the main thing that I struggled with at the time with your ADHD was your mood swings what was they like if you're in a room people know about it loud you're quite loud but in a Midway so when you're up everyone is up when you're down everyone's down yeah no I hate that in studio sessions and stuff that would be quite difficult hello my name is Harley SU I am a musician and a writer and I'm one half of rizle kicks I'm a very good friend of Jordan's and we're here to talk to him about
his ADHD hello okay yes wonderful wonderful you look nice oh thanks said that yet really so I've brought you here because I've been speaking to people about their experiences of ADHD everyone's at different stages they different ages the way ADHD has overlapped their life varies so some people have had ADHD Shar with forms of addiction some people have had ADHD a diagnosis helped them work around anxiety be more productive with their work you know there'll be people who have had uh overlapping of ADHD and autism those all these variations but we wanted to find somebody
in my life close to me to I guess give reflections of What You observe of ADHD it's interesting for me like I keep coming like more and more people in my life have ADHD but I guess you're kind of like the the Pinnacle of all that and like it's been been amazing like watching you grow through your different stages of ADHD I think me as well like watching myself learn how to like kind of not handle it but like address it in certain situations now I understand it better there's not many parts of it where
I see it that negatively affect you or me or our relationship which is amazing thing I think you've done really well to work through a lot of stuff there's never been a world where I didn't know that Jordan had ADHD did we know what ADHD was though I think the the the the difference is is that when we were 18 yeah we just thought ADHD was like you're just hyper yes that's so true I probably would get annoyed at you for taking so long to leave the house yeah or I'd get annoyed at you for
not responding the main thing that I could remember that I really struggled with at the time with your ADHD was your mood swings what was it like because you're a big character anyway and you're good at kind of like controlling rooms and like being kind of not like the center of the attention but if you're in a room people know about basically loud you're quite loud but in a but in in a good way you know so when you're up everyone is up when you're down everyone's down yeah no I hate that and I remember
being like in studio sessions and stuff that would be quite difficult cuz I'm like managing a situation within itself where I'm like what vibe is Jordan on right now how long do I have before he goes into like a down period or how long do I have him in this up period for and I remember that was quite a tricky one you a lot younger you were like 20 you know but you were like quite sensitive in those moments and it was Finding ways of like finding comfortability in those silences I'd go quiet you'd go
really quiet yeah yeah go super quiet and it it was it was a combination of like maybe you're like really hyper focusing on something or you'd had like loads of sugar so you're just like crashing hard but like the hyperfocusing thing is like when you would catch on to something negative in your life that was when it was quite difficult because it was like that was 5 hours of the day done I actually remember the first time I ever experienced the mood swing thing and it Baff me hard cuz like I'd only ever known you
to be like Super Hyper talkative chatty we were still living in Brighton at the time so we must have been 16 17 and we got a session in London with some producer and I was like I remember being so excited to go to this session and then like we like didn't speak all day and I was just like I remember going back to my girlfriend at the time being like I don't know what's happened but like I don't if Jordan is like on this music thing with me anymore or I don't think he's like in
a good place I don't know but I remember experiencing it and being like baed and then like slowly but surely learning okay this is what's going on it's when I saw it around like other people or if other people were in our space and then it would happen I'd be like all right it's not like a a thing against me if that is an ADHD thing that's one thing that I feel most burdened by for sure like I hate the fact that I I'd bring the a mood down around me and there's been times where
that's really sucked because I need to have people around me who can pull me back up you know what I mean but like now like I don't that's not I don't see that anymore the mood swings don't happen anymore and I don't know what changed that like do you know what in you ch do you feel like that's changed it's weird thinking back to being 20 or that early stage cuz I can't really remember anything in my body from that time I can't remember like being in my body but I can remember choices like when
you talk about sugar I think like yeah when we first got signed we both would just eat what we wanted so we'd like go to the studio and I'd have like a fat bottle of like energy drink and I love chocolate bars and we' be having chocolate bars and all that kind of stuff and you know I'd that that up that up that up that up and then I do remember yeah having like these kind of cataclysmic but as I've got older I've made some quite obvious changes in my life which 10 years later 12
years later or or and everything in between I guess it's had some positive effect and those changes would be I've gone sober I've been sober six years a big reason why I went sober was aside of the fact that it kept you know ruining most of my Intimate Relationships if I was getting drunk too much I find it really difficult to regulate myself in the days after being drunk and all the stuff I've found out since you know in terms of how long the body takes to balance itself out I mean you've had your experiences
of that with anxiety so it's just it's the inflammation of brain discomfort in the wake of of drinking I wanted to get rid of that you know healthy relationship with exercise and then like you say with sugar like yeah listen I eat sugar I still but my I'm definitely a healthy person and then other little things like having dogs the fact that I'm if I have them morning free I'm almost certainly walking m for a minimum half an hour every morning that I think is one of those secret ones sneaky ones where it seems normal
oh you have a dog you can take them on a walk and I'm like n mate like there are doctors out there now for things like depression or other things that people report where they'll go yeah go for a walk and they'll be like you mean go for a walk it's like yeah it is gamechanging sometimes I won't have the dogs I'll be like away and I'll think why am I off and I feel like you know what I'm just going to walk I would need the dogs just go for a walk in the morning
half an hour clear the head yeah so I guess I have a responsibility to myself and the people around me to my community I don't think everyone does to look at my own patterns of behavior and ask myself if I'm happy with all of those patterns and obviously with something like drinking it was clearcut if I keep acting like this then I have to change something so attempting to make choices before that will help me be more balanced for example big thing for me is hiding cleaning cleaning which is hilarious with us because you have
suspected OCD which is almost antithesis of yeah literally a little bit yeah so that's a big thing for me and I started looking it up why am I struggling with this how do I work around it and when I literally saw these you know qualified professionals explain what what was the struggle was I'm seeing that same stress level or that those same patterns with other people you know mess becoming invisible the other day I saw another guy invisible mess thing is mad but OPP it yeah I know I do you only see mess all I
can see all I can see imagine how tough that is to to explain to Someone Like You like you'll know in a certain amount of time that's going to get worse so I'm going to do it now we'll be like no we'll let that get to a maximum wildness and then we we sort it and is that because you want to do something else yeah it's to do like the reward center of the brain like for me I can exist in mess and Chaos because I would prefer to like write something or watch something and
I feel like I'm building that part of me that I've literally prioritized cre over over tidiness whereas loads of people say I can't create unless it's tidy first I have to clear up so then I can be creative that's me 100% if I go to someone's house and the house is messy I don't care I couldn't care less I wouldn't go into someone's house and start judging them based on how messy it was I really would not I'll would judge them based on whether or not they made me a cup of tea and ask me
philosophical questions I don't want to judge anyone I hate that thought but if I go into someone's house that where it's messy you want to clean it bro I've done it recently I took took my bins out the other day is this someone who us to supect to have ADHD or is it someone they have ADHD they do well they they've told me they have ADHD yeah so I get it I I I understand and like his his explanation of why he leaves it there made now I understand it better made so much sense to
me yeah so like me taking out the bins it wasn't me being like oh this is disgusting this was me going I understand your predicament right now will it make your life a bit easier if I just do this for you right now and it was just like oh yeah that'd be great right so that's something that I feel like I've I've gotten better at is understanding those quirks you know and understanding like when to react to certain things I wanted to like talk a bit more about like how we work in the studio now
okay we're so productive these days are we yeah bro I thought we used to be more productive nah this is where you're in your head about it I think like now you hyperfocus on the right things okay that's the best way I can maybe describe it I think back in the day this is definitely something that switched is like we do a song for a long time which would be great in some respects and we get a song done or whatever but it would mean that we'd spend a long time on one thing now it's
like let's get the idea down let's go and I think that's a massive benefit and it was really noticeable when there was one period of our writing process where we were doing a lot of like finishing songs and like going from like one thing to the next to the next and coming back and finishing it and I think like that's made us so much more more productive in the studio and it's like I'm feeding off of that I think a lot of people just like I want to finish this song we all just like we've
got that that's not going let's go let's move on to another thing oh cool and I think that's really great because like you're right that that song will exist now yeah and we can go back to it and finish it but we may never get a chance to create something else this this thing that we're about to create we may never get that opportunity again do you know what i is interesting as well is that you seem a lot more calm these days as well do you feel more calm yeah 100% I feel more calm
what a thousand gazillion million percent I feel more calm one of the things I've had recently is that as I said g day I've kind of been playing with like a very diluted version of my medication recently because of all the things I think I've got better at so communication I think I'm I mean actually I really struggle to keep up with messages but I try and reply straight away as much as possible probably more balanced in the studio I do clean now like I just have to do certain things to make that whole process
easier for me I think I'm slightly more punchable like I do I am late but I was going to say that yeah yeah I think that's a big thing that's changed I have to basically tell myself it's an hour before what it is yeah often times I won't if I'm if I'm running late I won't tell you yeah that's the killer if someone says I'm running late and I haveu I'm 2 hours late for that messes everything because I need to be on that on that wave that's actually such a good point like often time
you're actually there before me these days yeah because if I ride the first wave yeah then I'm like there yeah but like the first wave seems early if something breaks my attention in that early phase then who knows how long it will take me to get there it's CRA I've seen you do circles well when in my house trying to leave yeah when we like live it stresses me out even thinking about we used to live together and it would be like one room to the other room to the other room to the other room
and it's like our people outside being like yo we got to go like now and you're like yeah but I need to do these things I can't I still do that do you I still do that but it probably doesn't last as long I do actually think that being heartbroken helped a lot I feel like I came out of the other side of heartbreak and was like like I felt like I was living from the neck up for a long time in my in my life and I would constantly be that's why I mean when
I think about myself in the past in my early 20s for me it feels like there's a disconnect whereas now I'm more aware of like how a potential situation can alter my my body so I'll know if I'm getting riled up about something or I'll have an awareness creep in where I think oh maybe um maybe this is too intense or maybe I can step back for a second I think that's should probably just experience you know but that also lines up with being sober as well yeah and just like if I'm making choices healthy
choices well I know that's subjective but reasonably healthy choices for a long period of time I think the way My Body Works will be some something more towards harmonious you know also being committed to a relationship and and having that security of that person around me is incredibly calming I don't know what the research is around ADHD and love and whatever else but my God you know and and my girlfriend doesn't have ADHD so I'm picking up from her what I can that will help me and then there'll be some elements of my ADHD that
probably really motivating well that's what I always say to people is like as much cuz we're literally like the anti of each other in terms of our outward appearance in that in that sense but there's times when I need to come out of my shell and I think I think a lot of people will always say like oh it's so good that Jordan has you around because you're able to like bring him down or whatever which is great but I don't think anyone ever considers like oh maybe sometimes I need to be brought up yeah
do you know what I mean and I think that's really important as well because like you know with my anxiety and stuff like I often struggle to like come out of my shell in certain social situations but like even if you like intentionally are acting on it your kind of energy brings me up and that's amazing because which I love yeah it does it really does I actually really wanted to ask you this because I don't think I've asked you this personally before but it's come up when we've discussed rizle kits coming back because the
public understanding of the reason why we stopped like the most practical reason was because you suffered from quite severe stage anxiety and we canceled a tour and we were like you know we're not doing this and a lot of the time it crops up people go well you were touring for four or 5 years why was it then that Harley suddenly got the sage anxiety and I've always said well in those early years surely on paper if you had a crippling anxiety the plaster the ultimate plaster would be some hyperactive person running around in front
of you because it's distracting you from what's going on in yourself so I get to finally ask you yeah was my hyperactivity and kind of completely off the rails energy approach to life actually delaying an inevitable Rel you might like you could be completely right yeah because like I remember even like when we were on stage and stuff like as much as I I get involved like you were really good at just like chatting on the spot talk to the crowd like whatever but then there were times where I don't know you'd go off stage
like change your T-shirt cuz you got sweaty or something and I'd be like yeah like what the hell do I say right now don't get me wrong I didn't feel like nervous necessarily but I was just like stumped and I think like that was the first time I ever experienced like stage anxiety was without you and when I was performing with this other project I did and all of a sudden the whole room was looking at me yeah it's an interesting thought to think whether that was developed because I was spending so much time with
you or if that was if that was always there prior to that because I think about like you know I always wanted to be an actor and I was always like good on stage I never had any kind of like issue with it then but then maybe because we spent such a long time with that kind of like dynamic in our relationship where you were kind of the more outward outspoken one and I was the more like reserved one that maybe that I be became more reliant on that to like stay grounded and stuff so
yeah I've actually never really thought about it properly I think that the potential to have a relationship with performance anxiety was always going to happen but maybe you would have been able to deal with it in like a less intense situation because you wouldn't have been a pop star maybe I a popar so I've come about and been like la la la la la and you're like okay and then like your first meeting with something that was always there it's like the whole industry waiting to see you perform yeah and you're like oh what the
this is wild you know whereas me on the flip side you know I was kicked on stage by my mom when I was like seven so I don't know what that my my thing is I overcompensate for my my fear it's a really interesting thought and like but what comforts me now is that like when we do start really making music again I don't have to fully rely on myself to like overcome certain anxieties and whatnot like somethingone like this even doing this today yeah 3 four years ago I would have tried like find a
way out of it I remember if ID accepted it I would have just been like terrified I'd get here i' be sitting here like shaking I remember I remember now I didn't even think about this until I arrived you know what I mean which maybe sounds like flippant or a bit rude but like that's for me such a big huge thing because to to to have a situation where I'm put under the spotlight essentially and not make it seem like some Grand thing is is really like such big progression I think that has happened massively
in Coalition with us working together again properly like making music again and spending so much time together yeah two a thing that it it's not like uh there are many situations where your grounded approach to to to to life is is is sobering and and and essential for me so so that's a two-way thing for sure just to wrap it up because we obviously could talk for a long time but I'm actually late for an ADHD appointment that's jokes do you feel as though your relationship with me has has given you more of an insight
and a deeper empathy for people who might be struggling with ADHD and and do you think that life can be easier if people feel are more informed about it I mean the the first thing is just like to try and talk to as many people as possible and just let them know that like ADHD isn't just someone who's like really hyperactive yeah cuz that site super important which I think so many people don't understand yeah obviously working in the creative Industries I have so many people around me who have ADHD or assumed ADHD that like
they bring now just like so much like joy to my life because understand it so much more the little quirks the little things it like all the positives like way out shy in the negatives of it and like I don't even think those like negatives are necessarily bad they're just like the things that people don't fully understand the situation unless you make a right mess of things am I right but no I love it all right bro thank you so much big love well we're going to start MTV faces anxiety series which you'll be presenting
next year I love it now big love man love I've got a rush disappointment yeah go for it see you in the C in a bit
