I am about to explain the simple three-step process that you are going to use based on Research in order to break the Vicious Cycle of procrastination and to take back your time and your life I mean this is big stuff and I'm going to warn you like a lot of things that I share at first glance it might sound kind of stupid this one might even sound a little smarmy but this is all research based and in fact I have a copy of the five second rule book right here with me I'm on page 145
which is where chapter 11 begins which is all about the science of procrastination um Step number one to Breaking this cycle when you catch yourself procrastinating forgive yourself step one the next time you catch yourself procrastinating Step One is forgive yourself and there's a really profound reason why procrastination is not about laziness it's not about a lack of discipline it's not something you do because you're dumb procrastination is a coping mechanism you just have a desire to feel good right now and you deserve that you have a desire to lessen the stress in your life
and you deserve to lessen the stress in your life I get it and this first step to forgive yourself this comes from research from Dr pikel by the way he has been studying procrastination for two decades may just imagine that studying procrastination for two that that is a dedicated person right there and we thank you for your service to all of us his research found that people who forgive themselves are less likely to procrastinate again in fact there was a study that he did I want to turn to the page I got the book right
here he co-authored a paper about how students who forgave themselves for procrastinating were less likely to procrastinate on their next test it sounds silly but part of the problem that psychologists have uncovered is that when you're somebody that procrastinates you're really hard on yourselves to begin with in fact being hard on yourself is one of the major causes of why you're so damn stressed and so taking a moment and forgiving yourself and you've got to actually have a talk with yourself where you are sitting there like oh my God two hours just went by wow
I must be really stressed out I forgive myself for just blowing off two hours on social media and you know what I can spend the next hour setting my day up tomorrow for success or maybe you see all your bills and you realize you haven't opened those suckers in two months just go wow I haven't opened my bills in two months I must be really nervous about this I forgive myself for not doing that and you know what I'm gonna do I'm I'm gonna just do the best that I can I'm going to face this
head-on because the next step that you're going to take once you forgive yourself you got to recognize that you're doing it why because patterns and habits repeat unless you replace them and so noticing that it's a pattern catching yourself forgiving yourself that is a way we're going to break this pattern because the step two based on Research you must identify what you're stressed about so let's go back to the example of seeing bills piling up or uh getting the second notification that you didn't pay that parking ticket because you procrastinated and now you missed the
deadline and now it's twice as expensive whoa I really blew that off I forgive myself what am I stressed about I'm really stressed about senior year of college ending I'm really stressed about this presentation that's coming up I'm really stressed that I'm behind on my sales quota I'm really stressed that my spouse and I haven't really talked for the last couple days and they're really mad at me I'm really stressed about getting these test results back from my dad worried about him when you identify what you're actually stressed about it loosens its grip on you
it comes out of hiding and see I think that stress backpack is an important analogy or metaphor that you can visualize it's behind you so you're not like thinking about it when you identify what it is you bring it right in front of your face and because you're now identifying the source of the stress it loosens its grip and now what you're going to do is you're going to ask yourself well what would the future me want to do right now vidi the artist in you that has already finished her portfolio what does she want
you to do right now you've forgiven yourself you've acknowledged what's stressing you out which is the Relentless pursuit of perfection what is the future you want you to do or Mel you know you're zipping up your pants and that bread basket is in there and you know you forgive yourself for blowing this off for so long and you acknowledge the stress that you feel because you are getting older and this makes you feel like you're not in control of what's going on what would the future Mel that had gone to see the doctor and has
got this in placement what would she want you to do right now and so that's what you're going to ask yourself what is the future you want you to do right now and it might just be the future you being the person that's waking up tomorrow morning if you're sitting on the couch two glasses of wine in and you realize you've procrastinated for the last five hours and you've acknowledged it you've forgiven yourself for doing it you've acknowledged the stress that you feel because you know you are in a fight with a friend or a
boyfriend or whatever what is the you that's going to wake up tomorrow morning want you to do right now I'll tell you what that you wants you to do they want you to get off the couch they want you to pack lunch for tomorrow they want you to brush your teeth and turn off the TV and the phone and read 10 pages of non-fiction and get a good night's sleep that's what the future you wants you to do the future you does not want you to slip back into that vicious cycle and spend another three
hours watching cat videos and memes and Tick Tock videos which we both know is exactly what you would do if you didn't break the cycle by forgiving yourself for doing it for three hours acknowledging what you're stressed about and then deciding what the future you wants you to do instead and then finally use the five second rule why this is not just listening time people this is doing time we always say that about the Mel Robbins podcast use the five second rule it's one of the most effective science-backed starting rituals on the planet for creating
a new habit or pattern and all you're going to do is you're just going to start because after you've forgiven yourself and you validated what's stressing you out and you've tapped into the future you who is kicking ass and taking names and needs you right now I just want you to start for one minute so vidi when you sit down tomorrow morning and that self-doubt is there and that procrastination kicks in no problem use the steps and then 54321 start drawing for one minute and here's what we know based on the research once you make
that first cold call you're likely to keep going once you start writing that first sentence on this chapter you're going to keep writing once you hit record on that video on the video you're going to keep going once you fill out the first name last name line on the application you need to fill out you're going to keep going once you pull up your resume template and you start writing you're gonna keep going because the problem isn't your ability to do what you need to do the problem is you've been trapped in this stress and
Trauma and nervous system triggered vicious procrastination cycle and look I know this sounds like really come on I I was listening to this because I want to be more productive I want to make more money I want to get more [ __ ] done I want to have more life balance now you're telling me productivity it's about forgiving myself it's about calling forth the future me why would I want to try that well let's hear a word from our sponsors and when we come back I will tell you why YouTube you enjoying this great we
make these videos for you you're watching the Mel Robbins podcast and I want to make sure you've subscribed to YouTube and I also want to make sure please support this show if you're enjoying this if you're loving this share these episodes I know you got people in your life that are struggling with this so please share this episode please subscribe to this Channel all of that helps us grow and that helps us continue to bring this to you for zero cost and you know I want to do that for you back to the show so
why would you want to try that let me tell you why because procrastination is a habit and this habit becomes a very vicious cycle and that's exactly where vidi is trapped so let me let her tell you what it feels like when you don't nip this in the bud when the Vicious Cycle of procrastinating on her art and her work is now creeping into other areas of your life the worst part of all of this whatever this is so self-out or wanting to be perfect whatever this is the worst part is that this doubts this
fear is slowly seeping into all areas of my life I know this is affecting all my all the relationships in my life and I am just worried that this will take over and and destroy everything I love so I think the question is rather how can I relearn to believe in myself how can I we learn to believe that I deserve all the good things that come my way and that I am good enough how can I learn that very I love that I love that you reframe the question because that is what this is
about see I told you procrastination was not about productivity and I also told you that the thing that triggers it was going to surprise you and that's why this topic is so important I say every day that it is never too late to wake up and be the person you want to be and you deserve that and here's the truth on how you do that you have to act like you believe in yourself before you believe in yourself I'm gonna say that again you want to learn how to stop doubting yourself you want to learn
how to believe in yourself again you want to learn how to not be so afraid or full of Doubt or full of perfectionism which by the way is something you learned in order to cope with crap that was going on in childhood perfectionism everybody is what you do in order to protect yourself from rejection there's a huge huge connection between your desire to be perfect procrastinating and the fear of rejection and so using these tools you not only are going to break the pattern of procrastination you have a road map for the actions that take
you to the Future you because again you have to act like you believe in yourself before you do believe in yourself so let me just make this super super detailed for you vidi when you wake up tomorrow morning and you sit down in that chair and you walk through these simple steps that I have just taught you based on the research when you start drawing you are acting like you believe in yourself and notice you started drawing before you did believe in yourself that's why this is so powerful when you see yourself acknowledging that you're
procrastinating and labeling the stress and forgiving yourself for getting triggered by it and then 54321 doing it anyway because you're the kind of person that picks up the phone or picks up the pen or walks out the door or says that thing or does that thing and you keep doing that consistently you know what's going to happen you're not only going to get the results that you want you're going to believe in yourself because you're going to see yourself doing the work to get the results that you want it begins with the action and that's
why I say the Mel Robbins podcast is not a listening podcast it's a doing podcast it's in the doing that you become someone new you cannot wait to feel ready you cannot wait to feel motivated you cannot wait for procrastination to disappear it doesn't work that way you gotta act before you feel ready you gotta act like you believe before you do and that's why this topic is so important it's why I believe this will be probably one of our most shared episodes because everybody struggles with this whether you have kids in college or High
School share this episode with them if there's somebody that you wish would change this episode will be very eye-opening if you have somebody in your life maybe it's you or maybe it's somebody that you care deeply about that has huge potential and you're like why won't they just start doing that thing why are they not writing their music why are they not starting their Channel why are they not applying to nursing school why don't they believe in them so why don't they just do that thing I'll tell you why they're stuck in a vicious cycle
and now you understand it so send this episode to them so they can understand it too and tell them it's a message from their future this is a topic that I have a lot of experience with we're talking about none other than procrastination the reason why you struggle with procrastination is because you're thinking about procrastination wrong how am I feeling right now what is truly stressing me out if you want to stop procrastinating you have to understand
