uh not to brag but i've been eating food my whole life and i thought i'd make a video going over all the types of food in the world i can think of with a brief description uh if your country isn't mentioned don't feel bad you just should have invented sushi or pizza french interestingly while highly acclaimed for their restaurants it's a well-known fact that french people themselves don't actually eat anything surviving solely on tiny cups of espresso and the feeling of superiority uh you can identify if you're eating french food when you literally can't enjoy
the meal because your brain is always doing the calculus of whether it was worth the money uh japanese i love japanese and admittedly i think sushi in particular is the perfect date food uh light delicious and i can demonstrate my high quality hunter gatherer jeans through a droid chopstick handling and being able to swallow whole nigiri with zero gag reflex another excellent japanese food is ramen which is the ultimate min max dish it's either two days of cooking chicken pork and fish and perfect balance and temperature three days making a cured egg a lifetime of
mastering the oils and toppings ratio and then pairing it with the ideal noodle texture or it's opening the package and eating the spicy brick uh mexican mexican food as it's known by us pigmentally challenged folk is when you fry anything and serve it with chipotle mayo on a flour tortilla i also know the word salsa which is the mexican word for homemade ketchup italian there are currently three known italian foods pasta pizza and gelato we hope that one day science may discover more spanish spanish food is basically the circus version of other food chorizo is
a spicy hot dog churro is a deconstructed chocolate donut sangria is party wine paella is fried rice jumbo shrimp edition and gazpacho is what the tryhard kid in your homet class comes up with when you ask for mexican ketchup greek when i think of greek food i think of small amounts of tasty things being baked in thin pastry and then cut into geometric shapes hispanic pita bugatta a bunch of things they can't pronounce and baklava which are tasty honey nut diamonds and you might be thinking um excuse me baklava is actually turkish but that doesn't
fit the thin pastry narrative so here we are american american food is often known in the united states as food and it's characterized by extremely large portion sizes both in the food you're being served and in the guy barbecuing it all american food is designed to be eaten with two hands but real patriots do it with one hot dog hamburger rack of ribs crawfish broil blt turkey leg lobster po boy chicken wings philly cheesesteak chicago deep dish if a nice black lady calls you sweetie and you're suddenly wearing crocs in a bowling shirt it's definitely
american food canadian you've heard of potatoes and gravy you've heard of cheesy potatoes but here comes the remix and that's what we've contributed in the last 150 years you're welcome ladies and gentlemen british british cuisine is modeled after the food your eight-year-old nephew comes up with when he asks if he can cook you dinner black pudding beans on toast toast sandwich toad in the hole mushy peas jelly deals peanut butter and jelly sandwich but he ran out of bread and used clotted cream instead of peanut butter luckily for my nephew it was a member of
the commonwealth you know i'd do anything for the queen german one of my favorite german foods is a good old lager beer which they serve in great excess at oktoberfest a famous festival that germany holds every you guessed it september other classic german foods involve taking delicious classics and making them a weird shape take for example wide chicken beef rollington and of course twisty bagel chinese chinese food actually has no proper name in english and can only be communicated through the number next to it on the menu thankfully chinese food has thrived in western countries
despite everyone thinking it was bad to eat msg and raw pangolin for literally no reason indian indian cuisine is rich in heritage and incredibly diverse most indian restaurants have such expansive menus it can take minutes to find and order the butter chicken another indian staple is naan or what westerners call puffy tortilla to be honest i don't actually know the difference middle eastern uh when i think of middle eastern food i think of shawarma which i do often because there are literally no kebab places in my whole city for those unfamiliar kebab is the international
cuisine of it's 3am and the clubs are closed well i'm not sure how authentic it is when the guy puts french fries in it you know i'm not complaining there's also other great middle eastern bangers like tzatziki and hummus they're also best eaten drunk and alone with a spoon now you might be saying excuse me taziki is actually greek well okay buddy if you think you can claim this one too then your ego's more inflated than turkey's currency so quit bickering or else no one gets tzatziki scandinavian nordic uh frankly the only scandinavian restaurant i've
ever heard of is ikea and while the swedish meatballs are pretty good i'm also not so sure about the authenticity because like if you look at the recipe it says beef pork bread crumbs couple egg yolks and you're like that sounds like a regular meatball so after that i was like okay so what is scandinavian food so i looked it up and i got steak and mushrooms pancakes and that was pretty sus so i decided to really go in and then i found stuff like ragmonk and domboroda which like i'm not gonna lie i'd need
a hot dog in any form but if you guys want to go international you might want to consider some rebranding like just imagining like at the united nations meeting it's lunchtime and the italian guy takes out a slice of pizza the german guy takes out a beer and a pretzel and then the swedish guy takes out his lunch bag and thinks to himself they're going to be so jealous [Laughter] and uh eastern european when i think of eastern european cuisine i think of three words babushka potatoes and poverty and as someone with irish ancestry that
definitely comes off as a hard flex thankfully instead of grandmas and potatoes at least i get capitalism and cultural appropriation exactly how i like it australian australian cuisine is the most white bread food in the world breakfast vegemite on white bread lunch sausage on white bread dinner meat pie dessert hundreds and thousands on white bread they do admittedly have absolutely fantastic fish and chips because they can walk 100 meters to the beach scoop dory up from the barrier reef and flash fire right in front of her family that's already forgotten about her i also give
a shout out to pavlova which might possibly be from new zealand but my mom makes it and she likes it when i put her in the videos vietnamese vietnamese food can be identified by the restaurant being named after some type of pun involving the word foe fo sure foe ever fo true foe you etc but in reality the word is actually pronounced fa as in guys i waited four years for that one sorry latin american latin american food is great because so much of it is fried empanada fried hot pocket plantains no you fool it's
not a banana it's a potato in disguise and you fry this bad boy twice regular banana also fried besides that the only other latin american food i know is ayahuasca i know about ayahuasca for two reasons a i live on the west coast and b i've listened to joe rogan and my name is jamie african food korean food the most well-known korean foods are kimchi and korean barbecue korean bbq is usually a buffet style restaurant where you get to cook everything yourself on a little tabletop barbecue while kimchi is the name i call the chairman
of north korea when i pinch his fat little jeeps now at this point you're probably saying oh no there's 30 seconds of the video left and he hasn't said in my country but unfortunately this isn't the local weather report birthday shout out so i can't get everyone if it makes you feel any better you can scroll down and read all the comments that are like that video was funny and accurate whatever that one part you said about my country was completely wrong and now i'm angry and to them i say quit bickering or no one
gets to seeky oh my god i forgot ty i forgot every country that jimmy's from oh i also brought native american oh no that's not our country we took it
