[Music] hey everyone welcome back to another episode of podcast and chill our beloved listeners I'm your host Leo the guy who can teach you something while making you laugh and I'm Gwen your informative host here to help you get useful information and yeah don't forget to focus on our sharings not just your jokes Leo got it got it just ask our listeners I always share useful tips right okay I trust you yeah I won't make you feel disappointed no need to be that serious making others feel disappointed is not a big deal oh you're absolutely
right it's also the topic we will share today dear our listeners you can pause the video close your eyes and answer the following questions do you think negative thinking is good or bad do you feel bad when you are disappointed in yourself and do you want to overcome that feeling can I answer these questions oh Leo that's for our listeners anyway fine I believe our beloved listeners also want to hear your answers before being happy like I am now I always worried about saying something people wouldn't like and because of that I also ended up
disappointing myself and now I've overcome that feeling so I'm really excited to share with my audience I understand you Leo dear listeners if you've ever had a feeling like Leo being sad because things didn't go as planned or because you don't meet people's needs this episode is for you today we're talking about something that many people feel but don't talk about much being disappointed in yourself that's right disappointment can feel overwhelming but the good news is it's something we can work through together we've prepared a special free PDF for this episode full of useful phrases
for your learning don't forget to check it out let's [Music] start first let's talk about why it's completely fine to feel disappointed have you ever noticed how fast we tend to judge ourselves when we experience negative emotions we often think things like I shouldn't feel this way or there must be something wrong with me but the truth is feeling disappointed is a normal part of Being Human exactly in fact research from the University of California shows that almost 70% of people regularly experience self-doubt it's a normal part of life instead of trying to push these
feelings away the key is to accept them and remind ourselves that it's okay to feel the way we do Leo can you take an example for listeners to understand sure let let's say you applied for a job but didn't get it it's totally natural to feel disappointed instead of thinking I'm such a failure try telling yourself it's okay to feel sad about this I put in the effort and it's normal to feel upset let's practice that phrase together repeat after me it's okay to feel this way I'm allowed to feel disappointed great remember feelings aren't
good or bad they just are what matters is how we respond to them now that we've accepted how we feel let's go a bit deeper ask yourself why am I feeling disappointed understanding the real reason behind our feelings can make a big difference that's really important disappointment often comes from things like setting goals that are too high comparing ourselves to others or being afraid of failing when we figure out what's really causing the disappointment we can start to work on it for example let's say you worked hard on a presentation but it didn't go as
well as you hoped instead of saying I'm terrible at this ask yourself what could I have done differently did I practice enough or was I too nervous writing things down can help too Dr James pennebaker a psychologist at the University of Texas suggests that journaling about your feelings can help you process them better try this take a notebook and write down what am I feeling right now and why let's try writing it is good for a lot of issues in our life so that's how you help yourself get over your disappointment it doesn't help at
all hey just joking I mean it doesn't help at all if you just write without thinking about yourself you're free to write anything as long as it's related to you it could be about study or work problems or some mental problems that we might face I agree it takes time to reflect it means to think about things you have done but you know it's really worth it the more we understand our emotions the better control we have over them can I ask you a question Gwen yeah why not have you ever set a goal for
yourself and when you didn't achieve it exactly how you wanted you felt like quitting oh I've been there many times when I don't get into the school I want or I keep looking but never get called in for an interview that's when I feel the most frustrated trying to be perfect can really trap us Dr tal Ben Shahar a professor at Harvard who teaches about happiness says that trying to be perfect only causes stress and frustration instead of aiming for Perfection he recommends aiming for good enough what matters more is making progress than being perfect
but don't get me wrong what I mean is not about just being enough not wanting to develop more it's about trying with a suitable goal think about how a baby learns to walk they stumble fall and get back up right we don't expect them to walk perfectly right away do we so why do we expect ourselves to be perfect all the time remember it's all about progress not Perfection every step forward even if it's small is what helps us improve and grow letting go of perfection gives us the freedom to keep going no matter what
let's take a break and learn some new phrases today you can take your own example on each phrase to understand it more push something away definition try to avoid or ignore something example it's not healthy to push your feelings away when you feel sad face the problem definition to directly deal with a situation or issue example instead of avoiding the problem face it and try to solve it figure out definition to understand or solve something example we need to figure out why the project is not going well aim for definition trying to achieve or reach
something example she's aiming for a promotion at work by improving her skills make progress definition to move forward or improve in something example he made progress in his English speaking skills after a few lessons now practice with some questions below to see how well you understand the topic type your answer in the comment section to discuss with other listeners what's a better way to deal with disappointment accept the feeling and remind yourself that it's okay to feel that way how can writing things down help you deal with your emotions writing things down helps you process
and understand your feelings now we will learn more ways to have a positive thinking let's shift gears and talk about something positive celebrating small wins when was the last time you praised yourself for even a little achievement it could be something simple but it still counts that's such an important point so often we Overlook our small successes and only focus on big achievements the truth is even small wins can actually boost our motivation and happiness it's a great way to remind yourself that you're moving forward even if doesn't always feel like it every small win
is proof that you're on the right track absolutely for example maybe you learned five new words in English today that's a win it doesn't matter how small it seems it's progress or perhaps you completed a task at work that had been on your to-do list for days maybe you helped a friend with something or even just took time for yourself to relax and recharge these moments matter they're part of your journey and they deserve recogn nition imagine this you've just made a mistake and the first thought that pops into your head is well that's it
I'll never recover from this sound familiar it's easy to feel that way but here's a secret mistakes aren't the end they're just the beginning of a new lesson I read about Sarah Blakeley who started Spanx with no money and little business experience she made many mistakes like struggling with manufacturers and marketing but instead of giving up she learned from each mistake and became a self-made billionaire I can relate to that a while ago I tried learning how to play the guitar my first few attempts were terrible I couldn't even play a simple song but instead
of getting discouraged I practiced every day learned from my mistakes and now I can play a few songs pretty well I'm still not perfect but I'm much better than before well mistakes are like stepping stones that lead you to improve movement now let's talk about something really important being kind to yourself This is called self-compassion think of it as treating yourself the way you would treat a close friend when they're feeling down yeah Dr Kristen nef who researches self-compassion explains that we need to be gentle with ourselves especially in tough moments it's easy to be
kind to others but we often forget to treat ourselves with that same care think about this if a friend came to you feeling down because of a mistake you wouldn't say you're awful at this you'd say something like it's okay everyone makes mistakes you're doing your best let's try that together next time you feel down say to yourself I'm doing my best and that's enough ready let's repeat it well done being kind to yourself doesn't just lift your mood it also gives you the strength to try again and keep going last but not least we'll
talk about finding motivation after feeling disappointed it can be hard to start again you can also talk to a friend or someone you trust sharing your feelings can help you feel lighter and more hopeful great remember every step forward no matter how small brings you closer to your goal we will learn the last five phrases for today make sure to practice speaking all of them stepping stone definition a step towards progress example each project is a stepping stone in your career lift someone's mood definition make someone feel happier example a compliment can lift your mood
instantly step forward definition reach towards a goal example completing the task was a step forward pop into someone's head definition suddenly thinking of something example an idea popped into my head while reading feel down definition feeling sad example a kind word can help when you're feeling down let's wrap this episode by answering the questions below just share your thoughts with us in the comment section what does celebrating small winds mean it means apprecia small achievements like learning a new word or finishing a small task recognizing these helps boost motivation and happiness why is talking to
a friend helpful it helps you feel better think clearly and can motivate you to move forward we talked about disappointment and how to deal with it we learned that it's normal to feel this way but we don't have to stay stuck that's right by understanding your feelings letting go of perfection celebrating your small wins and being kind to yourself you can turn disappointment into growth thank you for joining us today you're doing amazing and we're proud of you for Learning and trying your best see you next time goodbye [Music]
