Bird in Hand | A Queer Mystery about a Compulsive Thief

[Music] thank you actually just pause for a second [Music] [Music] I could turn on some music if you want what kind of music Daniel hello hello [Music] am I dead yes am I a woman no no no oh why you gonna make me a man okay okay am I alive yeah am I am I Angel Olsen how did you know you have to be kidding well we were just talking about her I'm just glad you got it so fast because yeah no come on Daniel yeah Phil Daniel Culver they're still together you ever met him

okay sorry I'm so weird what were you up to uh just some errands what's up with you Elvis come on okay now you ruined it sorry I don't think you met Riley hi I'm Daniel nice to meet you you too I'm only doing well in our careers and our lives and stuff I still can't afford the townhouse I want on West 4th Street but we're getting there thanks again oh [Music] have a good night guys love you guys bye [Music] isn't it cute out here oh yeah so is that a bird in your pocket or

are you just happy to see me how did you know that I saw it when you got here what is that a quail what's the deal with it um I took it what do you mean you stole it I did from where your grandma's house no from a boy did he break your heart or something no it was a one-time thing then why'd you take it have you ever done it what stole anything no come on really no candy not a pen a glass from a restaurant no I I've I've got nothing well I guess

that I'm just the fool with the quail in his pants and you don't think he's uh he's gonna miss his little bird I'm sure he can manage I don't mean to um I I actually have a boyfriend I'm sorry oh uh well are you guys looking for no no gotcha uh well I should get going the night's still young maybe another time nice meeting you Daniel yeah another time foreign [Music] yeah you know you know his songs Jessie's Girl Don't Talk to Strangers uh yeah maybe my mom loved him and she would have loved you

too because I'd remind her of Rick Springfield no just because I know I know I wish I could have met her met her do you want to go to the East Village tonight maybe see some live music or something I don't know why not it would be fun I heard all the time like oh man leave anywhere come on I need my sleep foreign [Music] yeah maybe [Music] I love you old man come on I'm kind of surprised I'm hearing from you I got your number from McKenzie I actually wanted to apologize what for I

wasn't entirely honest last night oh yeah yeah I stole some nail polish one time tell me more okay well it was a beautiful color it was like a lavender or maybe I think it was Periwinkle actually but he was just sitting on the shelf it felt wrong to have to pay for it no one was gonna miss it it's probably just gonna sit there and dry up and go bad and I would hate to see something like that go to waste you know yeah I know that poor nail polish you really rescued it huh I

know what are you doing tonight [Music] thank you nice place does your boyfriend know you're here hey I know this guy so are these all oh you've done it a few times I've done it a few times so is it is it sexual is it like a a power thing do you come home and jerk off to this stuff no it's not like that it's just um the sex is never that good right it gets old and this doesn't well sometimes the sex is great sometimes it is like when it's with somebody you love yeah

maybe but after a while you gotta find ways to keep it entertaining you know find something new like cheating or stealing people's [ __ ] take your shirt off your pants you're gonna take off your shirt no take off your pants like this happy now no do you remember like a year and a half ago this one date you went on what it was with a guy who looks like me a lot like me but his hair was a little longer then it was more to the side what does this have to do with us

anyway you stole this necklace from him and he'd never thought that he would get it back why didn't you say something I recognized you the second you walked in last night and I thought maybe you were pretending not to know me I wish I could have just played along cool just take the necklace it's not a big [ __ ] day it is okay it is a big deal you can't just take people's stuff a [ __ ] or did you come here to make me feel better you know after that night after you ghosted

me and I realized you must have taken this I try to be better guys who aren't you and then I met Colin and I'm actually happy now so I almost feel like I need to thank you but this was also my mom's so [ __ ] you for taking it you gotta go oh foreign [Music] I got you alone last night and you still didn't say anything and that's when I realized you haven't changed at all it wasn't an act [Music] that's just who you are [Music] and you couldn't even recognize me with a haircut

you're lucky I'm being so nice about this have a good night thank you [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] foreign