Hi, I'm here today to talk to you about 10 reasons not to have sex until marriage. Now, most people that will tell you not to have sex until marriage probably haven't had a lot of sex outside of marriage and they would give you an answer like it's sin or you're breaking a commandment, or something that might not make sense to you. Well I'm here today to tell you I have had a lot of sex outside of marriage and I'm going to explain to you very practically why you should wait and it's in your best interest to do so, so practically in fact, that you won't even be able to dispute me because you'll know that I'm right.
Whether you choose to do it or not is up to you. I can't do your pushups for you. I can only show you the way, so let's get started.
Shall We? Reason number 10, Sex Masks Problems. When you're having sex in a to see if you're going anywhere.
You might wonder if you're in love or if relationship, what's the point in really evaluating it you could spend the rest of your life with this person, but you're never really forced to evaluate it. Let me give you an example. My last relationship, I was having sex with my girlfriend.
It was good sex too. We'd probably broken up 20 times and I started to wonder to myself, am I really in love with this girl? And I thought the way to find out was to stop having sex, which I did in the middle of it.
I cut it off and guess what? All the problems came up to the surface and we ended up breaking up three weeks later, because when you stop having sex, it's like, I want to have sex again and I know you want to have sex again, and if we're really in love, let's just get married, but if we're not in love, let's stop wasting each other's time because you could waste years of each other's lives. Just having sex.
Reason number nine, Marriage Allows You To Evaluate Your Real Feelings. So you start talking about no sex before marriage and everybody freaks out because it sounds extreme. But what if I were to say to you, no sex before love.
That sounds reasonable, right? Something we can get our minds around. The next question will be, well, how do you know if you're in love?
Well, my answer is you wait to have sex with that person until you get married because no one's going to marry someone just to have sex with them, right? The Bible says, the heart is deceitful above all things. That means your heart will deceive you into believing something that's not true.
So you give your flesh what it wants. This happens to us all the time. Imagine you were dating someone and you said, "I love you.
Let's have sex. " And they said, "great. I love you too.
Let's get married first though. " You'd say, "Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Hold up.
Now, let me think about this. " That's a whole nother conversation, isn't it? Because we know that marriage is hard to get out of, and that's what marriage was always for.
It was to allow us to evaluate our real feelings. To see if we were really in love so we don't get stuck with someone that we're not in love with. Reason number eight, Sex Connects Us.
Okay? This one is simple biology. During sex there is a hormone released called oxytocin.
It makes women connect to men and it makes men protective over women and if you connect to someone that you're not in love with, don't start complaining when shit starts falling apart in your relationship. Plus having multiple sex partners increases your risk of divorce. There's lots of studies on it.
Just Google it. It's like having a piece of duct tape and sticking to something and then pulling it away and sticking it to something else and pulling it away and eventually you do that enough times and it won't stick to anything anymore. Reason number seven, Pregnancy.
There's always a chance you can make a baby when you have sex and as I discussed earlier, if you're having sex outside of marriage, there's probably a pretty good chance that at least one of you aren't sure if they want to spend the rest of the life with the other. Reason number six, Everybody Else Is Doing It. Let me give you a stat.
The average American goes on three dates before having sex. Let me give you another stat. The average rate of divorce in this country is around 50 percent, and my question is this, of the 50 percent that are still married, what percentage of them are happy?
Because I suspect that that number is pretty low. If I had to guess, I'd say it's 20 percent and it could be that would mean that your chances of getting married and being happier are even lower than that. If that were true though, one in 10, if you go about it the way that everybody else does, which is what?
Going out with someone and getting into a physical relationship with them quickly before you ever really know who they are, now you're connected to them and you're in something very complicated and that's how people end up divorced or unhappily married. Reason number five, what we gain too easily, we esteem too lightly. There's a saying that goes, what we obtain too easily we esteem too lightly and what it means is that if something doesn't cost you something, you don't appreciate it that much.
Look, I've been abstinent basically now for the last five years. If I were to meet Mr Right tomorrow, I think it's reasonable to assume that we would date for at least a year before we got married. That will mean that I have six years of abstinence invested in that relationship.
Now, how quickly do you think I'll walk away from it if we have a disagreement knowing that it could be another six years before I meet the next Mr, Right? Whatever it is, we will work that shit out! Now, contrast that.
How easy would it be for a person that had sex with their partner after three dates to throw it away and start over with someone when things go south? Reason number four, Transfer Of Control coming into a relationship. The big thing that a woman has control of is when they have sex.
99 nine times out of 100. A woman is going to say when, but what often happens is after sex, a woman will chase the man around for the relationship, the thing that he's in control of because the way that it was always supposed to be was a man was supposed to say to a woman, I will give you security, marriage, if you give me sex, so a woman that gives sex and doesn't get marriage or commitment is always giving and not getting and the man is getting the not giving. That's why the world looks at a man that has sex with a lot of women as a stud and a woman that has sex with a lot of men as a hoe.
I'm not saying that one party is less guilty than the other, but I did just prove my point. Reason number three, Talk Is Cheap. Ladies.
Listen, guys are good salesmen. They'll tell you that they love you and they might even mean it when they say it, but if they will wait to marry you, to have sex with you, they probably mean it and think how fast you can go through the numbers of guys. Through all the jokers, to find your prince charming that actually does mean it, and guess what?
He's going to be a lot happier that you didn't sleep with all those guys on the way. Reason number two, Physical Attraction Fades. I've dated beautiful women in my life and I found myself not even physically attracted to them anymore.
I literally would lay next to them and I would just rather have gone to sleep every night. There's a saying that goes, "show me the hottest girl in the world and they'll show you a guy that's tired of sleeping with her" and while that's a terrible saying, there's some truth in it because it's like the trick the universe plays on us that when you lead with physical attraction and then you somehow find yourself in a relationship with that person, the physical, wears off, because you never connected with them on a deeper level. Reason number one, Better To Have Lifelong Friends Than Short Term Sex Partners.
Me and a few friends started an organization called CityFam a couple of years ago and one of the taglines we like to use is "friends with better benefits" because what we found is life gets really good when you have great relationships with the people around you, especially members of the opposite sex and why burn a relationship by having sex with someone that could have been a great lifelong friend, unless you're sure you want to take that relationship to that level for the longterm because if you do get physical, someone's gonna catch feelings and when that physical relationship ends, you will probably lose that person as a So that's it. Those are my 10 reasons to not have sex friend. before marriage.
Hopefully after watching it, you see why just makes sense to wait and the real reason that people don't wait isn't because they don't believe it's right. It's because it's hard, but here's the good news. If you've already had sex, it's not too late.
This stuff still works. I'm living proof, so if you enjoyed it, hit the like or the thumbs up. Leave me a comment down below and hit the subscribe button.
I post new videos every week. Thanks.
