this logically and someone says you should not believe that Society tells you that but you shouldn't believe it and we tell ourselves I should not believe this and then we believe it or we are running these patterns that show that we believe it why can tapping on this idea that I have to be hard on ourselves and which we're going to do the tapping yes sir but why is it why is that more powerful than just telling ourselves to stop thinking something because we have uh energetic patterns when we say things
we have what feels familiar is most comfortable even if it's a terrible thing even if we're saying I'm a piece of crap but if I've been saying that long enough and other people have said it to me then it it feels easy it's it's the path of least resistance emotionally and you throw in a new idea and now there's resistance so if I if I try to say no I'm I'm great or I'm I'm acceptable I'm I'm good at this then something feels wrong we have a stress response like oo I need to get away
from that so I'm going to go back to whatever the old thing is so the tapping is calming down that stress response so we can start to say you know what I'm actually okay oh that actually feels comfortable okay I can start to build on so that's the main thing that we're doing with tapping from from my perspective is calming down the resistance to making positive changes in our behavior in our beliefs and how we talk about ourselves so let's have an experience I would love to do some tapping um as if I have this
belief which many people do if I'm not hard on myself if I don't criticize myself things won't get better yeah so what I'd like to everyone to do is go ahead and close your eyes take a deep breath in and hold it and let it go and now just breathing comfortably with your eyes closed go ahead and allow yourself to be present right here right now as present as possible so as to receive maximum benefit from this process and uh like I was saying earlier go ahead and imagine a full- length mirror and see yourself
in the mirror and say say I accept myself or you might say I find myself acceptable and just notice what that feels like following your breath through your body just noticing what you feel physically and what you feel emotionally and notice how true it feels that you accept yourself and do not judge yourself harshly if the number is lower than you'd like it to be just accept where you're at right now as much as POS possible and notice what thoughts beliefs or memories might come up so it may be I need to not accept myself
in order to motivate myself and just check and see what other beliefs might be there so even even noticing how your body responds fill in the end of the sentence I can't accept myself more because dot dot dot I shouldn't accept myself more because dot dot dot and there may be memories that come up and it may be this belief of well this is how I motivate myself just notice what's going on for you take a deep breath open your eyes and let's start clearing some of the stuff out even though I resist accepting myself
more even though I resist accepting myself more I choose to love and accept myself anyway I choose to love and accept myself anyway even though I'm resisting self-acceptance even though I'm resisting self-acceptance I choose to love and honor myself I choose to love and honor myself even though I'm resisting self-acceptance even though I'm resisting self-acceptance I might accept myself a little bit I might accept myself a little bit but I choose to be open to the possibility but I choose to be open to the possibility that I could accept myself a whole lot more that
I can accept myself a whole lot more but for the moment I'm resisting that but for the moment I'm resisting that and even though part of me is resisting self-acceptance and even though part of me is resisting self-acceptance I choose to deeply and completely I choose to deeply and completely love honor and accept myself love honor and accept myself and maybe anyone else who contributes to these thoughts and maybe anyone else that contributes to these thoughts because I choose to be that free because I choose to be that free and then going through the points
St with the eyebrow all this resistance to self-acceptance all this resistance to self-acceptance all the ways I resist self-acceptance all the ways I resist self-acceptance all this fear of accepting myself more all this fear of accepting myself more and it may be a fear and it may be a fear that if I say I'm acceptable right now that if I say I'm acceptable right now then I don't need to improve anything then I don't need to improve anything all this fear that I'll be stuck all this fear that I'll be stuck now if I really
am that acceptable now if I really am that acceptable maybe being stuck wouldn't be so bad maybe being stuck wouldn't be so bad but that's not what I really expect but that's not what I really expect because nothing is so good that it can't get better because nothing is so good that it can't get better there are plenty of things in my life there are plenty of things in my life that I might say are acceptable that I might say are acceptable but I'd still like them to be better but I'd still like them to
be better I'm open to the possibility I'm open to the possibility that I could accept myself right now that I could accept myself right now exactly as I am exactly exactly as I am and still feel very motivated to get better and still feel very motivated to get better because I know I deserve better because I know I deserve better and I'm clearing any doubts about that and I'm clearing any doubts about that all these reasons all of these reasons why I couldn't or shouldn't accept myself more why I couldn't or shouldn't accept myself more
all these things about me all these things about me that I insist are unacceptable that I insist are unacceptable and I'm allowing myself to get clear and I'm allowing myself to get clear I am not my behavior I am not my behavior I am not my circumstances I am not my circumstances I am not my past I am not my past so I could look at some of those things so I can look at some of those things and say this is unacceptable and say this is unacceptable there might be things in my current environment
there might be things in my current environment that are definitely unacceptable that are definitely unacceptable there might be things about my behavior there might be things about my behavior that are arguably unacceptable that are arguably unacceptable that doesn't mean I'm unacceptable that doesn't mean mean I am unacceptable I am not defined by my behavior I am not defined by my behavior but my behavior but my behavior is the result of how I'm defining myself is the result of how I'm defining myself if I saw that I was more acceptable if I saw that I was
more acceptable my behavior would likely follow suit my behavior would likely follow suit so much of my unacceptable Behavior so much of my unacceptable Behavior comes from this false belief that I'm unacceptable comes from this false belief that I'm unacceptable and I choose to clear that and I choose to clear that clearing it at a cellular level clearing it at a cellular level and all the way back through my past and all the way back through my past back through all the times in my life back through all the times in my life where I
may have somehow gotten the message where I may have somehow gotten the message that I was unacceptable that I was unacceptable it's a misunderstanding it's a misunderstanding mine or someone else's mine or someone else's and I'm clearing up the confusion and I'm clearing up the confusion all of these old beliefs all of these old beliefs all of these old messages all of these old messages about me being unacceptable about me being unacceptable releasing that from every fiber of my being releasing that from every fiber of my being allowing myself to accept myself allowing myself to
accept myself and I'm not waiting for other people's acceptance and I'm not waiting for other people's acceptance too often I say too often I say I will accept myself I will accept myself when I feel accepted by other people when I feel accepted by other people there are over 8 billion people on the planet there are over 8 billion people on the planet with different interests and desires with different interests and desires I am not going to get all of them to accept me I will not get all of them to accept me no matter
how perfect I might be no matter how perfect I might be funny thing is funny thing is the more acceptable I find myself the more acceptable I find myself the more acceptable I'll be to others the more acceptable I'll be to others clearing all these reasons clearing all these reasons why I couldn't or shouldn't accept myself why I couldn't or shouldn't accept myself and then I'm in a position of power and that I in the position of power to make things so much better to make things so much much better in Body Mind and Spirit
in Body Mind and Spirit and take a deep breath thr your eyes go inside and look in that mirror and say I accept myself and hopefully uh in terms of how true that feels hopefully that number has gone up and just allow yourself to be aware because sometimes again it's like peeling layers of the onion and we might go I don't know if I accept myself more but I'm a lot more clear about what it is that I find unacceptable and then we can address that and also celebrating accepting ourselves more I mean this concept
of like fully and completely accepting ourselves like like you said before it's so hard to Define and put our you know just wrap our mind around it but if if even just moving to I accept myself more is life changing yeah I think the the toughest thing I took me a long time to learn this lesson that you know I always had the belief of like I will accept myself when and I invite listeners to notice that story do you say I'll accept myself when I make more money I find that relationship I lose that
weight and we we kind of put this acceptance on pause and the big irony of life is that the moment you accept yourself it's so easy to take care of something that you accept and that you value so if you can see your value with your flaws with where you are with your financial situation anything that's going on that acceptance makes it so much easier for us to say I'm not going to abandon myself I'm going to show up for myself I'm going to take these steps I'm going to listen to the whole Summit I'm
going to walk up wake up early and go for a walk it's so easy to take care of something that we value and we have to learn how to Value ourselves and I think that's what you're teaching us with this tapping yeah yeah as as we clear out all of the old crap about who we are based on other people's either either their misunderstandings or our misunderstandings of what they said because it's possible that someone may have said your behavior is unacceptable and all we hear is I'm unacceptable and so we've misunderstood that and as
we we separate that and we let that stuff go yeah we naturally feel much better and as we feel better our our behavior is better we in terms of how're we treat other people but also in terms of how we treat ourselves and how we deal with our jobs and everything around us we just you know as as we let go of what basically as we let go of what isn't love and we come from that place we naturally perform at a higher level uh in all ways yeah I it reminds me um I was
teaching a workshop once and this woman came up to me and I think she had listened to our interview from a previous Summit about uh being feeling like you're enough accepting yourself and feeling um enough and she she was like very she was a bit disappointed and she was like you know I still don't feel like enough I listened to that interview and I tapped and for a whole year it was amazing I felt like enough I had this huge breakthrough but now I don't really feel like enough I'm like okay well did you go
back to that tapping and she goes no and I go well I think I wasn't laugh I mean I'm laughing now but right it's like I think the concept of feeling like enough for an entire year is a pretty huge success rate and being able to continue say go back to that and I think the the real reason I bring this up is because this work is a practice it's not like if if you can tap now and you feel good for the next few months that's great but we are living in a very crazy
world with a lot coming at us from our physical world from our from this thing um and so it is a practice of do you feel like in this day and age compared to say our grandparents that didn't have a computer in their pocket all the time do you think people are struggling more with comparison and how does that play a role with this um self-acceptance okay I'm tapping on the grandparents line because Jess I remember when we didn't have a computer in our pocket but um thanks me too [Laughter] BR I have a couple
of decades on you but um um yeah absolutely we the old L ignorance is bliss yeah because constant information constant negative information is is stressful and uh so and we're going to keep getting messages of how unacceptable we are so it's like the great Zig Ziggler line about you know people say is is motivation permanent no but neither is bathing that's why we recommend it on a regular basis you know it's tapping it's like we can this is a clean process where we're cleaning out stress and and old beliefs and things like that but it's
not like you know you take one shower and you're never get dirty again so you never have to take a shower again so it's recognizing I mean that's why I recommend tapping on a daily basis because we're going to pick things up especially because of that that little um doomsayer that's in our pocket you know and we want to be washing that stuff off so we we're going to get messages that seem to be that we're unacceptable even though again it's something about us our Behavior might be unacceptable to somebody our clothing might be unacceptable
to somebody uh and and that's how it's you know again there's 8 billion people not everyone is going to accept everything about any of us so we have to say okay I'm I'm going to accept myself and letting go of this idea that these messages coming at let me say that I'm unacceptable it's like oh you know if if we're going out to dinner and I'm wearing something my wife says really you going to wear that you know it's she's saying my outfit is unacceptable she's not saying wow Brad you're a piece of crap so
it's yes but but I can depending on my programming I can misinterpret that and and likewise with with what we pick up from the the cell phone and going through Reading comments in in Instagram someone's going to say something negative about somebody that we might agree with and now we're going to go oh I agreed with that person that person is attacking it and and we might at some level say I'm less acceptable now so we want to be combating that and going okay that's I'm not defined by any of this what would you say
to someone who sees something whether it's on social media or in real life and they suddenly start comparing and it triggers them right maybe for someone it the shape of someone's body maybe it's a bake account for someone else someone's new home renovation I think we've all had experiences where we see something that's not necessarily negative but all of a sudden we're like ouch like I want that thing and I'm not feeling good about the fact that I don't have it yeah comparison is the thief of joy as they say and we can look at
things and we're so um programmed to to use that that as something to feel bad about so rather than saying oh this person has this that's great I choose to be ex excited about that and maybe I want that or maybe I'm just excited for them hey I'm it's awesome that I get to experience this for the moment without having to say and now I have to feel bad about what I have you know it's like many of us love window shopping but we don't go and look in a in a window and go wow
that's a fantastic outfit oh my God look at what I'm wearing [Music] it doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be that way so allowing ourselves to go okay I am acceptable and I can look at this and say that would be awesome too yeah I love that that would be awesome too because when we look at something and we start to judge it we're telling our subconscious mind hey well one day if you get that thing you'll be judged the same way you judge that was my thing with money I judged everybody that
had money as a kid and then you start to be successful and you go oh no I'm becoming the bad person because I've always judged people who had this thing that I didn't have the moment you do that you start you stop growing you begin to limit yourself and so it's like celebrating other people's success and going I'm inspired good for you it's like you're almost telling yourself like hey you can have that and still be accepted by yourself at least have that self-acceptance absolutely that's that's huge and that's one of the one of the
big things biggest things that stops people from having more money is the Judgment uh towards people who have money and actually I'm going to encourage folks even though we're not do a formal tapping around go ahead and take advantage of the time to to clear resistance out here as you say with anything it you know with it money or somebody's education or somebody's looks or whatever it might be if we see something go that's appealing I must now find myself less acceptable because we are making it about acceptance and and with the the judging P
it's like okay if I if I say that that's good them having that money then that must mean I am bad for not having that so how can I have self-acceptance if I don't have that but then as you said then I'm up this this Jos such that if I then have that because I can't accept myself here without it and then also um accept myself there so one of these is going to be acceptable and I'm choos and I have to choose so you know I can't accept myself until I get there which Dooms
us because then we're at a very you know unfortunate Place hoping to get someplace and the line is always going to get moved or we are afraid well then I have to say that where I'm at is acceptable and that isn't it's like no how about both are acceptable and uh where I'm at is you know it's not ideal and again acceptance is not approval it's not saying this is uh the ideal of what I want it's just the best that I could do it's I I've been doing the best I can and uh and
I accept where I'm at and I'm really excited about getting somewhere help like as you're saying it it's almost like I just imagine this this dam breaking like it's like this resistance stops like resistance for not having it having it like we're we're not fighting life anymore we're dancing with life and we're you know we feel that sense of flow I would love to do some tapping um you know that we can come back to and I think all of us can relate to a moment of just the judging um and the struggle and that
not acceptance even if we could just do something quickly on like what would you say of I'm triggered I I'm annoying that they have that thing and I don't and I'm judging myself and I and I am aware of it and I'm trying to get it out of my system yeah so close your eyes real quick and just allow yourself to be aware of whatever level of judgment you're feeling thinking about people who have something that you don't have and uh you know it could be material it could be anything some place where comparison creates
this this tension and this and this sense of judgment either a judgment towards them or judgment towards yourself and just notice on a scale of0 to 10 how strong that that feeling of judgment is notice what thoughts beliefs or memories might uh be involved take a deep breath open your eyes even though I'm feeling all this judgment even though I'm feeling all of this judgment I choose to love and accept myself I choose to love and accept myself even though I'm feeling all of this judgment even though I'm feeling all of this judgment I choose
to love and honor myself I choose to love and honor myself even though I'm feeling all of this judgment even though I'm feeling all of this judgment judgment towards other people judgment towards other people and judgment towards myself and judg towards myself and even though I'm feeling all of this and even though I'm feeling all of this I choose to deeply and completely I choose to deeply and completely love honor and accept myself love honor and accept myself and these people too and these people too at least to the best of my ability at least
to the best of my ability because I choose to be that free because I choose to be that free all this judgment all of this judgment all of this judgment all of this judgment which basically means unacceptance which basically means unacceptance I'm finding other people unacceptable I'm finding other people unacceptable and if I'm doing that and if I'm doing that I'm going to find myself judging myself too I'm going to find myself judging myself too and if it's somebody who has more than I have and if it's somebody that has more than I I have
maybe I feel I have to judge them maybe I feel like I have to judge them to justify where I'm at to justify where I'm at how can I accept myself where I'm at how can I accept myself where I'm at if I look at what other people have if I look at what other people have and think that that's better and think that that's better by comparison I must be unacceptable by comparison I must be unac acceptable says who says who this is a stupid rule this is a stupid Rule and I am dumping
it and I am dumping it otherwise it's an endless game otherwise it's an endless game I'd have to be walking down the street I'd have to be walking down the street deciding whether or not I'm acceptable deciding whether or not I'm acceptable based on everyone that I see based on everyone that I see oh that person has a lot oh that person has a lot I'm feeling unacceptable I'm feeling unacceptable oh look at that person oh look at that person now I think I feel more acceptable now I think I feel more acceptable but not
in a Joyful Way but not in a Joyful Way comparison is the thief of Joy comparison is the thief of Joy depending on how we use it depending on how we use it I can compare where I'm at to where other people are at I can compare where I'm at to where other people are at as a way of figuring out how to make things better as a way of figuring out what is better it gives me direction it gives me direction but it doesn't have to be painful but it doesn't have to be painful
it doesn't have to be judgmental it doesn't have to be judgmental I'm clearing all of this need I'm clearing all of this need for this judgment to be painful for this judgment to be painful I'm allowing myself to accept myself more I'm allowing myself to accept myself more allowing myself to accept others more allowing myself to accept others more and I might not accept their behavior and I might not accept their behavior but I choose to see them as acceptable but I choose to see them as acceptable I choose not to Define Myself by my
behavior I choose not to Define Myself by my behavior or other people or other people I choose to be much more accepting I choose to be much more accepting releasing the Judgment releasing the Judgment releasing the need to justify myself releasing the need to justify myself releasing the need to find fault with others releasing the need to find fault with others as a way of trying to defend myself as a way of trying to defend myself and I was doing the best I could and I was doing the best I could with what I'd been
taught with what I've been taught I'm setting myself free to feel a lot better I'm setting myself free to feel a lot better in Body Mind and Spirit in Body Mind and Spirit and take a deep breath close your eyes go inside and check in with that uh that feeling of judgment and hopefully we've uh cleared some of that and created some more space for peace and love beautiful I feel like what we just did is this missing key to manifesting that people don't talk about enough that when we accept ourselves and we begin to
see others having the things that we want and accepting them and accepting the fact that we can get there it's like we're we're clearing the energy we're clearing the channel for that thing to appear and for us to be able to move towards it yeah yeah cuz we're clearing all of the the negative aspects that that we don't look at we say you know we may be saying oh I want to have a lot of money but people who have a lot of money I find Despicable right so what I'm doing in my energy is
I don't want to be despised so let me sabotage myself yeah yeah and and what do we know about self- sabotage it's simply misguided self-love so then we can have that compassion for ourselves and and and also recognizing that self-sabotage is misguided self-love gives us that that level of compassion to be more accepting of ourselves so that when we engage in some unfortunate Behavior you know we um we forget to make that important phone call or we eat the whole pint of ice cream or we spend way too much on something then we can say
Okay I accept that's where I was at that moment and you know energy goes with the path of least resistance and my old Behavior patterns when I'm stressed out is the path of least resistance so I accept that meaning not not mean I'm improving of it I'm just accepting that is and now I can be at a place of peace and go all right now what do I do about that yes absolutely I mentioned before this this woman that came up to to me who had this amazing tapping experience and felt like enough for a
year and then suddenly did not feel like enough I think it's a story that we've all experienced sometimes a few times in one week um where you know we're accepting and then we're not we you know we've all had those crazy weeks sometimes in an hour will Goot sometimes in an hour can you tell us a little bit about like what can we do when we catch ourselves like we're on this path maybe we're doing great and all of a sudden we realize oh I just fell back to that old be Behavior I was doing
great for a while but here I am doing this old pattern in that moment when we recognize that recognize that what do we do yeah and ideally I it'll come as no surprise that I say this start tapping H you know because whatever we might try to wrestle with mentally there's going to be stress involved and there's going to be a part of us that's going to resist that CU if we're falling back into that place of oh maybe I'm not so great maybe I'm not acceptable maybe I'm not enough there's there's emotion and energy
there and if we just try to talk ourselves out of it we're just going to create more conflict so even if we don't use any words even if we just simply say um you know just tap and go okay this is where I'm at right now and I can allow myself to come to a place of accepting I accept this is what I'm feeling right now and based on my programming based on my circumstances based on the beliefs that I've picked up from all kinds of places it's no surprise that I feel this way at
the moment but it's a misunderstanding and as I allow myself to relax things go oh okay this is where I'm at I'm I'm not where I thought I was well it's almost like when we are not accepting and we're fighting against it this this little feeling just gets like so big and we just turn it into this giant and then moment we start tapping we realize oh maybe it's not that big of a deal maybe I haven't fallen that much maybe I can you know take the The Next Step it really kind of shrinks our
problems this acceptance to feel manageable and to feel like it they we can flow they can flow through US instead of feel like it's stuck we're down in the dumps again we're not getting out it just becomes a feeling um energy in motion and it moves through US acceptance literally is the opposite of fighting against yeah um there's a there's a a famous section in um The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous called acceptance is the answer it's you don't have to be an addict to get a lot out of uh the 12 yeah um it's
there's but this is this whole thing about acceptance is the key to all of my problems because then I stop fighting against it's not saying things are fine it's now I can see what's here again it's using the GPS now that I know where I'm at now I can find my way out so when we're looking that and it's like we may come to where as oh things aren't that bad we may also go wow things might actually be worse than I thought they were but in as I as I come myself down and the
prefrontal cortex gets engaged again because the more stressed out I am the more that's gone and I can't figure anything out the more I calm myself down I can go yes this is how bad things are I need to do this I need to do this and I I need to call that person and I need to do this so we find the way out so acceptance again puts us into that place of power where we can make those positive changes so it's just recognizing okay if I'm feeling uncomfortable the there's some misunderstandings going on
uh you know either I'm I misunderstand things aren't as bad as they are or I misunderstand I'm trying to fight against how bad things are and I'm trying to pretend and I just want to get away from that I want to I want to accept what's here and I want to accept myself in the middle of that and again it's recognizing I have been doing the best I could based on the programming that I have based on all this stuff so I accept where I'm at right now I am not settling for it not in
the least this is not saying okay this is this is I'm I'm acceptance is not the goal uh you know having that level of acceptance there but it's saying now I'm in a place where I can look at what do I really want and how do I get there you make such a good point because I think so often we start with overanalyzing ourselves too and we're just like why do I feel this way how do I figure this out how do I and we just get really in our heads we spiral yes exactly we
begin to spiral and so I think what I want to emphasize is is what you said of when you're in that state you have the stress and so before figuring it out before analizing yourself you just do the tapping like and I think that's such a great point of of you don't even have to tap on acceptance you can just be tapping yeah calm your body get your mind back online and then it's so easy like you said earlier self-sabotage is simply miscued self-love it's so much easier to have that view of your life you
after you tap to take a step back and go oh this is the thing I do when I'm scared this is the thing I do when you know I'm uncomfortable so what I need is not the criticism the pressure the kick in the butt what I need is the compassion seeing myself showing up for myself all of those things none of that happens when we're just you know in this state of that stress and that panic in the moment so I think that's such a brilliant point that you made as we calm ourselves down we
get more clear about oh you know what it's really in the way and here's what I really want to tap on and yeah not not trying to don't wait until you know exactly what to tap on just start tapping right there uh I been listening you know Jo Sally and the he he just H ponop Pono in the four statements of uh I love you I'm sorry please forgive me thank you if you don't even if you want to say something you don't know what else to say just that I love you I'm sorry please
forgive me thank you don't worry about what the words mean just just to have something to say as you're calming and and clearing things out and then it's like okay now I know what the next step is here here's what I need to do and in the midst of that finding more self-acceptance of you know what I am acceptable something about the Situation's not acceptable but as I find more self-acceptance I see myself as the person who can figure out how to make a positive change and make things first more acceptable and then more awesome
yes I love that more awesome what the these incredible tapping scripts and more going to be in the workbook which is just a great asset if people feel like they need to come back to this again and again as well as coming back to this interview Brad this has been so wonderful as we continue this journey of accepting ourselves and I'll go back to that quote that I'm paraphrasing because I don't remember exactly but Louise Hay saying you've tried hating and criticizing yourself and it hasn't gotten you far try love and accepting yourself and see
what happens that's the invitation here any last words of wisdom for those who are are accepting that invitation yeah it's really getting to that that place of of self-love and you invite folks to be tapping here again yeah exactly as that quote from from Lou says is you've tried this before and some of us may have examples of yeah and it worked you know I looked in the mirror and I shamed myself into the gym and uh and I lost that weight or I to my bank account and I told myself what a loser I
am and I finally just beat myself into a place where I you know did the did the hard work and I got the money or whatever okay but were you happy and last yeah and did it last and ultimately we we want to feel Joy and it's not a matter of you know going back to the the part we said earlier about if I accept myself then I'm going to give up and I'm I'm done not even remotely but it's getting to that place of yeah this is this is great and and I want things
to be better and better but having uh having the healthy body and the private jet if you were loathing yourself on a regular basis in order to keep motivating yourself that's not a great life um so decide decide that you're more deserving than that and love yourself right here right now love I mean really love and accept yourself right here and right now and then see from that place of power what you can create for yourself and others Brad thank you so much this is wonderful my pleasure thank you [Music]
