-Good evening. I'm Seth Meyers. This is "Late Night.
" We hope you're doing well. And now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. Before his rally last night in Wisconsin, former President Trump wore a bright orange vest and rode in a Trump brand garbage truck at the Green Bay airport.
I don't get it. Is he trying to show us every job he's not qualified for? [ Laughter ] Former President Trump yesterday claimed that Vice President Kamala Harris paid people to attend her Washington, D.
C. speech, whereas he just paid the one. [ Laughter ] Vice President Kamala Harris held a rally last night in Wisconsin, featuring a musical performance by Mumford and Sons, which could be what puts her over the top in the 1892 presidential election.
[ Laughter ] In a speech yesterday to volunteers in North Carolina, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz said that democracy will not be, quote, "brought down by a con man from New York City. " Hey, don't drag us into this. He's a con man from Palm Beach.
[ Laughter ] Former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger yesterday endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris. Or he endorsed a carnival in Paris. It's hard to say.
[ Laughter ] [ Applause ] [ Gibberish ] [ Speaking indistinctly in Schwarzenegger voice ] [ Laughter ] [Normal voice] According to new reports, Elon Musk offered his sperm to former independent vice presidential candidate Nicole Shanahan. I think nothing sums up Elon Musk better than offering someone a thing they can get literally anywhere, but also a way worse version. [ Laughter ] That's right, Elon Musk reportedly offered his sperm to former independent vice presidential candidate Nicole Shanahan.
Well, I will say that having his child is a great way to make sure you never see him again. [ Laughter and groans ] [ Applause ] I'm okay with that reaction. [ Laughter ] New York Mayor Eric Adams spoke today at the NYPD recruit graduation ceremony.
It's wild to think that someday one of those fresh, young faces could be the one who finally takes Adams into custody. [ Laughter ] Dunkin has unveiled its holiday menu, which includes a hash brown brisket scramble bowl. How is that a holiday item?
[ Laughter ] You went into the bathroom and it lasted for eight nights? [ Laughter ] The Los Angeles Dodgers are World Series champions after the New York Yankees -- [ Cheers and boos ] Work it out. [ Laughter ] The Los Angeles Dodgers are World Series champions after the New York Yankees were defeated by the New York Yankees.
[ Laughter ] And finally, Instacart has released a list of the most popular Halloween candy by state, like Reese's Cups in Maine, M&Ms in Montana, and in Florida, unfiltered cigarettes. And that was a monologue. Here we go.
We're off and running, you guys. Got a great show tonight. He is an Oscar-nominated actor and filmmaker you know from "The Social Network" and "Fleishman Is in Trouble.
" He wrote, directed and starred in "A Real Pain," which is in theaters this weekend. Our friend Jesse Eisenberg is back on the show. [ Cheers and applause ] She's the best-selling author and co-host of "Morning Joe" weekday mornings here on MSNBC.
Mika Brzezinski will also be joining us, you guys. I mean, if -- and I'm not saying you want to -- but if you want to take your mind off this election that's coming up, check out my new comedy special this weekend, "Dad Man Walking. " It's streaming on Max.
I do a five-second Biden impression and that's it for politics. The rest is me just dogging on my kids, my wife, my parents, my in-laws, my brother. And, you guys, I think they might be pretty mad about it, but you know, they can't argue with a hit, so the more of you that stream it, that will help me get out of a jam.
[ Laughter ] Back to the election. With five days to go until the presidential election, Donald Trump dressed up as a garbage man and rode around in a garbage truck in Wisconsin. That's a real thing that happened.
It's not a nightmare you had after you ate too much Halloween candy and fell asleep on the couch watching "Dateline. " [Bleep] happened, dudes. [ Laughter ] Don't believe me?
Well, strap in, because it's time for "A Closer Look. " [ Cheers and applause ] All politicians pander, but Donald Trump -- Donald Trump is the most shameless and prolific panderer in American history, and he's not even artful about it. -I love America.
I love women. I love banks. I love sports.
I love cranes, I love trucks. I love the Second Amendment. I love tariffs.
I love free trade. I love Christmas. I love construction.
I love Puerto Rico. I love children. I love God, and I love my church.
I love UFC. I love people. I love the rallies.
I love the police. I love the evangelicals. I love the Tea Party.
I love the Muslims. I love the military. I love Mexican people.
I love Canada. I love that book. I love that chart.
I love the farmers. I love the Bible. I love the poorly educated.
I love McDonald's. I love cows. -It sounds like someone's Tinder bio after they do three rails of cocaine.
I love food, I love movies, I love long walks on the beach, I love trucks, I love cows, books, I love charts, I love dancing, I love McDonald's, I love, love, love, I love loving things. I love listing all the things I love it. I'd love to go with you because I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
And send. And now wait. [ Laughter ] The [bleep] is wrong with this?
! Donald Trump will say anything to anyone, but he doesn't mean any of it. And we all know that because we had four years of a Trump presidency to evaluate how sincere he was about his love for those groups.
He betrayed farmers and ranchers with trade wars that hurt their exports. He betrayed truckers by relaxing safety rules that limited driving hours. He betrayed coal miners by weakening health protections while their jobs disappeared.
He betrayed cows by eating an entire herd of them at the White House. He betrayed fast food workers by scrapping a plan to protect them from employer abuses. He betrayed women by halting an equal pay rule, curtailing access to birth control, and appointed the justices who overturned Roe v.
Wade. And he betrayed the Bible and his own trade policies by selling his own Trump-branded version of it that was made in China. If you truly love the Bible, you're not supposed to profit off it.
The only reason that's not one of the commandments is because God assumed it was [bleep] implied. "Should I put in 'don't sell this stuff for personal gain'? They'll know, right?
I'd love to keep it at around 10. " [ Laughter ] And one of Trump's favorite pandering tactics is playing dress-up. He loves putting on a costume.
In 2016, he put on a coal miner's helmet and pretended to use an invisible shovel. As president, he put on a Stetson hat and pretended to be a big ol' cowboy, played around in a big rig like a five-year-old waiting for his parents at a car dealership. He showed up to a speech in a flight jacket and admirals cap, and most recently staged a photo op in McDonald's, where he learned what it's like to be a fry cook by having someone else tie his apron on.
You know, the way all fast food workers do. He looks like a medieval lord having his garments put on by a page. "I shall be seeking an audience before the golden arches.
Drpe me in your finest flame-retardant fabrics. " [ Laughter ] And then on Wednesday, he donned his latest and perhaps his most insane outfit yet. -Trump arriving in battleground Wisconsin in an orange vest, jumping into a garbage truck, his name plastered on the side.
-How do you like my garbage truck? -Is it really your garbage truck? Or did a sanitation worker show up to work that morning and say, "Uh, where's my truck, dude?
" Also, you know how I know it's not yours? You're sitting in the passenger seat. Even when you're pandering, you still have to be chauffeured.
[ As Trump ] Sanitation is hard work, but, you know, I've got the muscle for it. Now, take me around the park, Jeeves. I -- I do love the park.
[ Normal voice ] You want to know what I really think of your garbage truck? I think it's awesome and I think you should stay there. I think you should drop out of the race and host a reality show where you try out different jobs while wearing exactly one piece of that job's uniform.
You could be a fry cook, trucker, sanitation worker, cowboy, air force pilot, and of course, who can forget this? -I want to be a whale psychiatrist. -You can do it all, my man.
You can do it all. If he would just renounce politics and plead guilty to his crimes, he could go back to being a TV moron whose mind is blown whenever he learns a very basic fact about a very common job. -Never even touch it, huh?
-Exactly. -Always wondered. Wow.
That's pretty good. Never touches the human hand. -Very good.
-Nice and full. -Thank you. -Never touched by a human hand.
Nice and clean. Of course my hands are nice and clean. -You thought they were touching the fries with their hands?
The scalding hot fries? And you were still eating them this whole time. What did you learn by pretending to be a garbage man?
[ As Trump ] You know, the garbage men, they don't eat the trash. A lot of people -- a lot of people assume that's where it goes, but they actually put it in the back of the truck and then the truck eats it. [ Normal voice ] That's his true calling, being dumb on TV.
In fact, even after he did the McDonald's stunt, he still couldn't explain how the fries were made. -Those French fries were good. They were good.
They were right out of the, uh. . .
They were right out of whatever the hell they may come out of. [ Laughter ] -I'll give you a hint. It's not the Frencher.
[ Laughter ] You don't know what it's called? Were you paying any attention at all? What was going through your mind when they were giving you a tour of the kitchen?
"When I grow up, I want to be a garbage man. " But Trump's garbage truck stunt, it will not surprise you, did not go as planned. For one thing, he nearly ate [bleep] getting into the truck in the first place.
[ Grunts ] In fairness, it's the first time in his life he's ever opened a door for himself. Remember the "Access Hollywood" tape when he almost got trapped inside the bus. -Down below.
Pull the handle. -Hello. -That was 2005.
It's been 19 years. He still doesn't know how to open a door. And yet Trump's boosters and right-wing media saw that clip, they thought it was awesome.
-And today in Wisconsin, take a look at that. This may go down as an iconic epic moment that we will remember for a long time. -I mean, it might, but not for the reasons you're thinking.
Donald Trump is so feeble and infirm he looks like he's slipping on ice in 65-degree weather, like he was wearing invisible roller skates. Can you imagine this happening on the other side? Like if an anchor on MSNBC played that clip of Biden falling on the stairs to Air Force One and said, "What we're seeing, ladies and gentlemen, is true leadership.
As he makes his ascent, only one word comes to mind -- epic. " [ Air horn blows ] [ Guitar riff ] [ Laughter ] And yet even that is somehow not the most indelible image from this ridiculous stunt. Because what I'm about to show you is a real photo, completely untouched by our graphics team.
It is not AI. It is real life. Here it is.
[ Laughter ] You know, when this dude first ran for president back in 2015, we were all guilty of making jokes about how he looked like a traffic cone. But then we came to our senses. We started focusing on what a unique threat his policies were to this country.
With that said, [bleep] me, does he look like a traffic cone in this picture! [ Laughter and applause ] -Also. .
. [ Laughter ] Not his fault where they put the microphone, but he looks like a traffic cone with a Wookiee's [bleep]. And is his face also wearing a reflective vest?
And what's with the white circle? Before this was taken, did you eat, like, 100 powdered donuts? That's a real-ass undoctored photo, you guys.
And if you thought this fever dream couldn't get any more surreal, you were wrong. Because he kept the vest on for his rally where he made a series of unhinged and creepy remarks. -Kamala made a speech with a lot of paid audience.
They had a lot of paid audience. They came in buses, the same buses, all those same buses. You know what that means?
They bused people in. She loves transgender operations all over the place. Everybody should have one.
I want to protect the women of our country. I want to protect the women. "Sir, please don't say that.
" Why? They said, "We think it's -- we think it's very inappropriate for you to say so. " Why?
I'm president. I want to protect the women of our country. I said, well, I'm going to do it whether the women like it or not.
-This -- This is how hard it is to be a woman in America. You're just walking down the street, minding your own business, and a man dressed like, but not an actual garbage man says he's going to protect you whether you like it or not. Also, what do you mean she wants transgender operations for everybody?
Who's listening to that and believes him? Who thinks Harris' platform is "everybody's switching"? [ Laughter ] But somehow things kept getting more deranged and more surreal.
Because at the end of this unhinged speech, Trump did his usual "Y. M. C.
A. " dance with the costume still on. -♪ Young man, there's no need to feel down ♪ ♪ I said, young man, get yourself off the ground ♪ -It's like an audition for the Village People before they decided to go with six.
"Yeah, garbage man, we're just not feeling it. " How is this real life? He doesn't look like he's running for president.
He looks like he's at a Halloween party in an assisted living facility. [ Laughter ] Which brings me to the last thing I want to say about this. Donald Trump could never make it as a sanitation worker.
It's a tough job with actual stakes, genuine responsibilities, and no amount of cosplaying can make up for the fact that he'd be really bad at it. He wouldn't last a day. If Trump was a sanitation worker in New York City, we'd have garbage piled higher than the Empire State Building.
As opposed to what we currently have, which is only half as tall. I mean, that's why he dances like this. He looks like he's struggling to tie the strings on a garbage bag.
[ Laughter ] But this brings me back to where we started, the central lie of Donald Trump's political career -- that he's a populist, an everyman, a champion of the working class. It's a fraud. He cozied up to the world's richest people, promised them free rein over the government if he wins, said he'll give them another huge tax cut, larger than the last one he gave them.
He's palled around with them at steakhouses and exclusive clubs, glitzy Palm Beach fundraisers, and offered them special treatment in exchange for $1 billion. But his lackeys, they want you to think he dressed up in costumes because he's a regular Joe, just like you. -He was interacting with people.
He was talking to the employees, he was giving people food, and he was just being, I think, what he does best, which is just being among the people, talking to them about what they care about. He showed, I think, genuine interest in the employees and their lives and where they came from and what they were actually doing in their job. And that's something you can't stage and you can't fake.
That is just the genuine person that Donald Trump is. -He didn't remember what they made the fries in! He showed more interest in how wind affects whales than how working affects people.
Trump does not have a genuine interest in the lives of working people. Otherwise, he might care even a little bit about their basic needs. Instead, he bragged about refusing to pay overtime, which sanitation workers and fast food employees, just to name a few, depend on.
He laughed with the world's richest man about firing workers who strike with their unions. You know, like the ones coal miners and auto workers belong to. During his presidency, corporate profits soared while manufacturing jobs declined and three million Americans lost their health insurance.
He once blurted out, and this is real, "I just don't want a poor person running the economy. " The people closest to him quickly learn he's a fraud. His former aides and military officials have called him a fascist.
His former lawyers and cabinet officials have called him a unique and dangerous threat to American democracy. People who were his best friends for decades have called him a liar, a coward and a con man. His own vice president said he should never be president again, and his secretary of state, his national security advisor, and his chief of staff called him an idiot, a dope and a moron with the intelligence of a kindergartener, which is why he dresses like a five-year-old trick-or-treating after dark.
"Alright, Donald. Don't forget your safety vest. " "He wanders into the street.
" [ Laughter ] As we speak, the world's richest man is spending untold sums to get him elected and tricking people into campaigning for him, while the Republican Speaker of the House suggests that if Trump wins, they'll once again try to repeal Obamacare. This is the one discernible throughline of Trump's presidency in his three campaigns. Billionaires will flourish while regular people will suffer.
His promises are worth no more than whatever you'd find in the back of a. . .
-Garbage truck. -This has been "A Closer Look.
