a friend of mine and she teaches a fourth-grade class and they were a theology class so they had to take a test to say you know what are the three vows that religious people take right chastity obedience poverty chassis abuse okay and this one kid run town poober t like p oo you know boo Bertie Obadiah and chasta khals so today we're gonna talk about chastity [Music] today we want to talk about chastity how to actually live it out one of the top questions we get is I'm great I buy into it I get it
how do I actually do this thing yeah how do I look at live chase Lee yeah without losing my mind so got some tips for you today and the very first thing we want to do and start with is prayer because it's not just a white-knuckle unhealthy repression chesties the fruit of prayer and so let's actually take it to prayer so in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit amen lord thank you for the gift of our bodies thank you for the gifts of desire of the ache we have for
you and how that comes out so much in our love purify us purify our desires allow us to sit in times of loneliness to sit in times of temptation to keep our eyes on you transform our desires Lord you know what when you said that I actually that's why we started prayer it made me think that a lot of times we aren't chaste because that ache in our hearts we try to fill that with pleasure with with people with relationships with romance so to the extent that we pray and that we allow God to satisfy
the ache is to the extent that we won't use people we will learn to love people properly because chassie the definition of chastity is an integration of body and soul our body is following what our soul once because a lot of times with sin or I guess this is what sin is sin is when our souls no like I should love you I should treat you properly but our body is like oh but I want to use you for the pleasure I can get right sin is always like it's it's this disruption we know we're
supposed to be doing something but our body's not following it so chastity is this integration where my soul knows I should be loving and my body follows that but we can't do that without a relationship with God like we can't just pull ourselves up by the bootstraps I had friends who tried to do that before their wedding they were not chaste and like six months before you live we have to we have to be chaste we have to be chase but it doesn't work like that like chassis is a virtue and virtue takes practice just
like a professional athlete right like you read a book about how how long does it take to become a professional ten thousand hours ten thousand and women yeah ten thousand hours so if you're a professional baseball player or professional musician it takes a lot of practice and so when it comes to chastity it's not just like an overnight success you're gonna stumble and fall you're gonna have to practice in practice to learn how to love the other so the first thing we say is prayer prayer relationship with God letting God satisfy that ache and not
using other people with for that ache whether it's pornography whether that's in a relationship using somebody for emotional or physical pleasure so first thing God needs to satisfy that ache number one number two know thyself st. Thomas More said a man should not go where he is tempted and so know yourself know what am I trying to to do what am I trying to get out of their relationship and be honest with yourself like what are your intentions what are you intending like okay so I'm not my motives aren't pure here when there's students that
will try to woo a lady I I challenge them be like guys what are you doing why you bringing this girl flowers are you going a hundred or you're gonna like bring her over to me your family no I'm straight well it's like okay what are you doing and they leave if you're shying away from your motives that's that's a sign maybe my heart's not in the right place here maybe I need to untwist something and that requires dying to myself dying to my my lust maybe my desire to use someone that has to die
for real love to bloom but to know okay well there's certain apps that get me in trouble certain spots on the internet that gave me in trouble Saint Thomas More would say do not go there and I'm pretty sure in scripture it says if there's an app that it's causing you to sin cut it off right it says that it's somewhere in the back yeah but if there's an app place like snapchat we know man people say snapchat even advertisements or even Instagram when you search and there's like oh if that is causing you to
sin don't do it is your soul like as your soul is it worth it really to just like no get rid of it no be mature get rid of it yeah no one to stop scrolling no be if you have to get rid of an app or a device I know guys and girls who have downgraded from smartphones to dumb phones cuz they're like this is not worth my soul know yourself hungry I learned the acronym hull honk it's a pulse so hungry angry lonely tired stressed you're hungry you're not yourself when you're hungry if
you get hangry and you make bad decisions no be aware when I'm hungry I'm not in the right state of mind angry definitely don't make good decisions when you're angry so know that lonely is a big one especially for for chasity that I will seek out intimacy false intimacy whether that's people whether that stuff on the internet so recognize okay I'm lonely I should take this to prayer instead of trying to you know indulge in anything else that that's not gonna lead to good a good outcome here tired if you know that I don't make
good decisions after a certain point where I'm sleepy be aware don't put yourself in that spot and the last thing is stress because stress absolutely will affect us in our decision-making so know yourself be honest with yourself and what the motives are in your heart number three I would say a huge part of being chaste and this is when you were if you're in a relationship is make sure the person that you are dating or pursuing that they are on the same page because it is difficult enough already when you are when you were with
somebody who is on the same page it is so difficult to be chase so when we were engaged oh my gosh I was like I knew this guy's the guy I'm gonna marry I love him I want to give myself fully to him and that was suppose so difficult Mike look at him okay but I it's like oh I love you so much but we're not married you're not married to you're married even he got a ring on it you were not married until you say wedding vows until you have committed your life you are
not married because we've known engaged couples who've given themselves fully but they were married and then they broke off the engagement make sure they're on the same page because the person is just tolerating you I had this a lot when when I would date guys like in college I would immediately tell them number one I'm not having sex with you and some of them be like Oh or I and I would say I'm not doing all these other things either and they're like oh come on don't be so prove my own oh you did it
I will cut you not not like that not like with like a shift but like cut the relationship I and I did because I realized they were just they didn't care about they just wanted to use me for pleasure and I if someone if you're a relationship with someone like that um do not be in it because it's not worth it you need someone who cares for you who wants to love you because it is difficult enough when you're on the same page if you are not on the same page that person is going to
push you and keep pushing you and push you until you are in a moment of weakness which happens to all of us right and then you're gonna I have so many friends who've had that happen right you in a moment of weakness you're like man there's something I never thought I would do I did because this person was not trying to help me but when you are on the same page it's still difficult so what are some things we can see why you need number four yeah accountability so friendships people that will hold you accountable
to the truth and ask you how are you doing and your chastity so for guys especially you need good male friendships ladies you need good lady friendships and we were dating we both had friends that I would ask how you guys doing so we knew that on top of our own trying to keep boundaries not staying you know past a certain time we also knew that friends would be asking how are you guys doing so that's a good thing in the back I've had that again love speaks truth so love wants to know and be
transparent and open in the light when we're trying to sin when we're acting on selfish impulses we try to hide so we try to maybe hide a relationship or hide what we're doing from other people but love says I want this open to the truth which is again it's it's kind of a painful thing we have to die to ourselves in our own self-centered desires yeah but it's the only way to authentically love so you need to seek out friend and pray for good friendships if you feel that you don't have that ask God to
give you a good friend that and maybe you need to be that for someone else too maybe God's putting that on your heart so you can ask someone hey do you want someone to walk with you on this yeah I know were five have some boundaries for yourself for us it was like listen I think it's past 10 o'clock you need to go because past 10 o'clock we become trolls or whatever you know 10 11 o'clock whatever time you know you need to go that's good number two I I kind of start I say it's
people like if you're by if you're especially if you're out in the younger side and your parents aren't home and start like you don't date in the context of relationships it's always to me a red flag when people always need to be by themselves like they don't date in in community and don't date with family and lastly I would say if you want to be chaste you have to stay detached in a way so this person is not yours until they're yours until you've said I am yours in your mind at the in your wedding
vows so you have to always it helps me a lot to say like this person might marry somebody else like they might marry my best friend they might become a priest which some of them did but to know that like when I'm dating my goal is not again to get as much as I can but to love them respect them and help to guard their heart mind body and soul so it helped me in a way to say like this is this is my brother in Christ who I love and if someday I make their
future wife I should be proud of the things I did with them or if they become a priest I should be proud that I helped guard and protect their heart mind body and soul now again we don't do this perfectly so that's why we need confession we need we need God's grace we need to pray we community and all the things we just said so your desires will be transformed but it's a lifelong process day by day hour by hour we're praying for you Godspeed from all of us at ascension presents god bless
