[upbeat techno music plays] ♪♪ [cheerful music plays] [schwing! ] -Welcome back, my candy hearts and paper flowers! [schwing!
] -[grunts] -Well, that sure could have gone better. But I'm sure the next adventure will be less. .
. uh, wet. -[Kinger]: Hey, Ragatha?
Can you help me count my eggs before they hatch? -Oh, yeah, of course. Uh -- Wait, what?
-Looks like that oh-so-positive Ragatha charm is starting to wear off, huh? -[groans] -Hmm. Hmm.
. . -[Zooble]: Looks like this one was a home run, eh?
-Oh, Zooble, you mismatched cash-piano. I'll tear YOU TO PIECE-- Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. -[Zooble]: But never acknowledged.
-[growls] That's it! Everybody besides Zooble, get over here! [mystical shimmering] Everyone, I'm going to pitch to you some future adventure ideas, and I'm going to ask you to give me your honest opinions on them.
-I was gonna sleep. -All right! So, I've got an adventure where you all tour my amazing magic chocolate factory and get killed off one by one from OSHA violations, one where a sentient cardiovascular system goes to war against the United States military, and one where you have to survive in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland with a telepathic talking dog who's mean to you the whole time!
What do you think? -Uh, I don't know. They all sound a little.
. . uh, dark?
-I can't tell a compelling story where nothing bad happens. Where's the intrigue? The stakes?
-Not to mention the sssssex appeal. -What are you talking about? -[Zooble]: You know, you could always try the suggestion box again.
I honestly didn't hate the last one we did with it. -You. .
. didn't hate it? -[Zooble]: It was kind of refreshing doing something grounded in reality.
-Yeah, I really didn't mind that one, either. -Uh, what about the rest of you? [overlapping chatter] -[Jax]: I very much did not enjoy that one in the slightest, and if we ever do anything even close to that again, I'm getting violent, and I'm going to kill Ragatha.
-Well, how am I gonna please everybody if you all like different things? -[Zooble]: Maybe just keep your adventures open at all times and let us do whatever we want, when we want. -Are you hearing this, Bubble?
The toybox character wants us to leave the other intelligent AIs to run for a prolonged period of time. -Disgusting! -[Zooble]: Am I not supposed to be hearing you?
-Zippy! [zip! ] -[Zooble]: What did you even zip up?
I don't have a mouth. -Okay, well, how about this? We'll do a lightning round, going through all the suggestions in the suggestion box in rapid succession.
And if you don't like one, you can all vote to skip it. -What? Like, now?
-That's right! So, grab your bones and pop your pansies, 'cause here we go! -Wait, didn't we just finish an adventure?
-I was gonna sleep! [dramatic music plays] Oh, wait, I know what this is! -[Zooble]: Oh, I swear to God, if this is one of your suggestions.
. . -Hi, everyone!
In today's episode of "Poach Everything," I'm going to be hunting the critically endangered red ribbon rhinoceros. Ahh, just like mom used to make. [cheerful musical sting plays] [growling] -[Zooble]: Oh, my God.
-Ahh, delicious meat. One down, four to go! -[Zooble]: All right, I'm calling a vote.
Let's skip this one -- and also make Jax a vegan for the rest of the day. -You can't do that. [high-pitched tones chiming] [buzzer blats] [ding!
] What do you mean, you can do that? -Sorry, Jax -- democracy has spoken. -Democracy sucks.
[portal shimmering] -[Pomni]: Wait, what? Why me? -[Jax]: Eh, I thought a position of power suited you.
-[Zooble]: Oh, my God, are these all gonna be Jax's ideas? [patriotic music plays] -[Kinger]: Well, Ms. President, it looks like there are some new developments in the ongoing war between Australia and New Zealand.
We may need to take in some refugees. What do you think? -Wh-- How do you know what to do?
What? -[Kinger]: Didn't you get the brief? -I am.
. . just being here.
-You're doing great, Pomni! -[Kinger]: Come down here for a sec. [whispering] We all got briefs on our characters.
I'm your assistant. -I-Is that a baby-head lamp? -[Kinger]: Didn't you get one, too?
I figured we were all on the same page here. But, if not, you're gonna have to tap into those golden improv skills. -I'm sorry, what?
-[Jax]: Oh, yeah! I didn't give you one 'cause I wanted to see what you'd do! -Thanks, Jax.
Appreciate it. -[Kinger]: I'm not Jax. -[Australian accent] Oy, mate!
I'm an Australian extremist, and I've come to detonate this bomb that'll release all the world's deadliest spiders into. . .
[normal voice] Did I pick a bad time? [canned laughter plays] [laughter continues over speakers] -His acting is phenomenal. It's hard to believe he's vegan.
-Why wouldn't the president have a bomb squad? ! -Don't worry, President Pomni!
I believe you can do this. -There's centipedes in there, too. -Just be sure you know what you're doing.
-Okay, well, which wire do I cut? -Follow your heart. -You stay out of this!
Shouldn't you be arrested, or something? -Hey, I'm on your side here. -You're literally not.
-Come on, just pick your favorite color. -Like the red one? -[Kinger]: I'd personally go with blue.
Blue's my favorite color -- it being closest to black, and all. -Wouldn't black be your favorite color, then? -[Kinger]: Well, no.
There's no black wire. -Hi. I'm a New Zealand extremist, and.
. . I.
. . don't.
. know what New Zealanders threaten people with. [bomb ticking] [mellow jazz music plays] ♪♪ -[distorted feedback blares] [cheerful pop music plays] -[Singer]: [singing in Japanese] ♪♪ -What is this?
I don't like this. -[Zooble]: [sighs] Can it. At least we finally have one that's by someone else.
-Yeah, there's nothing more fun than being back in school. -Just give it a chance, Jax. Jeez.
-[Zooble]: There's nothing wrong with your suggestion. -Wh-- H-How did you know this was my suggestion? !
-Can you believe this, Pomni? First she draws anime. Now she drags us all into one.
[scoffs] She must be one of them, uh. . .
losers. -You threw me out of a moving truck. -[Kinger]: All right, class.
Today, we're gonna learn the popular foreign language known as. . .
English? -This is boring. I vote we skip it.
-[Zooble]: Shut up, we're not skipping it. -[scoffs] Slice-of-life animes are the worst ones. It's embarrassing!
[chuckles] I mean, I guess it's not as embarrassing as that time Gangle took an anime figure and -- -Actually, yeah! We can skip it, that's fine! Let's skip this one!
[mellow celestial music plays] [insects chirping softly] ♪♪ -Are we just chilling for this one? Can I finally relax? -Uh, I guess so.
But, uh, I prefer a little bite to my adventures. -[Kinger]: [chomps] Then why don't you help yourself to a sangwidge? -[Zooble]: Here.
-Thanks. -Do you think Gangle is actually capable of being happy? -What?
-I dunno. Like, her comedy mask still breaks every day. Does she think hanging out with Zooble is gonna magically fix that?
-Maybe she just doesn't wanna hang out with someone who's mean to her all the time. -She likes when I'm mean to her, though. -I didn't think you cared about what other people like.
-[scoffs] I just. . .
No, yeah, y-you're right -- I don't. -Do you have any. .
. actual friends? -Not anymore.
Oh -- Oh. Oh, wait, no. Uh, I'm -- I'm sorry.
I-I wasn't talking about -- That --That wasn't meant to be -- Uh -- Uh. . .
Hey, Kinger! [laughs awkwardly] Did you see the fireflies all the way over there? -[Kinger]: [gasps] Where?
! -What was that about? -It's nothing.
Who cares? [sighs] Doesn't she get on your nerves sometimes? -I mean, she's nice to everyone.
-[sighs] I don't know, I just -- I think she tries way too hard. Like, we're stuck in -- Why are you always pretending everything's always fine? Like, if you tell someone they're loved and appreciated every day, it just kind of loses all meaning.
[inhales deeply] [sighs] It just feels like she's trying to take advantage of you, you know? I don't know. Also, she's dumb, and she looks weird.
-Eh, I think we all look weird. -[scoffs] Excuse you. This is what peak male performance looks like.
My ears and tail are kind of the pinnacle of masculinity. -You don't have a tail. -[scoffs] What are you talking about?
Yes, I do. It's -- It -- What the -- Where's my tail? How long have I not had my tail?
-I have never seen you with a tail. -When would that have even. .
. [stammers] ♪♪ -They look happy. -They do, don't they?
-You think after this, maybe we could -- -Wait a minute! That's a bad thing! -Explain to daddy Bubble how bad thing?
-I-I think that -- Don't say that. I-I think they're enjoying the suggestion box adventures more than the me adventures! What should I do?
-You should die -- You should throw a [BLEEP! ] beach party! -Why do you swear now?
Ugh, forget it. Let's go to an intermission. [rewound audio warbles] -[deep sultry voice]: Intermission time.
[record scratches] [trippy music plays] [remixed vocals play] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ -[Zooble]: Caine, what are we doing right now? -We're intermissioning! -[Zooble]: Why?
Uh. . .
Hello? -And now, back to the show! [moody jazz music plays] [bell jingles] ♪♪ -Gimme a whiskey sour.
But hold the egg white, since I'm a vegan. Wha-- I hate this! How is this even possible?
I thought Caine couldn't -- -[Zooble]: I could have made it way worse for you. -Well, I'm calling a vote to turn Zooble into a slug. [warbling tones play] [low tones play] -Everyone voted against that.
-UUUUGGHH! ! No hate it.
. . [bell jingles] -[Kinger]: Phew!
It's raining like the dickens out there. -Hey, guys. ♪♪ I'll have a cosmopolitan.
-[Kinger]: Gimme a corncob blitz. -[Zooble]: I'll throw something together. -You know your way around alcohol, huh?
-[Zooble]: Yeah. This was one of my suggestions. I worked at a bar briefly.
I like making drinks. -[scoffs] That sounds fitting for you. -[Zooble]: I know there's an implication there, but I can't be [BOINK!
] to figure it out. -So, Pomni, you ever have any jobs? Or are you too young for that?
-I'm 25 years old. And, yeah. I was an accountant for a -- a supermarket chain.
-A supermarket? How'd you end up here? -Well, I.
. . sometimes got bored of things.
. . and I would seek out mild thrills.
Like exploring abandoned buildings, you know? And posting videos of it online. -Ah, a YouTuber.
-Not really. Nobody watched them. It was just something I did for me.
-[Zooble]: I sometimes did that. I wouldn't record it, though. Here's your cosmo.
-Thanks. -Hiding something. -[Zooble]: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?
What's your story, then? -Ah, I thought you'd never ask. Well, after my lung cancer diagnosis, me and my junkie associate from a chemistry class I used to teach -- -[Zooble]: I figured.
How about you, Gangle? -Hey, I wasn't done. -[Zooble]: If you're gonna make [BOINK!
] up, at least be creative about it. I know what you're referencing. -Was that a reference to something?
-Uh. . .
I worked in fast food. -[Zooble]: You've done more than that. What about your art?
-I was in community college for graphic design, but I dropped out. I didn't really pursue art much after that. -[Zooble]: Hey, I'm always down to make art together, if you want.
-Oh, I didn't know you were an artist, too, Zooble. -[Zooble]: Uh, yeah, I was a tattoo artist for a couple years. -A bartender AND a tattoo artist?
[laughs] You're killin' me here, Zoobie. -[Zooble]: What do you mean when you say that? Do you have, like, an actual point?
Or are you just talking? -I'm just havin' fun. I forgot you hate fun.
-[Zooble]: Fun isn't the thing I hate. -I guess I'll go now. Oh, jeez, where to start.
[laughs nervously] Um, I was born into a fairly wealthy family. We had a large property with horses and chickens. And my mother.
. . Uh, well.
. . my mother was.
. . a lot.
Uh, I worked in real estate for a bit until I ended up. . .
here. [sighs] I'm sure she doesn't miss me. I certainly don't miss the yelling.
. . and the berating.
. . and guilt-tripping.
. . [laughs nervously] And the.
. . Yeah.
[laughs] Just kind of a farm girl. Nothing too out of the ordinary. ♪♪ -And no point in asking Kinger, 'cause there's no way he remembers anything.
-[Kinger]: Never better! -Do you guys know about his wife? -Huh?
-[Kinger]: MY WHAT? ! Oh.
-[scoffs] [door opens] [bell dings] -[NPC]: He-- -What? -[Zooble]: That's disappearing guy. That's just what he does.
-I see. From a previous adventure? -Yeah.
God, Pomni. You didn't know that? -[Zooble]: I'm ignoring you.
-By the way, Pomni, sorry about the whole president thing. I just thought it'd be funny. -Uh, are -- are -- are you apologizing?
What's happening? -[Zooble]: Just ignore him. -Uh.
. . Apology accepted.
I guess. -Wow, the first steps of a budding friendship. Right, Ragatha?
-Uh, hey, Pomni. Remember when Kaufmo smashed me against the walls and I got all jumbled up? Ah, all things considered, that was pretty funny, right?
-Noooo? Not really. -Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, sorry. That was probably pretty traumatic for you. -Ooh, remember when you got high at McDonald's and told Gangle to kill herself?
[chuckles] Now that was funny. -What? I-I did not say that!
I-I think. No. No, of course I didn't.
I -- And I am still so, so sorry about that, Gangle. I would never have said anything like that if I didn't get that stupid sauce in my eye! -Jeez, Raggy, just let yourself be mean sometimes.
It's funny. -[Zooble]: Yeah. Constantly tormenting Gangle's really funny, Jax.
-You guys all take this place way too seriously. Wh-- What is this? Why'd you do that?
Can you get that thing away from me? -[Zooble]: Are you afraid of corn? -No.
Who's afraid of corn? [exclaims] -I'm bored! Let's go to the next adventure!
-[Zooble]: You're not even a part of -- [crowd cheering] -[Caine]: [through microphone] It's softball, ladies and gentlemen! -[Ragatha]: O-Oh. We're doing this now?
-Beautiful night for a game, right, Bubble? -BLEEEH! !
-We've got the Big Tops playing against the Evil Big Tops! -'Sup, [BLEEP! ]?
I'm Evil Pomni. -[cackling] I'm Evil Ragatha! -[Evil Kinger]: Coach Dictatorer, here!
-[nervously] Uh, hi, guys. I-I'm Evil Jax. -[Evil Orbsman]: Evil Orbsman, reporting for duty!
-[Evil Zooble]: [goofy voice] I'm Bazooble! [babbles] -Well, that wasn't in my suggestion. -Why don't I get an evil clone?
-But first, let's welcome our special guest, here to sing the American national anthem. [crowd cheering] [microphone feedback squeals] -[Disappearing Guy]: ♪ Oh, sa-- ♪ [applause] -[screams] -[Kinger]: All right, team! I may not know what's going on or who is going on, or when is going on, or why is going on, but I do know where is going on, and it's out on that field.
So, let's go break some tailbones, team. -H-Hey, guys. -I-I hope we all have a fun game, no matter who ends up winning.
-I wanna kill that guy. -Well, hello, Stupidgatha! I hope you're ready to get completely annihilated!
[cackles] Nobody loves you, and you're going to die someday! [cackles] -We can't exactly die. That's like the whole thing here.
-[Evil Orbsman]: What the frick? -Huh? Oh, check this [BLEEP!
] out. You're out, dumb-[BLEEP! ] -[BOINK!
] it! -Hah! Get owned!
-[BLEEP! ] yeah, that's what I'm sayin'. -Ah, she's cool.
Wait, w-what's that? [chime rings] What the heck? !
Who did this? ! -[giggles] -YOU!
-[screaming] -[Zooble]: Hey! -[wailing] -[Kinger]: Jax, you're up to bat! -I cant -- Don't wanna -- [stammers] I look like this, though!
-[Zooble]: Seems fitting for you, though. I figured you'd be into this. -What does that mean?
What's that supposed to mean? -[Zooble]: I'm just havin' fun. I forgot you hate fun.
-I don't want to wear this! [breathing heavily] -[Zooble]: I have never seen you this upset about something. -[Kinger]: Jax!
Bat! -I'm gonna kill you when this is over. -[Evil Zooble]: Let's see what you're made of!
-Sh-- Shut up! -D-Don't worry! I think you look good!
-I don't want to hear that! I want you dead! -[chomps] -Huh, I guess there's no more ball.
We're done. -[Kinger]: Wait! I got this!
Hmm. -[Zooble]: Wh-- Hey! -[Kinger]: Sorry, Zooble.
It's just the perfect regulation softball size. We're not playin' baseball, here. -[sighs] I'm not doing this anymore.
-[Kinger]: Wait, Jax! Wh-- What about where is going on? -[sighs] I can't believe I hit it right to her.
I'm supposed to be better than that. [sighs] Sorry. I should be a better sport.
-Not to, like, agree with Jax, or anything, but there's nothing wrong with showing your negative emotions. That's. .
. pretty normal. -[sighs] I don't know.
I don't want to be a jerk, or anything. -I think we all need to be a jerk sometimes. -[mumbles] Maybe.
Who knows? -[Zooble]: Caine! We need a ball here!
-[snores] [stammers] Wha-- Oh! [schwing! ] -[Zooble]: Jax, we have a ball now!
What are you doing? -Ugh, see ya. Whoops, I missed.
Oh, darn, I'm out. -Having fun? -Oh, you know it.
Oh, look, Gangle's up to bat. How do you think this is gonna go? -Would you stop trying to force her to act like you?
-Oh, yeah, I should force her to be happy all the time instead -- right. -Well, it's better than turning her into some insensitive jerk who deflects everything. -I can think for myself, guys.
-Hey, I ain't forcin' anything on ya. -And then you just act like you never do anything wrong and everybody loves you, when, in reality, you just [BONK! ] everything up for everyone else!
-Okay, let's, like, calm down a bit. -What? !
You're the one who said it's fine to be a jerk sometimes! Ugh! I'm sorry, Pomni.
[sighs] That wasn't very cool of me. -I-It's fine. -No apologies for me?
This is so sad. -[sighs] I'm sorry, Jax. .
. for. .
. for bringing up that thing earlier. -So.
. . You wanna.
. . talk about that?
-I'm in a maid outfit. What do you think? [yelps] -[sighs] So, how's the game going?
-[Kinger]: Great! Gangle hit a home run! -Really?
-Yeah. Your instructions helped me a lot. -Huh.
[laughs softly] -[Zooble]: Can you give me my eye back? -[Evil Zooble]: Jokes on you -- I've already forgotten what you're talkin' about! [grunts] -Wowie!
Another home run! -[Evil Kinger]: God [BLEEP! ] -[Zooble]: What, uh -- Okay.
-[Kinger]: Nice going, Zooble! All right, Pomni, you're up. -Hey, Ragatha?
You wanna bat for me instead? -O-O-Oh, uh. .
. I guess I could, if you really don't want to. -Think of it as a -- a second chance to show 'em who's boss.
-[chuckles] Yeah. Uh. .
. -Bazowieezooweewa! Another home run!
And that makes three home runs in a row! The Big Tops win! -Uh, that's.
. . not how softball works.
-Well, that's how my softball works. We're done! Hooray!
-No! [shrieking] -Ugh. [BLEEP!
], man. We didn't even get to bat. -[Kinger]: You did it, Ragatha!
-Whoa! -[Kinger]: We won! -Uh, I mean, I guess.
[laughs] -Good job -- whatever you did. -[Zooble]: Huh? Uh, oh, yeah.
Good job, team. -Huh? Oh, cool.
I'm not a vegan anymore. -Oh, hey! W-Wait, what are you -- -[growling] -[screaming] -[Kinger]: Why is going on?
! [screaming and growling continue] [portal shimmering] -Well, I hope we all learned that suggestion box ideas are actually not fun at all, and Caine's ideas are much better! -[Zooble]: Well, some of them were pretty okay.
-I kind of liked the low-stakes ones. -I thought the first two were awesome. The rest, eh.
Oh, yeah, Pomni -- I can show you that thing in the hall I was talking about. -Uh, oh, yeah, sure.
