Sex Psychology - How Men and Women Mate Differently

[Music] 10 sexual psychology in the previous segment I discussed how children are different from adults and some of our psychological traits or age related such as our linguistic and cognitive learning abilities we lose the ability to learn language successfully after a certain age I also discuss how children are wired to get attached to their provider and protectors and this segment I'll discuss the psychology of the Sexes are men and women different in their psyche sexual dimorphism one of the most important human behavior is meeting and reproduction after food insecurity sexual urges the strongest Instinct in

animals including humans as animals our basic biological purpose in life is to survive in order to M and reproduce future Generations as a result a lot of what we do on a daily basis are directly or indirectly influenced by our urge to meate Homo sapiens are dimorphic which means male and female Sexes have to make to reproduce this also means that males and females are different in size reproduction cost and fertility window males are generally bigger than females another huge difference is the cost of meeting for males there's little or no cost when mating but

for females it means 9 months of pregnancy and a very painful birth and throughout history a chance of death at child birth another major difference is fertility window men stay fertile much longer and more constantly while females have a shorter monthly window as well as shorter overall fertility window as females experience menop due to these basic biological differences men and women have different mating strategies which influence our behaviors towards each other on a more physiological level men produce more testosterone than women which makes us more aggressive while women produce more estrogen which is more bonding

chemical as a result the urge for sex differs between men and women in general men have a much stronger drive to have sex than women for women the urge for sex goes up and down during their monthly cycle peing during ovulation while for men the urge to have sex remains at a higher level throughout the month and throughout their lives research shows that men are more willing to have sex casually therefore they treat sex as a more physical act while women tend to treat sex as an emotional experience this is because biologically women take a

far greater risk when in having sex due to pregnancy and birth in today's world due to contraceptives this risk is minimized but the psychological hardwiring in women still prevents them from having sex with anyone so they are still far more selective than men since men take new physiological risk during pregnancy there is little genetic hardwiring in us to avoid sex while for a man a risk mainly comes from social legal or financial standpoints if he impregnates a woman but for woman the risk is physiological and in premodern time it also meant a huge survival risk

for example historically for women it was a matter of life and death but for men sex was just a great opportunity to pass on their genes so throughout history generally speaking men were seeking sex while women wanted commitment The Stereotype that men want sex and women want love is somewhat true because women want the men to stick around after sex the Romantic archetypes do differ for women it's a strong Beast who can be tamed and for men it's the damsel and distress that can be rescued so the Beauty and the Beast are very different in

what they really want men are more visual so Beauty plays an important role while women are more auditory so they prioritize the ability to tell good and interesting stories how do these differences emerge in boys and girls according to studies conducted by Masters and Johnson's in the 1950s and 60s boys and girls grew at a similar rate until puberty after puberty the differences start to show more drastically boys tend to show more aggression due to high levels of testosterone while girls tend to show neuroticism due to high level of estrogen so boys Express themselves through

physical confrontations like fights and sports while girls express themselves through gossip and storytelling according to the British biologist Lis walburn who was born in 1921 men are modified women he argues that male and female embryos are identical except the female has the XX chromosomes while the male has X why he speculates that we all conceived as female but male embryos change because instead of two X chromosomes they have 1 x and one y this even plays in language we call Mother Nature not father nature instead we have a father God or a sky father Le

walart also argues that agriculture developed because of women's Gathering role within the human race men were Hunters therefore spend far more time away while the femal stayed behind and gathered fruits and vegetables which led to the Agricultural Revolution the this is not scientific but in agricultural civilizations like China and India they tend to be more feminine in fact Hinduism encourages vegetarianism within its religious teachings in a novel titled wolf totem by the Chinese author Jang grong he relates his own observation of spending time among the Mongols and saw how different they were from the Chinese

in terms of masculinity because Mongols were predominantly hunters and herders while the Chinese were were predominantly farmers of course it's a work fiction but generally it's accepted among biologists that we are made of what we do and what we eat this is why Kenyans dominate long-distance running sports like Marathon so walart argues that agriculture allowed cities and civilization to flourish and this made men to be more like women staying in one place or attached to a piece of land as a result City walls and Country walls were built to defend against against other wandering hungry

men but going back to physiological differences the American neuroscientist Paul Zach born in 1962 studied brain chemicals and found that women release more oxytocin oxytocin is a nurturing chemical in which you understand and sympathize with others and sometimes it's called the moral chemical because it's released when you do morally good things like helping and looking after someone else the reason for that is that estrogen which women have more of encourages the release of oxytocin as a result women are far better nurturers and more social women also have relatively larger hippocampus where we store long-term memory

which helps them to store more emotional data this is why women notice subtle emotional differences on other people this emotional sensitivity when gone to the extreme leads to neuroticism Which is far more common among women than men Paul Zac also found that testosterone predominantly the male hormone blocks oxto this explains male aggression throughout history men were the soldiers and Fighters the physical beasts therefore had less necessity for understanding social cues meeting urges when it comes to meeting males and females have almost opposing strategies generally females want taller men while while males want shorter females females

want strong masculine men while males want soft feminine women but among the human species it's generally the females who are the selectors how do we know that when it comes to cognitive abilities the male bell curve is far wider than female Paul Zac argues that since males fall on both sides of the IQ extremes the most intelligent as well as the least intelligent is because women are the electors so they usually select the most intelligent as better candidates for meting in Security in other words the spectrum of intelligence is wide enough among men so females

can have a choice if all men were of the same level of intelligence females would have a really hard time choosing the ability to be financially well off is generally tied to a man's level of intelligence in 1969 Hudson and hens conducted research in which they found that women found a man's Financial IAL ability very important while for men it was merely desirable David B born in 1953 the American evolutionary psychologist in his popular book The Evolution of Desire explains males and females dating and meeting strategies While most of the book deals with the studies

done by other psychologists he also carried out some studies in the 0s and later on and it was consistent that women generally prefer Men Who provided financi these seem to be crosscultural and around the world females generally see Financial stability at the top of their meeting priority it makes sense since women go through pregnancy and child birth during which they need help with food and security so competency in acquiring resources is extremely important for a man to meet this is why men prioritize practical jobs and dominate stem subjects science technology engineering and maths at universities

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Comfort have come about because women asked for it in other words women want a man who can build a safe and comfortable Nest I.E a place made of marbles therefore men have had the strongest urge to tame the world this is why men take risk when it comes to work for example more than 90% of work related deaths are males because men take higher risk in the hope of finding or maintaining their Partners but in the premodern world maternal mortality was extremely high so women took a massive Risk by mating in general and meeting with

a weak man was a huge risk another important criteria by which women select their mates is based on a man's status the most desirable men are athletes singers CEOs anyone who respect ected within their Community women mostly young women flock to sleep with this High status men there's an argument that it is in fact other men who help females select their mate since males respect those who rise above them either through competence creativity or power this in turn allows females to choose those men who are respected by other men this is tied with security if

other men respect a man he's more likely to be a safer bet than someone who is not respected by other men when it comes to age bus also found that women prefer men older than themselves the reason is that the older men tend to have more excess resources and have acquired more status or are generally more mature ambition intelligence hard work height and strength or other selection criteria for women he concluded that females look for survival traits what is surprising is that when he studied women who are financially successful themselves eles they have an even

stronger urge to find a mate who is financially on the same level or better this is often called female hypergamy which means females date across or up financially status Wise agewise height and strengthwise while males are more likely to date down in terms of status finances age physical strength and height this means men are okay with meeting with someone who is younger poorer shorter weaker and less famous generally speaking it shows that males and females meeting strategies are opposite but complimentary males look for things they themselves lack which is nurturing and soft feminine energy and

Beauty females on the other hand look for someone who is physically stronger more experienced and better provider the urge to find a provider is so strong that women who are rich still want someone richer this study is consistent in many different countries David bus also looked at men it appears men generally want the opposite of what women want one of the biggest criteria by which men choose is youth research conducted by grammar in 1992 in Germany shows that as men gain more money and Status they tend to find partner who are younger of course not

all men have the choice since among Homo sapiens the females are the selectors men have to build the nest and hope that females show up this is why men strive to get rich and famous so females notice them this is why men used to carry big swords and Road big horses back in the days and today they buy sports cars which is peacocking to attract women but historically a small minority of men had all the women because they had all the resources and power so generally speaking most high status men have a younger partner which

while men of lower status are more likely to meet with women who are older than themselves of course culture and religion also have an important influence in how we M select so morality has curb some of our animalistic urges the second most important criteria for men is beauty according to evolutionary biology beauty is generally understood to be tied to healthy genes since we have no knowledge of someone's genetic makeup beauty is the best cue to judge if somebody's healthy who can produce healthy children as women have become more financially independent in recent decades they also

prioritize look and choosing a mate a third criter by which men M select is Chastity and most animals their sexual organs are on the outside invisible for males to see when the females are ovulating in humans however it's concealed so human males do not know when a woman is fertile as a result human can have sex anytime so this opens up the possibility of poent ity issues when a man and woman me the female knows the child is theirs but historically it was impossible for a man to prove the child was there so men had

to rely on the woman's words or the physical features of the child but we know humans lie so one of the safest strategies for a men was to mate a virgin as a result chestday has been important for men throughout the world virginity was considered the ultimate sign of Chastity today thanks to DNA Tech techology paternity tests exist to determine the father of a child of course these mating strategies are not always successful so neither male nor female find the part so if neither male nor female find the partner they want they choose the one

that is available too reality is a lot harsher than an ideal partner so most of us we end up with the person we are able to get meeting practices David bus also found some other differences among the Sexes men are far more prone to Casual Sex than women are again biology dictates their behavior as women have to deal with the consequences for men there are no negative biological consequences when they have sex of course the risk of STDs is one but for women the risks are far greater including physiological emotional and sexually transmitted diseases another

reason is the size of men's testes men produce sperms on a daily BAS bases while women tend to have one egg during their monthly cycle research carried out by David Schmidt and 52 different countries found that men have far greater sex drive than women this is also because men take new biological risk in mating with a variety of women also men produce sperm every day which means they are ready all the time so to some according to David bun women look for security value such as the ability to provide protect while men value Value Beauty

and physical health the ability to have good-look and healthy children as a result men strive to gain social status and money while women try to present themselves as beautiful and Youthful possible men compete for Financial Resources while women compete with makeup and plastic surgery men show off their fast cars with big butts and women show off their big boobs and so on we are animals After All one of the biggest difference that has emerged in recent decades is the education system girls are outperforming in schools and universities once a male domain has become a female

domain why Elanor makobe born in 1917 died in 2018 was an American psychologist who wanted to find out psychological differences among men and women the Orthodox psychologist tended to mainly focus on the similarities between men and women she looked at600 studies and publ published her findings in 1974 in a book titled the psychology of sex differences despite the fact that many of these differences turned out to be superficial one major difference showed up in all the studies consistently it was that girls do better in schools and boys do worse this was particularly puzzling as the

conventional wisdom was that boys tend to prioritize achievement more than girls do the common explanation given is is that schools are based on instruction in which listening skills play a major role this favors girls more than boys because studies show that females are more agreeable this also translates into aggression as most people in prison are men so schools are Geared for girls simply because they listen better but there's another explanation that male and female brains are wired differently how do you know this the study of autism is an interesting one as it clearly shows that

that more often in boys than girls Simon Baron Cohen born in 1958 a British psychologist argues that the female brain is predominantly hardwired for empathy and male brain is hardw for understanding systems the old saying that women prioritize feelings while men prioritize logic and reasoning his 2003 research looked at autism a condition in which children find it difficult to connect with others socially and emotionally but what's surprising about autism is that it's predominantly a male condition so most of autistic children or boys during his research he found that females showed more sympathy and greater sensitivity

towards facial expressions and nonverbal cues the male brain however is more geared towards how systems work although women fall to the extremes of empathetic brains and men fall to the extremes of systematic brains there's also an overlap about 17% of males have an empathizing brain and 177% of females have a systematizing brain for Baron Coen autism is an extreme form of the male brain which lacks the ability to read other people's emotions autistic children tend to have an obsession with some kinds of system like mathematical number systems games computers etc why because these are problem

solution based when you do maths it's mostly problems that needs an answer the same is true about games and computers so Baron Cohen argues that autism is simply the extreme of male brain and some male brain is wired for things and female brain is wide for people Jordan Peterson born in 1959 the Canadian psychologist also argues that female brain is wired to understand and empathize with children as the primary caregiver of children throughout history women are hardwire to be more socially aware and read subtle emotional differences it makes sense as they have been the primary

nurturers for children for millions of years of human evolution men on the other hand are evolved as problem solvers therefore their brain is wired to seek Solutions but since males and females have coexisted for millions of years it makes sense that they also have more in common than differences the C shows men and women are more similar than different but it's the differences and extremes that exhibit a clear gender differences men are far more aggressive therefore the majority of prisons are filled with men but this aggression also helps men to rise up the career ladder

as they are more risk tolerant so most of the CEOs are also men men are biological Hardware to compete as a result of male competition throughout history the majority of men never procreated for example 8,000 years ago for every one man 17 women procreated this means that only a minority of men were successful in meeting with the majority of women this male competition is also on a biological level a woman generally produces one egg per month to be fertilized but on the male side the competition is fierce among millions of sperm chasing one egg so

males are evolutionary programmed to compete which inherently makes them more aggressive and risk-takers and socially it's males who pursue females and rarely the other way around throughout history the majority of men died in wars this mimics the sperm competition where millions of sperms compete for one egg but only one succeeds again Evolution favors that most men don't produce morality too reflects that protection of women is far more important than protection of men the media shows that there's far more moral outrage at the death of a woman than a man next time you watch the news

pay attention in times of disasters too women are evacuated first our morality reflects our biological evolution hypothetically speaking a single man can have thousands or even millions of babies but a single woman is limited to a handful of children so from an revolutionary perspective who is more valuable the old saying that Society with one man and 100 women can prosper while a society with 100 men and one woman will die so Evolution says females are far more precious and important this is why throughout history men died in battles and rarely women were sent to Wars

even today most dangerous jobs are taken by men hence 90% of work related debts occur among men today the human psyche has changed though more and more women have taken their male role of working and providing in the developed World therefore more women have chosen not to reproduce at all birth rates is its lowest in most affluent countries simply because women work long hours therefore no longer want to have babies in poor countries however the old gender roles means birth rate is still much higher than rich countries now this shift in rich countries has slowly

shifted morality too when in the future spaceship sings In Space like the Titanic sank in the Atlantic Ocean you will not hear ladies first on the life boat you might hear Mr musk and Mr Bezos first and Mr Bronson lost one of the key factors in sexual psychology has been The Narrative of feminism that men and women are the same as a result many scholars are hesitant to contact research in the field that might show otherwise Jord Peterson has come under a lot of attack from feminists for saying that men and women are different I

think the argument from a feminist side has been that by proving a sexual difference between men and women it perpetuates the oldest stereotype that only men can do certain things and vice versa however given our biological differences it takes a decade and centuries to equalize the differences but can we really fight Evolution it's a very touchy topic these days due to another development in rich countries transgenderism so the psychology of the sexist has become an ideological Battleground therefore it makes it hard to have an open and honest conversation on the left they minimize the differences

while on the right they maximize the differences between men and women but there's no doubt that most societies are changing when it comes to gender roles perhaps there's another evolutionary process today a vast number of men lack the ability to meet which is similar to to most of History only a minority of men have access to the majority of women we are animals and we are evolving so to sum up the psychology of the sexist show that our biological differences translate themselves into our psychological differences the difference is more visible in our mating strategies males

and females seek the Opposites for themselves this makes sense millions of years of evolution has created opposite sex that each sex desire it's not rocket science females value is strong masculine protectors while males seek kind nurturing mates but human civilization has tamed the world so while our psychology is stuck in the past our physical and social world is very different and very safe therefore a vast number of men feel no longer needed as protectors and providers because the police and military protect everyone and women earn their own money as a result more and more people

leave alone as marriage and child birth rates have decreased as science becomes more powerful perhaps in some distant future there is no need for meeting at all as we can procreate babies and Labs like Aldos huxley's Brave New World but until then we have to chase each other in the next segment I'll discuss the problem of psychology itself mainly the psychological Paradox of person ity as well as the problems of [Music] psychiatry